FEMINISM and
me
- Shreya Pathrabe How incredible of us humans that since birth we have been associated with certain gender roles. “ladka paida hua hai ya ladki?”. It all starts from here. The birth. “pink or blue, hot wheels ya Barbie” were our options as a child. If we selected the other we were always termed as “ye ladka hai” – “you are a tomboy”. BUT WHY? As a society, Women in the Indian society have been considered inferior to men for many years because of Patriarchy. Right from not approving of the male child helping in the household chores as much as the female child, to encouraging him for higher education and skill development courses unlike the female child, patriarchy has always considered female as the weaker sex. It confines women within the narrow limits of sexual beauty. Gender construction dictates how the females should behave, how they should dress, what they should wear, what words they should use. Patriarchy in general presents double standards with respect to women. For instance, sanitary napkins are ugly and unacceptable items taken as forms of protest, to talk about menstruation or to go to temples while menstruating is wrong but women who wear sanitary napkins are taken as so target of sexual violence even during menstruation! Patriarchy, in order to fix paternity, created the institution of a family/marriage which confined women within the four walls of 'home'. Thus the process of controlling the female sexuality began in course of which the women were taught to take the private part of their body as secret and a manner of shame. When women are objectified, there is always the threat of sexual violence, there is always intimidation, there is always the possibility of danger. And women live in a world defined by that threat, whereas men, simply, do not. The body language of women and girls remains passive, vulnerable, submissive, and very different from the body language of men and boys. One of the key reasons behind gender-based violence is propagating misogynistic culture in our everyday lives as a widely accepted norm. Disguised in forms of sexist dialogues and jokes, subtle elements of stalking culture in mainstream media, degraded terms used for individuals who don't identify as cis men, etc., the list finds its way into the ever-growing violent attitude against women.
Instead of focusing on all kinds of toxic behaviour falling on the misogynistic spectrum, most of the attention is usually paid to an offense that looks more substantial in nature, any one-dimensional corrective measure on which, may not give us promising conclusions. Moreover, the power dynamics between a dominating and a dominant gender that usually accelerates toxic masculinity always justifies the oppression on the latter. “Will you let me know when you get home?” That is the last thing we ask a female friend when we say goodbye. All women know that they are at risk of being mugged on the dark, winding streets, or that they can be harassed or abused in a poorly lit public transport station, empty streets or vacant plots. Imagine an Indian city full of women on the street corners: talking, smiling, breast-feeding, sharing corporate notes or scheduling protest meetings. Imagine footpaths spilling over as they drink tea and chat about marriage, cricket and the new blockbuster of old and young women watching the world move by. Imagine women sitting at the Nukad focusing on world politics in saris, shorts, salwars and skirts and dissecting the growing sensex. If you can imagine this, you're imagining a radically different place. Since women don't loiter, it is different. A familiar sight in the city is men hanging out. At a paanwalla or lounge on a park bench, a man can pause for a cigarette. He may stop and look at the sea, or drink chai at a tea stall. Even late into the night, he could wander the streets. Maybe women don't. There is an unspoken presumption that a loitering woman is up to no good. Either she's mad or bad or dangerous to society. Of course, no one says this out loud, honestly. But every little girl is brought up to learn that from one 'sheltered' room to another, she must walk a straight line between home and school, home and workplace, home and the home of her friend or relative. It never chooses to make public places safe for her when society wishes to keep a woman safe. Alternatively, it tries to lock her up at home or at school or college or in a friend's home.
A feminist is a person who believes in the power of women just as much as they believe in the power of anyone else. Its equality, its fairness and I think it's a great thing to be a part of.