APRIL 2009
msm MASSACHUSETTS
singles
MAGAZINE
FIRST DATE FASHION THE COOKIE QUEEN ON THE REBOUND! GETTING YOUR GAME BACK
SEX BUDDIES: FRIEND OR FOE?
Volume 1, Number 3
april
inside
2009
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04 CONTRIBUTORS
10 FEATURED SINGLES
05 EDITOR’S LETTER Plus, our Ask Marie dating advice column.
11 FASHION SEN$E
06 LIPSTICK CORNER
12 APRIL’S COVER GIRL
07 THE COLUMN
13 MSM NIGHT LIFE
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SPOTLIGHT 08 Massachusetts’ Cookie Queen
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09 SERVING ONE
Chef Joseph A. Carli of blu shares his recipe for Chicken Cacciatore
14 ON THE TOWN WITH MSM Photos from our monthly singles events.
15 HOROSCOPE
What to expect in the month ahead.
ON THE COVER: Natalia Kravtsova, 22, photographed by Mehdy Ogine-Noel in Newton, MA, March 2009. Natalia’s jewelry designed by Stella Hamm (www.stellahamm.com). Styling by Marie. If you would like to be considered for our cover, contact us at: 617-527-0381 or publisher@singlesmag.net. © 2009 by MSM. Massachusetts Singles Magazine is published monthly in Newton, Massachusetts. ADVERTISERS: contact MSM at 617-527-0381 or publisher@singlesmag.net. Visit us online at www.singlesmag.net.
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MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
Put your best shoe forward!
FASHION CONSULTING PERSONAL SHOPPING CORPORATE GIFT SHOPPING Call today to schedule your appointment.
Marie’s Styling Services 617.527.0381 • marie@mariesstyling.com www.mariesstyling.com
contributors JANELLE POWERS
BOBBY CARR
Writer janelle.powers@singlesmag.net
Writer bobby.carr@singlesmag.net
Janelle was born and raised right here in Boston. She attended Hofstra University in New York where she studied journalism and theatre. She’s had several small acting roles in film and television, as well as some roles on the stage. She currently works as a histology technician and lives in Brighton with her fiancé.
Bobby is always looking to utilize his creative attributes, which have led him in many different directions, including starring in the independent horror film Prichard and Silas. He is now following his true passion to be a writer. Bobby states, “My only unfulfilled aspiration is finding true love, because I believe you are not truly happy unless you can share that happiness with someone else—which is why I am ecstatic about writing for a singles magazine.”
MEHDY OGINE-NOEL
JOHN F
Photographer, graphic designer, video editor realtouch@ymail.com
Art direction, graphic design & layout retropolis@att.net
Mehdy earned his graphic design degree from the Katherine Gibbs school in 2003. Mehdy owns RealtoucH, a photography company. Mehdy has done photography for weddings, corporate events, and websites. Visit him on the web at www.realtouchpg.com.
John earned his degree in graphic design from Middlesex Community College, and interned at Mullen Advertising and Belgraphix Studios. He works in the health care field and does freelance graphic design and video production. His video short Other Priorities was screened at the 2007 100-Second Film Festival.
Single? Photo of Tiffany Abril by Drew Devine
MSM: Showcasing Massachussetts’ eligible singles.
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Celebrate singlehood at our monthly events (and maybe meet that special someone!) Enjoy thought-provoking articles on dating, relationships and sex. Post your profile to meet other compatible singles. Visit our website to find out where to pick up your complimentary copy of Massachusetts Singles Magazine. www.singlesmag.net
MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
{editor’s letter}
Dear Reader, Each month, I write the editor's letter and I love it. I look forward to informing all new and old MSM readers about the progress of the magazine. I thank everyone who has been supporting the publication because you are what keep MSM alive. For the month of March, Robin was the cover single and she looked amazing! Many people have emailed me or personally told me how impressed they were with MSM's March issue and I am very happy. John, MSM's creative director, changed up a lot of things and he is determined to see the magazine improve issue by issue. Thank you John. April's issue is all about the Spring season. Spring is one of the best times of the year for singles to get out there and date. Starting with this issue, local talents and businesses will be featured in our monthly Spotlight column. MSM is primarily distributed in Boston, Worcester
ASK MARIE
and the North Shore at this time but I am working on getting the magazine to other areas in Massachusetts in upcoming months. In future issues, MSM will have more articles on dating, sex and relationships, because new writers will be joining the magazine. The MSM website has also undergone a few changes. Massachusetts' Singles Magazine is now online at www.singlesmag.net under the Current Issue section. The digital version can now be read clearly and is printer-friendly. I now write a blog where readers can read and post comments. Our logo contest design has been extended to April 10th. Readers can start voting for their favorite logo on April 11th and the winner will be announced May 1st, 2009. MSM continues to welcome more advertisers to support the magazine and to sponsor singles' events in the Massachusetts area.
Marie Stuart Noel Publisher and Editor 617-527-0381 publisher@singlesmag.net
our monthly advice column on dating & relationships Send your questions to: publisher@singlesmag.net
Dear Marie, I am 45 years old, I've never been married and have no children. Recently, I met a woman and I fell in love with her right away. She is very beautiful, smart but much younger than me. The problem is that she loves to go to bars and party. When she gets drunk, she kisses all the guys at the bar, which I don't like at all. I don't always go out with her but even when I'm out with her, she does this. I often have to pull guys away her, and then these guys look at me like I'm a creep (because I'm older). She really is a great person and I love her and can see myself marrying her—but I cannot get past the person she becomes when she’s drinking. —Dan, Back Bay Dear Dan, Wow Dan, you are a good man! I do not know
any man who would put up with someone with this behavior. I am truly sorry that you have to deal with this situation. I understand why it's hard for a man who is “in love” to witness other men kiss his woman. I suspect that she uses intoxication as an excuse to cheat on you. She might become the wife that you want but she will probably never be the wife that you need. What she does when she gets intoxicated is a sign of immaturity. You've stated that she is much younger; this might be the problem. She is young and still wants to party and have fun. You are older and you are looking for marriage. Eventually, when she outgrows this immaturity, she will no doubt be a great catch. But right now she is no catch at all. —Best, Marie
MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
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LIPSTICK CORNER
Lipstick Corner is written by women, for women
Sex Buddies: Friend or Foe? BY JANELLE POWERS
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ou see it every day on TV shows, movies, music videos, and you even read about it in books. You’ve heard the various nicknames for it: sex buddies, bang buddies, booty calls, friends with benefits. It all means the same thing—sex with absolutely no strings attached. But is it really as fun or as glamorous as it seems? Sure, everyone is busy today. We all have deadlines, timetables, and eighty hour work weeks. Who has time to be in a relationship? But the real question is “Sex Buddies: Friend or Foe?” Speaking from an experienced point of view, I can safely say this: when treading on shaky ground such as this, you need to be very careful. For those of you who don’t know exactly what “friends with benefits” are, I’ll quickly break the basics down for you. Friends with benefits are two adult people who generally know each other fairly well. It can be an old flame or a good friend that you have known for a while. It is someone that you have talked to about this, and have gone over all the ground rules. (And yes, you do need to have ground rules and boundaries so no one gets hurt.) These are my suggestions. You both understand that what
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you’re doing you’re doing for the orgasm alone. There is no cuddling, no dates, no holidays, and no vacations together. It is just sex and sex alone. When you see that person’s number on your phone or when you make plans to see each other, sex is the only reason. Also—this part is optional—there should be some discussion as to how long this “relationship” should last. This type of activity is fun and a great time saver but it does have its time and its place and can’t go on forever. It has been my experience that usually one person will want more, either from this particular partner or from someone else; after all, most of us ultimately
MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
want love, not just a physical relationship. The ending to this particular story can vary. It can range anywhere from falling in love and getting married to hating each other intensely— and anywhere in between. Just remember one thing this is a temporary state to reside in. It is not meant for permanent inhabitants, and it is very important to keep that in mind. No one is ever happy existing on that plane for too long, and like everything else in life you can have too much of a good thing! Janelle Powers can be reached at janelle.powers@singlesmag.net
THE COLUMN BOBBY CARR talks sex, dating & relationships
Find your REBOUND to win back your
cooking. “Top Chef ” had become her new boyfriend and, after watching her favorite Italian be eliminated for a third time, Erin finally eliminated the idea of Kenny coming to his senses and coming back to her. Feeling alone and rejected, Erin got dressed, phoned a friend and decid-
Steve Gertz
A
fter any relationship comes to an end, there is usually one player who feels the wrath of rejection. So in the case of the depressed and rejected, what can we do to move on as quickly as possible? My thought: find an immediate rebound. But if we do find the pleasurable band-aid that is the rebound, when is it time to move on, stop rebounding and start dating? And is it possible for a rebound to turn into a relationship? One week after being kicked to the curb, I realized that taking shots of Patron was working just as poorly at helping me feel better as taking advice from friends. So as the weekend approached I decided the best medicine for my symptoms was Boston, bars and boys. As I was searching for my rebound, my roommate was watching the Celtics do the same. After pseudo-dating for three months, Erin’s relationship with Kenny had gone from getting off to being blown off. Then one night just as a Celtics game was starting, Kenny informed Erin that he would be over after the end of the second quarter. As the end of the fourth quarter approached, Erin realized the only tail she was getting was the tail end of a basketball game—and she hates sports. Three weeks later and still no Kenny. Erin had replaced sex with
GAME
ed that martinis at Fins was the best way to get her game back. As Erin stood up from the bar to fix a crease in her little black dress, she bumped into a man who just so happened to be a chef. Many weeks later, after a passionate night with a chef who was competing for her heart, not for $100,000, Erin and her chef had found something in common and continued to mix it
up. Her rebound was now evolving into a full-fledged relationship. Two months after my own twomonth relationship fell apart, while my roommate was enjoying her fairytale ending, I was having trouble writing a happy ending to my tale. I had been out on numerous dates with a doctor, a designer and a dancer. The problem was, although I was dating, I was attracted to those with no relationship potential. The doctor was too old and into himself, the designer was too young and easy, and the dancer was just too busy. Then one night, as I was driving home from another futureless date, I realized I wasn’t dating at all. Although I frequently scored, subconsciously it was the result of constant rebounding. I was losing at my own game of moving on and starting another substantial relationship. With this thought in mind I began to ask myself, what do we do when we put ourselves out there after a break-up but continue to get involved with the wrong people? The only answer I could come up with was to keep trying until you’re ready to let the ball move from your court to a neutral playing zone. You can reach Bobby at bobby.carr@singlesmag.net
MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
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SPOTLIGHT
Cookie
Q
ueen BY MARIE STUART NOEL
Kim Aberget is project manager for a well-known financial services company in Boston by day—and a baking cookie queen on the weekends. She bakes scrumptious cookie treats that melt in your mouth (trust me, I’ve tried some!) In February 2009, Kim opened her online mail-order cookie store “Sugar+Spice” (www.sugarplusspice.etsy.com), and since then has enjoyed nothing but 100% positive feedback from her customers. Easter is this month (Sunday, April 12) and Kim tells us she’ll be baking dozens of the sweetest Easter cookies to help us celebrate. Kim spoke to MSM in late March, to tell us about a little about herself, her business—and her cookies!
MSM: What motivated you to start a cookie baking business online? Kim Aberget: Starting Sugar+Spice was ideal for me. Baking cookies has been a passion of mine for many years. Every Christmas, I bake somewhere around 1200 cookies, package them and mail them to family members and friends. What kind of responses have you been getting so far from people who've eaten your cookies? Family, friends and coworkers love them. The customers who order from Sugar+Spice online have given me nothing but great reviews and positive feedback. Customers love the cookies but they also love the packaging as well. The packaging is what sets Sugar+Spice apart from other cookie brands on the market.
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MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
So tell us, what is your favorite cookie? My favorite cookie to eat is walnut rugelash. My favorite cookie to make is ice sugar cookies because I have so much fun decorating them. I get very creative with the decoration. Also I enjoy putting a twist on traditional cookies. Would you ever consider leaving your full-time job to work on Sugar+Spice full time? My goal is to eventually open my own bakery, but at the moment I really enjoy my job as a project manager. It certainly sounds like business is pretty sweet right now at Sugar+Spice!
SERVING ONE
Chicken Cacciatore BY CHEF JOSEPH A. CARLI
3 chicken thighs All purpose flour (for dredging the chicken) 1 onion cut small 5 cloves garlic chopped fine 1 tsp salt and more to taste 1 cup red wine 4 fillets anchovies chopped fine (can be omitted)
1/2 cup capers chopped One 14.5 oz can of stewed tomatoes A small pinch of dried oregano 1 tbsp vegetable oil 2-3 cups chicken broth (depending on how saucy you like your cacciatore!)
• Sprinkle and mix the salt into the flour. • Dredge the chicken into the seasoned flour and set aside. • Heat a skillet on your stove top and pour in 1 tbsp vegetable oil. • Once the pan is hot, add the chicken skin side down and allow it to get nice and golden brown. (Be patient— it make take a few minutes depending on your stove). • Once it looks nice and golden brown, turn over and add the onions, garlic, anchovies, capers and oregano. • While leaving your chicken in the pan, stir and scrape up any bits that were stuck to the bottom of the pan.
Joseph A. Carli is the Executive Chef at blu restaurant in Boston.
• Once the onions become soft add the wine. • When the wine looks to be almost gone (evaporated) from the pan, add the tomatoes and chicken broth. • Allow to stew for 15 minutes on the stove top. • Remove from heat. • Transfer to a plate and enjoy with your favorite glass of wine!
To enjoy Chef Carli’s Chicken Cacciatore or any of his other culinary masterpieces, visit blu restaurant, 4 Avery Street, Boston, MA. Tel: 617-375-8557; online at www.blurestaurant.com.
MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
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featured
april 2009
SINGLES To appear in our Featured Singles pages, fill out our on-line survey at www.singlesmag.net, send us an email at singles@singlesmag.net, or call us at 617-527-0381. There is no charge to post your profile on these pages.
Sarnie, age 28 sarniem@singlesmag.net
ZODIAC SIGN: Aquarius JOB FIELD: Lab Technician LIVES: Boston, MA WORKS: Boston, MA MSM: What do you like to do and where do you like to hang out? Sarnie: I love music, sports, movies and food. I love hanging out anywhere that’s fun. How long have you been single? I've been single for a year or so. What do you look for in a woman? I like a woman who’s honest, funny, caring, smart, likes to try new things and have fun.
Bill, age 29 billa@singlesmag.net ZODIAC SIGN: Leo JOB FIELD: HVAC Tech LIVES: Framingham, MA WORKS: Sudbury, Natick, Newton, Wellesley, Weston and Waltham, MA MSM: What is your favorite place to hang out? Bill: My favorite place to hang out is the North End in Boston. What do you look for in a woman? In a woman I look for honesty, someone who is educated and has self-confidence. Tell us something interesting about yourself. The most interesting about me is that I have a lot of self-confidence.
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MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
FASHION SEN$E
BY MARIE STUART NOEL
First Date First Impression
Y
ou’ve met a gorgeous man and you have a date scheduled. Now what are you going to wear? You look in your closet and you have nothing to wear—not a thing. I feel your pain! I have a huge walkin closet and own close to 200 pairs of shoes, and yet I am the woman who never has anything to wear. In truth, I have plenty to wear, it's just difficult picking out the perfect outfit for the first date. So, I’ve put together a few tips on how to choose just the right look for a first date.
First: What day of the week and time is your date? Is it a lunch date, or dinner? Is it on the weekend, a holiday or, say, a Monday night? Wearing your work attire to a lunch date is a great look. You’ll look professional and it makes for an easy decision. But remember not all work outfits are appropriate for a lunch date. A butcher or a carpenter certainly cannot wear work clothing on a date!
Second: What is planned for this date? Dinner and a movie, a walk in the park, a Red Sox game, etc? When you know in advance where you are going for your date, it is much easier to dress the part. If you are not sure what type of date you are going to, choose something safe. What is safe attire? For men, it's shirt, slacks and comfortable shoes. For women it's very little jewelry, a flattering shirt, pants (not jeans) and comfortable shoes. Your date might surprise you and take you to a basket-
ball game, you should not be wearing a dress and high heels.
Third: What is the look that you want to present? Sexy, cute, conservative, or “I want to get laid tonight”? Whatever you choose to wear on a first date can make the difference between a successful date or a real disaster. Wearing a shirt that causes a wardrobe malfunction can send the wrong signal to your date. You can look sexy without showing all your goodies. My personal rule is: Flaunt your best asset, do not flaunt all assets simultaneously, and keep it simple. What I mean by best asset is, if you have a very nice cleavage, show it off. But don’t accent your cleavage and show a lot of legs at the same time—that's flaunting two assets simultaneously. Wearing a pair of stud earrings is simple and elegant; wearing ten pieces of jewelry is distracting. When in doubt about jewelry, less is more.
IF YOU HAVE A VERY NICE
CLEAVAGE, SHOW IT OFF!
MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
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meet our April
Cover Girl
MSM is pleased to introduce you to Natalia Kravtsova. Although she’s is not single, we’re thrilled to feature Natalia on our April cover. Originally from Russia, she now makes her home in Quincy. She is a full-time student and model and is represented in Boston by Imagemakers modeling agency.
*jewelry by Stella Hamm www. stellahamm.com If you would like to be considered for our cover, contact us at: 617-5270381 or publisher@singlesmag.net.
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MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
MSM NIGHT LIFE {our favorite places to see & be seen} Sand Bar 714 Washington Street Lynn, MA 781-593-7263 Sand Bar is a pretty cool place to hang out at any night of the week. The staff are friendly and the atmosphere is relaxed. Sand Bar features dart boards, a juke box, pool tables, and plasma TVs to watch the Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins or Pats. Each and every Saturday night there’s live music, and the Sand Bar staff cheerfully provided me with a calendar of upcoming events. All shows are free and begin at 5:00 pm. Catch USEFUL IDIOT, a Tool tribute band, on Saturday, April 11, and don’t miss Guns n’ Roses tribute band COCAINE LOUNGE on Saturday April 18.
Chasers 90 Commercial Street Worcester, MA 508-754-7742 www.chasers90.com Chasers Bar, 90 Commercial Street in Worcester, is a recent and welcome addition to the city’s night life. Opened less than a month ago, it is already one of the most talked-about bars in the Worcester region. Chasers offers karaoke, live bands, tasty drinks and hearty food. The first floor bar is sure to appeal to just about everybody—the college crowd hunting for a great night of partying or young professionals looking to hang out after work. MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
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On the Town with
MSM
St. Patrick’s Day “Write On a T-Shirt Party” at Tommy Doyle’s in Harvard Square, Cambridge, MA. March 15, 2009.
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MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
HOROSCOPE {AIRES} ARIES
LIBRA
March 21–April 19 Don't start the day with a feverish pace. You're in the running to win any high-falutin’ derby, plus if you burn out early on, you'll have nothing left when the real fun starts later on. Pace yourself throughout the day and take lots of breaks.
September 23–October 22 Critical mass is approaching in some relationship, whether it's merely casually or hot and heavy. The momentum will rocket this thing into romantic orbit or it'll peter out at the launch pad. Only time will tell at this point—the best thing you can do is to be genuine.
TAURUS April 20–May 20 Are you in denial or have things truly fallen apart? Pull your head out of the sand and sniff the air. If you smell smoke, things have definitely crashed and burned. Your options, though limited, put you on a course for success—don't run back to the wreckage for any last-minute rescue.
GEMINI May 21–June 21 Pick a thing, any thing—chances are you're powerless over it and it's causing an extreme amount of stress. You can't force anyone to fall in love with you, but you can be there when a certain someone comes sniffing around. Stay open to any and all options.
CANCER June 22–July 22 You perceive the snub—someone's blowing you off and you have no idea what prompted it. But you're full of ego and pride. Even if you could you wouldn't confront this person. Let all this sour business float somewhere else. You don't have time for such petty concerns.
LEO July 23–August 22 You're such a loving and kind person—but you feel you need to be more if you want to attract this certain someone. Wait a minute! You are definitely enough. Don't do things against your nature just to prove yourself—you'll totally lose this person's respect if you do.
VIRGO August 23–September 22 The people around you are awfully touchy today—and you'll think it's all about you. Not so. Just give these cranky folks a bit of space and breathing room. It may not be today or tomorrow, but they'll come around soon and apologize for snapping your head off.
SCORPIO October 23–November 21 Fantasyland is great—no wonder you spend an inordinate amount of time pondering people, places and things that don't exist (or at least not like the figments of your imagination). It's safer. But you have to deal with reality right now, so snap out of it.
SAGITTARIUS November 22–December 21 The bickering is really getting old at this point. Try, try as you may, but nobody listens to your pleas for peace. All they care about is making their point heard. Instead of playing placater, why not get online and check out the hotties. It's such a better use of your time.
CAPRICORN December 22–January 19 Someone in the dating world isn't being exactly honest with you. Whether they've lied about their age or profession doesn't matter. If you catch 'em in the act, don't take it lightly. A fib's a fib—and the deception just grows over time. Bad fashion you can fix; a cheat? No way!
AQUARIUS January 20–February 18 Overindulging in sin sounds like a good way to release some stress. Casual sex, a night out at the bar, an entire pint of ice cream to yourself—fun, right? Not so fast. The emotional repercussions aren't worth it. Better to find healthier alternatives to blow off steam.
PISCES February 19–March 20 No matter how hard you try or how much you scheme, your little plans won't fall into place. The end result? Frustration, frustration and more frustration. It's time to find an alternative way out. When the same old, same old fails to yield results, blaze a new path. Horoscopes provided by: horoscopes.astrology.com MASSACHUSETTS SINGLES MAGAZINE • www.singlesmag.net
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