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Spring 2011
Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor and Bachelorette Finalists of 2011 1
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Volume 3, Number 1 Spring 2011
inside Special Feature
Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor and Bachelorette Finalists of 2011
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Bachelor finalist Joshua Jerez
Bachelorette finalist Teri Phipps
Departments Editor’s letter.............................................................05 Dating after 40...........................................................08 Age is just a number...
Single motherhood...................................................10 Single while raising teens
Social media..............................................................12 Social media and the long-distance relationship
Horoscope.................................................................15 Contact usVisit MSM’s website 24/7 www.singlesmag.net Call us: Mon-Fri 10am-5pm (617) 418-1750 www.twitter.com/singlesmag Find us on Facebook under MSM http://www.myspace.com/ massachusettssinglesmag
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Merry Elfing Holiday Party Pictures Page 11
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From the publisher’s desk
ADVERTISE YOUR EVENT IN MSM Dear readers, I have spent the last few months planning and organizing the first Annual Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor and Bachelorette event. This competition has been on my mind since I first launched the magazine. With everything I do, I always want to do things right or not at all. So it took me almost two years to announce the very first competition. Thirty-seven women and sixteen men entered the most eligible bachelor and bachelorette contest. After carefully reviewing each applicant, four women and four men were selected as finalists to compete in the main event on March 12th. I wish to thank all the sponsors of the most eligible bachelor and bachelorette event and contest; platinum title sponsor, Skin Confident, LLC, a cosmetic rejuvenation service based out of Duxbury, MA. Gold sponsors; Body Solutions, a personal service training program in Holbrook, and Belvedere Vodka. I also would like to thanks the judges; Chris Sinclair of Anthem Entertainment, Christian Galvin of TixList.com, Joanne Giannini of Body Solutions, Susan Fallon of Skin Confident and Adaora Asala of Queer Women Of Color. And a special thanks to Erica Wright, the hostess of the event. I wish all the finalists good luck in this competition. Sincerely,
Marie Stuart Noël Publisher 617-418-1750 Publisher@singlesmag.net 5
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Club events Anniversaries Concerts Speed dating events Networking groups Fundraisers Charity events Fashion shows Wine/Food tastings Rallies Got a date disaster story? Share it with the readers. Email info@singlesmag.net
Dating after 40 et’s set the stage for my “Cougar” transformation. There I was, 40 years old and my husband of 10 years had just cheated on me with a woman he met while we were on vacation together. We were on a cruise ship with a bunch of our friends and I had gone back to the cabin to sleep. He stayed out with everyone else and ended up meeting a tranny-looking she-beast at the disco on the ship. First, put yourself in my place and imagine how you would feel: betrayed, unattractive, old, and every other negative feeling all rolled into one. So a few months after we are living apart, I take a much needed vacation to Cancun with my friend Robyn.
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I was sitting there all depressed and feeling bad about myself, getting totally liquored up at the beach bar on the free booze at our all-inclusive resort. To make matters worse, it is actually my wedding anniversary on this particular day. Next thing I know, a 26-yearold cutie from Louisiana named “Boo” (yes, Boo is really his name) is chatting me up. “Wow,” I think, “this guy is actually interested in ME.” Let’s fast for-
Age is just a number… By Joanne Giannini ward to later that night, at which point we are doing the drunken bumper walk back to the room, systematically bouncing off one wall right into the other wall and back again. We get back to my room and I say to him, “You know, I’m much older than you,” to which he replies, “Age is just a number…” Now I know what you are all thinking and quite frankly that’s what I was thinking too, and really all I was looking for was a revenge of sorts against my cheating husband. But seriously, that ended up not being the case at all. A couple of hours later, he’s calling me, asking me if we want to go hang out with him and his friends and then the following day he wants to do something again.
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This guy basically tried his best for the whole vacation to make me happy in every way possible and even called me after we returned and asked me to come visit him.
tells me, “You are always beautiful to me.” Then he went out and got me Gatorade so I wouldn’t die of post-puke dehydration. As strange as it may seem, this guy was the real deal and truly understood how to make a woman feel special. Let me clue all you guys And for the first time in YEARS I felt, well, attractive. in: it’s not fancy dinners or expensive gifts, it’s your And young. And wanted. And happy. This was truly continual ACTIONS – the quick text message to say hi the turning point for me. Still, I though this younger at lunchtime, the kiss on the forehead in the middle of guy thing was just a vacation type of thing. the night, remembering how she likes her tea, etc. – About a year after my Cancun “Boo Boo,” I was at a that really wins a woman’s heart. I was certain he local bar and there was this HOT guy who was obviwould wake up one day and regret being with someone ously much too young for me standing near us. My so much older, so I broke it off. He too insisted this friend misjudged her alcohol intake and was unable to was not going to be the case, telling me that he loved drive home. We were trying to figure out how we me. And yet once again, this was not a chance I was could get her home and then get her back to her car in willing to take. the early morning so she could get to work, since no one else in the group could drive a manual transmisI fully expected that when I returned back to the reality sion, when Buddy (yep, that’s his name) heard our of middle-aged divorcee life I would only date guys conversation and quickly took it as an opportunity to maybe a few years younger and older than me, but batalk to me. He said he would be happy to drive her car sically the same age. But all the guys I’ve dated and then I could drive him back here. She only lived around my own age have been rather, shall we say, about 10 minutes away, mind you. disappointing, and every young guy I have tried to fend off has insisted that “age is just a number” and So, we drop off my friend and her car and I drove him been willing to dive into a relationship head first with no reservations. Strangely enough, I’ve had more back to the bar. He tells me, “I live in the building right behind the bar. Why don’t you come in for a few problems truly connecting with guys around my own minutes and have a beer?” And that was the beginning age than guys a decade (or more) younger. of the Summer of Buddy! Now I tried to not get involved, but the thing was he was so damn adorable and Now again, it’s not that this was my plan. If fact, I’ve good to me. This wasn’t just the quick fling I was ex- tried in every way possible NOT to date guys who are pecting. Other than the fact he was 13 years younger, too young, assuming there could never be a long-term he was actually a great boyfriend. OK, maybe we future. I have often wondered if the reason I can conweren’t having dinners at the Capital Grille, but I real- nect with younger guys so much better is exactly that: ly enjoyed laying in bed watching horror films with I have absolutely no vision of a long-term future with him. Alas, I was certain he would wake up one day them, and hence I’m not afraid to actually be myself, and regret being with someone so much older, so I with all my flaws and imperfections. It is like the unbroke it off. He insisted this was not going to be the suitable suitors get the “full-fat and flavor version” of case, telling me that he loved me and wasn’t going me, rather than the “low-fat and less-filling version” anywhere. Unfortunately, this was not a chance I was the more suitable suitors get. I have also wondered if willing to take. the younger generation of men is just, well, different, brought up in an era where it is acceptable for men to Next up is Jason, who is again 13 years younger. Just be more loving and giving in general. like with Buddy, I had never intended to get very involved and again, he ended up being really special. As So is age just a number? And is it really possible to an example, one night we went out and the combinahave a true relationship with someone a decade (or tion of much alcohol and greasy late-night food did not more) younger? Log onto www.singlesmag.net and let agree with me whatsoever and I ended up puking the us know what you think. MEOW! entire night. The next day I’m laying there a total train Yes, that’s right, thousands! □ wreck. I tell him, “Don’t even look at me” and he reaches over, hugs me, kisses me on the forehead and 7
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Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor and Bachelorette of 2011 Party Welcome to the first annual Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor and Bachelorette event. Tonight, one gentleman will win the title of Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelor. And one young woman will win the title of Boston’s Most Eligible Bachelorette. Each winner will take home $1000 worth of prizes. Platinum sponsor Skin Confident, LLC 40 Tremont St, Building 10, Suite 50, Duxbury, MA 02332 http://skinconfident.com
Gold sponsor Body Solutions Holbrook, MA http://joannesbodysolutions.com
6:00PM-6:45PM Guests check-in Pick up goodie bags J. Allen Matchmaking 6:30PM-7:15PM http://jallenmatch.com Complimentary appetizers Networking Twitter Other sponsors 7:15PM-7:45PM Feel free to tweet this Hostess will introduce the judges, Belvedere Vodka event using the hashtag and the finalists Liv Sxinney #Bostonmosteligible2011 7:45PM-8:15PM Boob Tube @singlesmag Intermission Guests can vote for one favorite to receive a $100 gift certificate Free Vodka shots courtesy of Belvedere Vodka 8:15PM-:9:00PM The fan favorite will be announced Judges will choose the Boston's Most Eligible Bachelor and Bachelorette of 2011
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Name: Jessica Dolgin City: Chestnut Hill Bio: Jessica is a Network Operations Center Engineer at Athenahealth, Inc., She is a former Dean's List student at the University of Vermont.
The Finalists
Name: Diane Deng City: Boston Bio: Diane Deng volunteers as the acting director of marketing and promotions office for the Asian-American National Committee, a national non-profit for Asian American rights.
Name: Teri Phipps City: Hopkinton Bio: Teri Phipps is a marketing assistant for a New England based orthopedic company. She enjoys playing softball and has participated in a few mini marathons like the Sharon Timlin run.
Name: Stacey Leasca City: Boston Bio: Stacey Leasca is the editor-in-chief of sumoskinny.com, editor-in-chief of modelkarma.com, and a freelance writer for AOL Patch Boston. 9
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Name: Will Smith City: Lynn, Bio: Will Smith of Lynn is an Iraq war veteran and a former jet engine mechanic in the United States Air force.
Name: Thomas Quinn City: Boston Bio: Tom is a sales associate at Town Fair Tire. He enjoys watching movies, dining in and out, Celtics, Patriots and Red Sox Fan. He is a former little league coach.
Name: Silas Dunham City: Boston Bio: Silas Dunham is the co-founder/president of Sumoskinny.com. Silas has donated time to the conservation project in Peru, invasive plant removal on Australian coast, and has spent 3 Summers as a camp director’s assistant at Tangle wood 4h camp and learning center. Name Joshua Jerez City: Methuen Bio: Joshua is the owner of Computer Solutions, LLC. He is currently completing a degree in Electrical Engineering. Joshua is an avid rugby player. He has volunteered with the New Bedford Boys and Girls Club. He enjoys telling jokes,watching movies and playing chess.
Single while raising teens By April Rose
ly sent away for good. Although she knew of the problems in the home, she never stopped loving and wanting to return home with her nuclear family.
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aising teens alone in today’s age isn’t easy. It truly takes a village to raise a child. What do you do when the absent parent now wants to partially step in and parent the child from a distance? Better yet, how about when the absent parent is an angry unforgiving mom. It’s important for the parents to maintain reasonable communication. How could anyone expect a child to talk and express themselves when the parents aren’t at least cordial with one another? There’s a 16 year-old girl that’s dealing with her absent dad. There’s a 15 year-old being raised by another family member., but yearns for her mother’s love and attention and ultimately a reunion back home. With the 16 year-old, her dad was taken away and deported when she was 2 years old. She’s only had a face to face with him twice since his departure. Now that she is older, he wants her to come live with him. Also to understand why he has a new family and she’s not his priority like he used to tell her. His only means of communication is on the Internet (Facebook) and maybe the phone from time to time. When asked why he doesn’t come back to the states, for she needs him and desires to have this great dad, she was told he made a life there and is happy and peaceful. Now she has to deal with the thought of him wanting to separate her from the rest of her family so she could be with him in his chosen element. The 15 year-old had the chance to grow up part time with her mom, but for some reasons or another she was sent to this relative or that one until she was final-
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The holidays brings about an array of emotions for all, and to these young teens its that much more stressful to handle when they are torn up inside about parents not involved in their lives. How are these young people supposed to understand such trials and expectations set before them? Through no fault of their own, are forced to deal with the thought of being separated and isolated from their familiar. At this time of the year how could one be so selfish and ask a confused and angry teen to make decisions when so many of their own questions have gone unanswered. I’ve learned that although these kids ultimately have to listen and do what they are told, it makes for easier living when you listen to what they have to say or feel. Kids are people too and deserve respect as much as the next person. If taught communication, respect, love, discipline with understanding early in age, then it shouldn’t be too hard to understand them as they get older. Teens are a bundle of hormones, curiosities and uncertainties; it is only expected to have to have major patience if we are to put out a new breed of adults.□ April Rose has been a single mother for over 20 years. She enjoys her work as a massage therapist. April States “ I've learned a lot in my short life about children and have taken some psychology classes to get a better grip on how they think and feel.”
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Merry Elfing Holiday Party at Clash of the Ash in Quincy Joanne Giannini once again organized the annual Merry Elfing Holiday party at Ash of the Clash in Quincy. We raised $640.00 for the Jennifer Tarr Memorial Fund and had a great time! The winner of the $200.00 Restaurant.com gift certificate was Victor Araujo, the best elf attire was Rochelle Patten, biggest donation was Robyn Ward, most helpful elf was Shiela Tarr Lally, and elf who traveled the greatest distance was Kelly Tarr. Below are the photos from the event.
Tasty dessert samples
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By Meg Stivison
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love the cyberpunk connectivity that social networks and ubiquitous smartphones have brought us. I'm excited by new technology creating new social patterns, by the endless, everywhere conversation of texting and the instant connection when photos of distant friends appear in my hands. Every day it's easier to connect based on interest and affection, and not only geography. I love it, of course I do, but somehow the side of me that's taught English still cringes at some of what passes for communication. Do you know what I mean? I hate a perfectly good verb like fail turned into a noun, and then overused. I hate an emoticon used as a crutch to make one's meaning clear, instead of choosing vocabulary more carefully. I've devoted more class time than I'd like to admit to explaining that texting acronyms don't belong in an essay. I empathize with my students' insistence that everyone writes like this, but I still suggest that they look for a synonym for she was :(, and remind them that 2 is neither to nor too. I'm not sure whether to laugh at the hilarious back-formation or cry at the perversion of my beloved English language when my students hug and tell each other "I less than three you!" But then... I met somebody. This is hard to convey by text and tweet, but picture me, saying, with heavy emphasis, that I'd met someone. And, after enumerating his amazing qualities, probably ad nauseum, I'd get around to telling you that this particular somebody has the misfortune of living in a different time zone. 12
He's a great guy, and he meets the requirements for a long distance boyfriend, which is to say he texts affectionately and knows the difference between your and you're. And he passes the test for digital age honesty, the photos and comments on his Facebook wall always match what he tells me. A few weeks into this long-distance flirtation, and now I understand the appeal. An XOXO, formerly the province of childhood birthday cards, makes a forwarded link or a catch-you-later email suddenly affectionate. This would always be sweet, but becomes essential with miles in the middle. As more of my time is spend exchanging texts and annotated links, I'm even reconsidering the juvenile silliness of ASCII icons, considering complicated character flowers and expressions less substitution for textual communication, and more embellishment of his words. This is the digital equivalent of a margin doodle, a perfect example of distant affection. I don't think I'll be OMG-ing any time soon, or cn u l8tr, but I'm revising my stance on smileys and XOXO. I'm just not sure if I less-than-three him yet. â–Ą Meg Stivison is a games journalist and a social media consultant for virtual world Next Island. She blogs on life, videogames, and the intersection of the two at SimpsonsParadox.com Follow Meg on Twitter @ @simpsonsparadox
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Horoscopes LIBRA September 23-October 22
Even though you were getting used to being single, you are starting to give in to the attacks of an intriguing smile. Is marriage on the cards?! If you have an ascendant in Scorpio, you shouldn't worry about being prudent as your friends advises but think rather of acting with decision. \SCORPIO October 23 - November 21
Stop thinking of life as a cross to bear. You are the one ruining it with your innate pessimism. That's enough! You of the second decade seem born to suffer. When you're single, you miss tenderness as a couple but the minute you find a partner, you risk being single again! SAGITTARIUS November 22-December 21
You've always been good at making quick decisions which you feel this time won't be like others. You'll have to choose between a new fascinating encounter and a tested companion. You've been asleep for so long and it's time to wake up now. You will be able to fulfill one of your dreams especially erotic ones. CAPRICORN December 22-January 19
This dry spell is about to finish. Expect a favorable day, full of intriguing encounters. With the stars smiling down on you, you can spend, spend, spend! Those born in the third decade won't be very sentimental or emotional and can expect solitude. You're now fed up you can't knock down that wall of indifference around you. AQUARIUS January 20-February 18
Disappointments over the last few days have left you with a nasty taste in your mouth - there's no doubt about that. You've lost your desire to meet people get over it! Tonight someone you haven't heard from for ages will call you, suggesting a date. You may as well accept, it'll be a change if nothing else! PISCES February 19-March 20
ARIES March 21-April 19 Stop thinking about how lonely you are and try to be in a better mood. It's true you've had some disappointments but better times are on the way. Tonight, unless you're on a yacht sipping champagne, you'd do well to look around for someone similar to you. Somewhere there's someone honest and kind around...just like you! TAURUS April 20-May 20 What is making you so restless? Even today the stars will try to get a smile out of you...in vain. Those of the first decade will fight in the heated boxing ring of cerebral love, leaving one-night stands with a good impression. GEMINI May 21-June 21 Some gardening, preparing a delicious lunch, relaxing in front of the TV-here are a few activities which will make your day less melancholy. Those of you born in the 3rd decade who feel a little blue are advised to put on a brave face and start going from one party to another. It'll take time but this happiness will be exciting. CANCER June 22-July 22 Today your feelings will take the upper hand and past disappointments will result in a good long cry. Tonight those born in the second decade will be even more difficult to please than usual and will refuse to welcome Cupid's arrow. LEO July 23-August 22 Everything will depend on you today my friend : the Stars want to help you to no longer be alone so all you need is the courage to act! Tonight a handful of malicious Stars have decided to ruin your dreams of Love. You'd better fight this! VIRGO August 23-September 22 Today you'll finally manage to look someone in the eyes and confess your love. So for a couple of months anyway you can say goodbye to solitude! For those of you of the second decade, loneliness appears as a necessary evil, a moment's silence after so much disappointment.
*horoscopofree.com
Today with all the work you have to do, you feel a little down. The Stars are promising however so treat yourself to some time out. Relax and enjoy pleasant moments only a single person can. You only have half the dishes to wash as a couple does!
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