Should Your Relationship Live Online?

A look at the pros and cons of sharing your relationship on social media

By Chellee Unruh

It is undeniable that social media has changed our culture to the point where part of our lives exist in the virtual world. Social Media has become the platform we use to stay informed on topics of interest, communicate with friends and family and share our thoughts and experiences with others. Sharing our lives on social media allows family, friends, and sometimes strangers insight into our personal lives. You decide how much of your life to share on social media, but what about your relationship? How much of your relationship should you share on social media? Before making that decision, you should weigh the pros and cons.

Pro: It can strengthen your relationship – Part of having a healthy relationship is sharing feelings of love and gratitude for your partner. You can inspire others with the way you care for them and share your relationship on social media. When friends and family comment positively on your relationship, it can validate and strengthen it so long as you keep the relationship healthy while maintaining some level of privacy.

Con: It can strain your relationship – Sharing your relationship can also have the reverse effect. Chances are that not everyone in your social media contacts is supportive of your relationship. Posting that vacation picture can elicit feelings of jealousy or envy and lead to negative comments that can be toxic to your relationship. This is especially true if you have experienced rocky times and others are aware of your struggles.

Pro: It can help you feel connected to your partner – What you share on social media is very personal even if what you share appears to be vague. Seeing what your partner shares can provide a window into the thoughts and feelings of your partner throughout the day. It can also give you ideas for ways to connect, for example, if you see your spouse like or share a concert post, you can suggest going to that concert for a date night.

Con: Comparing your relationship to others – The pressure of social media on personal appearance, lifestyle, and career can be overwhelming. Studies have shown that excessive social media use can lead to an increased risk of depression, anxiety, and loneliness. If social media can have that effect on your mental health, think about the potential stress it can bring into your relationship. By comparing your relationship to others you can invite unnecessary strain and pressure into your relationship.

Pro: It can help you stay connected with friends and family – Social media has become a way for families and friends to stay connected even if they are divided by time and distance. Sharing your relationship on social media allows your friends and family to feel like they are part of your life and celebrate your milestones. It can be a way to fill the gap of not getting to spend as much time with them as you would like.

Con: Your relationship is too vulnerable to share on social media – If you are new in a relationship, you should give the relationship time to develop before making your social media debut as a couple. Be cautious of sharing a relationship that could be short-lived and opening yourself up to the scrutiny of why it didn’t work. The same is true if your relationship is struggling. It is best to work out your differences in private rather than publicly on social media. Airing your dirty laundry will ultimately cast a negative cloud over your relationship even if you can work past the storm and get to a happier place.

It is important to maintain perspective when using social media. While it is a great way to share with friends and family, what is shared in the virtual world is not always reality. Just because things appear to be great, doesn’t mean that they actually are. Don’t fall into the trap of comparing your relationship to others on social media. People often only share the highlight reel of the positive aspects of their lives leaving the negative aspects private. Rather than worrying about what others are doing on social media, enjoy your life with each other and the experiences you share as a couple. Embrace social media as a way to augment these experiences, but don’t lose sight of being present in the real world. n

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