SISTAH'S PLACE MAGAZINE
MAY 2018
Letrise Carter
SMALL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHTKENNEDY'S SWEET TOOTH SELENA HASKINS KIMBERLY R. JASPER AJA
BEAUTY & CONFIDENCE WALK IN PURPOSE Relationship Advice Me Too Movement Love &Passion USD $2.50
Editor's Note Sistah’s Place is a new digital magazine that will shine the light on talented men and women following their dreams.
COVER STORYpage 6. SMALL BUSINES FEATURE- pg 9. RELATIONSHIPS -pg 21. SOCIAL AWARENESS-Pg. 16 PASSION & LOVE -pg 18.
We are magazine that will not just entertain you but inspire, empower, and have an impact on the community. We will be a voice to shine the light on positive actions of our community but also the injustice that is going on in the community with the hopes to be informative and wake up our people. We are strong together when we tell our stories in our own authentic truth. Get ready to meet some dynamic women writers who will challenge your thoughts, views, and opinions that will keep you coming back for more. Our writers share stories from their heart, passion, experience, and most important their own truth. Being authentic and honest is powerful. Sistah’s Place stands in its own truth to continue to be authentic, unique, informative, empowering, and impactful.
LETRISE CARTER Editor-in-Chief
SISTAH'S PLACE MAGZINE
Coming in Junewe are adding: AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT MONEY & LEGACY
Contributing Writers Showcase Meet our contributing writers for Sistah’s Place Digital Magazine. They are authors and freelance writers sharing their stories through Storytelling. Learn more about them and pick up your copy of their master pieces.
Aja The Writer
Aja is the writer of passionate women’s fiction. Her stories allow readers to experience realistic, inspiring and soulful interactions between her characters and intense passion between couples overcoming life’s challenges. Her latest release Good Old Soul is book three of her Love & Passion series. Follow her on Social media Amazon Page: https://www.amazon.com/Aja/e/B00K30K138/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aja_thewriter/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThewriterAja FB Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/ajawriter/ Sign up for my mailing list here: http://eepurl.com/cnEs1f
Contributing Writers
Selena Haskins
Meet Selena Haskins is a native Washingtonian whose love for reading and writing started at the tender age of nine. Selena’s greatest loves are God and family and she uses both as the central theme in all of her books. By writing in various genres, particularly, historical fiction, family saga, and romance, Selena’s stories cross the generation lines and bridges the gaps between modern and contemporary fiction. Following the paths of legendary authors who came before her, Selena simply wants to write “good memorable stories that reflect a moral message.” For more about Selena, please visit: Twitter & Instagram: @booksbyselena Facebook: @AuthorSelenaHaskins http://www.booksbyselena.com/
Contributing Writers
Kimberly R. Jasper
Kimberley Jasper is currently an accomplished self-published author of three novels, with the release of her fourth being greatly anticipated. From horror fiction with a mystical twist, to erotic thrillers, she is able to do it all with well-seasoned finesse.
Website: https://mkt.com/krjasperwrites Twitter: @mariasdghtr IG: @krjasperwrites
Contributing Writers
Letrise Carter- Passion & Purpose by Terri Shayne Letrise Carter is a woman who believes in following her passion that led her to purpose. It would be her time when she experienced what most moms experience “emptiness” when her daughter goes off to college. It was time for her to figure out what she wanted to do and how to spend her time now that she is not running her daughter to practice, games, dance, or some event at high school. Letrise pondered questions like “What is my destiny?” and why am I here? For every person trying to figure out their purpose has asked themselves one or both of these questions. For Letrise this would be a journey of discovery as she would get to know who she truly is. Her journey itself is a true testimony that she will have to share one day. Meanwhile, along her journey to her truth Letrise did a lot of praying and invested in reading many self-help books, spiritual empowering books, and books that help you decipher through all the noise to unlock and identify your talents and gifts. It would be a novel by Pastor Toure Roberts “Purpose Awakening” this book would unlock the key to her finding her passion again and then walking into her purpose. As she would discover herself and tap into gifts used 26 years ago as a writer, Letrise launched her first blog Sistah’s Place 4 ½ years ago. The original idea was to just start a blog and be a voice. That was not enough for her to just write about what’s going on in the community, write about relationships, or trending topics in the blog world. Something was hitting her spirit to do more. So, she decided to trust God with her dreams and listen to his voice for direction for the path of what was then a blog to now a magazine. Letrise saw something missing when she was introduced to indie artist in film, theater, and literary world. She realized their voices and gifts needed another light to share their stories to the world. She is determined to have faith of a mustard seed to make Sistah’s Place more than a blog. Her dreams to take Sistah’s Place Globally will happen as this platform has been blessed with many indie, national, and mainstream artist/actors. With her vision set before her, each year Letrise takes a leap of faith to follow her heart and dreams of being a writer, entrepreneur, and woman in media. Her dreams are big.
It takes faith to trust the spirit of God’s voice.
Trust his voice and stay the path.” So watch out. It takes faith to trust the spirit of God’s voice. You have to learn how to discern and recognize God’s voice when you discover who you are. It affects the path he put before you. Letrise has seen the ups and downs along her journey to becoming a published author, a freelance writer, and business woman. She does all this while still working in Corporate America. Why is she still working in Corporate? She has a two year exit plan that will allow her current role to fund her dream. Like many women following their dreams it takes heart and dedication to stay committed to the vision.
“To live the dream you must make A commitment to the vision.” Letrise made the commitment to her vision when she launched Sistah’s Place blog, but that was not enough for the vision God placed in her spirit. She wants Sistah’s Place to shine the light on Indie talent for minority men and women in literary, television, film, and theater. However, she saw another need for her platform. It was more than a blog as it was a voice that had to be bigger which lead to the launching of her Blog Talk Radio show. It was time to reach a bigger audience across the globe. She has always trusted God with her vision and dreams. To live your dreams, you must make a commitment to the vision. When you make the commitment you then give power to the vision. Who would have known what a talk with God one morning would lead Letrise to launching her own business and going back to her first dream twenty-six years ago that she deferred when she became a mother. Look at her now with a new media business called Sistah’s Creative Media birthed from a freelance opportunity with Chicago Indie filmmaker Christopher Nolen. His opportunity lit a fire in her spirit as you might say is symbolic to the burning bush. Her dreams for her media business are so big that at times it scares Letrise. That is why she will continue to trust God through the journey and the process.
Letrise is currently writing book 2 in the “Deceitful Secrets” series and taking screenwriting classes. Who knows what‘s next for Ms. Carter. She has discovered who she is and her purpose. Most importantly she knows who she belongs to and who she trusts.
“God Knows her well and this journey will write its own story.” We look forward to what 2018 and beyond will birth from this talented “Sistah’s” shining the light on others as God directs and guides her footsteps. Her advice to women and dreamers everywhere is to “step out on faith and trust God with your dreams.” Follow Letrise Carter on social media Twitter Facebook @authorLetrise www.Facebook.com/authorLetriseCarter @Sistahsplace2 www.Facebook.com/sistahsplace @SisCreative16 www.Facebook.com/sistahcreativemedia Websites: www.letrisecarter.com www.sistahsplace.com www.sistahscreativemedia.com www.blogtalkradio.com/sistahsplace Photographs credits: Good Life Media Make-up: Simone Carter Hair: Heavenly Creations –Antwonette Wright Book cover Design by: Ty Webbin Creations, LLC About Writer: Terri Shayne is a freelance writer who ghost writes as journalist for several digital and print magazine & newspapers. Twitter: @TerriShayne
Small Business spotlight feature-Kennedy’s Sweet Tooth by Letrise Carter Our small business spotlight feature for the month of May is Kennedy’s Sweet Tooth out of Atlanta, Georgia. The owners is Jeanee Patton a woman with a gift of making your mouth water and savor each bite of Kennedy’s Sweet Tooth deserts and special southern entrees. The business has been around since 2009 and continuously adding to the menu to give her customers more gourmet flavor and a variety of sweet treats. We talked with Jeanee about her gifts and her business. She has always had a love affair with baking and it all started with her first Easy Bake Oven. This would be the beginning of something beautiful the day Jeanee realized her passion for baking. Like many women, she watched he grandmothers in the kitchen whipping up their specialties. She would often help them prepare different meals and desserts for the family. We asked Jeanee, What is Kennedy’s sweet Tooth? Kennedy’s Sweet Tooth is a place where your imagination can come alive and your sweet tooth is truly satisfied. We use fresh ingredients to offer a large selection in Plain Jane, Chic & Classy, and Grown & Sexy flavored cakes.
Now you’re probably wondering what all that means. Well, Plain Jane cakes are your more traditional flavors such as your chocolate, butter (yellow), and vanilla. Chic & Classy are the more decadent and more gourmet flavored cakes such as the Orange Dreamsicle, Banana Pudding, or Neapolitan. Now, my favorite is the Grown & Sexy. These cakes are infused with alcoholic beverages such as Fuzzy Navel, Mimosa, and Mudslide. You can think of it as Happy Hour without the glass. Kennedy’s Sweet Tooth also offers cookies, cake pops, brownies, cheesecakes, pies, and candy.
As with any business, customers will have their favorite dessert and menu items. Jeanee says, the Sweet Potato Dream cake, Black-Like-Me and Red Velvet are three of my most requested desserts. The Sweet Potato Dream cake has been coined “crack cake” by its loyal customers who claim it’s addictive upon first bite. The Black Like Me cake is sinfully delicious. And of course, Red Velvet is a popular choice in the south. It’s like ordering sweet tea at your favorite southern restaurant. It’s a southern thang! Although these are her most requested, customers love the banana pudding, brownies, apple pie and pound cakes. As you can tell, Kennedy’s Sweet Tooth provides the sweet tooth with a variety of choices to satisfy all. Small Business Feature spotlight
We had to ask Jeanee, what is her favorite dish to prepare? Jeanee love helping customers think outside of the normal flavors and helping them to create flavors that will tie into their theme for their event. She loves preparing cakes and decorating them. It’s where your creativity comes alive and you are able to showcase your true talent.
Outside of her baking skills, Jeanee love preparing different types of pasta dishes. Southern cuisine and Louisiana inspired dishes are also some of my favorite dishes to make. A sistah can throw down in the kitchen!
Small Business Feature spotlight
Running a small business can be tough but when you trust the process and believe in God’s direction for your purpose, talent, and gifts. You push forward. We asked Jeanee, what makes Kennedy’s Sweet Tooth unique from other bakeries in Atlanta, Georgia? She believes that we are in a new age now; many customers are looking for the "wow factor". You know The Plain Jane cakes are fine, but she thinks customers are looking for something outside of the norm. Something that’s pretty, but tastes just as good as it looks. This is where her large variety of gourmet flavored cakes keeps her customers drooling over the combinations. Jeanee is not afraid to combine flavors to create cake flavors not typically offered by other Cake Artist. She offers all of these gourmet flavors to her customers that make her stand apart from her competitors.
Small Business Feature spotlight
Being a female entrepreneur comes with many obstacles in itself. Add to the fact that she is an African American female entrepreneur creates another set of obstacles to deal with. Although these obstacles do exist, it should never define who you are and what success means to you. No one will fight harder for your dream than you will. We asked Jeanee to give us a few key examples that women face running a business. Key obstacles faced by Female Entrepreneurs:
Lack of Funding/Access to Capital Balancing Family life vs Business Building the right support team Battling negative stereotypes Fear of failure
Obstacles build muscle. It helps us become more confident in whom we are and we learn to fight for what we want. Either you are going to be defeated by what you perceive as a mountain or you are going to learn how to climb it one step at a time. The choice is yours. Being a business owner can be lonely sometimes. No one will care for your business baby as much as you will. Learn to stand on your own two feet and keep pushing. It won’t be easy and the road is paved with hard knocks. Guess what? Nothing worth having is ever easy. How bad do you want it? That will be your drive to continue on even if you continue to get knocked down. Vet out true mentors and a support team who can truly help guide you on your journey. A strong support team can help keep you motivated and encouraged when it seems overwhelming. Remember their job is to help guide you, but the hard work comes from you. Never give up or compare your business to anyone else’s progress. You don’t know their struggle or sacrifices to get where they are. Stay in your lane and work on your brand and focus on your success. Enjoy some of Kennedy’s Sweet Tooth’s menu items. Place your order today with one of Atlanta’s Gourmet treats that will savor each sweet tooth. She can be reached by email me at kennedyssweettooth@yahoo.com or call/text 678-242-9629. Social Media
Facebook - Kennedy's Sweet Tooth Instagram - kennedyssweettooth Twitter - brownsugarcaker Pinterest - Kennedy's Sweet Tooth
Small Business Feature spotlight
Small Business Feature spotlight
All photo’s courtesy of Kennedy’s Sweet Tooth
Small Business Feature spotlight
Sistah’s Creative Media The mission of Sistah’s Creative media is to create awareness and exposure about your brand, project, or business across multiple digital, media, and print platforms not limited to social media. Letrise Carter- “We are a vision driven business. We have a team and partnered small business that believes in our clients’ dreams and vision. “
Media Branding Public Relations Services Social Media Management Promotion & Advertisement Services Website Service
Inquire today at info@sistahscreativemedia.com Visit website at www.sistahscreativemedia.com
#METOO by Selena Haskins
Rape, sexual assault, violate, harass, are all words that sound just as cruel as the actions behind them. What about the phrase “Me Too?” Well, this phrase was created by actress, Alyssa Milano as a way for women to stop suffering in silence if they are raped, sexually assaulted, harassed, or violated. It was also created as way to empower women through empathy. The Me Too Movement was sparked after sexual allegations against entertainment mogul, Harvey Weinstein, who is the co-founder of Miramax Entertainment Group. This encouraged other women to come forward, and many other men of prominence were accused of sexual harassment. Some have said that the Me Too Movement is a hashtag fad for women to make accusations that aren’t true. Whether the accusations are true or not, awareness of sexual misconduct is viewed in a more serious light than it has been in the past. For years, groping a woman’s private parts or tapping her on the behind was viewed as harmless flirting. Many women ignored the man’s inappropriate conduct, feeling that no one would believe them or do anything about it, especially if the man was in a powerful position. Long before the Me Too Movement, the first woman to publicly spearhead the fight against sexual harassment was Attorney, Anita Hill. Hill accused Associate Judge of the Supreme Court, Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment in 1991. For many years women like Hill stood alone in their fight for justice. Women who were victims of sexual harassment went home and cried in the dark, only to start a new day as if nothing had ever happened the day before. Now in the new millennium, victims feel the sentiments behind Oprah Winfrey’s words during her acceptance speech at the Emmy Awards, “Enough is enough!” Backing women like Anita Hill and others, Oprah Winfrey also spoke for the women who had no voice or whose cries for help were often ignored. No doubt millions of viewers who watched the Emmy Awards that night, could sense a change would come. That change would start with Congresswoman Jackie Speier submitting a bill to Congress called, the Me Too Act of Congress.
The effects of the Me Too Movement have significantly changed the institution beyond legislation since it’s initiative by Congresswoman Speier. There’s been a shift in the tides as corporate America is also being driven to stop sweeping such critical matters as harassment under a rug or turning a blind eye to someone admitting they have been harassed. Still, more change is needed. Awareness training of sexual harassment in the workplace is helpful. However, accountability is the key to a change in thought and behaviors. According to an article by Fairygodboss, it said that men need to step up to the plate and hold each other responsible in preventing any kind of violation against women. The article further states: Men are raised in a society that teaches boys that they are entitled to have access to women’s bodies. You may not be drugging women’s drinks in a nightclub, you may not be stalking sex workers in a van, but you have probably pressured someone sexually more than once in your life…. for this to happen in the masses is truly unprecedented. And following the surge of #MeToo posts, some men seem determined to make that happen. The Me Too Movement is for all victims of harassment regardless of gender, race or sexual orientation. If you’re a victim who has been violated, be courageous and speak your truth today! Don’t wait! About the Writer Meet Selena Haskins is a native Washingtonian whose love for reading and writing started at the tender age of nine. Selena’s greatest loves are God and family and she uses both as the central theme in all of her books. By writing in various genres, particularly, historical fiction, family saga, and romance, Selena’s stories cross the generation lines and bridges the gaps between modern and contemporary fiction. Following the paths of legendary authors who came before her, Selena simply wants to write “good memorable stories that reflect a moral message.”
For more about Selena, please visit: Twitter & Instagram: @booksbyselena Facebook: @AuthorSelenaHaskins http://www.booksbyselena.com/
Life With Two Large Sides of Passion and Love by Aja Passion is defined as strong and barely controllable emotion. Love can be defined as an intense feeling of deep affection.
From the age of about five years old until we complete our formal education, many of us spend our time learning how to live a life without passion. Schooling, and the discipline that comes along with it, tells us to not feel but to do and furthermore, how to do it. We are taught very early on that by following a certain path, taking certain jobs and devoting ourselves to certain activities, we will one day become successful and that successful-ness is measured by how much money we make and by what kinds of things we have. Very few people, who indoctrinated us into this thinking, check up on us when we reach full adulthood to find out how happy we are. If they happen to see us, they ask us what we do for a living or where we live and, “oh girl is that your car?” But are they asking us if we are happy? Likely not. And even if they did notice the absence of the sparkle in our eyes, they wouldn’t question it… not if we’ve gained that “success”. Matter of fact, I was at the grocery store a couple of years ago and ran into the parents of a boy I went to school with. He was a couple years behind me but the catholic grade school I attended was small, so everyone knew everyone, and they knew me to be the smart and ambitious girl at that school. After asking how my mother was, they wanted to know what I did for a living. I paused. Do I share what I do for a passionate living or should I share what I’ve done for a great paycheck for over a decade. I shared I was an author. Blank stare. They went on and on about how their son was this and how he had a house here and so on and so forth. I was happy for him. Really, I was, but I wasn’t sure whether he was living a good life or whether he just had good “things”. In the end that doesn’t matter does it? At least not to me. I have to concern myself with whether the life I’m living is full of passion, and the why to that is that passion drives my excitement over it. It makes each morning I wake up, a great day to be living. I feel the abundance of what life, and more importantly what God the Father, has given me. The creativity that surges inside of me, and the release of it when I sit down to write; those things make me happy. That’s a good life to me. Oh, I fully understand needing to work in jobs that pay the bills. I have bills to pay, children to feed, gifts to buy my husband and other loved ones on occasion. I know about responsibility. So I would never encourage anyone to go hungry in order to fuel and feed passion but is there a way to do both? And maybe we should take an assessment of what are goals are in life and what will
make us ultimately happy. I suspect it’s a balance of both as it is for me. To have enough business/financial success so that I can continue to live with passion and purpose. Broadly, I write women’s fiction. Specifically, I write romance. I shared that because My first concern is with women and our issues… and then I entertain readers with the goodness that comes with being in love and living in love. But additionally, one of the lessons I’m teaching my characters, whether I’m doing so consciously or not, is to experience passion in their lives. To feel emotion, to embrace it, to act with it while they take their brain along with them. I want my heroines to experience the world around them not just with their partners that I’ve written them but also within their careers, with their families and their friends. I want the men in their lives, to know and understand the gift they’ve been given by having this passionate, sexy and loving woman in their lives. I want them to feel intense emotion over that and be willing to protect her, to love her, to honor her. That is passion for me. Not obligation, not making money moves, and definitely not settling for what just makes sense. But passion-filled LOVE. I’d love to hear from you about what living with passion means to you and how you’re living with it or how you dream of it. Follow me somewhere and message me. I’d be happy to hear from you. About Writer
Aja is the writer of passionate women’s fiction. Her stories allow readers to experience realistic, inspiring and soulful interactions between her characters and intense passion between couples overcoming life’s challenges. Her latest release Good Old Soul is book three of her Love & Passion series.
Amazon Page: https://www.amazon.com/Aja/e/B00K30K138/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aja_thewriter/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThewriterAja FB Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/ajawriter/ Sign up for my mailing list here: http://eepurl.com/cnEs1f
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FIVE WAYS TO TELL IF HE’S SERIOUS ABOUT THE NEXT LEVEL by Kimberly R. Jasper
Feature Photo credit: http://melissasatti.com/counseling/individuals-seeking-healthyrelationships/ As women, we are constantly being bombarded with advice by experts, life coaches, motivational speakers, family and friends, all with rules and lists of do’s and don’ts for relationships. While I do not claim to be an expert by any means, I too, have given my own lists, just trying to shed light on what it is that we don’t know about love & relationships. We don’t know whether to make the first move or sit back and let him find us. We’re not sure whether to make him wait 90 days for benefits or give it up when we feel like it. It can be very hard to remember all of the rules we’re supposed to follow and downright confusing at best. All in all, the one thing I’ve found to be consistent is that there are no rules. There is no magic wand to wave, or potion to drink to make your man act right or get serious. But there are things that you can do to simplify the relationship and level the playing field. The thing is, if a man wants you, he’s coming for you. He’s pursuing you, he’s following through, he’s communicating, and he’s progressing the relationship forward with an ending that leads to a ring on your finger. If he’s not doing these things, chances are, he’s just playing games with you and only has the intention of wasting your time. I don’t know about you, but when I date, it’s with purpose; my relationship needs to be going somewhere or I need not be in it. If you like playing games, then this article is not for you. But if you are dating with intent and want to know if you should stay the course or cut him loose, pay just as much attention to what he’s not saying as you do to what he is. Here are five ways to tell if he’s serious and wants to take it to the next level or if he just wants to waste your time.
1.
CHECK HIS FRIEND ZONE
When it comes to other women, we can usually tell right away who is being real and who isn’t, who is wishing for the demise of the relationship and who’s rooting for its success. So, when he says “friend”, he should be speaking about the kind that are supportive of him and his relationship, not ex-flames and former “friends with benefits”. It’s perfectly okay for him to have friends of the opposite sex, but if his “friends” consists mainly of single females swarming like sharks out for blood, trust me, you’ll find yourself among them one day. And maybe that’s the plan. Maybe he’s just going around befriending a bevy of beautiful women for his collection, and you’re next. Believe me when I say, that is not the company you want to be in. Leave him and his legion of extraordinary females alone. 2.
HE HAS ZERO FOLLOW THROUGH
A good man’s actions will always line up with his words, even down to the simplest thing. When he says he’s going to call you back, you should expect him to do it. If he consistently “forgets” or is always “too busy”, that’s your cue to leave him to his business. If you are on a man’s mind, he’s going to call you, he’s going to make contact in some way. No exceptions. He can realize his shortcomings and promise you he’ll do better, but if he doesn’t follow through with effective change, then it’s all just talk. And talk is indeed very cheap. It will cost him nothing to give you his time, attention, loyalty, and love. If he has a million reasons why he can’t, then hit him with the “K” and keep it moving. How he feels about you should be revealed in his actions. One day, he’s treating you like you’re the only woman in the world, and the next, he acts like he doesn’t know you. One day, he’s telling the world about you, the next, you’re a ghost. If he says he feels a certain way about you, but your relationship isn’t progressing to the next level, it’s just his way of stalling. It’s his way of saying he is not as interested in moving forward as you are, or as invested as you are in the relationship. If a guy is serious about you, and serious about making you a bigger part of his life, he’s going to make you a priority, he’s going to make time for you no matter what’s on his schedule. Men really aren’t that complicated, there are no secret messages to decode. If he’s not following through with actions that back up the words that are coming out of his mouth, then he’s saying loud and clear that he has no plans to follow through with taking it to the next level. 3.
HE’S STILL FLIRTING WITH OTHER WOMEN
I don’t mean when he flashes a smile, or waves hello at a woman. Maybe it’s not flirtation at all, maybe he’s just being sociable. No matter where he goes, he has no trouble smiling and chatting with strangers. Some guys just like to charm the world, and it really doesn’t mean anything other than that they have a friendly personality. I’m not talking about that guy. I’m talking about the guy that showers other women with the same kind of attention he gives you. There’s a difference between being friendly and being flirty. Pay attention to how he looks at other women; never underestimate the importance of eye contact. If he seems to give the eye to every woman he sees, don’t take him seriously. There is a certain look that should be reserved just for you. How is it special if every woman gets it?
You should also be aware of his online behavior. If he’s being secretive on social media and texting other women, that’s a definite red flag because if he acts like he has something to hide, then he probably does. To most, social media is no big deal, and it shouldn’t really be a factor in your relationship. But if you find that he posts every day about everything except you, there is a reason for his omission. If he’s not ready to let other women know that he’s in a relationship with you, then he’s still trying to keep his options open.
4.
LISTEN TO WHAT HE’S SAYING
Men usually say exactly what they mean, unlike women, they don’t drop hints and they are not very subtle. The ugly truth is that when a guy says he doesn’t want a relationship, he means it. If he tells you that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, has “commitment issues”, or that he hates labels, just take it at face value and move on. I know you may think that you’re the exception to the rule, but I promise that is not the case. There is no such thing as a “situationship”. You’re either in a relationship or not, there is no in between. Listen carefully to what he’s saying to you. The word “but” always negates the former in a sentence. If he says, “I like you, but…” pay close attention to what comes after “but” because that’s the real truth right there. “I like you, but I’m not ready for a relationship.” Women hear “I like you” and want to ignore the rest of the sentence, but that is a big mistake. If he says he wants to get married “someday”, but always puts off setting a date or discussing a time frame, he has no intention of taking it to the next level…at least not with you. Listen to the whole sentence, take it at face value, and proceed accordingly. “I’ll propose to you when…”, it really doesn’t matter what he says after this because if it’s not “marry me” followed by a specific date or time frame, it’s probably not going to happen. As soon as he gets a promotion, as soon as he has more money in the bank, as soon as he can afford a real nice ring, as soon as both of you are financially stable, the list can go on and on, and it will. But they are all excuses, just more reasons why he won’t take the relationship to the next level. Listen carefully and move on to your next level without him. 5.
HE’S STILL ACTING SINGLE
Let me be clear, there is a big distinction between being “private” and being “secretive”. If he downplays your relationship when people ask about it and doesn’t really seem all that proud to be your man, it is a definite red flag. When a man is truly in love, he’ll want to show you off. He’ll proudly display his affection, even if it sounds corny. He will parade you around his family and friends, happily displaying his “off the market” status. If he treats you one way in private and another in public, he is not protecting his privacy, he’s hiding his status. Why? Because he still wants to appear single so that he can keep his options open. Never be an option in a relationship where you should be the choice. In order to make a relationship work, there are certain behaviors that have to change. He can’t act single behind your back and sustain an honest relationship with you, he will certainly find it hard to remain loyal. If he’s hungering for attention from someone other than you, he’s essentially sending out a distress signal, and relaying a message to other women.
Coming and going as you please is fine if you’re single, and of course there should be freedom in any relationship, but he should still check in with you out of respect when he’s out. It’s just a common courtesy. You should never have to worry about where he is or who he’s with. The same goes for his online behavior. If he’s hiding his status on social media, reconnecting with old flames, posting inappropriate pictures, or making inappropriate comments to other women, he’s playing with fire and your relationship. His actions on or off line should reflect his desire to be with you and continue taking your relationship to the next level, no matter what stage that happens to be. If not, you might as well just let him be single for real. So there you have it. Just five of the many signs that he’s not serious about taking the relationship to the next level. Some may not apply to you or your relationship, but it’s always good to know in case they ever do. Never settle for anything less than what you really want. Know your worth and add taxes to it. It’s better to be alone than to stay with someone who isn’t willing to give you what you deserve in a relationship.
About the Author: Kimberley Jasper is pursuing her Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from the University of Houston. She is currently an accomplished self-published author of three novels, with the release of her fourth being greatly anticipated. From horror fiction with a mystical twist, to erotic thrillers, she is able to do it all with well-seasoned finesse. Kimberley gives every genre of her writing the same drive and devotion. Formerly a public-speaker, she still mentors women of all ages with a series entitled “A Woman’s Work”. She is a returning freelance writer for Sistah’s Place and formerly Urban Image Magazine.
Website: https://mkt.com/krjasperwrites Twitter: @mariasdghtr IG: @krjasperwrites
Books to Read by New Author Letrise Carter
Meet Devin. He’s handsome, successful and has a beautiful wife, who is equally accomplished. Devin’s lifestyle is one any man would dream of but he’s not content. He has an appetite for women that his wife alone cannot curb. But soon, his playboy antics has him buried deep in a blackmail scandal and the only person who can fix it, is the one person who can destroy his life. Taylor couldn’t ask for anything more. She has a wonderful life. From the outside, all seems perfect but Taylor is harboring a secret that could end her marriage… and his name is Kelly. Available on Amazon Please visit: www.Letrisecarter.com and coming soon book series website www.deceitfulsecrets.com
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