VOLUME 12 - ISSUE 12 / FEBRUARY 2017
Pictured (left to right): Dr. Daniel Andrews, Medical Director Emily Jones Program Director Samantha McCoy Center Manager
Special Feature: Celebrating 5 Years! INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
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M
essage
from the
By Judy Smith
T
hou shalt not covet. Do you realize that is a COMMAND? It is not a suggestion. So the big question is: Who can keep it? Seriously, think about that. I am coveting right now just thinking about that Million Dollars you have that I wish I had. If you wanted to give me yours, I am pretty sure I would take it but then I would probably just covet someone elses Million Dollars. Alright, maybe I am not coveting your million, but I covet all the time. That is just one of the things I do that does not please God. I think about the rich young ruler in the bible that asked Jesus what he had to do to inherit eternal life? Jesus told him that he knew the commandments. Then the rich man said the strangest thing. He said “all these I have kept from my youth up.” (Luke 18) Talk about arrogance. Let’s give him the benefit of doubt for a moment. Nah, we cannot do that. Even if he kept half of them; he didn’t kill anyone, he didn’t steal, he didn’t take the Lord’s name in vain and maybe one or two more. To say he did not covet, well, that is just not right. Just because he was rich does not mean he never yearned for what someone else had. Yet, I am not talking about him...I am talking about me. The real me. Have you ever heard this prayer.....
Dear Lord, So far I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I’m really glad about that. But in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of bed. And from then on, I’m going to need a lot more help.
This is me. Getting out of bed is a great thing and I thank God for it every day He allows me to. Yet, a day does not go by that I could honestly say I did not do something displeasing to God. I gossiped about something, or coveted someones perfect teeth or maybe the job they had. I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father does not send a lightning bolt to strike me down every time I do something that is not pleasing to Him. He is long-suffering and yes, I wish I was too. He is unconditional in His love and yes, I wish I was also. How about you? I will pray for you and I ask that you pray for me. The most important thing is we don’t have to be perfect to go to Heaven. We just have to be forgiven and God is perfect at doing that. WHATEVER your past, WHATEVER your sin, God is waiting to forgive...as long as you have breath. I will not covet your second chance because I have had that and then some.
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” ― Glen Cook
Judy Smith : Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Child of God Inspirational & Motivational Speaker with a little humor thrown in for good measure. judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3
S
phie Woman’s Magazine
Contents Message from the Heart
3
Reaching Your Full Potential
6
Sophisticated Women
8
Girlfriends in God
10
Me, Myself, & Inc.
14 16
By: Judy Smith
By: Kim Fletcher
P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122
Production & Design Manager: Scott Hansley
Sales:
Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com
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By: Nicole Greer
By: Mary Southerland
By: Sherre Demao
PACE@Home: Celebrating 5 Years
by Judy Smith
He Said, She Said
20
Love Carries No Labels
22
Live God’s Word
24
Ponder Truth
26
Vanilla Cookies for Your Valentine
30
By: David & Amy Washco
By: Jan McCanless
By: Nina Heck
Published by:
M arketQuest Media, LLC
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For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com or call 828-466-0122 ************************************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************************************************************
pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Change Your New Year By Omitting Your Blind Spots
by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author
“Coaching is an emerging right brained approach that sees relationships as more important than tasks, significance as more important than success, stories as more important than strategies, experiences as more important than rule books, people as more important than institutions, soaring with strengths as more important than ‘problem solving’.”
- George Bullard
The ball falls, you kiss the one closest to you… then you make your resolutions. For many, that is the way the New Year begins. •
When you make a New Year’s Resolution, do you believe you will KEEP IT?
•
What PERCENTAGE of your resolutions have become reality?
I believe people make resolutions out of a strong desire to be better and to live better. I also believe that most who make them really do believe they will come to pass. That leads us to the perplexing question that must be asked: WHY DO WE NOT KEEP THOSE SIMPLE COMMITMENTS WE MAKE TO OURSELVES? While some may abandon these commitments simply because they get lazy or distracted, I believe there is a deeper reason that hinders our success. A few years back, in an effort to begin my New Year with true transformation that I could possess for myself and also pass along to my clients and friends, I attended a conference entitled “New Beginnings.” One of the speakers simply stated, “We cannot change on the outside what we cannot engineer on the inside.” Lance Wallnau Most resolutions deal with an external or superficial goal that fails to connect with our need for something new to be engineered deep within. Many of my clients make this mistake in their own lives, pressing toward their vision outwardly while a glaring issue that needs their attention is being ignored or missed altogether. Herein lies one of our greatest challenges… there are ‘hidden areas’ deep within each of us that have the power to keep us from succeeding at achieving the simplest of goals. Once of my clients recently shared, “It is like there is a disconnect deep within myself that I cannot get in touch with.” That statement got me thinking and then Lance hit it. He began sharing about what he calls our BLINDSPOT. I began to realize
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
that this BLINDSPOT is what keeps many of us from breaking free into true transformation. Our blindspots must be detected and omitted before we can be forerunners, creating lasting change in life. But first, we must understand what this BLINDSPOT really is. Lance described the blindspot this way… This is the place beyond our conscious mind where we need discernment to ‘see.’ In fact, without God’s help, it may be impossible to get in touch with this area within ourselves. This is the place where we have held onto past hurts, failures, disappointments and vowed to ‘never be hurt again.’ These are mental strongholds that we first create as defense mechanisms, only to find that they develop their own voices and begin speaking lies and negativity into our lives. A few of my clients have been plagued with an inner voice echoing beliefs including: “You are not smart enough, strong enough, beautiful enough.” “The only way to keep from being hurt is to keep others out.” “You will never succeed.” The simple definition of a stronghold is a walled city or fortress. In ancient times, cities had to be ‘walled in’ to keep the enemy and danger out. Only one problem lies in putting up walls that keep bad things out. That same act also walls us in and keeps good from flowing freely out of our lives. Strongholds become part of our belief system and distort our thinking. We need to be renewed “in the spirit of our minds”, those areas that lie beyond our conscious thinking. (Eph. 4:23) Take a few moments today and ask God to reveal any hidden areas within you that need to be replaced with truth and love. Begin by considering areas where you may be holding grudges or judgments against others or yourself. Be gentle with yourself as you journey to deeper self discovery and omit your blindspots as they are revealed to you. And remember to allow your trusted supports to journey with you. You just may find yourself keeping those 2017 resolutions while also finding far deeper significance, peace and success along the way!
Are you ready for transformation in 2017? For a FREE COPY of her eBook titled The Tension Point, email Kim directly: kimfletchercoach@gmail. com. (Signed hard copies also available for purchase) Kim Fletcher is a Transformational Life Coach, Speaker and Author who seeks to bring freedom and fulfillment to her clients. Her highest goal is teaching individuals and groups to ‘coach themselves to greater success’ by living and working aligned with your unique values and vision.
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S
ophisticated
Women... Love as a Form of Art By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
Art is an expression of the artist. At the heart of the artist is a sincere desire to communicate. The same applies to someone who loves. When an individual expresses their appreciation, desire, or heart, the world becomes more beautiful. Vincent van Gogh agreed when he stated, “I feel there is nothing more artistic than loving people.” The sophisticated woman embraces this ideal becoming an artist with love as her medium.
Here are four strategies for making love a form of art Begin by loving yourself first. Lucille Ball stated, “Love yourself first, and everything falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Loving yourself is acknowledging that you have talent, gifts, and skills that the world needs. Next, you frame this knowledge as a responsibility. Don’t miss that. You respond to your abilities. You find a way to engage the world using your talent to shine! When you put your talent to work, the world sees your genius. It loves you! This is the point where “everything falls into line.” You’ll find yourself as Lucille says, ‘getting things done.’ Your love for yourself essentially loves others. Give feedback when you love the qualities you see in others. Stop finding fault, pointing out shortcomings, and critiquing others. Ruthie Lindsay, challenges us, “If you see something beautiful in someone speak it.” My father had this habit. If he thought the waitress was good at her job, he said so. If he witnessed a child exhibiting their smarts, he would speak directly to the child celebrating their behavior. If he had a stellar experience, he filled out the comment card. I treasure that I was able to witness this behavior, this art form, his love. Be the love you never received. My mother died when I was eight years old. I never really knew her and truth be pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
told this empty place in my life robbed me of a mother’s love. Until, I met Ann Starrette. At age 42, Ann became my mentor and role model. She never had a child. Together we have been the love to each other that we never received. Do everything with a good heart and expect nothing in return and you will never be disappointed. I shared this before, and I will share it again. Don Carroll, a coach and spiritual director who I work along side in the School of the Spirit, shared in a retreat, “Un-communicated expectations are a premeditated opportunity to be disappointed.” This statement has resonated with me at a deep level ever since I heard it. I have been deeply disappointed when others have not loved me, or loved as deeply as me, or loved as passionately as me. I humbly confess that I have wasted an enormous amount of time and energy wallowing in my disappointment. I have “should” on people. I have hated people. (Don’t miss that! It is the exact opposite of LOVE!) And, I have shut people out of my life because I expected that they would reciprocate my love. What a waste…when I could have shined brighter and created art. As Jennifer Pastiloff states, “When I get to the end of my life, and I ask one final “What have I done?” Let my answer be, “I have done love.” My epitaph will be, She was an artist.
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com and www.thelydiagroup.com
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The Wonder of You! by Mary Southerland
Today’s Truth
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. Proverbs 25:11
Friend to Friend
Fruit is one of my favorite foods. When I go grocery shopping, it always takes me longer to get through the fruit section than any other area of the store. I spend what some might consider a ridiculously long time picking out what I hope will be the juiciest apples, the plumpest grapes and the sweetest bananas. Experience has taught me to quickly discard any piece of fruit that is bruised, mushy or discolored. I shake cantaloupe and thump watermelons. Ripe strawberries have a unique sweet scent and only the reddest cherries will do. Plums and tomatoes must be firm to the touch, bright in color and wrinkle-free while the more wrinkles the better when it comes to choosing passion fruit. On a recent trip to the grocery store, I was carefully making my fruit selections when the thought occurred to me that I spend more time choosing fruit than I spend choosing my words. Words are power tools that can build and encourage. Words can also destroy and cause confusion. We have all been hurt and even defeated by words spoken in anger or words rising out of a wounded and bitter heart. The words we speak can clarify or complicate a situation. Solomon offers great wisdom concerning the use of words. Whoever controls his mouth protects his own life. Whoever has a big mouth comes to ruin (Proverbs 13:3 GWT). If we do not learn to use and control our tongue, it will use and control us. While it is true that we need to choose our words carefully, it is just as true that the tongue is a spiritual thermometer that reflects the condition of the heart. I am not a good patient and tend to think that most medical rules apply to everyone else in my life – but not to me. Several years ago, I was slammed with a high fever and blinding headache that sent me to bed for days, something highly unusual for me. I called my doctor. When he heard my symptoms, he told me to come in immediately. The minute I walked in his office, the receptionist waved me back to the patient area where a nurse promptly escorted me to an examination room, hurriedly recorded my symptoms, took my temperature, glanced briefly at my throat and quickly left the room. Minutes later, the doctor and a nurse walked in and stood on the opposite side of the room, almost smiling at me. At this point, I realized that whatever I had was highly contagious and probably fatal. I felt so awful that the latter was definitely appealing.
pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
“Mary, I am almost certain you have viral meningitis,” the doctor said. Seeing the blank look on my face, he explained, “Your abnormally high fever of 104 and severe headache are classic symptoms of meningitis, but we need to run some tests to verify my suspicions. Oh, and by the way, how long have you had the solid white coating on your tongue?” I was stunned. What coating? Why is the color of my tongue even important in determining my illness? The doctor continued, “The health of the tongue is a very strong indicator of the health of the entire body.” The same is true when it comes to the words we speak. The mouth speaks the things that are in the heart. Good people have good things in their hearts, and so they say good things. But evil people have evil in their hearts, so they say evil things (Matthew 12:34-35, NCV). If my words are boastful, my heart is insecure. If my words are filthy, my heart is impure. If my words are critical, my heart is filled with pride and anger. In other words, the problem is not really my mouth – it’s my heart. The words I speak reflect the true condition of my heart. Careless words can cause such grief. Unless strained through discipline and holiness, words can convey false perspectives and untruths. However, the right word, spoken at the right time and in the right way can bring order in the midst of confusion and light on a very dark path. Let’s make the commitment to speak life into every person we meet.
Let’s Pray
Father, I can be so careless with the words I speak. Forgive me. Please help me learn how to control my tongue. Create in me a clean heart, God, so that I can speak words filled with grace and love. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Read Colossians 4:6. Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone. How would you describe words that are “gracious?” How can our words be “effective” in the lives of others? What do you think Paul means when he says that we can have the “right answer for everyone?”
More from the Girlfriends
It is sometimes harder to control the words we say when we are dealing with people who rub us the wrong way. I call them Sandpaper People. If you need help with the tough relationships in your life, get Mary’s book, Sandpaper People. This book can revolutionize your relationships. Be sure to check out the FREE MP3s on Mary’s website and connect with Mary through email or on Facebook.
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pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
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Is life getting in the way of You?
Simple emotional things you can do right now include:
In this month of loving and appreciating others, how well are you doing at loving and appreciating yourself? Are you a priority at all, or only when a million others things are handled or done, leaving you last on the list?
•
Most likely, you were also among those desiring more balance in your life as a part of your resolutions for this year. The problem with this desire is that you are your own worse enemy in allowing it to be. Partially out of guilt, and partially out of obligations that are tugging at you, you profess to want balance, and yet are the one responsible for not having it.
•
As many who have read this column for years know, balance is not the way to approach honoring you in your own life. What it takes is recognizing and nurturing all the aspects of you that need to be fulfilled, versus focusing upon all the aspects outside of you that are demanding more and more from you. Reconnecting physically: How well are you taking care of your physical wellbeing? How are you nurturing and invigorating your body to be this amazing temple that helps you combat stress, rewards you with more energy, and calms you with moments of relaxation and appreciation.
Reconnecting passionately: Do you get excited about anything any more? Are you doing anything that brings you joy, that you love to do, that inspires or fulfills your soul and inner spirit? Are you playing at all in your life, or is life playing you? When you have something to be passionate about, if can feel like playing because you enjoy it so much. Simple passionate things you can do right now include: • •
Simple physical things you can do right now are: • •
• •
Smile, and literally feel how your body feels by the simple act of smiling. Then think of what makes you smile and allow this thought to be a moment of escape. Stretch like a cat waking up. Arms stretched over your head, legs stretched forward from the side of your bed, allow every muscle to feel that stretch from head to toe. Feel how great it feels to awaken each muscle like this. Breathe in deep and intently, and then blow it out slow and calmly. Savor good, healthy food — every morsel enjoyed in your mouth with total focus on its aroma, flavor, texture and goodness.
Reconnecting emotionally: Are relationships that matter being pushed to the side for relationships that are not fulfilling or gratifying? Do you spend no time to yourself to simply be still and present in a way that is nurturing to you? Do you have things that are pent up inside that are simmering or perhaps about to bubble and burst to the surface?
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
Start a gratitude journal, and make your first entries about what you most appreciate about being you and the people you most appreciate being in your life.Reach out to a friend you have not connected with in a while. Get together, and make it a priority for you. Disconnect from people that are draining you. Not so simple you say? Start with just giving yourself permission not to jump to attention or to say yes to a request that is not really serving you. Saying “no” is empowering.
•
Remember the things you loved doing as a child. Pick one of them and plan to do it. Start with something simple and perhaps a little silly, like twirling around or coloring or doodling. Light some candles, put on your favorite music, move your body and all the better if there is someone special in your life to join you. Write whatever it is that would simply delight and thrill you to be doing, or to get to do if you could. Then choose one and identify a step you could take. Then take that step.
As this year gets well underway, reconnect with yourself and make you a priority in small ways to start and then in more substantial ways moving forward. You deserve the very best of you, just like everyone else does.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
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PACE@HOME
The Celebration of Commitment for Over 5 Years! What is PACE@HOME? It is NOT what most people think. When you ask that question, most often you will hear “it’s an adult day care center”. Yes, it is that but it is SO MUCH MORE. PACE@Home is a Program of All-inclusive Care for the Elderly that allows individuals in need of skilled nursing home care to remain in their home or community setting. PACE@Home is a voluntary, medical/social-based model of care for those who are eligible. From the day they opened their doors with one participant on January 2012 to the celebration of their 5th year with over 250 participants, you will find one thing that has not changed, that is their commitment to their mission statement which is : pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
THE CHAMPION FOR SENIORS WISHING TO REMAIN IN THEIR COMMUNITY
As I was waiting for my appointment with the Director, I was captivated by all the activities going on. There were all sorts of things going on from reading and watching TV to therapy and exercise. Most important though, there was constant interaction between the staff and the participants. The main thing I noticed was that you did not see them being pushed into a room and left sitting there. They were being engaged, called by names, asked if they needed anything to drink or a snack. They were being ASKED what they would like to do. Even the few that just wanted to watch TV were being treated with such care to make sure the channel was what they wanted, but most importantly, being loved and well taken care of. With PACE, you have a community-based program that means exactly that. It is a “village of services” around the individual through the services provided in-home, at the PACE center and with other contracted providers. Their overall objective is to allow each senior to achieve the highest quality of life possible while living at home. Even before PACE opened their doors, they started orientations which covered extensive training on the culture of our community...the community they serve. Betsy Ellington, a licensed clinical social worker and the PACE Social Worker Director states, “The Community we serve impacts us to want to meet the
individual needs of each particitipant. She goes on to say “We are dealing with precious lives here. Each individual is given the opportunity to have someone walk with them, help with their individual needs and most of all to care. We are an extended family with extensive services.
Betsy Ellington PACE Social Worker Director
Amanda Justus who is the Intake Director is very passionate about her work , says it is a “personal calling”. Her career choice stems from personal history of helping with family members. She knows firsthand what it means to help caregivers to be able to keep their loved ones at home and involved. “We look at the caregiver as well as the participant. It is a partnership to add support for the caregivers. We are a place for individuals to come and receive medical care and to assist the caregivers so they can keep their loved ones with them at home as long as possible. The greatest asset of the programs at PACE is giving each precious person we serve a sense Amanda Justus of purpose. Intake Director www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
In August 2013, I wound up in the hospital and it seemed like everything about me was falling apart. A heart attack put me there and kidney problems and blot clots kept me on my back. I never had to be waited on Dennis Bostic for before and now I needed help just going to the bathroom. Modesty was a thing of the past and that was hard for me. After a while, they said I was ready to start rehab. Learning how to get around in a wheel chair was hard but I was determined. After some time spent doing rehab I was ready to come home. At Christmas, my sister and family had found a great place for me to continue to get help. January 1st, God told me He wasn’t done yet. I started
My mother, Mary Young, had a massive stroke three years ago. After being in a hospital, not able to walk, talk or do anything for herself, my family and I had to decide what we Eric Young were going to do. I chose to take care of her and I am committed to her, so there was only one choice, PACE@Home. PACE picks her up and brings her to their center. They take care of her during the day so I can work and do the things I need to do, so I don’t have to worry. Then they bring her home at 4:30 and I take over. I feed her, I even color her hair like she likes and yes, I have to do things a son never wants to have to do. If it was not for PACE, I would not be able to be a caregiver. But there is one thing I want to share. Even with all the things PACE offers for my mother, they always want to know how I am doing. They want to know how they can help. They are amazing at communicating with our family when one of us are struggling with an issue and we know they are there for us.
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
PACE@Home in February 2014. I did not turn down any help or therapy. They were helping me and I was going to help myself. I set a goal for myself. Being very active with sports in high school and college, one thing I wanted to do again was dunk a basketball. Going from just transferring from a wheelchair to dunking a basketball was a “big leap” in more ways than one. I live with my sister and I come to PACE three days a week. I have been elected as the President of Participant Advisory Council. I welcome new participants and I share my story. I tell them I was just like they were when I started and I want to be an encourager for them. I am very independent and I am looking toward the future. Whatever happens with health, I am going to beat it and with the help of PACE@Home and God. He’s not done with me yet.
“There is no other choice!”
Being a caregiver was not something new to me since it was my profession for many years. We all get older and can’t do the things we used to. My oldest sister Mamie Byrd was in a rest home but always wanted to come home. I wanted to bring her to my house but knew I could not do that without some help so I came to talk with Amanda. I would tell her our needs and her response was “We can do that”. After awhile I just told her to tell me what they couldn’t do. So I brought my sister to live with me. My sister came to PACE almost till the day she died, and she loved it. When they came to pick her up, she was ready and waiting. Even many days that I knew she did not feel well, I would tell her she did not have to go, but she would not hear of it. Dorothy Johnson If it had not been for PACE I would not have been able to bring my sister home with me. I am so blessed to be able to have done that. Not only did they take care of my sister but every caregiver needs their own time. The folks at PACE knew church was very important to me and would even send someone to sit with my sister on Sunday mornings so I could go to church.Now you tell me, is this is not a good program?
Services We Provide The PACE@Home program delivers all needed medical and supportive services. The services provided are based on participants’ needs and may include: • Adult day health services • Medical care and medical specialists • Dental, vision, hearing and foot care • Meal planning and nutrition services • Home healthcare and personal care including assistance with bathing and dressing • Medications • Social Services • Respite care • Physical, therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy • Recreational and social activities • Transportation to health-related appointments and the PACE@Home center • Hospital care, emergency services and nursing facility care **Participants may be fully or partially liable for the costs of unauthorized or out-of-PACE program agreement services. Excludes emergency services. PACE@Home complies with applicable Federal civil rights laws and does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, disability, or sex.
How To Enroll Intake:To discuss whether PACE@Home is right for you or a family member, call us today at (828) 468-3980. We will visit your home to assess your needs, answer your questions and explain our services. If you are interested in becoming a participant with us after this visit, the intake team will discuss your health care needs with other team members and arrange a visit for you at our PACE Day Center. Typically, one to two visits are necessary for you to get to know us and for us to get to know you and your special medical needs. We will ask your permission to get medical records from your other providers so we can have a comprehensive view of your specific situation. Assessment:After each team member has reviewed your medical condition, we will meet to talk about the care and services you need. At this meeting, the individualized plan of care is developed. Family Conference:After the team has discussed your health condition, a staff member will call you and your family, or someone close to you, to set up a meeting to discuss your best care options. If it is determined that you qualify and you are interested in participating in PACE@Home, you can enroll in our program. We will discuss at that time:
PACE@Home cumple con las leyes federales de derechos civiles aplicables y no discrimina por motivos de raza, color, nacionalidad, edad, discapacidad o sexo.
• Your personal plan of care and the role your family/loved ones will play • Your monthly costs, if any
ATENCIÓN: si habla español, tiene a su disposición servicios gratuitos de asistencia lingüística. Llame al 1-828-468-3980 (TTY: 1-800-735-2962).
1915 Fairgrove Church Rd Newton, NC 28658 Ph: 828-468-3980 Fx: 828-464-2845 TTY users dial 7-1-1 or 800-735-2962 www.pace-at-home.org
PACE@Home 遵守適用的聯邦民權法律規定，不因種 族、膚色、民族血統、年齡、殘障或性別而歧視任何 人。
注意：如果您使用繁體中文，您可以免費獲得語言援助 服務。請致電 1-828-468-3980 (TTY: 1-800-735-2962)
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19
He Said, She Said
The Business of Love by David and Amy Washco
W
hat’s not to love about being in love? The early onset of butterflies, the anticipation, the dating, the excitement of marriage-it can feel like a drug. The emotional and physical rollercoaster that accompanies new love can be quite intoxicating. From Prince Charming to cupid, our culture promotes from early childhood a romanticized concept of love. The retail industry dedicates the entire month of February to the pursuit of romance. If love is good and positive and kind, why do so many relationships fail?
She Said
My first marriage was built on a rocky foundation. There was chemistry, but we weren’t equally yoked. Our strengths and weakness did not align. We brought out the worst in each other. In business and in relationships, you can’t squint. A successful relationship operates much like a successful business. Even the terminology is similar. 1.
Partner: In business and in love choosing a partner that makes your relationship stronger is key to success. Opposites often attract and can be successful as long as each partner fills in where the other partner is weak. This comes down to wiring and can’t be forced.
2.
Legal Commitment: Entering a marriage is like starting a business. There’s a legal contract involved, and each party must keep their end of the deal. If you wouldn’t start a business with this person, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship with them either.
3.
Plan: In business you create a plan to succeed. Success in love requires similar thought, assessment and often course correction. Like business, love can be perfectly imperfect. There are organic components certainly, but romance that spans a lifetime takes intent, commitment and a plan from both partners.
He Said
Just like my political views, my knowledge of relationships has evolved since my early adulthood. In my early twenties I would have argued with every fiber of my body that marriage/love and business have very little in common. Let’s face it, when we are younger, “emotions” are what drives our discussions of relationships. We fall prey to the belief that “all you need is love.” Now I know why. Because as human beings we tend to take the path of least resistance. And if all you need is love,
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
then don’t have to put much effort into the relationship - “It will just happen.” Of course the next step in the discussion naturally leads to, “Where’s the romance, the spontaneity?” The success of a relationship comes from understanding that the same attributes that lead to a thriving business also play a strong role in a thriving relationship. Let me give a few examples to prove my point: 1. People - In business, a successful company recognizes its people are it greatest asset. In order for that to happen, you must put others needs ahead of your own personal desires. 2. Culture - It is said, “company culture will always eat company strategy for lunch.” If the home is not in harmony, neither are the people. 3. Mission - there needs to be a common vision for the relationship. This involves intentionality. It is important to be intentional in learning who your spouse/love-one is, support their dreams and their passions. 4. Negotiating - if you are not having to negotiate something in your relationship, someone is being railroaded. The moment the attitude “all or nothing” comes into play in a relationship, doom is surely setting in. 5. Evolving - In order to thrive, a company must continue to evolve or it will eventually get left behind. It is equally important that in a relationship both people are evolving and helping each other strive for their potential. This intoxicating cocktail we call “love” often leaves one or both parties with a painful hangover that can lead to relationship failure if not addressed. Relationships (even romantic ones) operate like a business. It’s true that love can conquer and prevail, but love needs intent, nurturing and planning to survive and thrive.
David and Amy Washco are survivors of divorce and serve as relationship advocates. With a financial and marketing background, they are married and live in Hickory, NC. David and Amy are parents to 18 year old Savannah and 10 year old Riley.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21
Love CarriesNo Labels by Jan McCanless
As I look out at the ominous winter sky, I see the birds fighting over the seed in my bird feeder, and watch the squirrels scamper among the tree tops, hoarding and hiding their cache of acorns. There’s a lot going on, if we but look for it. Neighbors out my back door have just erected a nice, covered wooden garden swing, all in preparation for spring. I used to dislike this time of year, but, I realized, as I age, that all seasons and every day holds meaning for us, if we but open ourselves to the possibilities. I got to thinking the other day about February, our shortest month, the month of Love, and I had to laugh. How our concept of love changes over the years. I remember one February giving my husband a new wheelbarrow for Valentines day, because he needed a new wheelbarrow. When courting, and as newlyweds, I would get mushy cards, and big, boxes of gooey chocolate every year, and with each bite, pray that they wouldn’t end up on my hips. Then, we got wise, thus, the wheelbarrow and new hairdryers, or pots and pans; whatever was needed at the moment. Now, when I think of Valentines Day, it has an all new meaning for me. No longer do I visualize mushy cards or big boxes of gooey chocolate, but, it brings to mind all the wonderful folks that are necessary to make our world run smoothly. When was the last time any of us stopped to shake the hand of a policeman or a fireman, or give a high five to our trash collectors? How bout the man high in a basket repairing our power lines, in any and all kinds of weather? It’s often times hard to love the unlovable, but, it takes no effort whatsoever to say to a public servant, “I appreciate and love all that you do for this community”. As a teacher, I tried, every year, to love all my students, to give them a pat on the back or a ‘well done’ when they aced a test. With some students, it was more difficult than with others, but I found the aftermath to be well worth the effort. It’s absolutely amazing what a kind word will do for a person. See what I mean, Valentines Day is not just for lovers, and sweethearts. Love has no label, it’s for everybody. Even our Precious Lord told us to “love one another, as I have loved you’. One of my New Years resolutions this year was to show more love and appreciation of each and everyone in my world. We are not so far into the new year that we still can’t resolve to be a kinder, gentler individual. We have to make this work, folks, we just have to. Soooo, look for the new, improved Jan out there, and how bout you? Gonna try it? You might like it !!!
Jan McCanless is an award winning author of 13 books, a freelance columnist, and premier southern humorist. a retired teacher. She is grandmother to 9 cherubs and is a commissioned lay minister of the Lutheran faith.
pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February January 2017 2017
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LIVE GOD’S WORD by Nina Heck
This series is designed to take your Christian walk to the next level! You may believe in God, but do you truly believe His word or even know how it is relevant in your life today? Each month we will look into God’s word and find answers to many of the questions you may have about God, who He is, how He wants you to live your life, and how to have a more personal relationship with Him. Together, we will not only read God’s word, but find out how to “Live God’s Word” everyday! Materials provided for this study by: Chuck Huskins of Reconciliation Church
What Is My Purpose Here’s the question : As a Christian, what is my purpose in life? In the movie “Forrest Gump”, Forrest asks, “Mama, what is my destiny?” She replies, “You make your own destiny - you do the best you can with what God gives you.”....I have heard Christians comment they wish God would just show them what He wanted them to do with their lives. Thankfully, God doesn’t make us “hope” we get it right. God’s word tells us exactly what our purpose is. Let’s break down some verses from 2 Corinthians to answer this question : 1) Live For Him : 2 Corinthians 5:15 states, “And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them.”(NIV). Do you make decisions based on what is best for you, or on what God would have you to do? The answer to this question will tell you where your priorities really are. God gave His Son to die on that cross, so our sins could be forgiven and we could obtain eternal life. Because of this tremendous gift, we owe Him the position of top priority in our lives. We are to live for Christ - not for ourselves any longer. 2) Look at Others Differently : 2 Corinthians 5:16-17 states, “So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”(NIV) When we become a Christian, we are no longer the person we used to be. God begins to transform us in our thoughts and in our actions. The word “regard” means : to see or relate to someone. We are no longer to look at or relate to others with the same perspective. We begin to see people as God sees them - with an “eternal” perspective. This new perception changes the motives in all of our relationships or casual encounters from superficial or selfish, to God given opportunities to impact their eternal salvation. 3) Be Reconciled to God : 2 Corinthians 5:18 states, “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ.”(NIV) The
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
word “reconcile” means : to bring into agreement or harmony. When we ask Christ to reign in our heart, our heart is brought into harmony with God’s heart and into a right relationship with Him. This is only made possible through Christ. 4) Reconcile Others to God : As you read the end of 2 Corinthians 5:18 into verse 19 it states, “and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting peopleʼs sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”(NIV) Anyone who has been reconciled to God is given this responsibility - reconcile others to God. The “message” is telling people God wants to have a right relationship with them. The “ministry” is actually walking others thru the process of becoming reconciled to God - investing your life into someone else to disciple them. 5) Become a Christ Ambassador : 2 Corinthians 5:20 states, “We are therefore Christʼs ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.”(NIV) An “ambassador” is an authorized messenger sent to speak on someone’s behalf. Christ wants us to give God’s message of reconciliation and do the work of His ministry in our own sphere of influence. At the end of the movie, Forrest says, “I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze”.....Sadly, a lot of people think they have no true purpose - but I assure you , you do have a destiny, a purpose in this world. Let God use you to speak into people’s hearts and reconcile them to Him. There can be no greater purpose on earth than that!
Nina Heck has been married to her husband Kim, for over 30 years. Their greatest joy is their family - Amber, Austin and his wife Rachel, and their grandchildren Allie, Alek and Ellie. A retired hairstylist, she now has more time for her true calling - teaching God’s word in a way that will make it relevant and easy to understand. You can reach her at ninamiracles@gmail.com
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Ponder Truth by Julie McGrath
Steady As She Goes
A woman’s real gift of LOVE Well, February is upon us and that means a chance to celebrate and give thoughtful tokens and gifts of LOVE to those closest to us. I see Valentine’s Day as a celebration of love for my whole family. Chocolates, love notes with red hots shaped into a heart at dinnertime…I enjoy all the Valentine fuss and the excuse to celebrate love, life, each other. The real question is, after the chocolate and goodies are all gobbled up, what will be remembered? The old sentiment is true. The only ones that seem to have any lasting power have one thing in common: they are the gifts that include a measure of the person who gave it. Emerson said it well, “Rings and jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of thyself.” This Valentine’s Day, I want to give my family a gift that will endure, don’t you? I finally settled on a perfect gift of LOVE for Valentines Day. But this one doesn’t come in a heart shaped box. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I can see my family would be clamoring for it (way more than candy!) if they could put it into words. Unfortunately, it is something they can’t really request.
Now by saying she is at the center of things, I am not saying she is in charge of that her husband is not the head of the home. A great lady honors her husband and Christ as head and embraces her role as heart of the home. She knows well, that within that sphere, she has great influence….and she is all about using that influence for GOOD! A great lady is wise, and determined to be a worthy “heart of the home”. This means she does what it takes to give her family a wife and mom who is healthy, emotionally balanced and devoted to the business of family wellness. A glimpse into the life of a woman who is “steady as she goes”… •
She is emotionally available to her children and her husband. She is a great listener and responder.
•
She embraces the responsibilities of her family life and devotes herself to her work and family needs with excellence.
•
She disciplines her children as best she can and encourages them to blossom into the person God is making them.
•
She is a “Happy Camper,” positive and joyful as she loves and serves her loved ones.
•
Most of all – she is EVEN, steady and lovingly strong, in the midst of the ever-changing dynamics of her family different temperaments, struggles, joys and heartaches. She is STEADY.
No, this gift has to come from deep within me, resulting from But where does this steadiness come from? It certainly doesn’t a most unselfish and loving desire. It will cost me something. come naturally to me! Oh how we need God’s help, don’t we! What is this wonderful and sought-after gift? The secret to all this steadiness? It comes from a QUIET TRUST It is simply the decision to be the steadying emotional center of in God and an abiding relationship with Him. my family – and living that out every day.
Maybe that’s not what you expected. It’s not exactly something that has fireworks after it. But what a true and lasting gift! I have observed this gift lived out in families I admire – families that are healthy, intact and characterized by joy. While there are other factors, one thing they all have in common is this - they have one great lady at the center, steadying the ship.
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
It is believing that He holds your family together (not you) and that He loves your family even more than you do. It comes from a woman who does not let her unreliable emotions rule the day, but let’s God’s Holy Spirit help her in those crunch moments, entrusting her needs and her emotions to God, over and over again.
disbelief, I picked it up to examine it – and what did I discover beneath it? A large gopher hole. While I was faithfully watering my pumpkin and checking on all the
Does thisclues mean sheitsishealth neverand cranky? No Iway! Does this external about well-being, was unaware of a mean hidden she is super-human? In fact, if you her in threat: the undergroundAbsolutely schemes ofnot. several hungry and saw unwelcome gophers. real storyyou in the life of that garden very her privateThe moments, might wonder how turned steadyout shetoisbeafter different from have the reality what I observed surface.and What was all. She may manyofmoments of fear on andthestruggle tears. really going on underground was gopher city – an extensive tunnel But she has resolved to not bring that into every moment of her system of a whole family of gophers. family’s life.
As we consider the eyes of God, searching for integrity and sincerity in our lives, may each of us humble ourselves in the deepest places of our hearts and minds. May we earnestly desire to please Him in every way. (Col. 1:10) May that beautiful hidden reality be what nourishes andProverbs sustains our most precious priorities and with refines motivations 3 :5-6 “Trust in the Lord alltheyour heart, of our and hearts. then, willown the understanding. fruit of our lives In (like a big fat leanOnly not on your allmaybe your ways pumpkin!), be him, healthy submit to andand helasting. will make your paths straight.” “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you Proverbs 14:29 “Whoever is patient has great might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last…” – John 15:16
This hidden “gopher world” reminds me of a profound truth in each understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays Let’s Weperson women emotional - some than others. of ourface lives.it. The thatare I really am is who I am more in the hidden person folly.” Fruit that will last forever…now, that’s a harvest to look forward to! Iofwould say Ithe amone on only the “more” side ofthe thehidden spectrum. what my heart, God sees…and reality But is the true Going Deeper: 1. Why do you think that being a steadying reality. do we do with that when our emotions are not helpful? We Going deeper… force in your family is such a priority? What is your ask God to help us. He wants to be Lord over all of our lives – “…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward history of emotional stability in mind the home youday? wereIsraised What are you filling your heart and with each it helping including our emotions. If we choose to let the feelings of the appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 your walk with God and the growth of good and lasting fruit in your life? in? Think about the legacy you want to leave. 2. Purpose moment dictate our every choice, spewing every time we are this week to bless your family by demonstrating selffrustrated, wecalls willme wreak families. We will leave a This truth to thehavoc highestinofour standards: integrity before God. Have you let something creep in that will eventually destroy the good in a heated situation. Teach your children to rely on It calls me to remember that His and estimation of my life fruitcontrol trail of destruction that may not perspective destroy your family, but will most that is growing in the garden of your life? Maybe it’s time to dig up God’s holy spiritthings for patience is the true one. definitely have unpleasant echoes in the future. the dirt and set some in order. when they feel the squeeze of life’s pressures. Remember your life’s example speaks A few questions toafter ask ourselves: louder words! Thanks than againyour for the opportunity! I would love to be a part of the Some things only show themselves our children are on their 1. What is really going on in the quiet meditations of my heart and efforts of Sophie! With JOY, Julie McGrath :) own. What will your emotional legacy be? 90% sweet, 10% what is coming out when I speak? Am I thinking about God, His love and scary? Retreated and unavailable? Or steady and loving? His ways? Am I honoring people, especially those closest to me? ….or is there pride or jealousy or bitterness in my heart that no one knows about
Wouldn’t we all love to hear our children saymeditation of us one of day, but me? “May these words of my mouth and this my“My heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my force Rock and my family. Redeemer.” Psalm mom was such a steadying, loving in our She–really 19:14 was one great lady.”
What is going when no one AmaIhome lovingwith and aserving This2.Valentine’s day,on give a true gif tsees? of love: wife my family well in the privacy of our home? Am I spending time still and mom who is “steady as she goes”. before God, praying to Him, reading His Word and attentive to what He is teaching me? Am I honest with him, confessing sin and asking
Julie McGrath is the wife of John and the proud mom of six. She loves to sing, write and encourage others to simply love Christ more! Her favorite verse is Psalm 119:32 “I run in the paths of your commands for you have set my heart free!” She is the co-founder of Making Our Mothering Significant, a ministry to moms of all ages.
Him - Julie to McGrath show me my heart? …or am I busy and neglectful, filling my
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2016
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
Vanilla Cookies for your Valentine’s
Sweetheart
T
raditional Valentine’s Day gifts include jewelry, flowers and, of course, confections. While Romeos might want to leave their Juliets’ jewelry and floral arrangements to the professionals, those who want to personalize this year’s Valentine’s gifts can try whipping up a batch of cookies for their special someone.
electric mixer, if desired. Transfer the dough to a pastry bag fitted with a medium-size plain tip, about 1⁄2-inch wide, and pipe thin strips about 2 inches long onto the pan, leaving about 2 inches between each strip. Bake in the lower one-third of the oven until lightly browned on the edges, 8 to 10 minutes. Remove with a spatula to a rack and let cool.
The following recipe for “Biscotti Ripieni (Vanilla Cookies with Chocolate Buttercream Filling)” from Michael White’s “Fiamma: The Essence of Contemporary Italian Cooking” (Wiley) checks all the boxes: It’s a dessert, it’s sweet and it includes chocolate. Those three things are sure to delight any sweetheart with a sweet tooth this Valentine’s Day.
Meanwhile, prepare the buttercream:
Biscotti Ripieni (Vanilla Cookies with Chocolate Buttercream Filling) Makes about 18 filled cookies
Immediately remove the bowl from the water and begin beating the mixture with a hand-held electric mixer. Continue beating while slowly adding the butter. Beat until the mixture is room temperature and thickened, about the consistency of a thick confectioners’ sugar-butter frosting, 10 to 15 minutes. About halfway through, the buttercream will look ugly. Keep beating; it will become smooth and thick. Beat in the vanilla. Cover and refrigerate for 10 to 20 minutes.
1⁄2 6 1 1 1⁄4 1
cup sugar ounces (11⁄2 sticks) unsalted butter large egg Grated zest of 1 navel orange cups all-purpose flour teaspoon salt
Buttercream 1 large white egg 1⁄4 cup sugar 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into small cubes and softened 1⁄2 teaspoon vanilla extract 1⁄2 cup bittersweet chocolate, chopped into small pieces Preheat the oven to 325 F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment. In a mixing bowl, cream the sugar and butter together until smooth. Stir in the egg and orange zest, then add the flour and salt, and stir together until smooth. You can also do this with an
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2017
Combine the egg white and sugar in the top of a double boiler or a metal bowl that fits over a pan of simmering water. The bottom should not touch the water. Heat until the sugar is dissolved and the mixture is slightly thickened, whisking continuously.
To assemble, place half the cookies upside down (flat side up) on a sheet pan and spread each with a thin layer of buttercream. Top with the remaining cookies and refrigerate the tray until the buttercream sets, 10 to 15 minutes. While the cookies are in the refrigerator, melt the chocolate in the top of a double boiler set over simmering water, stirring until smooth. Remove the inset and cool the chocolate to room temperature. Remove the cookies from the refrigerator. Holding each cookie by one end, dip half of it in the melted chocolate. Set it on a waxed paper- or parchment-lined tray. When all of the cookies are dipped, return them to the refrigerator for a few minutes to set. - by Metro
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