Volume 13 / Issue 8
October 2017
Woman’s Magazine
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
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M
essage
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By Judy Smith
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.” You have heard it said it takes a village to raise a child. Every person has a village that has impacted their lives. My mind is filled with a collage of memories of people that impacted mine. At times, I would have told you not all were good for me but the one thing I have come to realize; everyone has been great for me. Romans 8:28 tells us that “we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose”. (New King James) That means even what I thought were bad things have happened for a purpose. I don’t know about you, but for me, there were times that was hard to swallow. Then there is another verse that is harder still. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 New King James Version tells us “ in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”. Are you kidding me? Being raised in an alcoholic family? Yes. Being abused as a child? Yes. Being made fun of and ridiculed in school? Yes. Surely this does not mean getting CANCER? Yes. What would you add?..............Yes, Yes, Yes. How could God even think to tell us that? Does He not understand how much it hurts to be ridiculed? Does He not understand how devastating CANCER is? Does He not understand how much it hurts to be abandoned? Does He not understand what losing a child to death is? Yes, Yes, Yes! More than any of us know or understand. After all, we are all His children. Think of how you feel when your child is going through any of these things; how much you hurt for them? Multiply that by billions and billions. In Psalm 94 David shares: 17Unless the Lord had been my help, My soul would soon have settled in silence. 18 If I say, “My foot slips,”
Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up. 19 In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. (New King James) There is a story told of a missionary by the name of Frederick Nolan. Exhausted from fleeing from his enemies in North Africa and having no place to hide, he fell into a cave. He knew his enemies would soon find him. Awaiting his death, he saw a spider weaving a web. Within minutes, the little spider had woven a beautiful web across the mouth of the cave. The pursuers arrived and wondered if Nolan was hiding there, but after seeing the unbroken and unmangled piece of art, thought it impossible for him to have entered the cave without dismantling the web. So, on they went. Having escaped, Nolan burst out and exclaimed: “Where God is, a spider’s web is like a wall. Where God is not, a wall is like a spider’s web”
When Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane, what do you think was going through his mind? It was you and me. How do I know that? The Bible tells us he went there to pray. Not the kind of prayers that you and I pray. He didn’t say “if I have sinned”...He was perfect. He didn’t say “let someone else do this” he said “thy will be done”. Everything had come to this moment...for you and I. We have had a village. Some we may look at as bad, some as good. Yet every single one made an impact on who you are. The biggest impact on my life.... Not the ones who brought me into this world. Not the ones who ridiculed me or mocked me Not the ones who were by my sides in bad times. No, not even my husband and my children. It was the Lord Jesus Christ.
Judy Smith Heart2Heart
Motivation & Inspirational Speaking judy@heart2heartmotivation.com 828-320-9936
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3
S
phie
Contents
Woman’s Magazine
Message from the Heart
3
Reaching Your Full Potential
6
Vibrant Individuals
8
Girlfriends in God
10
Me, Myself, & Inc.
14 16
By: Judy Smith
By: Kim Fletcher
P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122
By: Nicole Greer
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He Said, She Said
20
Live God’s Word
24
God’s Good Plan
26 30
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Cover Photograph Provided by: © ZoomTeam / Adobe Creative Stock ************************************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************************************************************
pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Trading Efficiency for Effectiveness by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach and Author of Escape the Mundane
“The American Institute of Health estimates that 75-90 percent of all visits to primary care physicians are for stress-related problems.” Dr. Caroline Leaf
May I ask you a few important questions? 1. Are you where you want to be in life? 2. Is stress a major factor in your daily life? 3. Do you ever feel that despite your hard work, you just can’t seem to achieve your desired goals? If you answered YES to any of these questions, this article is for you! I want to invite you into a part of my own story and my journey toward less stress and more significance. Just under two years ago, I made the challenging decision to downsize in pursuit of a lifestyle of greater freedom, financially and practicality. I traded the key to my lakeside home for the key to a much simpler cottage. To say that the sacrifice I made was great would be an understatement. I knew that the payoff would be a life that was simpler with less financial pressure and more time to enjoy the work and passions that I love. The truth is that my daily life looks and feels way too similar to the way it was before I moved away from the lake. I expected the payoff of an upgraded life to equal or exceed the sacrifice of walking away from my dream home. I decided to take some time off last week to ponder where I am at and to reconsider what my next steps need to be. I am determined to never give up on aligning more and more with my ideal vision for my life. I would encourage you to be just as tenacious in your own pursuit of your dreams! After all, no one cares more about your life than you do (other than God, the one who created you for this life). I decided to re-read a great book by Timothy Ferriss titled The FourHour Workweek as I was looking for clues on how to make the most of this recent downsize and life transition. I made the sacrifices and now I want my payoff! I want to work less and stress less. This quote jumped off the page as Mr. Ferriss began distinguishing between Being Effective versus Being Efficient, “Effectiveness is doing the things that get you closer to your goals. Efficiency is performing a given task (whether important or not) in the most economical manner possible. Being efficient without regard to effectiveness is the default mode of the universe.” It may be the default mode of the universe, but I had to ask myself if that had also become my own default mode.
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
I expected my days to feel quite different after making my big move toward greater freedom, so why was I not feeling the shift? Sure, I sold my larger home. But did I follow through and make the needed changes in the structure of my days? Hear me here … I made a huge change, but selling my home did not change the way I spent my days. For the most part, I have continued to do the same daily work and life tasks. When I started feeling quite discouraged recently, I had to be honest and admit that I did NOT FOLLOW THROUGH! If you play tennis, golf or any other sport, you know the importance of how you follow through. It changes your swing and ultimately determines whether or not you hit your target. Here is my revelation. I am efficient but not always effective. I stay busy and get things done, but freedom will only come as I determine to be good and efficient at the things that will continue to bring freedom my way. Ask yourself a few of the questions I am asking myself: • Do you spend the majority of your time on tasks that are connected to your ultimate goals or ones that keep you distracted from those goals? • Are you better at getting things checked off of your list, or figuring out how to ultimately shorten and simplify that list? • Are you less stressed or more stressed than you were one year ago? • How would your days change if you decided to focus on increasing your effectiveness in one or more key areas of your life? I recently helped a business coaching client to see where his pride in his efficiency of promptly returning calls and emails was creating a distraction that made him ineffective at his key career tasks that needed his full attention. He saw his prompt replies as a great strength, but it was getting so much attention that it was sabotaging his effectiveness. Take time to ponder your next steps and make them count. A quick test to assess whether your steps are counting is to simply see if they are moving you closer to a life you love! Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach and Author of international acclaim. Her latest coaching book is FREE at: http://www.kimfletchercoach.com. This book and Kim’s coaching will allow any individual to achieve the title of this resource, Escape the Mundane: Create a Life You Love On Any Budget. Nothing is more important than how you choose to spend your days. Contact Kim directly to learn how a partnership can accelerate your path to your ultimate destiny: kim@kimfletchercoach.com.
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V
ibrant Individuals...
Light up the Room
Y
ou know how some people walk into the room and the energy drops? Then, you know there are the other people who walk into the room and the energy soars?
What’s the difference in these people? I’ll tell you. It is the radiance of that individual’s “light.” The someone who walks in, who causes the energy to drop, lacks energy, passion, and focus. She is searching for some light and she sucks the light right out of the room. The someone who walks in, who causes the energy to soar, has tremendous energy, passion and serious focus. She on the other hand is on fire! She lights up the room. She heats up the conversation. She sheds light on what is possible. And most importantly, she has the energy to turn what is possible into the probable. And, maybe even more importantly, her energy sparks the light in others which …and don’t miss this… puts even more possibilities in the path of becoming probable.
By Nicole Greer, PPCC aka The Vibrant Coach
Mistakenly, some individuals think they are “ok” and do not need to do any work on themselves. But believe me, the people closest in their lives pray they would take a good look in the mirror…self-assess… and see the quality of their habits, integrity, next steps and energy. Or there are the other individuals who are aware of how they show up and jump on the first idea that she thinks will magically change everything which may result in failure that create a downward spiral. Slowing down to do self-assessment is mandatory to finding out what is working or not working in our lives. It identifies blind-spots. It uncovers our challenges. It insists that we get real about what is really going on. The truth is the fact that the more radiant you are the more attractive you are. I don’t mean this in terms of external beauty. I am talking about how a moth is naturally attracted to light. The container for the light doesn’t have to be a million dollar marquee. The light just needs to be in the “on” position, shedding light in the dark. The same is true for you.
The powerful question is: How do I become an individual that radiates light?
If you emit serious light, you’ll draw a crowd of moths! You might be thinking, “I don’t need a crowd.” Ok, I get that, however all of us need people. We need people to help us, support us, buy from us, build with us, and get the job done alongside us. I implore you to check the radiance of your light. Living a vibrant life will pay tremendous dividends in terms of your impact, your influence, and your personal satisfaction of a well-lived life.
I’ll tell you.
Let’s get started!
That kind of individual is living a Vibrant Life. She works through The S.H.I.N.E. Coaching Methodology.TM The S.H.I.N.E. Coaching Methodology.TM creates a conduit for your inner light to radiate out into the world by addressing five core areas: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Self-Assessment Work Habit Work Integrity Work Next Right Steps Work Energy Work
In order to put the right habits in place you must first do self-assessment. To be in integrity, you must first do self-assessment. To know what the next right step is, you must first do self-assessment. To know what kind of energy you lack, you must first do self-assessment. So, we begin by doing self-assessment. I repeat myself because…and I repeat… doing self-assessment is foundational to all other work.
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
The Radiance of My Life, self-assessment exercise is foundational in determining how vibrant your life is in real time. To determine the radiance of your life, simply draw a circle on a piece of paper. Divide this circle into eight pie shaped sections that have meaning for you. Here are some categories you might consider. Pick the ones that have meaning for you. And, YES you can use all of them. You can even go off the board for twenty points and add your own category. Remember, this all about you. • Physical Environment (e.g. for example where you spend your time: home, office, car) • Career • Money • Health
• • • • • • • • •
Friends Family Significant Other Personal Growth & Learning Fun and Recreation Spiritual Social Network/Community Legacy Creativity
Once you have ranked each one of your categories from zero to ten (010), you’ll have self-assessed the radiance of your life. This snapshot tells you how much light you have radiating today. Odds are you’ll have some areas that are bright and illuminated.
Measure from the center of your circle, which is zero, to the edge of the circle, which is a ten, drawing an arched line at your level of satisfaction in each category. To discern your “radiance” ranking ask yourself powerful questions. Here are some examples:
And…there will be areas that you need to amp up! If you want to live a vibrant life, your next right step will be to take action. You might need to do some habit work. You might need to get into integrity in a particular category. You might need to create a written down series of “next right steps”. Or you might need to address one of the six energies to fuel your life. While this might seem like “a lot,” you have “a lot” of life to live. Why not live a vibrant life? If you’d like a copy of the Radiance of Life exercise and the selfcoaching worksheet, email me at nicole@thevibrantcoach.com.
Physical Environment: How aesthetically pleasing is my environment? In the places where I spend the most time, how inspired, comfortable, and at home am I? Career: How much do I enjoy my work? How clear is my vocational calling? Money: How does the money I have, earn, and invest create a solid financial future? Do have enough to share? Health: How healthy am I? How does my physical fitness, nutrition, and sleep impact me?
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life, and spiritual growth. Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life, executive, and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com and www.thelydiagroup.com
Friends: What kind of support do I have? Who can I count on?
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Love at First Fight by Mary Southerland
Today’s Truth
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up. - 1 Thessalonians 5:11
I wonder what would happen if we made the deliberate choice to unconditionally accept our husband – as is?
Friend to Friend
How would our marriage relationship and the health of our home be affected if we took the energy that we waste trying to change each other and used it to change ourselves?
Like all relationships, the marriage relationship has a certain dynamic. If one person changes, then the whole relationship will change. I don’t know about you, but I absolutely hate making personal change. It is hard work and more often than not, extremely painful! So when it comes to the marriage relationship, I attempt to make sure that it is my husband who does all of the changing instead of me. Unfortunately, that tactic is not only contradictory to God’s plan for marriage, but it never works and inevitably leads to frustration and friction in the home. In every relationship, but especially in marriage, God calls us to encourage one another and build each other up. During our first year of marriage, I approached my relationship with my husband, Dan, kind of like I would contemplate buying an old house. I couldn’t wait to see it remodeled! And I was just the one who could draw up the plans and do the demolitions work. I focused on those things I did not like about my husband and tried desperately to change him. But the harder I tried, the more “set” those things I wanted changed seemed to become. I finally realized that my efforts were in vain and my motives impure. The ugly reality was that I simply wanted Dan to be more like me – when what I should want is for him is to be more like God. Everyone needs encouragement. At the heart of of encouragement is acceptance. It is important to understand that acceptance and approval are two entirely different things. We need to accept and celebrate the differences in each other instead of trying so hard to eliminate them. We can be different without being right or wrong. Differences can rip us apart or add great flavor to the relationship. Differences fill in the “gaps” we all have. Many times the things that we try so hard to change in our husbands are the very things that we once found attractive. He once was carefree, but now he is irresponsible. When we first met, he was determined, but now he is stubborn. He used to be more concerned about inward qualities than outward appearances, but now he is just plain sloppy!
pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
How would your husband respond if you became his biggest fan and looked for ways to encourage him every single day? We all need a cheerleader! Every husband ought to be able to trust his wife and what she says about him. Ladies, don’t criticize your husband to your friends, your children, or to other family members. Instead, be his biggest fan and most loyal encourager. I know what you are thinking. What about me? I need to be encouraged just as much as my husband does. I could not agree more! And the amazing thing about encouragement is that it is cyclical. It always comes back to you. The more you give, the more you receive. It is impossible to out-give God. The One who loves us unconditionally, accepts us just as we are, and encourages us every step of the way is calling us to do the same for each other. He longs for the world to see Him and His stubborn love at work in our homes and marriages. The question is – are we willing to change?
Let’s Pray
Dear Father, I come to You today, asking You to forgive me for my critical spirit and rigid heart. I lay down my expectations and agenda for my marriage. Today, please help me build up my husband and encourage him toward You. Give me the strength to accept him just like he is. Please pour Your unconditional love through me. Please work in me, in my marriage, and in my home so that others can see you. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Make a list of the good things you see in your husband. Read that list every day this week, thanking God for each one. Every day, encourage your husband in some way; write him a note, call him at work just to tell him that you love him, or show up at his office to take him to lunch.
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A
re you an anguished giver, or do you know someone who is? What I mean by this is … do you feel that you give from your heart, yet also feel you are not getting the same in return? Are you measuring your giving tit for tat? Have you done a favor for a friend, family member or co-worker, and are still awaiting that favor to be repaid or returned? We all love to be appreciated for what we do for others. We like being acknowledged. It is human nature, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciated or acknowledged. The problem is, when we get too caught up in expecting something in return. Giving isn’t about receiving. It is about giving, plain and simple. It is about kindness, not about measurement. If you are caught up in being annoyed by all that you do for others and not getting the same in return, you are being narrow in your scope of thinking, and it is hurting you more than anyone else. The best measurement of your own giving is the satisfaction from having given. Nothing more is necessary. Universal Support: Have you ever heard of the ripple effect? Some experts have called it the butterfly effect. It is the impact one small act can make to change the moments that immediately follow from that point forward. Your actions do have long lasting impact far beyond what is initially done or seen. Your giving helps someone who may then help someone. Your example inspires more individuals to do the same thing for others. By understanding that we are all co-existing in this universe together, and have influence and impact on many others, we can feel good in knowing that our small act of kindness will be rippled out in wonderfully gratifying ways. Generosity Paid Forward: I have always loved the phrase when it was first introduced to “pay it forward.” While you are lamenting over not receiving reciprocal giving from who you gave to on a particular occasion, consider that perhaps they gave to someone else and paid it forward. This is the ripple effect in action, and I find myself saying this to anyone who asks me, “What can I do in return.” Self Acknowledgment: Get over the need for others to praise and acknowledge your kindness or giving. If you are giving to be noticed or acknowledged, you are giving for the wrong reasons.
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
Be satisfied with giving and feeling good inside yourself for having given. If acknowledgment is important, don’t make it about you. Consider having a gratitude posse you can connect with who will appreciate what each other does. Get these giving friends together and share how you are helping others. Appreciate the joy of the sharing and caring as a group. Time Well Spent: We all know that time is valuable. Not everyone is going to dedicate the time we dedicate to a particular endeavor, nor should we expect them to just because we did. Everything is a choice, an individual choice. If you focus on measuring your time invested against everyone else, you will lose the spirit behind your time given. If you are investing more time than expected, again, this was your choice, and you need to recognize this as well. Don’t be discouraged or annoyed by others not spending the same amount of time you do. Simply focus on the satisfaction you received from making a difference. Chances are, you or the person this column spurred you to think of, has received so much more indirectly from giving than what is ever possible to see on the surface. One of my favorite movies of all time is “It’s a Wonderful Life.” It wasn’t until George Bailey was able to see the impact of his giving that he appreciated the difference he had made, and how different life for so many people beyond the person he helped would have been had he not touched them in some way. There is a joy to giving when it is about what it will do for others, and not what it will do for you. Give from your heart. Give of your time. Give from your wallet. And allow George Bailey’s example be your confirmation that you have made a difference beyond what you will ever know.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
Did you know?
While the image of a witch riding her broomstick across a full moon is one of the more indelible images associated with Halloween, the likelihood of witnessing a full moon on Halloween is pretty slim. According to Moongiant.com, a full moon on Halloween happens an average of just once every 18 or 19 years. That means Halloween celebrants will likely only witness a full moon on Halloween five times every century. In fact, the last time trick-ortreaters went on the prowl for Halloween candy beneath a full moon was October 31, 2001. And Halloween lovers will have to wait just a little bit longer to dodge evil spirits in the light of a full moon, as Moongiant notes the next time a full moon is slated to appear on October 31 is not until 2020.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
A divi Hospi
The Role of Exercise in Cancer Reduction
Cancer can strike without warning. Although there is no way to prevent cancer, there are certain measures people can take to help reduce their risk, and exercise is one of the more effective ways to do just that.
The National Cancer Institute notes that there is substantial evidence to support the idea that higher levels of physical activity are linked to lower risks of several cancers, including colon cancer, endometrial cancer and breast cancer. In addition, a study published in the journal JAMA Internal Medicine found that leisure-time physical activity was associated with a significantly decreased risk of not only these three cancers, but also esophageal cancer, liver cancer, stomach cancer, kidney cancer, and myeloid leukemia, among others. As many as one-third of cancer-related deaths can be linked to obesity and sedentary lifestyles, so it’s easy to see the relationship between exercise and a reduced cancer risk.
One of the more important ways that exercise may lower cancer risk is through the reduction of estrogen and insulin levels in the body. Women with high estrogen levels in their blood have increased risk for breast cancer. Although estrogen is a reproductive hormone, it is also contained in fat cells. Exercise can help burn fat and lower the amount of blood estrogen in the body, thereby lowering a woman’s pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
risk of developing breast cancer.
Exercise also can decrease the potentially harmful effects of obesity, which are linked to the development of insulin resistance. According to the study, “The Links Between Insulin Resistance, Diabetes, and Cancer” by Etan Orgel, MD, MS, and Steven D. Mittelman, MD, PhD, although the precise mechanisms and pathways are uncertain, it is becoming clear that hyperinsulinemia (insulin resistance), and possibly sustained hyperglycemia, are important regulators of not only the development of cancer but also of treatment outcome. Insulin resistance has been linked to the development of tumors in cases of breast and colon cancers. The NCI states that exercise also can reduce cancer risk by: •
reducing inflammation
•
improving immune system function, and
•
•
altering the metabolism of bile acids in the gastrointestinal tract, helping to decrease exposure of the body to suspected carcinogens boosting mood and feelings of well-being
Additional research is needed to study the link between exercise and cancer risk. However, based on observational studies, existing studies support the notion that regular exercise can go a long way toward reducing cancer risk.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
The Beautiful Colors of Fall by Jan McCanless
As I write this, it’s raining catfish and hush puppies outside, and we are expecting some affects from the hurricane now churning up the Atlantic. We have really experienced some quixotic weather this summer have we not? As I’ve aged, I’ve learned a thing or two, and this much I know. Weather will always straighten itself out. If it’s too dry, sooner or later, it will rain, too wet, and eventually it will dry out. It just works that way. I do concern myself with the farmers at times, because I know their livelihood depends on the weather, but, there is nothing any of us can do about it, so, why worry? Autumn is my very favorite time of the year, so much happens in our family then, birthdays, anniversaries, Thanksgiving, Halloween, it’s really busy. In college, the spouse and I dated all fall at the football games, and dances afterward. Very economical for struggling college students. What I enjoy the most are the colors of fall, the glorious, deep reds, the blazing oranges, and majestic purples. They splash across the landscape in riotous shades, reminding me of those wonderful farmers who grew them, and the marvelous God who lays them all out for us to enjoy. Beautiful flowers in gorgeous colors spread their cheer and warmth far and wide this time of year. They are everywhere, in stores, garden shops, and adorning lawns every place you look. My own yard is at this moment, abounding in pots of the happy, yellow blooms. They make me smile to see them, and they add so much joy to the already blazing trees we have. The wonderful reds of the dogwood trees and the pretty oranges of the maple trees. Just looking at them fills me with such thankfulness that we live in this world, this country, and can enjoy natures wonder with no restraints. We are blessed in America to be able to enjoy all of falls bounty, not just the colors, but the smells, the pumpkins, the little ghosts and goblins as they trick or treat in their adorable costumes. I try to be thankful to God for each and every day, and to appreciate every season that He gives us, but, this one, - -- ah, this one is special. Come on out and enjoy it with me ! Jan McCanless is an award winning author of 13 books, a freelance columnist, and premier southern humorist. a retired teacher. She is grandmother to 9 cherubs and is a commissioned lay minister of the Lutheran faith.
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
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He Said, She Said
Y
Overcoming Obstacles by David and Amy Washco
oung people don’t know enough to be afraid. To be fair, they simply don’t have enough historical data. They often leap over obstacles sometimes never knowing the scale or weight of the challenge they just faced. As we age, we become less risky in our behavior due to life experiences. Too much is riding on our decisions. Bills have to be paid, and loved ones are counting on us to come through. It can be extremely overwhelming emotionally and physically when we don’t have control over our own destiny. As adults, life’s obstacles appear to have us blocked at every turn. But do they? The aged and experienced mind forgets that we face and successfully tackle obstacles every day with success no matter our age! We tend to focus on the overwhelming large obstacles and give up before we even try to address them. Have we become desensitized to the success of the obstacles we face every day thinking they don’t count? How can we turn back the years and reclaim a more youthful but wise perspective which will directly impact our level of success in breaking through walls?
She Said:
The more challenges life throws at you, the better you get at tackling them. My mother tells me that adversity builds character. After one divorce, seven miscarriages, ten years of coordinating care for my disabled father and numerous corporate buy-outs and reorganizations, I have decided that I have quite enough character. But somehow, the walls keep appearing in the road. I believe success in the face of adversity comes down to choice. Should we act, react or hide in a hole named, “Denial?” How we choose to face these obstacles no matter our age determines our success. You can choose to break through the wall, go around it, tunnel over it or just stand quietly before it, admiring it’s construction. While youth has its advantages, age trumps youth due to wisdom in any crises. It is difficult to overcome anything successfully without willing understanding the following: 1.
Own Your Truth: Have the courage to step out of the storm of drama for a moment of unbiased reflection. Turn the mirror on yourself which may reveal some pretty unflattering warts. Self-awareness is key. Are you the creator of your own obstacle or contributing to it somehow? You may already hold the key to your own happiness.
2.
Sometimes Moving Forward Requires Being Still: Like a sideview mirror, times of crises often appear larger than they really are! Flight or fright kicks in which can exacerbate a bad situation. Take a breath! In our immediate gratification culture, people are uncomfortable with feeling uncomfortable. It’s okay to feel pain and experience limbo for a bit. Sometimes no action is the right action. Have some faith. Give God time to work in your life. You will be amazed what tends to resolve itself.
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
3.
Ask for Help: Pride can be crippling. Shame can be debilitating. Older mentors, most likely, have walked where you are. Do your research, ask questions and be open to love and support from family, friends and even strangers. Recognize that some obstacles need the strength of a village to overcome them.
He Said:
I have felt over the years that there are only so many obstacles one person can take. The good news is we are never given more than we can handle: 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But, when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” I personally endured a three-year agonizing obstacle that affected me daily. During this battle, I decided to research how people overcome obstacles. This activity was an excellent way to invest my pain and turn it into something good. Little did I know it would also grow my mentor skills. I was surprised to learn that there is commonality in how people successfully overcome obstacles. I now try to practice these daily: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Three Gratitude’s: Write down three things you are grateful for from the previous day. Journaling: Document your inner feelings and emotions that are weighing you down and creating “your” story. Exercise: Breaking a sweat will physically release your stress and help you feel better about yourself. Prayer: Speaking with God, himself, is the ultimate relationship. It is very difficult to focus on your obstacles if you are focusing on Him. Random Acts of Kindness: This has become my favorite step/action. Opening a door, sending a hand written note or something as small as giving a pat on the back goes a long way.
There will always be obstacles on the journey of life. There’s no such thing as a smooth ride. Young or old, our approach to overcoming these challenges defines who we are. Fear due to life experience can paralyze us and keep us from breaking through walls as we age. Faith in the face of adversity is the key to controlling this fear. The willingness to be uncomfortable and the strength to prevail will lead to success in overcoming obstacles. David and Amy Washco are survivors of divorce and serve as relationship advocates. With a financial and marketing background, they are married and live in Hickory, NC. David and Amy are parents to 18 year old Savannah and 10 year old Riley.
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LIVE GOD’S WORD by Nina Heck
Do you truly believe God’s word or understand how it is relevant in your life? Each month we will look into the bible and find answers to many of the questions you may have about God, who He is and how He wants you to live your life. Together, we will not only read God’s word, but find out how to “Live God’s Word” everyday!
The Kingdom of God Here Now and In Heaven
Here’s the question : Where exactly is “The Kingdom of God”? What comes to mind when you think about the “Kingdom of God”? I always pictured it as some far away place I would get to experience in heaven. That is true, but I also believe it is much more than that. The definition of a “kingdom” is: a territory over which the sovereignty of God or Christ extends - whether in heaven or on earth. A “territory” is something separated out, that belongs to and is under the power and authority of a sovereign. When someone is “sovereign” over you, it means their authority is above all others in importance in your life. I believe the kingdom of God is not only a place in heaven, but also with us here and now - in our hearts. When we receive Christ, our heart becomes God’s territory - a place separated out from this world that is under His authority. To help us better understand this, let’s look at some scriptures that talk about and describe the kingdom of God : Mark 10:14-15 states: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”(NIV) The word “receive” means: to take something offered into one’s possession; to take into the mind and accept it....God wants us to personally “receive” the kingdom of God the way that a child would - with an accepting mind - even though we may not understand everything. This is where some people have trouble....they want to know the answers to all their questions before they commit to God. Scripture is very clear though, that we must accept it with childlike faith - a lot of trust, limited understanding and a pure heart with no hidden motives. In this scripture, we see two different aspects of the kingdom of God. The first is to “receive” the kingdom of God which would happen here on earth in our hearts - the second is
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
to “enter” the kingdom of God - which would happen one day in heaven. Luke 13:8-19 states: “Then Jesus asked, “What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds perched in its branches.”(NIV) The kingdom of God and the knowledge of God’s truth, can be planted in our hearts - just like a seed in a garden. When we receive this truth, though it seem small at first, it can grow into something large and become firmly planted within us. It can grow so large in our lives, that others can’t help but see it and are attracted to it like birds are attracted to a tree for shelter and protection. Luke 13:20-21 states: “Again he asked, “What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about sixty pounds of flour until it worked all through the dough.”(NIV) Yeast is active and alive. Under the right conditions, yeast multiplies rapidly and affects any flour that it touches. We can have the same effect as yeast when the kingdom of God is within us! After we give our hearts and lives to Christ, our faith and devotion to Him can grow rapidly and have an impact on everyone we come in contact with. One person totally sold out to God, can touch and change many lives. The kingdom of God is a place I will experience in heaven - a wonderful place that is hard for me to even imagine - but I also believe I can experience the kingdom of God in my heart right now. All God requires is for my heart to be willing to receive it and accept it with the trust of a child - and I want to experience them both. Nina Heck has been married to her husband Kim, for over 30 years. Their greatest joy is their family - Amber, Austin and his wife Rachel, and their grandchildren Allie, Alek and Ellie. A retired hairstylist, she now has more time for her true calling - teaching God’s word in a way that will make it relevant and easy to understand. You can reach her at ninamiracles@gmail.com
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God’s Good Plan by Patricia Middleton
You Are His Beloved How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty! Psalms 84:1 As I sat one peaceful morning reading the Psalms, I couldn’t help but to meditate on verse 1 of Psalms 84. My spirit was lifted and my very soul encouraged by the words spoken so eloquently. The words written in this short verse express so well the Lord’s loving kindness and truth. We are His beloved and He longs to have relationship with us. These words were written by David to the chief musicians upon Gitit; a psalm for the sons of Korah. The words “Dwelling Places” speak of how the Lord dwells in His believers. How very awesome it is to know that our Lord and Savior wants to dwell in us. What does this word dwell really mean? In the dictionary we find the word dwell to mean: To live as an inhabitant; to continue in a given place; to focus one’s attention on. it is incomprehensible to think of the love of God in our finite human terms. His agape love is revealed and experienced through the Holy Spirit who dwells in His believers. We know the triune (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) as one. The Lord God not only lives, but inhabits His believers. As I think carefully about the loving relationships experienced with individuals in my family, or others along this path called life, I realize that to desire to dwell with someone speaks of my
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
devoted focus and attention toward them. How much more does our heavenly Father desire for us? (2 Corin. 6:18) He is a devoted Father who’s attention is on His children and His focus is to dwell with us. Blessed is the one who opens the doors of their heart to allow Him to dwell with them. ( Psalms 84:6) This is the Lord God who forgives, saves the lost, redeems, shows mercy, gives grace, strengthens the feeble, encourages the downcast, heals the sick, provides for those who lack, gives wisdom to those who ask, orders the steps of the righteous, protects and fights for us in battle, delivers, and LOVES! He is God almighty! What manner of love is this that the God of heaven and earth desires to dwell in us? I trust that you yourself desire this loving relationship with Father(God),Son(Jesus), and Holy Spirit. (John 3:16) I encourage you to open the doors of your heart! Revelation 3:20 ( Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we shall share a meal together as friends.) What a loving and compassionate God! We are renewed by excepting His son Jesus as Lord and savior, transformed by His very presence, and led by His Holy Spirit. We are free to seize the significance of a life spent with our BELOVED! Enjoy His Presence. Patricia Middleton is a dedicated mother and grandmother, ministry leader, retired educator, tutor, and author. She has published two delightful children’s books that present biblical truth through teachable stories and lovely illustrations: Given Strength and What Shall We Give Him? They can be found at Amazon.com, Barnes&Nobel. com, or OutskirtsPress.com. Patricia has been honored to serve as guest author/reader at various churches, daycares, schools, and summer reading programs. Her greatest passion is sharing God’s Word.
Autumn shows us how Beautiful it is to
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
Preserve Carved Pumpkins
in Various Ways
Jack-o’-lanterns and other carved pumpkin designs are frequently the centerpieces of Halloween festivities. The twinkling lights and orange glow of jack-o’-lanterns can add ambiance to any autumn event. The trouble with carving pumpkins is that most people want to do it right away, only to discover their pumpkins wilt and decay long before Halloween.
Nothing ruins Halloween more than visiting a home to trick-ortreat and not getting candy. Equally disappointing is a sad pumpkin display withering away on a front porch. Even though all pumpkins will eventually rot, certain tips can keep carvings from collapsing too soon. •
•
•
Choose a sturdy pumpkin. Inspect the pumpkin of your choosing carefully, looking for gouges, spots and holes. Even a small blemish can quickly expand into a mushy mess. Select pumpkins with even color and firm flesh, and make sure that the pumpkin doesn’t feel tender when you push on the skin.
Visit local pumpkin stands. Pumpkins that have been shipped miles and miles in hot cargo trucks may be overly ripened or battered. Pumpkins that were grown nearby may be fresher. Plus, buying pumpkins locally supports local farmers.
Scrape the insides of the pumpkin thoroughly. Any moist bits inside the pumpkin will mold quickly. The pumpkin carving experts at Pumpkin Masters recommend scraping as much of
pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
•
•
• •
the “guts” out as possible, leaving about a one-inch thickness of the wall of the pumpkin.
Coat the pumpkin. Preservation methods may aim to keep the pumpkin hydrated and inhibit mold and other microbial growth. Commercially sold pumpkin preservation products, such as Pumpkin Fresh®, hold up well. Soaking and spraying carved pumpkins with a bleach-and-water solution also seems to preserve designs. Keep it out of the elements. Store carved pumpkins in a cool, dry place. This will help slow down the rotting process for pumpkins exposed to outdoor fungi, other microbes and warm sunlight.
Use an artificial light source. Reduce the heat inside of the pumpkin and encourage hydration by selecting a batterypowered light instead of a lit candle to illuminate the carving. Skip the carving. Once pumpkin skin is compromised, microbes can enter. In lieu of carving, paint or decorate pumpkins in other ways if you want them to stay fresh for a long time. Glow in the dark paint can help pumpkins stand out at night.
Carved pumpkins may last a week or two, while uncut pumpkins can last for a month or more. Keeping pumpkins hydrated and mold-free will prolong your designs.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
Candied Apples
Homemade candied apples are a fixture come Halloween. Sweet, delectable and very easy to make, these apples are a staple at parties and may even be distributed to trick-or-treaters. As anyone who has bit into a sticky-sweet candied apple can attest, although delicious, these apples are not exactly a healthy snack. Yet, with a few, easy modifications, it’s possible to improve the nutritional value of candied apples. With ingredients like caramel, marshmallow, chocolate fudge, and sugar, it’s easy to see how candied apples do not embody a healthy treat, despite an apple being underneath all those candy adornments. Try these ideas to increase the nutritional value of this beloved treat.
chopped walnuts.
• Substitute actual cinnamon for melted cinnamon candies in recipes. Mix powdered cinnamon with a light corn syrup and then dip the apples to coat.
• Swirl homemade raspberry jam with an all-natural peanut butter and spread it on the apples for a gourmet take on peanut butter and jelly. • Hazelnut spreads are all the rage right now. Use your favorite chocolate hazelnut spread on the apples and sprinkle with granola for crunch.
• Drizzle the apples with your sugary concoction rather than dipping them to cut down on the sugar. This still • Make your own caramel using condensed milk, provides much flavor but does so without all of the brown sugar and butter. By controlling the ingredients, sugar. you can avoid extra sugar and any additives in • Dip apples in melted cheese, like brie or gouda. Sprinkle with bacon bits for a sweet and salty commercially sold caramel toppings. • Use honey for the outer coating of the apple. Then combination. Experiment with your own flavors. Making your own • Coat apples with dark chocolate, which contains candied apples, rather than purchasing them from less sugar than milk chocolate and is packed with stores, enables you to control the ingredients and how antioxidants. Sprinkle with dried cranberries and much actual candy goes into the recipe. roll it in chopped almonds or granola.
Traditional candied apple recipes are full of sugar. Experiment with more nutritious ingredients to create healthier apples that still boast a lot of flavor.
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2017
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