Woman’s Magazine
December 2017 Volume 13 / Issue 10
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
FREE
M
essage
from the By Judy Smith
C
hristmas comes with a price. I can hear you saying right now, “She is not telling us something we don’t know”. Many people go into debt every year to buy things others don’t really need. I used to be VERY guilty of this. I still go overboard, though that is probably subjective to who you ask. My husband would say yes, but then he is always pushing me on to get the shopping done. My kids, on the other hand, would probably disagree. They are getting better at it since they now have kids of their own and the items on their wish list are way more expensive than their’s used to be.
to this earth. Yet He provided the greatest gift ever. He gave it all so that we might have eternal life. You can’t earn it but you do have to accept it. Have you accepted that gift of Heaven? You can. It is so easy. Believe in Jesus with your whole heart and ask him to forgive you of your sins. We have all sinned, every single one of us. Ask Him to come into your life. He is waiting to welcome you into the family. I pray this will be the greatest Christmas you have ever had.
Love each other. Just think of the changes from the time I was a child till now. It has not MERRY CHRISTMAS been that many years. Okay, maybe more than I am willing to admit. When I was a child, a treat bag was one of the things we looked forward One last thing I want to share. Just in case you are not aware of the new to as much as anything. An apple, orange, maybe a pear, some nuts, employee guidelines for Christmas season, please read this: and candy...our own little bag! Everyone got one so we didn’t have to share. We were fortunate if we got something for ourselves at Christmas, especially if it was something new. We got things like used wagons or used bikes and we shared them. We were really blessed to get something ason s stmas se Employee the Chri new for each of us. To: All agement an t during Then along came my children and their lists were longer and more expensive. They did enjoy much simpler things than children do today. They were happy with things like a new bike, skateboard, an easy bake oven or a doll that pooped. Now their kids want things like computers, their own smart TV, an Apple iPhone X or their very own Visa card with $500. Times have changed not only with the gifts themselves but how they relay those wants. As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my E-mail?” Then there is “Dirty Santa”. Who in the world came up with that? I spend a fortune buying $10 gifts for all the Dirty Santa games that are played at Christmas parties. They can be a lot of fun...if you get what you want. Right? Santa’s watching, so don’t you lie. I spend endless hours shopping all the sales to get the best $10 gift anyone has ever gotten in their life for $10, only to go home with a mug that I cannot make room for in my cabinet. Yet I love Christmas. I love all the hustle and bustle, the smells, the music, the lights....I love it all. Yes, it comes with a price, but the greatest price has been paid. It wasn’t paid by a billionaire or by the ruler of a country. It was paid by my Father. It was paid by a King. He left heaven to come as flesh to be born in a lowly stable. He gave up royalty to come as a humble servant. He was worshipped in Heaven and He gave that up to be ridiculed, spit on, tortured and beaten beyond recognition to come
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Judy Smith Heart2Heart
Motivation & Inspirational Speaking judy@heart2heartmotivation.com 828-320-9936
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S
phie
Contents
Woman’s Magazine
Message from the Heart
3
Reaching Your Full Potential
6
Vibrant Lives
8
Girlfriends in God
10
Me, Myself, & Inc.
Potential Long-Term Expenses for Retirement: by Terri Hintz
14 16
A Happy, Warm Fuzzy to You All
18
He Said, She Said
20
Live God’s Word
24
God’s Good Plan
26 30
By: Judy Smith
By: Kim Fletcher
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Cover Photograph Provided by: © anna_burlakova / Adobe Creative Stock ************************************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************************************************************
pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
Read More Books for Better Health
T
he availability of digital content has made it easy to forget how pleasurable it can be to pick up a good book and get lost in a story. In fact, a 2015 Huffington Post/YouGov poll of 1,000 adults in the United States found that 28 percent hadn’t read a single book in the previous 12 months. Researchers at the Yale School of Public Health analyzed 12 years of data from the University of Michigan’s Health and Retirement Study concerning reading habits. Among the 3,600 participants over the age of 50, those who read books for as little as 30 minutes per day over several years were living an average of two years longer than those who didn’t read.
Studies have shown that reading improves fluency and story retention while providing a host of additional benefits to young children. However, the perks do not end with the passing of adolescence. Data published in the journal Neurology found reading regularly improves memory function by working out the brain. This can help slow a decline in memory and other brain functions. Frequent brain exercise can lower mental decline by 32 percent, according to research published in The Huffington Post. Studies even suggest that reading can help a person be more empathetic to others’ feelings. Research published in the journal Science showed that reading literary works (not popular fiction) cultivates a skill known as “theory of mind,” which is the “ability to ‘read’ the thoughts and feelings of others.”
Reading also can be calming, helping to reduce stress as a result. By losing oneself in a book, worries and stress can melt away, says research conducted in 2009 at the University of Sussex. Measuring heart rate and muscle tension, researchers discovered that study participants needed just six minutes to relax once they began reading. There are many other reasons why reading is good for the mind and body. The following tips can help men and women find more time to read. •
•
•
•
Find small minutes to read. Busy people may think they don’t have the time to devote to reading, but if they read in small intervals, the amount of time will add up. Read during commutes (if you’re not driving), while in physicians’ waiting rooms or during a lunch hour.
It’s okay to quit. If you’re a few chapters into a book and it’s not striking your fancy, it’s okay to trade up for a more interesting tale. Don’t feel obligated to finish a book if you are not engaged. Read paper books. Reading printed books can be a welcome, relaxing change from looking at screens all day. This may inspire you to read more and for longer periods of time. Join a book club. A book club in which you engage with fellow readers can motivate you to read more often.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Make Your Life a Journey to Remember by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach and Author of Escape the Mundane
“Loving and serving others is the only way we can push through the darkness that life will undoubtedly give us. Acts of unconditional love shine a light into the lives of both the giver and the receiver. A light no darkness can hide from.” Patrick Gray, I’ll Push You I have enjoyed working and playing for the past two weeks, first in Park City, Utah and now in Boise, Idaho.
My dear friend, Maryanna Young, lives in Boise and invited me to join her on this creative work trip. One of the heart values that we share in common is a high value of and a great admiration for individuals living well with disability. Last night held a true highlight of this trip. I attended that national premiere of a heart-stopping documentary titled I’ll Push You, based on the true story of best friends Patrick and Justin who braved the famed 500 mile trek known worldwide as the Camino de Santiago. Thousands have completed this famed foot journey, but no one had ever completed it while being pushed in a wheelchair. That changed when Patrick pushed Justin over one of the harshest routes known as the French Way. Maryanna personally knows Patrick Gray and Justin Skeesuck. These two young husbands and fathers make Boise their home. They have been friends for life, having been born less than 24 hours apart. Life changed forever when Justin was diagnosed approximately seven years ago with a rare degenerative disease that is robbing him of the use of his arms and legs. At that time, he was given five years to live. Instead of planning to die, he asked Patrick if he would consider joining him on the Camino de Santiago. Patrick was quick to reply, “I’ll Push You.” I was captivated as I watched these two adventurous best friends embark on a trip that everyone told them was impossible. They traversed 17-20 miles of rugged terrain that only the fittest of athletes would ever attempt. More impressive, they traversed that many miles every day for over five solid weeks, never knowing whether they would even be able to find a hot meal or wheelchair accessible hotel at the end of the day. Have you ever traveled anywhere with a person in a wheelchair? Getting in and out of a car, a library, or a theater can be a challenge. Imagine tackling rocky, muddy, vertical inclines with temperatures that range from winter to dessert heat. I was captured by the energy spent by Patrick as the two never encountered an accessible hotel the entire trip. Patrick would place Justin in a rolling office chair, then drag him onto the tiny elevator then into the tiny hostel rooms.
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
Patrick then had to lift Justin multiple times each day just to make it possible for him to bathe and sleep. He had to do all of this after a grueling twenty-mile trek. It may sound as if Justin had the easy part to just sit and be pushed. He explained with raw emotion how hard it was to humble himself enough to receive such a sacrifice from a friend. Patrick and his sacrifices extended far beyond this once-in-a-lifetime journey. He moved his young family to live near Justin and his family as Justin began losing function. Patrick said that he plans to serve his friend and help him take care of his family as he grows progressively unable to do that on his own. I walked out of the theater pondering such a level of unconditional love and sacrifice. Here are just a few questions you can use to coach yourself to a higher level of selfless living inspired by these two best friends: 1. Ask yourself what areas of life do you find it hard to delegate or receive help. Patrick and Justin quickly realized that this trip was far bigger than the two of them. Many days (most days), they had to recruit pushers, lifters and emotional supports. Follow their lead, and invite trusted friends in where you have tried to carry a heavy load by yourself. Those you invite in will find joy in serving. 2. After this trek, Patrick realized that his job was taking too much of his time and energy away from his young family. He realigned his top priorities that he had lost site of after a big promotion brought more stress and longer hours. How is your life balance? What steps can you take to make sure those you love are getting the best of you, not the left-overs? 3. Justin knows he is living on borrowed time, but he refuses to give a diagnosis power over his life or his identity. How would your life change if you started living as if this was your last article to read, your last week of life, your last day to leave a purposeful legacy? Life is about far more than work, sleep, and another day of work. Take a few moments today to consider how you might join Patrick and Justin on this great journey of making much of your life, your days, and those you love. Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach and Author of international acclaim. Her latest coaching book is FREE at: http://www.kimfletchercoach.com. This book and Kim’s coaching will allow any individual to achieve the title of this resource, Escape the Mundane: Create a Life You Love On Any Budget. Nothing is more important than how you choose to spend your days. Contact Kim directly to learn how a partnership can accelerate your path to your ultimate destiny: kim@kimfletchercoach.com.
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V
ibrant
L ives...
5 Tips for Vibrant Communication
By Nicole Greer, PPCC aka The Vibrant Coach
I need you.
Communication is essential. Period.
And, you need me.
Getting clear on what good communication is and how to do it will increase your efficacy, improve your relationships, and enroll people in your pursuits. Communication is the process by which information is exchanged. This exchange can be by words (either written or oral), symbols, signs, and body language. The goal of effective communication has two parts:
While most of you reading this article are industrious, hard-working, impressive individuals, the truth is you cannot go it alone. You must depend on others. Although you may have a sparkling personality, great skills, and a treasured talent, you don’t have every thing you need to navigate life. The reality is we are limited. When we try to do it all ourselves, we come up short. The possibilities really open up when we hook up with others who compliment and round out who we are at the core. That’s why we get married, join a social club, and have a best friend. These alliances make us stronger. These alliances make our dreams come true. These alliances can change the world. Think about the “individual” who accomplished great things. A World Leader… Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and fiftyfive of his fellow countrymen signed it. Then together, they went to battle for it. A Successful Business Person… The founder of Apple Computers, Steve Jobs, was supported by Joanna Hoffman. The fifth person to be hired into the firm, she stood by Steve’s side, adopted his controversial, risky, vision, and helped him to make crucial contributions to the tech world.
To SEND clear, concise messages. To RECEIVE and correctly understand the messages sent to you. You know when effective communication has occurred when: • The sender messages the receiver • The receiver hears the message • And most importantly there is acknowledgement of the received message. While this might seem obvious, acknowledgment is the missing link. Imagine yourself walking up to a door. You knock. You raise your voice and say, “Hello, anyone home?” Has communication occurred? No. Why? Because, there must be acknowledgment on the other side of the door. Communication is a feedback loop. It is an exchange. Again, it is essential to living a vibrant life, a life pulsating with energy, on a mission and in service to the needs of the world.
A Saint…
Let’s get started!
Mother Teresa helped the poorest of the poor. She managed to grow a thriving order of nuns in the Catholic church at a time when most convents were shrinking. First, her communication of her message influenced the lives of young women to live a life of poverty along side her. Then, the poorest of the poor were served.
Five Tips for Vibrant Communication:
You get the point. All of these famous people had amazing communication skills resulting in serious alliances that multiplied their impact on the world. The fact is: The strength of our alliances are only as strong as our communication.
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
1. Be present in the communication! Give the person you are communicating with your undivided attention. Put away your cell phone. Walk away from the computer. And close the door for some privacy. We live in a very distracting world. With dings, bleeps, and other people vying for attention who interrupt us constantly, it seems almost impossible for us to get a real connection because of all the interruptions. If you want to truly engage, you need to create a space where there is sense of honor and respect for the person in front of you. If you make the person in front of you feel special, worthy, and valued, I promise you’ll have success in communicating your message.
2. Be an active listener! Leadership guru, Stephen Covey stated, “The biggest communication problem is: we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” Instead of thinking about what you are going to say, simply try to commit to your short term memory what the person in front of you is saying. Then, do something AMAZING. Mirror what you just heard back to them. This will create serious synergy. Once you’ve let them know you are REALLY listening, then start to formulate a response. This will slow down the communication and create an environment of trust. 3. Stop making assumptions! You know the old saying, when you assume you make an @$* out of you and me. It’s true. My mentor, Ann Starrette, says to me and to her audiences at retreats consistently, “You never know. So, ask.” She’s right. You probably aren’t clairvoyant! So, ask. Ask questions. Ask a lot of questions until you know that you know what is really going on. Then you can offer a solution, an opinion, and give your two cents.
4. Respond when someone communicates. When someone sends you a message, at least let them know you got it. You may not be ready to respond. You may assume (see previous point) you don’t need to respond. You may not WANT to respond. But, please respond. Communication is what adults do. We have an obligation to acknowledge others. We are supposed to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. If you send out a message, don’t you want someone to say, “Hey! I got it!…??? Again, you can’t go it alone in the world. To think so is delusional! This quote I found sums it up: “The illusion that everything will just turn out magically without having to
communicate thoughts, feelings, and needs in a relationship is an immaturity that will make a true connection impossible.”
5. Illustrate your point! When the receiver of your message looks back at you with a look of confusion on their face, don’t become irritated. Simply illustrate your message. You could draw a picture, you could tell a story, you could use a metaphor, you could do interpretive dance. Simply put, be kind enough to explain. I hope I’ve communicated. Let me know with a response.
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life, and spiritual growth. Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life, executive, and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com and www.thelydiagroup.com
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Raising Your Expectations by Sharon Jaynes
Today’s Truth
“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” -John 10:10
Friend to Friend
When I was in my early twenties, I didn’t have great expectations for what my marriage would be like, if I ever walked the aisle at all. My parents had a horrible marriage. Cycles of heated arguments and physical violence followed by silence and passive aggression were as predictable as the seasons. I became a Christian when I was fourteen and resolved that if I ever got married, it would be to a man who loved Jesus with all his heart. Through the years, I dated many young Christian men, but in my young mind, they seemed boring. So I had a conversation with God that went something like this: “OK God, if I ever get married, it will be to a Christian man. I’m committed to that. I won’t give a guy a second glance unless he is a man who loves You with all his heart. It’s not enough for him to say that he is a Christian. I want to see it in the way he lives his life, the way he uses his words, and the way he relates to other people. I’m going to pay attention to what he laughs at, what he watches on television, and how he handles anger. I know what I’m asking here. I realize that I most likely won’t feel very passionate about this guy. I know that my life will probably be rather dull and boring. But that’s OK. I’m holding out for a Christian man, no matter how humdrum and ho-hum he may be. If I like him pretty well, that’s enough for me.” Oh my goodness! Talk about low expectations! I’m sure God got a big kick out of my request. Several years after my prayer for a mediocre life, I met a guy at a Bible study. He looked over at me, and I melted in a puddle. After a few weeks, Steve Jaynes finally asked me out on a date. “There is a missionary from Jackson, Mississippi, speaking over at Murphy Hall,” he explained. “I’d like to go hear him. Would you like to go with me? ”Well that certainly lined up with my expectations! Steve was handsome; no doubt about that. He was a Christian; that was for sure. But going to hear a missionary on our first date? He was going
pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
to be boring after all. But hey, what did I expect? (Now remember, I was young. I love missionaries! I am one! Just keeping it real.) When he came to pick me up for our date, I had some of my favorite music playing—beach music. It’s a type of 60s R&B Motown type music.“Do you like that kind of music?” he asked “Sure do,” I replied. (I must say I said it with an attitude of “and you gotta problem with that?”)“I do too,” Steve said. “I have an entire collection. Do you know how to Shag (a traditional Southern dance similar to a slow version of the Swing)? I think I heard God laugh.“I’ve been dancing the Shag since I was in the fifth grade,” I said. “Let’s see if we do it the same way,” he said as he grabbed my hand. For twenty minutes, we separated and came together as if we had been dancing together all our lives. He held my hand up and I spun under. He pulled me in and then rolled me out like a scroll. His shuffle kick mirrored my own. You know what? We did go and hear the missionary that night. And afterwards, we went to a favorite college hangout and danced until the doors closed. We had fun, and we haven’t stopped having fun yet. We have grown in God’s grace, and we’ve graced the dance floor. Steve is the most funnest guy I have ever known, and he loves the Lord with all his heart. And to think I actually was ready to settle for just a nice Christian guy. God exceeded my expectations beyond all I ever could have asked or imagined. But this isn’t just about my love story with Steve. It is about my love story with Jesus. And it’s about yours too. Like my prayer for a mediocre-but-nice husband, I fear we have lowered our expectations in our relationship with God. He longs for an intimacy with us that ushers in a deep abiding joy, but I’m afraid we’ve settled for simply nice. Are you ready to raise your expectations in your relationship with
Jesus? Oh sister, He’s got so much to show you, to tell you, to share with you. Don’t settle for “just nice.” Jesus is much more exciting than that!
Let’s Pray
Dear Jesus, forgive me for having such low expectations in our relationship. I know that You came to give me abundant life, not a so-so life. Today, I’m raising my expectations of life to line up with Your word. I’m expecting the abundant life that You came to give!In Your Name,Amen Now It’s Your Turn Look up Zephaniah 3:17 and enjoy!What is one time that you were surprised by God?God wants you to enjoy Him today! Look for moments of sudden glory where He makes His presence known.
More from the Girlfriends
Do you long to feel close to God but sense there’s something missing? That you’ve missed that mysterious formula to make it happen? Do you have a glory ache–a persistent longing to experience God’s presence and working in your life, but not quite sure how to make it happen? If so, my book, A Sudden Glory: God’s Lavish Response to Your Ache for Something More, is just for you. Join me and discover how to erase the lines between the secular and the sacred to experience a deeper, more intimate relationship with God than ever before. While you’re there, you can download a free chapter or watch a video book trailer.
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10 Steps to Moving Forward in 2018 Each December, I have made it a tradition to revisit the year with its best learnings and insights to help me leap into the year ahead with gusto. It is always my hope that this column stirs emotions in positive ways, inspires action in productive ways, and helps you manifest outcomes in enriching and satisfying ways. In reflecting back on the columns written over this past year, consider these steps as you prepare to embark on 2018, with all that it has to offer and may have in store for you, both expected and unexpected. 1) Having Heartfelt Goals: As you review what you have accomplished over this past year and set your goals for next year, assess each goal in why and how achieving it will make you feel deep down. Feel each goal from your heart for what each one will mean to you and for others, to confirm the goal has real meaning and merit to you. 2) Making Yourself a Priority: Allow yourself the kindness and consideration to be a priority to yourself. Don’t allow the many pressures or obligations in your life command your attention away from what matters most to you. Putting yourself first for the right reasons can make you better for others. 3) Making Life Easier: Don’t feel guilty about making life easier for yourself. Instead embrace it for the power that it will give you to do what you really want and desire to be doing. There are a multitude of ways to get things done that don’t solely rely on you. Open yourself to the possibilities and you will set yourself free. 4) Nurturing Your Greatness: Take time each day to nurture what will make you the best person you can be physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. We can each bring great satisfaction to each day through being giving and generous, resilient and resolute, efficient and effective, accepting and all in, while using our talents and tenacity to build upon successes and overcome challenges. 5) Truly Embrace Living: Don’t allow challenges and difficulties put you in a mode of merely existing or getting by. See beyond your present set of circumstance always with hope and faith that it will get better. Be open to possibilities and explore them. Think your best thoughts instead of the worse that could happen. Do what feels good, and take a break, even when you think you cannot possible take the time. That’s when you need it the most. 6) Building a Legacy of Memories: Commit yourself to weaving a tapestry of experiences and moments throughout your day, weeks, and
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
the year that become cherished memories. Allow the experience of being with you and your experience in being with others have meaning that resonates in deeper meaningful ways. 7) Get Out of Your Way: Understand and accept when you are being your greatest critic or limiting what you can and could be doing. Remind yourself of your freedom to choose, freedom to say “no,” freedom to explore and freedom to just be you. Allow your inner spirit to inspire you beyond where you thinking may be holding you back. 8) Cultivate Your Resiliency: There will always be trials and tribulations in your life, and next year will have its fair share just like this past year. Allow a resilient mindset to be your guide through accepting that change is the new norm, expanding your network of support, leveraging our persona strengths, and being open to alternate paths. 9) Give Without Conditions: Give for how it makes you feel and others benefit instead of what you expect in return. Give because it is the right thing to do. Give because it is making a difference. Give because you have been blessed. Give without expecting anything in return, and then be amazed by what transpires when there are no strings attached. 10) Rewrite Your Story: Focus on what you want and will thrill you in the year ahead, and not on what you don’t want or haven’t gotten. Imagine the possibilities and take action steps, no matter how small, to make that vision real. Stop allowing negative influences and past experiences to define what you think about yourself or are telling others. Believe and know that from this point forward you have full control of where your future can take you. The oncoming of a new year can be viewed in two ways. Choose the way that will help you move forward with gratitude, motivate you with its possibilities, and enrich you with unending ways to learn, grow and enjoy the process of living. I wish you a 2018 filled with all that you hold dear and so much more. Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
Did you know?
Millions of people resolve to get healthier by dieting and exercising more frequently at the start of each new year. According to data from the International Health, Racquet & Sportsclub Association, 12 percent of new gym memberships are opened in January. The second week of January is one of the busiest times of year in the fitness industry. But many people who decide to exercise more at the dawn of a new year quickly lose that resolve. New Year’s resolutions to diet may wane as well. In 2016, a UK food company found that of those who diet regularly, two out of five quit within the first seven days, one out of five last a month, and only 20 percent make it to the three-month mark. To make healthy resolutions last longer, people should recognize that results do not happen overnight and should not be discouraged by slow progress. In addition, diet and exercise is not a fast fix, but rather a lifestyle change. With consistent calorie control and exercise, people may see a gradual reduction in weight and other improvements to their overall health. Some may find it most effective to work with a nutritionist and a gym trainer.
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Potential Long-Term Expenses to Account for in Retirement
R
etirement planning involves more than just investing in a 401(k) and/or IRA. Individuals who hope to live comfortably in retirement must account for various expenses, including those associated with their health. A 2013 report from the U.S. Senate’s Commission on Long-Term Care found that each year an estimated 12 million adults in the United States require some type of long-term care. Planning for the following potential expenses can help men and women ensure they will have enough money to live well in retirement.
• Housing: Many individuals would prefer to spend their golden years living in their own homes. However, adults who can no longer take care of themselves and/or their homes may need to move. Homeowners who simply want to downsize may be able to finance their transitions to retirement communities by selling their existing homes. But those who need to move into assisted living facilities may find that even selling their homes might not provide enough capital to pay for such residences. According Genworth’s 2016 Cost of Care Survey, the annual cost of assisted living facilities greatly varies by state, with costs as high as $65,550 in Massachusetts and as low as $30,438 in Missouri. Whether they invest in long-term care insurance or develop another plan with their financial advisors, men and women must consider ways to finance potential housing costs in retirement. • Renovations: Home renovations are another potential cost
pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
in retirement. Aging men and women who can no longer comfortably navigate staircases but are otherwise healthy may need to renovate their homes to account for their limited mobility. Such renovations might include the installation of a staircase chair lift and/or a ramp connected to the entryway of a home. Some may even need to convert a first-floor den or living area into a bedroom, which may also require adding a full bathroom. • Maintenance: Homeowners who want to stay in their homes in retirement must also factor potential maintenance costs into their retirement plans. Aging men and women may no longer be capable of maintaining their properties in retirement. Consider the potential costs of landscaping, home maintenance and maid services when making a retirement plan.
• Transportation: Diminishing vision and slower reaction times compel many retirees to give up driving. But retirees who still enjoy getting out and about will still need a way to get around. Moving to a retirement community with daily shuttle service to and from town centers is one way for seniors who no longer drive to get around. But men and women who do not want to move to such communities will need to find alternative means of transportation, the costs of which can add up quickly. Financial freedom in retirement is a goal for many working professionals. Attaining such freedom involves planning and saving for all potential expenses in retirement.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
a Happy, Warm Fuzzy to You All by Jan McCanless
It’s interesting, the images we conjure up in our minds about holidays. Say Thanksgiving, and instantly, you picture a roasted turkey. Say Christmas, and the answers will vary. Some folks think of a special gift they received, some picture with Santa Claus, others a tree, it varies from person to person. Say Christmas to me, and I immediately think of my grandmothers Christmas tree village, that she and my Aunt Alda put up every year under their tree. It was a glorious, fascinating village, complete with ice skaters, dogs out for a walk, lit up houses,and quaint churches and other structures. As soon as I hit the front door of Nonna’s place, I’d head for that village, moving the skaters around, the miniature people, I’d play with that village all day, and every time I went over there during the holidays, there it would be, everything in it’s place, ready for me to play once again. Now, there were nine of us cousins on my dad’s side of the family, and I don’t know how the older ones felt about it, I fell somewhere in the middle of them, but, to me, and the younger ones, that village was magic! Christmas eve brought all of us together, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandma, and Aunt Alda. After a dinner at the groaning dining room table, including some of Nonna’s legendary macaroni and cheese, and maybe some chocolate cake for dessert, we’d all go into the living room, and open gifts. Everybody there got something, nothing elaborate, and maybe not even expensive, but, it was a remembrance, and we had a wonderful time. All in sight of that wonderful, glorious village she had. Paper, ribbons everywhere, a lot of laughter, full tummies, it was marvelous, and what I always thought Christmas should be.
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
I never had a sister, and, my brother Gregg was always into ‘guy’ things, but, I have a cousin, Shari, 3 years younger than me, and, the closest thing to a sister I have, and she too enjoyed that village. We sometimes would spend the weekend together, at Nonna’s , and we lived fairly close to one another, so, it seemed natural that we would pair up. Between Shari and I, that village was well played with. After my grandmothers death, I wondered whatever happened to all those figurines, the skaters, the houses and churches, I hated to think they were collecting dust in someones attic, or worse yet, given away to someone outside the family. What a tragedy, I thought ! Years went by, and finally I was able to find out that Shari had gotten the village, and I was overjoyed. To think her young grandchildren are now enjoying it, makes me smile. Memories like this are priceless, and it brings home the message to me that Christmas need not be about a lot of gifts, expensive catered meals, but, it is about family, love, being together to celebrate a wonderful and meaningful day. Thinking about Christmas should give you a warm, fuzzy all over, and that’s my special wish for you this holiday. May you have love, family, and a warm, fuzzy !!! Jan McCanless is an award winning author of 13 books, a freelance columnist, and premier southern humorist. a retired teacher. She is grandmother to 9 cherubs and is a commissioned lay minister of the Lutheran faith.
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He Said, She Said
White Elephant Gifts by David and Amy Washco
T
o say it’s been a stressful year is an understatement. We take ourselves and everything so seriously. Thank goodness for Christmas. A time of faith, hope and unity. And since laughter is the best medicine, the holidays are a perfect time for a good belly laugh - the kind of laugh that makes it hard to breathe, turns faces red and has tears rolling down cheeks. Levity is critical to the human spirit. And there’s no better way to foster laughter at Christmas than the time honored “White Elephant Gift Exchange.” How did this tradition get started? Long ago, white albino elephants could not be traded for monetary gain. The maintenance and up keep of these animals came with a heavy price and were ultimately a burden to the owner. The King of Siam, recognizing the dilemma that came with ownership of these unique animals, began to “gift” his white elephants to courtiers who displeased him so that they would be burdened by the cost. Fast forward to today. Family and friends invest a lot of time and energy in finding the ultimate white elephant gift with which to burden their loved ones. In case you are in the market, here are some categories that make great gifts.
She Said... The most memorable white elephant gift categories in my opinion are:
Category 3: Repurposed Treasures Some of the most hilarious gifts are probably hiding in your attic. In a rush one year, I grabbed one of my husband’s old body building competition trophies. It was literally a bronze, muscle-bound guy striking a pose that stood about a foot and a half high. I tied a red bow around its neck and wrapped this repurposed treasure in a box. Once unwrapped, the room was completely silent. I thought it was a dud gift until the entire room erupted in laughter! It was the hit of the party. Ironically, the story of this gift was brought back for many years, but the trophy never resurfaced. Category 4: Classic with a Twist Some gifts are timeless. There’s a classic quality about the gift that invokes a bit of nostalgia. The trick is finding a classic gift with a bit of a twist. It’s the twist on a classic idea that makes it the perfect white elephant gift. Back in the day, the rubber chicken was all the rage. Now, for $7.84 you can purchase an Emergency Inflatable Rubber Chicken. It’s smaller, more convenient, and the fact that you have to inflate it before you use it adds an extra giggle. Even the classic Chia Pet has found a Great gifts don’t have to be expensive. Some of the most memorable way to stay relevant and on the must haves for white elephant parties. Consider the “Emoji Chia.” It’s a yellow round planter complete with white elephant gifts are right under your nose. removable stickers that allow you to match your mood while it grows. Category 1: Common Household Items can show up and raise many eyebrows. One year a friend of mine at the Christmas party chose a big heavy box with much excitement. Everyone in the room was full Caution- there’s a fine line between funny and offensive when it comes of anticipation (I’m sure the person who brought the gift was as well). to gift exchanges. It’s best to avoid gifts that might be perceived as What he pulled out of the box was a fish tank someone had just emptied political, sexual, religious, or racist. The goal is to unite the room in the water and fish out of an hour before the party. As a matter of fact, the laughter, keep the mood light and find a fun gift that no one really wants, tank still had the gravel and plastic plants in it, including the fish smell. but everyone wants to keep.
He Said...
Category 2: Completely random and unexpected items bring much laughter. Amy and I have a saying when it comes to choosing White Elephant gifts, “Bags are good, wrapped boxes are bad.” We figure if someone takes the time to actually box and wrap a gift, it has to be bad. One year I dove right in for an ordinary bag with tissue paper. Much to my surprise, it was a hand carved wooden donkey. Even more surprising, if you lift the donkey’s tail, a cigarette slides out its backside. I kept that item in my office for an entire year, especially since it turned out to be my boss who brought the gift.
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
David and Amy Washco are survivors of divorce and serve as relationship advocates. With a financial and marketing background, they are married and live in Hickory, NC. David and Amy are parents to 18 year old Savannah and 10 year old Riley.
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LIVE GOD’S WORD by Nina Heck
Do you truly believe God’s word or understand how it is relevant in your life? Each month we will look into the bible and find answers to many of the questions you may have about God, who He is and how He wants you to live your life. Together, we will not only read God’s word, but find out how to “Live God’s Word” everyday!
My Deepest Desires - Does God Care?
This scripture passage has great insight into what the Lord asks us to do if we want to obtain the desires of our heart :
Here’s the question: Does God care about the desires of my heart?
1. Trust in the Lord - “Trust” is : reliance on someone’s integrity, strength and ability. God wants us to trust “Him” with our lives and the fulfillment of our desires - not ourselves. 2. Delight in the Lord - “Delight” means: great satisfaction, pleasure and joy. God wants us to see our relationship with Him as a source of great joy and satisfaction - not drudgery. 3. Commit your way to the Lord - “Commit” means: to give something in trust. We must commit our lives to God and follow His leading. We may not always understand why He is leading us in a certain direction, but we must trust Him and follow by faith. 4. Be still before the Lord - The word “still” comes from a Hebrew word meaning to “let go”. We must believe that God has a perfect plan. We need to “let go” of control and trust Him to orchestrate our lives. 5. Wait patiently for Him - Waiting is one of the hardest things we are asked to do - and to do it patiently on top of that! In our “want it now” society, God asks us to wait and watch expectantly for Him to move on our behalf - to allow Him to make it happen, instead of jumping into action on our own. We must trust that God knows what’s best, and that His timing is always perfect.
After reading Psalm chapter 37 a friend asked me, “Does God really care about the desires of my heart? Will He give me anything I want?” I explained that “yes” He does want to give us our desires, but those desires must line up with His will. I told her about this girl who finished high school, but did not go to college. She went to cosmetology school and became a hairstylist. She had no formal training in writing, but had a great desire to write about the bible in ways that would make it easier for people to understand. She began writing small group bible studies for her church because they had no materials to use. She later changed churches and was asked by her new Pastor to lead a small group from a book he had read, so she wrote the studies to teach that class. This same Pastor envisioned all the small groups in their church following a sermon based study. After seeing the study she wrote to go along with that book, he asked if she could write a bible study to go with his sermon each week. She said “yes” and wrote those studies for 8 years. Then she met a man who was starting a Christian newspaper and looking for writers. He asked her to write for them and she did so for almost two years. Then, a woman who ran a local Christian magazine saw her articles in that newspaper, and asked her to write for them. She said “yes” and still writes for them today. The magazine is called “Sophie” and that girl is actually me! You see, I had a longing in my heart to write - I prayed and told the Lord my desire - and He gave me the desire of my heart. Psalm 37: 3-5 & 7 states, “Trust in the LORD and do good; Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him”(NIV)
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
If we practice these 5 things, our desires should come into alignment with God’s will. What longings or desires has God placed in your heart? Don’t ever be afraid to ask Him to make them come true. Remember, God truly does want to give you any desire that lines up with His will - And I am personally so thankful for that! Nina Heck has been married to her husband Kim, for over 30 years. Their greatest joy is their family - Amber, Austin and his wife Rachel, and their grandchildren Allie, Alek and Ellie. A retired hairstylist, she now has more time for her true calling - teaching God’s word in a way that will make it relevant and easy to understand. You can reach her at ninamiracles@gmail.com
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God’s Good Plan by Patricia Middleton
WHAT A GIFT! Have you ever wondered how time passes so quickly? One week we’re planting flowers to spruce up the yard, opening windows to catch a fresh breeze, observing new life hidden under an obscure bush, and viewing the once bare trees now adorned with new green apparel. Spring has pounced upon us as quickly as a spry little kitten! We sigh with relief and breathe in the fresh air. It seems no sooner than we complete our Spring cleaning, we are reminded by the sweet squeals of rambunctious children that Summer vacation is arriving. Wait! Where did Spring run off to? We are now off to the races preparing for a busy summer schedule. The organization of it all makes our head spin! Managing and multi-tasking becomes mandatory in order to have a not so carefree, but enjoyable summer. We now have the pleasure of observing the most thrilling dance of the seasons as trees begin blushing and undressing for the entrance of Autumn and Winter. The seasonal cycles are both breath taking and amazingly rapid. As we are all passengers on this spiraling flight through seasons, there are some gifts we all desire. We desire stability, security, and rest for our very souls. Is this attainable? As we read Matthew chapter 1 in the Word of God we find this precious gift we long for. Praise God there IS such a gift! This GIFT is Jesus Christ the Messiah! His miraculous birth was orchestrated by Father God Himself... to save us, redeem us,
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
restore us, and guide us into victorious relationship with Him both now and throughout eternity. He never changes, yet He lovingly changes us through His Holy Spirit, by giving peace, comfort, and strength for ALL SEASONS. Oh, what joy to know that this secure gift of Jesus is attainable! (John 3:16) Hallelujah! You may wonder how this baby born in a manger could bring us the gifts our hungry souls need? As we continue to read through the gospels we see baby Jesus did not remain a baby. This child, the son of Almighty God, grew in all wisdom and stature as He became our perfect example for traveling through the seasons of life. Costly gifts were given to this child upon His arrival, but the value of the gift He gave to mankind can never be measured. He gave His Very Life, that we may be assured of eternal life. Oh, What a Gift! Seasons come and seasons go, but our only sure foundation is found in the precious gift of Jesus the Christ. We’re secure in knowing that He Never Changes! (Hebrews 13:8) As we arrive into this Joyous Christmas Season with family and friends, let’s not forget the GIFT of all Gifts.... Jesus! HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! Patricia Middleton is a dedicated mother and grandmother, ministry leader, retired educator, tutor, and author. She has published two delightful children’s books that present biblical truth through teachable stories and lovely illustrations: Given Strength and What Shall We Give Him? They can be found at Amazon.com, Barnes&Nobel. com, or OutskirtsPress.com. Patricia has been honored to serve as guest author/reader at various churches, daycares, schools, and summer reading programs. Her greatest passion is sharing God’s Word.
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Did you know?
Longevity in marriage is something to be celebrated. Couples who reach fiftieth and sixtieth wedding anniversaries often commemorate those anniversaries with big parties. But there are some around the world who would consider golden anniversary celebrants to still be newlyweds. In December 2015, Karam Chand, 110, and his wife, Kartari Chand, 103, from Bradford, West Yorkshire (originally from India), celebrated their 90th wedding anniversary, becoming the world’s longest-betrothed couple. In America, John and Ann Betar, ages 104 and 100, respectively, have been married 83 years as of 2016. The couple eloped in 1932. They have been named one of America’s longest-married couples by the Worldwide Marriage Encounter.
Wishing You A Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year! We would like to thank all of our clients for a great year in 2017 and we look forward to creating many more beautiful smiles in 2018! What big events do you have coming up in 2018? Now is the time to start planning for next year. Contact us today to schedule your consultation and be on your way to a big beautiful smile!
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pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
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Potatoes Perfect for the Holiday Breakfast Table Holiday dinners may get all the glory, but men and women who 1. Arrange a rack at center position and preheat the oven to host friends and family each holiday season know that time spent 400 F. with loved ones at the breakfast table can be just as enjoyable as 2. In a large, heavy, ovenproof frying pan (preferably cast iron) breaking bread in the evening. A homecooked meal first thing in set over medium heat, sauté the pancetta until golden and the morning is a great way to start the day, and hosts who want crisp, 5 to 7 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon to drain to serve up something familiar with a little extra flavor can try on paper towels. the following recipe for “Skillet-Roasted Potatoes with Mush- 3. Remove all but 2 tablespoons of the drippings from the pan. rooms and Pancetta” from Betty Rosbottom’s “Sunday Brunch” (If you don’t have 2 tablespoons, add olive oil to make this (Chronicle Books). amount.) When hot, add the potatoes and sauté, stirring, until they start to take on a little color, 5 to 7 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and place the frying pan in the oven. Roast Skillet-Roasted Potatoes with Mushrooms and Pancetta for 15 minutes. Serves 4 4. Remove the frying pan from the oven and add the mushrooms, garlic and the 3 tablespoons of olive oil. Add the 4 ounces pancetta, cut into 1⁄4-inch cubes (see note) dried thyme and season with more salt and pepper. Toss to 3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more if necessary coat well. 1 pound Yukon gold potatoes, unpeeled, scrubbed and quartered 5. Return the pan to the oven and roast until the potatoes are Kosher salt golden brown and tender and the mushrooms are softened, Freshly ground black pepper about 15 minutes more. Remove the frying pan from the 10 ounces cremini or brown mushrooms, quartered oven and stir in the reserved pancetta. If desired, garnish the 6 garlic cloves, peeled and halved crosswise center of the pan with fresh thyme sprigs. Serve warm. 2 teaspoons dried thyme Several fresh thyme sprigs for garnish (optional) Note: If buying pancetta from a deli, ask for it to be cut thickly into 1⁄4-inch slices. Prepackaged pancetta is often thinly sliced.
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2017
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Friday, January 26 at 5:30p.m.
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74 8th Street SE | Hickory, NC Annual “fun�draising event forFrye Regional Medical Center cancer patients. Live Musical Entertainment | Fantastically Decorated Bra Competition Silent Auction | Vote on your favorite bra!
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