VOLUME 10 - ISSUE 2 / April 2014
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phie Woman’s Magazine
INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Can You Cease Striving? | Page 15 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ Are You A World Changer? | Page 6 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are You Counting Breaths or Moments? | Page 29 shutterbuggerz pg 35
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Message
Heart
from the
From The Editor: Judy Smith
Well, the official date on the calendar for the beginning of spring was March 20th. With all the wacky weather, I am not sure there really was a beginning. Most people are now talking about going straight from winter to summer. If that is the case, then someone needs to tell me when I am supposed to do my Spring Cleaning. Cleaning is not one of my favorite things. Instead, I can always watch an episode of “Hoarding” and realize how fantastic my house looks. However, the greatest motivator is when someone is coming over. I get more cleaning done in the ten minutes before they arrive than I do in a week. One of my friends has CCD (Compulsive Cleaning Disorder). If I know she is coming, I don’t do a thing. The minute she walks in the door she is picking up things and putting them away. We have the best visits over coffee. Her cleaning and me drinking coffee, that is, if I can keep her from washing my cup before I have finished the pot. Cleaning fits in the same category as exercise. I have great intentions to exercise, in fact, I have a ton of instructional videos. On the rare occasions I get the urge, I pop in a video……and I watch. Have you ever noticed how entertaining they are? Jillian Michaels is like watching an action movie about being in boot camp. Drop and give me 20 more! Shaun Thompson, with his 60-day workout challenge called “Insanity”….well it is just insane. Then there is Tim Ferris with his superhuman books on the 4-hour Workweek, the 4-hour Body and the 4-hour Chef. I am most motivated with the 4-hour Workweek… just sayin. There is a Zumba guy on TV that I just love to watch dance and then there is Richard Simmons. We have to give him credit for the way he has brought us fashion and laughter, all at the same time. Let’s get back to this “Spring” thing. We cannot skip spring. I need my whole year, all four seasons. Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. I need to get the Spring Cleaning done, even if I don’t like to. I need to exercise, even if I don’t like to. OK, let’s just tackle one thing at a time. Here is the best advice on cleaning your house I have ever heard. 1 .Open a new file in your PC. 2. Name it “Housework.” 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN. 4 Empty the RECYCLE BIN. 5 Your PC will ask you, “Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?” 6. Calmly answer, “Yes,” and press mouse button firmly...... 7. Feel better? Works for me! (Advice from Maxine) Seriously, the best cleaning advice that I can give (and take myself) is to work at keeping our minds clean. Our minds get full of clutter and trash that add nothing of value to our daily living. I am not sure any of use can completely do that but I do know the more good stuff we put it, the less bad stuff we have room for.
The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. ~ William James
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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 6 Sophisticated Women............................................pg 8 The Front Porch......................................................pg 11 Family Meetings..................................................pg 12 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 15 BecauseSometimes,TheOnlyTimeYouHaveIsToday...pg 17 What Took You So Long?.................................pg 18 Can You Pass The Test?.....................................pg 20 Storybook Beginnings..........................................pg 23 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 29 Back To Nature....................................................pg 30 The Hoopla About Pelvic Health........................pg 32 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 33 Where’s Sophie?..................................................pg 34 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 35
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********************************************************** Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or it’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. **********************************************************
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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Building World Changing Leaders: Part 1 by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, World Changer
“Greatness is not about personality. It’s about humility, plus will. That is where the essence of leadership begins.” ~ Jim Collins, Good to Great If I have learned one thing in my twelve years of professional coaching, it is that there is a leader within each of us. Some embrace it, some run from it, others just waste it… but nevertheless, the leader is there. My own simple definition of a leader is a “world changer”… one who seeks to make his or her circle of influence better by their own presence. It might bother some that I used “World Changer” as part of my title at the header of this article. But think with me for a moment. Will I ever change my own world unless I first envision myself one who possesses the wisdom and the tools to do so? It isn’t arrogance. It is hope! I once heard a speaker say that if just one person has ever followed you, then YOU ARE A LEADER! So, whether you have led a fellow peer into bullying another student or you have befriended a struggling individual, you have been a leader. The question then becomes not simply “Am I a leader?” The true question is “What kind of a leader am I and what am I doing with my influence?” This article has two parts. This month, I want to awaken the leader within each of us. Next month, I want to share a few more specific thoughts for those interested in leading the younger generations. I was recently gifted a great book. Brad Lomenick authored The Catalyst Leader: 8 Essentials For Becoming A Change Maker. Here I would like to list his 8 keys (in all caps) and then share my own thoughts on each. 1. CALLED: Life calling links your daily actions and decisions to your highest purpose. Take some time to (re)awaken your deepest callings. Coach yourself by considering the following questions. “I am in my element when________.” What cause or concern do you have that sparks your deepest compassion? The only lives truly worth living are lived from the place of calling. This is NOT a reality reserved for state leaders or ministers. IT IS FOR YOU! 2. AUTHENTIC: I came away from a recent meeting refreshed by an individual I had just met. My entire thoughts could be summed up in just one phrase: “Wow, he was authentic.” Authenticity is SO RARE in our culture of copy artists and conceit that it just may be the only weapon you need to set yourself apart in life or in business. Heidi Baker often says,
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2014
3.
4.
5. 6.
7.
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“Copies are worthless, but ORIGINALS are priceless.” Dare to be YOURSELF! And encourage others to do the same. PASSIONATE: When I think of my entire circle of closest friends, this one word could describe each of them. Passionate people change things and they find great joy and purpose in doing so. Yet far too many people have placed all of their passion on the shelf. We complain we are too busy. Too busy to fish. Too busy to read out loud to each other. Re-awaken one of your greatest passions and invest time and energy in its pursuit. Awakening your passionate heart will awaken your inner leader and your creative energy. CAPABLE: This one is simple. Don’t get the ‘dime-store degree’. Find something you desire to do and begin gaining the credible credentials and skills required. This will make you marketable and give you a lasting edge. Check out your local community college’s continuing education department as a great place to start. COURAGEOUS: Someone once said that courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to move forward in the face of fear. That sums it up! PRINCIPLED: Like authenticity, in today’s world, the principled individual stands out like the best-dressed person in the room. Principled means you live out of character and integrity when others are watching, and when they ARE NOT! Want to change your life? Then take an action every day that lets others know who and what you stand for. HOPEFUL: Hope fuels our best tomorrows. Without it, we may not survive the change that is yet to come in the world. My source of hope is Jesus. I would mislead you if I gave you any strategy to build your hope reserves other than Him. COLLABORATIVE: This last point really sums it all up for me. A co-worker of mine once said, ‘Your network is your net worth.’
I attended a conference where one speaker said that it is as important to know your TRIBE as it is to know your PURPOSE. Link arms with a few individuals who call you up to a higher level in all these areas. Make this a priority for 2014. Having like minded individuals who challenge each other to the next level is a timeless success strategy. Kim would love to share these principles with your group or organization. Kim would also love to hear your life and leadership stories. You may contact her team of coaches and speakers directly at: www.kimfletcherassociates.com / kimfletchercoach@ aol.com. To learn more about the author who inspired part of this article, visit: www.catalystleader.com.
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Sophisticated Women...
Know It’s “Both” & “And” By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
A vibrant life requires both a fixed notion of morality and fluidity to its application. I believe that there are basic tenets to which all humanity must ascribe. We do need, as Thomas Ferris states in his classic essay Is Morality Fixed or Fluid?, “buoys through the narrows of our lives” that act as guidelines and rules in our lives that restrict us and provide recommendations for living life. During my childhood, my grandmother lived with us off and on. She was a German grandma with lots of restrictions that became recommendations for my life. She had lots of rules about lots of things. There were rules about: how to eat, how to dress, what to say, and especially how to act in public. These were requirements. I had to chew with my mouth closed. I had to wear clean underwear. I had to say please and thank you. I had to be quiet and keep my hands to myself. These rules shaped my morality. I learned that first impressions matter. I learned that courtesy and kindness open doors to relationships. I learned that listening and respecting other’s belongings builds trust. As a child, you do not understand these ideals unless you are required to live them out and experience their benefit. As an adult, you can easily reflect back and clearly see that these requirements of childhood live on into your adult life as recommendations. I am grateful for Grandma Myrt’s childhood requirements that to this day operate as recommendations for my adult living. In the context of living the life of a sophisticated woman, we need requirements as well. In fact, all adults would be well served to take on Grandma Myrt’s requirements, but as we get older the temptations grow larger. Adults are left to engage their own choice, make their own decisions, and live out their own will. Adults need rules about behavior to handle these temptations. The best example of requirements is the law found in another rock solid classic, The Ten Commandments. I do believe that these rules are required. I believe that humanity as a whole benefits from their use. I most certainly want to live in a world where people believe
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2014
that there is a God watching over us who requires love and respect. A good, solid awareness of a greater being keeps you conscious to your decisions. I certainly want to live in a world that slows you down for a day to acknowledge the Creator’s existence through gathering together in worship. Imagine the whole world at one time in a state of observance noticing how good planet earth is, how interconnected we really are and Who brought us all into being? Wouldn’t that create great consciousness to our behaviors and how they can impact the world as a whole? I certainly want to live in a world where I am given a long life because I honored the people who raised me. I certainly want to live in a world where I do not worry about murder, adultery, stealing, lies, and jealousy. How can these requirements be anything but good? The issue of fixed versus fluid morality is an issue of maturity. It’s a ‘both and’ situation. I need requirements as a child to serve as recommendations for my adult life. Humanity was designed to move through childhood into adulthood. Childhood is for requirements, instruction, and obedience. Adulthood is for living out childhood requirements from a grown-up moral perspective. As a child, it is uncomfortable to behave. There are lessons to learn and punishments to bear. But as you learn the fact that the buoys or requirements keep you from danger, you accept them. You no longer insist on having your own way feeling trapped by the requirements, you grow up and simply get in the flow. As a 47-year old sophisticated woman, I have a morality that is fluid. It doesn’t restrict me. It informs my choices. It allows me to move in the world powerfully. Like a great river in the structure of the canyon, I use what has shaped me to shape the world around me. At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
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pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2014
Front The
Porch by Judy Smith
As I try to enjoy my coffee on the deck, I am totally distracted by these flying critters they call bees. Just so you know, I am not afraid of these tiny creatures. I just don’t understand how I can have so many of them when I can’t grow flowers. Is that not supposed to go hand in hand? Maybe I missed the class about how bees are supposed to pollinate plants and trees. Or maybe, my bees just don’t realize they have a job to do other than irritate me. However, the bees are the least of my worries. I have the patience of Job when they fly about my face. A statue could not stand any more motionless than I can and you know that if you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you. Bologna! Whoever in the world started that saying must have been the same person who came up with April’s Fool Day. From experience, I can assure you, they don’t have to be antagonized to reach out and touch someone. If you can get away, you need to run for the hills. There was a reason Muhammad Ali used the saying “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee”. That sting hurts for days on end! Snakes are other creatures that you might observe from my deck. Did you know that there are over 30 different species of snakes in North Carolina? Some folks don’t seem to care if it is a harmless little garter snake or a copper head. They are just totally frightened by these slithering, beady-eyes creatures. Not I....just as long as they know what their space is and they know what my space is. What interrupts my quite space the most....SPIDERS. I am extremely terrified. It is safe to say I suffer from an extreme case of Arachnophobia of which there is no cure. Oh, you might argue with me and tell me that anyone can overcome their fears but I beg to differ. Maybe you can overcome your fear of snakes, maybe you can even overcome your fear of falling from an airplane 1000 miles up headlong into a dumpster, but I cannot overcome arachnophobia. I have tried. There are classes on overcoming fears but I seriously think we need to start a Spiders Anonymous group. When I tried to find help, I found out there were 12 things you could do to start you on the road to being arachnophobia free. Let me just share with you one of those steps. This is number six. When you see a spider on the wall, stand far away from it. They are kidding, right? Run and scream is more like it. Then it goes on to say, just stand there and keep looking at it “till you stop feeling scared”. I ask you, what happens when it moves and I pass out on the floor and it crawls on top of me? Who can answer me that? The advice just gets more ridiculous. “Slowly move a little closer and stand for some time. Keep doing it till you are next to or very close to the spider. Keep in mind that it will not harm you.” Yeah, says who? There is more....”Then try to scare the spider away. Keep chasing it out of the room or whatever area you are in”. Here’s my question about that. Who is chasing who? Here is the last line of step number six. “When you have done that, you will feel that you are not scared of spiders anymore.” Wow....now I feel like I can conquer the world; just not that itty bitty spider that just ran up the water spout.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
Family Meeting:
How an Hour a Week Can Promote Lasting Peace in Our Homes by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC
Have you noticed how life just gets busier as kids get older? Sometimes it can feel like the only thing uniting our families is our last name and the home we share. All too often our hectic lifestyle makes it increasingly difficult to clearly communicate rules and expectations we have about our kid’s curfews, cars, technology, chores, and other areas that provoke daily dramas. Even when we think we have clearly discussed a limit, all too often our teens insist they never quite heard or understood what was expected of them. As a result a disagreement about phone usage can suddenly escalate into a very heated argument that leads everyone feeling extremely angry and disconnected. We scratch our heads and wonder how our kids could have ever missed or misread our expressions.
meeting. Before you roll your eyes and resist the idea of adding one more meeting to your life, consider for a moment what the Bible says about the importance of meeting together.
Arguments like these easily disrupt the rhythm and peace of the home by sapping our energy as we continually address frequent misunderstandings about boundaries and consequences. These types of battles can be significantly minimized, however, when we employ a tool that many workplaces regularly utilize. In fact, according to one website, this tool is implemented 11 million times each day in companies and organizations across the United States. There is no reason this great idea can’t be used in our homes as well. The tool to which I am referring is the weekly
All too often we end up setting our rules and expectations in a rather spontaneous and haphazard way. We assume our kids understood what we expect and hope for the best. Family meetings can minimize the stress and constant conflict that emerges when we establish boundaries and consequences on the fly. This regular time together allows you the opportunity to love and encourage your kids in a productive manner. Not only that, when family members discuss problems when they are not in the midst of an argument, everyone is able to express their thoughts and opinions more rationally and respectfully.
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25(NIV) Meetings can be a place where we love and encourage one another to rise to the standards we have set in our home. This time can actually become a rich place where teens are both challenged and affirmed.
Just as a business adjusts meetings to address specific needs, family meetings can be modified by your family to address a wide variety of areas that are being bypassed or neglected due to the busyness of day to day living. To help you create a basic structure for your family meeting, however, you might want to think about a plan and purpose before you gather together. • Set. Pick a time when everyone is available. The predictability of the meeting allows you to set aside your temptation to nag or lecture on the fly and instead, rationally and reasonably present your concern to everyone at the same time. Your kids can also use this time to appropriately bring up problems that affect the whole family as well. • Record. In a notebook or on a poster board, record and review the expectations and consequences that were communicated and agreed upon. Sometimes these
agreements or decisions may need to be posted in common areas to remind everyone of the rule, the reinforcement and/ or the result of any disobedience. •
Review. Look ahead at the week before you. Discuss expectations and address any potential problems or challenges that may arise.
•
Connect. Even though meetings become the place where problematic behaviors and boundary crossings should be addressed, the mood of the meeting should be upbeat and positive. Since family meetings are ultimately about creating deeper connections and more peaceful homes, engage in conversations and creative activities that will foster rich relationships. End your time together by eating or creating a dessert, playing an indoor or outdoor game, going on a family walk or watching a movie.
•
Encourage. Too often our teens hear words that correct, command or even criticize their behavior. Share positive observations and let them know when you see change. Model humility by acknowledging and confessing your own shortcomings. Offer love and grace to your kids when their week has been far from ideal. Let your kids know you are for them and for your family as you optimistically expect continued growth and development.
Even if there is a bit of resistance when you begin to implement these meetings, press on. Over time family meetings can become a powerful vehicle that prevents miscommunications and misunderstandings that rob families of peace and unity. As our teens begin to disconnect from home and step toward life apart from your family, these meetings can be the one place where they experience genuine encouragement to love and serve others well. This small space in your week can not only prevent a lot of stress but it can offer everyone a chance to stop, breathe, reflect, express and connect in a life changing way.
Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor. For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www. jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.
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Cease Striving by Sharon Jaynes
Today’s Truth
Quiet! Be still! (Mark 4:39, NIV)
Friend to Friend
One January morning, I asked God, “What do You really want from me?” I had just finished a big writing project and was ready to tackle the next big thing for God. I snuggled in my favorite den chair with a steamy cup of coffee and my well-worn Bible to spend some alone time with my Heavenly Father. I read a few verses and said my prayer. Check. Check. When I started to get up, I felt God’s invisible strong hand holding me back. He wasn’t finished. Be still and know that I am God, He seemed to say. Cease striving. Suddenly, I saw myself with the disciples caught on the stormy Sea of Galilee. As I pondered the past twenty-five years of my life, I saw myself reeling in the waves of ceaseless activity. A squall of busyness raging around me—and in me. Reeling from one foamy crest of work and deadlines to the next and hanging on for dear life. In my mind’s eye, the fellow passengers were not the motley crew of the first century disciples, but women from every walk, trying to steady themselves in the turbulent waters of life. Perhaps you were in the boat with me. “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” they asked. “Help us!” Then I sensed Jesus speaking to me just as He had spoken to the raucous wind and waves, “Quiet! Be still! Settle down!” So I sat. After a few moments, I realized I didn’t really know how to be quiet and settle down. I had never mastered the full idea of “be still and know.” I knew that God was God. It was the “be still” part that stumped me. Sitting still was not in my nature, and perhaps it was my nature God was trying to tame. My “nature” or natural bent of working for God was standing in the way of my worship of and communion with God. My daily routine of sanctioned quiet times was getting in the way of the divine romance in which He wanted me to engage. Does it surprise you that I could say such words? Oh friend, I am nothing if I am not honest. I have that glory ache, the longing to experience God’s presence and working in my life, just like you. Sometimes I can get so busy doing, doing, doing, that God’s gentle whisper drawing me closer is drowned out by the noises of my own making. How sad to admit, that sometimes when God extends his hand to invite me onto the dance floor of life, my dance card is already full. Many nights I lean over to turn out the bedside lamp, collapse in exhaustion, and sigh, “maybe tomorrow, Lord.” I don’t think “be still and know” comes naturally to any of us. Aren’t
we taught to get moving? “Keep your eye on the ball.” “Focus on the target.” “If you don’t’ know where you are going, you probably won’t get there.” Motivational phrases for sure. But this was God talking, and He had a different message. While the world prods, “Don’t just stand there, do something!” God was telling me quite the opposite. “Don’t just do something, stand there.” Now He had my attention. So I stayed put. “OK God,” I asked, “What do You really want from me? He surprised me. He often does, when I take the time to listen. Acts 17:28 came to mind. I believe He put it there. In Him we live and move and have our being. Learn what that means, He seemed to say. I opened my Bible again and read the words, pondering each phrase individually. In Him. We live. And move. And have our being. I sensed God speaking to my heart. That’s where you will find the secret to satisfy that glory ache. That’s the answer you are searching for. That’s where you will find what your sisters hunger for. You’ve been asking the wrong question. It’s not what I want from you. It’s what I want for you. And in this one little verse, you’ll find the key—not just for yourself, but also for others in the boat with you. This will calm the squall of your frantic heart. God startled me that morning. I was expecting Him to give me a new assignment—something to do for Him. Another project to complete. Another study to devour. Another cause to support. But He surprised me. It was none of the above. It was one verse. In Him we live and move and have our being. I wondered, could this be the key to unlock the door behind which the salve to satisfy that glory ache was hidden? The door upon which I had been knocking far too long? I was excited to accept God’s invitation as He extended His hand for mine. Today, I encourage you to take it too.
Let’s Pray
Dear Lord, Sometimes, I am not just caught in the storm, I am the storm. Help me get quiet, settle down, and listen. Today, I am living in You. I am moving in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s your Turn
Go back and read the story of Jesus calming the storm in Mark 4:35-41. Have you ever said these words to God, or at least thought the words, “Don’t you care?” Jesus cared. Jesus cares. He’s just not worried. Today, here’s what I want you to remember. Jesus is in the boat with you. If that gives you comfort, click over to our Facebook page and leave a comment that says: Jesus is in the boat with me.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
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Because Sometimes, the Only Time You Have is Today! by Danielle Ayers Jones
T
he pastor asked if anyone wanted to share something at the funeral, and she stood up, shaky and brave. “My dad and I have had some tough times ever since I was a teenager,” she said. “The last time we talked we got into an argument, and I hadn’t spoken to him in two years. Suddenly all those hurts don’t mean anything if I could have him back one more time for one more conversation. While he was laying in the hospital in a coma I was able to tell him I was sorry and that I still love him. I don’t know for sure if he even heard me, but maybe it was more for me to be able to hold his hand, kiss his cheek and tell him one more time “Daddy I love you.” In my heart I have truly forgiven my father for all those past hurts and I hope before he passed he was able to forgive me.” A few sniffles echo in the quiet church sanctuary. She cleared her throat and pushed on, her voice growing stronger. “But what I want to say to you is DO NOT WAIT to fix broken relationships. But I also want to say don’t hold onto your hurts and withhold forgiveness from the ones you love, you may never get the chance to mend it. Leave this funeral today and go make it right as best as you can. You don’t know if you have an hour, or a day, or a week. My time ran out. Yours doesn’t have to. I have the peace that comes from God, that one day I will see my father again in heaven and everything will be understood. Thank you Lord, for loving me and my father in spite of us. Thank you God, for forgiving us even when we couldn’t forgive each other, and
thank you Jesus for making a place in Your Father’s house for me and my father. ” My cousin sits back down in her pew. In the past year my family has lost six family members. Some deaths were anticipated due to old age and ill health. Other deaths came swiftly and unexpectedly. And it’s got me wondering what kind of impact will my life— and death—have? What will I leave behind? Will I leave behind unresolved relationships filled with bitterness and regret at my passing? Or will my family know without a shadow of a doubt my love for them through my words and actions? Will I do all within my power to not let strife destroy my dearest relationships? Out of all the deaths our family experienced over the past year, two of them involved estranged relationships between a parent and adult child. Parents made choices that hurt their children so deeply that wounds were never healed while both were living. Differences weren’t worked through. Relationships were cut off. Angry words were spoken. Forgiveness was withheld. I do not want that legacy. As a parent to three young children it has been a sharp reminder that eventually all relationships end in death. “In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die / And where you invest your love, you invest your life,” sing Mumford and Sons in “Awake My Soul.” I want to invest my love—through words and actions—in my family and make sure they feel valuable and securely loved. I’m very aware I will not do this perfectly. I will wound and speak angry words. I will not always be patient and kind because my love is not perfect. But I know the One who is perfect and His Holy Spirit resides in me. I’m trusting that as I nurture my relationship with Jesus and keep close to Him, He will guide me in all my other relationships. His love is the only love that never fails. When I fail and wound others, I pray He’ll help me bind those hurts up. To put in action Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Because you’ll never know when time will run out. When the car doesn’t stop at the intersection, or the heart attack hits in the church parking lot. Because sometimes the only time you have is today. Danielle Ayers Jones has been a contributing writer for the online magazine, Ungrind, and has written for Thriving Family, Clubhouse, Jr., Radiant, and Relevant. She also combines her love of writing and photography on her blog, www.danielleayersjones.com. It’s a space where she seeks to find beauty in everyday places, joy in hardship, and encouragement in unexpected places. Danielle currently lives in Maryland with her husband and three children. You can follow her on Twitter @daniajones.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
FOR ALL THE MEN IN OUR LIVES WHO ASK,
“WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG IN THE RESTROOM”?
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it’s your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won’t latch. It doesn’t matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern “seat covers”(invented by someone’s Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn’t - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume “ The Stance.” In this position your aging, toneless (God I should have gone to the gym!!!) thigh muscles begin to shake. You’d love to sit down, but you certainly hadn’t taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold “The Stance”. To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother’s voice saying, “Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!” Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that’s still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That will have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It’s still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn’t work. The door hits your purse,which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. “Occupied!” you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2014
your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it’s too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you’re certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, “You just don’t KNOW what kind of diseases you could get”.
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By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in, too. At this point, you give up. You’re soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You’re e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can’t figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, ..... so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman’s hand and tell her warmly, “Here, you just might need this”. As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men’s restroom.
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Annoyed, he asks, “What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?” ........... This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms (rest??? you’ve GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It’s so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under the door!
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Can You Pass The Test? By Stefanie Hutcheson Lately my grandsons have been playing a lot with magnifying glasses, flashlights, and mirrors. They are enthralled with what shows up under those glasses that they were unaware of before, things that to the naked eye go unobserved. Yesterday, as the youngest one was in the bathroom, he picked up a handheld mirror and began looking at himself. He tried many different angles and I watched amusedly as he looked at different parts of his body that he couldn’t usually see, such as an elbow or armpit. I tried to show him how to look in the mirror at the mirror behind and see two of himself but he’s only three and Granny trying to “take” his mirror from him was just not going to happen. Isn’t it funny how little kids teach us so much? As I’ve watched these boys over the last few days, playing their investigative games and making new discoveries, seeing how light passing through objects makes reflections on other parts of the room, I couldn’t help but think of this verse from 2 Corinthians 13:5: Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? Examine yourselves. Indeed! That’s what my gsons were doing-- and what I need to be doing as well. What is showing up in my life that I am unaware of? What have I neglected to focus on (perhaps a precancerous mole or a precancerous spiritual flaw) that needs tending to? What is reflecting behind me that I didn’t realize was showing the world who I am? Did I have a big rat’s nest in my hair? Was part of my shirt tucked in while the other part looked a mess? Was my face saying one thing while the rest of me was negating that with the other parts of my body? Test yourselves to see that Christ is in you. Hmm. My spiritual vision is probably not 20/20. If I had to rely on others’ opinions of what I am projecting, would I pass the test? But that’s not what this verse says. I cannot rely on others: I am to examine myself. Me. I. Do I see Christ Jesus in me? Sigh. Oh boy. But wait! I do! I do see Him! There He is, shining through my eyes as I greet the world with a smile. There He is, loving through my arms as I embrace these two boys whom I love so dearly. There He is, coming through the oldest one’s voice as he asks me nearly each time he is over “Granny, can we do a Bible Study?” with excitement in his voice. There Jesus is, in my heart that has finally accepted and forgiven the things I cannot change. There is God when I lie awake at night, talking to Him of my day, sharing with Him my thoughts, thanking Him for saving my soul. Do I get an A+? Umm, probably not. There is still much to hone up on to pass the ultimate test. But through the grace of God, yes: I pass the test! I have Christ in me, and that is my hope of glory. Let’s pray! Dear Lord: You’ve done it again! You use these precious grandsons of mine all the time to teach me Your truths and I am so thankful for them. In a world where it is so hard to find a church that stands for You, I need go no further than my own family to see how simple Your Words are and how easy to apply them without compromising on the basic truths of them. They are the church. I am the church. May You shine forth through us as we seek to know and love You more, better, each day is my prayer. Amen!
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2014
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
Reducing
Wedding Pitfalls by Mackey S. Carpenter www.mscdesigns.net
Shane Stockwell & Katherine Loch Mr. And Mrs. Joseph Loch of Newton are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter, Katherine Loch to Shane Stockwell, son of Mr. And Mrs. Randy Stockwell of Conover. The future bride is a 2006 graduate of Maiden High School and is employed by Shuford Credit Union. The future groom is a 2006 graduate of BMC Durfee High School and is employed by Hobby Lobby. A May 2015 wedding is planned. pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2014
This is a little extra information that might be of some use for you during your wedding planning process. Some of this has been compiled over time and has helped many of our brides avoid some of the common pitfalls and reduce the stress that naturally occurs during this time. There will be many bridal showers and parties throughout the months preceding your wedding. To simplify things, register for gifts that you really want or need. Don’t go for the most expensive items, around twenty dollars is a good start. And NEVER ask for money! If you have been living together for a while, there will be many things you won’t need. It’s acceptable to ask for things like beach towels if you go the lake or beach quite often. And the same goes if you have other interests like camping or gourmet cooking. Cook books are a great gift for newlyweds. And don’t forget Thank-You notes. Send those out within a month of the party. Make sure all the members of the wedding party try on their clothes one last time before leaving the bridal shop. Especially if they have been altered since their last visit. It’s too late to change things when you are at the wedding. And DON”T wait until the last minute to try on. The bride and groom don’t need this extra stress. So often I am asked what to have in an “emergency kit” for the wedding day. Well, here is my new updated version. 1.
Baby wipes, the good ones. I like Huggies. These can remove unwanted makeup off the dress or face and are great for wiping sweaty palms. 2. Club soda. The best for cleaning wine stains from clothing or carpet. 3. First Aid Kit. Also make sure you have tweezers and a good pair of small scissors. Some of the Band-Aids made especially for blisters are good too. 4. Curling iron. Besides smoothing crushed ribbon, it can be used for hair. 5. Blow dryer. Great for removing wrinkles in veils (lightly mist with water first) and also in dresses. Just don’t hold too close. If course it works to dry cleaned spots on Tuxes. 6. Kleenex and paper towels. Someone WILL spill something somewhere. 7. Sewing kit. Make sure it has pre-threaded needles in all the colors of the wedding party. It’s very hard for nervous hands to thread a needle. Also a small pair of scissors, multi-sized safety pins, extra florist pins and a small stapler (great for tux hems). 8. Hair spray. Along with hair pins, clips and the blow dryer (#5 above). 9. Extra trial-sized clear deodorants. 10. Other things such as nail glue (can also work for jewelry repair) and clippers. If possible, have all the girl’s hair and makeup done at the same time. And for consistency, you may want to include a lip stick of the color you want them to wear in their gift bags. Also, let them know the colors for their Pedi and Mani. Most opt for the American manicure. If the bridal party hasn’t eaten in a couple of hours, it’s a good idea to place two snack baskets- one for the groom’s room and one for the bride’s room. They can be different but should include things like cheese, crackers and dried fruit. Clear drinks or water along with cups. No alcohol!!!! This is not a meal but something to tide them over until the reception. Include napkins and small plates if necessary. Don’t add messy things like dips and salsas, keep it simple. You can provide small finger sandwiches that include turkey or chicken. It’s also a good time to have that box of wipes. Make lists ahead of time, placing post-it notes on the wall if necessary in different categories so you can see at a glance what is going on. Sometimes this is easier than writing in in a notebook. But always keep a backup copy of anything you do.
Jennifer Borsky & Matthew Goare are getting married May 3, 2014!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 25
Love The
Power Of
By Simon Mwangi (Printed with Permission)
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2014
From the very beginning, the girl's family objected strongly to her dating this guy... saying that it has got to do with family background... and that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him. Due to her family's pressure, the couple quarreled very often. Though the girl loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?" As the guy was not good with words, this often caused the girl to be very upset. With that and the family's pressure, the girl often vented her anger on him. As for him, he endured it in silence. After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated and decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But, all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them around. Will you marry me?" The girl agreed, and with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in and agreed to let them get married. So, before he left, they got engaged. The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas continuing his studies. They shared their love through emails and phone calls. Though it was hard, both never thought of giving up. One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She had lost her voice. The doctors said the impact on her brain had caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' discomfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During her stay in the hospital, besides silent crying... it's still just a silent cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching home, everything seemed to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone, which pierced into her heart every time it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. And not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer. With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent seemingly millions of messages, and countless phone calls. All the girl could do was cry. The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything and finally be happy. With a new environment, the girl learned sign language and started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came and told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him. A year had passed and her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she opened the letter, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language, he told her, "I've spent a year's time learning sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the ring back onto her finger. The girl finally smiled.
&
Matthew Wilson Erin L. Richardson Pam Fisher and William Richardson announce the engagement of their daughter, Erin L. Richardson, of Hickory to Matthew Wilson of Hickory, son of Nick and Kim Bazzle. The bride graduated from Bunker Hill High in 2006 and from App State in 2010 with A bachelors degree in Criminology. She is employed with the Clerks office in Catawba County. Matt graduated from Newton Conover in 2004 and from App State in 2009 and is employed at Alexander Central as a teacher and assistance football coach. They are excited to start their lives together in a ceremony April 12th at Balls Creek Campground under the arbor. They will reside in Hickory.
Christopher Dean Triplett Amanda Leigh Kilby
&
Dennis Wayne Johnson & Jacqueline Marquita Wescott Jacqueline Marquita Wescott and Dennis Wayne Johnson would like to announce their engagement. They will be getting married on Sunday, July 20, 2014 at the Rex Allen Theater. Parents of the groom are Lois and Wayne Johnson. Parents of the bride are Dale and Darlene Wescott. After a honeymoon in Lake Lure, the couple will live in Burke County.
Announcement is made of the engagement of Amanda Leigh Kilby of Hickory, and Christopher Dean Triplett of Granite Falls. The future bride is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Dan Cates of Hickory and Mr. and Mrs. Jeff Kilby of Hickory. She earned her degree for Funeral Director and embalmer from Gupton – Jones College of Funeral Service in 2011 in Atlanta and is employed by Drum & Willis-Reynolds Funeral Homes. The future groom is the son of Mrs. Terri Triplett of Charlotte and Mr. and Mrs. Randy Triplett of Charlotte. He earned his Bachelor’s degree in Landscape Design from North Carolina State University in 2010 and is employed by Growing Edge Landscape and Design in Hickory. A May 2014 wedding is planned. www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
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Are you counting breaths or moments? I have carried these notes for this column with me since August of last year. It was at that time that a much admired friend passed away. She was impeccably stylish and authentically real. She made differences in small and big ways that will continue to have long lasting impact from her five decades of living. Lynne Rahe Byrd would have been 51 years of age in May. Also in August, but two years prior on my 50th birthday, knowing that I am an avid journaler, Lynne gave me the most exquisitely crafted leather journal. The soft burgundy leather wraps around hand crafted speckled paper, flapping closed with the aid of a strategically placed string which ties to securely close the journal. She knew me so well, and this journal was indeed very special. On a piece of vellum paper inserted into the journal when I opened it, was the headline, “The Art of Gift Giving” where Lynne shared how she had been in possession of this unique journal for a couple of years. She decided to wait to give it to me on my milestone birthday because it deserved a special timing for giving. She knew it was meant for me to own because I would know how to put it to perfect use. She then went on to write, “… I realize again how true the old saying, it is better to give than to receive … Holding onto things can be like leaving the plastic on your lampshades!” That piece of vellum has stayed tucked in the back of my journal because it is as special as the journal itself. On the day of Lynne’s funeral, I re-read the vellum, and was inspired by those final words she wrote about the lampshades. How often do we allow life to keep us from fully living? How often do we allow fleeting moments of upset cause us not to appreciate lingering moments of delight? Take the Plastic Off: We have all seen the lampshades with plastic on them under the guise of protecting them from dust and damage. Are you operating in the same way? For your own self protection, are you not letting others see the truly amazing person that is inside of you? Light the Candles: Do you have candles in your home that are décor and have yet to be lit? I have a confession to make, I did, but not any more. For me, they have become symbols of never ignoring your burning desires to achieve, to enjoy and to be all that you can be. Light your internal candle and allow it to flicker with possibilities in your life. Open the Doors & Windows: How often on a beautiful day do you keep your home closed up versus allowing the natural breezes
to flow through with open windows and screen doors? How often have opportunities revealed themselves, but you decided to wait for whatever reason? As the saying goes, when opportunity knocks, open the door. Enjoy Rain or Shine: Nothing excites me more than when it is raining and the sun is shining because a rainbow is most likely going to appear. I thank my grandmother for keeping that aspect of a child in me. How do you turn your rain into sunshine? Do you get caught up in the fog, or do you see the lesson or opportunity that has revealed itself to you? Walk Barefoot: There is something quite freeing about walking barefoot. I simply cannot wait to take off my shoes, and often kick them off at my office while working. How do you kick off frustrations and take off your burdens in order to live more freely and intentionally? When others know, support grows. How do you bare your soul to those around you so that they can know your passions and your desires? When others know, opportunities flow. I was so touched by receiving this journal that I saved it because I wanted to define an exceptional purpose for it versus it being one of my everyday gratitude journals. It stayed by my bedside awaiting me to know when to open it and begin writing. Two years had passed and the news of Lynne’s passing arrived. Like a lightening bolt running through my body, I immediately picked up the journal and began to write. It has become my mojo to everything in my life now and yet to be. It now has an extraordinary purpose. The journal was the creation of one of Lynne’s favorite fashion designers, Annette Görtz. Branded into the interior hide of the cover is the phrase, “Life doesn’t mean how many breaths you take, but all the places and moments that have taken your breath away – anonymous.” Gift giving is a very personal and meaningful act of kindness. One of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and to those you love is permission to enjoy and delight in knowing countless moments that take your and their breaths away.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
Back To Nature by Susan Guest, ASID
I am sitting on the back deck on a Sunday afternoon. The skies are blue. Flowers are just starting to bloom. Birds are singing and a nice, cool breeze accentuates this perfect day. Nature has such a calming effect. Even writing an article is more fun when done outdoors. Studies have shown that a positive environment, whether it is an office or a home, affects our moods, health, and productivity. When our heart rate is lower, we are less nervous and more creative. Hopefully we are kinder to ourselves and those around us. When a room is harmonious with nature, it can aid us in our constant need for rejuvenation. Our bodies require down time and a respite from lives that are too busy, stressful, and often, not very fun. Here are some suggestions to enhance your life with nature. • Color: Just look at the color names on a paint chart. Desert Sand, Seed Pearl, Delicious Melon, Icicle, and Birds Egg Blue are colors that we often use to paint our walls. Radiant Orchid is the “it” color right now. God did such a wonderful job creating the universe, that all we have to do is copy His colors to have a beautiful interior. For instance, a room that uses a combination of vibrant pinky reds, dark murky blues, peaches, and yellows can remind us of a sunset. As I have mentioned in past articles; color has the power to heal, stimulate, soothe, or challenge us. • Texture: Color is not the only thing that brings the outdoors into our interior spaces. A tactile or texture-filled environment resembles the awesome world that God created. Recently, I found carpet tiles that resemble the deep waters of an ocean, tiles that looked like shallow water, and tiles that looked like sand. These tiles can be combined to create a beautiful shoreline in a home or commercial setting. I am currently using a shower floor tile that looks like pebbles on a job. Cork, mica, or tree bark are great natural wallpapers with lots of texture and personality. • Furnishings: Furniture designers often incorporate nature in their pieces. Curvy sofas can resemble waves (or snakes,
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2014
if you like them!). Another beautiful way to have a natural environment is to incorporate furniture with rustic logs or a table base made from a tree trunk. Today, mirrors and chandeliers that are popular include those made from seashells, coral, and antlers. • Murals: You can transform a space with a mural or wallpaper. I have used a mural with doors leading out to a beach in a basement room with no windows. A boring room came to life and felt as if it had natural light coming in. If you feel at home in a forest with sunlight streaming through the trees, you might add this mural on an accent wall in your home. One of my favorite wallpapers is a Schumacher pattern of birds in a tree. Ceilings can be painted in a dark blue with glimmering stars if you love gazing up at the heavens. • Motifs: All throughout history, animal and plant motifs have been used in interiors to make them connect to the outdoors. Flowers and foliage have been used for centuries to mimic the beautiful flowers in gardens all over the world. Skins on fabrics or leathers include snakeskin, faux fur, and leopard prints. Paisley is back in (yea!) and reflects amoebas. There always seems to be a popular motif that reflects nature. Sometimes the motif looks very realistic. Other times it is more stylized or abstract. The last few years, the motifs have included corals, owls, and peacocks. It will be interesting to see what the new one will be at the upcoming furniture market.
I am constantly inspired by places that I visit and the overall trend in using natural inspiration in interiors. After years of the sterile home and business spaces, people are finally catching on that environment matters. Evidence-based design has proven that we have a better quality of life when nature is included. Enjoy the beauty in the world that was created just for us!
Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31
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pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | April 2014 828-758-7326 Pain Management
Mastering the hula hoop requires balance, patience, momentum, consistency and a positive attitude…much like the care, management and treatment of your pelvic health! Embarrassing “accidents,” and irregular periods are just some of the pelvic health perils women of all ages can experience. Urinary incontinence is one of the most common pelvic health issues that women experience, yet it is sometimes difficult for women to talk about with their doctor. If you feel uneasy bringing it up, remember that you are not alone- approximately 25 million American adults experience urinary incontinence at some point in their lives. But the good news is, you don’t have to! According to the National Association For Continence, 80 percent of those affected by urinary incontinence can be treated. Remember that incontinence is a symptom, not a disease. On a temporary basis, it can be caused by vaginal infections, constipation or certain medications. Persistent urinary incontinence may be caused by weakness of the bladder or the muscles supporting it, overactive bladder muscles or urinary tract blockage. There are four types of urinary incontinence: • Stress incontinence happens when certain activities such as coughing, sneezing or laughing increase abdominal pressure on the bladder. • Urge incontinence occurs when the need to urinate happens too quickly for the person to get to the bathroom in time. • Overflow incontinence involves small amounts of urine leaking from a bladder that never empties completely. • Functional incontinence affects people with normal bladder control, but who cannot get to the bathroom quickly due to physical limitations that make moving difficult such as arthritis. Once the cause of urinary incontinence has been identified, treatment options usually fall into three main categories. Behavioral techniques require making certain lifestyle changes. For example, setting up a schedule to go to the bathroom every two to four hours or retraining the bladder to gradually extend the time between bathroom trips. Pelvic floor muscle exercises, also called Kegel exercises, are recommended to strengthen the muscles below the bladder that control urination. Medications can be prescribed to treat an overactive bladder, or urge incontinence. These drugs block nerve impulses to the bladder, decreasing the urgency and frequency of urination. Medical devices or surgery are also available to treat incontinence. Urinary incontinence should not be suffered in silence. Talk to your doctor about your signs and symptoms as well as your options or for more information call Andrea Wagner, Frye’s pelvic health navigator at 315-3795.
Recipes for ife
L
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body Baked Corn (Recipe by Marie Feather, Hospitality Cookbook) 1 can cream style corn 2 eggs ¼ - ½ cup sugar 1 cup milk Salt & pepper to taste Combine and thoroughly stir all ingredients in a greased 8 x 8 casserole. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour and 15 minutes.
A Prayer for God’s Blessing Father in Heaven, Glory unto You for the gift of Your Son! Love divine, You’re perfectly displayed in Jesus Christ, who radiates Your glory, represents Your nature, and upholds all things by His powerful word (see Heb. 1:3). Humbly I acknowledge my recurrent, fleshly desire to gain importance, when YOU are all that matters. Thank You for kindly exposing this sin, and please enlarge my desire to magnify You … You alone. In Jesus’ beloved name, Amen.
Food for the Soul What better way to celebrate Easter than worship with loved ones and gather together around the table afterwards? Perhaps you’ll even try a new recipe or two … like this one for baked corn. Slightly sweet and resembling custard, this side dish perfectly complements any holiday dinner. Gladly I discovered it years ago, and although it’s never the meal’s main attraction, it vitally contributes overall. Absolutely baked corn enhances the feast. Speaking of not being the main attraction, I’m led to confess: numbers sometimes plague me. The Christian writing industry attracts numerous authors, so success in this realm partially depends on the size of one’s platform. How many Facebook likes? How many Twitter followers? How expansive the reach, etc.? Answers to questions like these certainly hold weight. Frequently, compulsively, ashamedly, these numbers occupy my mind. Periodically I compare myself to other writers. Disheartened, I consider my impact similar to that of a side dish—complementing the whole but never the main attraction.
Yet suddenly the realization hit me anew. Of course I’m just an accompaniment … as is every Christian. JESUS CHRIST is the main attraction—always has been and always will be. Whatever gifts and talents He’s entrusted to us, their purpose resides in glorifying, exalting, and magnifying HIM. Worthy of our all, God chooses us to represent and share His Son. What an amazing privilege! Creatively God uses each of His people to highlight Jesus. Consider the Lord and these inspiring, historic events: “He who was revealed in the flesh, Was vindicated in the Spirit, Beheld by angels, Proclaimed among the nations, Believed on in the world, Taken up in glory.” 1 Tim. 3:16, NASB • “Revealed in the flesh” – Jesus departed heaven and entered this world as a baby. Growing into a Man, He ministered to many and ultimately sacrificed His life on an excruciating cross. • “Vindicated in the Spirit” – Jesus’ righteousness was revealed by the Holy Spirit. • “Beheld by angels” – Celestial beings watched Jesus’ activity on earth. • “Proclaimed among the nations” – Jesus was declared not just to Jews but Gentiles also. • “Believed on in the world” – Countless people placed their faith in Jesus. • “Taken up in glory” – Resurrected from the dead, Jesus ascended and was seated at God’s right hand. Truly the Lord Jesus Christ was and is the most exceptional Person ever. His feet graced earth’s ground, His hands healed broken people, and His heart expressed everlasting love. Completely sinless, He offered His life as payment for our sins. Mightily God the Father raised Him from the dead. And today? Christ still extends grace, shows mercy, heals, loves, and saves. Hallelujah! Jesus, Savior of the world, lives forever. No one else can claim victory over death. HE. IS. ALIVE. “He raised Him from the dead, and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age, but also in the one to come.” Eph. 1:20-21 Happy Easter, friend. May we characterize this year’s celebration with joyful proclamation of our Savior’s beauty and worth. Lifting up His name, the Lord Jesus Christ, let’s joyfully declare His supremacy and sufficiency. May each of us practice the truth of John 3:30, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Positively, JESUS is the main attraction. Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…
Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close! relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.
Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotions and to learn more about life in Christ. Connect with Emily on Facebook at www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/ emilywickhamPH Please contact Emily about speaking at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences by e-mailing emily@ proclaiminghimtowomen.com. Emily, who is grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her wonderful husband and their four treasured children in western NC.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33
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Sophie? Where’s
Ahh, lovely spring! One of the greatest seasons of the year. Hmm... Where should I go today? I’ve got to go by Medicap Phamacy to get that prescription for Mom. On the way, I probably should stop by or call the folks at Swisher Internal Medicine and schedule her colonoscopy. Those fine folks at Piedmont Health Care have been really great about keeping Mom in shape since that last health scare of hers. Not to mention the Seniors Helping Seniors. Those kind people there have been a Godsend in getting Mom back in the swing of things. Oh, you know what? Mother’s Day is coming up! I really should go by Cottage 321 and pick up some gifts for all those special ladies in my life. Oh yeah: Aqua B has some new arrivals too! It’s such a nice day. Maybe I’ll ride over to Newton to Carolina Vines and pick up a bottle (or two) of that apple wine I’ve been hearing so much about. And I just must go to Mt. View Home and Garden. I can’t wait to get me some plants and a few hanging baskets. They are going to look so good on my back porch, under my new shade covering that I got from Annas Awning. Wow! I have got me a busy day, huh? Guess I’d best get to it. TriCity Christian’s girls softball team is playing this afternoon and I really want to go cheer them on. Just one more quick stop to Hideaway Kennels to make arrangements for Little Precious and my day will be complete. Ahh. Don’t you just wish you were me?
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