Sophie Woman's Magazine Aug 2013 by Sophie Woman's Magazine

VOLUME 9 - ISSUE 6 / AUGUST 2013

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Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Put A Lid On It! | Page 15 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ Catch the Wave! | Page 6

Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are You Embracing The Joy In Your Life & Work? | Page 29 shutterbuggerz pg 38

INTRODUCING OUR ALL NEW WEDDING SECTION

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INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

pg 23

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from the

From The Editor: Judy Smith

Amazing things happen around us all the time but sometimes we are just too busy or too self-absorbed to realize what is going on. There is hardly a single day that goes by that something doesn’t call out to me. Hopefully, most days, I listen. However, there are too many times when I get to the end of my day thinking how glad I am that “this day is over”. My Sunday school class gave me a gift of One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It is a book and a box. I have to confess and tell you that when I saw the title of the book and then there was a box that I thought there was a thousand gifts in the box. I was so wrong. It was so much more! I want to make another confession. I have not kept up with it every day, nor do I count my blessings every single day. When I do purposefully STOP to count my blessings or when I am just awe struck by something amazing that just happened, seemingly out of the clear blue sky, I am reminded of listening for the still small voice of God. Sometimes I have to be quiet and some times, God hits me in the head. Last week, I was cleaning my desk, trying to sort through some things, file some things that needed to be put away and found a card stuck between some folders. At first, I was upset that I had let that slip by me and get misplaced. Then I opened the card and read the handwritten message that a reader sent me. It was a message I needed right at the moment I opened the card. You might say that was just a coincidence but I believe that was a God thing. Maybe there is an article in this month’s magazine that is meant just for you at just this moment. Perhaps you are struggling with hard decisions and you read about Miss Cora and what she was faced with or the article about reaching out to others by Kim Fletcher. Are you discontent with the everyday things in your life?

Then maybe you will get one of those One Thousand Gifts from the Me, Myself and Inc. article. I know the love story about the couple celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary will put a song in your heart. The points…..don’t miss the wonderful gifts we get every single day. Your box will be full before you know it!

“Sometimes we don’t realize the blessings we have until we no longer have them. Appreciate all the blessings in your life, take none for granted”. Catherine Pulsifer

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phie Woman’s Magazine

21 East A Street Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager & Graphic Design: Scott Hansley Sales: Stephanie Ledford 828-729-8353 stephanie@sophiewomansmagazine.com For General Advertising Inquiries, Please Email Us At sales@sophiewomansmagazine.com

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses. How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste. For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 6 Sophisticated Women Practice Discernment.........pg 9 MakingASplashAtAbernethy Laurels...................pg 11 The Fly Lady.........................................................pg 13 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 15 Health & Fitness Tips...........................................pg 16 A Time To Cry & A Time To Laugh..................pg 18 Truth & Beauty.....................................................pg 20 LKN Couple Find Joy In 65 Years Together...........pg 22 Storybook Beginnings...........................................pg 23 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 29 A Matter Of Taste.................................................pg 31 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 33 Building Bridges To Better Health.......................pg 35 The 3 Keys To Emotional Intimacy ...................pg 36 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 38

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********************************************************** Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or ti’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. **********************************************************

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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Catch the Wave!

by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker

“Treat a man as he appears to be, and you will make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.” Goethe If you think the upcoming generation is failing, you may be hanging around with the wrong young people. My world is currently replete with young adults who are dreaming big and sacrificing even bigger with their lives. I sat over dinner at a great water-front grill at sunset a few nights ago with my friend Corey who recently graduated from nursing school. Immediately upon graduating, rather than a self-serving trip to the beach, she chose a medical mission trip to India. She found herself unexpectedly falling in love with another world, another culture as a new life vision took shape.

“If I don’t go reach out to those children, who will?” Corey – Medical Missionary Her trip allowed her to serve as an assistant in a local hospital. She also did some teaching with young girls with the help of an interpreter. Along the way, her heart was being gripped by the need she saw at every corner. A short-term trip began beckoning her heart to consider a greater commitment. In an unexpected moment, she was captivated by a group of children living in poverty playing outside of a temple. Tears streamed down her face as she found herself hearing God whisper, “Corey, how will these children hear about Me?” She found

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2013

herself quickly responding, “What if that is supposed to be me who returns to share the Love of God that has changed my life?” You may be thinking that this story means little to you because you could never go to another country to have a huge impact. Well, I have good news for you. You are called to be a missionary right where you are. My favorite missionary is Heidi Baker of Mozambique. When Heidi travels the world sharing her heart and the vision of Iris Ministries (Irisglobal.org), she often gives CHALLENGE 100. This simple challenge can be accepted by any individual who is willing to stop for at least ONE PERSON every day when they see a need. You may see someone in need of a smile, your encouraging word, or $5.00 for lunch. No matter what the need, you can begin making a tremendous impact in your own world by simply tuning in to the needs that exist around you. We live in a culture that has been saturated by negative news to the point that we hardly feel emotion if we see someone who appears hungry or sad. We should ask God to awaken our hearts to see and feel what He feels as His heart breaks for those in need. Corey allowed the heart of Jesus for those children in India to penetrate her own heart, reaching past her own goals, agenda and desires to see His heart fulfilled. You can do the same without ever climbing on a plane or owning a passport. Imagine what would happen if you reached 100 people in the next 100 days? Now imagine challenging those 100 to also reach 100. Hundreds would quickly grow to thousands. This simple transformation to the way you live could alter your family, your community or even your nation more quickly than you might imagine. Open your heart to the possibilities around you and watch your world begin to expand. A famous Hawaiian surfer recently successfully surfed a record

100 foot wave. But that was not his training ground. He likely learned on the three to four foot waves like the millions of other surfers. While few people may actually be drawn to the “big surf” of moving to a different country or totally changing their way of life, all of us can catch the waves around us. Start small and watch your life change just by committing to get out there. Surfing is all about timing. You must be positioned to catch the wave before you can ever surf. So start small by tuning into those around you. Leave an unexpected note. Give your coffee money to someone in need. Forgive an old grudge. The waves will begin to increase as your confidence and skill take you into the break zone where the risk may be a bit greater… but so is the thrill of impact and the ride. Catch the wave!

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pg 8 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | August 2013

ophisticated omen... Practice Discernment

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world. –Eckhart Tolle Have you lost yourself? It’s easy to do. If your responsibilities create an unmanageable to-do list, your roles lack joy, and you long to run and hide, you’re probably lost. Being lost is a symptom of the lack of discernment in your life. Discernment is one of the core strategies in any sophisticated woman’s tool kit for living a vibrant life. The discernment process gives you permission to act. It allows you to grasp, comprehend, and evaluate clearly. It illuminates your way. Take a close look at the word permission. See it? The two words joined together per and mission indicate that whatever we discern must be in service or for every step in our life’s mission. Discernment then in essence is the process of seeing how our perspectives, our mental models and our next right steps either serve our personal mission or surrender it. Discernment is the blending of intuition, emotion and reason. The sophisticated woman understands that she must become intimately aware of when her intuition is creating an inner prompting. The sophisticated woman understands that her emotions are not futile but that they can powerfully serve her choices. And finally, a sophisticated woman knows that her choices must be run through systems of logic and reason. To create some movement in your life, ironically, the first step in the discernment process is to be still. In the stillness, you need a question, a powerful question. A powerful question is one that provokes thought. It’s not easily answered. The question you take into the stillness is not answered with a yes or no reminiscent of the Magic Eight Ball by Mattel you and I had as a child. No. This is not child’s play. You’re not flipping a coin. No. You’re going to do the heavy lifting, the strength training necessary to build the muscle of our mission. This is sophisticated work for sophisticated women. A powerful question makes you stand in different perspectives. These different perspectives awaken your intuition. By definition and design, intuition is instinctive, insightful, and perceptive. If the intuition is not given a powerful question, it has no reason to act. Perhaps the reason you’re stuck is because you don’t know your life’s purpose? You’re not sure what you should be doing with your life? I offer you this powerful question to get you started in your discernment process by first engaging your intuition. Ask yourself, What do I really want? Careful here. Don’t go south or sarcastic on me. I ask this question quite often and individuals quip, “a million dollars”, “a vacation”, or “a nap”. While all of these wants are quite fabulous, I invite you to be still. Be serious. Seek an answer that you know has real meaning for you. You might find that what you really want is to make an impact. Perhaps you want to influence others. Do you want to rally behind a cause? Are you grieved because your talents are latent?

If your intuition is given the opportunity, it will diligently, doggedly pursue an answer. But, you must create the stillness. Once you give your intuition a space to take action, to create movement, to pry you out of your stuckness, the first thing you’ll notice are your emotions. Pay attention. When you sense a deep grieving or an intense joy, you are being informed about your life’s mission. The grief indicates that a cause needs your help. The joy indicates that your gifts would be synchronized with purposeful action. In either case, your passion is engaged. Oprah states, “Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” With this newfound energy, you can then begin to reason. Allow yourself to look at what your life could ‘be like’. Instead of being lost in the world, lose yourself in the possibilities. Norman Vincent Peale has encouraged people for decades with his work. He claims, “The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.” The something bigger Norman is referring to is your personal mission. You must get a vision for your life’s mission. It’s bigger than you think. Trust me. Will you trust me? Will you do the work of discernment? Let’s get started. • Step One: Spark your intuition with a powerful question. • Step Two: Acknowledge your emotions. • Step Three: Reason with the following prompts. • Try On the Options- Using your imagination, the font of your creativity, see yourself in the future. What does your most vibrant life look like? Who are you serving? What talent is used? Where is your impact? What are your options? Write them down. • Look Back from the Future- Once you have these glimpses into the future, look back to today while maintaining each separate vision of the future. In each scenario, what decisions do you need to make in the present that will shape your ideal future? What seems to land? What seems to miss? • Say Yes and Then Say No- When you say yes to images of your future you are undoubtedly saying no to something else. Try on a ‘yes’. With regard to each option, record your thoughts prompted by your intuition and your emotions. Then, try on a ‘no’. Record your thoughts prompted by your intuition and your emotions. Do you know at some level what it would ‘be like’ to live the lives you imagined? Which one is right? Or wrong? The choice is yours. Choose. Discernment is a process you can learn to trust. As soon as you learn to trust yourself, you will know how to live. You know more than you think you do. Choose to discern. Nicole Greer, PPCC is the Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group. Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www. thelydiagroup.com

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9

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MAKING A

AT ABERNETHY LAURELS

“It’s a phenomenal way to get therapy”, said Jessica. “Many residents at Abernethy Laurels who are involved in aquatic therapy say they look forward to participating in their treatment sessions because it relieves their pain and it isn’t as strenuous as exercise on land. Those rehabilitating from knee replacements, hip replacements, and shoulder replacements have found aquatic therapy to be an ideal way to receive treatment.” Jessica Snyder, a Physical Therapy Assistant at Abernethy Laurels who is certified in aquatic therapy, said adult orthopedic patients, particularly those with chronic back pain, joint replacements or after spine surgery, who have difficulty bearing any weight, can start an exercise routine more quickly in the water versus traditional land based therapy. Abernethy Laurels began implementing aquatic therapy into their current therapy and rehabilitation services several months ago. According to numerous reports, aquatic therapy has proven to be highly effective at treating chronic pain, improving functional mobility, and increasing range of motion. Those with conditions like arthritis or joint pain, musculoskeletal disorders, and chronic back pain are ideal candidates for aquatic therapy. Aquatics is also a popular treatment for individuals with Parkinson’s disease, strokes, or those rehabilitating from recent joint replacement surgery. Research shows that there are numerous benefits to participating in aquatic activities which makes water therapy much more efficient than on land. With aquatic therapy there is little to no impact on the joints, the risk of someone falling is greatly decreased, and in many cases it reduces swelling in the joints. The buoyancy that water provides allows muscles to work slowly and more precisely, thus helping a resident receiving aquatic therapy achieve their goals much sooner than on land. “I’m thrilled about having these services available for residents. Abernethy Laurels is the only nursing facility in our area that offers aquatic therapy. It is my hope that those in need of short term rehabilitation will consider using our aquatic therapy program to rehabilitate. It’s becoming a very popular way for anyone, especially seniors, to receive therapy treatment. We have numerous success stories from residents who have progressed amazingly from aquatic therapy,” said Kim Harris, Nursing Home Administrator at Abernethy Laurels. Resident Blanche Martin is one of numerous residents at Abernethy Laurels reaping the benefits. When Blanche started aquatic therapy in mid-May she had several concerns like if she would enjoy being in the water, how well she would be able to move and walk in the pool, and if any movements would cause her pain. Following Blanches first aquatic treatment, she admitted that the therapy session in the water was enjoyable because although her movements were similar to what she had done on land, the movements in the water allowed her to feel little to no discomfort. Blanche is now proud to share that aquatic therapy allowed her to greatly improve her posture, balance, and flexibility. Blanche says that she looks forward to the three aquatic therapy sessions that she does each week. “It truly is a relaxing form of therapy,” shared Blanche. “Persistence is a big part of my improvement.” The warm water therapy pool, located on the first floor of the Community Center at Abernethy Laurels, was designed with seniors in mind by offering handrails for stair entry, mechanical lift entry, sitting bench, maintained temperature of 89 degrees, and Jacuzzi jets that provide relaxation and resistance.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

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pg 12 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | August 2013

Deliv

FlyLady THE

by Marla Cilley

Find An Extra Hour Each Day Wouldn’t you like to find an extra hour to your day and not lose any sleep to do it? I think I have found a way to accomplish this! You are not going to believe this! Recently it was brought to my attention that on an average; people spend 55 minutes each day looking for lost items! Just think about what you have looked for today. I have been asking folks all day about what they have been searching for. Some of the answers were typical: flipflops, shoes, socks, the remote, bills, keys, sunglasses, glasses, phone, birth certificate and the most popular “My Mind”! If the truth be told, whenever you lose anything your mind is the first thing to go! The stress and guilt of losing something again causes us to not think logically. I wish we had an acronym to help us FIND things. I may not have that acronym but I do have a plan! Let’s go back in time and stop ourselves from losing things in the first place. My grandmother always said, “Everything has a place and everything in its place!” Just think about how this little saying can put an extra hour in our day! Oh but we can’t do that! We are not behind! Let’s jump in where we are! If we took the time to pick up after ourselves instead of stashing things like a crazy person then we may actually be able to find those items when we need them. But the problem is that we don’t have a place picked out for that item. The reason we don’t have a place is because clutter has taken over all of our storage areas and flat surfaces. We buy houses with lots of closets, kitchen cabinets and drawers yet each one is filled to capacity with miscellaneous items. There is no true organization to our homes because we can’t seem to get rid of our clutter. In order to find a place for everything we have to begin the process of decluttering. We do this with 2 minute Hot Spot Fire

Drill, 27 Fling Boogies, and 5 Minute Room Rescues. These are fun ways to reduce our clutter. We can also set our timers for 15 minutes and sort through those cluttered recesses, one drawer or one shelf at a time. Sort the clutter into three bins: Give away, put away, and throw away! I know that in your “Want it now” mentality that you are determined to get your house organized as fast as you can. The problem with this is that you will crash and burn! When we take babysteps to release the clutter and use our zones to work our way around our homes; we can determine places for the things we love and use. As you eliminate the clutter, you are going to find that you have several like items. One time we got a testimonial that said she found seven pairs of scissors in her home as she declutter. We know how that happens. When we can’t find a pair of scissors we go out and buy another pair. Isn’t it funny that we spend more time buying a new pair than searching for the old one. Once the clutter is gone you can determine a place for everything and with more time on your hands you can put things back where they belong!

For more help getting rid of your clutter and CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or read her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House. Help me build a Habitat Home this year. http://www.share.habitat.org/flyladybuildproject Please bless others with your clutter by donating it to a Habitat for Humanity Restore near you. Copyright 2013 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

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6\Y 5L^LZ[ -HTPS` 4LTILY :WLJPHSPaLZ 0U )\UKSLZ 6M 1V` Introducing Stephanie Chase, MD Stephanie Chase, MD, is the newest addition to our impressive ob/gyn team. She is a graduate of the Florida State University College of Medicine and looks forward to impacting the health of women in this region as they face every stage of life. Dr. Chase is also fluent in Spanish and is now accepting new patients! Call 828-322-4140 today!

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pg 14 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | August 2013

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New Patients Welcome! Habla EspaĂąol!

Put A Lid On It by Sharon Jaynes

Today’s Truth

“… tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark,” (James 3:5 NIV).

Friend to Friend

From the time I could hold a crayon in my chubby little hand, I’ve enjoyed creating various works of art. For my family and friends, my annual endeavors usually found their way under the Christmas tree and into their hands. One year it was macramé hanging plant holders, woven with wooden beads. Another, it was a menagerie of decoupage wooden boxes. Then there were the years of framed cross-stitch, ceramic Nativity sets, and quilted pig and chicken pillows. When I was 17, it was the year of the candle. Everyone from Grandma Edwards to my best girlfriends received praying hands candles. For weeks I slaved over a hot stove, stirring melted wax, meticulously centering the ten-inch wicks, and then slowly pouring the red, green, or yellow molten material into an inverted mold in the shape of praying hands. When the wax hardened, I burped the rubber mold and plopped the hands onto the counter. My kitchen looked like a prostheses laboratory with hands littering the counters. I was just cooking up my last batch of wax when the doorbell rang. I was having so much fun that I had forgotten the time. I had a date at 7:30, and here I was in pink curlers and a paraffin-covered sweatshirt. I rushed through the kitchen, leaped over my dad, who had fallen asleep on the den floor in front of the television, and threw open the door. “Hi, Jim. Come on in,” I said, out of breath. “I’m not ready.” “So I noticed,” he said with a grin. “I was cooking candles and lost track of time.” “You were what?” “Oh, never mind. Just come on in and have a seat on the couch. I’ll be ready in a minute.” I dashed to my room to change clothes, take out the curlers and run a brush through my hair, swipe mascara through my lashes, and place a hint of gloss on my lips. Jim sat uncomfortably on the sofa, listening to my dad snore and Jackie Gleason yell at Ralph Kramden. After about 15 minutes Jim smelled something burning from the kitchen. He didn’t want to call me for fear of waking up my dad. (Teenage boys don’t like to wake up their date’s dad if they can help it.) Instead, he tiptoed into the kitchen and discovered a pot on the stove with flames shooting up about 18 inches in the air. Sleeping dad or no sleeping dad, Jim yelled, “Sharon! Whatever you were cooking is on fire!” “Oh my goodness!” I exclaimed. “I forgot to turn off the stove!” Just as I burst into the kitchen, Jim threw a cup of water into the flaming wax. Rather than extinguish the flames, the fire exploded upward. The flames shot up the wall, across the ceiling, and down the other side of the room. Our screams alerted my father, who woke to see his baby girl standing in a room surrounded by flames. With the agility of Superman, Dad sprang to his feet, ran to the kitchen faster than a speeding bullet, grabbed the lid of the pot, and clamped it down on the source of the

flames. Just as quickly as the fire had erupted, it seemed to recede back into the pot like a genie returning to his bottle. This all happened in a matter of seconds. We stood in the middle of the room like three stunned deer. I never did tell my dad that it was Jim who threw the water on the burning wax. Teenage boys have two strikes against them just by walking through the doors to pick up a man’s baby girl. After the shock of the incident wore off, I had time to reflect on the speed at which the flames blazed around the room, the feeling of fire licking against my skin, the terrifying sound the fire made. It made me think about my words and how easily they can explode and singe those around me. I saw and understood the destructive power of our words and the speed at which that destruction can spread. But you know what else I learned? I learned just how easy it is to stop the blaze…put a lid on it. As soon as my father placed a lid on the pot and removed the flames’ source of oxygen, the fire went out. And so it is with our words. God gave us two ears and one mouth. Therefore, we need to spend more time listening and less time talking. And when we get ready to speak those words that have the potential to start a fire…what do we need to do? Put a lid on it. That’s right. Zip the lip.

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, set a guard over my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips. May nothing escape my mouth today that is not pleasing to You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Read James 3:1-18 and note what the writer teaches us about the tongue. • What affect does a rudder have on a ship? • What affect does a bridle have on a horse? • What affect does a spark have on a forest? • What affect do your words have on those in your sphere of influence? Here’s an idea. Get a pot lid and place it on the kitchen counter as a reminder to “put a lid” on any destructive words that might try to slip past those pretty lips of your today. Just for fun, send me a picture of your pot lid on the counter and I’ll post it! Or if you’re not tech savvy with posting pics, simply send me a note that you did it. Leave a comment on my blog page at www.sharonjaynes. com

More from the Girlfriends

If you’d like to learn more about how to control your tongue, check out my book, The Power of a Woman’s Words. It is a life changer! And if you are looking for a new Bible study for your women’s group, this one has been a big hit in churches everywhere. It also has an accompanying Bible study guide and a DVD. You can find both on my website.***

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15

Group Fitness Class Exercise Examples Exercise Number One- Piloxing Drive The Car This exercise targets the core, obliques, and quads while stabilizing the hips. Step One- Start with feet a little wider than shoulder-width apart, toes facing out. Extend your arms in front of you, at shoulder height, with hands in fists.

by Sharon Rashidi B.S. Health Education

Owner of The Perfect Workout

Conquer Your Group Exercise Fears

I have never been one for snorkeling. It’s the fear of the unknown. What is under the water? Sharks, string-rays, jelly fish, poisonous sea urchins? I don’t know nor do I wish to find out. On the other hand, I am perfectly comfortable with walking near the shoreline on the beach. The water is shallow and clear so I am able to see what is around and where I am walking. There is nothing to fear. I have observed that attending a group exercise class is a similar situation for some, as snorkeling is for me. But it doesn’t have to be. Fear of the unknown might be holding you back. We all shield ourselves from confronting our fears by speaking in code. We say things like “I have no time,” “I’m too weak,” or “I couldn’t do that in a million years.” Group exercise is typically described as exercise performed by a group of individuals led by an instructor. A variety of group exercise formats exist including Yoga, Pilates, Step, Zumba, Kickboxing, Body Sculpting, Boot Camp and more. Attending a group exercise class doesn’t require a big time commitment, and you really do not need to have prior exercise knowledge or experience. Group exercise offers many benefits you might miss out on if you choose to workout on your own. Some of the benefits include exposure to a variety of workout styles, instructors, motivation to achieve your goals, and a safe effectively designed workout for you. For many, an hour-long workout goes by very quickly when there is music playing and you are trying new exercises. Group exercise gives you the incentive of meeting new people with similar goals and lifestyles, while promoting some fitness and health for yourself as well. If you do nothing, if you let your fears control you, then you will not accomplish your goals. To break out of the mental block, train your mind to see yourself enjoying the experience of group exercise. Imagine yourself making new friends, losing weight, having fun, and maybe even meeting a new special someone to ease the tense feelings of stress. Breathe deeply before entering the class and remember to identify something that you are proud of about yourself. This will give you confidence that you need to confront your fear. Remember, to start off slowly, it is ok to leave the class early if you have had enough. Letting go of insecurities and learning to trust strangers in a new environment can be difficult. But with meditation and positive thought, you can conquer your fears and reach your fitness goals.

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2013

Step Two- Bend your right side and “steer” your hands in the same direction. Continue to alternate for 30 seconds. Return to start and repeat on the opposite side. Complete three sets. Tips- Make sure your head is aligned with your spine. Keep your tail bone tucked under to support your lower back. Connect your breath with the movement, exhaling on each exertion.

Exercise Number Two- Piloxing Serving The Platter This is a great exercise for building control in the legs, abs and hips. It requires one leg to be lifted so it is very effective for strengthening the buttocks, quads and core region. Step One- Stand on a slightly bent left leg and place your right knee inside the left leg, then contract your belly to balance. Arms bent at your sides with palms facing upwards. Step Two. Push both arms up to chest height in a giant scooping motion as you balance on one leg and extend the other leg forward. Bring it all back to starting position. Repeat 12 times (in and out), and then switch sides. Tips- This movement has to be done with a lot of focus and control. Stand tall and keep your belly contracted at all times.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17

A Time To

& ry

augh

A Time To

This article is by Cora Roberts, as told by her daughter, Janie Rickman (the child who survived).

It was the year 1963. Fall was announcing its arrival and my husband, Rudy, had just returned from being overseas for thirteen months. He was going to be stationed at an Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. My family was excited about our move to Texas. It was a big change for us. We lived in the mountains of Southwest Virginia and moving to a big state like Texas was somewhat overwhelming. We made the move and adjusted well. In December, I noticed changes and thought perhaps that I was expecting another child. I went to the doctor on the base and he confirmed what I thought was happening. I was pregnant. The pregnancy was going well and we were all excited to have another addition to our family. In March, I received bad news. During one of my exams, the doctor discovered a lump in my uterus. They conducted more tests and the result that awaited me was terrifying. I was five months pregnant and I had cancer in my uterus. I was so devastated and in a state of shock that the world seemed to have stopped. During the next few weeks, I met with more doctors and was told that the baby would have to be taken. One doctor told me that in order to save my life I would have to allow them to perform what would be an abortion. The doctors had told me repeatedly that my baby would not live, and they could not begin cancer treatments until the baby was removed. As they were telling me this news, I could feel my little one moving around. I just remember stating in a strong voice – “You are not going to take my baby!” I then began to tell the doctor that I believed that God was going to get me through this and that he would be with me all the way. The doctor listened intently, but told me to go home and think about it carefully. He would give me a week to make my decision. It didn’t take a week. I called his office and told him that my mind was made up. I was going to carry this baby with the help of God! There was a moment of silence on the phone and slowly he responded, “That’s good news. I’ll do everything that I can to help you and your baby.” I began to cry with tears of joy and pain. I told him that I would do anything to protect the life that God had so graciously blessed me with. He still didn’t quite understand how deep my feelings went. I knew that taking my baby was not God’s plan. I knew that no matter what obstacles I had to face, I would overcome them with God. I believed, and still do, in the sanctity of life! Every two weeks I had to go for check-ups. The tumor was not growing. In fact it stayed the same size as what it was the day they discovered it. My doctors were amazed that the cancer was not growing. As the life in me began to get stronger, the doctors tried to give me a

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2013

“reality” check. They reminded me that this child that I would soon bare would be small. They even tried to tell me that my baby could be born with cancer and even possible deformities. Every time they would try to discourage me, I would respond that my baby would be fine- that God had a plan. My baby was born on July 16. She weighed 8 lbs. and 4 oz. She was beautiful and in perfect health! As the days passed, I considered what would have happened had I listened to man instead of God. What would have happened to this precious child if I allowed the doctors to perform the surgery that they felt was needed in order to save my life? My baby and I stayed together in the hospital for three weeks. After the third week, a nurse came by to tell me that my baby was going home – without me. My husband came and with sobbing, I watched him take her away from me. As I lay there in those lonely hours, I heard a voice say, “Your baby is fine. Calm down and let my spirit take control of your life.” I knew that God was assuring me that he was going to take care of everything and to be courageous. The doctors began radiation treatments. As I received my treatments I knew that God sent me angels to bring me comfort. I remembered one young soldier in particular who was a double amputee. The Viet Nam War was raging and this young man had lost both legs. Even in his darkest of days, he would always smile at me and tell me that he hoped my cancer treatments were going well. He always wished me a happy day! I knew that he was facing difficult times, but yet he was more concerned with me! Even though I was very weak, I was released from the hospital and could go home. It was one of the happiest times of my life. I was going home to be with my husband and children that I missed so terribly. I had a long road to travel. I was weak to the point that I could not hold my newborn for long. My Christian friends came and helped me out. It took me two years to recover from my cancer and praise God I have been cancer free from that moment that I felt His spirit upon me! Forty-nine years ago, I was faced with one of the most difficult decisions I would ever have to make. Forty-nine years ago I trusted in the Lord and he has never failed me since. Forty-nine years ago I was able to gaze upon a beautiful smile on my newborn’s face. I thank God because I still have that gift of gazing upon her beautiful smile to this day. My baby is not a baby anymore. She is a grown woman now. She is a mother, a teacher, a member of the church choir, and a Sunday school teacher. Look what the world would have missed if I had made that decision! For those of you, who are reading this article, please believe that God will provide a way – no matter what your circumstances are. Please believe that God has already won the battle that you are facing. God has a plan for each one of us. He knows our story. He knows the beginning, the middle and the end. Allow God in your life and let him paint the beautiful picture that he created you to be! If you are one who is carrying a precious life – you are carrying a precious gift from God. Please respect the sanctity of life! I give God all the praise and honor for my life!

Janie Rickman (the child who survived) is on the left, Cora Roberts is in the middle and Terri Evans is on the right.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

TRUTH

& BEAUTY

by Teresa Pope, Esthetician Question: I have a rather large dark brown spot on my face, just under my eye. When I use concealer to cover it up, all I end up with is a rather large white spot! What kind of concealer can I use to cover the dark spot that will conceal it without leaving an even more noticeable make-up spot? Answer: Oh those horrible brown spots! Spots only look cute on Dalmatian puppies, not so much so on the female face. Those pesky spots are hyper-pigmentation of the skin due to sun damage. They are known by several names, such as “age spots”, “sunspots” and as our mothers and grandmothers called them, “liver spots”. The best way to cover them is to prevent them in the first place. Always use at least a 15 SPF sunscreen on your face. Wear a hat when working outdoors and NEVER tan your face in the real sun or in tanning beds. If you are going to tan then cover your face with a cloth. Your skin will appreciate it when it starts to mature. It isn’t until the mid to late 40’s that our skin starts to show all the abuse we put it thru in our teens and early twenties. However, if you are like me, IT’S TOO LATE FOR THAT NOW! We should still follow those same rules to keep from getting even more spots later, but once the damage is done; it’s done. Okay, that’s enough preaching about the suns damaging effects. Onward to answering your question. First if the spot is very dark, has irregular edges, has changed its shape or has two or more colors, than I suggest you see your dermatologist immediately. It could possibly be a skin cancer that you need to have removed. It might be a good idea in any case, just to make sure it is a normal sunspot. Once you are sure that it is just an age spot, then you have a couple of options you can try. 1. You can have it treated with an IPL (Intense Pulse Light) laser that will target the melanin in the spot and will diminish the color or completely remove it all together. It depends on how deep the spot goes down into the dermis. It may take a couple of treatments, but it is money well spent, not to have to worry about covering it everyday. 2. There are topical treatments that you can purchase such as Retinols, bleaching products and others, but you will have to use them everyday, and it will take months, if not years, for it to lighten the spot. There are some new products (you have probably seen the commercials with the famous faces) that “claim” they remove spots. However, I just don’t see how they can truly work, so I recommend not wasting your money on trying those particular products. Oops! I’m sorry! You asked me about how to cover them with makeup. Just consider all of the above as extra, free advice. Now to answer your question. There is a way to cover without getting that obvious concealer spot. You can use any type of concealer you like. I prefer a cream product, because it is easier to apply, then the hard crayon or those applied with a wand. Using your ring finger gently tap the concealer on the spot and then start taping around the spot. Continue tapping around and around the spot working your way outward from the middle of the spot until the concealer is completely blending into the skin. This will allow the heaviest concentration of product to remain on the spot, but have blended edges so that it disappears into the skin. I have a dark spot also, so I apply my concealer before my foundation and then again on top of my foundation. Using the tapping technique both times. After the second application I apply a light dusting of mineral powder to seal the make-up to the spot. Once you have practiced the tapping technique, it will become very simple and easy to apply. When done correctly, no one will be able to spot your “spot”.

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2013

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21

Hindered by low-tech equipment, spotty communications, and difficult weather, the B-29s also relied on high-octane fuel and carried a constant threat of explosion. As a result, Dick’s role in maintaining them was critical to the war effort – and to countless pilots’ safe returns. “Things are gonna happen if they’re gonna happen.” –Betty

Dick and Betty Hanson (center) with Patti Goodwin, Director of Clinical Services, Sherrills Ford Hospice House (left), and Kittie Forbes, Veteran volunteer (right).

Lake Norman Couple Find Joy in

65 Years Together

On August 1, 2013, Dick and Betty Hanson will celebrate 65 years of marriage. They are both 91. In conversation, an easy camaraderie is apparent. The two recall events as if they were a single person, gently interrupting each other to add details, clarify a point, or chuckle at situations that still live vividly in their shared memories. Catawba Regional Hospice was invited into their home for Dick’s military pinning ceremony, acknowledging his Army Air Corps service during World War II. He welcomed the tribute but insisted that Betty also get her own pin and certificate. She, too, served faithfully in the war – and as a Navy lieutenant, she outranked him. Fittingly enough, military service first drew them together, courtesy of a blind double date. Betty’s initial impression of Dick was seeing him enter her house and run his finger along the top of the door casing – to see whether officers kept their quarters clean outside of base, he stated slyly. When it became evident that she passed inspection, so – it seemed – did he. “I have not had a very exciting life.” –Dick Dick’s time in the military revolved around aircraft engines and prepping bombardiers and cadets. He dedicated himself six days a week to inspecting, maintaining, and repairing airplanes to go out on five missions a day. His squadron also provided and maintained the bombers used to train a group of Tuskegee Airmen as bombardiers. Throughout his service, Dick was involved in overseeing the flights of B-29s, the massive bombers that supplied US troops and Chinese allies in their fight against the Japanese. Typically, the planes had to climb high to maneuver the eastern Himalayas on long-range missions across India and China – a treacherous route across what was known as the Hump.

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2013

During her service, Betty worked in hospitals stateside, lending her expertise and training in Psychological Services to the patients and working as an Education Officer. As an active service member, she also flew occasionally, although not always without incident. In one excursion on a cargo plane, she grew tired of the hard bench seat and reached for a nearby pillow. Hoisting it up by its handle, she succeeded in engaging the pillow –actually a parachute – and almost got herself thrown off the aircraft. “Time goes rapidly. But we’re on the right side of the grass.” –Betty In the years following their service, Betty worked in Harvard University’s Vocational Guidance Clinic as a psychometrist while Dick accepted positions with the Atomic Energy Commission, with Boeing, and with Reynolds International, Inc. He and Betty raised two children and lived in places as varied as Iran, Scotland, Venezuela, Brazil, and Argentina. In Rio de Janeiro, they became fans of Hippie Park, an Ipanema market where they collected a shipping container’s worth of local art to personalize their house in the States. As Betty remembers, “People are so kind and gracious if you just make an effort to speak their language.” After retirement, the couple settled in the Lake Norman area in a waterside home filled with memories of their travels. Today, beautifully landscaped beds feature azaleas, ferns, fountains, sculptures, a bottle tree, and all sorts of wildlife. For years, Betty was involved with the Lake Norman Garden Club and helped establish the W.A. “Uncle Billy” Day Memorial Botanical Garden in Sherrills Ford. Dick has been a member of the Lions Club for 25 years, and the two volunteered with the Meals on Wheels program for 18 years. They also remain active members of Rehobeth Methodist Church. Thanks to a lifetime of dedication, in 2002, Dick was awarded the Order of the Long Leaf Pine, in recognition of his extraordinary service to the state of North Carolina. With such accomplishment shining into their ninth decade, the couple are still eager hosts, as quick to offer a tour of their property as to apologize for not having finished wiring the front steps’ new lighting. Their 16½-lb. Siamese cat, Lanky, exhibits that same indescribable restlessness, constantly moving and attentive, not yet resigned to days of sunlit reverie. It’s abundantly clear that his attitude stems from that of his owners. Witnessing the sharpness of their memories, it would be easy for a visitor to wonder whether they spend a great deal of time reminiscing about the good old days or replaying the long-ago details of their military lives. Betty’s quick response, however, puts the question of nostalgia firmly at bay. “Not really,” she asserts. “We’re much too busy with things happening now.” Like that milestone anniversary, for instance. August is just a few short weeks away. Contributed by: Kelly Sigmon Director of Communications

Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine

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Announcing the Marriage of...

Cameron Danielle Laney & Brian Duane Bixby January 25, 2013

Terra Bailey Photography

Cameron Danielle Laney and Brian Duane Bixby were married on Friday, January 25, 2013 in a beach ceremony at the Majestic Elegance Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. The ceremony was followed by dinner with family and friends by the water. Upon their return, a reception was held in their honor at Catawba Country Club in Newton, NC. The bride is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Tim (Barbie) Laney of Conover, NC. She is a graduate Bunker Hill High School, in Claremont, NC and received her Bachelorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in Communications from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. She is currently an Area Manager for StaffMasters, Inc. The groom is the son of Duane Bixby of Newton, NC and Janice Robinson of Claremont, NC. He is a graduate of Newton Conover High School in Newton, NC and attended CVCC to obtain his Associates Degree in Criminal Justice and is currently employed with the City of Newton. The matron of honor was Ashley Devlin of Claremont, friend of the bride. Bridesmaids were Jennifer Jones, friend of the bride, Rachel Monroe, friend of the bride and Katherine Laney, sister-in-law of the bride; all of Conover. Dawn Sides, sister of the groom and Becky Laney, sister-in-law of the bride, both of Catawba, and Amanda Shumaker, friend of the bride of Atlanta, GA. Duane Bixby, father of the groom, was Best Man. Groomsmen were Adam Sides, brother-in-law of the groom and Patrick Laney, brother of the bride, both of Catawba. Taylor Laney, of Conover, brother of the bride, and friends of the groom, Stephen Griffin of Mountain View, and David Mills of Hickory. Junior bridesmaids were Lexy Sides and Emilie Murphy, nieces of the groom. Ring bearer was Jackson Little, nephew of the bride. Flower girls were Ella Little and Peyton Laney, nieces of the bride. The couple resides in Claremont, NC.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23

Organization Tips for Couples Planning a Wedding

Couples planning a wedding quickly realize just how challenging a task that planning can be. From paring down the guest list to arranging the music to choosing a menu for the reception, couples must make several decisions when planning their big days. Staying organized when planning a wedding is no small task, as the planning can be spread out over several months or even more than a year, making it difficult to keep track of what’s has and hasn’t been done. The following are a few organization tips that should help couples keep on track when planning a wedding. * Write things down. Whether you write things down the oldfashioned way in a notebook or jot down notes in a tablet, write down your plans as you go. Write down important phone numbers, vendor information and all the other details you’ll want instant access to. It’s important that such notes are taken in something that’s portable, allowing you to jot down

Couples planning a wedding can utilize a tablet, laptop or notebook to keep track of all the details.

notes immediately as opposed to forcing you to remember until you arrive home. * Create a to-do list. A to-do list is another great way to stay organized when planning your wedding. As you make certain decisions, simply strike those tasks from the list. This way you will know which tasks you’ve polished off and which ones you still need to work on.

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Serving Your Floral Needs From Downtown Hickory pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2013

* Create a wedding calendar. Keep a calendar devoted specifically to the wedding. Include appointments with vendors and information regarding payment schedules and other deadlines on this calendar. If you set any deadlines for yourself, such as when you prefer to choose a band for the reception, jot these deadlines down on the wedding calendar as well. * Take a digital camera along when shopping for your wedding. Many couples want to explore their options before making any decisions with regard to attire, floral bouquets and other aspects of the wedding. But it can be difficult to remember all of the things you might have seen throughout the process. Bring a digital camera along when shopping so you won’t have to rely strictly on memory when making your final decisions. As you take pictures, upload them to your computer so when the time comes to make a decision, those photos are easily accessible. * Delegate certain tasks. Even couples that consider themselves taskmasters can benefit from delegating some tasks when planning a wedding. This can save you some time and make it easier to keep track of everything. When delegating, ask friends or family to handle those tasks that don’t require a personal touch. For example, ask a best man or maid of honor to arrange for guest transportation to and from the airport. It’s not too much responsibility, but it’s one less thing for busy couples to worry about. ***

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Mr and Mrs. Brad Miller are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter, Anndrea Ellen Miller to Bret David Arendas the son of Mr. & Mrs. David Arendas. The Wedding date has been set for Sunday, August 25th at the First Baptist Church in Mooresville, NC. Reception will follow at Carrigan Farms. Bret is active duty serving in the United States Army. Their home will be in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.

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Wedding Pictures First, let me say that I am not, nor have I ever been a professional photographer. I do have about 20 photographers or so on my list that I call on when I or my brides have questions. Most are forthcoming with the info that I ask for. I have found that when someone is secure in their chosen profession, they are more apt to answer your questions honestly. I do not ask about cameras or how they do their job. That being said, here are my top ten on getting the pictures you want from your wedding events. 1. A photographer will not mind for you to ask to see their work, but also ask for references. Most professionals have websites or photos on FaceBook. Keep in mind that some may specialize in their field, like studio work for example. I am seeing more brides doing different locations for their “formal” portraits, along with outfit changes. Remember, there are the engagement, “formal”, rehearsal and wedding (reception) pictures. 2. If you have already decided on your photographer, make sure they know the poses you want and the locations. Ask if there is a time limit. If they are to be done outside, ask about any additional charges just in case it has to be postponed. Always have a rain plan. Some charge a basic “sitting fee” to cover expenses in case of postponement. Don’t be late. First, it’s very rude to do so, plus there may have other appointments after yours.

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3. Money. A big issue with some brides. Quite a few photographers are now offering brides a disc containing their photos that they can have printed wherever they choose. Some also offer packages at a set price. Make sure you know what you are getting. More and more are offering videography and photography. Usually they will discount if you do both. They will also give a better price if they do all of the pictures associated with the wedding. Communication is key here. You will probably be asked to sign a contract so read it thoroughly, especially any disclaimers. As with any contract, read it thoroughly 4. So important. If a relative or friend is doing any of the pictures or videography, make sure they know what they’re doing. They may be doing it for you as a gift, but it is a very important day for you and a one-time opportunity to get it right. There are a lot of talented amateur photographers out there so choose wisely. 5. Makeup, hair and nails. Even though the lighted makeup mirrors are great, I have been told by some of the best make-up artists that natural light is the best for just about any pictures. Do several “run throughs” before to make sure everything looks right. Don’t overdo bright colors and when it comes to tanning, go lightly. It’s not only healthier but also looks better. Please don’t get the really long fake nails. They look horrible! Don’t wear fragrance; it may attract bees and other insects. 6. The wedding party. It’s a good idea to discuss hair and makeup with your bridesmaids well before the wedding. Let them know what you want and expect. All lip and nail colors should be the same. Some brides may have someone come in to do hair and makeup for everyone. 7. If there is not any kind of dressing area at the venue, make plans for one ahead of time. It’s hard to travel in a wedding gown, especially a full one. And the same for the bridesmaids. Make-up and hair can be done away from the venue, but there needs to be a private place where you can relax. 8. The family. Discuss with the photographer before the event the pictures that you want of the family. Let him know whether or not you want pictures of the whole extended family. I have seen relatives overtake the photographer to get pictures of their own family members. Let him know ahead of time so he can be prepared to say no. It IS your day. 9. Don’t make a tired or crying child get a picture made. Let them settle down or better yet, bribe them. Do this before the photographer starts snapping pictures. Let them go first if possible. Sometimes these are best when they are spontaneous anyway. 10. You and your groom need to leave the immediate wedding area to get your own personal pictures. This is when your stress level is down and you are more relaxed. These can be more intimate and loving.

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pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2013

I’m sure there are more, but these will give you a general outline of the whole process. Pictures are future memories of your special day. Take lots of them and take care of them. Mackey S. Carpenter Owner of MSC Designs www.mscdesigns.net For All Of Your WEDDING NEEDS Catawba Valley’s YOU~NIQUE Rental Store IT’S MY PARTY RENTALS 1230 9th Ave. NE Hickory, NC (828) 267-2789 www.itsmypartyrental.com &

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Are you embracing the joy in your life and work? It is so easy in the midst of our chaotic lives to allow the “small stuff” to eat away at our psyche to the point of not only distraction, but the ability to enjoy anything else. I recently experienced a barrage of unexpected frustrations at work and then at home that could have had me completely disheveled, but thankfully, I was reminded of some wonderful wisdom I had captured in the following statement from Ralph Marston, “Allow, accept and enjoy to move forward effortlessly.” As a result, I was able to keep things in perspective through a process of allowing, accepting, enjoying, appreciating and rejoicing. By following these steps, you too can better deal with whatever comes your way. Allow: When “stuff” happens that frustrates, upsets, delays, irritates, saddens, or a myriad of other emotions, it is easy for us to allow ourselves to get caught up in the feelings being felt to the point of distraction. A better way to approach this is to allow yourself to pause. Calm down, count to ten and take a moment so that you are not compelled to react or take action in a way that could cause more frustration or problems than resolutions. Allow your feelings to process without allowing your feelings to compel you to do or say something you may regret later. You can also allow yourself to shift your attention to something more positive to reinforce that not everything in your life or work at that moment is a challenge or frustration. This is not avoidance, but merely, helping you put things into perspective while allowing you to be in a better place to cope or deal with the issue that is of concern. Accept: Another thing that occurs when “stuff” happens is an inability to accept that it is actually occurring, why it is occurring, that you have lost control or never had control of the particular situation that has arisen. The best thing you can do is to accept whatever has happened as your current reality, whether you like it or not. Then, the very next step to take is to acknowledge what you can and cannot control. Then the third and most pivotal step you can take is to accept responsibility for what you can do in moving forward, and then allow what you cannot control to no longer be your focus. As I have stated in previous columns, “can do” stands for conscientious action nurtures desired outcomes. By focusing on what you can do while accepting what you cannot control, you will be amazed at what transpires as a result of your positive focus. Enjoy: When “stuff” happens, we can become so focused on the negative impact we are experiencing that it can consume us in believing that everything seems to be going wrong. When you catch yourself saying things like “Nothing seems to be going right,” or “Luck is not my friend right now,” or anything along these lines, it is time to immediately, and I do mean immediately, enjoy something or anything that you enjoy doing. What this does is help remind you that not everything is happening against you. It helps put you in a

place of “allowing” and “accepting” because you are able to shift to a moment of enjoyment through something or someone that is valued and important to you. Appreciate: When “stuff happens, we also can lose sight of all that we are grateful for in our lives and at work. One of the best practices I have gotten myself into is whenever I feel immense frustration, irritation, or anything that is leading towards being unproductive or distracting, I immediately pause for a moment, with pen in hand, go to my “gratitude journal” and feverishly write as many things I am grateful for in a time span of anywhere from one to five minutes. I carry this journal wherever I go so it is always my weapon of refocusing and reframing my mind to be in a better state for allowing, accepting and then getting back into a mindset of being grateful. Simply shifting to thinking about all that you appreciate in your life helps. However, I have found writing it down solidifies it even more and is also a wonderful reference later to bring a smile to my face. Rejoice: When is the last time you celebrated and rejoiced in your successes and accomplishments? I am not talking about the big ones, but those small ones. With each challenge overcome or each moment you are able to shift from overwhelm to optimism, you should be rejoicing in the power of you. Rejoice from the inside out by feeling a huge, uncontrollable grin come over you at the pride you feel for how you handled a particular challenging situation. Call a close friend or co-worker and share your triumph with them, even going to the point of giving high fives or whatever feels good for you. The point is to feel the joy of being a victor. Feel the joy of moving forward. Feel the joy of your ability to overcome whatever may be thrown your way. Taking these steps can make all the difference in your state of mind and your state of wellbeing. I am reminded of a couple of other wise quotes from Ralph Marston, “Let frustrations lead you to where you truly want to go.” and “Every moment is a new opportunity for joy.” Yes, indeed, this is so very true. Embrace the joy in your life even amidst turmoil and discord and you will see how truly powerful it is in helping you bring everything else back into order and enjoyment. NOTE: Ralph Marston Jr. is the author of The Daily Motivator, The Power of Ten Billion Dreams and Living the Wonder of It All. His website, www.greatday.com is a source of great inspiration that I reference regularly.

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

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A Matter Of Taste

Years ago, a designer friend and I attended a furniture market in High Point. We wandered into a showroom that had imported crystal chandeliers and lamps from Italy. These pieces were, in our humble opinions, the ugliest things we’d ever seen. There were pink chandeliers, lamps with long tacky gold fringe on the shades, among other horrible atrocities. We tried to be respectful and not laugh at such “tackiness”, but it took a great effort. This same friend and I have threatened to hang “Design Citations” on entranceway door knobs. When we saw a discretion on the interior or exterior of a home, store, or business; we’d leave the citation along with our business card telling the owner that they needed our business. My sweet Southern Baptist mother would be ashamed at my behavior! You’d think I’d grown up since then! Last month I was in Los Angeles at a leadership conference. The last day there, some other attendees and I hired a cab driver to take us through the swanky Beverly Hills neighborhoods where the rich and famous live. As you can imagine, our noses were pressed to the windows as we rode down every street on the map. We drooled over some of the magnificent mansions and the well-manicured landscapes. We rode by one lovely Spanish style home with a tiled roof that had the largest collection of tacky yard ornaments spread all over the front lawn. After gasping in horror, we insisted that the cab driver pull over so we could have our group photo taken in front of this design nightmare. I’m sure the driver told his family all about us over the dinner meal that night! He was a good sport and seemed to enjoy our tour as much as we did. Later, I felt guilty about being so judge-mental and wondered if people driving through our neighborhood pulled over and had their photo taken in front of my tacky yard. We did put the ballerina sculpture by the vegetable garden in the front yard to “add some class” to our act. After all, what is taste anyway? And who made me the judge? Webster’s dictionary has several definitions of the word “taste” but the ones that apply include “critical judgement, discernment, or appreciation” or “a manner of aesthetic quality indicative of such discernment of appreciation”. So I guess since I went to design school and have taken tons of art classes, this qualifies me to have taste. With the lack of time and attention to my own home and landscape, I should practice less discernment and more understanding. I’ve thought a lot about taste and why clients hire me to be their navigator through home design projects. There are several factors that determine taste in home decoration: location, age of person living there, style of the home, and current trends.

Location: Décor that is acceptable in one area of the world or even our country or neighborhood might look totally out of place in another area. For instance, a heavy wool Southwestern sofa fabric that works in a Colorado ski lodge would not work in a cottage in England. The pink crystal chandelier that my friend and I laughed at looked wonderful in the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas. The tacky yard ornaments in the Beverly Hills yard would work if distributed over an entire retirement community in Florida. Age: Another factor in the taste level of a home’s décor is the age of the person who lives there. A college student can stack milk cartons in his dorm room for storage, but this is not appropriate for a grown up’s living room unless it is in a closet. Furniture for a senior citizen with limited mobility would be different than the small painted furniture used for a child’s room. Style of the Home: The style of the home should determine the style of the furnishings. The outside and inside of a home should flow as much as possible. Even if you have eclectic tastes, you should mix in some furniture that reflects the exterior. A French Provincial home can have some contemporary pieces if there are some French pieces used as accents. Current Trends: A final way to ensure that your home is tastefully decorated is to pay attention to current trends. Even if you don’t replace every piece of furniture or accessory to reflect the most recent style, you should try to have at least a few accent pieces that show that you have some “taste from this century”. Of course, if you live in a historical landmark or a museum, you might want to avoid this rule and stay completely true to the period of the home. Sometimes life happens and good décor takes the back seat to other things like a family member’s health, an unexpected bill, or other emergencies. Having taste is not the most important thing in the world. Do the best you can with the time and resources you have to work with. If you have the funds and need help making sure that your home and business are tastefully decorated, hire a pro. You want to present your best self possible. However, you should appreciate what you have and “bloom where you are planted”. After all, it is only a matter of taste. Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31

phie Woman’s Magazine www.sophiewomansmagazine.com

Inspiration • Education • Motivation

Recipes for ife

by Emily Wickham

Food for the Body East Texas Millionaire Pie (Recipe from American Pie, by Teresa Kennedy) 1 recipe Graham Cracker Crust* 1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened ½ cup sugar 1 8-ounce can crushed pineapple, undrained (approximately 1 cup) 1 cup grated coconut 1 cup chopped pecans 1 8-ounce carton prepared whipped topping 1. Prepare the Graham Cracker Crust, reserving 4 tablespoons crumbs for garnish. Chill the crust. 2. Whip the softened cream cheese and sugar together until well blended and smooth, about 4 minutes on the high speed of an electric mixer. 3. Stir in the pineapple, coconut, and pecans and mix thoroughly. 4. Gently fold in half of the prepared whipped topping and stir until all the ingredients are well blended. Pour the filling into the crust. 5. Spread the remaining whipped topping evenly over the filling; sprinkle with the reserved crumbs. Chill several hours before serving. *Graham Cracker Crust 1 ½ cups graham cracker crumbs (about 20 crackers) 5 tablespoons butter, melted ¼ cup sugar 1. Set aside 4 tablespoons of the crumbs for garnish. 2. In a medium-size bowl, combine the remaining crumbs, the butter, and the sugar. Blend well. Press the mixture into a 9-inch pie pan, covering the bottom and the sides evenly. Chill.

A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You are the “God of all grace” (I Peter. 5:10) who most kindly forgives. I confess I sometimes hang onto past sins instead of entirely releasing them to You. Thank You for the precious blood of Your Son, Jesus Christ, that enabled my redemption and forgiveness (Colossians 1:14 paraphrase). Please help me to progressively experience the joy and freedom of Your forgiveness—past, present, and future. In Jesus’ worthy name, Amen.

Food for the Soul Looking back on my younger years, definitely I’d change some things—but not making this pie. Newly married, I gladly achieved fantastic results with this recipe. Really, can any dessert that includes cream cheese ever taste poorly? I think not! An instant hit with friends and family, this wonderfully delicious dessert ranks as one of the easiest to make and most pleasant to serve. Speaking of the past, I usually tend to recall my sinful actions as opposed to evidences of God’s grace. I regret certain choices, particular parenting mistakes, selfishness, unkind thoughts, times of inconsideration, etc. But this isn’t God’s plan. His way exceeds mine. He forgives. Absolutely God did not save me for eternity so I can spend the present looking remorsefully behind. Instead of carrying this burden, I should confess any unresolved transgressions to my Father and receive His amazing forgiveness. Or, regarding sins I’ve already confessed for which God previously has pardoned me, I need to completely accept His forgiveness. Joyfully I should embrace what Christ has accomplished on my behalf and exuberantly follow Him today. The apostle Paul compellingly shared, “… I press on in order that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus … forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12-14, NASB). Certainly Paul committed past sins that could have haunted his present. Before Christ saved and transformed him, he mercilessly persecuted God’s people. If Paul had allowed himself to reflect on that memory long enough, surely he would have become distracted from God’s purposes for his redeemed life. So his declaration to press on, lay hold of, forget, and reach forward encourages us all. Dear friend, do you struggle with regret? Do reminders of prior sins periodically race through your mind and weigh down your spirit? Enough! Romans 8:1 beautifully frees us by affirming, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No Condemnation. God knows what we’ve done, but when we admit our sins before Him, “… He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9). Further, “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). Past. Present. Future. God provides for it all. Let’s acknowledge today whatever unconfessed sins plague us from yesterday. Let’s reject regret by fully receiving God’s forgiveness and exulting in freedom. Then, satisfyingly sweet memories of God’s glorious grace will prevail in our reflections. Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life … Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through her Bible study, Reaching for Righteousness: Life ! Applications from the Book of Esther, and various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts an annual women’s conference in Greensboro, NC. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotionals and to learn more about life in Christ. To contact Emily about speaking at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences, please e-mail emily@ proclaiminghimtowomen.com. Emily, who is grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her wonderful husband and their four terrific children in western NC.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33

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BEFORE

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All shows begin at 7:30 pm unless otherwise noted. Events subject to change without notice.

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Christopher N. Reese DDS, PA

Building Bridges to Better Health

Celebrating 20 Years In Claremont What makes you feel like you have found the doctor/patient relationship that moves you forward to better overall health? Could it be the way the doctor takes time to listen and explain the what, how and why, then gives you the best solutions to your problems, which will ultimately help you attain the health goals that you have set for yourself? Knowledge is power when it comes to your health needs. Dr. Chris Reese is “Building Bridges to Better Health” by listening to his patients, doing thorough initial examinations and keeping his practice up to date with the latest dentistry has to offer. Everyone knows that a beautiful smile is one of life’s best assets. You feel good when you smile and you make someone’s day when you give one away. Why not have that for yourself? There are many reasons a person puts off getting that beautiful smile whether it be fear and anxiety from past experiences, not knowing what is available, time and finances. All of these are valid concerns that can be worked out in dentistry today. A beautiful smile can be yours today. It is never too late! Dr. Reese evaluates all patients in four main areas: 1. Periodontal (gum) health – this is the foundation for your teeth and the gateway to the rest of your body. 2. Teeth – evaluating for cavities, erosion and checking the status of existing dental work. 3. Bite – how well your chewing system works. 4. Smile analysis. Once he arrives at a proper diagnosis, then he can develop the appropriate plan to help patients keep their teeth for a lifetime or provide them with well-functioning prosthetics that will work similar to their original teeth. Many patients are amazed at the options they have. Those may range from simple procedures to more complex solutions. Dr. Reese wants his patients to let him know how his recommendations fit into their lives physically, emotionally and financially. After finishing dental school, Dr Reese practiced for several years in Raleigh. While visiting Claremont, he fell in love with its small town atmosphere and decided to move to Catawba County. September 1st will mark his 20th anniversary in Claremont. He states that he has been blessed with a wonderful, talented team. Most have been with him for many years. He thanks the Unifour and beyond for their outstanding support of his team’s purpose over the years and looks forward to many more years of developing relationships with his patients and making them smile with healthy mouths and improved self-esteem. He also would like to thank his lovely wife, Donna, for all of her support in allowing him to immerse himself in his profession.

He invites all to visit their website at PearlyWhites4Life.com. This site will tell you about Dr Reese and his team, show you their facility, give specific details on the services they provide and what their patients have to say about them. He also hopes folks will visit, and like them on Facebook. They will be celebrating their 20th Anniversary with an open house scheduled for Sunday September 8th from 4-6 pm and the public is invited. Dr. Reese spends countless hours continuing his education. After graduating from UNC School of Dentistry in 1985, he has studied at The LD Pankey Institute in Key Biscayne, FL , The Kois Center is Seattle, WA (of which he has reached Mentor status) and he completed the a year long implant fellowship at The Medical College of Georgia. He is a member of the ADA (American Dental Association), the NCDS (North Carolina Dental Association) currently serving as Board of Trustee Chairman, the AAID (American Academy of Implant Dentistry), the ICD (International College of Dentists) and the Pierre Fauchard Academy. Dr. Reese and his team have volunteered their time and talents at various dental charity events. He said that every time they get an opportunity to do so, they always feel like they received more than they gave. They have participated with the NCMOM (North Carolina Mission of Mercy) through the NCDS. Dr. Reese is a member of the statewide NCMOM Oversight Committee. They have worked at our local CCM (Cooperative Christian Ministry) clinic and the NC Baptist Men’s dental bus. With his team’s advanced dental skills and training, they are capable of performing a range of procedures from minor teeth whitening and bonding to advanced restorative procedures such as crowns, veneers, minor orthodontics, periodontal services and tooth replacement with implants.

It becomes obvious from the first contact with Dr. Reese’s office that there is something unique about their approach. If you are looking for a high-tech office with a personal touch, you should give them a call @ 459-1990. As is stated in their purpose, they strive daily to open the lines of communication with those they serve with hopes that will lead to long lasting doctor/patient relationships. That is their great reward!

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35

Attend Attach Attune

3 Keys To Emotional Intimacy

By Dr. David

(Printed with permission)

“I can’t really get my husband’s attention,” Carrie complained, her face appearing tired and drawn. “We haven’t been emotionally connected for years and I’m not sure it even bothers him.” Her husband of twelve years, Frank had said nearly the same thing to me when we met alone at The Marriage Recovery Center. “I’m not sure she really cares what I think,” he said bitterly. “She has her way of doing things and expects me to step in line. I hate it.” Talking alone with Carrie, I shared the idea that both were likely talking over the other. Neither were succeeding at really hearing their mate, engaged in a power struggle—a killer of communication. While they might think they are listening to each other, they were likely failing to fully attending to their mate. Furthermore, they were likely failing to attune to their mate, allowing their mate to influence how they thought and viewed things. “But, I’m really not sure he cares what I think,” Carrie continued. “I suspect he does care about what you think, Carrie,” I said. “However, feeling threatened by what you are saying to him, he may shut down emotionally. This is very common.” In talking to Frank individually, I said much the same thing. “Carrie can certainly be powerful in how she says things,” I said. “But, if you approach her in a non-threatening way, I suspect she may be more likely to listen to you.” “I’d like to know more about how to approach her so she will really take in what I’m saying. I don’t want to overpower her. I care about what she thinks.” “Excellent,” I said. “Let me share with you some ideas I have for both of you.” With that I shared the power of the three-step process involving attending, attaching and attuning to our mate. First, we must attend to our mate. As simple as this may sound, we often compete with the television, computer, computer games or even social networking, for our mate’s full attention. When having a significant conversation, give your mate, or ask for your mate’s full attention. This can be further enhanced by setting aside time to really connect to your mate. This can be accomplished by having a weekly date night, sitting in your favorite room with a cup of coffee, or perhaps going for

pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2013

a walk. Giving your mate your undivided attention is an invaluable connector. Second, we must attach to our mate. Not only must we attend to our mate, but we must attach to what they are saying. In other words, what they tell us must be considered important, and worthwhile. What they are saying must influence us and change us. We must convey that we care so deeply about what they are saying and are willing to alter our point of view, our behavior and perhaps even our lifestyle to accommodate their concerns. Third, we must attune ourselves to our mate. This involves the ongoing practice of carrying our mate around on our frontal lobe—in other words, we think about them and their concerns throughout the week. We care deeply about what they care about. We reflect on their concerns and consider whether we are keeping agreements we have made with them. We respond non-defensively when they remind us of any shortcoming. Scripture implores us to really listen to each other. In fact, Jesus tells us, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear” (Matthew 11:15). The suggestion here is that listening doesn’t come naturally, but takes our full attention and intention. Finally, when we attend, attach and attune ourselves to our mate, we create a powerful connection. Failure to actively engage in each of these steps will lead to disconnection. This three-step process enhances not only your marriage relationship, but any friendship or work relationship as well. Practice this process and notice your relationships improve.

Dr. David B. Hawkins is the Director of The Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of over thirty books, including the best-seller, When Pleasing Others is Hurting You.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37

Our Monthly Feature

shutterbuggerz Here are some of the best photos from our July 2013 contest, “Fire In The Sky” Submitted By:Jilly White Photography

Local Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!

s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m 38

Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s contest.

Submitted by Greta Brown Photography

Submitted by Capture The Moment Photography

Submitted by Mya Saunders

Submitted by Eddie Little

www.shutterbuggerz.com

Submitted by Heidi Casey Photography

Submitted by Sweet Nothings Photography

Submitted by Jessica Barnes

Visit Our Website For The Upcoming Monthly Themes! 40

Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contest.

August 2013 Theme is "animal house" (to be printed in the September issue) Photos that include some sort of animal. Notice the word include. Be creative! email photos to email@shutterbuggerz.com (limit 5 per contest)

Submitted by : Tiffany & Co. Photography

Submitted by : ten9photography

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Submitted by Inspired Beauty Photography Submitted by Andrea Pons

Submitted by Jilly White Photography

Submitted by Outdoor Imaging

Submitted by Alexandra Halsey Photography

Visit the website to view all the photos to enter your photo into next month’s contest. pg 40 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | Juneand 2012 42

Submitted by Dela Williams Photography

Submitted by Capture The Moment Photography

Submitted by Greta Brown Photography

www.shutterbuggerz.com www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 41 43

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JE Broyhill Civic Center    

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