VOLUME 12 - ISSUE 6 / AUGUST 2016
INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~
How to know when to go | Page 10
Sophisticated Women ~ Are you a true professional? | Page 8 Me,Myself & Inc. ~ Stop trying to start living | Page 14
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
FREE
essage M
Heart
from the
From The Editor: Judy Smith
Our country is rapidly changing and honestly, it is a little frightening to me. Please hear my heart about this. I cannot make anyone trust God who does not want to, but that is where my hope is. Trusting in Him is why I do not wring my hands with worry over the things that are happening. Yes, I did say they were a little frightening to me and here is what I mean. In Luke 12: 4-5 the Bibles tells us.. “And I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. 5 But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him! 4
Every day we wake to more tragedy. Police shootings, children murdered by their own parents, grandmothers killed by their grand kids, senior citizens shot for the little few dollars they have, or worse still, for the medicine they take. Just a couple of years ago, we were always told that we do the fighting over seas to keep from fighting Isis here but now....it is here. God tells us that man can take our life but he cannot send us to hell. God is the only one who can do that and yet, in all reality, it is not God. We have the choice. I do and you do. Maybe you tell me that you don’t believe any of this and that is your choice. In the most loving way I know how, may I ask you a question? What if I am right and you are wrong? Is that an “if” you want
to take a chance on?
You will not be “beat over the head with my bible” but if you would like to just talk about it, let me know. The one thing I can tell you for sure is: I am not afraid of man. So here is what I am a little frightened of. What our children will have to face here in our own county if we don’t do something about it and do it quick. Our freedoms are being destroyed and honestly, I do not know why more mothers don’t rise up. This political correctness that we are dealing with every day is strangling our nation and our freedoms. Mothers, why would you ever want your child that just started elementary school to have to worry about saying boy or girl? Why would you every want your child to worry about saying Mommy or Daddy? Why would you ever want your child to worry about saying the Pledge of Allegiance or even sing America the Beautiful. America is beautiful and I do Pledge my Allegiance to the United States of America. As a parent, I was proud to teach my children these things and to teach them to be kind to EVERYONE, no matter the race, religion, gender or social status. What about you. Are you OKAY with those things slipping right through our fingers....day by day by day? What are you standing on? Politics won’t fix the things that are broken. There is only ONE HOPE!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3
S
phie Woman’s Magazine
P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production & Design Manager: Scott Hansley Sales: Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste.
A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses. For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.
************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************
pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
Message from the Heart
3
Reaching Your Full Potential
6
Sophisticated Women
8
Girlfriends in God
10
The Front Porch
12
Me, Myself, & Inc.
14
Refuse to Take Notes
16
Recipe for Life
18
Thankful for the Memories
20
A Mystery & A Hero
21
Are You a Candidate for a Tiny House
22
He Said , She Said
24
My August Blues
28
The World Does Not Love Peanut
30
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Vision Tsunami
by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author
I
just returned from a trip to the coast with five of my favorite friends. We collected many hours of wave watching and laughing over candy apples and crab legs. We even walked a long fishing pier and witnessed sharks dangling on the end of multiple fishing rods.
Many people live their lives in a passive fashion, much like the easy nature of low tide, as their day to day activities barely lap at the shore of their full potential. Maybe they believed some false voice of someone in their past who said ‘you can’t’ or ‘you aren’t enough’. Perhaps the false voice was their own.
Having always been drawn like an old salt to the sea and all things nautical, I tend to see life lessons in the great creation of water and the forces that move it. As you think about how large of a ripple effect you want to make with your own life, let’s take a quick look at the distinction between the tides, the tidal wave and the grand tsunami.
Perhaps they failed to have an authentic encounter with their Creator, from whom they would certainly have been given the message, “you are more than enough and I created you for great impact”. Many never hear or recognize the voice, causing them to fail to act fully on their unique greatness. Life ebbs and flows, and ultimately passes with little notice and with little impact.
Many people mistake a tsunami as being a form of a tidal wave, but in reality, they couldn’t be more different.
Others somehow know, at least in part, that their lives were intended for purpose. They sense an inner longing to make more of an impact, but the daily nature of life stands in the way. These people occasionally take time to do those things that are significant, but often get derailed by the urgent versus the truly important. For example, the promotion at work may sound great until you realize it is causing you to fail at making your family a priority as the new salary has the close companion of longer hours and greater stress.
A tidal wave is a surface phenomenon where a wave heightens, ultimately reaching the shore with significant height and force. The waves may be over twenty feet high and can cover a span of several feet of shoreline. A tsunami, on the other Kim (front) with her five friends. hand, begins slowly under the surface … often the result of a far away underwater earthquake. It cannot even be detected until it nears the shore. It can be three times as high and cover ten times the ground surface of the most devastating tidal wave, making it a true force to be reckoned with. Tides and tsunamis are a great illustration for personal vision. People can choose to have the impact of low tide or of the tsunami. The size of our ripple effect is largely up to us. We must decide long before the impact is felt on those we long to influence to be intentional within, much like the undercurrent of the developing tsunami. While invisible to onlookers, we need to quietly develop our character, build our significant relationships, pursue our passions and natural gifting, and determine our destiny much like a seasoned sailor determines his favorite destination.
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
I believe that every person is created to leave the world around them better than they found it. Another way of saying this is that I truly believe that every life is meant to have the grand impact and influence of the magnificent tsunami. Maybe its time for you to head to the coast. If you cant find the time to actually head to the beach, maybe you can listen to a favorite beach-inspired song to watch as video of surfers riding high waves. As you immerse yourself in the salt and sand, take a few moments to ponder your own life. What are you living for and what impact are you leaving? The choice is yours. Don’t settle for low tide when you can leave those around you forever impacted by the greatness that is waiting to be released from your heart. You have gifts, passions, joys and hopes that the world is in desperate need of. As a great friend recently reminded me, if you don’t know where to begin, start by giving the world and those you love all that you personally long for. Kim Fletcher learned a few years ago that a “FLETCHER” is an arrow maker. This is fitting as she launches clients toward their true IDENTITY and DESTINY. As a coach and leader of global impact, Kim seeks less to make a difference as she shares principles of true and lasting transformation with individuals and groups internationally. Contact her directly to purchase a signed copy of The Tension Point or to discuss a coaching proposal by emailing her at: kimfletchercoach@aol.com
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
S
ophisticated
Women... Are True Professionals
Try These 10 Tactics, And Get a Reputation as a True Professional What’s your reputation? Are you perceived by your circle of influence, your colleagues and customers as a true professional? The definition of a true professional is an individual who takes care to present themselves in the best light. In fact, they often are the light that shines most brightly in the room. The way a true professional presents herself is not just a show. It is a sincere demonstration of character, common sense, and concern for the greater good. Being a professional has little to do with your rank, position or status in an organization. Instead, it is about generously giving of your strengths, talents, and gifts to a cause bigger than yourself with humility, enthusiasm, and confidence. Being a true professional is a representing yourself, your organization, and your purpose illuminating the dark places of the world with your genius! Check out these 10 Tactics, And Get a Reputation as a True Professional: 1. A true professional knows how to introduce herself. A smile is ever present. The handshake has the just the right kind of pressure. The tone and approach is upbeat, sincere, and open. 2. A true professional has a great looking business card and carries a supply everywhere they go. Easily, she can access her card and eagerly creates connections. 3. A true professional is curious about other people, asks powerful questions, and enjoys hearing what other people have to say. She is an active listener. 4. A true professional finds common ground with others. She knows that spanning the boundary between two individuals creates a relationship where synergy can create something that never existed before.
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
5. A true professional never misses an opportunity to help. Most importantly, that person offers to help and then...does what she says she is going to do. 6. A true professional stays on top of their field of expertise. She takes courses, reads books, watches TedTalks, and attends industry functions. In the process, she becomes an asset to the organization, the community, and even the world. 7. A true professional willingly mentors others. She knows that there is enough opportunity for everyone. 8. A true professional wears her uniform. Her industry has a standard dress code. The true professional “meets and exceeds” that expectation. She polishes her shoes, wears her name tag, straddles the line between fashion and tradition, and takes care to groom daily. 9. A true professional creates and surrounds herself with a network of other professionals that serve her and other’s vision for success by complimenting each other’s talents. It’s true that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. The true professional invites other people of like mind set to join her in her vision knowing that, “We are better together.” 10. A true professional loves her work and speaks highly of her organization, her co-workers, and the future. She can keep things confidential and withholds judgment. While she confidently offers her opinion, she is open to other perspectives and exercises discernment.
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9
How to Know When to Go by Gwen Smith
Today’s Truth
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. (Proverbs 19:21, ESV)
Friend to Friend
Ants have been known to ruin a picnic or two, but recently they messed up my beach time and flustered my heart. Yeah. I know. God made ants to live on the earth and we have to share space. But I just wasn’t prepared for my first afternoon away from home to be altered by the annoyance of their small yet mighty presence.
I’d really been looking forward to vacation and wanted to relax. To sit by the shoreline, chill out, and soak in the sun with my people. I wanted to enjoy the presence of God in the glory of His creation, not flick uninvited ants away from my towel and off my legs. No rest was happening because it seemed that all of the ants in America had arranged a massive dance party on the East Coast and had failed to inform me ahead of time.
I had to leave. The ants didn’t want me to join their beach party and I didn’t want to be there. I walked away disappointed and threw a little tantrum in my head. Why should I have to leave? I’m the human here! Ants are supposed to hang out in the dirt, not the sand! So I adjusted my plans and went to the pool instead.
There are times in life when things don’t work out as planned. Times when our expectations go unmet and we have to move on or make major adjustments. You might feel like you are spinning your wheels in a relationship. Maybe you haven’t moved on from something because you don’t like to quit - even though your time and energy might be more effectively spent elsewhere. I don’t know the particulars of your unmet expectations and beach-ant frustrations, but God does. Even if you haven’t talked with Him about them yet. And you’re not alone. We all have to wade through cloudy waters at times.
The Apostle Paul continually found himself in situations that were uncomfortable and frustrating. He was re-routed many times as he was rejected, thrown out of towns, beaten, and jailed. The Lord kept him from going to certain areas and led him in his journeys. (Acts 16:6) Through it all, Paul yielded his days to God’s leading. And that’s what I want to do. We can’t change hearts or make people do what we want them
pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
to do. Yes, God may have called you to a ministry, a person’s life, etc. for a season of time, but that doesn’t mean you will stay on that beach forever. Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
So how can we know when to stay and when to go? How can we know whether we should say yes or no to that opportunity? How can we know when our uncomfortable situation is to refine us, to rebuke us or to re-route us? There’s no simple answer, but there is a simple action: PRAY. Christians don’t have a crystal ball that shows us our future, but we do have access to God who delights to inform and lead His children.
Ask God for direction. Be still before Him and listen. Be faithful to go where He leads... even if it means that you need to change your plans, your attitude, your location or vocation.
Let’s Pray
Dear God, Please forgive me for the times when I am stubborn and unmovable. I want to go where You lead. Please direct my steps and help me to know what to do next about _______________ .In Jesus’s Name I pray, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Proverbs 11: 14 says, “Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is victory.” Are you applying this principle in your life? What godly people do you go to when you need advice and prayer?
More from the Girlfriends
Gwen Smith’s new book, I Want It ALL, gives you practical help that will connect your struggles to the solutions and strength of God found in the Bible. Order yours today from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, ChristianBook. com or your favorite retailer. For a signed copy, get yours from the store on Gwen’s website! Stay up with Gwen on her blog, and connect with her on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest
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Strengthen Your Recall By Adding These Foods To Your Diet:
Eat your veggies—broccoli, cabbage, dark leafy greens, raw kale salad or collard greens Be sweet on berries and cherries—Berries-- especially dark ones like blackberries and blueberries (mix into a cereal or bake into an antioxidant-rich dessert) Get adequate omega-3 fatty acids—salmon, tuna, sardines, and herring are some of the best sources. Also, a handful of walnuts as a snack or you can add kidney beans, northern beans or navy beans to a meal. These foods are not just good for the brain, but also sustain a healthy heart.
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Front The
Porch
W
hat a blessing it is for me to write this article every single month. I hope God gives me at least 25 more years that I can share my adventures and renderings with all of you. I do want to live to be 100 years old so I can pester my kids that long! With that being said, if you are a reader of my articles, first, I am the one that is blessed that anyone would even take their time to read something from a country girl like me. I know many of you do because you tell me that you do. Thank you so much and like Tennessee Ernie Ford use to say: bless your little pea pickin' heart. Second... If you are reading this, I also want to call your attention to the other writers we have. You may find a writer that only writes once in awhile or maybe this will be her only time. That is what you will find when you read the article titled "A Mystery and a Hero". It will make your heart smile and is just plain fun to read. Another article: "The World Does Not Love Peanut" will speak to you about the way we look at life. Then there is "Thankful for the Memories". It will most likely stir your thoughts on priorities. Every writer we have gives from themselves to help make your life a little better. Read them and be blessed. Now back to this article. What have you done this summer? My hope is that it has been a great summer so far and you have had lots of adventures and made lots of memories. My husband and I went to Universal Studios last month. Yep, you heard me right. Even with the heat that we have been having here, I guess we lost our minds and decided to go to the middle of Florida to walk around on black pavement for a couple of days because.....
by Judy Smith
well, we love to ride the movies. Plus we are getting old and we might not ever be able to do that again. Plus....we lost our minds. Did I say that already? You know the saying "I'm melting"? We have all said it. Here me loud and clear on this. It is not true! I do not care how much water flows from your drenched body. Even the sweat was sweating. Here was the real test...my husband was even sweating. He never sweats. He is so cold natured I was not sure it was possible. But hey, he picked the place. One of our grandsons has joined the Air Force and his parents paid for him to have a "jump". Yes sir, jump right out of an airplane. I was not able to go with them that day but my husband, who was a paratrooper was so excited to go..... sort of this bond thing they had going on. They did a video with the camera on his arm as he made the jump so I got to see it. I am just sort of glad I wasn't there for the real thing. They might have had to do CPR on me. The look on his face when he had to go to the door of the plane and get ready to jump....priceless. Summer is not over and you still have a month before school starts back. I am not suggesting you push them out of an airplane but give them something to write about when the teacher on the first day of school asks them to write about what they did during the summer. Make sure it was with you and not just other family members or a summer camp or even a day care center. Keep in mind, the memory is not just for them! Now onto my next 25 years! Adventures R Us
"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.�
pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Cassie Hansley
Submitted by Lacey Hull
Submitted by Mayberry Photography
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
Stop Trying to Start Living I may ruffle a few feathers with this month’s column or make you feel uncomfortable, because I am going to challenge something every one of us has said at one time or another. What is it that we say? “I am trying.” or “I’ll try.” has passed through everyone’s lips at some point in their lives. The problem arises when it is being said on a continual basis. Why? Because if you are continually “trying” then what are you actually doing, and more important, what are you actually saying? In my role as a mentor to others, I have found, without exception, that when the word “try” or “trying” is being used, it is a cop out, plain and simple. You’re either doing or not doing. You are either being or not being. Trying is a halfhearted answer for a half-hearted effort. When you are only trying, there is an underlying message being sent that you don’t want it strong enough or you are not confident it will actually happen. Doing your best versus getting by: Whenever I hear “I am trying.” it compels me to ask, “But are you doing your best?” Trying can be doing what is easy versus what is right or what is next. When you are always striving to do your best in any given situation, it isn’t always easy. That’s the value of doing your best. It forces you to step up. It forces you beyond what you were doing before. It keeps you from doing the same things that were not garnering a different, or better result to move you forward.
towards achieving success? Trying gives you permission to slack off instead of continually charging forward, looking for options and alternatives. Trying is your scapegoat for giving up. Being stuck versus in motion: Oftentimes when someone says they have been trying, it’s because they feel like they are getting nowhere. The problem lies in that they are focused on being stuck instead of analyzing what can be done to get things moving again. Someone isn’t calling them back. A meeting keeps getting delayed. An important task never seems to make it to the top of their list or someone else’s list. Send a note or drop by instead of calling again. Find another person you can call. Perhaps a virtual or video meeting will be more convenient. Perhaps there is another person you can meet with who is more available. Make what needs to be done a priority or hand that task to someone else who will get it done. Living versus existing: Living life on a trail basis is not an option. We only have one life, so we best leverage every moment with action and intention. When you are continuously caught in a “trying” mindset, you are not giving yourself enough credit in what you are truly capable of doing and accomplishing. When you make every moment about “doing,” this is when your spirit begins to soar. You begin to overcome obstacles, which inspires you to do more and to take more risks. It is once you are doing that you are honoring your ability to make progress. A life worth living is constantly moving forward.
Excuses versus reasons: Trying is an excuse that gets in the way of your triumph. It allows your excuses to have more power than your reasons. It causes a constant battle within you questioning “Are you good enough?” “Are you smart enough?” “Are you capable enough” “Are you blessed enough?” “Are you enough?” So ask yourself instead, “What are my reasons for doing this or striving for this?” Your answers should inspire you, motivate you, and excite you. If your reasons don’t, then it is no wonder you are not really engaged in actually making it happen.
No matter what may be challenging you, or what lies ahead of you, there are choices you can make that will propel you forward or help you shift how you need to shift to get where you ultimately want to go. Choose to eliminate the word “try” from your vocabulary, and watch how your life really begins to take off!
Failure versus success: Trying subconsciously causes you to be mentally prepared for inevitable failure versus having an unwavering belief in inevitable success. It’s your fallback in being able to say, “Well, at least I tried.” However, did you really? Have you actually exhausted all possible avenues
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
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o t g n i s u f e R ake Notes t
‘Hup. I said no note-taking’, would come the professor’s whispered reminder. Oh, right. I’d lower my virtual pen and wedge my notepad into my backpack, already stuffed with several records of wrongs. But like an addict seeking relief, I might remember I’ve got a handy notetaking app on my cell and quickly tap the screen so as not to forget another wrong-doing. Note-taking. Always, always note-taking, despite God’s instructions otherwise. Love…doesn’t keep score of the sins of others. I Corinthians 13:5b (The MSG) Glancing at my notebook, what do I see? References to several offender’s offenses, recorded in blood red ink: I remember when she didn’t…and the time he…of course, I will never, ever forget that they…
by Mary Felkins
It (love) keeps no record of wrongs. I Corinthians 13:5b As the curtain is being drawn on a lazy stretch of summer, school is back in session for many. Students will be crowding store aisles, scanning shelves for slick, new notebooks and pens and pencils with which to take notes in class. God is all about taking notes. His Spirit-breathed word was penned by select scribes, from Moses to John the Apostle who was privileged to glimpse eternity as he recorded the book of Revelation. Note-taking is essential. Without it, I’d forget much of what a speaker said, what I’d read in a book, or how to do something. But depending on the information being recorded, some (ahem, of us) ought not to take any notes at all. Because there are times when note-taking is truly a bad idea. A tongue-clucking, head-shaking, really bad idea. Imagine the first day of class, a gray-bearded professor with a throaty bellow stands and says to his pupils, “In this class, there shall be no note-taking.” He may even follow with a good, hard slam of his palm against the desktop. It would give me cause to expel a relieved breath, slouch comfortably in my chair, and toss my pen back into the cavern of my purse while I worked a smile across my face. Easy A here.
On and on it goes until my head and heart are filled with the unrefined sludge of other’s transgressions, detailed records kept through the years. The burden to carry all those ledgers becomes ever greater, earning me nothing but stiff shoulders and a twisted posture, not to mention ruptured relationships and a grieving Holy Spirit. There are unspeakable wrongs that have been suffered throughout all of mankind. History is replete with a record of losses, dating back to the beginning of Biblical record when Cain slew his brother Abel (Genesis 4:8). Satan is still on his stealthy hunt and sin crouches at my door. And it only serves to benefit his cause when I scribble down, yet another, wrong suffered and, thus, keep my heart in a darkened place. I wonder, what would God’s record book look like, the one with my name on it? What would it be entitled? Maybe something like, All the Times She Messed Up. And what if all those wrongs were held against me until full restitution had been paid? I shudder to think. Because the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). But… God is love (I John 4:8b). And love keeps no record (I Corinthians 13:5b). So, then, destroy your notebook, sister! - at least the one with all those scribbly, scrabbly peevish notations about others mid-deeds. Whether class is in session or not, it’s time I got my hands on a holy paper shredder and refused to take any more notes. It (love) keeps no record of wrongs. I Corinthians 13:5b
Um, no. Especially not if this bearded professor was God, my text was His word, and the classroom consisted of people all around me … friends and family, fellow church members, peeps at my place of business, those traveling beside me on the interstate. Even that Super Shuttle driver who doesn’t share my same degree of concern that I arrive at the airport on time. And just as I reach for my notebook to jot down these shortcomings…
pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Her first novel, a contemporary Christian romance, is currently under contract with Prism Book Group (www.prismbookgroup.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written. Married to Bruce Felkins, together they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver. She can be bribed to take a break from writing if chocolate is involved in the negotiation process. For stories that stir the soul, Mary cordially invites you to her website, www.maryfelkins.com
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Recipes for ife
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by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body Carol Barnes’s Peach Cobbler (A Rist family recipe) 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour ½ tsp. salt 2 tsp. baking powder 1 cup milk 28 oz. canned peaches ½ cup soft butter
Sift the dry ingredients together and add the milk, stirring until mixture resembles cake batter. Pour into a greased 2-qt. glass dish. Empty the can of peaches with its juice over the batter (do not stir). Dot with butter and sprinkle 2 Tbsp. of sugar over all. Bake on 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes. (It bakes better if batter is spread slightly higher on the sides. Also, I lower the temperature to 325 degrees and shorten the baking time as needed. Cobbler is ready when lightly browned and center is soft.)
A Prayer for God’s Blessing
Loving Father in heaven, You are my Creator, the One who shaped me in my mother’s womb. I confess my forgetfulness about this simple but breathtaking truth: I am Your handiwork. Thank You for forming me and giving me purpose. Most of all, thank You for sending Your Son as my Savior, who paid for my sins by dying on the cross. Please enable me to live this life as a full expression of my love for You. Let me glorify You all my days. In Jesus’ magnificent name, Amen.
Food for the Soul Every good meal deserves to finish with a scrumptious dessert like peach cobbler. Moist cake filled with sweetened fruit and topped with buttery goodness—how could that disappoint? It’s the perfect ending to a summer evening meal.
Life is composed of beginnings and endings. We enter this world as tiny babes, though each of our beginnings technically starts in the secret place of our mother’s womb. I love how God’s Word describes His handiwork of us: “For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works, And my soul
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, When I was made in secret.” Psalm 139:13-15, NASB Did you catch that? We are His handiwork. You are His handiwork. God weaves every human being together and sees each of us before anyone else catches sight—before anyone even knows we exist. We’re highly valued by our Creator and fashioned for a purpose. At the other end of the spectrum, our lives on earth eventually will come to a close. While news headlines are saturated with despairing reports about lives taken needlessly amidst this world’s violence and evil, they don’t tend to announce the fact that death occurs regularly throughout the world. It’s just understood. “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—A time to give birth, and a time to die.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
These realities are non-negotiable. The question we all face, however, is what do we do with the in-between? God created every person with different skill sets, talents, passions, and dreams. Various purposes. Yet He formed each one of us with a sense of His existence, an awareness of Him. “Because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.” Romans 1:1920 God is displayed in creation, and He’s revealed Himself in His Son, the Word made flesh. Jesus, who entered our world as a tiny babe, died as the suffering Savior, and rose again as the victorious Lord, is God. So, we must determine what we think of Him. Our concept of Christ determines how we live our years in-between birth and death. Dear friend, is Jesus your Savior? I hope so. But if not, please know He died so you can live. Will you place your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ today? Then, at the end of your earthly life, you’ll live with Him for eternity. What a precious hope we possess in Christ.
Speaking of beginnings and endings, it’s been a joyous privilege to share Christ with you the past four-and-a-half years. Yet God is pointing my writing in new directions, so this is my last Recipe for Life. I hope you’ll connect with me on my blog or social media, and I leave you with this prayer: May God draw you closer to Himself each day through His beloved Son, Jesus, who is “the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end” (Rev. 22:13). Love to you in Christ, Emily Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19
memories
Thankful for the by Debbie Roberson
M
y Daddy is 81 and Mother is 80. I know how extremely blessed I am to have my parents with me still. Increased age means more drives to doctor’s appointments. They have reached the point of needing someone to help decipher all that their doctors tell them, and I am happy to be their extra set of ears. As long as Mother is in the car with us, I don’t have to worry about lulls in conversation. She sits in the passenger seat next to me and darts from topic to topic like a hummingbird zips from blossom to blossom. She talks and laughs, and I laugh too. Occasionally my mind drifts as she chatters on and on, but the sound of her voice makes my heart smile. I am thankful for the memory. My sweet Daddy was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago. It’s a horrible disease which is slowly robbing him of his memories and his ability to reason. He sits quietly in the back seat of the car as we head to Greenville for Mother’s doctor’s appointment. I watch him in the rear view mirror as Mother chats happily. He doesn’t engage in the conversation much anymore, and that makes my heart sad. We come up on a spot on NC Highway 264 on the way to Greenville where I see a logging crew doing some “thinning”. I draw Daddy’s attention to the logging operation, and for a few moments, he is his old self again. I can tell that he has been taken back in his mind to his days as Logging Superintendent at Weyerhaeuser. I am thankful for the memory. We pass by a dirt lane which turns off of Highway 264, and Daddy tells me about his friend who lived up at the end of that lane. He has passed away now, but Daddy tells me that he bought his last guitar from him. He reminisces about how much he enjoyed going to his friend’s house to “play music”. I am thankful for the memory. My Daddy had his private pilot’s license for as long as I can remember. It made me cry when he had to give them up because of this horrible disease. We pass by the Pitt Greenville Airport and Daddy says, “I have flown in there many a time.” I know that he is thinking of the many happy hours he spent soaring in the clouds. I am thankful for the memory. After Mother’s doctor’s appointment, I take them for lunch to Parker’s BBQ in Greenville. Daddy finds two shiny pennies on the floor as soon as we sit down. He gives them to Mother with a quiet smile, because he still somehow knows that it delights her to find change that way. I am thankful for the memory.
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
I watch as my Daddy bows his head to bless the food before we eat. As of yet, there has been no disconnect in his conversations with His Heavenly Father. His hair is the same color as his own Mama’s was before she died. It is white – not gray – but snowy white. It is noisy in the restaurant and I strain to hear every word of Daddy’s prayer. I memorize the sight of his snowy bowed head and I drink in the sound of his words of thanksgiving. I neatly fold the sight and the sound, tucking them safely away in my heart. I am thankful for the memory. While we are waiting for our meal, Mother sees someone she knows and she gets up from the table to go over and chat. My Daddy shakes his head. With a slight smile and a twinkle in his blue eyes he says, “Your Mama knows everybody and everybody knows her.” I can tell that he was proud of that fact. I am thankful for the memory. The day is bright and beautiful as we ride home. Hot tears well up in my eyes as I think of how one day soon Daddy won’t be able to appreciate the beauty of a summer day. I look in the rearview mirror again and catch my Daddy’s eye. “Look at that beautiful blue sky,” he says reverently. I am thankful for the memory. Mother and Daddy both thank me as I drive up their driveway. I wonder if they can possibly know how blessed I am by their continued presence in my life. We get out of the car and my Daddy gives me a big hug and tells me that he loves me. I hold his hug a little longer than usual. I am thankful for the memory. I watch them both as they walk up to the back door of the home of my childhood. Daddy walks ahead of his bride of 62 years and opens the back door for her. In the twinkling of an eye, I am taken back in my own mind to the way they looked when I was a little girl. For just a moment they are once again the parents of my youth. The thought makes me smile. I am thankful for the memories.
“Honor your Father and Mother . . .”
Debbie Roberson is a wife and the mother of a grown married son. She is also the mother of a beautiful daughter who now lives in Heaven. She is a lover of Jesus with a desire to encourage and inspire others through the words that He puts in her heart.
Exodus 20:12
A MYSTERY AND A HERO…
O
By Mary Morris
ur nine hens have experienced a huge reduction in their egg production. Hot temperatures and trauma can cause that. They were traumatized two weeks ago when a hungry varmint climbed the picket fence and over the wire fence during the night and helped themselves to one of our hens. After dragging her out of the Hilton Hen House that night, all that was left was a few feathers strewn in the chicken yard. It was indeed a sad sight to behold. Possums and raccoons both are quite capable of this kind of conduct. Since the heat has been rather intense recently, we knew that could also be a contributing factor to this reduction in egg productivity. Mysteriously, on some days we only got one egg or three instead of the usual six or more. My husband went out like usual to gather eggs the other day and upon opening the hinged door to the nests, he came eye to eye with a very fat 5 1/2 ft. black snake that happened to be enjoying the tasty egg he had just slurped into his mouth. Yep, “he was caught with egg on his face.” My husband quickly shut the door, came in the house and dug out some heavy work gloves, along with his pistol, before proceeding back to the scene of the crime. Upon reopening the door, he discovered that the snake was nowhere in sight. Yikes! Then he noticed one piece of straw moved where this well fed snake had hidden beneath the bedding. Being the brave man that he is, he quickly plunged his hand down into the straw, grabbed that ole boy, snatched him up and threw him out on the ground where that snake immediately died of lead poisoning = shot dead using lead bullets. Please know that my kind husband usually gently catches snakes with his bare hands and releases them up the road in a nearby field. But my snake handler had absolutely no mercy on this ole boy.
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Hopefully, that fat snake doesn’t have any family lurking in our woods that will decide to slither into the Hilton Hen House for dinner any time soon. We are thankful that we now have happy hens once again, egg production is back up and the mystery has been solved.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21
I
have finally done it! After 32 years in the industry, I have been working on a tiny house. The clients sold their big house and decided to downsize. They got rid of A LOT of personal things and moved to the lake. Of course, the wife still has lots of clothes and now has a separate tiny house for her shoes and fashions. The back deck is amazing-that is where the couple spends most of their time. As few as 20 years ago, we were all in a race to see who could have the biggest and most impressive homes. I had clients who struggled to fill such large spaces. Furniture that looked great in their former house was dwarfed in the huge living room with the cathedral ceiling. Sofas grew to over 100 inches as the room sizes increased. Even before the economic downturn, many of us have made a conscious effort to simplify and downsize. The “McMansions” from the ‘90s are losing appeal and homes and furniture are shrinking. Wasted space, such as the large foyer with the huge Palladian window, is not as common in new construction. Sara Suzanka wrote a book several years ago called “The Not So Big House”. Her book started a trend of building higher quality homes with more dollars spent per square foot but with less space. Now the trend of smaller and more energy-efficient homes is going to the extreme. One of my favorite TV shows is “House Hunters, Off the Grid”. Couples on this show shop for houses that are in trees in a forest or underground dug-outs in the desert. Some have no electricity or running water and are out in the middle of nowhere. A real estate trend that is sweeping the world is “micro houses”. In an effort to save money, simplify, and have a lower energy footprint; people are rethinking their needs. Tiny houses are popping up all over the globe. These structures are usually 65 to 400 square feet. Many are powered by solar panels and propane tanks. Some have composting toilets. According to Business Insider, “The benefits of tiny house living are endless. The homes are easy to manage, not to mention better for the environment. The size limitation forces tenants to de-clutter their lives and keep only the necessities.” I saw some of these homes in modular form at the Dwell exhibition in Los Angeles a few years ago. Many were made of recycled materials
pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
Are You A Candidate For A Tiny House? by Susan Guest, ASID
and were small two rooms with a tiny bath. Two could be put together joined with a breezeway to form a larger home. I could have easily lived in one of these if the view was incredible, but I would have struggle to find enough space for clothes and shoes! Another trend that is being combined with the micro houses is the use of recycled materials. I’ve seen photos of homes made from freight containers-some stacked together or joined with a breezeway. Other homes are being built from grain silos. Old windows, rubber tires, and all kinds of discarded wastes are getting a new life in the construction of residences. Tiny homes can be cute fairly-like structures. They can be tree houses. They can also look like a hobbit structure. They can float on water or be constructed on top of a larger building. Price tags on many are $600025000. Annual energy costs can be less than $1000. They could be the answer to homelessness, disaster relief, re-use of discarded materials, high energy costs, debt, and lack of available land. Micro houses can be fun and creative. They can be a great choice for those of us who refuse to “grow up”. There are some obvious disadvantages-including the bath being very close to the kitchen and having to constantly de-clutter. If you are considering building a micro house, you might want to research the places across the country where you can rent one for a few days. This will give you a chance to see if building smaller is a good option for you and your family. Most people who have built these houses have done so to save money, but have found that their new lifestyle is fulfilling.
Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
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He Said, She Said
Parenting Your Parents by David and Amy Washco
T
here’s no way to truly prepare for becoming a parent. You read the books, take birthing classes, but nothing prepares you for the moment that tiny helpless bundle of dependent joy is placed in your arms. What if that bundle of dependence has grey hair, is hard of hearing, refuses to give up the car keys and goes by the name of Mom or Dad? With 6500 American’s turning 65 years old on a daily basis, the growing responsibility of “parent care” is fast becoming a challenging reality. Many 40 year olds (still learning how to parent their own children) are finding themselves faced with the added stress of learning how to parent their aging parents. Adding to this strange dynamic is the inability to predict the date of this impending role reversal. The needs of an aging parent aren’t always obvious to immediate family. Many seniors will go to great lengths to protect their independence and hide their inability to care for themselves. What are the signs that you might need to step in and parent your parent? In the spirit of comedy legend, Jeff Foxworthy, here are some questions to ask yourself to get the conversation started: He Said: If you find yourself using sign language and facial expressions to communicate because the volume on your parent’s TV is too loud, you might be parenting your parents. If you add money to the tip your parent left on the table at the restaurant, you might be parenting your parents. If your aging parents who live in South Carolina drive through the state of Tennessee to visit you in North Carolina, you might be parenting your parents. If your parent (who slapped your elbows off the table growing up) is now holding and feeding their pet Chihuahua on their lap during dinner, you might be parenting your parents. If your parent (in preparation for the drive home) takes their long pants off in the church parking lot after the service, you might be parenting your parent. pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
She Said: If your parent tells you the same story during the same week with three different endings, you might be parenting your parent. If your parent falls and threatens to disinherit your siblings if they tell you about the fall, you might be parenting your parent. If you set off the house alarm and have to explain to the police that your parents forgot you were in their house, you might be parenting your parent. If your parent who lives out of town shows up for a visi,t a full day ahead of schedule without any communication and acts like this is completely normal, you might be parenting your parent. If your parent falls asleep and snores in mid-conversation with you on the phone, you might be parenting your parent. Both Amy and I grew up with parents who were over achievers. They modeled leadership, wisdom, proper etiquette, confidence, and morality- all qualities and behaviors we value and are trying to instill in our children. Where did those parents go? While we have given up on trying tomake them behave, we’ll never give up on trying to keep them healthy and safe. Everyone eventually ages. Memory, sight and hearing fade over time. The only thing that truly lasts is love. Your parents loved you enough to parent you as dependent children. It takes love, respect, patience, energy and a sense of humor to parent them as they age and become more dependent on you.
David and Amy Washco are survivors of divorce and serve as relationship advocates. With a sales and marketing background, they are married and live in Hickory, NC. David and Amy are parents to 18 year old Savannah and 10 year old Riley.
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by Jan McCanless
had to check my calendar twice the other day, I couldn’t believe my eyes, August? Already?...Really?? I’ve always thought of August as a transitional month, we transition to autumn, never mind that we still have most of September to go yet before fall arrives, I still think of August as the tail end of summer, much like March being the tail end of winter. It’s one of those months that enables us to ease from one season to the next. This last full month of summer always makes me a little nostalgic; I remember, as a child, mentally preparing myself for the next school year during the month, and contemplating all the great new school supplies, not to mention the new shoes, I would receive before the first bell tolled. With great sadness, we always wound down our 1:59:49 PM summers at our northern Michigan cabin, where the fishing, swimming and lollygagging were never ending, and our thoughts turned to the coming autumn months. How many days until Halloween, how many until Christmas? It was just what we did, as kids.
Proud Participant of the
Program
I
My August Blues
This August seems to have arrived after the shortest year of my life. Why is it the longer we live, the faster time flies? Earlier this year, my good friend Camille and I had our girls week R & R we try to take every year, I had a busy and successful book tour, we all lived through some health problems, I attended my 55th high school reunion in Atlanta and here we are again, into August. Try as I might, I cannot get overly concerned about the passage of time, I’m having too much fun living in the moment. I may be getting old, I may be slower of step, and can’t run with the big dogs anymore, but, by golly, I can still have fun !!! This month has two of my precious grandsons having birthdays, putting them ever closer to the day they leave for college, my aforementioned friend Camille, just got a clean bill of health after a scare, and I just received another bionic part for this old carcass. Woo hoo !!! I’m on a roll. Autumn may be just around the corner, but, my life is definitely blessed, in so many ways. No matter the time of year, I am thankful and grateful for my many dear friends, my church family, my personal relationships, all those darling grandkids. Every month brings more blessings, more wonderful surprises, and more reasons to get out of bed each day. A week ago, we were so dry and parched, my flowers were wilting, and then . .. it rained two days ago. Now, the flowers in my yard are big, bright, and flourishing once again. The earth around us is vibrant and green.
Find us on Facebook and PamPeredHickory.com pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
the world does not love Peanut.... By Mrs. Ashlee S. Mize
“Jesus loves me.” This well known song packs a Gospel punch. God is always showing His love for us. We don’t have to look farther than the Christian family to find the perfect example. God is our Father because His Son made us His children. A husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church. And the child who is brought to church is blessed. Every time we hear the Word of God preached and come to His altar we find that faith is planted firmly and grows immeasurably. God is always growing and guiding us like a proper father who loves His children. That same Father has seen it fit to grow life inside of me. We call our baby, “Peanut.” Peanut is loved. But the world does not love Peanut. We live in a time where the fabric of the natural family is under serious attack. Christ told us that the world would hate us because it first hated Him.. It almost seems as if up is down and down is up. Instead of looking to the Christian Church to help raising up a child in the way that they should go, the world sees the Christian Church as the main source of bigotry and hatred. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. And we do so by attending church. A member of Augustana Church once asked me, “Do you know how much this baby will be loved?” Maybe I don’t know precisely, but I know that by raising our child in the church there will be more than enough love to go around. 1 Samuel 1:27-28 reads, “’For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord.’ And he worshiped the Lord there.” For us, that house of the Lord is Augustana Lutheran. At Augustana we will hand our child over to the Lord and our child will worship Christ. Our child will be prayed for, loved,
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2016
disciplined, and the faith in our child will grow. These are the things hoped for and promised by Christ. He keeps His promise even as He is knitting the bones together within me. It is a wonderful confession of faith to bring up a child in the church. It’s overwhelming to realize how much our child is already loved by Gaven and me. What is even more astounding is how much God loves our child. Christ once said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” May we never hinder our children, but hurry them to God’s font. Loving parents love their children when they bring them to church. Parents love their children because Christ first loved us. We love our children, because we have been made God’s own children from the cross of Christ. We love our children when we point them to the empty tomb and proclaim, “He is risen, indeed! Hallelujah!” Parents teach their children, “Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.” How will our children know the love of Christ if they do not hear the word? Christ died for our children. Christ lives for our children. The Gospel is anything but child’s play. In fact, it is everything that we depend upon. Peanut is deeply loved, this we know, for the Bible tells us so. With all the worries this world brings to our doorstep we don’t have to worry about our child being raised without Jesus. We also have a church who equally awaits the meeting of our child at Augustana. When you are assured that the people in church love you, you don’t worry for a second about how they will help raise your child. In the house of the Lord you will find parental peace. How? By God pouring out His love on His people. And from that love the Christian family is created. In other words; love created this I know for a child within me grows.
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