VOLUME 11 - ISSUE 10 / DEC 2015
INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~
Are you living a Hit and Run Lifestyle? | Page 14
Charlynn Bowman MEET
Photo by Terra Bailey Photography
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
Sophisticated Women ~ Are you open to opportunities? | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ It’s time to reflect and celebrate! | Page 28
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Heart from the
The media is trying to tell me that it is not politically correct to say “Merry Christmas”. Guess what media, I am still going to say it. What will be next...banishing nativity scenes? Oh wait.... they are already up to that. Every Christmas; a time of generosity, well wishes and preparation for Christ’s birth, there seems to be more and more attacks from people trying to purge any mention of Christ from Christmas. Did you know that even a school was targeted for a performance of “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. Heck, they even say that Christmas trees have too much religious content. Christmas is a wonderful time of the year. I am so sorry that a few do everything they can to destroy it for others. So who is with me? Merry Christmas anyone? Here’s the song I am going to sing at the top of my lungs....
From The Editor: Judy Smith
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas Ev’rywhere you go; Take a look in the five-and-ten, glistening once again With candy canes and silver lanes aglow.
NO, not everywhere. For the life of me, I just can’t understand it. Who doesn’t love Christmas and what harm is it to say Merry Christmas? Most of you, I am sure, have heard about the movement to remove the traditional symbols of Christmas. Malls across the country are going with a new theme.....something that looked like a space ship from Star Trek. No sleigh, Santa workshop, Mrs. Clause or reindeer.....just a blue thingee! Thankfully, most of them are coming to their senses and changing back after many protests and disgruntled shoppers. Then we look at Starbucks with their traditional holiday cups. Where did they go. One person started telling others that when they ask for your name tell them it is Merry Christmas and you are getting the last laugh. Oh my goodness, the next thing you know we will not be able to watch Miracle on 34th Street....at least until they remake it. That movie is all about Macy’s Christmas, even with Santa flying in at the end of the parade....nope, not on a spaceship but a sleigh with flying reindeer! Plus what will happen to the movie A Christmas Story? How in the world will they rewrite that scene when Ralphy finally gets the nerve to tell Santa he wants an “official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle.” Just look at the elaborate Santa display they have for Santa to come back and say “You’ll shoot your eye out kid” and kicks him down the chute.
Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head. The stars in the sky looked down where he lay, The little Lord Jesus asleep in the hay. The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes, But little Lord Jesus no crying he makes. I love Thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky And stay by my cradle til morning is nigh. Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay Close by me forever, and love me, I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care, And take us to heaven, to live with Thee there.
Merry Christmas to all of our readers from the staff at Sophie Woman’s Magazine www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3
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phie Woman’s Magazine
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************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************
pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
Message from the Heart A True Christmas Story Reaching Your Full Potential Sophisticated Women
3 5 6 8
Unexpected Beauty
12
Girlfriends in God
14
Downtown Newton in December
18
Front Cover Story - Sunrise Appliance
20
A Christmas Message for Brides
24
The Front Porch
26
Me, Myself, & Inc.
28
Who’s My Best Present?
30
Recipes for Life
32
The Christmas Gift
34
From Trash to Treasure
36
Strengthening Family Connections
39
Day In & Day Out
40
A Gift for Daddy
44 46
Serendipity
A True Christmas Story
R
obert May was a short man, barely five feet in height. He was born in the early part of the last century, that is to say, the nineteen hundreds.
Bullied at school, he was ridiculed and humiliated by other children because he was smaller than other boys of the same age. Even as he grew up, he was often mistaken for someone’s little brother. When he left college he became employed as a copywriter with Montgomery Ward, the big Chicago mail order house. He married and in due course, his wife presented him with a daughter. Then when his little daughter was two years old, tragedy struck; his wife was diagnosed with a debilitating disease. She became bedridden and remained so until she died. Nearly everything he earned went on medication and doctor’s bills. Money was short and life was hard. One evening in early December of 1938 and two years into his wife’s illness, his four-year-old daughter climbed onto his knee and asked, “Daddy, why isn’t Mummy like everybody else’s mummy?” It was a simple question, asked with childlike curiosity. But it struck a personal chord with Robert May. His mind flashed back to his own childhood. He had often posed a similar question, “Why can’t I be tall, like the other kids?” The stigma attached to those who are different is hard to bear. Groping for something to say to give comfort to his daughter, he began to tell her a story. It was about someone else who was different, ridiculed, humiliated and excluded because of the difference.
group listened in laughter and amusement. But then became silent and after he finished, they broke into spontaneous applause.
Later, and feeling quite pleased with himself, he went home, wrapped the book in Christmas wrapping and placed it under the modest Christmas tree. To say that his daughter was pleased with her present would be an understatement. She loved it! When Robert returned to work after the Holiday, he was summoned to the office of his head of department. He wanted to talk to Bob about his poem. It seemed that word had got out about his reading at the Christmas party. The Head of Marketing was looking for a promotional tool and wondered if Robert would be interested in having his poem published.
The following year, 1939, printed copies of the book were given to every child who visited the department stores of Montgomery Ward and it eventually became an international best seller, making Robert a rich man. His wife had unfortunately died during this time, but he was able to move from the small apartment and buy a big house. He was at last able to provide handsomely for his growing daughter. The story is not quite over. In 1947, songwriter Johnny Marks used the theme of Robert’s poem for a song. He showed the song to a famous film star of the day, Gene Autry, ‘The Singing Cowboy’. Autry recorded the song and it became a world-wide number one hit. You may just remember it. The first line goes....”Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose.....!”
Bob told the story in a humorous way, making it up as he went along; in the way that many fathers often do. His daughter laughed, giggled and clapped her hands as the misfit finally triumphed at the end. She then made him start all over again from the beginning and every night after that he had to repeat the story before she would go to sleep. Because he had no money for fancy presents, Robert decided that he would put the story into book form. He had some artistic talent and he created illustrations. This was to be his daughter’s Christmas present. The book of the story that she loved so much. He converted the story into a poem. On the night before Christmas Eve, he was persuaded to attend his office Christmas Party. He took the poem along and showed it to a colleague. The colleague was impressed and insisted that Robert read his poem aloud to everyone else at the party. Somewhat embarrassed by the attention, he took the small hand written volume from his pocket and began to read. At first the noisy
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: The Fire of Love by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author
“The Son of God became a man to enable men to become the sons of God.” C.S. Lewis Exercise is a great way to maintain a healthy mind and body. Many people begin a new year by making resolutions to lose weight or build muscle. Too often, however, men and women get stuck in an exercise rut, following the same exercise routine week after week. Not only can this be boring, fitness experts advise that it’s necessary to change an exercise routine periodically to continue to see results. It’s one reason why many fitness clubs unveil new classes every few weeks. Just when you master the choreography of a class, it’s time to change! With repetition, the body adapts and grows accustomed to the routine, using less energy as a result. That can affect your ability to lose weight. Changing your workout forces your body to work harder, producing better results. If you exercise with a trainer, discuss ways to modify your normal routine to surprise your body. Increased intensity, interval training, adding sprints to running, taking different classes, or even increasing the frequency of your workouts may do the trick.
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
In the Christmas season, I often find myself thinking of holiday memories from past years. The moments that carry weight are almost always rooted in relationships. As I realized that this article would print in the December issue, I asked myself the simple question, “What one Christmas comes to mind as the most memorable?” Now granted, there is not just one simple answer. I shared many wonderful years with one of my closest friends who would travel to North Carolina from her home in Idaho in years when we were both alone. I also spent one wonderful Christmas at the home of my second parents in Rochester, New York. If I say “Italian family Christmas,” would I need to say any more? The home made lasagna was just the appetizer! But one year does stand out from all the rest. Growing up in Boone, North Carolina, the culture was diverse from the university elite to the simple mountain folk. My father worked in the insurance industry for many years, often befriending his clients and helping them out when they didn’t have enough money to pay their insurance premiums. This one particular year, a devastating house fire had threatened to steal the hope of one precious mountain family. They had emerged with their children and their lives intact, but had lost most all of their meager material possessions. While there is never a good time for a tragedy, Christmas time with young children in the house was perhaps the worst possible timing of all. I remember my father coming home and telling me and my mom what had happened. Then the idea occurred to us that we could sacrifice some of our own Christmas desires to help make theirs better.
We arrived with much love and a few presents, only to find their rustic temporary housing drafty with mountain air, filled with wood smoke and the table set with a Cajun feast (if I recall correctly, one of the parents was originally from Louisiana) with enough food to feed half of Watauga county. The day impacted my teenage spirit so much that I can still tell you what I was wearing ‌ well-worn blue jeans and a green Izod sweater. Laughter erupted immediately and there was no sadness to be found. Multiple kids sat on the floor ripping into gifts. Bows and ribbon flew in the air like confetti at a parade while the adults mused over what is really important. I learned many valuable lessons that day. You may want to carry a few of them into your Christmas season this year – you may even want to carry them beyond the holiday season into your daily life. I learned: 1. Tragedies such as a house fire hold the power to destroy our physical possessions but WE HOLD THE POWER to determine whether or not it destroys us. 2. The human heart LONGS FOR love far more than it longs for gifts. 3. The gifts I sacrificed gave a family the eternal GIFT OF HOPE. 4. Cajun food tastes better when shared at a rustic picnic table in a drafty house than in any fancy Bourbon Street bistro when the
atmosphere is set with the power of TRANSFORMATION. 5. The person who thinks they have something to GIVE is often the ONE WHO ENDS UP RECEIVING. Stay humble! Elizabeth Barrett Browning says it well, “God’s gifts put mans best dreams to shame.â€? All my family had the power to do was buy a few simple gifts and show up, but the Jesus we remember at Christmas is the ONE who infuses faith, hope and love into any situation where He is invited. I want to challenge you to make a place for Jesus at your holiday table this year. He is not a myth and He is not dead. He is REAL and He is ALIVE! He is simply waiting for an invitation to show up and reveal Himself. I love the way one anonymous author says it‌ “Love has a name. JESUS. Love has a place. Our hearts. Love has a story. And it’s not finished yet.â€?
This article was inspired by Kim’s highly valued relationships and coaching experiences. As a Life Coach of global impact, Kim would love to share principles of influential leadership and cultural transformation with your group or organization. Contact Kim today for a FREE proposal on a powerful coaching partnership. You may contact her directly at: kimfletchercoach@aol.com / 828 327 6702 (Talk or Text).
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Sophisticated
Women...
Approach Life as a Gift Full of Opportunities By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
T
he Oxford Dictionary defines opportunity as a “right set of circumstances.” The life you’ve been given is your life to live. There’s no right or wrong, only the days that lie ahead for you. Your situation is just right. There are no mistakes. There are only opportunities, people with possibilities, packed full of potential, and practically perfect. The ideal approach to life is to choose the approach that “Life is a Gift Full of Opportunities.” I give you three perspectives that can help you see life as a gift full of opportunities. 1. 2. 3.
An Introspective: Seeing the Gift of What is Possible A Retrospective: Recognizing the Goals that make the Possible Probable A Prospective: Receiving the Gift of the Opportunities By Taking Action
Begin with introspective work or meeting your future-self. Finish these sentences: • • •
I have the opportunity to become… I see myself doing this in the future… I know I have the capacity to do this work…
This done. Your mind is racing. You’re hopeful and the next moment doubt. That’s completely normal and wonderful. This is THE GIFT. You are filled with opportunities! Now do your retrospective. Look back to the present from the future. You are making a memory of the future. Instead of just dreaming, you are now going to imagine the goals to make your future probable instead of just possible.
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pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
The process of creating a retrospective is much like taking a walk in the woods. In the introspective, you explored a path into the ‘forest of the future.’ You experienced amazing vistas and views. Now, you find yourself out in the middle of the woods perhaps a little panicked thinking ‘How will I make it back?’ You’ll need to return to your starting point. As you look back to the present from the future, you begin to see the specific opportunities available to turn your present-self into your futureself. Edwin Way Teale stated, “No path is ever truly trod until it is trod both ways.” He’s right. If you imagine an amazing introspective, you can also imagine the activities that must happen to make the introspective possible. When you ask yourself this, ‘What do I need to do to get where I want to go?’ a flood of creativity unfolds. There is a simple formula at work here. It’s algebra. If you are “x.” And your future is “y”. You’ll
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Unexpected Beauty:
Views from the Lens of Steve McCurry By Karin Borei, Hickory Museum of Art Project Coordinator
Afghan Girl is the universally recognized photojournalist Steve McCurry’s most familiar photograph. After it was the cover of the National Geographic’s June 1985 issue, it became the most recognized photograph in the history of that magazine. Afghanistan was McCurry’s first experience working in a war zone. That kind of involvement was what he had aspired to when he was working as a local newspaper photographer in Philadelphia. “Being a good photographer doesn’t necessarily mean you travel to distant places, but I needed to get out of my comfort zone and explore,” McCurry once shared. (Untold p.10) It did mean that most of his subjects were men; both because men are usually at the forefront of wars and because contact with women even just to take a picture was strictly regulated in most of the places he frequented. However; in 1984, McCurry was on assignment for National Geographic to photograph the increasing numbers of refugee camps along the Afghan-Pakistan border, resulting from the war then raging in Afghanistan. Walking around the Nasir Bagh camp near Peshawar in November, he heard pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
voices coming from one tent and realized that a school for girls was in session. He asked the teacher if he might take some pictures, and she agreed. McCurry recalled, “I spotted this young girl …. She had an intense, haunted look, a really penetrating gaze – and yet she was only about twelve years old. … There must have been Sharbat Gula, Afghan Girl, about fifteen girls there. at Nasir Bagh Refugee Camp They were all very young, near Peshwar, Pakistan © Steve and they were doing what McCurry. school children do all over the world – running around, making noise and stirring up a lot of dust. But in that brief moment when I photographed [her] I didn’t hear the noise or see the other kids. It was very powerful. … After a few moments she got up and walked away, but for an instant everything was right – the light, the background, the expression in her eyes.” (Untold p.75) McCurry did not see any of his Afghan photographs until months later when he returned to New York, so it was not until then that he realized how strong his image of this girl was. He discovered that, “There’s a quality to the picture, an ambiguity in her expression that is intensely striking. Not quite a smile, not quite a frown, a mixture of curiosity and wariness in her eyes that people respond to.” (Untold p.76) Seventeen years after taking the Afghan Girl photograph, McCurry returned with a film crew to some of the sites he had immortalized for his 1985 National Geographic article, in part with the idea of tracking her down. It took many months and many contacts before she was located and found to be a married woman living in one of the most dangerous areas of Afghanistan, from which she then traveled to Pakistan to meet with the film crew. McCurry discovered that her name was Sharbat Gula, which means “sweetwater flower girl” in Pashtu, her native
language. She had never seen the iconic photograph of herself; and even after it was explained to her, she did not seem to understand or care about its continuing world-wide appeal. McCurry recalled, “Our conversation then was brief, and unemotional. She remembered me, because our last meeting was the [first] time in her life she had ever been photographed, and I was [then] possibly the only foreigner she’d ever come in contact with. When she saw the photo for the first time, she was a little embarrassed by her red shawl. A cooking fire had burnt it, she said. … Her parents had been killed [when she was around six years old], and she had lived a very sequestered life; she didn’t really have any contact with people outside of her husband and children, in-laws and local friends. Her reactions at the time seemed to be a mixture of indifference and embarrassment, with a bit of curiosity and bewilderment.” (Untold p.77) Sixty-nine stunning images by Steve McCurry, including the Afghan Girl, are on display at Hickory Museum of Art through May 8, 2016. The exhibit is presented by Catawba Valley Camera Club and Hickory Museum of Art. Learn more at www.HickoryArt.org.
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Hit and Run Living by Mary Southerland
Today’s Truth
Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10, NIV).
Friend to Friend
As I watched the movie “Twister” for the first time, I was reminded of the small Texas town where I grew up. Tornadoes were a common occurrence in Brownwood. In fact, we sometimes had “tornado drills” in order to prepare for the next storm. When ominous dark clouds began to gather and the possibility of tornadoes increased, warning sirens screamed through that quiet little town, sending every man, woman and child scurrying for safety. Our safe place was an old, musty storm cellar in the back yard where my family huddled until the “all clear” siren sounded. Life is filled with twisters – overcrowded schedules, impossible demands, unrealistic expectations, emotional bankruptcy, and physical exhaustion. During those turbulent times, my first reaction is to run and hide until the storm passes over, but I have come to two realizations; first, there will always be another storm and second, what I must do is learn how to prepare for storms before they hit. I need to find my safe place – at the feet of Jesus in solitude. Solitude and rest go hand in hand. To be alone with God brings power that can be found in no other place. At His feet, listening and waiting, is where we begin to understand the daily reality of a purpose-filled life. It’s in His arms that we are bathed in unconditional love, transformed and equipped to live an abundant life. Failure to practice solitude often leads to a stress-filled existence lived on the run. We are His sheep, and sheep are never fully at ease around rushing water. The Shepherd leads His sheep beside still waters. The reason is very simple. Sheep instinctively know that the weight of their wool, when wet, will drown them. Sheep need still, quiet waters in order to live—and so do we. The psalmist offers a foundational truth when he writes, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). This verse implies that there is much about God we cannot know on the run. It also suggests that when we do carve out time with Him alone, and are still before Him, we will know Him more. I’m not certain that a hit-and-run type of life can really be called living. Undoubtedly, Jesus didn’t live this way while on earth. In fact, His times of solitude and rest are clearly recorded in Scripture. Solitude not only replenishes us, it provides the place we can and must go in order to know Him intimately. Stillness implies quietness and solitude, the place where our minds grow clear and our souls catch up. The more responsibility we carry and the busier we are, the more we need regular solitude. There is a Greek motto that says it well: “You will break the bow if you keep it always bent.” How many people break under the load of stress because there is no solitude in their schedules? We need to unbend by secluding ourselves with God. If we don’t schedule solitude, it will rarely happen. We plan and schedule the things in life we deem important, often missing the highest and best things God has for us. Stress thrives on chaos and frenzy. Solitude is a place where we are empowered and
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
equipped for life, the place where stress is disarmed and peace reigns. You may have to be creative when it comes to finding time for solitude. Instead of flipping the radio on in the car or automatically turning on the television, capture those moments for solitude. Search for those times to be still before God and watch how they will empower your busiest days and diffuse stress. Find creative locations for solitude - in your home, your workplace, or outside. I love the story of Susannah Wesley, the mother of John and Charles, and mother to 18 children. When her children saw her with her big hoopskirt pulled up over her head, she was not to be disturbed because she was praying. She was capturing a few minutes of solitude! How often are you alone with your own thoughts or God’s voice? The busier, more hectic your life is, the more you need to capture those moments of silence and solitude.
Let’s Pray
Father, I recognize my need for time alone with You. I lay down my schedule, my agenda and anything else in my life that would keep me from time spent with You. Please forgive me for the way I often squander away my time. Give me the power to invest time wisely. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Choose to practice solitude - today. Select a place to spend time in solitude – today. Lay down your agenda. Focus on Him and listen for His voice. Memorize Psalm 37:7 “Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.” Ask yourself these questions and use the answers to shape a plan for regular solitude: • Why am I afraid of silence? • What is the greatest obstacle to solitude in my life? • What steps do I have to take in order to remove those obstacles? • What do I hope to gain from time spent in solitude?
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We have over-complicated prayer. In its purest form, it is talking with and listening to God. Most of us have the talking part down. The listening part – not so much! Chair Time is an E-book that will teach you how to practice solitude and learn how to hear the voice of God. Be sure to check out the FREE MP3s on Mary’s website and connect with Mary through email or on Facebook.
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All Great Change
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begins at the
dinner table Since 1955, Bowman’s Sunrise Appliance has offered the Catawba County area a great place to shop for appliances. And now it’s getting even better! Charlynn Bowman, owner and operator of Bowman’s Sunrise Appliance would like to welcome you to their new, and much larger showroom on Highway 70 across from the Valley Hills Mall. When you walk in their showroom, you are almost always welcomed with the smell of fresh popcorn and/or fresh baked cookies. Charylnn invites you to come in “to an expeciece” at Bowman’s Sunrise Appliance and see what they have to offer. Charlynn believes that in order for you to get a real “at home” experience before you buy, you should come in and see their FIVE working kitchens. This will enable you to get a true perspective on how you would want your own kitchen to look, feel, and perform. Are you thinking about renovating your kitchen? Charlynn and her staff can help you design the kitchen of your dreams also. They have years of experience and can help you remodel your existing kitchen. In fact, not only can Charlynn and her team help you design your kitchen, they also offer cooking classes throughout the year. So you not only learn to cook some new and exciting dishes for the family, but also how to use some of the newest gadgets on the market to make cooking easier. Charlynn along with her husband Paul believe that if you are going to live in a comunity, you need to be involved. “I’ve lived in this area my entire life”, Charlynn says, “From the beginning, being involved with a family owned business gave me deep roots to help meet our customer’s needs and to care for the community.” So the next time you are in the market for appliances or you have some spare time on your hands, stop by and check out Bowmans’s Sunrise Appliance. It’s an experience you will not find in a big box store. You will instantly know this before you even walk in, because on the front of their store are the words, “All Great Change in America Begins at the Dinner Table”. Food for thought, don’t you think? Photo by Terra Bailey Photography
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
You will experience a Boutique style atmosphere when you walk in our showroom! • Five Working Kitchens • Small Appliance Stations
• Cookware Stations • Kitchen Utensil Stations
We will start off our popular cooking classes again in the Spring of 2016 and will continue quarterly. www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21
Our knowledgeable in-store experts will help you every step of the way, and our professional delivery and installation experts will assure that your new products arrive safely, are installed properly and that any questions or needs you have are handled promptly. And of course if service is required in the future, you can rest assured of the same dedication to prompt professional assistance with our service department as well. Visit or call us if you have any questions or would like more information. We look forward to meeting and helping you with your appliance purchases.
pg 22 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | December 2015
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Christmas
message for Brides
&
old new by Mackey S. Carpenter
This time of year, there are always a lot of weddings. It’s the Season for love and miracles and new beginnings. It’s such a happy time for my brides and the smiles on their faces prove it. I love this time of year because it gives us hope about the things to come. Otherwise all I hear is the gloom and doom from the media. And when other clients come into the shop, there is always some conversation about either the economy or the increase in crime. The reality shows have taken over and it’s hard for some people to realize it’s a form of entertainment, not real life. Now, I’m not knocking the media, but there are good things going on out there. So many good things are happening, but we rarely hear about those. We’ve heard about the bad things so much that our minds can’t handle anything else. Someone told me recently that you rarely get a second chance in life, but I feel each of us get a second chance every day. There are twenty-four hours in each precious day and there is not one minute that we can’t make a positive change in our life, even a tiny one. If our children see us working and contributing to society, they will too. On the other hand, if we don’t, they won’t. It’s time for a change and it has to start at home. I grew up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of money. Although it was only when I was much older that I came to that realization. My dad said, “If you can’t afford it or you can’t make it, chances are you can do without it.” That quote certainly wouldn’t fly these days. There was always a garden and even though my mom wasn’t the best cook in the world, there was always good food on the table. Stores were closed on Sundays so we were usually together either with family or friends or both. That was a day when we connected with family and especially with God. I get asked quite often how I have managed to stay married for forty five years. Well, it’s not all about me, although I was married for a few years before I realized that. I had always thought that the marriages of other couples were better because they had more money or a bigger house. But after seeing so many marriages fall
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
apart, I knew it was something else. As in most relationships, there have been times when neither of us knew what the next day would bring, and could only pray that it would be better than the day before. But what has made our marriage last? Our love for each other along with God’s help has kept us strong all these years. I work with brides on a daily basis and I couldn’t be happier. Occasionally they will see my husband fixing something or bring me lunch. They ask, “ How do you get him to do that for you?” “He just does it!” I will mention something that needs to be done and he will do it. Now, I would be lying if I said he jumps on it right away, but it does get done. Eventually. So here is my message for brides, old and new. Just remember, advice is worth what you pay for it and take it with a grain of salt.
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Front The
T
Porch
his is the time of year that we get to look at everyone else's front porch. We hop in the car and set off to see the Christmas displays around our neighborhood or at someones subdivision we were told had some fabulous displays. I don't know about you, but I love the displays that dance to the music! They just make my heart dance. I have seen some incredible ones....some close, some that I had to drive a great distance to see. Most will not drive as far as I will for a great display. There is a TV show called "The Great Christmas Light Fight" and they go all across the country to look at the extravagances some go to. Talk about a kid in a candy shop....that would be me if I could go with them. If you love Christmas lights you really need to watch that show. It is not as good as being there but it can really amaze you. Going to see lights is a tradition I picked up from my parents. Actually, it is quite mind boggling that my family did this at all considering the lack of doing most things that families did. Maybe you have not ever done this with your family. If you haven't why don't you start this year. Make a game out of it and let everyone decide who has the best display on the street. Talk about what makes one display so special and talk about the themes. Here is one other thing to consider. Maybe when you ride by an extravagant display or house, your mind starts to think about the family that lives there. Often times, we might even compare our house to theirs or our family to the family we have created in our mind. May I share with you a very important truth. Whover lives within the walls of that house have issues just like you and I do. That display could represent a loving, thoughtful family that has everyday struggles. Maybe it is a "show" to make others think all is great.
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
by Judy Smith
Let's think about one other thing. On the show I mentioned, they might have a complete Santa's workshop, or another one will have a Chilly Pepper theme....not my style at all. Here is what the real Christmas display had. There was a woman who had to travel a great distance because the government wanted a census... while she was pregnant. If you try to find the distance she traveled, it is said to be anywhere from 70 miles to 90 miles. We also assume, she rode a donkey because that is the way it is usually depicted. People seem to argue over anything but I am telling you no matter whether it was 70 miles or 700, and whether or not she walked, rode on a donkey, a camel or a tortoise, she was miserable. When my son was born I was in labor for 30 plus hours before the doctor finally decided I needed a C-Section. I was tortured, hot and in pain....and in those days you did not get an epidural when you were only 2 centimeters. Yet, I had a place to lay my head and a beautiful crib for my new baby. The only "poop" around was from him. Not so with this pregnant woman. Motel Six didn't even leave the light on. That's okay though. It was the most amazing birth in the world. How would you have liked to have had a whole heavenly host of angels singing to your baby? Talk about a Christmas display. Don't be misled....it was not just for our entertainment. The Bible tells us that they were praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” Have you received that peace that is offered? Jesus is the reason for the Season.
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Celebrating Through Reflecting Part of embracing the year ahead is in reflecting on the past year with enlightenment and appreciation for all that you have learned, experienced and gained. In this column, I hope to challenge conventional thinking and inspire paradigm shifts or small unexpected nuances that bring deeper meaning and relevance to who you are as a person. Consider what has transpired over these past 11 months through this column and how you may have already transformed as a result: Facing FEAR: So often what we fear is simply what we are unfamiliar with or uncertain about. You have most likely conquered some of your fears this year and grown in confidence as a result. Celebrate this triumph and your ability to move forward. Celebrate your ability to face your fears and win. Embracing LOVE: There is so much around us to love and appreciate. We need only to pause and embrace the love we can give and that is given to us unconditionally. Love enables us to live life to its fullest. Loving ourselves, imperfections and all, enables us grow and prosper emotionally, physically and spiritually. Celebrate the love you have given and received. Possessing COURAGE: It takes courage to try something entirely new or to pick ourselves up and try again when something didn’t go as planned or we didn’t succeed as we had hoped. With each step you take through calmness, optimism, understanding, resilience, attitude, gratitude, and enlightenment, you are wearing your badge of courage with confidence. Celebrate your courage and what it has allowed you to accomplish. Insightful QUITTING: Sure, there may have been times you just wanted to give up. But you didn’t. You persevered and made it through whatever it was that was putting you to the test. But then there were also things you quit doing that have served you well. You quit being so hard on yourself. You quit worrying, procrastinating, doubting yourself, judging, and negating. Celebrate what you received in return by quitting what was not serving you well, giving you the empowerment to do what you really wanted to be doing. Creating DESTINY: Your ability to manifest your future is truly within your grasp. Through your choices, looking forward, and truly believing in what you set out to do, your destiny awakens in you and for you. Celebrate your ability to bring your true destiny into being, and what you have already done to get there.
pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
No More EXCUSES: Recognizing the difference between an excuse and a good reason can set you free and open up the true possibilities in your life. Instead of being caught in the exhaustive mindset of avoiding the inevitable, delaying gratification, saving face, and feeling insecure, you can celebrate the myriad of reasons for living and loving your life. Staying OPEN: Embracing each day with an open heart, mind, ears, and eyes enable you to care, think, listen and see things in different ways. Celebrate your openness and what it has opened up to you over this past year. Being CHALLENGED: Did you ever notice that what we appreciate the most is what was the most challenging to achieve or obtain? Celebrate the challenges you have overcome this past year. Feeding Your SOUL: Hopefully, this was the year you realized that taking care of and honoring yourself is the true secret to being able to give so much of yourself to others. By taking time to nourish your spirit, nibble on opportunities, savor moments, and drink in the possibilities, you were able to replenish your soul and celebrate the uniqueness of you. Coveting PATIENCE: As a self-professed impatient person, this has been the biggest aha for me this past year, and perhaps for you as well. Through my own exploration of the power of patience, I have realized that patience is a gift we give to ourselves. Celebrate how you have begun to covet patience as a means of slowing down and appreciating, anticipating, reflecting, improving, accepting and being conscious in the moment. Reflection over this past year should not be a critical inspection that causes infliction around what you didn’t accomplish. Instead, take time to simply appreciate what you have learned, considered, gained, and retained that will serve you in amazing ways in the year ahead. By leveraging what you now know, can now do, and have done successfully, the sky is really the limit if you only believe.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
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11/12/15 11:50:49 AM www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
Who’s My Best Present? A
by Mary Felkins
trip through the aisles of a craft store several months ago had me convinced someone had plucked December from the calendar and planted it in September. Decorative garlands and trinkets of green, red, and gold flashed off the shelves, hundreds of ornaments dangled against display boards, and nutcrackers stood sentry in center islands. And, thus, the mental madness began with somewhat of a robotic cadence, “Christmas has descended. Must find presents for my people.” Each year I’ve faced the same challenge, to slow down and to treasure that which matters most. To consider eternity when I shop, to ponder whether or not the presents I purchase will be valued or, sadly, find an undesirable end at a yard sale, tossed into a cardboard box labeled, ‘Make best offer’. Still, with gift idea list in hand, I’ve allowed my brain to become revved up like a turbo charged NASCAR engine and purchased stuff to give others - while also generating ideas for what Mary wants. Because, truth be told, Mary likes stuff, too. I’ve enthusiastically made my list and checked it - no, not twice, but multiple times. Then I’ve scratched out bad ideas and prayed for new ones, all the while hoping to find the so-called perfect present on sale, thank you very much. Otherwise, my enthusiasm about the annual giftgiving routine would surely languish like a wilting plant. Then the Lord calls to mind those words written to me by an older sister, just inside the front cover of my fav devo, a burgundy, hardbound copy of Oswald Chambers’s, My Utmost For His Highest: “You were the best present Mom and Dad ever gave me.” Me? A present? Wait, better. A best present.
And ever so grateful! But, to know that, through the eyes of another someone, I was considered a best present? Just imagine what good that did to my heart. While it’s true that I’ve been blessed with supportive siblings, raised in a faith-filled home by loving parents, and am married to a good man who’s committed to me and our four amazing children, I realize that isn’t a claim everyone can make. For some, considering people as presents might disquiet their soul. But the following profound statement has kept my heart anchored to eternal matters: Two things last forever, God’s Word and God’s people. One you have and one you are. Invest in both. Simple concept. The Word of God, His people. They’re precious gifts. People as presents? Yes, a sacred truth first demonstrated in the Garden of Eden where God gave Eve as a gift to Adam. Just picture it… no shoulder shoving crowds, no snarled traffic, no gift exchange lines with irritable cashiers (bless them!), or the repetitive lyrics to Jingle Bells sounding from department store speakers. God’s present was a perfect - and peaceful - offering. Like a starlit, silent night. Like the little town of Bethlehem where Old Testament prophecy was fulfilled. A sign unto God’s people in the form of a newborn baby boy, their long-awaited Messiah Who would ransom captive Israel. A King cradled by an animal’s feeding trough. Emmanuel, God with us. The Saviour had come down. A Person as a present, the very best Present, all wrapped in swaddling clothes. I took, yet, another glance at my Christmas gift list. And it got me thinking… ~ Who’s my best present? ~ Is there someone whose heart needs to know - before year’s end - I consider them my best present? ~ Who might value an affirming word from me more than a new tie, cologne gift set, or Matchbox car? One thing I know, my verbal investment won’t be discarded into a cardboard box and sold for nearly nothing at next spring’s yard sale.
About the Author
Big sis and I had shared a weekend together at a woman’s retreat. The speaker referenced Chamber’s classic collection of spiritual wisdom. She’d said she read from it daily and challenged listeners to do the same. I was thrilled when big sis presented me with a copy of my own. But not one pithy or prudent statement in the entire collection compared to the realization that my very existence mattered, that I was valued, that I brought joy into the life of another.
Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Throughout the course of her private nutrition consulting business she wrote much of her own teaching materials.
I already knew that the wages of sin is death and that the free gift of God is eternal life (Romans 6:23). Check. And yay!
Mary cordialy invites you to take a plunge into the deep oceans of thought or to stop and laugh out loud at her website, www. maryfelkins.com
And I knew that God had loved me to death, death on a cross. Check.
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
Mary is currently constructing her first Christian contemporary romance using principles taught by My Book Therapy (www. mybooktherapy.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written. She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver.
Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net
Shutterbuggerz Submitted by : Charismatic Captures
Submitted by MBH Photography
Submitted by Precious Memories Photography
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31
Recipes for ife
L
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body
Irish Soda Bread
(Adapted from a recipe by Ellen Garritty) 3 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. salt 2 Tbsp. sugar 1½ cup buttermilk 1 Tbsp. melted butter Mix all ingredients together except the butter. Scoop batter into a glass loaf baking dish, which has been greased well, and pour melted butter over the top. Bake on 350 degrees for 33-35 minutes. Cool on countertop approximately 10 minutes and remove from dish. Slice carefully, serving warm for best results.
A Prayer for God’s Blessing
Loving Father in heaven, You are the one true God—faithful, gracious, and merciful. I confess sometimes I snack on the fleeting pleasures of this world rather than filling up on Christ. Thank You for sending Your Son as a tiny babe, fully God and fully Man, so He could save us from our sins. Please flood my thoughts with this simple yet extraordinary truth throughout this Christmas season and beyond. In Jesus’ marvelous name, Amen.
Food for the Soul I’m a bread lover, and sometimes I prefer a piece of warm, homemade bread over dessert. Can you relate? Of course, consuming too much bread can harm our health, but what’s a woman to do? I say, let’s eat bread and enjoy every bite. While we shouldn’t indulge excessively, bread truly is an international, staple food. Jesus described Himself as the “Bread of Life.” People of every origin can relate to this metaphor since bread is common to all. I love that. God’s deep love for each one of us caused Him to reveal Himself in a way every person can understand.
pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me shall not hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.” John 6:35, Nasb No matter who we are or where we live, all of us can comprehend hunger in some capacity. While the American concept pales in comparison to the reality experienced in a third world country, everyone feels hunger pangs at one time or another. God designed our bodies to receive physical sustenance, which requires food. When we don’t eat, our stomachs growl. Similarly, God fashioned us with a spiritual component that needs filling. Christ, the Bread of Life, can satisfy our hunger, yet we sometimes rely on other sources to nourish us. Unfortunately, no one and nothing provides what we’re created to thrive on because only JESUS perfectly fills us. When we’re full of Jesus, we aren’t hungry anymore. But what about Christian brothers and sisters who struggle with addictions? Maybe someone you care about professes Christ as Savior but remains mired in hopeless living. Perhaps someone you love deeply hasn’t figured out that Jesus Christ is enough, and he/she keeps looking elsewhere for satisfaction. Certainly these are puzzling questions yet absolute reality for many. So what’s a Christian woman to do? Friend, for those loved ones we long to see restored, one of the best things we can do is savor Christ: stay in His Word, practice prayer, and imitate Him. As those trapped in addiction observe the Lord’s faithfulness to us and see our satisfaction in Him, God can use our example to encourage them. He can feed their spirits—while they wander or struggle—by speaking through our relationship with Christ. The Lord’s sufficiency for us just might inspire them to find full satisfaction in Him. Jesus said, “I am the living bread that came down out of heaven; if anyone eats of this bread, he shall live forever; and the bread also which I shall give for the life of the world is My flesh.” John 6:51 Jesus came that we might gain life, and we celebrate this truth at Christmas. Christ saw us in our starving, sinful state and offered Himself as a sacrifice in our place. What an unspeakable gift of love. What a beautiful Savior! Jesus Christ gave His life for us, and we live forever when we trust Him as our Savior. May Christ, the Bread of Life, fill you this Christmas season and always. Love to you in Him, and until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life… Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. ! Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.
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The Christmas Gift by Debbie Roberson
he went to Heaven on January 7th, 2004 and the thought of opening the Christmas gifts which she had lovingly picked out for us had been too painful for me.
at me over her left shoulder. Her face was luminescent, radiating joylight. Her skin had the fresh glow of morning dew. Her cheeks blushed with a kiss of pink, the way they used to look when she was little and came in after playing in the snow. Her demure white smile was framed by soft pink lipstick and perfectly matched her pearl necklace and dainty tear-drop pearl earrings. Dark brown eyes laughed playfully. I had witnessed so many emotions in those dancing brown eyes over the past 23 years, and I was so thankful that this portrait had perfectly captured what I knew that she was experiencing in Heaven – pure joy.
The dreary winter night seemed to magnify the cold and cruel pain that sat down hard in my heart. I sat alone in our living room, wearing a pair of her old pajamas. Suddenly a thought intruded upon my sadness. “Susan would want you to open your Christmas gift.” Christmas was our daughter’s favorite holiday and I had the sudden realization that she was probably quite aggravated that we hadn’t opened our presents yet.
Suddenly, rainbow prisms began to dance across Susan’s portrait. The heavenly ballet of colored lights was a result of the morning sun shining through the beveled glass in my front door. The beauty of it took my breath away. What a sweet gift from God. I basked in the healing warmth of the sun and I marveled at the magnificent display of rainbow lights.
I tiptoed quietly upstairs to Susan’s old bedroom and sat in the floor in the middle of a stack of beautifully wrapped Christmas boxes. With trembling hands, I picked up my gift. Minutes passed as I sat and stared at the gift card and tears rolled down my cheeks leaving a trail of sadness all their own. Seeing her handwriting made me painfully aware of her absence. I removed the gift card, being ever so careful not to tear it. The beautiful wrapping paper beckoned me to continue and I opened the package to find an Estee Lauder fragrance set. “Thank you Susan,” I said through my tears.
I walked back into my bedroom and soft warm sunlight filtered reverently through the half opened blinds. The shimmering rays fell across the bed and danced gracefully on my Christmas gift. I remember thinking how pretty the colors were on the box. Muted pastel blues and baby pinks floated against a soft white background. The colors seemed to glide dreamily like clouds on a summer day. I slowly lifted the lid off of the box and nestled inside was a bottle of perfume and a matching set of body lotion. I sprayed the perfume lightly into the air and I was transported to a warm sunny place. The soft sweet scent of tropical flowers ever so delicately pirouetted around me. I pondered, “I wonder if Heaven smells like this?”
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights . . .
S
James 1:17
I quietly got up off the floor. I held the box close to my heart and walked slowly downstairs to my bedroom. I gently sat the box on my dresser. Being careful not to wake my husband, I quietly slipped into bed and prayed for sleep to come. The next morning, I lovingly relocated my Christmas gift from the dresser to my bed. The box looked so pretty sitting on top of the blue and cream double wedding ring quilt. I decided to just let it sit there for a while, like a jewel on display. I moved into the living room and settled down into the familiar comfort of my Quiet Time chair. The bright sunny January morning seemed to radiate a crisp clean optimism. The sky was a soft robin’s egg blue. Quietly the Lord spoke to my spirit, “Be still and know that I am God”. He knew and understood the pain in my heart. He gently pushed back the cobwebs that were in my mind, much like a mother pushes a stray curl from her child’s forehead. I shut my eyes and rested in His presence. When I opened my eyes, my gaze fell upon the 16 x 20 bridal portrait of Susan which hangs proudly in our foyer. She sat regally on a crimson brocade settee. The beadwork on the bodice of her wedding gown glistened like jewels in the morning sun. A delicate trail of fabriccovered white buttons marched down her back. The bridal bouquet of white rosebuds and babies’ breath rested on the settee beside her. She sat straight and tall, with her back to me. In a quarter turn, with her left hand reaching back to rest on the edge of the settee, she looked happily back
pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
I put the lid back on the box and was about to walk out of the bedroom, but in my mind I could almost hear Susan giggle and say, “Mom, REALLY look at your gift.” As my eyes traveled back to the bed, a ray of sunshine was illuminating the name of the perfume - Beyond Paradise. I smiled for the first time in many days when I realized the significance of this very precious gift from my daughter. It was also an extraordinary gift from God – a sweet reminder of Susan’s home in Heaven. As we celebrate this special time of year --- remember to thank God for His Most Wonderful Gift – Jesus. Merry Christmas to all. About the Author Debbie Roberson is a wife and the mother of a grown married son. She is also the mother of a beautiful daughter who now lives in Heaven. She is a lover of Jesus with a desire to encourage and inspire others through the words that He puts in her heart.
Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Angie Houston
Submitted by Hank Lail
Submitted by Cricket Johnson at Lightshine Images
Submitted by Charlene Long Photography
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35
from
L
2
trash TREASURE
ast weekend, I had dinner with designers and staff from a firm where I worked for eight years. We shared many happy and fun memories of things that happened there. One of the topics mentioned was the Western Piedmont Symphony Festival of Trees. Each year, our firm would work together on a tree for the event. Being whacky designers, we came up with themes that were not the norm. One year we hauled in sand to go under our Desert Storm tree that paid tribute to soldiers serving in the war in Iraq. Our first and very favorite tree decorating memory together was called “From Trash to Treasure”. This was years before recycling was in vogue, but was an inexpensive and fun way to use things that we had around the house. Each designer brought buttons, jewelry, toys, fabrics, and everything that you can imagine to create ornaments. Our color scheme was jewel tones-dark green, navy, burgundy, and gold-popular colors in the 80’s.
by Susan Guest, ASID
ornaments you use annually, this might be an inexpensive way to try something different. Also, if you have children (or adults) that might enjoy the activity of creating ornaments that are unique; this might be an option for you. It is a lot of fun and can be very bonding. These are some ideas for your “Trash to Treasure” tree decorating: •
Gather supplies-glitter, glue, hot glue guns, raffia, gimp, cording, fabric, lace, scraps from old clothes, stapler and staples, paper clips, ribbon, and any kind of items that you think you might use. Try to buy as few items as possible-use things that are scraps or need to be reused. Go through your junk drawers!
•
Decide on a theme and/or color scheme. If you always have a red and green tree, try something different this year. For instance, if you have blue and white fabric; consider creating a coastal theme with shells dipped in silver or white glitter. Make ornaments that remind you of the sea. You might convert old dolls into mermaids or cut fish out of different materials. Your imagination is the limit!
•
Have a night (or more) with your friends, children, or family. Guests can bring small items that they don’t use and you supply the glitter. Serve cookies and cider or adult beverages (if appropriate) and play your favorite Christmas music. “Trash to Treasure Night” also works if you show favorite TV Christmas shows from years past.
We spent many a night and a couple of weekends in our boss’s basement hot gluing sequins, bedazzling everything in sight, covering things with glitter and fabric. Shiny gold gimps and fringes were attached to everyday household (and one unused sanitary) items. Not only did this project let us use our God-given talents; we also enjoyed the time together and grew closer as fellow workers. Our spouses and family members did not understand why we were so pumped when we came home exhausted and covered with glitter and burns from the hot glue gun. On the opening night of the festival, our group dressed up in holiday attire. We were so excited to tell attendees about our project and point to different items on the tree. The tree looked very elegant from a distance. It was fun to watch people walk closer and be totally surprised by the items we had transformed into ornaments. We used watches, old jewelry, toilet paper holders, spirals off notebooks, tassels, playing cards, miniature toys, and many other things that you might find in a junk drawer at home. Everything was fun and games until my husband walked to the tree and spotted his comb that I had covered in forest green glitter. He recognized his comb out of all the lovely items on the tree! I was in big trouble for a week and bought him a three pack of combs the very next day. You might consider doing your own “Trash to Treasure” tree this year. There are many advantages to doing so. If you are tired of your
pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
Create your own decorations, save money, fellowship with family and friends, bond with co-workers, and have fun. Why wouldn’t you want an evening to relax, use your creative talents to make something beautiful. Years from now, you might be talking about your experience as our group did last weekend. Have a wonderful and blessed Christmas with many cherished memories!
Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Charlene Long Photography
Submitted by Jamie Lynn Photography Submitted by Unknown
Submitted by MBH Photography
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37
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Strengthening Family Connections:
A Visit Home D
by Anna Hall
uring the holidays, our thoughts turn to family history, traditions and gatherings. As we prepare to celebrate the holidays with our loved ones, many will be traveling home to their place of upbringing while others host loved ones in our own homes. Surrounded by family and friends, the upcoming celebrations are the perfect time to revisit your past, learn about your heritage and strengthen your family connections. Having grown up in the center of a major city in the Eastern European country of Poland, my childhood is filled with warm memories of many social gatherings and festivities. From holidays spent with family to impromptu get-togethers with friends, I grew up surrounded by loving people, good food, entertaining music and plenty of laughter. The parties all blend together, except one that sticks out in my mind. It was Anna 1981 around the time I was 10 years old when our closest family and friends gathered around one evening for what turned out to be our farewell party. It was the fall of 1987 and we were immigrating to America. Fast forward 28 years to this past summer when I found myself once again in Poland surrounded by my closest family at a gathering to celebrate my great aunt’s 85th birthday. At my side was my only child, Emily, age 10. Here we were visiting my home town, meeting relatives I haven’t seen in years, hearing stories I’ve never heard before, reliving
memories, and touring places I used to frequent as a child. We spent two weeks experiencing my culture, my heritage, and my upbringing first hand, seeing it through my daughter’s eyes being the same age I was when I left and through my eyes after so many years. I was touched seeing Emily embracing the Polish culture, customs, traditions, cuisine and way of life and incorporate parts of it into her own daily life upon our return to the US. It was a fantastic learning opportunity and bonding experience for us both.
Emily 2015
There’s something inherent to human nature that drives us to want to share our story. Equally so, “where do I come from” is a fundamental curiosity within each of us. So there’s a great benefit to visiting the place of your upbringing with your children, be it a short drive away or a trip across the ocean. It allows you not only to tell your story, but to show your offspring where they come from. In that process, you get to learn not just about yourself but most importantly about each other, to make deep connections, to impart life values to your children, to pass down memories and family stories from one generation to the next and ultimately create a sense of identity and belonging. And that’s what the holidays are all about. Anna Hall is a wife, a mom, a traveler, a photographer, a writer and the editor and publisher of Macaroni Kid Hickory/Western Piedmont, a free e-publication informing families about local kid-friendly events, activities and ideas. Find your family fun at www.hickory.macaronikid.com and follow Anna on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest at @mackidhickory.
Catawba County West
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 39
.indd 1
Day In and Day Out... Her Story in HIStory by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC
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Walking in the door after a long day, Sara slowly made her way to the family room. She had so many things to accomplish, but all she could do right now was plop on the couch. Exhausted from morning battles, Sara leaned over, tucked a pillow beneath her cheek and curled into a ball. Images of her life begin to roll through her mind like a silent film reel.
11/11/2015 10:39:31 AM“Today
was hard,” she thought. Daily disputes with kids, never ending chores and the disenchantment in her marriage seemed to be poking bigger holes in the reservoirs of hope that often buoyed her back up. Thinking ahead to the future didn’t help either. The horizon seemed to reveal more of the same. For the first time, the weight of her tightly held yet unmet desires became palpable. Overcome with grief, tears streamed down her cheeks as she whimpered aloud, “This isn’t what I hoped for.” Sarah hadn’t even realized she’d fallen into a deep slumber until she was suddenly awakened by the obnoxious ringtone her kids had secretly programmed into her phone. Relieved to have been temporarily rescued from the colorless tunnel she’d entered, she instantly altered her disposition and cheerily greeted the caller. After listening intently, Sara fretfully responded, “Yes, of course. I’m on my way.”
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pg 40 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
We don’t really need to know what happens next because in many ways Sara’s story mirrors our own. Like hers, many of the dramatic twists and turns, the delights and disappointments still remain untold. And, even though her tale and ours may contain very different details, beneath it all, the ultimate desires of our hearts are really quite similar. We all want the majestic pieces of life on earth to endure forever and hope we can avoid or stave off the unexpected yet inevitable betrayals of this world. All the while, our hearts know too well that even the pinnacle moments will not last nor will they ever fully gratify the longings that live there. Master novelist and theologian C.S. Lewis captures this truth better than anyone in his book The Weight of Glory when he wrote,
The books or the music [or marriage or family] in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited. The peaks in our earthly stories are only scents and echoes of something we have not yet encountered. And, the valleys? These are meant to awaken our desire for the denouement, that perfect ending we are desperately hoping for. This is written on our hearts so that we can recognize how our personal story exists within a greater and far grander narrative - a magnificent and matchless tale that promises us enduring peace and beauty without betrayal. This story began with Chapter One – CREATION – when God designed a perfect place for His glory and for human flourishing. This peaceful era was followed by Chapter Two – FALL –when man rebelled and rejected God’s rule and authority. These actions not only tainted a perfect story, they brought death, destruction and separation from God to mankind. Thankfully, the loving and merciful Author of the story continued to write on. In Chapter Three – REDEMPTION - He revealed His Master plan by sending His Son Jesus to earth to rescue and redeem His children. As we now celebrate the birth of Jesus into a world that was desperately lost without Him, we can rejoice that the redemption offered to those who believe was only the beginning of the end. We are given a sneak peek of the Final Chapter - RESTORATION – when Christ will again return to earth. At that time, the world will be completely purged of evil and peace will prevail as He reigns and resides with His children. In that country we have not yet seen God, “will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain [because] all these things are gone forever.” (Rev. 21:4, NLT) Sarah’s story, my story and your story are pages in the middle of THE greatest story. It is the one that our heart dreams about yet promises to be far better than anything we could imagine. Though we cannot see it now, we can rejoice knowing that all of His children will, indeed, gasp with delight over the very splendid ending to tHIS story.
Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor. For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 41
Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Cheri Hoke Photography
Submitted by Precious Memories Photography Submitted by Charismatic Captures
Submitted by MBH Photography
Submitted by Kris Ferguson
pg 42 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | December 2015
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Gift
A
for
Daddy by Cyndi Caldwell
Two thousand-fourteen had been a difficult year. My 93 year old Father had experienced a year of failing health. It felt like a slippery slope and no matter how we tried we couldn’t find sure footing. As the holidays approached we knew that this would be the last Christmas we had Daddy with us. He was living in the nursing home now and wheelchair bound. He couldn’t manage his own body weight so standing was almost impossible. The silver lining was that his mind was clear and he was alert. My father had always been the life of the party. With Santa hat on his head and harmonica in his hand he conducted the entire family party from Giving Thanks for our many blessings to holding the annual gift swap of white (photo circa 2004) elephants! He was master of ceremonies. He usually gave a short speech prior to the blessing on the importance of family and love, reminding us that all the gifts in the world couldn’t replace the people and love that were existing around that holiday table. This year my Father was so frail we struggled. How would he be able to attend the holiday party? I must admit I was the one who was fearful that we wouldn’t be able to manage getting him from the nursing home to my sister’s house. How would we get him into the car? How would we get him in his wheelchair into the house? How would our children (his grandchildren) respond to seeing their grandfather in such a frail state? Thankfully my sister was adamant, Daddy would be at the holiday party! I can still hear her voice, “if we can’t manage getting him into the house with four strong grandson’s then what good are we?” The decision was made.
pg 44 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
It wasn’t easy but we bundled him up, got him into the car, and two of his four grandsons lifted the chair into the house like it was a feather. My father’s eyes literally glowed that night and I don’t think the smile left his face the entire time. Sitting there surrounded by the family that he and my mother had created with their love was the greatest gift we could have given him. Even though the grandchildren are all in their 20’s and 30’s now, you would have thought that my Father was Santa himself as they gathered around him hugging, laughing and sharing stories of holidays past. At the end of the night it was bittersweet as we got him safely into the car and two of his grandson’s took him back to the nursing home. . My sister was so right!! We would have this moment . He would have this moment. Our family would make it a reality. The memory of my Father’s last Christmas is seared into my memory forever. It was joyful, it was spiritual, it was and IS the true meaning of Christmas. Merry Christmas, Cyndi (photo circa 2007)
Cyndi C. Caldwell Certified Senior Advisor* Senior Sounding Board Consulting EMAIL: cloucaldwell@gmail.com BLOG: www.seniorsoundingboard.com
Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Cheri Hoke Photography
Submitted by Elizabeth Queen
Submitted by Heidi Houser Photography
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 45
Serendipity by Jan McCanless
As a child, I thought there could be nothing better in this world than Christmas. All the cousins, aunts and uncles, and my family would converge on my grandmothers place Christmas eve and have a big dinner, followed by the rauckus opening of gifts. One for every man, woman and child there, from every man, woman and child. It was loud, it was hectic, it was full of love and fellowship, and it was wonderful!! Sometime that evening we would all leave to go to our respective homes, we’d head to church for midnight service, and then home , for our own special celebration. Christmas for my family actually started that week sometime when our dad would bring in the biggest tree he could find, he and mom would decorate it and it absolutely ‘glowed’ all through the holidays, coming down usually, the day after New Years. All my adult life I have missed these Christmases, and the closeness to family that we enjoyed. After I married, I carried on our own tradition at Christmas time, and we enjoyed it very much, Gradually, one by one, the kids left home. one son was cruising the med with Uncle Sams Navy at Christmas, another was home from seminary, and carrying on a romance at the time, meaning, of course, he was over there as much as he was with us. Daughter was married, and bless her heart, she and hubby continued to come over Christmas eve for dinner, gift unwrapping, and then they’d go home, only to do it the next day with her in-laws. That meant that instead of an entire row at church, spouse and I would occupy only 2 places. Still, it was family, and it was fun. Years later, when it was simply hubby and I, we downsized tremendously, and would travel around family to family and watch as the grandchildren enjoyed the loud, hectic, fun filled day. We’d eat with one of them, then, carry ourselves on home for a quiet late afternoon in front of the football game. No more wrapping paper all over the pg 46 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | December 2015
house, toys scattered in every direction, no more 10 foot trees between the living room and dining rooms. It was not raucus, it was not hectic, and some of the fun had gone out of the day for me. But then, one Christmas, it happened. Serendipity. The old timers used to call it that when what happened was so special, so wonderful and meaningful, and you knew it would never happen again in quite that same way. Spouse and I were on our way home from our daughters house, it was almost, but, not quite dusk, and as we drove along the deserted country road, we saw a pickup truck approaching, It pulled alongside us, and stopped. The man and his young son were in the truck, and they stopped and peered off across the field that stretched out before us. We stopped too , looking to see what attracted them. And there, off in a distance, stood a buck and 4 does, quietly and serenely nibbling grass, which by this time had a thin layer of white frost on it. None of us said a thing as we watched the deer, just quietly eating . The little boy could not have been much older than 5, and he stood up, clinging to his dads shoulder, and with the window open to the winter air, we heard him exclaim, “wow” ! Then, his father explained that the deer were santas deer, resting and eating after their hard night of work. The deer meanwhile paid no attention to any of us as they inched a little closer to where we were. The boys eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, he was so in awe, he could not speak, and his dad just held onto him, a big grin on his face. The glow inside the cab of that truck was palpable. None of us said a word, but, we were connected in some way, during that incident. That darling little boy showed us what the happiness of Christmas was really all about. More than serendipity, it was MAGICAL !!!
Wishing You a Happy Holiday Season.
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