VOLUME 11 - ISSUE 12 / FEB 2016
INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~
What does it mean to ‘be still before God’? | Page 10
Sophisticated Women ~ Do you have a dream? | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Have you lost your motivation? | Page 14
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essage M
Heart from the
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From The Editor: Judy Smith
eople impact us in so many ways as we walk through life. Some very slightly, others with great impact. I think it was Charlie Brown who said “I love mankind....it’s people I can’t stand”. Well, maybe it was Charles Schulz who really said it. I love people....I love watching people. One completely amazing thing to me is how my heart can be touched even by people I don’t really know. Have you ever been inspired by someone you was listening to on the radio or watching on TV? Or how about, just meeting someone for the first time and you immediately felt a connection? Maybe you even made the statement that you feel like you have known them all your life. Then there is the opposite. I will never forget a business meeting I was asked to be a part of. Please understand that I am not saying I was special or important or anything like that, however, I do have a lot of connections in our area....for better or for worse. At this meeting, there were a few more women than men. Keep in mind, this is not something that recently happened. Actually, it was a number of years ago. Yet, to this day, this one man made a very bad impression on most of the women there. He came across with the attitude that he was on a much higher level than most of us in that room. Guess what....he was never invited back to that group again. The most important thing about all of that was the loss of respect we had for him from then on. Even though it has been years since this happened, I can clearly recall it to this day.
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You might be thinking that I am being very hard. Anyone can make a bad first impression. Was it just a fluke? This particular time, I don’t think so. Especially since it was not just me who was so put off. So it is very important how you treat others and especially that very first time. There have been times that I didn’t really connect with someone at the beginning but over time, I really began to realize how much I valued them. That is the way I feel about our readers....especially when I get to talk with you. Sometimes it is in person, sometimes a phone call and other times just a message on Facebook. I am truly touched by every story I hear. There are so many times I honestly wish I could reach out and just give you a hug or sit down and drink a cup of coffee with you. There are so many people that we touch with Sophie Woman’s Magazine and we are the ones blessed because of it. Here is something that someone sent me through email. The author is unknown so I cannot pass on credit to the writer. It touched my heart and I hope it touches yours. At birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel on our side. However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone. As time goes by, other people will board the train, and they will be significant, i.e., our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of your life. Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we don’t realize they vacated their seats. This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves. The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down. So, we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty, we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life. I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life. Reap success and give lots of love. More importantly, thank God for the journey. Lastly, I thank you for being one of the passengers on my train. And that is from my heart!
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phie Woman’s Magazine
P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager: Scott Hansley Sales: Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com Darlene Bonds 828-320-3700 darlene@sophiewomansmagazine.com How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste.
A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses. For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.
************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************
pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
Message from the Heart
3
Reaching Your Full Potential
6
Sophisticated Women
8
Girlfriends in God
10
The Front Porch
12
Me, Myself, & Inc.
14
Make Me Mine a Heart of Siler
16
Recipe for Life
18
A Valentine from Heaven
20
Warm Ideas for a Cool Day
22
He Said, She Said
24
Day In & Day Out
26
February is for Lovers
28
All You Have to do is “Decide to Do It”
30
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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Have You Learned To Love? by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author
Some Interesting Facts About Brands • M&M’s chocolate stands for the initials for its inventors Mars and Murrie • the first Burger King was opened in Miami Florida in 1954 • Did you knowthere are 22 stars in the Paramount studios logo • Coca Cola launched its 3rd product Sprite in 1961 • Hilton was the first international hotel chain • the brand Nokia is named after a place in Southern Finland • Porsche also builds tractors • Iceland consumes more Coca Cola than any other country • MasterCard was originally called MasterCharge • Diet Coke was introduced in 1982 • the first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum • the first Lifesaver flavor was peppermint • Orange Fanta is the 3rd largest selling soft drink in the world pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
“It isn’t where you came from. It’s where you’re going that counts.” Ella Fitzgerald One year ago today, a friend of mine spoke into my destiny and challenged me to take steps toward greater freedom. Today, I took a huge leap of faith as I sold my home of fourteen years in exchange for a small, simple house. While there is certainly sacrifice involved, I want to demonstrate to my family, my friends and my clients that I live the principles I coach with. One of the principles I have come to love is sowing into people when they least expect it. Yesterday, as I was rushing about while daydreaming of my new home, I rushed through a drive-up to grab a quick burger. The cutest young man rolled toward my Jeep window with a huge smile on his face. I handed him $20.00. As he was counting out my change, I began to have a message for him rise up in my spirit. Call me strange, but that is how God speaks to me. He handed me the change, which included a ten dollar bill. I took the money in my hand and called him back as he quickly began to skate away. I asked him if he had ever been told that the number ten represents a testimony … the kind of story a person has to tell when God has done something supernatural for them? He gave me a confused look. I quickly spoke encouragement over his life and his destiny, challenging him to stay free of influences that could cause him to make unwise decisions that could derail his precious calling in life. Then I told him I wanted to sow a seed into his destiny as I handed him a $10.00 tip. I never knew it was possible to jump vertically while wearing roller skates. This handsome young man began to tear up as he jumped straight into the air. As he rolled away, he told me no one had ever done anything like that for him before. I watched him skate back into the kitchen area where he continued to leap into the air repeatedly as he loudly exclaimed what had just happened. “Look what I just got!”
Ten dollars doesn’t go far, but encouragement is an investment that brings forth a harvest of unimaginable proportions.
As we enter this month, elevate your observation of this wellworn holiday to the next level by taking these few simple steps:
One year ago, my friend Kamran encouraged me to step out in faith. He and his wife, Suzy, have sown seeds of hope, faith and boldness into my life this year of unimaginable proportions.
1. Find a way to show love and appreciation to someone in an unexpected way.
Yesterday, I followed their example and spoke life in a simple way over my new friend, Jakobi. Is there a ten dollar bill in your pocket? Is there a person in your circle of influence that needs to know they matter? In February, we have a holiday set aside to honor LOVE, Valentine’s Day. While it is typically thought of as a day for couples, I want to encourage you to find someone to love in an unexpected way. My friends that I mentioned earlier reach out to individuals in the Middle East through their organization called World Amity, honoring Kamran’s heritage of being from Iran. They boldly go where others are not willing, sowing seeds of faith, hope and practical assistance. One of the men who has influenced my life over the past few years passed away on February 14, 2014. His name was Bob Jones. One of his favorite life questions to ask others was, “Have you learned to love?” I cannot think of a more important way to live in 2016 than to live learning how to love better and from the heart.
2. Ask yourself who is a person you love deeply but have not communicated that love well … then let them know how you feel. 3. Identify and sow into the outreach organization of someone you identify with and want to honor, as I have done for my friends, Kamran and Suzy. 4. Sit down with your family and create a strategy for learning to love each other better in the coming year. I can still picture Jakobi jumping on his roller skates. My heart is still leaping just as high knowing such a simple seed is going to produce a mighty harvest!
As a coach and leader of global impact, Kim seeks to make a difference as she shares principles of true and lasting transformation to individuals and groups internationally. She is accepting five new coaching clients this month. Contact her directly for a FREE CONSULTATION at: kimfletchercoach@ aol.com. To learn more about her life-transforming friends, visit: kamranyaraei.org.
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12/2/15 11:27 AM www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
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ophisticated
Love God & Love the Dream
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Women... By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
o you have a dream? I believe everyone is walking around with a dream that God placed in your heart. It simply needs your love. Your dream can become a desire. And that desire can become your destiny, if you love the dream.
safe. Safe from endless rumination about what could be and the insistent demands of why. When you take hold of the dream, it takes hold of you. Don’t miss this. That’s God taking hold of you! The dream still flows through you but now there is a difference.
Loving your dream means that you invest energy into the dream. There are six energies that you can love your dream with:
You acknowledge the dream.
• • • • • •
Intellectual Emotional Spiritual Physical Social and Financial
For centuries, the power of a dream has been celebrated. Dreams begin as thoughts. At first, dreams are loose, floating around, in, and through us. They’re an enigma.
Now, your second energy can work. The second energy is emotional. You begin to feel the dream working in you. Since you’ve created neural passageways that allow you to recognize the dream, the thoughts are powered by emotions. Clearly emotions put you in “motion.” The “e” stands for “energy.” The emotional energy, fuels you to take action. This is where you move from dream to desire. As your heart fills with emotions your internal drive turns on. Your engine is turned over. You’re ready to go. Your dream has become desire.
At first, you must recognize that you are experiencing thoughts that are...well...dreamy. A thought that is a dream has certain characteristics that delineate it from other thoughts.
Desire initiates action. This is where spiritual energy kicks in. You’ve heard the phrase, “The spirit moved me.” Spiritual energy has the ability to lift you up into action. Spiritual energy comes from your soul. It’s the light inside you. When you have a dream that becomes a desire that is acted on, you rise up internally to take a next right step. You are “in the spirit.”
A thought is a dream if:
The next thing you know, you’re moving …physically.
That is why you must write them down.
• • • • • •
It is a new thought. It is provoking. It moves you on the feeling scale either up or down. It shows you what the future looks like. It is inspiring. It demands that you transform yourself.
The ability to recognize a dream requires intellectual energy. When you think about something, you create neural passageways that connect ideas creating understanding. Look at the word “understanding.” When you take cover with thoughts, you are protected from confusion. You are “standing under” your comprehension of how your thoughts impact you. If you use your intellectual energy to recognize your dream, you are
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
You are turning a desire into destiny. Dictionary.com defines destiny as: the predetermined, usually inevitable, irresistible course of events When your physical energy kicks in, you are moved in the direction that you must go. You are now on your predetermined, inevitable, irresistible course of events! Taking sacred care of your physical energy makes it possible to pursue your destiny. Your “irresistible course of events”, needs your attention. Endurance, stamina, and being free of pain allows you to focus on your destiny. Take sacred care of your body. Now that you’re moving, you’ll find yourself out in the world
engaging people. Here your social energy is essential. The truth is: we depend on others to help us with our destiny. Social energy is the ability to enroll others in the pursuit of your dream. With a circle of people that you influence, you will gain momentum in pursuit of your destiny. Finally, you’ll need to finance your “irresistible course of events.” Your destiny will require financial energy. With your gifts, talents, and circle of influence you begin to serve the world with the highest form of yourself in exchange for money that will continue to financially energize your destiny. These six energies create a cycle of support that fuel your future. Living a vibrant life requires that you harness all six energies. Let’s get started. Love God by loving the dream. Write down the dream and turn a desire into a destiny. At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
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Falling in Love Nothing is more practical Than finding God. That is, than falling in love In a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, What seizes your imagination, Will affect everything. It will decide What will get you out of bed in the morning. What you will do with your evenings. How you will spend your weekends What you read, Who you know, What breaks your heart, And what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, Stay in love, And it will decide everything. -Pedro Arrrupe, SJ (1907-1991)
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After The Rest by Mary Southerland
Today’s Truth
The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul (Psalm 23:1-3, NIV).
Friend to Friend
At the time, I did not understand the deeper meaning of those words, but life and time have illustrated their importance and their truth. The best part of life comes after we rest in God.
The most beautiful service follows time at His feet.
For most of my adult life I have wrongly equated being busy with being productive. I am guilty as charged when it comes to living each day in overdrive. The result has been exhaustion, burnout, and watered down living. God and I both knew that the façade I had so carefully erected was a spiritual monument to self-promotion and pride-filled goals.
Rest is a powerful part of our life song. Just as the rest in music prepares the listener for what comes next, time spent in rest is an invaluable time of preparation and restoration.
“Let’s get started,” Mrs. McKenzie said. I climbed up on the piano bench, waiting for her brilliant instruction to begin. She placed a bright red piano book in front of me and invited me to open it to the first page. I was disappointed to see only little black pictures.
For years, I filled every waking moment with activity. I lived by the principle that busy people are productive people. It was only after I crashed, spending two years in a pit of burnout and depression that I learned the eternal value of rest and stillness. This pivotal life lesson is stated in the simple words of a shepherd.
Mrs. McKenzie smiled as she patiently began to explain the musical symbols pictured in the book before me. I soon grew restless. “What’s the matter?” she asked. “I want to play the piano, please,” I sweetly responded. With a knowing smile, she said, “We’ll get to that.”
The psalmist writes this soothing promise from the perspective of a shepherd tending his flock of sheep. A good shepherd understands the truth that sheep are never fully at ease around rushing water because every sheep innately knows that the weight of their wool – when wet – will drown them. A wise shepherd understands that he must lead his sheep beside still waters, to a place of rest. The sheep only has to follow.
I have always loved music and began taking piano lessons at the age of five. I will never forget that first piano lesson with Mrs. McKenzie, a very sweet, elderly woman who played the piano beautifully.
Where was the music?
I was not happy.
On and on – for what seemed like hours, Mrs. McKenzie pointed to funny-shaped black symbols, named them and explained their meaning. I was not impressed. I just wanted to get my hands on that keyboard.
Sensing my impatience, Mrs. McKenzie pointed to one of the symbols on the page before me and said, “Mary, this small, black box is called a rest and is one of the most important symbols in music.” I simply did not care. It did nothing but sit on a page in useless and unproductive silence. I wanted music. “Do you know why rests are so important in music?” Mrs. McKenzie persisted. Obviously, I had no clue. She then said something I remember to this day, “The music that comes after the rest is the most beautiful music of all.”
pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
Yet, we often buy the enemy’s lie that to rest is a waste. The psalmist disagrees when he writes: He makes me to lie down in green pastures … He restores my soul… (Psalm 23:2-3). Now that word “makes” takes on a whole new meaning when it comes to God’s work in and through us. If we refuse to rest, the Father will “make” us rest. The good news is that time spent in rest is the prelude of God’s restoration power.
Psalm 23:2 “He leads me beside quiet waters.”
Today, make the commitment to carve out a daily time to spend in rest.Sit at His feet. Allow Him to restore, replenish and refocus your heart and mind. Then rise to serve Him and lead others to the quiet waters of rest.
Let’s Pray
Father, forgive me for the arrogance that keeps me on the run, trying to prove my worth. Teach me how to rest in You, Lord. Help me learn how to say “no” to those things that keep me from sitting at Your feet. Give me a hunger and thirst for You that can only be satisfied by time alone with You. I love You, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Consider the following questions: • Why does it really mean to “be still before God”? • What “time thieves” do I need to eliminate from my schedule? • What long-term commitment do I need to make concerning rest? • What areas of my life seem to be out of control and need to be submitted to God? Choose a time and place where you can rest. Read Psalm 23 every day and record the benefits of rest in your life in your journal.
More from the Girlfriends
Need help being a sheep that follows her Shepherd? Mary’s book, Escaping the Stress Trap, is based on Psalm 23 and offers a step-by-step plan for learning how to truly rest in God. Looking for more? Perfect for personal or small group study. Chapter-bychapter study guide included.
Seeking God? Girlfriends in God P.O. Box 1311 Huntersville, NC 28070 info@girlfriendsingod.com www.girlfriendsingod.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
Front The
A
Porch
fter she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
by Judy Smith
"The evening was a disaster," he moaned. "Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother. "Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook."
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled The Meaning of Dreams.
A quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, in my opinion is a good definition. "Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
February is the month of LOVE…or at least, that is what it says on the calendar. Everyone is searching for TRUE LOVE so I wanted to focus on what that means.
One sure thing I have learned from over 32 years of marriage is that Love is not just a feeling. There are some times that I do not “feel” the love. Yes, I said that out loud and even put it in print. OH MY GOODNESS! Yet I love this man I am married to with all my heart.
Here is Merriam-Webster’s Simple Definition of love: • a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person • attraction that includes sexual desire : the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship • a person you love in a romantic way If you have been married for a long time, I am not so sure you would describe love in that way. Maybe that is the definition for some young people who are just searching but even then, I don’t think if the person they loved asked them why they loved them, this would be a good answer. Can’t you just see it….they are sitting at a romantic restaurant and she stares in his eyes and asks him how he feels for her and his answer is: “I have a feeling of strong or constant affection for you”. Sorry, but I do not see her falling in his arms at that very moment. Sort of like this young man. He called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.
pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
Even when he does those annoying things! Most people who know my husband cannot even imagine that he “could even do annoying things”. I can assure you that he can. However, I am sure my list is longer than his. These annoyances are usually little things. For example, it annoys him so much when I just leave my coffee cup on the counter…instead of putting it in the dishwasher. It annoys me that he gets annoyed by that. After all, I might want another cup of coffee…..well, I might! Yet, we are committed to each other and you know those little annoying habits go right out of my head when he makes me laugh, especially when he sings to me! We want to fix each other’s problems but there are times we just can’t. However, we have promised each other, that no matter what, we will face them together. So what is true love? The real answer is found in God’s Word….
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
Have you lost your motivation? It is usually in February that the many resolutions that were made
with the best of intentions at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve begin to shift, several of which dwindling out of mindfulness and losing momentum. As inspired as you may have been at the time, somehow life or a myriad of other circumstances have managed to get in your way, causing that one particular goal or desire to become lower and lower of a priority. You may have your own excuses or reasons for why this is happening related to your specific intentions, however chances are that what lies underneath comes down to one of these three causes. A Work Life Balance Mentality: If everything in your existence is being viewed from an attempt to balance work and life, then your personal goals and work or business goals are viewed and being considered separately. They are literally being pitted against one another in a constant tug of war over which one will get your attention for the moment. Instead, focus upon how you want to be and feel fulfilled as a person. Make your goals about what will satisfy you in relation to your interaction and engagement with others. Make your goals about how you can better nurture and take care of yourself. Make your goals about how you can feel challenged and fulfilled in your livelihood. By shifting the focus to be more internalized and in tune with you, you will make a remarkable shift that looks at your goals in a more holistic way. As a result, how you take the steps to achieve them will feel more in step with who you are and how you want to be. Not SET Properly: Is there an art to setting goals? Is there a science? Where most people miss the mark, hence why their goals no longer have the appeal they might have initially had, is because the goals were not set in the right mindset. S = Significance: You matter. Therefore, your goals had better matter to you. Ask yourself how each goal is significant to you and why each matters to you or others in your life when you achieve it. If you cannot come up with some compelling reasons, it will likely not be a goal you will stick with to achieve. E= Energizing: When you think about the journey in achieving the goal, is it energizing? Does is swell up a passion about something or a variety of things that gets your juices flowing? What you are most passionate about is also what you will be most dedicated to seeing through.
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
T = Tangible: Making your goal tangible in that it has a basis of measurement to confirm it has been achieved is important. Without a tangible result or outcome to measure against, it will always feel like a moving target. When a goal always feels out of your grasp, you begin to question whether it is worth the hassle. The real issue may be that you never defined a specific tangible outcome that would help you know you were getting closer and closer. No Connectivity or Synergy: Another challenge that can sabotage goals from being realized is having numerous goals that have nothing that links them together, either in our minds or our lives. They are random desires with no connections that would strengthen them and enable you to build one upon the other. When you set goals from the inside out, you are more likely to have goals that are interconnected to and for you. They actually build upon one another. One goal achieved lays the groundwork for another goal be the focus. You are creating goal synergy. The definition of synergy is the interaction or cooperation of two or more forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects. Seeing and acting based on how your goals can work together instead of against one another will put you on the threshold of a whole new way of approaching how you achieve. This begins with understanding why you have each goal to begin with and what achieving the goal will ultimately mean for you and those you care about. If you don’t have compelling reasons that nurture and bring out the very best in you, then perhaps one of your goals isn’t one to be pursued after all. Sometimes the greatest blessing we can know is when life naturally clues us in on what really matters and what doesn’t. If you find yourself feeling less enthusiastic about something you were determined to achieve initially, revisit this goal and consider that it needs to be more about you and who you are to really set your feet on fire.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
11/13/15 9:54:44 AM
Heart
Make Mine A
of
Silver by Mary Felkins
Remove the dross from the silver and out comes material for the silversmith. Proverbs 25:4
I wasn’t always so enamored by silver. In high school, wearing silver jewelry was considered lame, as though it somehow communicated that Daddy didn’t have enough money to purchase gold jewelry for his daughter. And what U.S. Olympian, when interviewed, ever said, “I’ve committed my entire life for this moment and it is my greatest desire to take home…the silver.” Let’s face it, the crowd has never been heard shouting, “Go for the silver, America!” From an in-depth study on prayer by Jennifer Kennedy Dean (Living the Praying Life), I’ve come to learn that silver is one of the most malleable of all metal substances. It is shaped easily when hammered or pressed. Taking a hammer to a rod of iron and, yeah, it remains a rod of iron. Silver is the best conductor of both electrical and thermal energy and is the standard by which other metals are measured. The purer the silver the more effective its conductivity. With regard to light, pure silver reflects it best. But what does silver have to do with my heart? Plenty. It gives me cause to remember a woman named Judith. Following a small gathering of women this one evening, she cut right through my ‘every-thing-is-fine’ image armor with just one statement. “Seems God is turning up the heat.” She was right. Life had become increasingly intense over past months. My husband had been traveling for weeks at a time while I attempted to meet the needs of our two small children. Our house was on the market, leaving me to maintain household order for the flow of potential buyers (Did I mention I had two small children?).
pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
Pressures within our immediate family mounted. Indeed, the heat was rising. I was worn, haggard, irritable. Tears came easily. I felt hammered, pressed. Discontent desecrated the sanctuary of my soul. Forget the many inspiring psalms of praise and thanksgiving. I kept a thumb on Psalm 13 and created a close companion of the peevish Kind David: How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? (Preach it!)
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? (Amen, brother!) And I pleaded right along with him. “How long, O Lord?”
The Silversmith studied my heart condition, cranked the heat. “The dross, child.” I leaned into the mirror, squinted. “The what?” I tugged at my cheeks with two fingers, exposing reddened eyes set against a gray pallor. “Dross. Impurities. They rise to the surface as temperatures increase. I remove them from your heart so My power will flow through you most effectively.” I plucked lint from my clothing as though removing that whateverit-was. “Oh.” “I desire a refined heart, one tested in the furnace of affliction, made like liquid silver. The process requires intense heat.” “I’ll say,” I sighed, fanning myself with an oven mitt. “‘Blessed are the pure in heart…’” We finished the holy text in unison. “...for they will see God.” I smiled, hopeful, and wrapped myself in His love. “So, this heated furnace of testing and trials thing, can we be done with the increased temperatures, the hammering, and pressing?” The Silversmith shook His head. “Some impurities require more intense heat.” I lowered my eyes, drew an imaginary line with my toe across the pavement. “Like pride?” He nodded. “Not a lot of charge flows through a heart tainted with self-love.” “And the grumbling?” He cupped a clay crucible. “Desecrates the temple where My Spirit lives.” Likely the reflection of His image in my heart was dim, too. For you, O God, tested us; You refined us like silver. Psalm 66:10
I considered the Refiner’s fire: ~A heart of silver remains malleable. When life is difficult, He’s placed me in a crucible of testing to remove the dross. I must surrender as He shapes me into material useful for His purposes. ~A heart of silver is highly conductive. His power flows through me as I stay connected to him. ~A heart of silver is reflective. Others should see a clear image of God when they look at my life. So, time for a heart check up. Is it pure? If not, I’ll yield to the able hand of the Silversmith and ask that He make mine a heart of silver.
About the Author Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Throughout the course of her private nutrition consulting business she wrote much of her own teaching materials. Mary is currently constructing her first Christian contemporary romance using principles taught by My Book Therapy (www. mybooktherapy.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written. She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver. Mary cordialy invites you to take a plunge into the deep oceans of thought or to stop and laugh out loud at her website, www. maryfelkins.com Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
Recipes for ife
L
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body Butterscotch Cheesecake Bars
(From the kitchen of Tina deHaas) 12 oz. butterscotch morsels 1/3 c. margarine or butter 2 c. graham cracker crumbs 1 c. chopped nuts 8 oz. cream cheese, softened 14 oz. sweetened condensed milk 1 tsp. vanilla extract 1 egg • • • •
Preheat oven to 350 degrees (325 degrees for a glass dish). Melt morsels and butter in a medium saucepan; stir in crumbs and nuts. Press half of this mixture onto the bottom of a greased 9x13 pan. In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Then, add the condensed milk, vanilla, and egg. Mix well. Pour into the 9x13 pan and top with the remaining crumb mixture. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool to room temperature, then chill. Cut into 24 bars and serve, storing any leftovers in the refrigerator.
A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You are the Lover of my soul—the One who perfectly gladdens and satisfies my heart. I confess my love for You cannot compare … yet it exists. I love You and long to love You more. Please grow our relationship, which will increase my love for my wonderful husband. Thank You for blessing my life with him—he’s a treasure. Please help me to consider his needs and interests before my own. In Jesus’ glorious name, Amen.
Food for the Soul My husband especially enjoys butterscotch. Sometimes he reminisces about the butterscotch malted milkshake he repeatedly ordered as a boy at a famous fast-food chain. While I can’t imitate that recipe, all things butterscotch grab my attention for his benefit. These cheesecake bars make both of us happy—Mark appreciates
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
one of his favorite flavors while I receive joy knowing this dessert delights him. I try to stay in tune with my husband’s likes and dislikes because I love him. Thankfully, he’s very agreeable and generally optimistic, so I find this pretty easy to accomplish. At the same time, certain things do bother him, which I try to avoid. Loving Mark well includes caring about whatever he cares about. Though this sounds simplistic, implementing this perspective blesses my marriage. As a young wife, I would have agreed earnestly with this outlook. Yet in all honesty, I valued marriage more for what I could get than what I could give. I’ve grown a lot by God’s grace through the years, but my selfish desires still surface far too often. Philippians 2:4 reads, “Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Talk about convicting. In a world where self-absorption and self-promotion are commonplace—where selfies abound—the Lord desires a different attitude. He calls us to care for others more than ourselves. He instructs us to put others first. He demonstrated through His Son the exact kind of people we ought to be, and all of us can improve. Whether we’re totally narcissistic or admirably focused on God and others, we can imitate Christ more fully every passing day. Love “does not seek its own” (1 Cor. 13:5). Wouldn’t the world be such a better place if we could adhere more closely to this one principle? And I daresay, wouldn’t our communication, intimacy, and overall satisfaction in marriage increase if we applied this simple truth regularly? True love grants priority to the beloved one. We also can utilize this viewpoint in relating to God. He’s given us His Word so we can know what He likes and dislikes. Out of love for Him, we should spend time making these discoveries … and living them. God’s love for us is unimaginably magnificent, but sometimes our love for Him is frightfully small. Dear friends, this ought not be. Let’s enhance our understanding of how we can please the Lord, putting this knowledge into action because obedience indicates our love for God. “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15). Let’s keep it simple this Valentine’s Day and all year through. What do our significant others care about? What makes them happy? Let’s focus on loving and serving them instead of trying to achieve our desires. Additionally, let’s demonstrate our love for God by pleasing Him. As we cherish the Lord and others through our actions, we’ll find life holds a vibrancy and excitement we can’t contain. Love to you in Christ, and until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life… Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19
A Valentine from Heaven by Debbie Roberson
E
veryone kept telling me that I was so strong. I didn’t feel strong. Most of the time I felt numb … wooden … robotic … disconnected from life – but then Grief would come and kick me in the stomach … HARD. Grief is a tangible entity … cold and dark and physical. It was in those moments that I felt Grief all the way down to the very nucleus of my being … and Grief hurt. Grief also made me think and do stupid, irrational things. “If I can just get my house in order. I’ll start with cleaning out my purse.” I dumped the contents on the carpet in our den and I sat down Indian-style on the floor to begin what should have been a five minute process. I shuffled things back and forth from one pile to another. Then I lost focus altogether. I felt like I was losing my mind. Why didn’t I realize that no amount of cleaning or organizing could put my life back in order? I spent that entire day wandering back and forth from room to room – pitifully looking for what couldn’t be found again - our daughter . . . our Susan. I had not been able to focus since the day she died – except when I was writing. I prayed each day for God to give me the words. I felt driven to write about all the many ways that He had showed His presence to me during the weeks before and after my daughter’s passing. I prayed each day for my written words to bring Him glory. I prayed for His magnificent light to shine up and through the words . . . transforming the story of my dark winter night into a spring morning full of warm sunshine and newborn hope. It was Thursday, February 5, 2004. I had my Quiet Time and wrote for a while before going upstairs to file a document in my “important papers box”. I walked wearily into Susan’s old room and pulled the box down off of the top closet shelf. I placed it on her bed and opened the lid. The contents popped out at me like a jack-in-the-box and I wondered how I had even been able to shut the lid when I last filed something away. Legitimate important papers like deeds, car titles, insurance policies, and birth certificates were in this box - but for some reason I had kept far too many insurance premium stubs and old receipts. One by one, I slowly weeded through the papers. I finally made it to the bottom of the box. My heart skipped a beat when I saw an envelope with Susan’s handwriting across the front. The postmark was February 14, 1994. Whatever was in the envelope had been written ten years earlier and was postmarked on Valentine’s Day. With trembling hands, I delicately removed four pages of cream colored Victorian stationery from the opened envelope. Each page was adorned with delicate pink roses in the upper left hand corner. Susan would have been thirteen years old when she wrote the words. As I read the letter, I heard her sweet voice speaking straight to my broken heart. Dear Mom and Dad, I am glad that you love me and care for me every day of my life. I can’t thank you enough for all of the wonderful things you have done to help me in my life. Every day I pray and thank
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
God for letting me have such good parents like you. Both of you are a special piece of my life, and I love you. I love you both because you care for me and love me every day, whether I am bad or good. Thank you Mom for bringing me into the world, so I can have everlasting life. Thank you Dad for loving me and caring for me. Thank you for teaching me about good manners and about having a good attitude towards others. All of these things you have done have made me feel like I am blessed and loved. I just want to take this time to say thank you for all of the wonderful things you have done in my lifetime. I think your loving care every day has made me a loving person. You have taught me a great deal about how to be a mature young lady and not a crazy little girl. I am glad you taught me to act nicely so other people can act nicely towards me wherever I go. Please continue caring for me and teaching me the right things to do. I will always remember what you did to make me the person that I am! I love you very much! Your Daughter ~ Susan Why had I saved this sweet Valentine in the “important papers box” along with deeds, and insurance policies and car titles? Why wasn’t it in Susan’s Rubbermaid school box, along with her spelling tests, and writing journals, and all the other Valentines and Mother’s Day cards that she had made for me out of construction paper and glitter? God knew that I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to go through Susan’s Rubbermaid treasure chest of memories. He arranged instead for me to tuck the letter away in my “important papers box” - in exactly the right place for me to find it ten years later. I reverently slipped the Valentine from Heaven back into the faded envelope. I held it close to my heart for a good while . . . and I smiled to myself as I thought of God’s great love for me. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 About the Author Debbie Roberson is a wife and the mother of a grown married son. She is also the mother of a beautiful daughter who now lives in Heaven. She is a lover of Jesus with a desire to encourage and inspire others through the words that He puts in her heart.
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Warm ideas for a by Susan Guest, ASID It was a cold and rainy day! A day when even the Norwegian elk hounds sat by the fire. Nothing could warm my bones from the wind and damp outside. My mental state was not much better than my shivering body. I looked around our home and everything was in disarray. Paint peeling, grout needed replacing, cabinets needed touchup and repair. Christmas was over and all the fun and festivities ended a couple of months ago. Such a depressing feeling! Years ago, I went through a difficult time where I felt trapped in a life that was way too busy and fast--sort of like being on a train that would not stop. After hiring the services of a life coach, I learned that one of my “issues” pertained to physical environment. For a designer who is supposed to have everything under control, how did I let this happen? Peeling paint, untrimmed bushes, and unorganized areas of my home actually drained energy from my body. These things revealed a life that was just as busy and out of control. Who would have thought! I still have unkempt flower beds and closets full of clutter; but now know that they adversely affect my productivity and mood. This knowledge has made me more sensitive to clients’ needs for order and function. There are several reasons that your environment matters: •
An uncluttered work space helps un-clutter your brain and releases your creativity.
•
A well arranged area is safer because it offers a
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clearer means of egress (a better exit) if you have an emergency such as a fire. Also, you are less likely to trip and fall if your space is tidier.
•
Your apartment, home, or office reveals who you are as a person. It might also state who you want to be or wish others to think you are.
•
For some people, their environment is a creative outlet. They love to clean, shop for “treasures” and feather their nest.
•
If you entertain often for business or pleasure, the appearance of your home can aid in whatever goal you are trying to achieve.
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•
Sometimes a change in your environment is needed. Sometimes a change from your environment is needed. When I am bored or unhappy with my home, just taking a trip away or helping those who are less fortunate, make my home seem more wonderful.
So, as you can see, it is not selfish to have beautiful surroundings. If you need assistance, I know a great designer who can help.
Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
12/18/15 1:29:48 PM
He Said, She Said
It’s the Small Things That Matter Most. by David and Amy Washco
A
new year brings renewed focus on health and weight loss. Physicals are scheduled, gym memberships increase and spandex across America gives a collective cry as it stretches to the max! While cardio health is an important focus, don’t ignore your love life. Just like your health or an annual job review, it’s a good idea to check the pulse of your significant relationship from time to time. When it comes to waistlines and relationships, size matters.. We’re not talking about the size of your diamond or the size of your wallet. In today’s materialistic world, it’s good to remind ourselves that love in a relationship is not just a noun -- it’s actually a verb. Love is an action word that requires you to act or do. The size of the love you demonstrate for your significant other can positively impact your relationship more than you realize. But, this is where it gets tricky. While grandiose romantic gestures are nice, we would argue that it’s the “small” things that matter most.
He Said:
For any significant relationship, marriage or friendship- in order to have lasting intimacy, it’s important to fuel the flames. Larger romantic gestures like a nice dinner out, jewelry or a Caribbean vacation remind me of bright sparks of flame that will most likely make her heart skip a beat at that moment, but they won’t keep the fire going over time. It’s the little things I try to do more frequently that make her look at me in that special way. The small things I do are my way of telling her, “You are important to me, I value and cherish you.” She treats me the same way. For example, I left for work one day and found a heart drawn with lipstick on my rearview mirror. On a business trip I reached into my briefcase and pulled out a piece of lingerie which made my face turn red, but made my coworker extremely jealous. One of my favorite stories is about the first time she shaved the back of my neck between haircuts. It was on a Sunday before church. I asked her what she was doing, and she told me that she wanted everyone sitting behind me to know that I was loved and cared for.
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
She Said:
I fell in love on the day he told me he owned not one, but two vacuum cleaners: a portable and an upright! While I really didn’t marry him for his cleaning skills, this piece of information told me he was a man of action. From our dating relationship into our married relationship he’s consistently doing what I like to call “random acts of love.” For example, one cold morning, I was running late for work and knew my car needed gas. I cranked up, backed out, got down the road heading towards the gas station only to realize my husband had already put gas in my car. I didn’t ask him to do this. I didn’t even tell him my car needed gas. He thought to do it, did it, and most importantly didn’t even seek credit for it. He also knows I love Saturday Night Live and am obsessed with aliens. On nights where I am just too tired to stay awake or forget that my favorite aliens are invading, he always thinks ahead to set the DVR. The last business trip he went on, he pre-typed sweet emails for each day he was going to be gone and scheduled them to arrive each morning. Too many people enter relationships not truly understanding what love is. Deep lasting love develops over time from each person committing to “love” the other person. That includes love, the noun, and equally important love, the verb. Honestly, the action of love can be challenging. While showing love doesn’t have to cost a lot, these small expressions take thought, intent and selflessness which tend to go against our nature. Ultimately, when it comes to love, size does matter. Without small random acts of love over time, large romantic gestures ring hollow, and the sparks of flame can disappear with the first gust of wind.
David and Amy Washco are survivors of divorce and serve as relationship advocates. With a financial and marketing background, they are married and live in Hickory, NC. David and Amy are parents to 17 year old Savannah and 9 year old Riley.
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Day In and Day Out... Loving is Doing
Loving is Doing
S phie Woman’s Magazine
A
by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC
s my kids are quickly moving from adolescence to adulthood,
As my kids are quickly moving fromfound adolescence to adulthood, have myself I have myself reflecting on the Iway myfound love for them reflectin my love for them has transformed over time. It has gotten deeper and richer and suppose mo has transformed over time. It has gotten deeper and richerIand complicated. I guessI this shouldn’t surprise me. The way I demonstrated my The affection suppose more complicated. I guess this shouldn’t surprise me. way for the I demonstrated foritthem as Sure, an infant washug quite different infant was quite different from the my wayaffection I express today. I still them and find mys from the way I express today. Sure, I stillover hug the themyears. and find myself them in awe, but other dimensions of loveithave been added staring at them in awe, but other dimensions of love have been added
theoveranalyzing years. Because I find great over joy in everything from the mundane to the meaningful, th reflections prompted me to list the primary of love that we from mamas Because I find great joyexpressions in overanalyzing everything thehave mun-for our k development. I wrotedane outtothe tasks of love that are associated theprimary four main seas theprimary meaningful, these reflections prompted me towith list the expressions of love that we(because mamas have for our childhood. Sliding my words into a diagram pictures helpkids meacross grasp developthings), it looke ment. I wrote out the primary tasks of love that are associated with the like this. four main seasons of childhood. Sliding my words into a diagram (because pictures help me grasp things), it looked kind of like this.
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pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016 If you read the verbs that represent much of what we do for our kids out loud, it sure explains
so tired all of the time! And, you and I both know that my little list is just that. It’s little and h
If you read the verbs that represent much of what we do for our kids out loud, it sure explains why we’re so tired all of the time! And, you and I both know that my little list is just that. It’s little and hardly captures all that we do in love. Not only that, it is helpful to look at where we start when they first land in our arms. The list is pretty basic. Even though we might be new to mothering, the actions that represent our love for our babies can be summed up by a handful of words. But, as they grow, so do the list of actions! Not only that, we keep the tasks of that first triangle going while we display our love and commitment to them in new ways. And, if we add another child, or two or three or four, then we are simultaneously jumping from one triangle to another all day long. It’s like patting our head, rubbing our tummies while jumping up and down! There’s a lot to loving our kids. Yet if we’re completely honest we can’t deny that these tasks associated with love are some of the most satisfying and exhilarating things we do as moms. Because if you have been blessed with kids, you know that deep beneath any feelings you may have, you know that you were made to love them. And, whenever we do what we were made to do, we experience deep satisfaction. Because love is active and relational, loving our kids means that we are constantly expending energy. You can see that each of the verbs I listed above are active not passive. “Love is never stationary,” writes Bob Goff in his book Love Does. When we genuinely love someone we are compelled to do something, to act upon that love. But, if genuine love moves us toward action, then what lies behind the paralysis we can often feel as moms, especially when our kids aren’t progressing or performing as we’d hoped or imagined? Without a doubt, it is fear. When we are filled with stress, worry or even anger (which are all just variations of fear), there is no room for love. Fear squelches love. But, the Bible says that the opposite is true as well. Perfect love expels all fear. (I John 3:16)
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When you look at that list fellow mom, remember that the goal is not to keep striving or checking things off by our own effort. Instead, it is to remember that day by day we can love like this because He will give us what we need. Be amazed when you look at the list. It is a lot. But know that the One who is so crazy in love with you is willing and able to love like that through you as you surrender to His perfect love, where fear has no place. Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor. For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry. net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.
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For you and me to love our kids, our spouse, our neighbor well, we must lean into the perfect love that comes from the Father. He is the author of love and the One that created us to love. We can’t do it without Him. Only as we are daily filled by Him through His word and His spirit, can we carry out the demands of love. Without it, we will quickly wear ourselves out. Only the source of love can give us what we need.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
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February is for Lovers by Jan McCanless
I am once again marveling at how fast this year is going. Valentines day already ! February is here, and one of the best days of the year. It’s an interesting holiday, don’t you think? The first year my spouse and I were married, he came in with a 10 lb box of candy for me, and all kinds of mushy cards. Do you know how big 10 lbs of candy is? Trust me, it’s huge. He meant well, I’m sure, but, for a lady who is watching her diet, 10 lbs of candy is a tremendous temptation. Ended up I would secrete 5 or 6 pieces a day in a napkin and take them to the break room at work to share. No way I could eat that much candy, nor would I want to. Second year we were married he improved somewhat. He only gave me a 5 lb box of candy,and I was expecting our first child by then, and didn’t need 5 lbs of candy . He did it anyway. Well, fortunately, over the years, the candy stopped, the mushy cards stopped, and soon we were exchanging gifts like a new wheelbarrow or hair dryer. Great fun of course, but nothing compares with the old fashioned way we did it as kids. Remember those big, lacy heart covered boxes our teacher would put in the front of the room? We were supposed to put our valentines to fellow students in this box sometime the week of Valentines Day. We girls were rather bold, dropping in bunches of them at a time. the boys, however, would surepticiously sneak them in when they thought no one was watching them. Our teachers encouraged us all to include every student in our class with a Valentine card. We did, but, still agonized over the fact that maybe that cute boy in the front row would not send one to us. We all were hoping for one from him, and he didn’t seem inclined to do that sort of thing, he was too ‘cool’. When my own children were in school, my daughter was all in favor of the Valentines, and took great pains to address them herself and scrawl a name on the front of the envelope. She was such a little social butterfly though, she not only included her own room mates, she would want them for kids in other classes as well. I was so proud !! Her brothers though, now that’ s another story altogether. They wanted no part of giving Valentines to other kids, especially girls !!! So, Mom would get the cards laid out, place an envelope beside each one,
pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
and order them to sit down and begin to fill in names. They were not happy, and when I explained to them that one day they would meet a girl and would not be able to wait to give them a Valentine, or flowers, or chocolates, or ‘gasp’ a kiss. That would send them to their rooms with their head under a pillow. It would not be too many years before I was proved right, and,in fact, the oldest one had many, many Valentines one year,. I often wondered if each knew about the other ones. I can only hope he gave each girl a different card. Well times change, and while Valentines Day remains a romantic holiday, just made for lovers, it no longer holds the magic it once did. What a shame, romance should never go out of style !! Couple months ago, I spoke to a mens group one evening, and, at the end of my talk, I opened the floor to questions. One man raised his hand and sheepishly asked me how to understand and deal with a woman. He claimed we are the most fascinating, frustrating, but, delightful creatures in the world. His question drew a laugh, but my answer was serious. Years ago there was a wonderful musical on Broadway called Camelot, and one of my favorite songs from the show is entitled, “How to Handle a Woman”.
How to Handle a Woman, you love her, merely love her simply love her love her, love her Surprisingly, that philosophy works for everybody . . . . . . . everybody.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
All you have to do is
“decide to do it” By Karin Borei, Hickory Museum of Art Project Coordinator In 2000, printmaker and sculptor Elizabeth Catlett acknowledged her influence on younger black women. She said that being a black woman sculptor “before, was unthinkable… There were very few black women sculptors – maybe five or six – and they all had very tough circumstances to overcome. You can be black, a woman, a sculptor, a print-maker, a teacher, a mother, a grandmother, and keep a house. It takes a lot of doing but you can do it. All you have to do is decide to do it.”
clay and wood, and took Wood’s advice to look to her own people for inspiration. After Iowa, Catlett moved to New Orleans to work at Dillard University, spending her summer breaks in Chicago. There she studied ceramics at the Art Institute of Chicago, and also met her first husband, Charles White. They married in 1941 and moved to New York City. They shared an interest in black history, the Mexican muralists and the talents of African-Americans; and Catlett put this awareness to use while teaching at the George Washington Carver School in Harlem. In 1946 Catlett won a Rosenwald fellowship that allowed her to study in Mexico. There Catlett, having divorced White, married Mexico City painter Francisco Mora. The couple had three children, all of whom eventually developed their own careers in the arts. In 1958, Catlett became the first female professor of sculpture and the head of the sculpture department at the National Autonomous University of Mexico. She became a Mexican citizen in 1962, and lived in Mexico for the rest of her life. Catlett’s artistic work continues to be sought after, exhibited and collected world-wide.
See the works of Elizabeth Catlett at Hickory Museum of Art as part of the exhibition – Tribute to the Harlem Renaissance: Works from the Permanent Collection, opening February 6, 2016 in the Windows Gallery. This exhibition will run through April 17.
Art historian and Catlett scholar Melanie Herzog wrote in 2005: “Printmaking for Catlett is a consciously political practice. At the same time, however, her prints – some intricately detailed and others elegantly spare – manifest her understanding that the power of an image resides in the artist’s command of form, sensitivity to materials and technical proficiency.” The woman depicted in her lithograph Cartas is Whoopi Goldberg portraying Celie Harris in the 1985 Steven Spielberg film The Color Purple. The film was made in North Carolina’s Anson and Union Counties, and Elizabeth Catlett was commissioned to participate in the promotional campaign for the film. The Color Purple portrays the transformation of an African American woman dealing with poverty, racism and sexism, a woman who is a survivor helped by other strong women. Here, Celie is gazing at letters from her sister Nettie that have been hidden from Celie for years and tell of Nettie’s life in Africa. In 1935, after graduating with high honors and a Bachelor of Science degree in art from Howard University, Catlett spent two years teaching public school art in Durham, N.C., the city of her birth. During this time she and lawyer Thurgood Marshall worked together to gain equal pay for teachers of color. Although their efforts were not successful, Marshall became a U.S. Supreme Court Justice and Catlett became a celebrated artist known around the world for her printmaking and sculpture. It was in college that Catlett first became aware of the Mexican muralists and the concept of using art to educate people about social issues. While studying for her Masters degree at the University of Iowa as a student of regionalist Grant Wood (1891- 1942), Catlett began working with
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2016
Image: Elizabeth Catlett, 1915-2012, Cartas, 1986. Lithograph. Hickory Museum of Art purchase in part funded by the Hickory Alumnae Chapter of the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. Image courtesy of Hickory Museum of Art.
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