Sophie Woman's Magazine Jan 2013

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VOLUME 8 - ISSUE 11 / JANUARY 2013

S

phie

Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Taming The Evil Yes Monster | Page 15 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ Take Your New Year Over The Edge | Page 7 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Who Is In The Room With You? | Page 27 shutterbuggerz pg 37

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From The Editor: Judy Smith

from the

Our november 2012 Winners

Yes….2013! A new year with new possibilities, new adventures, new opportunities and new blessings. Most of you know that 2012 was not the best year for me. I am not alone in this as I have heard many people make that statement. None the less, it is behind us and we have a new day, a new month….a whole new year. What do we do with it? Many people will vow to make changes like losing weight, making more money, spending more time with family, etc., etc. Some, however, will live each day as the day before. I want to share a story with you that I found that touched my heart. One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart. Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said “Why, your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine.” The crowd and the young man looked at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly, but it was full of scars. It had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn’t fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing. The people stared -- how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought? The young man looked at the old man’s heart and saw its state and laughed. “You must be joking,” he said. “Compare your heart with mine. Mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears.” “Yes,” said the old man, “yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.” “Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges -- giving love, is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?” The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man’s heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man’s heart flowed into his. Author Unknown This is what I want for the new year…to love more. More people, more often, more deeply. It may cost me a part of my heart but one thing I have learned from having five children, nine grandchildren and a dog if my husband will let me …..It is impossible to run out of love.

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phie Woman’s Magazine

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A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses. How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste. For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 7 Walking and the Unexpected Benefit..................pg 8 JournalingThe Journey...........................................pg 11 The Fly Lady.........................................................pg 13 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 15 Health & Fitness Tips...........................................pg 16 Vacation or Nightmare?.......................................pg 18 Truth & Beauty....................................................pg 20 The Unwelcome Visitor........................................pg 22 Sophisticated Women...........................................pg 23 The Universe Wants To Be Noticed.......................pg 24 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 27 The Dinner Diva..................................................pg 28 Another Year To Get It Right.............................pg 31 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 33 The Wedding Planner...........................................pg 34 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 37 Mandy’s Misadventures........................................pg 46

*Coming Soon* SUBSCRIPTIONS We have been asked by many of our readers to offer a subscription to Sophie Woman’s Magazine. If you would like more information about a subscription, please visit our website at:

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com or you can call us at:

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********************************************************** Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or ti’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. **********************************************************


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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Take Your New Year Over The Edge! by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker

In December 2010, I introduced you to my friend Windi as my non profit was preparing to travel to Los Angeles to support Windi as she moved from a nursing home into her own apartment. This milestone occurred approximately six years after an enraged driver had intentionally caused Windi to lose control of her vehicle. Everything changed as a spinal cord injury left her fighting for her life. Needless to say, the years that followed were not easy. I just learned that Windi died in her sleep a few days ago, barely over forty and the mother of three precious children. We had spoken twice the week prior to her death. Windi had a beautiful heart despite a life full of heartbreak. She survived more than almost anyone I know and just recently, she told me that she wanted to live to inspire her children to greatness. In honor of her life and her memory, I will silence my own voice and allow her legacy to challenge your new year. The following are Windi’s own words as captured in the book we co-authored in 2004, Your Exceptional Life Begins Now – Just Over the Edge: “…Sometimes we choose the edge and sometimes the edge chooses us… My fears began early in life. I was intensely afraid of death and being alone as a child. These fears were eased by my younger sister, Casey. We shared a bond so strong that every memory from my childhood includes Casey being right by my side. Casey was the kind of person who made all of life better… she could say more with her smile than most could say with several sentences. I will never forget the last time she flashed me that smile. On July 26th, 1987, in a brief moment a speeding car came over a hill and swiftly swept my sister and her bike away during a triathlon that we were participating in together. I can still hear the crashing sound as she slammed into the windshield of the speeding car… the smile that had always said so much just said “goodbye”. I knew that my entire life had completely changed. My greatest fear had just taken place before my eyes. Life had tossed me into the crashing waves of grief as I faced ‘life after death’ at 17. Casey was 15. In more recent years, I managed to find joy in being a mom while married to a man I adored. Life was good, at least on the surface and I was expecting my third child. But the memories of Casey lingered on, always reminding me of all I had lost… I lived as if I was waiting to die rather than dying to really live. On July 26th, 2003, the 16th anniversary of Casey’s death (and in many ways, my own), I was rushing around with my daughter MacKenzie in the back seat of the car, making arrangements for her first birthday party. This day always brought sadness and reflection. Where was my life headed?

Then my ultimate wakeup call came in the form of an enraged driver on a California freeway. Out of nowhere, a young man pulled abruptly into my lane and slammed on his brakes, leaving me nowhere to go. I attempted to steer around him, but instead clipped his bumper, sending my car out of control while he continued toward his intended destination… He just went on with his day. My day, my life, did not go on. My car flipped onto its top and slid to an abrupt stop. It was all I could do to fight to stay conscious and alive for MacKenzie, as well as to make sure the emergency personnel knew I was pregnant. My mission kept me alive and alert. While still in the emergency room, a woman came in with a basket of teddy bears, giving me two of them, one for MacKenzie and one for my unborn daughter. They wore t-shirts that exclaimed, “My name is Casey. It means brave and strong.” Only four days into my hospital stay, I was faced with the news that I was paralyzed. My choice to live was no longer just about me. I had to choose life if my unborn daughter was going to have a chance at life. All these years, I thought I would rather die than live without Casey. But the desire to live welled up within me. My choice to live was rewarded when my baby was born healthy. Life since my injury has not been easy, but I have been inspired to a new perspective. I lived in bondage of fear too long, worried what the next day would bring. Well, the next day has come… the edge of grief may have chosen me, but now I choose the edge. I will not be held in bondage any longer. I have been to the edge, fallen over the edge… and survived! With God beside me, I have tapped into strength I never knew I had. Trust your best and refuse to be paralyzed by fear. Tap into your strengths and be guided by your faith. Therein lies the great adventure of life. I live mine from this wheelchair. My son lives his from his boogie board. How will you live yours?”

About Kim... Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach, Speaker and three-time Author of global impact. She and her team at Kim Fletcher Associates are bringing true transformation to the personal and professional lives of their clients. Contact her directly to learn more about her newest release, The Tension Point: Breaking Through To Where You Want To Be. 828 327 6702 / email: kimfletchercoach@aol. com / web: kimfletcherassociates.com.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7


Walking and the

B

Unexpected enefit by Jessica

Everyone has their biggest accomplishment. Mine wasn’t planned but it has changed my life. I was once in an unhappy place in my life where I relied on food for comfort. I found myself eating and drinking more than my body could handle. I think it was more of a suppressant like a long term cough I couldn’t shake. Regardless of the issues I was internalizing, I put on weight faster than weeds grow in an abandoned field. It seemed like overnight but I know it was a slow process that I just couldn’t see. My family was concerned for my health and people treated me differently than others I socialized with. I was embarrassed of who I had become. The moment it all changed was when I started walking to clear my head. I found my comfort in throwing on my headphones and walking my neighborhood for a good hour. I had always known I needed to work out or head to the gym but no matter how much I knew that, it wasn’t going to happen without something triggering it. I had almost thought to myself, “This is who I am and how my body is going to be”. I thought there are so many heavy people out there and they have found happiness; why can’t I? I had no idea all that was going to change. I first noticed I felt better. Not soon after my appetite got smaller. I wasn’t dieting at all. I never thought of pills, diet, or a trainer. My mom took me to a buffet about 3 months after my workouts started and I stuffed my face like I used to. I didn’t make it out of the place before I

got sick. I knew then my body was changing. My sizes started dropping quickly and I soon became more involved and dedicated. I would get up before work to walk and sometimes after work too. I became more aware of what I was putting in my mouth along with noticing what everyone els e was putting in theirs. I’ll have to admit I got to a dangerous point. It’s like my comfort switched from food to my diet and workouts. I had an awakening, however, when I had felt guilty for eating unhealthy food at work. I made myself get sick in lieu of it. That was the only time that happened but it was a slap in the face. I needed to be careful of the harm I could be doing to my body. I had lost over 75lbs in less than a year. My hair had thinned and I had spent a fortune on new clothes. It was a short journey but it has changed me forever. My confidence for the most part is back. It has taken me a long time to see myself as beautiful again and worth the attention I was getting. I see a difference in the way people treat and respect me. When you no longer have to ask the store clerk “what size do you go up to?” before you start shopping you know things have drastically changed. I no longer have to look in the back of the clothes rack and hope they fit. I am now front and center with everyone else. The purpose of my story is to let women who might be struggling with weight, that diet pills, trainers, etc are not going to get you where you want to be; it’s YOU. No one can motivate you but yourself and when you find it in you it can turn out to be the best thing that has ever happened. Don’t settle for less especially when it comes to you. We are all beautiful no matter what our size but if you know you want change you’ll never get there by doing the same things you’re doing now. Beauty is on the inside but it starts with loving yourself for others to see it.

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Journaling The J urney by Judy Smith

“Every flower that blooms has to go through a whole lot of dirt” That is written on a calendar my daughter gave me last year. It is a simple sentence with a powerful punch and one that I have drawn a lot of strength from. We all have some dirt to go through ever so often. Mine for the past year has been cancer. What has yours been? Muhammad Ali said “Don’t count the days, make the days count”. Now than there’s some good advice. Sorry, I couldn’t resist using that southern phrase! Cancer made me more aware of that. Making the days count, not the southern slang, that is. Instead of just taking each day for granted, I pray I can face each new day looking for the flowers to burst through. I have absolutely zero gardening skills in my body and my thumbs do not have the slightest tint of green but I love flowers. Did you know that if you take a pack of seeds and just throw them out, you might just get some flowers? Even I can. Usually, I can do better that way then if I take the time to “work” the soil, place one little seed no deeper than 3 inches and then water as needed. You should see me rejoice when I do get a flower…even if it is just a dandelion. It all depends on how you look at it. So how do we act when we burst through the dirt? Do we grow and bring joy to others or do we complain about it being too bright? When we think about that little seed and all that dirt it has to go through it almost seems impossible that something beautiful might come out. I like to think of it as a miracle. Miracles happen every day whether we notice them or not. A friend of mine, whose cancer had reared it’s ugly head again, had some very disturbing news just the other day. Most medicines are ridiculously expensive (in my opinion) and cancer medicines are out the roof. Her one pill, she found out was going to cost over $7000 for a 30 day supply and insurance would not cover the most of it. That is just one of the medicines she will have to take. By the end of the day, she had pretty much determined she would not be taking that medicine,

even though she needed it. The next morning though, the whole situation changed and they found a loophole in her insurance. Even though she will have to pay more each month, she now will be able to handle the cost of this medicine. Keep in mind, this is the same insurance she has had for years. Now you might be thinking to yourself that I am really stretching it here to even hint that is was a miracle. But I really do think we just miss the amazing things that happen in our life without taking the time to give thanks for the miracles…..OK, blessings, if you don’t want to call it a miracle! Instead of focusing on the fact that her cancer is acting up, we are focusing on this amazing turn around. What other amazing things are going to happen? How I wish and pray for a cure for cancer as well as other devastating diseases. I wish every person who is faced with these kinds of obstacles in their life would have an amazing recovery. I know a lot of people who have not recovered yet and are really fighting some hard battles. Yet they are still counting their blessings while they are still fighting and I am so thankful for them. Will you pray for my friend Elaine and her battle. For my friend Jessica who is so beautiful, with or without her hair, who has very small children. For Gail, who will do everything in her power to “fight like a girl”, well, actually more like a bull fighter. For my friends Mae and Denise who are in limbo waiting to get some results. For all your friends and family that are going through something right now. The fact that you just take the time to pray and let them know you are there for them is a blessing. Then watch for the miracles.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

- Albert Einstein

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11


A girl’s Savvy day for a wish come true By Lee Sullivan, Lake Norman Citizen From one November to the next, the Sadoff family has many reasons to give thanks. After a 12-month trial of faith and endurance filled with devastation and anxiety linked to 8-year-old Allie Sadoff’s battle against a rare form of cancer, parents, grandparents and big brother J. gathered recently in a much happier setting. As special guests at Savvy Salon and Day Spa in Cornelius, the family members were on hand to watch as Allie, with a big, bright smile beaming as the best side effect imaginable, received an assortment of electronic equipment courtesy of Savvy’s Make-AWish Foundation project. The mother-daughter Savvy team of Pat Helmandollar and Lauren Springer choreographed the presentation and the family helped lure an unsuspecting Allie to the salon on West Catawba Avenue with the promise of a “mommy and me” spa package treatment. When other family members arrived, Allie began to suspect a surprise. And when balloons and colorfully wrapped packages, surrounded by the dozens of Savvy staff members who worked for months to make the presentation possible, greeted her inside, Allie’s smile, understandably absent for almost a year, lit up the room. In November 2011, Allie was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma, a soft-tissue muscle cancer, and a tumor was found in her left sinus area. While a student at Davidson Elementary School, Allie’s winter and spring were filled with nine months of chemotherapy at Brenner’s Children’s Hospital in Winston-Salem and a six-week session of proton radiation therapy at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.

According to her mom, Pam Sadoff, Allie has now completed her prescribed treatment regimen and has been given a good prognosis with all indications that the cancer has been eradicated. Allie’s blood count has stabilized to allow for more daily activities and her hair, stylishly tucked beneath a white cap boldly emblazoned with a beaded “A” at the Savvy ceremonies, is growing back. Now a third grader at Woodland Heights Elementary in Mooresville, Allie is regaining the strength and stamina zapped by chemotherapy, but Pam Sadoff said the recovery, including regular check-ups and MRI’s, is a long-range process. When coping with the bulk of her treatment, Allie’s wish was for equipment to allow her to write stories, create cards and stay in touch with friends. Savvy’s Make-A-Wish package of a computer, television, camcorder and other devices was fashioned with her wishes in mind. At the presentation, Pam Sadoff spoke for her daughter, thanking the group and providing a poignant reminder of the program’s value. “Just thinking about the gifts,” she said, “was such a positive distraction from the needles and the nausea.” Savvy staffers contributed in various ways, including providing volunteer treatment services to donors and participating in several “dress down days” at the salon and spa that allowed workers, in exchange for Make-A-Wish contributions, I wish to b to wear jeans on specific e … a Nav days instead of the usual workplace attire. y pilot. For the Make-A-Wish project, Savvy exceeded its $6,000 goal and is targeting the surplus toward a continuing campaign to raise money to help other children. Additional information is available at www.savvysalonanddayspa.com.

Help make wishes come true today by contacting Make-A-Wish® Central & Western North Carolina at 704-339-0334 or visit ncwish.org.

Upcoming Events The Wells Fargo Wish Ball Friday, February 1, 2013

Trailblaze Challenge Saturday, June 1, 2013

Enjoy an evening of music, dancing, an elegant four-course wine Take the opportunity to push your limits and truly challenge yourself. dinner featuring cuisine prepared by Del Frisco’s Executive Chef Grab your friends, family and co-workers and make a difference on Bob Kalish and wines selected by Director of Wine Jeffrey Sigala the inaugural Trailblaze Challenge. This unique hike expererience on with silent and live auctions and most importantly charitable the famed Bartram Trail is a 24.1 mile trek in 1 day and provides giving, raising more than two million dollars over the years participants an opportunity for adventure, fun and fitness while toward granting the wishes of children with life-threatening making a direct impact on children in our community battling medical conditions in our community. life-threatening medical conditions.

www.ncwishball.org pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013

www.trailblazechallenge.org


FlyLady THE

by Marla Cilley

Do You Hate Mornings? Do you hate your mornings? Do you wake up in a bad mood? Do you feel like you got up on the wrong side of the bed? Your mornings do not have to be like this. All it takes is a little thought to change the CHAOS you have been living in. That little thought is as simple as knowing what clothes you are wearing when you get up. If you will think about your morning before you actually have to face it; your mornings will run smoother. It all starts with a little before bed routine. Half the battle with your morning has to do with you not being prepared to start your day. You run around in a tizzy trying to do all those last minute things you procrastinated about the night before. Here is what happens when we put something off. Let’s start with our before bed routines: 1. We go to bed at 1:00 or 2:00 am and have to get up at 7:00 am. We procrastinated by not going to bed at a decent hour. Then we can’t get up on time. 2. After you hit the snooze button a few times and it is 7:30 am and to get to work on time we have to leave at 7:45 am. Now you have 15 minutes to get dressed and out the door and you have no clean clothes. 3. Not only did you go to bed late, but you did not lay out your clothes for tomorrow. So there again you have procrastinated and you are rushing around. 4. Now you are feeling the time crunch and the pressure of being late to work or an appointment again. Then the guilt starts to pile on. 5. With the guilt comes blaming others and not looking at what our role was in our perpetual tardiness. Then we have martyrdom and the loud yelling voices that just add to the stress along with the guilt. 6. Now we are half dressed, jumping in a car trying to put on makeup while driving and not paying attention to what we are doing. Not to mention that you have skipped breakfast and there is not even time for a quick drive through the golden arches. Well that could be the only positive thing about rushing; not time for negative nutrition with fast food. 7. Next thing we know the blue lights are flashing in our rearview mirror and we have yet another speeding ticket to have to explain and pay for. 8. That is, if we are lucky and we haven’t had a car accident with our babies in the car. 9. More money wasted all because we procrastinated and didn’t go to bed in a decent hour to get up and start our day on the right foot instead of behind the eight ball. Just writing this makes me nauseated. I could not live this way anymore. The constant surge of adrenalin is hard on our bodies. We have to find a

way to relieve the stress that our procrastination causes in our lives. Are you listening to me! Procrastination can kill us and maim our children. It can be a slow painful death of our bodies turning on us because of the constant surge of adrenalin with immune dysfunction or it can be a quick one with a car accident. You have a choice to stop this right now! If I can ever get you to make peace with your mornings by establishing a few simple habits in your life; you will never go back to living this way. The calmness of the mornings will start you out on a firm and steady pace for your whole day. Before you go to bed: 1. Gather up the items you will need for tomorrow and put them by your front door. 2. Check your calendar for tomorrow s appointments 3. Lay out your clothes for tomorrow 4. Brush and floss your teeth and wash your face. 5. Go to bed at a decent hour, this way you will feel like getting up! When you get up in the morning: 1. Get dressed as soon as your feet hit the floor 2. Swish and Swipe the bathroom while you are getting dressed. 3. Eat breakfast, drink water and take your supplements and medications 4. Gather up the items to take with you. 5. Do not wait till the last moment to leave your home. It is OK to be early. These simple habits will change your life. The main thing you have to do is go to bed at a decent hour so you will have the energy to get started on your day. You can do this. Are you ready to FLY though your day with a simple Before Bed Routine and Morning routine starting you off on a calm note?

For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Please bless others with your clutter by donating it to a Habitat for Humanity Restore near you. Copyright 2012 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13


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Taming The Evil Yes Monster by Gwen Smith

Today’s Truth

“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.” (Luke 10:38-39, NIV)

Friend To Friend

Have you ever bitten off more than you could chew? Have you ever said, “Sure, I’ll be glad to do that!” when you should have said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t commit to that right now”? Has an over-loaded schedule ever added stress to you, your family, or your relationships? I would think you’ve answered, “yes” to each of the previous questions. I know I did. I constantly try to make positive life adjustments. Two areas I evaluate regularly are my calendar and commitments. Trust me, I’m not the boundary queen. I won’t even pretend to have all the answers about this topic, because I don’t. I bow to the evil “yes monster” more than I care to admit. I’m in the trenches with you, constantly struggling to find a healthy balance between faith, family, friends, fashion, and ministry. (Okay, fashion doesn’t really belong on that list, though it’s terribly fun. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention!) Jesus had some friends named Mary and Martha. Martha was a busy girl who, at times, allowed her to-do list to keep her from worship. Mary just wanted to be with Jesus. “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.”(Luke 10:38-42, NIV) As we face the holiday season and a new year, let’s choose what’s better! It’s so important that we establish healthy boundaries in our lives to keep us from being too busy to sit at the Lord’s feet. Over the years, I’ve been forced to grow in the area of setting boundaries in order to bless and preserve my faith, family, friendships and ministry. In an article called Setting Boundaries, Dr. Richard J. Krejcir wrote, “A boundary is a fence to ward off potential problems and to protect those in its guardianship.” What does that look like in real life? How can we possibly spend time with the Lord, keep our homes clean, run errands, go to meetings, serve on committees, change diapers, shower, get our Bible study assignment finished, find missing teddy bears, take Johnny to little

league, run Sally to dance practice, and have a hot, healthy dinner on the table by six o’clock? I’m sure it will look different for each of us, but there’s one basic parameter that applies across the board, whether you are married, divorced, single, or widowed, or with or without children: make time for God. Jesus said that the highest call on your life is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37). Keep the main thing the main thing! Nothing should replace your personal time with God. Set aside time each day for Bible study, prayer, and worship. Jesus tells us that we must remain in Him. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). And one additional thought: protect your passions. What do you love to do? Is there time in your life for it? Make it a priority. Allow yourself time to refuel and relax by scheduling fun time. Whether it’s taking a hike in the woods, playing the piano, having lunch with a girlfriend, reading a book, or bargain shopping, keep your heart fed with fun. You’ll be a better you for it! Once you’ve established faith boundaries that prioritize and protect your time with Jesus, you can freely say, “yes” to the opportunities that are in line with your passion and interests. You can also say “no” to the yes monster that tries to rob you of God’s best and to dilute your focus.

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, please forgive me for the times when I clutter my life with busyness and fail to put You first. Help me to discern what is best for my schedule according to Your perfect will, and equip me with the wisdom and courage to make any changes that are needed. I love You and long to know you more with all my heart, mind, and soul. In Jesus’s name, amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Do you relate more with Mary or Martha? Why? Are you saying yes to too many things? Protect you and your loved ones from the evil yes monster. Take a few moments to consider if any of your activities could be eliminated.

More From The Girlfriends

Friend, don’t be discouraged if your calendar seems off-the-charts crazy. I know what that’s like. This devotion wasn’t written to condemn, only to challenge. Let’s choose the best together and clear a space everyday to sit and worship at the feet of Jesus. “Uncluttered” is a CD filled with songs that sweep you away from excess ‘lifenoise’, this music focuses your heart and mind on the one thing that matters: your relationship with Jesus Christ.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15


Core Strengthening Exercises 1. Exercise Number One- Oblique Leg Extensions This exercise not only works your oblique, but should also engage your piriformis and hip flexor muscles as well.

by Sharon Rashidi B.S. Health Education

Step One- Lay on your left side, left knee bent to about 90 degrees and left arm wrapped across your stomach. Place your right hand behind your neck and lift your right leg off the ground keeping it full extended.

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Strengthen Your Core and Get Lean in 2013! In all my exercise classes, I emphasize the requirement to keep the core tight. Sometimes I rephrase it by saying, “engage your powerhouse” or “pull your powerhouse in.” The core words aren’t just a phrase I throw in when describing an exercise. It’s necessary because the core braces the spine for movement. You want the spine braced by a solid core for even the simplest of movements to ensure it’s safety. Why is it called the core anyway? The body’s core is labeled such because it is the body’s center of gravity and the beginning of all movement. Yes, “all movement.” A weak core means a weak body. If the core muscles are weak, your body doesn’t work as effectively, and other muscles have to pick up the slack. This can result in injuries such as a twisted knee, a pulled shoulder or the common “bad back.” To build a strong core you need to exercise a variety of muscles from your hips to your shoulders. Most people think of the core as a nice six-pack, or strong, toned abs, but the truth is that the abdominal muscles are a very small part of the core. The core actually consists of muscles that stabilize the spine and pelvis, and run the entire length of the trunk and torso. This includes abdomen, sides of the abdomen, and muscles in the upper back, lower back, hips, and glutes. Core conditioning exercise programs need to target all these muscle groups to be effective. In order to learn how to keep your core tight, you first must be able to engage it. Lay down on a flat surface and bend your knees and hips. Make sure that your shoulders are relaxed and concentrate on breathing into the sides of your rib cage to take emphasis off the diaphragm. Next, take a deep breath in and on exhalation focus trying to lower your belly button down towards the floor. This is what I mean when I say, “pull your powerhouse in.” Move your hands in an inch towards your belly button and down and inch towards your toes. You should now be directly over the transverses abdominal muscle. When you feel this muscle contract, all the other core muscles will be contracting as well. This includes abdominal muscles as well as the muscles in your pelvic floor in order to give you stability in your upper and lower back, hips and glutes. So pull in that powerhouse and follow my simple core strengthening exercises for a stronger, leaner you in 2013!

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013

Step Two – Crunch your right knee up to the inside of your right elbow until your left shoulder rises up off the floor. Repeat 6-8 times and work your way up to 10. Change sides and repeat exercise.

Tips- Don’t let your leg touch the ground, and when the leg is fully extended your butt should be tightly squeezed rotating your leg out ever so slightly (this is the piriformis part).

2. Exercise Number Two- Supine Bridge Leg Marching This is a great exercise to help strengthen your glutes, hips, hamstrings, and lower back. It requires one leg to be lifted so it is very effective for strengthening the abdominal and core region. Step One- Lie on your back with your hips and knees bent to 90 degrees with your feet flat on the floor. Place your arms at your sides with palms facing down. Engage your core by pulling in your “powerhouse.” Raise your hips off the floor by using your glutes and hamstring muscles until your torso is in line with your thighs. Step Two- Alternate raising your right leg followed by your left leg off the floor as if you were marching. Repeat for 10-12 repetitions. Tips- Remember to keep your core engaged throughout the exercise and focus on maintaining proper body alignment.


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Vacation

or Nightmare?

By Karen Tonks

In May 2011, I was asked by a close friend if I wanted to accompany her on a week’s vacation to Grand Cayman. She said that I would make a great beach buddy as her cousin who lives on the Island is a Partner in a very successful law firm and wouldn’t be able to get away from her job often during the day. She did not ask me if I wanted to go on a vacation but may not ever see my family again. So of course, I would go - it would have been rude not to! Sure I’d miss my husband and 2 boys but mummy needs a break sometimes too. We had a fabulous time. We spent the first 4 days at the beach then the next 3 sightseeing. My hosts have a couple of boats, so we went out on them and I even fed Sting Ray’s in the ocean. With pure white beaches, crystal clear water and perfect weather, this tiny island has a lot to offer. The Island is approximately 22 miles long, with the widest part at 8 miles and the narrowest part at ½ a mile. All too quickly the vacation came to an end and we were once again back at the airport to return to the US. At check in, the girl behind the desk asked me for my “green card” to go with my British passport. Although I have been in the States for almost 10 years, I have yet to become a Citizen. The only difference with having Permanent Resident status versus Citizenship is that I can’t vote or run for President. I fished into my purse, then into my wallet and was surprised to come away empty handed. The flight attendant was now advising me that they were unable to let me board the flight without it and she called the Immigration Department to confirm that fact. Panic started to build as I couldn’t remember seeing the card with me this whole vacation. Did I even bring it? If I had, then is it lost on the Island somewhere or at CLT airport? Since the Cayman Islands are governed by the UK, it was OK for me to just have a British passport to come onto the Island, but not enough to get me back into the States. I called my husband in a flood of tears, asking him to go check in the safe and make sure the card was actually there. “Can’t” he said. “I’m at the baseball field. Let me get home and check.” So while I was waiting on him to call me back, I was hugging my friend goodbye as she went through departures to get the flight I should have been on with her. Her cousin Laura was amazing. She told me that it was perfectly OK for me to stay with them until I could get my card sent via FedEx on Monday and be on a flight on Tuesday. Then my husband called back….. No card!!! Gone, lost, stolen, disappeared or just vaporized?? Didn’t matter. I would not be allowed on a flight back into the USA until I had one. I can’t get home and I can’t get back to my children! Alan searched the house over. Once, twice and a third time. I even asked a friend to go and help check the house because I know what a “man search” is like and if it doesn’t jump out at them, they won’t find it!! But no, it was not to be found. I thought I would be able to get assistance from the US consulate department, but because I wasn’t a Citizen, they were unable to help

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013

on this occasion. I then tried the Governor’s Office as I hold a British passport. Surely they can do something to help? Wrong again. They couldn’t help because I was a Permanent Resident of the USA. I seemed to have found a crack in the system and just fell through it. So, I sucked up the tears, stopped feeling sorry for myself and planned my next move. Through the US Consulate, I found out that I needed to obtain a document called “A Letter of Transportation” that would allow me onto a flight and through Customs at the other side. I went on the Immigration and Customs Enforcement website to find out what to do to get this letter. Step 1 was to obtain a police report and apply for a new Permanent Resident Card. Step 2 was to fill out required paperwork and send it to the US Embassy in Jamaica, where they would check everything was legitimate and then grant me an interview so I could prove I was who I said I was. The website said it would take approximately 7-10 business days. Oh no! I so badly just wanted to see and hold my kids and husband. And what about my job? Would I still have one? I kept in constant contact with my work and updated them as to how things were progressing. I was extremely fortunate that the Company Owner was very understanding and said my job would still be there when I got back. I was able to see and speak to my children and husband on Skype, so I just had to hold it together for a few more days. I could do this…..I could do this….. But the days were passing and there was no word from I.C.E... Every day I’d wake up and say, “Today’s the day I’ll get the call” and it never was. Seven to ten days became eleven to twenty days and I was really missing my family. My children, aged 3 and 7 at the time, couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get back home. My youngest was traumatized, thinking I was being held captive at one point. I had to walk about with the laptop to show him I could get outside – but then that upset him even more because if I could get outside, why couldn’t I run away and come home to give him hugs? He would cry at the day care often. One day a little girl in his room was sick so she lay down on the big cushion until her mother came and picked her up. I was told by his teacher that shortly after the little girl had gone home; Evan went and lay down on the cushion. When asked if he was ok, he said that if he laid here too and waited long enough, maybe his Mummy would come through the door to pick him up. My husband looked more worn out, sad, tired and stressed with each conversation on Skype. He was beginning to get an appreciation for single parenting! I think it was around the 3 week mark that I finally got to speak with someone at I.C.E. in Jamaica. It had been very frustrating because they would not usually answer the phone and they wouldn’t give me any information via email each time I had asked for an update. All they would say was “you will be given information regarding an interview within 7-10 business days after receipt of your original emailed application”. The 7-10 days didn’t start from when you emailed the application, but from when they say they get the application. Obviously a different thing! It took them 5 days alone just to acknowledge they’d received my application!! Then I found out they only offer interviews on Mondays and Thursdays and that they telephone you the day before the appointment with a time that you have to be at the US Embassy in Jamaica! My hosts were fantastic. All this time, 3 weeks by now, they made me feel at home in their house, at their table and into their lives. I owe them a debt I can never repay. I weeded their garden, I power-washed/ re-stained their deck and I painted inside. I had to keep busy to keep sane and I had to try and give something back for their kindness and generosity. I finally got an appointment on June 20th. I would be starting my journey home at last. I decided that I’d go back to the beach that last day for a couple of hours. I hadn’t set foot on the beach since the first week. I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything like that while I was there stranded. So many people joked and said “there are worse places to get stuck” but it could have been Western Siberia in the middle of winter for


where I was. Bursting into tears, I ran down the steps to my family and wrapped them in my arms. It was like a scene from the film Love Actually. We were all crying and some spectators’ started crying too but it was the best feeling in the world. It was a huge mental ordeal that we’d all had to deal with. It made me appreciate my family even more and realize what’s important in my life. I thought long and hard for the next year about which direction my life was going and I came to the conclusion that time is our most precious commodity and is very limited. I then made the choice to leave my full time job and start my own concierge & errand business -Time Genies – so I could spend more of it with my family and help others to do the same. My friends have often heard me say “What’s for me won’t go past me” which allows me to turn negatives into positives. I now have a new family in the Grand Cayman, my husband has a greater appreciation for all I do and I realized that life it too short to sweat it on the small stuff. I’m making memories every day! Oh and yes, in case you were wondering….. I did find my green card. But don’t ask!!!

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all I cared. I couldn’t get home to my children and I didn’t know when I could. That to a parent is the worst feeling in the world. I just stayed busy each day to get through the nightmare I was in. I booked my flight to Jamaica for that next morning. I got to the airport early and went to check in, but they wouldn’t let me on the flight. What now?!? Apparently, I had to have a flight pre-booked back out the country before they’d let me in! The appointment at the US Embassy in Kingston was just 3 hrs prior to the flight time that left that day for the US. I didn’t know if I should book a hotel for the night just in case I needed it. After all I’d been through and how desperate I was to get home, I booked the same day flight out and crossed my fingers. I’m so glad I did! I don’t think I could have stayed in Kingston overnight. I have NEVER been so scared in my life. I can pretty much handle most situations life can throw at me, but I was totally unprepared for this. Arrangements were made for an escort to get me from the airport to the Embassy in Kingston. Alarm bells stated ringing. I’m glad they did as I don’t know what I’d have done if I hadn’t had someone there to help me. As we drove through the most violent area on the Island, I just shrunk back in my seat and started shaking. This was NOTHING like the vacation destinations you see on the advertisements. There were many locals hanging around, standing directly across the road from the Embassy. The guards outside said I couldn’t enter the Embassy until 5 minutes prior to my scheduled appointment time. Having over 2.5 hrs to wait, my escort asked if I wanted to wait in a bar, so I said I had some Cayman and American money that could be exchanged into Jamaican dollars to buy a couple of drinks. I was to wait in the car with the windows up, the doors locked and not to look or talk to anyone. I would be safe because he’d stand half in the gas station and half out, keeping an eye on me at all times. He said he wouldn’t let anything happen to me! Hearing that actually made me more nervous, but I did exactly as I was told! There was no air conditioning in the car and it was 100 degrees outside, so it must have been 120 inside, but there was no way I was opening a window. Then I glanced over to his side of the car and I saw a brown paper bag, with a machete inside in his door!!! He got back in the car and I said I feel safe going to a bar, so I asked if there was somewhere else. We drove just down the road to an American fast food restaurant which was gated and had an armed guard. Time eventually came for my appointment and he walked me to the Embassy door. My escort was under no obligation but thankfully said he’d wait on me and take me back to the airport. I sat in the Embassy for what seemed like hours, watching the minutes tick by and it get closer to my flight time. I was finally taken to an interview room and asked routine questions and then I was given 2 envelopes that contained the all important Letters of Transportation. I was going home! One letter was to be given to the airline desk in Jamaica and the other at Customs in the US. After all that, I wasn’t the least bit surprised that my flight ended up being delayed by 3 hrs, but I was finally on my way to Miami to catch my connection to Charlotte. At customs in Miami, I thought I just had to hand over the letter and I’d be on my way. NOPE! I was told to place myself against a wall and wait for someone to come and get me. A flashing light went off and I was stared at by hundreds of people trying to get through an extremely busy Customs Department. No doubt imagining all sorts of possible reasons as to what I’d done wrong. I was placed in a line with 30 or so other people and told to wait on my name to be called. Once called for, I was then taken to another room with around 100 people in it and was told to sit down and wait for Homeland Security to shout my name. The hour I had to wait took forever and I was beginning to think I’d miss my connecting flight to Charlotte. I finally got my chance to explain my situation and was given permission to proceed to my final destination. The agent said that I’d been introduced well and truly to “Caribbean Time”. Ain’t that the truth! Five weeks and 3 days after I’d begun my journey, I finally landed at CLT airport around 2am. Coming down the escalator to baggage claim, before I even saw him, I heard my youngest son wailing and asking

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TRUTH

& BEAUTY by Teresa Pope, Esthetician

Question: I would like to have cosmetic surgery to remove the drooping skin from my eyelids. The problem is, “I just can’t afford it”! Is there anything I can do to help my eyes look younger and less droopy? Answer: There are several tricks you can try that will definitely help your eyes look younger, just be aware that nothing will give the results of a Blepharoplasty, more commonly referred to as an eyelid lift. Trick 1: A defined eyebrow: Brows that are full with defined edges (no strays here, there or everywhere) Brows should be waxed or tweezed to give a defined edge. Then use a pencil that matches brow color to fill in where brows may be sparse. Use brow gel or wax to seal the shape. You can also use hair spray applied to a brow brush then brush into place. Trick 2: Long Lashes: Use several coats of mascara. Apply from the very bottom of lash line. Many women apply mascara only to the top half of the lashes. However, if you will wiggle and roll your mascara wand to reach all the way to the bottom, it will make lashes look much thicker and longer. If your lashes are too skinny and sparse than you may want to use a topical lash enhancer such as Latesse. Only use mascara on the upper lashes and do not apply any to the bottom lashes. Doing so will only drag the eye down. Trick 3: Use hi-lighter: A shimmer of light on the highest part of the eye will make the eye appear “more open”. Just use hi-lighter under the brow from arch to the end of the tail and blend. Apply a little before your eye shadow and a little more after to enhance the look. Trick 4: Use eye shadow: Using shadow to create a more defined crease will make eyes look more youthful. Just use a darker shade than your lid color and that should do the trick. The placement of the darker shadow is very important. You want to create a crease where it used to be before the drooping. This may take some practice, but once you have the placement, it will be easy. Trick 5: Wear Bangs: Wearing a long fringy bang will help hide some droopiness, and bangs generally look good on all face shapes. You and your stylist can decide what bang type works best for you. These simple tricks should help you look bright eyed and youthful until you are able to seek a more permanent solution.

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013


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The Unwelcome Visitor: Excessive Menstruation By: Mary E. Torres, MD FACOG Piedmont HealthCare Gynecologist/Obstetrician

Some things can be a welcome arrival each month like your favorite magazine. Some things can even be a joy when they come twice a month like your paycheck, but other things are not quite so welcome, like a very heavy and sometimes crampy menstrual period. You have completed your family and possibly even had a permanent sterilization procedure like a tubal ligation or your partner’s vasectomy, but yet you have to endure a very unpleasant week each month during your menstruation; that involves one-quarter of your life! For some women, their period is not a large inconvenience, but for others, it can greatly decrease their quality of life with pain and such a heavy flow that they develop anemia (low blood count) or are hesitant to leave the house and sometimes miss work and other activities. Some find that they do well on hormones like birth control pills to control their menses, but do not like to be on hormone therapy for long term treatment. For older women, especially those who choose to smoke, there are definite health concerns about using hormones such as increased risk for stroke and pulmonary embolism (blood clot to the lung). If a woman has completed her family and has no plans for future pregnancy, a procedure known as ‘Endometrial Ablation’ may be a solution to the problem of excessive menstruation. This procedure is a minor procedure due to recent advances in the instruments used for this out-patient surgery. Endometrial ablation is the destruction of the lining of the uterus, the tissue that is normally shed off each cycle with menstruation. This can be performed with heat, cold, electric current, microwave, or radiofrequency energy. After the lining is destroyed, healing causes scarring that should give a permanent result. There is very little recovery time with most patients reporting only cramping that is similar to their menstrual cramps. A watery vaginal discharge, sometimes mixed with blood, is present for the first two weeks of healing. Most patients can return to work the next day. Although the procedure is fairly simple, as with all surgical procedures, there are risks involved. Although they are rare, the most common complications are uterine perforation (puncturing a hole in the uterus), bleeding or infection, damage to nearby organs, or anesthesia complications. Your provider needs to perform an examination to see if you have any issues that might make you a poor candidate for endometrial ablation such as large uterine fibroids or endometrial cancer. You may need procedures prior to scheduling an ablation such as a pelvic ultrasound to evaluate the uterine anatomy or an endometrial biopsy to rule out cancer of the uterus. It is important that there is no desire for future pregnancies as the lining of the uterus, the endometrium, is the tissue that the embryo implants into at the start of pregnancy. Once that tissue is destroyed with the ablation procedure, it cannot be repaired, making any pregnancies at very high-risk for miscarriage or complications. It is important to realize that endometrial ablation is not a birth control method and it is occasionally paired with a sterilization procedure if the patient has not already had a permanent sterilization procedure or other reliable birth control. If you are one of the estimated 10 million women who experience excessive menstruation, endometrial ablation might give you a non-hormonal option to relieve this monthly problem. Schedule an appointment with your OB/GYN to see if you are a candidate for this out-patient procedure.

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013

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A Sophisticated Woman... By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

Sets Standards

As I came down the stairs in my new dress, high heels, coiffed hair and donning my new freshwater pearls, my daughter asked incredulously, “Where are you going?” At first, I was delighted that she admired my look. However, there was something about her surprise and demonstrative praise that made me think that perhaps my efforts to be at my best were rare. Granted, I was headed out to a special event but isn’t each day a choice to make special? In reality, it didn’t really require that much energy, time or resources to present my best self. I did a little planning. Invested some time. Expended energy. And the result was delight. This reality check pushed me to think about how I show up everyday. I am not just talking about how I show up only physically but in every aspect of my life. Perhaps some new standards are called for in 2013? According to the online business dictionary, standards are a “written definition, limit or rule, approved and monitored for compliance”. A first impression may be that standards feel heavy, hard or imposing. However, if I look at standards from a different perspective I can see that standards are structures that create positive outcomes. Standards turn possibilities into probabilities. Consider the standards of customer service in the business world. If a client is treated well, they become loyal and invest their resources. The result of excellent customer service standards is a rich and rewarding relationship. Truth be told, I need my own personal set of standards so that I can build rich and rewarding relationships. An important and often neglected relationship that needs my attention is the one I develop with my self. Taking care of myself is imperative. If I am loyal to my self and invest some resources in my own life, then and only then can I show up for my creator, my family, my friends, and work at full capacity. I know I have the capacity to do more. I would hate to think I have reached my full potential. Physically, I have energy to expend. Intellectually, I have a lot to learn. Emotionally, I have love to give. Spiritually, I have hope to share. And so do you. Let’s set some standards for the New Year. They will give us the structure and sure footing to carry us through the year ahead. We can make up our minds and consider our standards non-negotiable. These are ways we will be in the world that communicate to the world and most importantly to ourselves who we are.

Three Reasons to Set Some Standards for 2013 Standards build confidence. Master Coach Dan Sullivan teaches that to be confident we must take stock of what behaviors build our self-esteem. When we feel good in our own skin, we can stop to notice what we’ve done to structure or edify that feeling. Did we prepare? Did we exercise? Did we dress up, do our hair, and put our makeup on? Dan encourages us to write down on an index card all our behaviors that serve us. In the process, we’ll create intrinsic motivation that emulates from the inside out.

Standards create movement. When we choose rules that define how we will live, we have freedom. We become unstuck! When we lower our standards inevitably bad feelings, unhealthy bodies, and frustration imprison us. Let’s choose standards that free us up. Standards create movement…significant movement. Standards create you. Standards define who we are. When we clearly articulate our standards, we instill points of accountability in our lives. We can share these standards with a confidante, counselor or coach who will help us monitor our integrity. Declaring that we exercise creates athletes. Declaring we eat healthy creates wellness. Declaring that we will go back to school creates students. Use these powerful questions to set your standards: 1. How would I define a vibrant life? 2. What standards of living does this vibrant life require? 3. If I lived this vibrant life, I would be a sophisticated woman who _________________________. (Develop your ‘I am one who’ statements. e.g. I am one who does yoga daily. I am one who eats healthy.) 4. How will your life be better, different, or inspired on December 31, 2013 if I live this vibrant life?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to manifest the glory of God within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own life shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23


The Universe Wants To Be Noticed

Cheyne Campbell, a tenth grader, organized a teen art exhibit at the Mooresville Artist Guild Depot Visual Arts Center in historic downtown Mooresville for the month of January. The exhibit is titled THE UNIVERSE WANTS TO BE NOTICED. The exhibit features art created by Lake Norman/ Iredell County teens. All of the art is for sale with 50% of the sale price donated to the renovation of the

historic Depot. The exhibit is on display at the Depot Tuesday thru Saturday 11 a.m. – 4 p.m. A public reception for the artists and friends will be held January 11 from 6 p.m. 8 p.m. Each of the teen artists in the exhibit were given the opportunity to create art in the medium of choice. Cheyne is a sophomore at South Iredell High School and a member of the IB program. As part of her school’s personal project program, Cheyne created the idea of a teen exhibit to help with the Mooresville Art Guild’s renovation of the Depot and to give other teen artists an opportunity to display and sell their art. Cheyne is studying art with Courtney Coady at South Iredell and with Shelly Zulli of Mooresville. As part of her project Cheyne has contacted art instructors and students to participate in the exhibit. Cheyne is the daughter of Theodore and Michelle Campbell of Mooresville.

Today I Cried

Written by Patricia Wilson

Today I Cried

Letting go of something old ; Creating something new.

Today I Cried

Expressing all the grief inside; A loved one is gone.

Today I Cried

For both of us; Hard to believe the chapters have ended in this book.

Today I Cried

Deep inside to release each chapter into the Master’s hand.

Today I Cried

Tears of joy, Knowing that even when the old chapters of the book is finished; The Master has created, a Best Selling Novel in me. ll Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; behold all things become new.

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013


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Who is in the room with you? I regularly participate in a fascinating forum designed to provoke thought in a variety of areas. At a recent forum, one particular question was very powerful for me, inspiring this column. The question was, “Who is in the room with you?” Interestingly, my initial gut reaction when the facilitator asked this question was my grandmother, because of the incredible influence she has had on me in how I am and who I strive to be. She is always with me. But when it came time for me to share, I determined the facilitator was asking literally and so I answered, “Thought leaders and thought provokers.” However, much to my surprise and delight, my gut reaction was actually what the facilitator was seeking. The point being made is that wherever we go and in whatever we do, there are people we carry subconsciously with us either in a positive empowering way or in a deflating, inhibiting way. Many times, the voices speaking to you are actually the influences of these people directly impacting everything from how you react to a particular situation to decisions you make. So, who is in the room with you? Who is welcome in your room? Having that “angel on your shoulder” who you carry in your heart gives you confidence, solace and so many other positive feelings. Knowing who those special influences are in your life and embracing their presence within you can supercharge whatever you endeavor to do. Here are some potential angels you may have or can identify to keep with you as your ever-present source of support. Energizer: There are people that just naturally bring an uplifting feeling just at the very thought of them, let alone when they are physically around. For me, my energizers include everyone from inspirational authors to positive role models, both living and deceased. Whenever I need that little extra “umph,” I think of what they might say or have said to keep me positively and powerfully focused on what I have set out to do. Cheerleader: Believing in oneself creates your own central core of confidence that can cheer you on when times get tough. But we all have someone special from our present or even our past who was our ultimate cheerleader, believing in whatever we are doing. For me, my grandmother’s spirit lives on as my ultimate cheerleader, with my sister and numerous friends close by as well. Authenticator: No matter how confident we may be, there are times of doubt, especially when stepping out of our comfort zone as we challenge ourselves to grow and learn new things. Being true to who you are and what you stand for always makes risks a bit easier, especially when there is someone or a support network of people who share these same beliefs and values. Who do you need to excuse from the room?

We’ve all seen the scenario where there is the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other trying to convince someone to do exactly the opposite thing. I equate the devil on your shoulder to those inside your head, bringing you uneasy or questioning feelings. Even when someone is not physically present, they can be emotionally present in you, affecting you in negative ways. Here are some possible devils on your shoulder who you may need to excuse and usher out once and for all. The Drainer: The saying that he or she “sucked the energy right out of me” is not too far from the truth with some people. They are exhausting to be around and they continue to drain and exhaust long after they are no longer in one’s presence. Their real power comes when they are no longer physically around, and yet still consume your thoughts and energy, hindering what you want to do or are trying to focus on doing. Don’t give them that power. The Nay-sayer: Whether it is negating your abilities or negating any given situation, we all know at least one person who jumps to pessimism over optimism. Whenever doubt creeps into your mind about your own abilities, taking that next big step in a project at work or with something in your life, take a moment to consider intently why the doubt is stemming in the first place. Are you actually having doubts because of something someone said in your past or present? Let your voice and belief in yourself shine through and only pause if your own common sense is telling you to do so. Goal Imposer: Pressures at home and at work can sometimes create frustration and paralysis simply because we feel like we are “doing” for everyone else, excluding ourselves in the process. Whenever you are doing something that you are dreading or feeling irritated by doing, ask yourself who is making you feel this must be done and why? Who has imposed this responsibility and obligation and do you have options, including handing it back? As you embrace this New Year, take to heart how those both living and who have passed on can continually influence you in your actions and thinking. If you find you have more “devils on your shoulder” than angels with wind beneath your wings, then seek out inspiration, role models and sources who can replace them in your life, in your head and in your heart. The freedom to be you, authentically you, will be more liberating than words can possibly describe here, all because you only allow certain people to get into your head, with you being the leader and orchestrator of your own thoughts. Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must reads.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27


Dinner Diva

The

By Leanne Ely CNC

Making Dinner Time Family Time I can’t tell you how passionately I feel about families sitting own and eating meals together. Nothing is quite as satisfying and fulfilling as preparing a nutritious meal for your loved ones and sitting around the table together to enjoy it as a family unit. I don’t care if it’s fruit and yogurt for breakfast or roast chicken for supper, as long as you make an effort to sit down and eat as many meals as you can together. It’s a perfect way for everyone to connect with one another, and it provides a feeling of comfort and security for your children. When my kids were little, eating at the table was not optional. I planned the meals, they would help me prepare dinner and then we would sit down together and eat. I believe that we’re as close as we are partly because I made family dinner time a priority in our lives. They knew they could talk about what was going on in their lives anytime, but dinner time was just the natural time to connect. I wouldn’t trade those minutes together for anything. So how do you get everyone around the table together if you haven’t made a big deal of it before? Lay down the law. You’re the boss, so make the rule. No meals in front of the TV. Period. Involve everyone. Giving everyone mealtime chores will give you a hand, and it will make your kids feel more involved in the process, making it more likely that they’ll be keen to sit down and

pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013

eat with you. Start at the grocery store by letting the kids decide which vegetables to buy. Explain the difference between organic foods and conventionally grown foods. Really start to provide your kids with an education about where their food comes from. Then, at home, depending on the ages of your children, you can have them do all kinds of things from washing and/or peeling vegetables to stirring sauces and setting the table. Trust me, they’ll be much more anxious to help prep than they will be to clean up, so perhaps you could start there! Make it fun. It will be easier to get the kids to the table with you if you serve food they like. That’s a no-brainer. Give everyone a couple of options for dinner and hold a family vote over what gets served; majority rules! If it’s pizza night, let everyone make their own individual pie. Fajita night? Put all the toppings on the table and let everyone have at it. Veggies and roast meat? Instead of putting the food on their plates in the kitchen, bring everything to the table and let them serve themselves. Sounds crazy, but kids are more likely to eat food they put on their plates themselves. What tips do you have to share with us about getting your family to the table together?

Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com


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nother AYear

I don’t know about you, but 2012 was not my favorite year. Losing a beloved pet, knee surgery, bombardment by politics, and friends with health and other issues were a lot to handle. Yet, so many good things appeared in a “less than stellar” time. My husband really stepped up to the responsibility of taking care of me during a long recuperation period, lovingly and with a smile! Wow! Who knew I was so lucky! Also friends showed up at just the right time with a call, card, meal, and a hug. I studied and passed the exams for Green Leader AP during the time spent off my feet. Plus, I learned by experience how a person in a wheel chair or on crutches moves through a space. Best of all, I still have the ability to laugh, love, breathe; and I know that I am a child of God. As 2013 is finally here, we all get the chance to evaluate our selves and environment. We can make changes to enrich our lives and make them more beautiful, efficient, and make a difference in our world. Whether we jump in full steam or take baby steps, we can all pitch in and make this a better place for both us and the generations to come. Last year, my major resolution was to be less wasteful. I bought no new clothes for seven months (the goal was a year, but I am human!) This sounds simple to some of you, but is difficult for a fashionista who remembers every main event in life by what I wore. Some items, I designed and Mom made; others were store bought treasures. This exercise taught me that I don’t have to have so many things to be happy. Also, it is fun to create new looks by mixing your wardrobe in new ways. Another change I made last year was to not use so many bottled waters. Americans use over 22 billion plastic bottles a year, and I was contributing to this madness! This venture was successful until going on crutches in late October. Everything I transported had to fit into a pocket or a bag around my neck. The water bottle goal is an area that I need to improve. A new goal is to promote good health and safety. Even though I garden, eat fairly healthy, and exercise; I need to think past me. The goal for this year is to focus on promoting better health for my clients. I currently specify low VOC (volatile organic compounds, or toxins) paint, but I have learned that there are no VOC paints now available. They may not be suitable for every job, but it is my responsibility to research the product and at least offer the option to customers. More and more consumers either have asthma or have family members who suffer. One of the reasons is that we have made our homes more efficient. As a result, the formaldehyde and other chemicals that off-gas from our furnishings are trapped inside. I hope to build an arsenal of products that are environmentally- friendly that protect both our health and the environment. Finally, it is now time to step up and become a leader in my profession. In October, I will become the president of ASID Carolinas (American Society of Interior Designers). It will not be just about me and my clients any more. It will be a learning experience and a chance to represent designers from college age to retirement all across North and South Carolina. Some years, you can float through the motions and coast on things you’ve learned and done before. As one former pastor said “in a flock of geese, one leads the formation until he (or she) gets tired. They then fly to the back to rest and another goose take the lead.” We all have to rest at times. This is not that year. It is time to give our new goals and those from last year another try! Happy New Year and hope 2013 is the best ever!

by Susan Guest, ASID

To Get It Right

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31


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Food for the Body

Taco Dip

… Its attractive presentation. Hmmm, this term could also describe several facets of the American church. For example, the USA contains many extravagantly beautiful church buildings. Both the exteriors and interiors often display the finest of materials. Visually pleasing and physically comfortable, many houses of worship lack for nothing. Or do they? Truth be told, the church is comprised of God’s people—not the four walls of a building. So the question is: do Christians themselves offer an attractive presentation? I’m blessed to have a friend who definitely fits this description. Joy radiates from within her and a smile seems to permanently shape her lips. Unashamedly she loves to talk about the Lord and what He’s doing in her life. Humble yet confident in Christ, she freely tells acquaintances and strangers how Jesus is “the way, and the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). My friend shines as someone whose faith in and love for Christ have positively impacted her daily life.

On a large plate, layer the ingredients as follows:

What about us? For those of us who are Christians, do our lives present Christianity in an attractive light? Or, do we wear our burdens in the slump of our shoulders and the long look on our face? Do we snap at slow cashiers or rant about irritating drivers? Oh my. Do we practice what we preach? It really makes a difference, because people are watching. If Christians themselves don’t display the love, joy, and peace God provides, why in the world would others want what we have? We, who bear the name of Christ, have been entrusted by God to represent Him well for His glory and purposes.

1. Refried beans 2. Guacamole* 3. Mixture of sour cream, mayo, and taco seasoning 4. Cheese 5. Tomatoes

Galatians 5:22-23 states, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control …” When we possess these qualities on the inside, they’ll assuredly spill out. Others will see the marvelous work Christ has done within us and will more likely be attracted to try Christianity for themselves.

*Guacamole – Peel and mash avocados with a fork; add 2 tsp. lemon juice, salt, and pepper to taste.

Graciously God has brought us into a new year. 2013 looms ahead full of opportunities to honor God. Perhaps we Christians can set a goal of looking more attractive this year—not in a worldly, superficial sense, but in the spiritual, Christ-like sense. Knowing the Lord and being known by Him is a blessing beyond words. People should be able to look and see that we possess something special … or rather, Someone special—the Lord Jesus Christ. May our lives increasingly glow with God’s goodness and accurately reflect His beauty. People are watching more than we realize. People need the hope we’ve received. People need Christ.

1 can (16 oz.) refried beans 3 medium avocados 3 medium tomatoes I packet taco seasoning 1-cup sour cream ½ cup mayonnaise 8 oz. shredded cheddar cheese

Serve with tortilla chips and enjoy!

A Prayer For God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You are flawless and full of exquisite beauty. I confess I don’t allow Your beauty to shine through me when I focus on myself instead of You. Thank You for granting me the privilege of representing You to others. Please use me to reflect Christ more clearly this coming year. In Jesus’ lovely name, Amen. Food forfor the Soul Food the

Soul

I’ve attended numerous church fellowship dinners throughout my married years. Certainly I enjoy these gatherings, though I used to have difficulty deciding what food to contribute. One time I shared something that tasted pleasant but looked sort of unappealing … and I ended up taking most of it back home. This occurrence taught me how important it is to prepare a dish that not only tastes good, but also looks good. Happily I’ve discovered taco dip fits this criterion. It offers a satisfying snack experience along with a pleasantly colorful appearance. Churchgoers—including kids—glance at its attractive presentation and decide to partake. Most or all of my taco dip usually disappears before the car ride home.

“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were entreating through us …” – 2 Corinthians 5:20 Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life …

Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through her Bible study, Reaching for Righteousness: Life ! Applications from the Book of Esther, and various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts an annual women’s conference in Greensboro, NC. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotionals and to learn more about life in Christ. To contact Emily about speaking at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences, please e-mail emily@ proclaiminghimtowomen.com. Emily, who is grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her wonderful husband and their four terrific children in western NC.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33


Cake The

edding W by Mackey Carpenter

I know it’s wrong to think about indulging in food, especially after making all those New Years’ Resolutions, but a wedding cake really doesn’t count I think wedding cakes should have their own food group. And in that group there would be thousands upon thousands of flavors and designs. Recently I went to a very elegant wedding and I was lucky enough to see the wedding cake in all it’s glory before the ceremony started. There it sat, on it’s special table waiting for the o-o~h”s and a-a-h’s from the imminent arrival of the guests. It had a light dusting of edible glitter that made it sparkle under the carefully placed spotlight. I had to leave before the cake cutting but I was told that each of the five tiers contained a different flavor. Yum! One great thing about a wedding cake is that there is no set design, style,

size, color or flavor: The only thing I would ask for (as a lover of cake) is larger portions. I’m not going to discuss the amount of servings that you would get per tier. as there are too many books (such as Wilton) or great bakers that can give you that information. The standard size for a slice is one-inch by two-inches by the depth of the tier. The cakes can get expensive and one way to stretch the budget is to have extra sheet cakes on hand. Done the same as the wedding cake, no one will know the difference. For mid to large weddings, the cake should certainly be whisked off to another room to be sliced and plated after the initial cake cutting. And one very important thing, ANY person touching the cake should be wearing food-safe gloves. I have been to too many weddings where the “cake person” handles each slice with bare hands. Not a good thing! Cupcakes have become very popular over the past few years for several reasons. One is certainly portion control along with easy to eat. Multiple flavors can be offered if you do the mini cupcakes. If you do this, make sure the icing color is different for each flavor. One popular thing is to do a small cake for the bride and groom surrounded by the cupcakes. And something I have noticed, the color blue doesn’t look too bad when it’s done on a cupcake. Some of the prettiest ones I’ve seen have been iced in the Tiffany blue color. Most professional bakers will offer to do a “tasting”. You can meet with several bakers to get a sense of their capabilities. As we said before, it is YOUR wedding, this may be one of the few times you want the groom’s opinion. Ask for a peek to see where the baking is done. You can tell at a glance if it’s neat, clean and organized. Unless your baker has years of experience, don’t ask them to do a farout cake. Always, always ask to see pictures of their work. and request a

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pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013

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reference for each of the ones you like.. If the client was happy with their cake, they will gladly tell you about it. Ask if the baker delivered the cake they asked for. And if there were problems, what were they? There are a few unofficial rules when it comes to wedding cakes. Most are common sense. but I feel they need to be mentioned. -Avoid very dark colors when it comes to icing decorations. Depending on the icing recipe, some colors may bleed onto the base icing. Most will darken more within a few hours. -Don’t do an exceptionally large cake for a small wedding. It looks very out-of-place. Plus it looks like you’re showing off. -Black and white cakes can look amazing, but can also come off looking mottled if the baker isn’t experienced. -Keep the style of the cake in tune with the style of the wedding, You want everything to flow. Next to your wedding gown, the cake is among some of the most important decisions you will. make for your wedding. Just to touch on some other options, some brides are choosing to do things like an ice cream sundae bar, an assorted candy bar or even a cheesecake bar instead of or in addition to their wedding cake. It’s up to you! For All Of Your WEDDING NEEDS Catawba Valley’s YOU~NIQUE Rental Store IT’S MY PARTY RENTALS 1230 9th Ave. NE Hickory, NC (828) 267-2789 www.itsmypartyrental.com &

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35


OnExhibit ExhibitJanuary January - May 26, 2013 On 19 -19 May 26, 2013 Centrally Located in Historic Downtown Statesville Room Rentals Start at $105 Versatile Space For 20 to 1,200 People Tables, Chairs, Linens, and Set-Up Included in Rental Price

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GO GREEN – join the quest to learn about energy and conservation. t Find ways to save with light bulbs, electricity and recycling t Explore solar, wind and hydropower t Connect circuits to power up lights, radios and fans t See how much electricity your family uses compared to others t Take the green challenge – a computer interactive on green choices t Check out the latest energy-saving inventions and learn about the future of energy

CatawbaScience.org On the SALT Block - 243 Third Avenue NE - Hickory, NC 28601 828/322-8169 Conservation Quest® was created by Stepping Stones Museum for Children

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Topics Include:

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Wednesday, January 23 11:30am-1:30pm

Crowne Plaza, Hickory To register for this luncheon, visit www.catawbachamber.org or call 828-431-7228. Cost is $35 for members and $50 for non-members.

pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013

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s e r u t n e v d a s Mi ’s y d n a M

by Mandy Thomas

I know that as a general rule, the new year is a time to reflect on all the things from the previous year, draw some sort of conclusion about the actions therein, and resolve not to do some of those actions again. The problem with this is that most of the things I’d like to resolve not to do have more to do with my kids than me. Like this resolution: in 2012, I resolve to somehow go to Target without Addison having a meltdown in the dollar aisle. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll resolve to keep Savannah’s pants up while we’re in a public parking lot. I mean, I’d teach my kids about resolutions myself, except that I’m not entirely sure that the whole resolution process isn’t lost on me. Especially since every year I resolve to be a size two and it never happens. And then there was the year I resolved to no longer be afraid of heights. After forcing myself to do several things, one involving a bus stuffed full of people riding between two mountains supported by nothing but a wire, I’m still terrified. Incidentally, I’m convinced my kids find this hilarious, and purposefully get “stuck” in the McDonald’s playground so that I have to climb up in there and save them. I think that this year, I’m going to start a new tradition. I’m going to start viewing the year as an opportunity to start fresh with no expectations. Instead of pressuring myself to lose the fifty pounds I tacked onto my thighs during Thanksgiving, I’m just going to try to go for a walk in the mornings, or actually utilize my gym membership, just to see what happens. I’m also going to walk into Target and try to distract Addison somehow. I’m thinking pinwheel arms and loud singing, but that’s just me. Mostly, I’m just excited to see what happens in 2013, because weren’t we supposed to have spaceships by now? Yeah, I thought so. Happy New Year, y’all!

pg 46 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2013


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