Sophie Woman's Magazine July 2014

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VOLUME 10 - ISSUE 5 / JULY 2014

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INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Do You Know That You Are Perfectly Loved? | Page 14 Sophisticated Women ~ Get Ready To Take The Next Right Step | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are You Taking Life Too Seriously? | Page 29 shutterbuggerz pg 39

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

FREE

From The Editor: Judy Smith

essage M

Independence. Freedom. I know those two words do not make a sentence. Actually, they fill volumes of books, scores of movies and documentaries, fill hearts and minds and they fill cemeteries of ones who should never be forgotten. We are supposed to honor the ones serving and the ones that have gave it all; and yes, I said “supposed to�. Whether you agree with the wars or not. My husband served in Vietnam and so did a lot of my friends. Most of us have a grave, or several that we could go visit because of the Vietnam war. The surviving solders did not come home to parades celebrating their sacrifice but home to protesters. Yet 91% of Vietnam Veterans say they are glad they served according to General Westmoreland.

Heart

from the

Did you know that 2/3 of the men who served in Vietnam were volunteers while 2/3 of the men who served in World War II were drafted. My father and most of his brothers served in that war and I know that even without the draft they would have volunteered. Like most of the men I know who served: my husband, my father and his brothers, most do not want to talk about it. Official reports show that the oldest man killed was 62 years old. There were 11,465 men killed in action that were less than 20 years old and that the average age of an infantryman fighting in Vietnam was 19 years old. Just the other day, my husband was watching a report that stated that they now had proof that the youngest person killed was 15 years old. I was startled by that and when I made a comment, my husband shared something with me. He said himself and most of the young men he was with, really thought they would be taken out the very first day. Oh yes, I know Independence Day does not stand for the Vietnam War, World War II or World War I, but I feel like Independence Day stands for all our country has sacrificed for Freedom. Now we find out that our vets are being mistreated by the very ones they gave so much for. We should be ashamed and fall on our knees and ask forgiveness. How do you celebrate Independence Day? Do you associate it with fireworks, parades, barbecues, concerts, political speeches or some manner of public or private event? Independence Day is the National Day of the United States and we owe that to all who have served to keep it that way. Even with all the problems our Nation faces, will you take time out of your Independence Day celebrations to thank God for the Freedom we are blessed with and not take that for granted?

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

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P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager & Graphic Design: Scott Hansley Sales: Stephanie Daulton Ledford 828-729-8353 stephanie@sophiewomansmagazine.com Kaye Ball kaye@sophiewomansmagazine.com 828-855-8140 Michelle Harwell michelle@sophiewomansmagazine.com

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses. How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste. For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 The Littlest Firefighter..........................................pg 6 Sophisticated Women............................................pg 8 The Front Porch......................................................pg 11 The Entitlement Dilemma...................................pg 12 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 14 Hey Worry, Don’t Unpack Your Bags..........................pg 16 Blackberry Festival..............................................pg 18 Beyond Survival..................................................pg 20 Waldenisan Festival.............................................pg 22 Get Realistic About Your Wedding.......................pg 24 What’s Happening In Catawba County?...........pg 26 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 29 Searching For The Perfect Sofa.........................pg 30 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 33 The Cab Ride I’ll Never Forget.........................pg 34 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 39

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********************************************************** Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. **********************************************************

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The Littlest Firefighter The 26-year-old mother stared down at her son who was dying of terminal leukemia. Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent she wanted her son to grow up and fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible. The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son’s dreams to come true. She took her son’s hand and asked, “Bopsy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?” “Mommy, I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.” Mom smiled back and said, “Let’s see if we can make your wish come true.” Later that day she went to her local fire department in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix. She explained her son’s final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her six-year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine. Fireman Bob said, “Look, we can do better than that. If you’ll have your son ready at seven o’clock Wednesday morning, we’ll make him an honorary fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards! “And if you’ll give us his sizes, we’ll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat -- not a toy one -- with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots. They’re all manufactured right here in Phoenix, so we can get them fast.” Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Bopsy, dressed him in his fire uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck. Bopsy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven. There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Bopsy got to go out on all three calls. He rode in the different fire engines, the paramedic’s van, and even the fire chief’s car. He was also videotaped for the local news program. Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Bopsy that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible. One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital. Then she remembered the day Bopsy had spent as a fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Bopsy as he made his transition. The chief replied, “We can do better than that. We’ll be there in five minutes. Will you please do me a favor? When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire? It’s just the fire department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?” About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital, extended its ladder up to Bopsy’s third floor open window and five firefighters climbed up the ladder into Bopsy’s room. With his mother’s permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they loved him. With his dying breath, Bopsy looked up at the fire chief and said, “Chief, am I really a fireman now?” “Yes, Bopsy, you are a fireman now,” the chief said. With those words, Bopsy smiled and closed his eyes one last time. He passed away later that evening.

“As his mother, it was very meaningful to me that people who didn’t know us stepped forward to be in Bopsy’s life.”

— Nance Octaviana Trujillo, mom of Bopsy

For more on the background of this amazing true story: www.wish.org/about/the_first_wish/the_first_make_a_wish_child

-Make-A-Wish website on Bopsy www.personalgrowth... - Bopsy’s story and photos in the Phoenix Fire Department’s newsletter

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SophisticatTake ed Women... Next Right Steps

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

Options abound all around. With the information age swirling, it’s a challenge to know where to go, what to do, and how to do it. With a present so rich in opportunities, it’s imperative that as a Sophisticated Woman, each one of us must discern the highest and best for our lives. “Easier said than done!” you say? Of course! It’s always easier said than done. Doing IS the challenge. So, how does a woman know what is right for her? She must understand her talent set, her skills, and what my coach, Dan Sullivan calls her unique ability. A unique ability is how a woman releases light and illuminates the world. It’s how she SHINES! Do you remember a time when you lit up the room with your presence? Are there moments when you find yourself lost in your work because you have a laser-like focus? Have you ever experienced being the brightest in the room? Odds are these moments were when you displayed your unique ability. This ability emanates a powerful energy into the world that can’t be replicated. Your next right step is to figure out your unique ability. Determining your unique ability can be elusive. There are several reasons for this. The one that grieves me the most is the conditioned mental model that women hold that says, “You are not supposed to brag or boast about our abilities.” Perhaps growing up as you used your brilliance and then dared to declare it. Did someone quickly put you in your place with a comment like, “Don’t get too big for your britches.” Odds are those britches fit just right! They were your size. In fact, I bet they fit like a glove. Sadly, after being told you’re not special enough times, we quietly move forward using our gifts taking care to not show off or to bring too much attention to ourselves. Tell me, how does that serve the world? It doesn’t. What does serve the world is a woman who knows how to illuminate her world with her unique ability.

Let’s get started. Here’s a…A Next Right Step Start by thinking about the things you do that come easily. But, be careful! The reality is that sophisticated women can do a LOT of things. We are competent at many things. We are excellent at a few things. However, there is a really only one unique ability. Create a list of the times when you felt great about your life and your work. What activities did you do? What experiences did you have? What skills and talents were displayed? Write these down. What abilities are illuminated?

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

And another… Next Right Step Do this exercise that I experienced through my mentor, Ann Starrette. Write a letter or email to 10 to 15 people who know you very well. Choose people from different areas of your life: family, work, volunteering, etc. Ask them to write out what they see as your unique ability. Ask the question like this: What is that I do that you see is my most unique ability, my area of genius, or the area where I shine? Insist that they put this into writing, be honest, and return to you a simple paragraph. Tell them that you are not looking for flattery, you’re just desperate for clarity! Once you receive your responses, AGAIN seek to see the abilities that are illuminated. Yet another…Next Right Step Take your list of abilities and discern. Discernment is the act of seeing situations from an enlightened state. Now that you have personally reflected on your unique ability as well as received feedback from others, you have in your possession the power to energize even more next right steps. Finally, answer this powerful question: What ability shines through, as a result of this self coaching process, as my unique ability and where can I put it to work? Once you have this answer, go light up the world.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Maryanne Williamson At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com

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pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

If you are a reader of The Front Porch, you have heard me say many times that a porch does not have to be a porch. In my mind, a porch is a place you can just sit and take in life. I am blessed to have a front porch and a back porch although you might call them a stoop and a deck. Maybe your porch is a chair sitting beside a window that you can gaze out at the world. What do you see from “your porch”? Last week, I and a couple of friends took a day trip just to explore and enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. Actually, we set out with an agenda to see the Ashe County Frescoes in Jefferson NC. We also planned to visit the Cheese Factory in downtown Jefferson. Our friend Sara had never seen either. Our other friend named Judy (one is Judy 1 and the other is Judy 2, but I will leave that up to you to figure out which is which) was the event planner for the day. Our itinerary also consisted of visiting the Todd General Store which is on the Historical Registry. We cannot corroborate to this day that there is such a thing because I have not seen this with my own eyes. We found Todd, NC that has a population of 2,158 but they must have all been at the missing general store because we could not find anyone to ask. Even our Google map that showed the road and directions were just fine until we ran across a detour. County road, country mile, country detour....are you getting the picture. Of course being in the mountains on a “ghost” highway, my little map thingie on my smart phone couldn’t find a signal to help us out. I had just learned how to use that thing too! Even though we rode for half a day hunting that historic location...OK maybe it wasn’t half a day… you might think our trip was ruined. On that ghost road, we saw a snake crossing the road. Judy # whichever was not too excited about that. We saw buffalo that we were all ecstatic about, as long as they stayed on their side of the road. Plus we ran alongside the most amazing river/creek, depending on which one of us you ask, we have ever seen. We just had the best old hooting time ever. We finally did start to run into some cabins and then just another country mile down the road we found paradise. The most exquisite flowers and trees you have ever seen. There was a lone house with it. We did not see the house till we were right on top of it but we decided we needed to turn around and knock on the door … just to tell the folks how ecstatic we were.

Front The

Porch by Judy Smith

You know those mountainous curvy roads don’t give you much room to maneuver but we managed to get the vehicle turned around without dropping off in the river/creek, depending on which one of us you ask. When we got back to the house, there was a man in the garden across the road and I yelled to Judy # whichever, to stop. Out of the car, I bounced, walking straight up to the man who was surely wondering what these three strange women were doing out in the boonies. As I got close enough to speak, he asked me if we were looking for work. I am sure he meant hoeing and pulling weeds but I told him no sir, we were trying to get out of working today. After he was assured that we were just three crazy Southern Belles, he started telling us about his plants. We convinced him to sell us a couple of the ones we had never seen. Heck, if these do good, we might even go back for more. On second thoughts, since that place was on the “ghost highway”, I realize we could probably never find it again. He had a beautiful side porch overlooking his flowers that he told us he does for his wife. I hope she realizes the blessing she has and takes advantage of that beautiful sight every day. After that, we moseyed on our way till we found ourselves on another adventure that will have to wait for another time. We might even decide to go back to hunt for Todd General Store but I think next on our list will be looking for the Historic Priddy’s General Store. Just know I would have included some photos of the three of us but Judy # whichever threatened me with my life if any of her showed up in the magazine or on Facebook. However, she did not say a word about killing me if you just ask me to show one to you! I would love to hear from you about your front porch experiences. Love, Blessings and Smiles to You and thanks for reading Sophie Woman’s Magazine

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

The Entitlement Dilemma:

How to Keep a Teen from Becoming Like Veruca Salt by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC Do you remember Veruca Salt in the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? She was the spoiled, little rich girl that demanded that her father buy her the goose that lays chocolate eggs. When Wonka tells him that he cannot have it, Veruca begins to whine and sing a song about her many other demands. Her father passively smiles and says, “Anything you say dear.” I remember watching this movie many times as a young child and always being repelled by Varuca’s self-centered attitude. Like other viewers, I was drawn to Charlie Bucket whose humble manner softens Mr Wonka and compels him to select him as the company’s CEO. Unlike Veruca, who perfectly portrayed entitlement, young Charlie depicted rare character traits like sincerity, humility and honesty. Unfortunately, over 40 years after this movie was released, it appears we have millions of Verucas in our midst and a severe shortage of Charlies. From the toddler screaming at the big-box store to the teen storming away from mom when she said ‘no’ to another purchase to the group of kids who laugh and mock their friend for having an “old fashioned” cell phone. Entitled kids abound these days! This problem is a big one to combat. Everywhere our teens go alluring ads compete for their attention. These images whisper and sometimes even shout, “You need me, you must have me, you will be delighted by me.” Because they are more digitally connected than any other generation before them, they are constantly aware of the things that other people around the globe possess. If they so much as search for that item on the internet then almost instantly, they will see ads appear on the sidebar of their social media sites or search engine results. Even if a parent tries hard to keep their kids from being entitled by placing reasonable limits on purchases, many admit that they must deal with the guilt that rises up when they see their friend’s kids with a new cellphone, game system, laptop or latest gadget. There is pressure from all sides to cave in to this entitlement beast and buy into the delusion that we or our kids ought to have what we want when we want it. Over the years I have come across articles and books that attempt to address this massive problem in today’s youth. There are many helpful suggestions out there that include things like delaying or denying instant gratification, practicing gratitude as a family, serving the homeless or underprivileged populations in your community together or even sending your teens on short term missions overseas. While these are all very important and helpful strategies, none of these really nips at the birthplace of entitlement.

pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

What will really determine whether our kids resemble Veruca or Charlie will depend most on what they believe about who they are and who God is. These beliefs will powerfully impact both their internal dialogue and their external focus. Entitlement germinates from a teen’s belief that they are utterly good and worthy. This belief perpetuates the idea that they are capable and should be in control of all things. While this may seem like a great message to send our kids, it is a humanistic message and quite contrary to Scripture. God, our Maker, says we are depraved and undeserving because of our sinful nature. (Rom 3:9-18, Eph 2:1-5). This truth reminds our teens that He alone is worthy to be provident over all things. Only in Christ are we considered righteous and justified. And, only as we recognize that all things come from His hand will we humbly recognize our utter dependence on God and His provision. (I Chron. 29:11, Ps. 103:19, James 1:17) A teen’s core beliefs impact their internal dialogue. The voice of entitlement says, “You deserve…” “They owe you…” “Go get what you want/need.” The voice of humility and dependence upon God says, “You don’t deserve…” “God owes you nothing” “God will graciously provide you with just what you need…” A teen’s internal dialogue impacts their focus. Teens who buy into the core beliefs of entitlement focus on their personal happiness, contentment, position and what they can receive. On the contrary, teens who believe that every good thing comes from God alone find their contentment in Him as they gratefully receive and share the blessings He lovingly chooses to bestow upon them. Because of this, they will defer praise to the only One who deserves glory. So, what can a parent do to influence your teen to grow into an adult who demonstrates godly humility instead of earthly entitlement? Reinforce godly principles by first examining your own beliefs. Ask God to reveal your inner thoughts and focus. Model a life

CLOCK REPAIR

of humility by your response to blessings and in your decisions to make purchases. Challenge your teen’s core beliefs through probing questions and regular discussions. Help them see the emptiness that comes from an entitled way of life. Express gratitude to the One who gave it to you in the first place. Isn’t it so refreshing when you encounter a young person who acts more like Charlie than Veruca? Together, let’s commit to helping our teens move away from the lure of entitlement that ultimately robs them of knowing where true contentment lies.

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Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor. For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.

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Finding Perfect Love by Gwen Smith

Today’s Truth

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).

Friend to Friend

My kids are both sweet and sour on a regular basis… as are all of us. Depends on the minute. Depends on the day. Every once in a happy while, however, one of my children surprises me with an unexpectedly sweet moment that becomes a heart treasure. I had one of those special conversations moons ago with my middle child, Hunter, when he was just nine years old. It was bedtime. Teeth were brushed. Jammies were on. Prayers had been prayed. The smell of shampoo lingered from his freshly showered head. As I brushed a stray hair from his eye, the sweet conversation began with an innocent question… “Mommy, do you know what I love?” “What do you love, Hunter?” I whispered. “I love being loved,” he said thoughtfully. “Yep. I really love being loved.” Lying beside him in the dark room, I could scarcely process the vastness of his statement. It was the simplest of thoughts, delightfully honest, yet one of the most profound and insightful statements I’d ever heard come from his lips – from his heart. When he spoke those four little words, “I love being loved,” I heard several things: • • • •

He had a deep longing to be loved. He knew he was loved. His love tank was being re-filled as I tucked him in. His greatest need is love.

Like Hunter, our greatest longing and need is also to be loved… to feel safe, adored, and content in love. I don’t know where this devotion finds you today, but I sense God nudging me to tell you that He loves you. Completely. Perfectly. Eternally. (Yes, I’m talking to you!) He knows your name, He knows your heart, He knows your circumstances, and He hears your prayers. He loves you and desires for you to rest in His love. God’s Word says so. You. Are. Perfectly. Loved. God’s love is not based on performance or beauty. It’s not based on your position or abilities. Many times we mistakenly think that if we could just do this or that better – that God would love us more. That if we just hadn’t done this or that – God could love us more. The truth is this: God will never love you more or less…no matter what. His love is complete and you are the object of His heart’s affection. But don’t take my word for it – take His! The Bible tells us that God’s love for us is unstoppable, unsearchable and unbreakable: …that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39) No matter what you’ve believed in the past, choose by faith to believe this now: you are valued, priceless, and adored by God. “Take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:18–19, MSG). The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17) Let those words sink in. Savor the special sweetness of God’s love for you today. Take it very personally. Linger long on thoughts of His affection for you. Let them find and fill your heart in wounded places. When you embrace the deep love of Christ as a personal reality, you will gain traction for powerful, meaningful living that begins with forgiveness and continues on in truth and grace. Go in His love today. Be assured of it. Share it. Be changed by it. Change others with it.

Let’s Pray

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen” (Ephesians 3:16-21). In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Now It’s Your Turn

God loves you and takes pleasure when you go to Him in prayer. Why? Because you are His – made by Him for Him – treasured by and restored to His heart through Jesus Christ. Allow Him to quiet you with His love today. Spend a few moments in prayer right now. Thank Him for His love. Worship at His feet. Be still before Him.

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God’s love is perfect. He has seen our biggest failures, our greatest places of shame and hurt – and yet, He beckons us to His love, forgiveness, healing, and grace. He has a plan for each life that is far beyond the shattered matters we deal with. Every step of transformation begins with our surrender to the heart of God. If you would like to learn more about how your brokenness can be reworked into a picture of God’s beauty, order Gwen’s book Broken into Beautiful on Amazon– or for a signed copy, order from Gwen’s website. This resource will help you experience the power of hope, healing and restoration!

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“Hey Worry... Don’t Unpack Your Bags!” by Cyndi Caldwell, Certified Senior Advisor It’s an exciting time at our house. Our daughter is getting married in two weeks. Lots of preparations and finding ways to include all of our loved ones, including our seniors. Just last week I went to visit my mother-inlaw and fill her in on all the upcoming events. To be honest her response surprised me. “Well, I hope I don’t mess up the wedding.” What?? In my mind she should have been thinking about what a great event this will be and how she will be with her whole family. She had been spending her time thinking of all the problems that could occur instead of all the JOY! She was worried.

it comes to the pervasive issue of WORRY? It’s time again to “READ THE SIGNS” and take “PRO-ACTIVE STEPS.” When you feel yourself – or see your loved one stressed, or seeming to sink into a depression regarding what “might be” here is a starting point for pro-active steps to take: 1.

LIVE IN THE NOW - try not to dwell on issues that MAY happen, deal with what IS going on. When dealing with a senior encourage them to take one step at a time. “Let’s talk about TODAY.”

You know those people, they may be in your inner circle (in fact it could even be YOU!) Worry has taken on a disproportionate value in their lives. In his book, If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get out of The Boat – Pastor John Ortberg devotes a whole chapter to the discussion of worry. He explains worry in this fashion. “Worry is a special form of fear. The traditional distinction is that fear is caused by an external source while worry or anxiety is produced from the inside.” “Worry is fear that has unpacked its bags and signed a long term lease.”

2.

TAKE POSITIVE ACTION STEPS – doing something helps diminish our fear and gives us more control. • See your Doctor – feeling blue or worrying can sometimes be a chemical imbalance that can be addressed medically. • Get outside and if possible get more exercise. Fresh air and getting the blood flowing is nature’s remedy. • Develop a game plan. Do you need to address where Mom is going to live? Do that! • Do you need to have more help at home for Dad? Arrange it! • Do you think that money is going to be a future concern? Investigate your options!

3.

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE –you need to FIND IT and focus your energies on that. • What can Dad still do for himself? Talk about that! • What does Mom have coming up in her future? A Wedding? A Church Function? A Holiday? Celebrate the thought of that! • Does Mom or Dad have a special friend or family member they would enjoy seeing? Plan that!

4.

BE GRATEFUL – gratitude changes attitude! I’d love to say I thought of it but frankly Oprah was the one who said, “Keep a blessings journal daily.” Simply writing down three NEW things each day that we are thankful for can change our whole outlook. Try it for 21 days (the time it takes to develop a habit) and you will be amazed at how you look at life. This is an activity you can do with your Mom /or Dad. Finding out what they are most grateful for can be a journey you take together.

Aging, or dealing with a loved one who is going through this process can be a hot bed of worry. You may be thinking, “Am I doing the right thing?” “Are they going to be alright?” “What did the Doctor mean by that?” Your elderly parent may be thinking, “Am I going to be alone?” “Am I going to be in pain?” “Who’s going to care for me?” These are things we ALL think about, so take one step back and breathe deeply…….YOU ARE NORMAL. It’s when your fears “unpack their bags and move in long term,” –that’s when you have a problem. Normal fear is part of our emotional makeup. It started back in the Stone Age with the fight or flight response. There was a time when we had to make a decision – Fight or Flight – Eat or Be Eaten! Thankfully those days are for the most part in the past but the body still has the fight or flight response and a big part of that response is FEAR. Fear grips all of us on a daily basis. It reminds us to buckle our seat belt, read the date label on the package of meat in the grocery, and hold our grandson’s hand when we cross the street together. Fear can be a productive emotion when channeled into pro-active response and solution based methods. Worry on the other hand can be paralyzing. As we age, normal risk taking, challenges and growth opportunities are not as easily dealt with. Stress factors and feeling out of control can trap anyone of ANY AGE in what I call the “WEB OF WORRY”. So how can we help our Mom, Dad, friend, and even ourselves when

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

It’s okay to experience fear. It’s a natural human emotion. When we are experiencing fear we can be sure that we are growing. Fear is nature’s way of PUSHING US FORWARD. The important thing is not to let its unproductive friend WORRY “unpack its bags”.

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Follow Us On Facebook www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17

Something’s Always Happening In • Dr. Seuss Parade On Mulberry Street - March • Downtown Cruise-Ins - First Saturdays "QSJM December • NC Gravity Games - April • Festival In The Park (Multi-Cultural) May • Cycle To Serve Lenoir Rotary Cycling Event - May • Pop Ferguson Blues Festival - June • Friday After Five on the Square - Music Fri. Nights +VOF "VHVTU • Fabulous Family Films - Saturday Nights +VOF %FDFNCFS • NC Blackberry Festival - July • Harambee Festival - "VHVTU • Sculpture Celebration - September • Howl-a-Palooza - Film, Zombie Run and More - October • Downtown Trick R Treat - October • Art Around Caldwell - Gallery and Studio Tours • Caldwell Rotary Christmas Festival -November • Light Up Lenoir / Christmas Light Show - November • Lenoir Christmas Parade - December • Satie’s Gallery Holiday Sale- December

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pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

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an you imagine the mouth-watering taste of homemade blackberry cobbler? Stop dreaming and experience it July 12, 2014 at the N.C. Blackberry Festival in Historic Downtown Lenoir. Visitors to the NC Blackberry Festival often ask what makes it different from other small town festivals. The answer is easy: the BLACKBERRIES and the hometown folks who unite to bake more than 225 individual blackberry cobblers that comprise the World’s Largest Patchwork of Blackberry Cobbler. Amidst the excitement generated by the more than 13,000 attendees, the crowd stands in amazement as children of all ages march the homemade cobblers into town in the ceremonial Colossal Cobbler Parade Brigade. The cobblers are carefully placed into a patchwork quilt pattern while bystanders anxiously wait. Following a brief pause for pictures, volunteers rush in for the official moment all have anticipated – the time for tasting. Free servings are given out until the cobbler is gone. No, the NC Blackberry Festival is no ordinary small town festival; it is a true community festival where visitors become friends in the blink of an eye. Blackberries are the theme for the day. Fresh blackberries as big as a man’s thumb, blackberry ice cream, blackberry pastries, blackberry smoothies, BLACKBERRIES GALORE! This festival is held the second Saturday in July, but the celebration begins on Friday evening. Guests enjoy a recipe contest, Parking Lot Pickin’ competition, and great culinary and beverage options in the downtown restaurants. The recipe competition is open to all age groups, and blackberry entries can be found in every category. Extraordinary jams, jellies, cakes and pies are mainstays. But blackberry-infused salsas, appetizers,

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and entrees bring unexpected delight to the judges. Even the audience is invited to sample entries. Winners walk away with cash and bragging rights for an entire year. The Blackberry Shuffle 5K and Fun Run kick off the day’s events, followed by the Blackberry Princess Pageant. This year we have partnered with the American Red Cross to have a Blackberry Festival Blood Drive and you can call the Caldwell Chamber of Commerce now to sign up! Don’t miss the youth and adult eating competitions, they always promise to be loads of fun. After the World’s Largest Patchwork of Blackberry Cobbler is shared, various musicians perform live on Main Stage in the afternoon. Vendors come from far and wide to display their handcrafted and artisan merchandise throughout the streets of Lenoir. Don’t miss the special Berry Market Area where local farmers and state blackberry growers sell produce they have grown with hard work and dedication. For the wine connoisseurs, several area wineries offer their bottled nectars. Many local shops and area businesses showcase their services. The children’s area offers the traditional inflatables and bounce house type activities. The ever popular train returns again this year to transport festival goers along the streets throughout the day. In an effort to attract more artisan vendors to the festival, young artists are invited to display their art work in our free children’s area. Historic Downtown Lenoir is located just off US Hwy. 321. In addition to the NC Blackberry Festival, Lenoir is home to celebrations and unique events throughout the year. For more information, visit ExploreCaldwell.com or NCBlackberryFestival.com It will be a BERRY good time!

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

Beyond Survival Submitted by Kim Eroh - JC’s Mom

M

any don’t realize the lifetime ordeal that a cancer diagnosis begins. Of course during the treatment you are focused on fighting, winning the battle and prevailing over cancer. You cope with that in a variety of ways: denial, anger, action and eventually acceptance. But then what? What comes after acceptance? What happens in the weeks months and years after the battle is over? During the first few weeks/months I was elated! It was finally over, no more driving to Charlotte once a week to be poked in the chest with a one inch needle. No more sickness from the chemo. It wasn’t immediate but my energy level finally began to improve. Physically, I am feeling great! But the mental and emotional toil of cancer lingers on. While I am not required to have weekly blood tests and monthly treatments, I still need test every 3 months. They are testing for “tumor markers” which is simply a “red flag” in my blood that may say that the cancer has returned. For my particular type of cancer, the blood test has to be sent away for processing and it takes up to 2 weeks to get the results. Even though there are days now that I don’t really think about cancer – during those two weeks I make up for it ten-fold! What if it’s back? What if they didn’t get it all the first time? Every cancer survivor feels this way I would guess – at least those that I have spoken with do. One friend said her way of dealing with that waiting period is to be super worried and then when it comes back all clear she is super happy and celebrates. Another friend says she asks them not to even call her with her results. That way she doesn’t have to wait around for that dreaded phone call. If there is any bad news it will be a surprise. For me – I sort of ignore it as best I can. Pretend that it doesn’t bother me. And pretend that it wasn’t a big deal when the results come back – sort of like “oh, ok – I knew it would be ok”. But even beyond the blood work, there are the everyday questions that arise. EVERY pain, EVERY twinge, EVERY eye twitch – is that the cancer coming back? Even now, as I write this, I am sitting in a hospital waiting for a breast biopsy. Breast pain led to a mammogram, which showed 2 masses. Even though the doctors say they are 99% sure they are benign,

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

that 1% chance is still there and I will feel much better when I know for sure. After all, I was told by numerous doctors that I didn’t have cancer – so it’s hard for me to bet on the odds in these situations. I know that I am in for a lifetime of these what-ifs. Maybe it will get easier, or maybe not – but I suppose the “what-ifs” will keep me diligent. On the emotional level, no matter what traumatic experience occurs in ones life, it alters the course of normal. Hopes and dreams are put on hold, priorities are shifted, focus becomes on the here and now rather than the plans for the future. That’s not always a bad thing. I think cancer helped me to “stop and smell the roses” so to speak. But after focusing so intently on overcoming the traumatic event (in my case cancer), getting life back on track doesn’t just come naturally. For the first time in my life, I had lost control. During those months of being sick and tired, and fighting the evils of cancer, I had lost the control over the day to day things (and if you know me, you know that I am a control freak!). I had certainly lost control over my own body. Cancer didn’t ask me if it could come in and set up shop. I had lost control over my emotions and was prone to break down at any moment. You may say “well, you have good reason – a good cry never hurt anyone”. But again, the “old me” would have never let that happen. But most of all, I had lost my independence. I had never before been unable to take care of myself and my family. For the first time since childhood, I was the one being taken care of by those that loved me and while I was so thankful for that, it was difficult for my ego to come to terms with. Regaining that independence was a big deal for me. The little things that I used to take for granted were big milestones: going to the grocery store without being exhausted afterwards, being able to walk to the park with my kids, Christmas shopping (the year before I wasn’t able to shop for Christmas because of my health issues). For me, that was the “normal” that I wanted – NEEDED – to get back. It took time, but I finally feel like I am back to my full-time mom/wife/daughter/friend self. And its great to be back!

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Celebrating the 39th Annual Waldensian Festival Friday August 8th and Saturday August 9th Come celebrate with us as Valdese hosts the 39th annual Historic Valdese Waldensian Festival. This festival, held since 1976, oers an experience to share with the entire family as well as friends and neighbors. The Town of Valdese is proud to host the Waldensian Festival which commemorates the “Glorious Returnâ€? of the Waldenses from exile in Switzerland to their native valleys in the Cottian Alps of Italy in 1689. This celebration is mirrored around the world by other communities.

Liberty, Faith & Honor,

these are the legacies of the Waldenses

Tuesday-Friday Guided Tours at 11am & 2pm July 11-August 8 Extended Hours Fridays & Saturdays: 4-6pm

Festival Hours: Aug. 8: 11am-6pm & Aug. 9: 10am-6pm *Additional Times by Appointment*

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pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

Always striving to improve each year, the Town of Valdese and The Historic Valdese Foundation make this one of the best festival in the state of North Carolina. The 2014 festival will not disappoint with over 170 Food and Craft Vendors including unique crafts, artists, entertainment for all ages, not to mention the food. While here, take time to visit the outstanding history Valdese has to oer. The outdoor drama “From This Day Forwardâ€?, the Waldensian Heritage Museum and The Trial of Faith will be open and a shuttle service will be available to take visitors to these locations. Another highlight of the day is a special church service conducted at the Waldensian Presbyterian Church. This year’s sermon, “A Community of Fellowshipâ€? will discuss the founding of the Agape Center after WW II in the valleys where the Waldensians originally lived prior to coming to North Carolina. This was a community center built for the youth to learn peacemaking and fellowship with each other. Following the service a traditional Waldensian meal consisting of Waldensian salad, bread sticks, soutisso (a Waldensian style sausage), potatoes and dessert will be served. Tickets for the meal can be purchased by calling 828-874-2531.

All of this and much, much more, will make this an unforgettable event you will not want to miss.

Friday August 8: Festival Kickoff • • • • • •

Amusement Rides for Children & Youth Myra’s Classic & Antique Car Cruise In Live Music at the Corner of Rodoret & Main Street Beer & Wine Garden Great Food provided by local restaurants Great Shopping with Downtown Merchants

Saturday August 9: Festival Day • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Over 170 Food/Art/Craft/Activity Vendors Regional Boccie Tournament Live Entertainment throughout the day! Little Miss & Master Pageant RSAF: Open Art Competition P&W Railroad Museum Open House Tractor Rides British Car Show Beer & Wine Garden Outdoor Drama “From This Day Forward� Great Waldensian Footrace Traditional Waldensian Meal at the Waldensian Presbyterian Church Amusement Rides for Children & Youth Shuttle Service for Attraction Tours (meet at information booth) ◊ Waldensian Heritage Museum ◊ Trail of Faith ◊ Waldensian Heritage Winery ◊ McGalliard Falls Park

Main Stage Lineup: Friday Festival Kicko • • •

6pm Myra’s Classic Car Cruise In 6:45pm Opening Ceremony & Mayor’s Welcome 7pm: Too Much Sylvia

To Nourish, Delight, and Serve You, Every Meal, Every Day 320 Main St E Valdese, NC 28690.

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• • • • • •

9am Pan Jive Steel Drum Band 10am Waldensian Singers (Old Colony Players: From This Day Forward) 11am Little Miss & Master Pageant (Sponsored by the Valdese Pilot Club) 12:00pm Michelle Leigh 2:30pm Songwriters’ Showcase 4pm Mama’s Remedy 5pm Boccie Winners Announced (Sponsored by the L.P.D.A.) 7pm: Jim Quick & Coastline

Davidson Cornelius

Huntersville

N. MECK

W

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H W eritage

ines

8BMEFOTJBO IFSJUBHF ĘPXT XJUI XJOF DFSUBJOMZ OPU UIF XPSTU IJTUPSJD USBJU UP IBWF $FOUVSJFT BHP JO UIF $PUUJBO "MQT XFTU PG 5PSJOP *UBMZ BOE JO UIF 8FTUFSO 1JFENPOU PG *UBMZ UIF 8BMEFOTJBOT MFBSOFE UIF DSBę PG DSFBUJOH HSFBU XJOFT ćFTF XJOF NBLJOH TLJMMT BSF QSFTFSWFE by Waldensian Heritage Wines, located a couple of miles north of EPXOUPXO 7BMEFTF 7JTJUPST DBO XJUOFTT QSPDFTTFT UIBU SFĘFDU B DPNCJOFE ZFBST FYQFSJFODF JO XJOF NBLJOH #VJMU PG MPDBM ĕFME SPDL and timbers, the Waldensian Heritage Winery opened in 1930.

Main Stage Lineup: Saturday Festival Day • •

Troutman

CATAWBA Newton

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23

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“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, over many quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore…..” Although I am sure that Edgar Alan Poe wasn’t planning a wedding, many brides have told me that they stay up late at night thumbing through bridal magazines and searching the internet for wedding ideas, only to add to their confusion. Well, let’s try a different approach. Even if your wedding is a year or only a few months away, after setting the date, the first thing you need to do is to decide on the style of your wedding. And there are many to choose from, like simple or elaborate, modern or traditional, vintage or bohemian and the list goes on. It may sound confusing, but deep down inside you probably have some idea of the wedding of your dreams. Right now it isn’t about the cost, just the style. If you’re not sure, look at your surroundings, magazine clippings and saved pictures from Pinterest. Even though it’s great to get advice from friends and family, this is all about you. By the time most brides start to plan their wedding, chances are they have already attended several of their friends’ or families’ weddings. They’ve had an opportunity to check out some of the venues and what they have to offer. Sometimes the style of your wedding may determine your venue choice, but more often it’s the price, the amenities, or the number of guests it can accommodate. The important thing for you is to get a contract than explains what is expected of, not only the venue, but you as well. You need to know whether or not they do the food, what is included like tables, chairs, linens, bartenders, waiters, cleanup, cutting and serving the wedding cake and more. You also need to know all the time constraints, when you can get in and when you are expected to vacate. One of the first things that will be discussed will be when the deposit is due and when they expect the final payment. Most places will NOT put you on their schedule until they receive a deposit. You also need to find out the deadline for a refund if your plans happen to change. I’ve had a lot of brides start out saying that they want their wedding to be small and intimate. With a few exceptions, that idea is usually pushed aside after a short while. When families start getting involved with the guest lists, not only does the head count go up, so does the cost of the wedding. So the next thing to be discussed is the budget. Do you have one? I hope so, because one of the biggest causes of “stress” during the planning of a wedding is money. Weddings are one of the most expensive decisions that you will ever make. Some put all of their wedding expenses on a credit card, only later to find out they can’t afford the monthly payments or don’t have a back up for financial emergencies. I’ve had brides give up their honeymoons because they didn’t properly budget their wedding. The important thing is to be realistic and plan within your means. Don’t overextend. You really don’t want to start a marriage already deep in debt. Regardless of who will be doing your food, most will price according to head count and do a percentage above that. If you are doing a sitdown dinner, be prepared to pay more. A buffet service (two meats, vegetables and bread) is a little less expensive and heavy hors d’oeuvres even less. As you know, some foods are more expensive than others so have a list of possibilities when you talk to the caterer. Again, this is where you want a written contract. There are very few things that can substitute, for say, boiled shrimp. Your contract should say that there are no substitutions without permission. Double check the menu the day before the wedding. All of the food should have been procured by then. Good food can make or break the guests’ opinions of your wedding. Not having enough is embarrassing and you don’t want that to be the leading topic of your wedding on social media. Recently I had a former bride tell me that she had ordered all of her flowers online for her wedding. The flowers were beautiful. The only problem was that they arrived two days after her wedding. They ended

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

up going to a member’s only big box store to get her flowers the day of the wedding. Ordering anything online is risky, especially when it comes to your wedding. Your flowers are such a big part of that day so ask other brides to see who did theirs. Word-of-mouth is one of the most important ways of advertising there is. It can also bring a business to it’s’ knees. Look on social media at pictures of flowers done by florists. It’s a good way to see what’s out there before making contact. Also check to see if there’s a website. Some brides get a family member to do their wedding cake. They know it will taste good and be fresh. Most brides have no idea about who will be doing their wedding cake. By now they know what they want it to look like but have no idea of how to get to that point. While there are many great home bakers, I suggest going to a bakery with a storefront. Most are set up to do tastings (with an appointment) and are familiar with the different flavors. There are even some that can do gluten-free cakes or cakes for those with other allergies. Visit the bakery beforehand and buy some cupcakes or other pastries to see what you might like. It also gives you a chance to check it out visually to see the cleanliness and possibly to get a look at other cakes they have produced. My new flavor right now is maple-bacon. Next month it will be different. There are many programs on TV that feature “The Dress”. We all know what that means and we don’t need a reality show to show us what goes on during the hunt for the perfect dress. But if you watch those shows on a regular basis, you can see that having a bunch of people along usually makes matters worse. Most of us know what looks good on us and what doesn’t. Remember, those shows are for entertainment, that’s it. I don’t know why they call them reality shows because they are anything but that. And even though there are some brides with unlimited budgets, most of those that come through my doors are looking for the best dress at the best price. Shop wisely and don’t settle but also be realistic when shopping for your dress. You may luck up and find a $10,000 dress for $500, but chances are you won’t. Your alterations cost will be the same regardless of the cost of the dress. Do allow time for alterations if you are having a portrait made before the wedding. A bridal shop I visited several years ago had this sign on their wall,” Bad planning on your part does not necessarily constitute an emergency on my part.” And that about says it all! Mackey S. Carpenter www.mscdesigns.net

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Catawba County Local Events Jim Hurst

Date: July 18, 2014 Venue: Acoustic Stage/Firemen's Kitchen Address: 30 3rd St. NW Hickory, NC 28603

Inside Pitch Toy Show

Date: July 19, 2014 Time: 9:00am to 4:00pm Venue: Hickory Metro Convention Center Address: 1960 13th Avenue Drive Southeast Hickory, NC 28601

Mad Science

Date: July 9, 2014 Time: 10:00am Venue: Southwest Branch Library Address: 2944 Highway 127 South Hickory, NC 28602

Performance - Macbeth

Date: July 19, 2014 Time: 1:30pm Venue: Green Room Community Theatre Address: 10 South Main Avenue Newton, NC 28658

Downtown Hickory Farmers' Market

Address: Union Square Hickory, NC 28601 Contact: Donna Cullum Phone: 828-308-6508 Website: Downtown Hickory Farmers' Market Email: dwntwnmarketmgr@aol.com The Downtown Hickory Farmers Market (DHFM) is a local "non profit" organization selling products from local farmers and a limited number of artisans. The DHFM membership consists of a ratio of at least 75% farmers and no more than 25% artisans. Market Hours: April 16, 2014 - November 1, 2014 Saturday, 8am - 1pm Wednesday, 10am - 3pm Thursday, 5pm - 8pm

Catawba County Hornets Football Skills Clinic

Date: July 12 The Newton Parks & Recreation Department and the Catawba County Hornets are sponsoring a Football Skills Clinic for boys and girls ages 4–12 years. The clinic runs from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday, July 12 Westside/Jaycee Park. A $5 donation is suggested from the participants.

pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

Kids will learn football fundamentals and coordination skills at several stations according to ages. All participants will receive a t-shirt and lunch will be provided. Newton Parks & Recreation Department and Catawba County Hornets participation waivers are required, which will be available when registering at the Newton Recreation Center. No child will be allowed to participate in the camp without the properly-signed waivers.

ď€?ď€? ď€?ď€? ď€Śď€žď€Ľď€€ď€—ď€Şď€Źď€Śď€€ď€ľď€°ď€€ď€œď€Śď€Śď€€ď€–ď€ľď€ ď€ The Catawba County Chamber of Commerce is once again looking for entrepreneurs who have an idea for an innovative viable business in the Hickory Metro area they would like to submit for consideration and review by a panel of judges. You will compete with other start-up entrepreneurs for an economic incentive plus other educational beneďŹ ts and business resources for 12 months. The entry fee is $100.00 payable to the Catawba County Chamber of Commerce by the July 11th deadline.

For further information, contact the Newton Parks and Recreation Department at (828) 695-4317, or visit www.newtonnc.gov.

We encourage you to complete the registration and upload your Executive Summary by Friday, July 11, 2014.

Hickory Alive!

The Edison Project Finalists will receive mentor assistance and educational workshops to better position themselves for a successful business.

Hickory Alive! is an annual, free concert series that will run this year on the first Fridays in June, July, August and September ---------------------- EVEN MORE EVENTS -----------------------Jul 02 Toddler Story Time 11:00 AM - 11:30 AM Patrick Beaver Memorial Library Jul 02 School Kids Stories 3:30 PM - 4:30 PM Patrick Beaver Memorial Library Jul 02 Free Yoga Class for Adults and Teens 6:00 PM - End Patrick Beaver Memorial Library Jul 03 GED Class 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM Ridgeview Branch Library Jul 03 Paws to Read at Ridgeview Library 6:15 PM - 7:30 PM Ridgeview Branch Library Jul 04 Babytime 10:00 AM - 10:30 AM Patrick Beaver Memorial Library Jul 07 Story Time with Ms. Carole 10:30 AM - 11:00 AM Ridgeview Branch Library Jul 07 Kids' Crafts at Ridgeview Branch Library 2:00 PM - End Ridgeview Branch Library Jul 08 Preschool Story Time 11:00 AM - 11:30 PM Patrick Beaver Memorial Library ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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ď€”ď€°ď€łď€€ď€˜ď€°ď€łď€Śď€€ď€’ď€Śď€ľď€˘ď€Şď€­ď€´ď€€ď€? Please visit www.catawbachamber.org and click on the Edison Project logo,  to see information about the project and to obtain an application form. Or call 828.431.7230 WPS Ad July 2014.qxp_Layout 1 5/15/14 2:45 PM Page 1

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Are you taking life too seriously? When you are juggling many balls and have high expectations for yourself, it is easy to get caught up in the seriousness of it all instead of embracing the liveliness of it all. Your nose is to the grindstone. Your pace is fast and furious. Your focus is laser sharp on what you are trying to accomplish. It’s no wonder you’re exhausted! And chances are, you are not enjoying your life all that much either. Life is demanding, chaotic and oftentimes unpredictable. You can embrace it with gusto and see its charm, or you can allow it to bear down its weight upon you and get the very best of you, leaving nothing else for what really matters. When you begin to feel as though life is work, even when not at work, then it is time to take a step back and bring back some of its joy, vibrancy and appeal back into your spirit. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves and for others in our lives is to simply lighten up. Awaken Your Childlike Wonder: Have you caught yourself thinking you are too old for certain things that you used to enjoy as a child? Or perhaps you don’t even think about it any more. You have simply lost that child-like curiosity or fascination because that’s what grown ups must do. Well, I say hogwash! When it rains and you see a glimmer of sunshine, be the first one excited and anxiously seeking to spot that rainbow. Pause to witness things around you from a fresh set of eyes as if you are seeing something for the first time. You’ll be amazed at the fresh perspective you will gain in unexpected ways. Read for Pure Entertainment: Do you only read material related to the type of work you do or self-help motivational articles, books and audios to improve something about you or something in your life? When is the last time you read something for pure entertainment? Whether it is a novel, a classic, or a new best-seller, there is intrinsic value to reading that many people overlook. Reading fiction stimulates and nurtures your imagination. It forces you to envision based on the words you are reading, which taps into areas of your brain that have been dormant. By awakening these areas, you find that your way of thinking and viewing other things awakens as well.

Tickle Your Funny Bone: When is the last time you had a good belly-grabbing laugh? When is the last time you laughed out loud and felt it in your whole facial expression? I have a couple of goto movies when I know it is time for me to lighten up, and they do the trick every time! I also have some favorite memories with my daughters that whenever I reminisce, it immediately brings smiles, chuckles, and silliness that is beyond priceless. What could be your go-to funny bone tickler? Scientific studies have proven that laughter really is the best medicine. Go Outside and Play: If you love the heat of summer, then don’t allow yourself to be shut in from it. Get outside and enjoy it. Take a lunch break, if you never take one, and feed your spirit with something enjoyable for 30 minutes or an hour in the middle of the day. You deserve it. I also mean this metaphorically. Go outside of your normal routine and enjoy even everyday activities in a different way. Get out of your office or home and do something that you enjoy just for the pleasure of it. Turn Off the News: Part of the reason we as a society have gotten so much more serious is because it seems the only news is bad news based on the focus of the media. Add to this society’s tendency in general to focus on what is wrong versus what is right and it is no wonder we are caught in such a solemn mindset. I stumbled across a website called Good News Network ( www. goodnewsnetwork.org ), and am so grateful that I did. Turn off the negative news being fed to you in the media and by others and choose to embrace and celebrate what is good. Sure, it is great to be driven, highly productive and efficient at home and at work. It is also just as great to kick back, have some fun, and be enjoyable to be around while enjoying those around you. You will find that when you take some time to NOT take life so seriously, you will reveal a more resilient, gratifying and satisfying version of you.

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29

The Quest for the Perfect Sofa by Susan Guest, ASID

The sofa is one of the most important pieces of furniture in your home. Next to your mattress, you probably spend more time on your sofa than you realize. The Bureau of Labor Statistics found, in a 2011 study, that Americans spend an average of 2.7 hours daily watching TV. That is almost 19 hours per week or over 980 hours per year! This statistic does not count the time that we spend reading or other activities that are most likely done in a comfy seat. Thus my continuous quest for the perfect sofa…… My first one was purchased when I was in college using funds earned from design consulting for a fraternity house. After all, I was an expert since I had taken two design classes at the time! The sofa price was $600-quite an expense for a college student, and not the quality that I would have found in Hickory! The added bonus was having cute fraternity brothers deliver it to the apartment. The next sofa came along after I started working in Hickory as a young designer. It was a contemporary, Scandinavian design sporting soft navy leather. This beauty lasted for years until my first little greyhound unstuffed the bottom cushions and chewed a hole through the side. Sofa number three was acquired after a furniture company held a photo session at our home. When the crew was packing up after the shoot, I pointed to the sofa and asked if it could stay. It was beautiful, with clean lines and track pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

arms-quite modern. I reordered the back cushion fillers a couple of times because the dogs would sit on them for squirrel patrol. The next two sofas lasted a couple of years apiece. They were not expensive but did not wear well. The fabrics were not tightly woven and the cushions and frames were not substantial. This was not money well spent! For our 25th wedding anniversary, my hubby and I ordered a gorgeous teal velvet sofa with nail heads and spring down cushions with quilted fabric on the cushions. It took about 10 weeks to arrive, but was well worth the wait and the expense. I had a “blanket” made out of the same velvet to protect the sofa from the dogs (and us!). We remove the blanket for company and love to see the sofa in full glory. We plan to have this sofa for years. In all my experiences selling and owning sofas, I have learned so much. Some lessons were positive, some were not. When you are searching for your perfect sofa, there are some questions to consider: 1. How will you use the sofa? For example, a sofa that will be used by a family every day should be better quality than one used to stage a house. The one used in staging might be very fashionable, but might not have to be the best quality unless you have money to blow

and want to help the economy. A sofa that will go in a 2nd home like a beach house would not be the quality of one in the main residence. 2. How long do you want to use the sofa? If you purchase a higher end sofa, it will most likely last much longer. Eight-way hand tied springs and spring-down cushions tend to wear better than others, but are not available for all styles due to the construction. I have some clients who have well-crafted upholstery that was handed down by their parents. These pieces are given a new life when recovered and if necessary, cushions replaced. Sometimes recovering is less expensive than buying new, but this depends on the fabric cost, condition of the sofa, and the quality of the sofa. 3. Who will use the sofa? A sofa for a small 5’2” female should be smaller than one for a 6’5” male. The seat depth is very important in this instance. If you are buying for a couple who are at extremely polar heights, purchase a seat depth that compromises between the two. Another option is to buy the sofa for the one partner and purchase a recliner for the other. (I see this in many homes) If you plan to nap on the sofa, make sure that the arm height is good and that the interior is long enough for your needs.

Some general suggestions when searching for the perfect upholstery include selecting a tightly woven print or textured fabric for the covering. These will look better longer and show less dirt. If you plan to use the sofa a while, purchase the highest quality you can afford unless you can redecorate often. Hope these ideas and thoughts help you in your quest to find the perfect one. Your 2.7 hours of TV will be more enjoyable!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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2 Truly local, employee owned and operated

funeral services in 2the areaonlybecause “blends We conduct one service at aCornerstone time

David J. Evans, MD Obstetrician/Gynecologist, David J. Evans, MD Obstetrician/Gynecologist, 2 a Fullmore fleet of vans and transportation vehiclesphilosophy.� Affordable end-of-life solutions starting at $750. traditional modern, uplifting & Deanna Talbert, CNM, Certified Nurse Midwife values with 2 Inflation-proof pre-planning & Deanna Talbert, CNM, Certified Nurse Midwife A simple, respectful service should be provide a full range of obstetric and gynecologic Speak care to Dayne today about inflation-proof pre-planning. provide a full range of obstetric and gynecologic care in line with a family’s resources. at Laurel Park Women’s Health. Affordable end-of-life solutions starting at $750. at Laurel Park Women’s Health.

A828.572.3356 simple, respectful service should be $ in line with a family’s resources. Our Funeral Director Dayne Marsh has more than seven years

Call for an appointment at our new location: Call for an appointment at our new location:

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Did you know you can transfer a pre-planned funeral account? If our Laurel price is lower — Health Park Women’s Laurel Park Women’s Health and it almost certainly — inside Laurel Parkwill Medical be Pavilion inside Laurel Park Medical Pavilion you may have906 an unexpected windfall. College Avenue, Suite A, Lenoir 906 College Avenue, Suite A, Lenoir Caldwell Physicians, Laurel Park Women’s Health, Caldwell Physicians, Park Women’s Health, & FallsLaurel Medical Park Medical Park Hospital. are divisions&ofFalls Caldwell Memorial are divisions of Caldwell Memorial Hospital.

*Only the Lenoir office of Laurel Park Women’s Health has moved. *Only Lenoir office of Laurel Park Women’s Health hasPark. moved. Thethe Granite Falls office is still open inside Falls Medical The Granite Falls office is still open inside Falls Medical Park.

experience, participating in more than 300 services annually. He joined Cornerstone after working for one of the most respected funeral services in the area because Cornerstone “blends traditional values with a more modern, uplifting philosophy.�

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to Dayne today about inflation-proof pre-planning. OurSpeak Funeral Director Dayne Marsh has more than seven years experience, participating828.572.3356 in more than 300 services annually. He joined Cornerstone after working for one of the most respected funeral services in the area because Cornerstone “blends traditional values with a more modern, uplifting philosophy.� Did you know you can transfer a pre-planned funeral account? Speak to Dayne today about inflation-proof pre-planning. If our price is lower — 828.572.3356 and it almost certainly will be — you may have an unexpected windfall.

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30

Recipes for ife

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by Emily Wickham

Just as parents make sacrifices for their children, God made the ultimate sacrifice for His children. Sending His beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to earth, the Father gave Him on our behalf. Why? We’re sinners who desperately need a Savior. So Jesus came. He died to set us free. “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” Gal. 5:1, NASB I’m not sure we entirely grasp the ramifications of what Christ accomplished for us on the cross. At least I know I don’t. But as we ponder this tremendous truth, we first comprehend our freedom wasn’t free. It cost Jesus His life.

Food for the Body (Recipe from Jennifer Grisé)

Couscous & Veggie Salad 1 ½ cups water ¼ tsp. salt 1 cup uncooked couscous ¾ cup chopped cucumber ¾ cup chopped green pepper ¼ cup chopped onion 1 tomato, chopped 1 15 oz. can chick peas ¼ cup feta cheese

Today we laugh with amusement about that experience. Freedom to rest? What were we thinking?! Mothers of young children often operate on little sleep and fleeting periods of quiet. Liberties like sleeping in, finishing conversations, and going out whenever we want are limited due to the worthy responsibility of caring for small ones. Even so, diligent investment into the lives of our children more than pays off. Sacrificing on their behalf grants each son or daughter freedom to fully develop according to his/her God-given design.

Dressing 1 Tbsp. basil 1 tsp. oregano ¼ tsp. salt 2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar 2 Tbsp. olive oil

1. Combine dressing ingredients, blend well, and set aside. 2. In a medium saucepan, bring water and salt to a boil. Remove from heat and stir in couscous. Cover; let stand 5 minutes. Fluff with fork and cool 20 minutes. 3. In a large bowl, combine couscous with remaining salad ingredients except cheese. Pour dressing over salad, tossing gently to coat. Refrigerate 30 minutes. Sprinkle with cheese right before serving.

A Prayer for God’s Blessing Father in Heaven, You are love perfectly expressed in Your beautiful Son, who died to set me free. I confess the times I take this for granted, and I thank You for the marvelous benefits freedom in Christ affords. Please help me experience it daily by standing in grace. In Jesus’ beloved name, Amen.

Food for the Soul Fondly I recall savoring this flavorful salad during a particularly memorable occasion. My sister and I were vacationing at the beach … or so we had planned. But with six children between us at the time—all under the age of 5—the term “vacation” assumed new meaning. Envisioning restful times during which we could enjoy meaningful conversation, thinking we’d be free to kick back and relax, we excitedly coordinated our trip. Yet from arrival to departure, we pretty much worked: unloading numerous baby items, feeding and caring for our kids, applying sun lotion to squirming children, cleaning up the rental house, and so on. Quickly we realized that with our precious children, rest wasn’t on the horizon. Perhaps the most I received was sitting on the porch enjoying this zesty couscous salad.

“knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold … but with precious blood … the blood of Christ.” 1 Pet. 1:18-19 Secondly, we ascertain that Christ set us free … to stay free. Wow— what an absolutely beautiful, freeing truth. Christianity isn’t about trying harder, serving more, or working persistently to obtain God’s love and favor. He bestows these on us despite who we are or what we do. By placing our faith in the perfect Person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ, we’re saved from sin’s penalty and set free to live for Him. In Romans 5:2, Christians are called to stand in grace, ever experiencing freedom in Christ. Because of Jesus… • We’re new: “Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature…” 2 Cor. 5:17 • Sin doesn’t control us, nor does the law: “For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law, but under grace.” Rom. 6:14 • We can fully develop according to our God-given design. Responding to God’s love, we complete His purposes for us: “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Eph. 2:10 • We’re free! “If therefore the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.” Jn. 8:36 As we celebrate our American freedoms this July 4th, let’s also pause to appreciate the eternal freedom we enjoy in Christ. Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life… Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close! relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.

Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotions and to learn more about life in Christ. Connect with Emily on Facebook at www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/ emilywickhamPH Please contact Emily about speaking at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences by e-mailing emily@ proclaiminghimtowomen.com. Emily, who is grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her wonderful husband and their four treasured children in western NC.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33

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Tips For Perfectly Grilled Vegetables (MS) -- One of the highlights of the summer season is the incredible bounty of fresh produce, and grilling these vegetables gives them a smoky, delicious dimension. Chef BBQ Naz, a grilling expert from Broil King, shares some simple tips for flavor perfection. * When preparing vegetables, slice them to expose as much of the vegetable to the grill surface as you can. * Coat vegetables with olive oil before placing them on the grill. This will help prevent them from sticking to the grill. * Use the right tool for the job. Accessories like grill toppers and skewers are perfect for keeping smaller foods like cherry tomatoes and onions from rolling around or falling through the grate. * Don’t leave vegetables unattended. Vegetables are delicate and can easily overcook if not monitored. * Grill extras. Leftover grilled vegetables are great in soups, salads, sandwiches and on pizzas and pasta. When grilling vegetables, consider this popular recipe.

Grilled Zucchini Rolls Ingredients

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3 medium zucchinis, sliced 1/4-inch thick, lengthwise 1 tablespoon olive oil 4 ounces chevre (soft goat cheese), at room temperature Pinch of freshly ground black pepper Pinch of kosher salt 2 tablespoons sun-dried tomatoes, oil-packed and minced 1 teaspoon oil from the sun-dried tomatoes 1 teaspoon fresh thyme, minced 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese, freshly grated Directions • • • • •

•

Preheat the grill on medium. Brush both sides of sliced zucchini with olive oil and sprinkle with salt. Place on the grill and cook for 4 minutes per side. When cooked, set on a wire rack to cool. In a small bowl, combine the chevre, salt, pepper, sun-dried tomatoes, oil and thyme. Using a small spatula, spread the cheese mixture thinly over one side of the zucchini. Lightly roll the zucchini, and place seam side down on a small, parchment-lined baking sheet. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Place baking sheet on top rack of the grill for 15 minutes. Remove to a platter and serve.

Additional recipes and a complete vegetable grilling guide can be found at www.broilkingbbq.com.

pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35

The Cab Ride I’ll Never Forget by Kent Nerburn on a Most Profound Cab Ride Printed with Permission

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One time I arrived in the middle of the night for a pick up at a building that was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” answered a frail, elderly voice.

I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware. “Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. “It’s nothing,” I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?” “It’s not the shortest way,” I answered quickly.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.” I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

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pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

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“I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to take?” I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.” We drove in silence to the address she had given me.

It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

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“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse. “Nothing,” I said.

“You have to make a living,” she answered. “There are other passengers.”

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. “You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.” I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

Abernethy Laurels A full service retirement community in Newton

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life. We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware—beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

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pg 38 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | July 2014

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Our Monthly Feature

shutterbuggerz Here are some of the photos from our June Showcase!

Submitted by Allen Finley

Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!

s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m www.shutterbuggerz.com

39

Submitted by Elements Photography

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  

  

   

“Equipping Children Today To Become God’s Leaders Tomorrow.”

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