VOLUME 10 - ISSUE 4 / JUNE 2014
S
phie Woman’s Magazine
INSIDE:
Girlfriends In God ~ Are Happy Endings Really Possible? | Page 14 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ Don’t Miss Your Moment of Influence | Page 6 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are You The Princess or the Pea? | Page 29 shutterbuggerz pg 36
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
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Heart
from the
From The Editor: Judy Smith
Last month we honored our Mothers but now it is Dad’s turn. There is an old saying I love that inspires a precious image in my mind. It goes like this: “A father is a fellow who has replaced the currency in his wallet with the snapshots of his kid.” -Anonymous There is another saying that I always try to remember. Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12 The hard thing about that one is: it does not say to honor your father or mother if they were a great father or mother. I struggled with that for years because of my parents alcoholism but God blessed me with His truth. Even though my parents are gone, I earnestly try to honor them. Father’s Day has a very interesting history embedded in it. The thought for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. The idea of having a Father’s Day came to the mind of Sonora Smart while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909. After the death of her mother, she along with her siblings were raised by her father, William Jackson Smart. Sonora wanted to tell her father how special he was and what role he played in her life. She wanted to honor her father’s parental sacrifices that he made for his children. She wanted him to know what courageous, selfless and loving man he was. Since Sonora’s father was born in June, she chose to hold the first Father’s Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June in the year 1910. The National Father’s Day Committee was formed in New York City in 1926. A Joint Resolution of Congress recognized the Father’s day in 1956 and in 1966; President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father’s Day to be held on the third Sunday of June. Thus, Father’s Day was born in memory and appreciation by a daughter who believed that her father and all other fathers should be honored with a special day just like mothers are honored on Mother’s Day. It is a day to celebrate fatherhood and male parenting.
This story has been around for a long time and you have probably heard it before. If you have, it is worth repeating and if you have not, let it sink in: Jonathan’s mother died when he was very young and his father brought him up. Both of them shared a very special relationship. Jonathan loved to play football and his father made sure that he was always there to cheer his son at every match, even if Jonathan wasn’t a part of the playing team. Jonathan being small sized, wasn’t allowed to play in the main team. Nevertheless, he continued with his practice with full determination. Everyone thought that Jonathan would never be able to make it into the team, though somehow, his determination carried him through. The coach seeing his diligence and dedication decided to keep him on the roster. One day during practice, the coach met him with a telegram. Jonathan was shocked to read the message contained in it. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, “My father died this morning. Will it be all right if I miss practice today?” The coach gently put his arm around his shoulder and said, “Take the rest of the week off, son, and don’t even plan to come to the game on Saturday.” On the day of the game, Jonathan’s college team was losing badly to the rival team. The coach and the players had all lost hope when they saw Jonathan coming towards them. Jonathan ran up to the coach and pleaded him to allow him to play this match. At first, the coach wouldn’t allow him to play. However after a lot of persuasion, the coach gave in. No sooner Jonathan joined the team in the field, their scores started to improve before both the teams were in a tie. However, the real cheer came during the crucial closing seconds when he intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. His team members were ecstatic. The crowd came running towards him to celebrate the win. After the match, the coach went up to Jonathan, who was seated alone in the corner of the locker room and asked, “Kid, I can’t believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?” He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, “Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?” The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, “Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!” Happy Fathers Day and I hope you read this quote below and that it brings memories and laughter to your heart!
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.
~Quote by Jimmy Piersal, 1968
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phie Woman’s Magazine
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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Father’s Day Ideas..................................................pg 5 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 6 Sophisticated Women............................................pg 8 The Front Porch......................................................pg 11 AreYou Stealing Life Lessons FromYourTeenager?pg 12 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 14 There Is Coming A Day......................................................pg 16 Blackberry Festival..............................................pg 18 Pinwheels: A Lesson In Life...............................pg 20 Red, White, & Bluegrass...................................pg 22 Plan A Unique Wedding........................................pg 24 What’s Happening In Catawba County?...........pg 26 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 29 So, You Just Got Married....................................pg 30 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 33 I’m A Lover Not A Fighter..................................pg 34 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 35
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Here Are Some Ideas For Dad!
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June
6th - Harris Brothers 20th - Silvio Martinat Swing Band 27th - Matt Stratford Band
July
18th - Tim Hall & Buffalo Country 25th - The Logic
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Annual 4th of July Celebration
This years event will be held on Friday, July 4, 2014 and will be held at the Mulberry Recreation Center. It will include games, races, children’s activities, food, live entertainment and the best fireworks show in the county.
LENOIR PARKS & RECREATION PO Box 958 -- 720 Mulberry St., Lenoir, NC 28645 Administrative (828)757-2165 Fax (828) 758-1315 www.cityoflenoir.com SOME OF LPRD’S UPCOMING PROGRAMS
Lenoir Aquatic and Fitness Center Outdoor Pool Summer Season
* Open from May 24th - Labor Day * Recreational Swimming Times Monday - Thursday 1-6 pm & 7-8:30 pm Fridays 1-6 pm Saturday 10am - 4:30 pm Sunday 1 - 4:30 pm *Outdoor slides will not be operational during the 7-8:30 pm times during the week. *When Caldwell County Schools are having school, slides will only be open on weekends.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Don’t Miss Your Moment Of Influence
by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author
I am a “noticer”. I notice people and situations more keenly than some. Please allow me to share a recent personal story that highlights, not my place in this story, but some of what I noticed as the scenario unfolded. A few days ago, I accompanied a friend to Wal-mart to grab some last-minute travel supplies. It was late afternoon and we quickly noticed a family of four, including two small children, in the median holding a cardboard sign. As we got closer, we could clearly read that the sign requested specific items for the children, such as formula and diapers. The couple looked exhausted and like they had just spent their last ounce of hope. The friend with whom I was traveling has taught me a lot about not jumping impulsively into situations. This wisdom was gained the hard way in her young life growing up homeless and in domestic violence. More importantly, we are both women of faith who know that a bit of prayer will release much of what we need to know to walk into a situation. So, with our collective wisdom, we positioned ourselves where we could discretely observe for a moment. I was most moved by the absolute apathy with which the other cars passed by. No one waved, no one greeted, no one stopped to help. With each passing car, the hopelessness on their faces escalated. The sun was literally setting on their needs and they were mentally preparing to go home empty-handed and hungry. We circled back around, parked at a respectable distance to not startle the children, and beckoned for an adult to come speak with us. The wife approached tentatively, speaking softly and kindly in a broken accent. We inquired of her name and her home. She explained that they had just moved here from California where they could not afford to live any longer. But her husband has not found work here. They were originally from Romania. We then asked what they need. She dropped her eyes to the ground and said simply, “Food just for tonight.” We pressed a bit further, expanding her vision to the next days so they would not have to repeat this process tomorrow. We offered to shop for them and return with the items … she agreed to wait. I had a few extra dollars from an unexpected “Payday” and my friend contributed the wisdom on how to shop for a family in poverty who might not have a home, let alone a microwave. We added some extras to their humble requests and returned. This time, as we parked, the husband approached us to receive the items we had purchased for them. With each bag, he replied, “Too much, too much.” As we had passed off the last of our purchases, he took my hand gently, brought it toward his face, and kissed it, pausing to place his face against the back of my hand. Something happened in that moment. It was almost as if the entire scenario replayed in
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
my heart in slow motion. The noticer in me began to recognize a few thoughts worth encapsulating and passing along. I will note them here so that you can be more equipped to raise your personal antenna to the vast need around you and then be led by true wisdom on where to act: 1. You can bring HOPE by simply choosing to CONNECT with a smile or a kind word. I fully believe that we could have impacted this young family with far less items in the cart simply by showing that we saw them and cared about their situation. Learn to offer small acts daily to stay connected to the most important things in life… reaching out in faith and encouraging our brothers and sisters. 2. It might be YOU who increases someone’s VISION. We had to gently nudge this family to allow us to purchase 3 days of food instead of just a meal. Work on taking steps to clarify the big picture in your life and for those around you. Being a visionary will break you out of the mundane and set you on a path of great adventure. 3. Remember that you are NOT ALONE. My friend and I brought complimentary gifts of wisdom and resources to this moment. Without her, I would have likely purchased items which would have been less appropriate. 4. Create kindness and COMPASSION in your heart and the heart of your companions by linking arms to bless and be blessed. 5. Show GRATITUDE. The way in which this gentleman showed his deep gratitude will be with me for a long time to come. You don’t have to kiss a hand… but it might not hurt either! Don’t get so busy or so focused that you miss divine moments to reach beyond yourself, stretch your own faith and share your abundance of resources. That one strategy alone holds the power to humble an individual while changing a community.
Kim would love to share these principles and more with your group or organization, with topics ranging from identity/goals/vision to developing the leader within. Kim would also love to hear your life and leadership impact stories. You may contact her team of coaches and speakers directly at: www.kimfletcherassociates. com / kimfletchercoach@aol.com. To support Kim’s growing effort to live out her missionary vision, visit and donate at: www.lifecompassinternational.org.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
Sophisticated Women... Figure It Out! By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
A
sophisticated woman figures things out. As an obstacle comes her way, she doesn’t allow it and its potential unknown impact to thwart her efforts. No. Instead, she takes on the obstacle with a deep-seated knowing that “I have figured things out before and I’ll figure this thing out too!” So why does one women default to drama or create even more chaos, in her own life while another woman simply moves toward the obstacle with determination? It’s an issue of confidence. I recently sat under the teaching of Mary Foley, a speaker and author, who gave me a precious gift of insight and a new mental model to live into. Mary explained in her program that confidence is not having this thought process, “I know exactly what to do, when to do it and have no doubts about doing it.” Instead, it is having this thought process, “I know I can figure it out.” The “I figure things out” mental model doesn’t come naturally. It comes with experience. But, most importantly it comes from taking stock of the experiences of the things you have figured out. In her presentation, Mary challenged the audience to take 90 seconds to share with a partner all the things each woman has had to figure out in her own life time. She explained that you start in your childhood and begin to recite all the unexpected challenges that you have overcome as well as the goals you have achieved. I was blown away by the power of this exercise. My partner in the challenge was a woman in her sixties. She told me: I figured out how to send my son off to prep school. I didn’t want him to go but it was best. I figured out how to send my baby girl to college. I figured out how to live without my daddy in my 20’s. I figured out how to be a good mother in law. I figured out how to deal with my husband’s illness. I figured out how to help my mother with dementia. I figured out how to keep a business going while loving my family. As I listened to her state these amazing achievements, my perspective (mind, heart and soul) was seriously shifted. Reading this list, did you get that same sense? Are you in awe of this woman? Do you see how capable, accomplished, and sophisticated she really is? I imagine your response is a whole-hearted, “YES!” How can anyone miss the incredible virtue, character, skills and talents this woman has displayed over her lifetime? Obviously, this sophisticated woman has these virtues and character traits: courage, generosity, decisiveness, resourcefulness, and conscientiousness. It’s apparent that this woman has these skills/talents: organization, diplomacy, caretaking, and customer service…and the list could go on and on. Of course, I had my turn. After being inspired by my partner’s list, I jumped right into my own list of things that I have had to figure out in my own lifetime. As I shared how I had figured out how to overcome
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
my own obstacles, I was awash in confidence. I saw my own virtues, my own character traits, my own skills, and my own talents. I noticed how really sophisticated I can be. That kind of insight is priceless. Notice, notice, notice that I emphasize the word own in the previous sentence. As a sophisticated woman, both you and I must OWN our ability to figure things out. I implore you to do Mary’s exercise with my twist, which is listing your virtues/character traits and skills/talents. I guarantee you; it will increase your confidence.
The “I Figured It Out“ Exercise: An Exercise to Increase Your Confidence Step One - Make a list of all the things you have ever had to figure out. But instead of limiting yourself to 90 seconds, sit with this exercise and try to be exhaustive. Perhaps you could make a point of coming back to this work once a day for a period of time until you are deeply aware of your uncanny ability to figure things. Step Two - Look at each situation. What virtues/character traits did you use to figure out these situations? Make a list. Step Three - Look at each situation. What skills/talents did you use to figure out these situations? Make a list. Step Four - Read your list. Step Five - OWN IT!
Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilites! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be succesful or happy.
~ Nomarn Vincent Peale
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9
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pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
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Front The
Porch
by Judy Smith
Yep, Vacation time is here.
It is mostly just my husband and I now, especially if we are going for a week. Now don’t get me wrong. I love the time with just the two of us but I miss the family vacations when the kids were younger. We have had some amazing adventures being on vacation. We always reserved the same spot for years at a Motel in Myrtle Beach. They had a separate house from the motel that was two stories so you could rent the top or the bottom. Since finances were strained with five children, we always tried considering how to save some money. The pool was the favorite cheap spot. The day we arrived, we barely got checked in and all the kids wanted to go swimming. Not everyone had previously had an opportunity for some sun, especially me. So I told them we could for a short while today because I did not want anyone to get burned….especially me. You probably know where this story is going. The more I tried to herd them in, the more they begged to stay out and of course, my husband, being the sucker….I mean, the nice guy that he is, kept saying just a few more minutes. That “few more minutes” turned into the worse sun burn I have ever in my life had. Two days I spent in the bed aching at every little touch! All the kids were happy. They got more time at the pool than planned and my husband was happy. The most money we spent for three days was on aloe lotion and aspirin.
You can imagine we were not that happy about driving all that distance for them to complain every time we headed out the door. We did prevail and had an amazing time exploring all the incredible sights and museums. That is, if you ignored all the complaining about how hot it was and they could be cooling off at the pool. After a number of years and happy memories, for our next vacation, we decided to put in a pool. That year we were content to just hang out and cool off. That is till the kids kept asking where we were going to go for our vacation. What kind of vacation stories do you have? Do you and your family do things that make memories? Here is one vacation story I think you will get a kick out of as told by an anonymous kid. My dad uses some connections to reserve us an island to camp on in the Gulf of Mexico. The island is tiny, and we are the only people camping there. The largest animal on the island is probably a rabbit. I am eight, and my brother is three. The week we are there, low tide is around 11 PM, and my parents leave to go and look for shells. I was never very good at sleeping, and so I decide to follow after them. Eventually, they run into me on the beach. Dad: “[My name] is that you?” Me: “Yes, Daddy!” Dad: “Do you know what time it is?” Me: “Dark.” Dad: “Yes. Why aren’t you asleep in the tent?” Me: “There’s a bear attacking the tent. It scared me.” Dad: “Baby, there aren’t any bears on the island. Why do you think there’s a bear attacking the tent?” Me: “I heard it. It growled, and banged on the wall.” Mom: “Where’s your baby brother? Me: “He was asleep already. I left him for the bear to eat.” I would love to hear your vacation story!
One of the greatest times we had was when we went to Washington DC. Not all the kids went because by this time some of them were getting older and had other things to keep them here. Two of the girls were so “delighted” to go. They just could not wait to get all that education stored in their brains. We got to the place we were staying and being so anxious to get started exploring, we asked them where did they want to start. Their answer….”the pool of course”.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
Are You Stealing Life Lessons From Your Teenager? by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC Sadly, more and more parents appear to be stealing from their teenagers these days. No, they aren’t stealing money, electronic devices, clothing, jewelry or any other material possession from their teen. Instead, they are robbing their teens from learning how to clean up their mess. Even though I can easily point out the clutter that exists in each of my teen’s backpacks, personal spaces and for that matter their entire room, the messes to which I am referring are the mud puddles that splash on my teens as result of poor decisions or impulsive choices. These are problems that impact their grades, relationships, reputation, emotional stability and often their bank account. What happened to the adage, “You mess it up, you clean it up”?! When this simple little maxim is applied to situations that teenagers regularly create, then kids have the albeit uncomfortable opportunity to learn how to clean up after themselves. These stressful yet powerful opportunities can empower them to become independent, self-confident, humble, and godly young men and women. When these dilemmas are robbed from them by parents or other adults who think it is their job to clean up their teen’s mess, social, emotional and spiritual growth is almost always stifled. Like any other parent of a teen, I must admit that there are certainly situations where I have felt compelled to jump in, fix, disguise, minimize or even dismiss a mess that my teen has caused. Recently, one of my teens chose to make a flippant comment about a teacher behind their back. The teacher heard about it and understandably became angry. While very hurtful remarks were indeed expressed, unfortunately a peer chose to distort the comment when he shared them with other people. Eventually, an administrator asked to discuss the remarks and the consequences they would receive. Feelings of compassion coupled with anger were swirling within me. How could they say something like that to others? And, why would another kid embellish the comment as he told other kids and adults? Wedged between these emotions, I also felt a measure of insecurity growing within as I imagined what this teacher thought about my parenting! Thankfully, that motto I mentioned earlier scrolled through my mind. Mess it up, clean it up. Instantly, I knew this was not mine to clean up. Instead, my job was to 1) Listen to my teen 2) Allow his heart to be exposed (the deceit as well as the good intention) 3) Speak the truth in love with regard to their words and actions 4) Offer wisdom and guidance on cleaning up the mess they made. Of course, my teenager was resistant to the idea of talking with the teacher to make amends. No teenager enjoys dealing with their disasters. Most would rather ignore it, dismiss it or have someone else clean it up for them. Nonetheless, opportunities like these are not given to us so that we can steal the lesson right out from underneath them. They can be used to help our teenagers grow socially, emotionally, and spiritually while they figure out how to be the captain of the clean-up crew. The teen years are critical years where kids are vacillating between a regressed child and an
emergent adult. Parents and adults play a vital role in promoting growth and development of teens so they have the opportunity to become a man or woman of great integrity. Consider your role in the next difficult issue your teen is facing and ask yourself these questions. • Is this problem really mine to fix in the first place? Or does it belong to my teenager? • Am I rescuing my teen by shielding them from the consequences, instead of releasing them to experience emotional discomfort while they figure out a reasonable solution to their problem? • Am I stuck in the middle of their day to day drama in relationships at home, work, or school instead of letting them stumble through the ups and downs of the social scene (even if they get scratched and bruised along the way)? • Am I enabling them to become overly dependent upon me to fix their mistakes instead of empowering them to do it on their own? • Am I feeding entitlement or fostering humility? More and more, I hear older adults complain about the lack of independence, humility, work ethic and character in today’s teens and young adults. Without a doubt, many problems at home and in our culture in general are prohibiting kids from developing these qualities. Nonetheless, I think most of us can agree that these traits tend to bloom within a person when they have had to learn how to maneuver themselves through troubling, sticky and often embarrassing challenges that life throws at each one of
us. Together, let us commit to be parents who can intentionally equip our teens to learn how to clean up their own messes so that a “harvest of righteousness and peace” may be produced within them. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Hebrews 12:11-13
Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor. For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.
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Are Happy Endings Really Possible? by Gwen Smith
Today’s Truth
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him (Psalm 32:2, NIV).
Friend to Friend
I love a good story. I love stories filled with drama, mystery, action, honesty, hope, grit, tension, release, passion, restoration, and redemption. My favorite stories, however, combine many of these elements and finish with a happy-ending. My heart beats big for happy-ending stories. There have been days in my life that have been heavy on the tension and light on the release. Moments when I’ve felt deep pain and longed for deep peace. Weeks when hope evaded my heart because I had chosen to turn from God’s way and defiantly chose Gwen’s way. Season’s when I felt like I had messed up so bad that a happy-ending for my life was simply impossible. Have you ever felt that way? Like there was a great chasm between your life and a happy-ending? Have you ever felt like you were in a situation, a relationship, or a condition that was un-healable, un-helpable, and un-redeemable? I sure have. I think we all have. Luke 7 introduces us to a woman who endured her shattered, jagged life publicly. I bet she probably felt like there could never be a happy-ending for her life. Like hope and healing were for other people, not for her. She was guilty of something, though we are never told what. She is simply described as a woman “who had lived a sinful life.” Though she is nameless to you and me, the people of her town surely knew her name. The Pharisees knew enough to condemn her with judgmental thoughts. Her sin was public, not private. Yet the public disgrace of this broken, sinful woman became the perfect canvas for Jesus Christ to paint a beautiful picture of extravagant grace. “Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.” (Luke 7:36-38, NIV)
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
Imagine what a scandalous moment this must have been. I’m sure the host was wondering how this uninvited woman managed to get into his home. We know his mind was racing, because the next few verses tell us so: When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.” Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said. “Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven”(Luke 7:3948). Imagine the freedom that flooded her soul when this woman looked up, through tear-filled eyes, into the face of grace for the very first time. Jesus looked beyond her reputation to her regret. Then He forgave her. Not because she had earned forgiveness, but because Jesus loved her. She was forgiven much, so she loved Him much. Oh, how I can relate to this sinful woman. The love that resides in my heart is so great because the sins I’ve been forgiven of are so many. Jesus still loves to extend grace, and I am so thankful.
Grace! What none of us deserves, but each of us longs for. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). Why would He lay down His life for you, for me, and for all humanity? In one word: love. Perfect, unconditional, doesn’t-matter-who-you-are-or-where-you’ve-been-or-whatyou’ve-done love. God made a way, through Jesus, for our wounded hearts to be restored... so that everyone of us could experience deep peace, love, forgiveness, and hope. Welcome to your happy-ending story. It’s available to each of us who turn our hearts to Him. What does that look like in your life? Confess your sins to God, ask Him for forgiveness, believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior and receive the gift of God’s grace. Then “Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always” (Psalm 105:4). Thus begins your happy ending. The End.
Let’s Pray
Heavenly Father, You are above all and beyond all! You are mighty to save, gracious to forgive, and merciful to forget all that I’ve done wrong. I praise You for who You are, and thank You for the grace that is at work in my heart and in my life. Help me to cast aside everything that keeps me from You today, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.
We’re In This Together!
Now It’s Your Turn
Have you experienced the wonder of grace at work in your life? In what ways? Grab your journal and summarize it in one sentence – or click over to my blog or my Facebook page and post your sentence. Do you extend that same grace to others? Spend a few moments in prayer. Thank God for His grace. Print or write out this verse: “Those who look on him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. (Psalm 34:5) Memorize it and allow it to serve as a reminder that in Christ you are a new creation, and viewed as radiant by our holy Lord.
More from the Girlfriends
Are you struggling to trust that God’s love can bring beauty to your life? Learn how God wants to bring you beyond your past heart-wounds and your present challenges to His wholeness, strength and beauty. Broken into Beautiful is a book filled with stories – real stories … gritty and honest, not cleaned up and phony. It’s also filled with Scripture that will inspire you toward the life-changing grace of Jesus. To order the book, go to Amazon or, for a signed copy, visit our webstore.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
There is Coming a Day! by Stefanie Hutcheson
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. [I Corinthians 13:12} Can you just imagine the day? The day when all of the mysteries, the misunderstandings, and the messes are made clear? The day when all that separated us from one another, from the truth, and from love is no longer an issue? Like me, do you ever wish someone could see who you really are, could hear you without you even speaking a word, and could love you more than they love the lies and themselves? It’s coming! Right now, the devil has many of us blinded. His job is to make us confused, to doubt, to not trust, to not forgive. He’s doing it well! He has us thinking of one another as backbiters. He has walls built up between us and those we care most about that he certainly doesn’t want torn down, and he certainly doesn’t want any reconciliation to take place. He puts mistrust in our hearts so that when our fellow man gets a promotion or things that we feel that should have been ours (or at least partly ours) we are left feeling cheated. This leads to anger, hostility, resentment, and--if we aren’t careful--to hatred. God doesn’t want it this way. Remember the beginning of this chapter? I Corinthians 13 is often labeled the “Love Chapter” of the Bible. I did many of my blogs on those verses back in February, replacing the word “love” with my own. For instance:
pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
Stefanie is patient and kind. Stefanie is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Stefanie does not demand Stefanie’s own way. Stefanie is not irritable, and Stefanie keeps no record of being wronged. Stefanie does not rejoice about injustice but Stefanie rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Stefanie never gives up, Stefanie never loses faith, Stefanie is always hopeful, and Stefanie endures through every circumstance. Sigh. Let’s face it. Life is going to get us down. We are going to be misunderstood, taken for granted, lied to, cheated on, judged harshly, irritated, and not get the things we have worked so hard for while another one prospers. Folks: we have got to rise above these injustices! We have got to keep fighting the good fight of faith! We have to endure through EVERY circumstance. As much as the devil tries to make us feel like we are in it alone, we aren’t. Jesus will take these burdens and make them light. He will fight our battles if we let Him have control. And yes, He will be victorious in all of this and one day, one sweet day, the truth will come out. It won’t always be dim, for how could it be when He is the Light of the world? Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love {I Corinthians 13:13}. Don’t give up and don’t give in. The best is yet to come!
Stefanie is the author of a blog that depicts her wanderings and ponderings through life. You may find it on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/WanderingThroughTheBible
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
Something’s Always Happening In • Dr. Seuss Parade On Mulberry Street - March • Downtown Cruise-Ins - First Saturdays "QSJM December • NC Gravity Games - April • Festival In The Park (Multi-Cultural) May • Cycle To Serve Lenoir Rotary Cycling Event - May • Pop Ferguson Blues Festival - June • Friday After Five on the Square - Music Fri. Nights +VOF "VHVTU • Fabulous Family Films - Saturday Nights +VOF %FDFNCFS • NC Blackberry Festival - July • Harambee Festival - "VHVTU • Sculpture Celebration - September • Howl-a-Palooza - Film, Zombie Run and More - October • Downtown Trick R Treat - October • Art Around Caldwell - Gallery and Studio Tours • Caldwell Rotary Christmas Festival -November • Light Up Lenoir / Christmas Light Show - November • Lenoir Christmas Parade - December • Satie’s Gallery Holiday Sale- December
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pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
JUL
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an you imagine the mouth-watering taste of homemade blackberry cobbler? Stop dreaming and experience it July 12, 2014 at the N.C. Blackberry Festival in Historic Downtown Lenoir. Visitors to the NC Blackberry Festival often ask what makes it different from other small town festivals. The answer is easy: the BLACKBERRIES and the hometown folks who unite to bake more than 225 individual blackberry cobblers that comprise the World’s Largest Patchwork of Blackberry Cobbler. Amidst the excitement generated by the more than 13,000 attendees, the crowd stands in amazement as children of all ages march the homemade cobblers into town in the ceremonial Colossal Cobbler Parade Brigade. The cobblers are carefully placed into a patchwork quilt pattern while bystanders anxiously wait. Following a brief pause for pictures, volunteers rush in for the official moment all have anticipated – the time for tasting. Free servings are given out until the cobbler is gone. No, the NC Blackberry Festival is no ordinary small town festival; it is a true community festival where visitors become friends in the blink of an eye. Blackberries are the theme for the day. Fresh blackberries as big as a man’s thumb, blackberry ice cream, blackberry pastries, blackberry smoothies, BLACKBERRIES GALORE! This festival is held the second Saturday in July, but the celebration begins on Friday evening. Guests enjoy a recipe contest, Parking Lot Pickin’ competition, and great culinary and beverage options in the downtown restaurants. The recipe competition is open to all age groups, and blackberry entries can be found in every category. Extraordinary jams, jellies, cakes and pies are mainstays. But blackberry-infused salsas, appetizers,
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and entrees bring unexpected delight to the judges. Even the audience is invited to sample entries. Winners walk away with cash and bragging rights for an entire year. The Blackberry Shuffle 5K and Fun Run kick off the day’s events, followed by the Blackberry Princess Pageant. The youth and adult eating competitions always promise to be loads of fun. After the World’s Largest Patchwork of Blackberry Cobbler is shared, various musicians perform live on Main Stage in the afternoon. Vendors come from far and wide to display their handcrafted and artisan merchandise throughout the streets of Lenoir. Don’t miss the special Berry Market Area where local farmers and state blackberry growers sell produce they have grown with hard work and dedication. For the wine connoisseurs, several area wineries offer their bottled nectars. Many local shops and area businesses showcase their services. The children’s area offers the traditional inflatables and bounce house type activities. The ever popular train returns again this year to transport festival goers along the streets throughout the day. In an effort to attract more artisan vendors to the festival, young artists are invited to display their art work in our free children’s area. Historic Downtown Lenoir is located just off US Hwy. 321. In addition to the NC Blackberry Festival, Lenoir is home to celebrations and unique events throughout the year. For more information, visit ExploreCaldwell.com or NCBlackberryFestival.com It will be a BERRY good time!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19
Pinwheels are a staple of childhood. They are so simplistic in their design, but seem magical to a toddler. JC was playing with a pinwheel last night, or at least trying to. He knew that blowing on it should make it spin, but it wasn’t quite working for him. He couldn’t get his mouth puckered the right way to blow a single stream of air. His attempt was more like a heavy breath so the pinwheel wouldn’t move. He struggles with mouth movements (which is part of his issue with speech) and only recently successfully “puckered up” for a kiss :)
Pinwheels: A lesson in Life Submitted by Kim Eroh
As the pinwheel sat lifeless, his frustration level started to rise so I sat beside him to help. We both held the stem and we sat face to face with the pinwheel between us. As he would blow his heavy breath, I would secretly blow a directed stream of air to make the pinwheel turn. His eyes lit up with excitement! Once again, he faltered the mouth position and tried his best to blow - as I blew and the pinwheel started to spin he squealed with delight. This continued for quite some time and as I sat there I realized what an amazing moment this was. It wasn’t just playtime with a pinwheel, it was a moment when we were both acting as one. I was replacing his breath with mine. I was filling in the blanks where he wasn’t able to do so. I was providing a chance for him to succeed where he had previously failed. It was an opportunity to show JC that even those things that frustrate him can be overcome... that by perservering through difficulties magical things can happen. Maybe next time he picks up the pinwheel, I won’t be right there using my breath to make it spin, and maybe he will again be frustrated that his efforts are in vain. But then again, maybe he will remember that it CAN be done and he will keep trying. At that moment, I felt that fleeting feeling that I was making the world easier for my little guy. And I wished that every frustration could be eliminated that easily. I would breathe every breath for him, to make his world easier.
JC’s Mom I am the mother of a child with Sensory Processing Disorder. I am not a doctor, psychologist or therapist. All information that I share is based on my experience and my opinion, although I will research topics that I write about.
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
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V
BLUEGRASS CAMP FOR KIDS TICKET OFFICE: CoMMA: Call 828-433-7469 or 800-939-7469 Nominated for IBMA “Bluegrass Event of the Year�
June 26th - June 28th – 2014
Info: Gary W. Leonhardt
828-439-1866
Catawba Meadows Park (River Stage)
3ANFORD $R -ORGANTON .# s ,ATITUDE Â g s ,ONGITUDE Â g
RedWhiteandBluegrassFestival.com s 4ICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE
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Back in the early 1980’s, the Recreation Department of The City of Morganton decided to have a ďŹ reworks display on the 4th of July. A small amount of money was set aside and a few ďŹ reworks were obtained from the neighboring state of South Carolina. That evening, about dark, there was about 10-15 minutes of ďŹ reworks on the campus of Western Piedmont Community College. Such was the beginning...
5/15/14 11:01:05 AM
Within a few years this event (with professional ďŹ reworks) began gathering crowds which eventually outgrew the facilities of the campus of WPCC. TrafďŹ c problems which sprang from the site being located very close to Interstate 40, forced the ďŹ reworks to move to the Burke County Fairgrounds. Now, nearly 30 years later, what had become an annual event (which DID include music of all varieties) is quickly becoming one of the premier bluegrass festivals in the southeastern United States. In 2004, the annual 4th of July celebration became the ďŹ rst annual Red White and Bluegrass Festival. That ďŹ rst year was a 2 day event. Eventually it became a 3 day event, then a 4 day event in 2006. In 2010 it became a 5 day festival, beginning June 30th through the 4th of July.
Go Ahead....
I Dare You!
So far, we have had visitors from all states in the continental United States and many foreign countries as well. Visitors from Canada, England, Switzerland, Germany, France and Japan have all come to enjoy bluegrass in our North Carolina town.
Photos by Mike Lane Photography
Thurs. June 26 Friday June 27 2:30 ToneBlazers 4:00 Eddie Rose & Highway Forty 6:30 The Lost and Found 8:00 Balsam Range 9:30 Russel Moore & IIIrd Tyme Out
pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
1:00 Detour 2:30 Lorraine jordan & Carolina Road 4:00 Volume 5 5:30 Kids Camp w/ Flatt Lonesome 6:30 Marty Rabon 8:00 Larry Sparks & The Lonesome Ramblers 9:30 The Grascols
Sat June 28 1:00 Snyder Family Band 2:30 Claire Lynch 4:00 Grasstowne 6:30 Kenny & Amanda Smith Band 8:00 Doyle Lawson & Quicksilver 9:30 Ricky Skaggs & Kentucky Thunder with The Whites
Burke County is P Kickin’
BLUEGRASS CAMP FOR KIDS TICKET OFFICE: CoMMA: Call 828-433-7469 or 800-939-7469 Nominated for IBMA “Bluegrass Event of the Year�
June 26th - June 28th – 2014
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Catawba Meadows Park (River Stage)
3ANFORD $R -ORGANTON .# s ,ATITUDE Â g s ,ONGITUDE Â g
RedWhiteandBluegrassFestival.com s 4ICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE
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It’s summer time and the living is...festive! All around Burke County there is an air of activity. The streets are alive with visitors and folks from nearby as they celebrate the beginning of summer. Let’s take a quick tour, shall we? Beginning on the northern side of the county, visitors from far and wide come to Silver Fork Winery. From wine tours, picnics, and a host of other events that are offered, Jennifer and Ed will make your trip to Silver Fork one that you will want to add to your daycation spots often. After a visit there, you may want to expand your taste buds as you head on into town. From the unlimited buffet (not to mention their great dessert pizzas) at Village Inn Pizza to custom built pies, subs, salads, strombolis, and calzones at The Pie Hole, the pizza lover in you is sure to be satiated! In the mood for a more formal dining experience? We’ve got you covered! Wisteria Southern Gastropub, located in the heart of Morganton, has a daily menu that features special soups, intriguing appetizers, fabulous entrees, and...desserts? Oh my! Many locals and folks from nearby enjoy the offerings from the City of Morganton Parks and Recreation Department. With 11 parks and over 400 acres of lands devoted for recreational use, this town has many attractions, places for the kids to play, classes offered in all sorts of categories, and sheds and such to plan your outside activities and events-- such as The Red, White, and Bluegrass Festival, being held June 26-28 at the Catawba Meadows Park (see the sidebar for a complete list of events or visit their website: www. redwhteandbluegrassfestival.com for tickets and admission prices). This is the 11th year for this celebration and folks from all over the United States--some 25,000 or more-- come to hear the singers and bands, as well as partake of the Burke County area itself. Another thing you may be interested in while visiting Burke County is learning more about the traditions and heritage that have taken place here--and how The Pilot Club of Morganton is hard at work in keeping the historic monuments in great condition. Currently, the Pilot Club is doing a campaign--known as “Renew the Tradition�-- that is working towards renovating the Community House, one of the historical landmarks that has been in Morganton since the 1930s. The Community House has been used as a meeting place for clubs and civic groups, as well as hosting receptions of all sorts, and it is also used for community functions in Morganton, Burke County, and the surrounding communities. Check them out on Facebook for details on how you can get involved in this and the other happenings that they are participating in as they strive to make this area one for all generations to be proud of. So much to see and so much to do! It just can’t all be listed in one little story. Be sure to mark your calendars for June 26-28 for the Red, White, and Bluegrass Festival and wear your comfortable shoes for traveling through this beautiful county, nestled in the foothills of North Carolina. Burke County welcomes you to enjoy your stay--and to come back often! Tune in next month for another great summer event that Burke County and the Town of Valdese has in store for you. You won’t want to miss it!
5/15/14 11:01:05 AM
FREE DRINK
Come into Village Inn Pizza Come Innand duringinto the Village Red, White, Bluegrass Festival. Show your ticket or arm band and get One (1) Free Drink with the purchase of Two (2) adult buffets. Pizza during the Red, White, and Bluegrass Festival. Show your ticket or arm band and get One (1) free drink with the purchase of Two (2) adult buffets.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
Make Your
Weddi n g Unique by Mackey S. Carpenter www.mscdesigns.net
Do you want a copycat wedding or do you want something unique and different? There are many ways to achieve your own personal look without spending a lot of money. You simply have to think out of the box, way out of the box. Do you have a favorite flower? Well, use a lot of them and use them everywhere. Whether you use a florist or order them online, it’s always cheaper to get hundreds instead of dozens. One of the tricks party designers do is to use a lot of the same thing. They also use lots of the same color in different flowers. One of my brides used only baby’s breath, big bunches of it. Her wedding had a very ethereal feeling. All white weddings are coming back in style. Instead of big bouquets, use hanging baskets of white ruffled petunias. They are less expensive and can be planted later or as a special gift for a wedding participant. The blossoms of white hydrangeas can be cut off of potted plants or use the plants for decoration as is. White azaleas in bloom also make a great addition to an all-white wedding. There are quite a few plants at garden centers that can be used for decorating. Succulents (echevenia) can be used everywhere, but are definitely for warm weather. They can be used alone in bouquets or mixed with other flowers in similar tones. They makes beautiful centerpieces planted in simple clay pots or rustic wooden boxes. These can easily be ordered from a nursery a season before you need them. If your wedding is during the warmer months, make use of your local farmer’s market for fresh produce. It’s also good
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
for large bunches of flowers for that country look. Ask the vendors there about purchasing from them in quantity. There are many books that show creative ways of doing vegetable and fruit displays. Pinterest is full of pictures containing fruit and vegetable displays. One of my favorite must-haves for any wedding is candles. I love lots and lots of candles. They can give a special ambiance to any occasion, especially weddings. Do stay away from the fragrant ones; the smell can be overwhelming. And do go with the simple white ones instead of color. If using outside, place in tall clear glass cylinders or use tall glass covers with open tops. Using candles of various heights placed close together can make a large impact, even more so when placed on a mirror. Here are a few more ideas: • A collection of frames or framed mirrors look fantastic when attached to trees or an old barn or even leaned up against a wall. • Fill containers with a single kind of fruit (color appropriate) stacked high. Crumple paper in the bottom to lessen the amount of fruit needed. • Tack messages or pictures to trees to get guests moving around. • Simple branches strung with lights and secured in containers tend to brighten up a dark area. • Search antique shops and flea markets for items for table centerpieces. Collections of various pieces of silver look good when bunched together, as do collections of candlesticks and pitchers. Even working oil lamps look great when placed next to each other. • When you see something you like, take a picture. Even if you’re not sure about using the idea, you may change your mind later.
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What's Happening In Cat History of Mayberry
When: Tue, June 3, 6:30pm – 8:00pm Where: Catawba County Library, West C Street, Newton, NC, Event Description: Attention Andy Griffith enthusiasts: Catawba County Library has a program “Taylor” made for you! AUTO • HOME • RENTERS • LIFE • HEALTH • BUSINESS
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pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
Freeze will discuss his theories on the “conceptual premises” of The Andy Griffith Show which debuted in 1960. Borrowing from his North Carolina history class at Catawba College, the professor will use key episodes to explain how Andy Griffith himself helps the state’s residents understand their heritage and history. “The lessons are not necessarily what one might expect, especially in the cases of the Darlings and Ernest T. Bass,” Freeze said. The noted history professor will give new depth and clarity to one of the state’s cultural treasures.
Catawba County iCare Tour
Date: June 6, 2014 Time: 8:00 AM - 4:00 PM Event Description: The iCare Tour is a unique all-day guided tour of local non-profit agencies who meet human service needs. For a $5 donation tour participants will receive breakfast, transportation to 6 local non-profits, hear presentations from 8 additional agencies, lunch at the Hickory Soup Kitchen, and receive a detailed resource guide for Catawba County. This tour is only offered once each year and seats are limited so register today! Register by emailing your name, phone number, and names of guests to afreeland@catawbacountync.gov or by calling (828) 695-5648 with the same information. Don't miss this opportunity to learn how you, your business, church, civic organization, or friends can help our community become stronger than ever and learn ways you can invest your time, talent, and treasure.
IREDELL
Statesville
CATAWBA Newton Lincolnton
Dr. Gary Freeze will present “The Hidden History of Mayberry” at 6:30 p.m. June 3 at the Main Library in Newton. The talk, sponsored by Friends of Catawba County Library, is free and open to the public.
Catawba Science Center Free Friday
When: Fri, June 6, 10am – 5pm Where: Catawba Science Center 243 3rd Avenue NE, Hickory Description: Enjoy free admission into the Catawba Science Center on the first and third Friday of each month.
First Fridays
When: Fri, June 6, 6pm – 10pm Where: Hickory, NC, United States Event Description: Hickory Alive is an annual, free concert series located in the City Hall Parking Lot in downtown Hickory. In 2014, Hickory Alive is adopting a new FIRST FRIDAYS schedule with events on the first Fridays in June, July, August, and September. Hickory Alive FIRST FRIDAYS will kick off on Friday, June 6th from 6pm - 10pm and will include the
tawba County following dates: Friday, June 6th, Friday, July 4th, Friday, August 1st, Friday, September 5th.
Take a Kid Fishing Day
When: Sat, June 14, 9am – 12pm Where: 1954 Grandview Drive, Newton, NC Event Description: Cast a reel and catch fish and a fun time with your family at the Newton Recreation Department’s annual Take a Kid Fishing Day from 9 a.m. to noon June 14 at Herman’s Fish Lake, 1954 Grandview Drive. This event is free and open to the public. The event is open to children from 3- to 17-years-old. Children younger than 12 years must be accompanied by an adult. Children must bring their own rod and reel. Prizes categories are “largest fish,” “most fish,” “smallest fish,” and “most unusual catch of the day.” Additional prize drawings will occur every 15 minutes.
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This is also sponsored by Academy Sports+Outdoors, Herman’s Fish Lake, Piedmont Bait & Tackle, and Balls Creek Bait and Tackle in Newton. To pre-register for Take a Kid Fishing Day, contact the Newton Recreation Department at 828-695-4317. Participants may register on site by 8:30 a.m. For more information on the event and the swimming pool, visit www.newtonnc.gov.
Newton Swimming Pool Opening
When: Sat, June 14, 1pm – 6pm Where: Newton, NC, United States Event Description: The City of Newton Parks & Recreation Department is proud to announce the opening of the city’s swimming pool on Saturday, June 14. Public swimming will be available Monday through Saturday from 1:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m and Thursday evenings from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. Admission is $1 for children ages 0-5, $2 for adults ages 62 and older, $3 for children ages 6-17, and $4 for adults ages 18-61.
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For more information, or to schedule a group event, contact the Newton Recreation Center at (828) 695-4317.
Kingston Residence of Hickory hosts Community Chat Date: June 24, 2014 Time: 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM Website: http://www.kingstonhealthcare.com Event Description: Amanda Edwards from Grace Financial Solutions will be here to speak! “Are You Eligible For a Life Settlement?” Dinner and Door Prizes! Please call 828-327-9955 to RSVP
For More Events or to List An Event Visit itownlocal.blogspot.com or Download our mobile app -----> www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
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pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
Are you the princess or the pea? In the fairytale, The Princess and the Pea, the princess affirms that she is truly royalty by passing the test of having a sleepless night due to the disruption of a small pea placed between a massive pile of mattresses. Her inability to get some Z’s was deemed proof of her lineage because only a princess would be so sensitive to feel the effect of one small pea. Her triumph resulted in being crowned queen and living (and sleeping) happily ever after, never to be tested again. Revisiting this fairytale inspired this month’s column with the question, “Are you the princess or the pea?” What I mean by this is are you living and enjoying your best life like the princess or are you caught like that poor little pea, feeling stuck or trapped? If there is even one part of your life that you feel has stalled or is not as you had envisioned or hoped, there is probably more you can do than you realize to shift it more to you favor. Consider these possibilities and then ask yourself if they are impacting you in even the smallest of ways. Promising vs. Progressing: Are there things you have promised yourself you would do for yourself or even for others, but never seem to get around to doing them. Whether it is a hobby, a health routine, a getaway or a myriad of other things, promises are only as good as the intention behind them. Take a moment to list these promises and then transform them into real progress by committing and doing. Placating vs. Parlaying: Do you have someone in your life who you love and care deeply about, or someone you work with, and are allowing them to get away with certain behavior or attitudes that are not all that appealing or likable? As a result, you are carrying all the tension and frustration inside of you as they continue being this way. It is never easy to have that tough conversation. Doing it with a hint of opportunity for the other person can potentially help him or her see the value of approaching things in a different way for a better result.
Pushing vs. Pulling: If you are someone who is highly driven to succeed and get things done, you may be frustrated by a lack of the same by those around you. The reality is we cannot do everything ourselves, nor should we. The key is to pull people toward you in a way that invigorates and excites them to help you. The secret to this is by caring about and genuinely wanting to see them succeed in what they endeavor to be doing, and then tying your passion to theirs so everyone gains something in the end. Programming vs. Propelling: Are you living in autopilot in your life? Are you operating each day as if programmed to do certain things or the same things at certain times or the same times? While routine is good in some respects, it can also make our lives feel somewhat “blah” over time, leaving us feeling as though something is or has been missing. Make it a point everyday to break out of your routine through being curious, inquisitive, explorative, and every once in a while, impulsive, to bring some of that vigor back in your consciousness. You might be surprised how some things you have desired are suddenly propelled into being, simply because you got out of your own way by doing even a few things a little differently. Practicing vs. Purposing: How intentional and purposeful are you in the things that you are doing? Too often, people seem to be caught in practice mode, never really getting to the point of putting themselves out there with all their glory to truly live with purpose and passion. What are you passionate about? What do you believe your purpose in being is in this world? How are you living these aspects within you every day that are making a difference for yourself and others? You can be on top of your own world, loving life and living with true satisfaction, by simply paying attention to how you are contributing to manifesting it into being. Your own sensitivity in knowing who you are and were meant to be is the first step.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
So, You Just Got Married.. by Susan Guest, ASID
June is the month for weddings. Excitement is in the air as many a blushing bride walks down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams. Everything is both a blur and a fairy tale for the young couple as they go through the wedding and honeymoon. Then it is time to settle down and start a new life together. This can be a very stressful time for some couples. There are so many responsibilities-working, maintaining a household, moving in together, and learning to live with another person! I have written an article in the past about the Brady Bunch family where two families combine into one. This article addresses the young (or not so young) couple who is starting from scratch. These are some ideas on how to start building your home on a shoestring budget. Don’t feel like you have to furnish your home in one week! If you really don’t care about your décor, visit a showroom that puts the whole package together. If you do care, start with the basics like a sofa, TV, mattress, and dinette. Some of my favorite times in life were when I had very few possessions. It was fun to collect things and hunt things on the weekends. Determine your needs: If you are planning to move quite often, possibly overseas even; you might consider renting some furniture to avoid moving costs. If you are in a city where you plan to stay a while, you will have a different strategy on furniture purchases. Buy the best quality you can afford. Don’t buy cheaply made furniture unless you have no other choice, because you might be
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
stuck with it for a while. It is much better to purchase one item at a time, get it paid off,then work on the next item. Good quality furnishings last longer, look better longer, and tend to not end up at the landfill. This is just good Eco-friendly sense. In the long run, it will probably cost you less to have a piece longer than having to purchase it twice. Beg, Borrow, and Steal- Well, don’t steal! If you have no budget at all to work with, ask friends and family members if they have items that they are not using that you can have or borrow. This might buy you some time until you can purchase your own furniture. Often, people have pieces in their basement that need a new home. I had a friend who moved into an apartment with nothing to her name. Two days after calling the office at my church, I collected mattresses, a sofa, dishes, cookbooks and other items to help her get started. People don’t know you need help unless you ask. Shop used. Sometimes you can find treasures in consignment shops, thrift stores, and shops such as Goodwill and Habitat for Humanity. In our area, where we are surrounded by many furniture companies, there are sometimes new items donated by the manufacturer. Also, since people here have connections to these companies, they tend to donate lightly used items and buy new more often. The quality at the thrift stores is often better than some of the cheaply made furniture in lower-end retail stores. Develop your own style. I tend to say this a lot, but don’t base your entire style on the HGTV look. They are driving the market right now, but this is trendy and you will be happier by
developing your own unique style. If you have no clue what your style is, look at your closet and what you tend to purchase in clothing. Formal or casual, trendy or chic, what colors do you like, what makes you feel great? Houzz and Pinterest are great sources to look at a lot of different looks. You can create your own files on things that you like. Be careful, though, not to be just like everyone else. This will not serve you well later. Design for you and your spouse. Make sure that you start your newly married life on a good note by including your spouse in design and furniture decisions. They might act like they don’t care, but more often than not, they do. If your tastes are completely different, you may need to divide the house into zones and do some of the home or apartment in each person’s tastes. Grow up. I go to homes that are owned by middle aged couples that still have furniture that was used in their college dorm or apartment. Grow up and give it up! It costs a lot later if you wait until you are 50 to start replacing those pieces. Start phasing them out now with grown-up furniture! Phase Plan. If you are overwhelmed with the entire process, break it down into sections. Work on one room at a time, or have an overall plan and purchase what you can afford. I have consultations with many a young couple who need a plan to get them started. It is a lot easier on the pocketbook and credit card to buy a few things at a time, but know that they will work with the overall plan.
42
Color Consultation before your wedding. Most brides-to-be register for gifts that they would love to receive or things that will be useful in their new home. If you have a color plan before your wedding, you have a head start on pulling together the overall look. Otherwise, go white or neutral and you can add colors later. DIY. If you are on a tight budget, you might want to learn some Do-It-Yourself skills. You can take a class to learn to upholster the sofa that your parents no longer needed. Home improvement stores have classes to teach you how to install tile, or other flooring. You-tube videos can teach you how to do just about anything. If you are adventurous and don’t mind some late nights and hard work; try this route. Not everything will turn out as you had hoped, but you will learn a lot and hopefully improve your skill set.
Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31
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WE’VE MOVED!
The Lenoir Office of Laurel Park Women’s The Office The Lenoir LenoirHealth Office of of Laurel Park Women’s Health WE’VE is now open in our new location at Laurel Park Women’s Health WE’VE is now open in our new location open in Pavilion our new location at at Laurel Parkis now Medical MOVED! Laurel Park Medical Pavilion MOVED! Laurel Park Medical Pavilion 906 College Avenue, Lenoir 906 906 College College Avenue, Avenue, Lenoir Lenoir
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pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
Laurel Park Women’s Laurelinside Park Women’s Health Health Laurel Park Medical Pavilion inside Laurel Park Medical Pavilion
906 College Avenue, Suite A, Lenoir 906 College Avenue, Suite A, Lenoir Caldwell Physicians, Laurel Park Women’s Health, Caldwell Physicians, Park Women’s Health, & FallsLaurel Medical Park Medical Park Hospital. are divisions&ofFalls Caldwell Memorial are divisions of Caldwell Memorial Hospital.
*Only the Lenoir office of Laurel Park Women’s Health has moved. *Only Lenoir office of Laurel Park Women’s Health hasPark. moved. Thethe Granite Falls office is still open inside Falls Medical The Granite Falls office is still open inside Falls Medical Park.
Recipes for ife
L
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body Lemon Delight
(Recipe from Rachel Jones) 1 ½ cup flour 1 ½ sticks margarine ½ cup chopped nuts 8 oz. cream cheese, softened 1 cup powdered sugar 12 oz. cool whip 2 small packages instant pudding, lemon or any flavor 3 cups milk 1. Blend and press the first three ingredients into a 9x13” pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. Cool. 2. Using a mixer, gently combine the cream cheese, powdered sugar, and 6 oz. of the cool whip. Spread over crust. 3. Mix the instant pudding and milk together; pour over the cream cheese mixture. 4. Spread remaining cool whip over top, sprinkling with additional nuts if desired. Chill before serving.
A Prayer for God’s Blessing
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior … teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.” Titus 2:3-5, NASB In honor of June’s notoriety as a popular wedding month, let’s carefully consider several of these instructions: • Love your husband – Perhaps this sounds elementary, but reality reveals that love sometimes eludes us as wives. Being patient and kind, as 1 Cor. 13: 4 defines love, doesn’t come naturally when dirty laundry repeatedly rests on the floor … when TV or social media hinders our husbands’ listening skills … when disagreements arise and hurtful words are exchanged. You get the picture. Clearly those are precise moments when we particularly need to love—in all the ways 1 Corinthians 13 outlines. • Be sensible – In a culture that promotes doing whatever … wherever … whenever, Biblical sensibility involves limiting oneself according to correct thinking. Romans 12:2 offers further insight: “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” The Christian wife gains proper perspective, which directly affects her actions, based on the truth of God’s Word. • Be workers at home – Every wife possesses her own style of housekeeping. Some women thrive on spotless cleanliness while others maintain a much more relaxed approach. As for meals, numerous ladies immensely enjoy cooking, but many others prefer providing sustenance without extensive preparation. God has imparted different strengths and talents to each of us, and a welcoming, nourishing home environment can be achieved in a variety of ways. Yet whatever the method, homemaking equals conscientious, diligent work—a responsibility every wife should take seriously. • Be subject to your husband – God designated a specific order in marriage: “the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church” (Eph. 5:23). In order for this structure to operate smoothly, God calls every wife to recognize and willingly submit to her husband’s headship, his leadership. This isn’t easy. This isn’t popular. But it’s God’s design. Disregarding this particular injunction equates to dishonoring the word of God—absolutely not a favorable choice. Obeying the Lord in marriage and all of life, however, always leads to blessing.
Father in Heaven, You are gloriously wise and perfect in all Your ways. Humbly I confess the times I’ve failed to fully follow Your instructions to wives. Joyfully and gratefully I thank You for the beautiful gift of marriage. Thank You for my wonderful husband. Please bless him and continue to grow me into the wife You call me to be. In Jesus’ beloved name, Amen.
Undoubtedly, every wife or soon-to-be wife desires to enjoy a pleasant, fulfilling marriage. Though the Lord doesn’t promise this experience, its likelihood increases when we follow His directives. May we cherish and heed God’s proven wisdom.
Food for the Soul
Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…
Blessings and joy in Christ to you—especially this month’s brides!
Light, cool, and creamy, Lemon Delight offers a delicious dessert experience. Having received this recipe years ago, pulling it out again evokes memories of a younger me: a lovestruck newlywed. Acquiring scrumptious recipes like this one certainly helped me begin a happy homemaking journey.
Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close! relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.
Marrying a Godly man truly is a beautiful blessing. With expectant promise, the future awaits. And part of living as a Godly wife includes learning from women who’ve gone before. Their wise counsel and practical tips greatly benefit us; similarly, we can bless the next generation as we age.
Please contact Emily about speaking at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences by e-mailing emily@ proclaiminghimtowomen.com.
Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotions and to learn more about life in Christ. Connect with Emily on Facebook at www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/ emilywickhamPH
Emily, who is grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her wonderful husband and their four treasured children in western NC.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33
LOVER I’m A
Not A Fighter...
by Stefanie Hutcheson
A
ccording to the Second Amendment of the United States Constitution, “...the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” Now, hold on a minute, isn’t this supposed to be a woman’s magazine? Why in the world are we talking about “the right to bear arms”? Shouldn’t the only talk of bearing arms involve some sort of lesson on where to get the best tan and where to find the cutest tops to put over those “bare” arms. Sadly, this is not the case. In today’s time, the statistics are staggering concerning women and the different crimes that are committed against them. According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network), 1 out of 6 women has been the victim of rape or attempted rape. This is an overwhelming total of 17.7 million American women who have been victims of attempted or completed rape in all. Eighty percent of these women were under the age of 30; 44% were under the age of 18. Sixty percent of these heinous acts were not reported to the police, allowing for the fact that 97%--97%!!--of these rapists will not be charged for their crime. It gets worse, ladies. These crimes are often committed by someone well-known to the victim, (over 33% to be more specific), while over 67% are someone the victim is acquainted with. To sum up this sad paragraph of statistics, every 2 minutes a woman in the United States of America--this same country that guarantees us the right to protect ourselves--is assaulted sexually. Not all crimes, though, are of the sexual nature. Often, thieves just want our purses, our cars, our bank account information, our valuables and aren’t really threatening to harm us physically. Sometimes they are just bullies and will leave us alone if we stand up for ourselves. Other times, however, they must be taken more seriously. And if our kids and granchildren are threatened? Well, it becomes a whole new ball game, now doesn’t it? Time to take those gloves off, roll up our sleeves, “bare” those arms, and take care of business. We here at Sophie Woman’s Magazine are fired up about this (pardon the pun). In our continual efforts to Inspire, Motivate, and Educate our readers, we went on a mission and found out some of the best ways we could defend ourselves from these predators that are out there trying to damage us, to mar us, to wound us in ways that we may not fully recover from. As you peruse the advertisements on the left and right of this story, rest assured that these businesses have all been verified to offer a woman-friendly atmosphere, a comfortable setting where you can go, ask questions, try out their products, learn when their courses are offered, and how to set up your home with the best defense systems available to you in a manner for which you are most suited.
pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2014
Here in the Sophie Woman’s Magazine area, these great businesses and instructors offer us a wide variety of tools and methods for defending ourselves. If you live in or near Alexander County, Lyndon’s Riverview Sports is the place to go! Caldwell County residents and visitors have a couple of great choices: American Trade and Loan in downtown Lenoir, and Guns Too located off of Blowing Rock Boulevard. Catawba County folks, specifically in Newton, are finding one of the best-kept secrets for merchandise to be Highlander Armory. Burke County offers Walker Martial Arts Studio, where you can take self-defense courses as well as be trained in the carry concealed weapons courses. Lastly, South Mountain Electric, also located in Burke County, offers home security options that are now all the rage.
guns too BUY - SELL - LOANS
828-754-0753 413 BLOWING ROCK BLVD. LENOIR, NC 28645
HOURS: M-F 9-5 & SAT. 10-2 www.gunstoo.com
Being a lover and not a fighter in theory sounds great. After all, aren’t we women supposed to be soft, loving, and in the kitchen? Okay, that last part goes out to those hubbies and significant others who still have the caveman mentality that they will bring home the bacon for us to fry up and they will carry their clubs on their shoulders and protect their turfs. Unfortunately, times have changed--in some ways anyway. Women are no longer the “weaker sex” and we can take care of ourselves as never before. Roles have changed in our American households and it is often left up to us to provide for all of our needs--including being secure in our homes and in our daily routines. Knowing where to go to learn the skills, where to purchase the products that will help to enable us to defend what is ours, and having the assurance that our homes are safely monitored when we aren’t in them is a basic need felt by us gals. Those weapons being available in purples and pinks are just an added bonus! Lastly, and most importantly, we must take advantage of the best Defense System we have: our Lord Jesus Christ. He promised to never leave us and to never forsake us. I encourage you to carry Jesus in your hearts. He’s the perfect accessory and is always on call to make your future secure.
Alarm System app available through South Mountain Electirc
Shannon Lyndon from Lyndon’s Riverview Sports
South Mountain Electric Home Security Alarm Systems
828.448.0782
Highlander Guffie Family
Guns Too has a wide variety of guns....we like the pink!
Jimmy is always willing to help you at American Trade & Loan
Some of the Walker Martial Arts Family
American Trade & Loan
Purple Ruger
If Kevin can’t sell you what you need, he will at least play you a song
Our Monthly Feature
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