VOLUME 12 - ISSUE 1 / MARCH 2016
Woman’s Magazine INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~
How can your words be effective in the lives of others? | Page 10
Sophisticated Women ~ Are you asking powerful questions? | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are you playing it too safe? | Page 14
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From The Editor: Judy Smith
My very first thought was to put this and then say “Enough Said”. However, I have changed my mind. I have a deep gnawing feeling in my gut. Am I the only one? Our country….MY COUNTRY… seems to be unraveling at the seams and to be honest, I don’t have a lot of hope for what lies ahead. Everyone has opinions; everyone has solutions…. especially the Politicians.
Conservative”, Ben Carson’s tells us he will “ Heal-InspireRevive” and Jeb Bush touts he will give us a “safer, stronger and freer America”. That is just the ones on the Republican side and really by the time you are reading this, I am sure there will be fewer. Then on the Democrat side you have two who are claiming the greatest America yet. Hillary Clinton tells us she “Wants to be a Champion for Everyday Americans” and Bernie Sanders wants to give us “A Future to Believe In”. Which slogans do you like the best? Do you think they can live up to their promises? I know they can’t. If you listen to everything they all promise….wow, they would be miracle workers. Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I am not telling you who to vote for and I am not telling you not to vote. I believe it is our God Given right and duty to vote…for the best person we can. I also still believe in miracles and that is my whole point of this article. Don’t miss the line in our Pledge that says “One Nation Under God”. He is the One Person who can still deliver us. He tells us He will but it is with conditions:
Presidential elections are a very serious thing. I watch all the debates, Republican and Democrat. Every single one of them promises us they can fix “it”. My question is: “Do they even know what “it” is?
2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Marco Rubio promises “A New American Century”, Donald Trump promises to “Make America Great Again”, John Kasich promises “A Strong America”, Ted Cruz tells us he is the “Proven
We need leaders who will call on Him and ask for His wisdom, we need Christians to get out and vote and not be the silent majority. Are you doing your part?
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3
S
phie Woman’s Magazine
P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production & Design Manager: Scott Hansley Sales: Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste.
A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses. For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.
************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************
pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
Message from the Heart
3
Community Bulletin Board
6
Sophisticated Women
8
Girlfriends in God
10
The Front Porch
12
Me, Myself, & Inc.
14
Minding My Own Outfit
16
Recipe for Life
18
A Beautiful Vine
20
Allergy Time, Again!
22
He Said, She Said
24
Day In & Day Out
26
A Simple Piece of Wood
28
Mary vs Martha
30
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
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pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
S
ophisticated
Ask Powerful Questions
Albert Einstein stated, “If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.’” Albert was a genius. He knew that the key to solving our own problems and the world’s problems are not found in our limited opinions but rather in the unlimited power of our curiosity. And, the same is true in our lives as a “Sophie Woman.” The key to solving our problems is not found in our currently held opinion but rather in the unlimited power of our curiosity. Asking powerful questions is the most important tool in our sophisticated woman’s toolbox. Powerful questions: • empower us by uncovering data, perspectives, and fresh ideas. • create an environment around us where growth takes place. • encourage diverse thinking. • honor other’s contributions. • suspend judgment • and make us sophisticated!
Women... By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
do not speak up. You allow the person you are listening to stay stuck in their problem. Either way, you are not operating as a sophisticated woman. Remember, a sophisticated woman…the Sophie Woman, is an individual whose thoughts, reactions, and understanding operate at a higher level. The Sophie Woman desires to interpret, explore and discover something new. And, don’t miss this, help their fellow man or woman solve their problem in the highest and best way possible which creates a world of sophisticated individuals! The Five Rules for Asking a Powerful Question Powerful questions emirate from the heart of curiosity. The goal is to “turn to wonder.” Ask, “I wonder what the solutions are for this problem?” Wonder is a state of being that is openminded, pioneering and eager to explore. Use the five key words you learned in grade school to explore the problem. • • • • •
Who can help you? What is really going on? When did key events take place? Where do you see this problem headed? How could you move forward despite the problem?
Stop. Think about the conversations you have on a daily basis.
Make sure your question is open-ended. This means the question cannot be answered with a “yes” or a “no.” The most powerful questions are inquiries. They are actually not a true question but, one that elicits thinking by asking for more information. Be directive and state: “Tell me about your problem.”
Are you an opinionated person? Do you listen to others by sizing up their words, quick to jump in and zealous to tell them how to solve their problem?
Avoid assumptions and placing blame. Instead of looking for someone to point a finger at, save your energy. Go after a solution! There is a big difference in these two questions:
Or perhaps your style is different. You listen. You don’t give your opinion. But silently, you have a different perspective. You
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
• Who is at fault? • What can be done to move the situation forward?
Go big and go small with your questions. Changing the scope of a question gives individuals a chance to visit different perspectives. Ask: • How is this problem affecting you? • How is this problem affecting your team/family? • How is this problem affecting your community? With these five rules for asking a powerful question, in your Sophie Woman toolbox, you are poised to help those in your circle of influence to grow, discover solutions and gain confidence. Many people are cynical, without hope, and sarcastic about the future. But you, a sophisticated woman, are called to believe that all things are possible. Powerful questions are the tool to explore exactly that, “What is possible?” Simply ask yourself this very powerful question.
is possible!?
What
Now you reading this, answer that powerful question. I imagine, just like Albert, you have answers that will illuminate your genius. At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
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A Lesson from Dr. Seuss by Mary Southerland
Today’s Truth
It’s not how long we talk or how many eloquent words we use that matters. It is what we say that is so important. The words we use are like seeds. What we plant will grow.
Friend to Friend
I believe God gives us spiritual “radar’ so we can assess a situation and speak the right word for that circumstance. In Colossians 4:6 Paul writes, “Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone.” We just need to check the “radar screen” before we speak.
Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right response for everyone (Colossians 4:6, NLT). Dr. Seuss is one of my favorite authors. I recently read an article that said the famed children’s author loved challenges. In 1959, the co-founder of his publishing company bet Dr. Seuss that he could not write an actual book with a good story using fifty words or less. Dr. Seuss quickly accepted the bet. The result? The beloved book, Green Eggs and Ham. To date it has sold over 200 million copies – using only 49 words in its entirety. Dr. Seuss might be on to something. Less is often more. When it comes to words with impact, being long-winded is not a value. But speaking the right words can be life changing. The spoken word is powerful, and spoken words of encouragement can bring great comfort. The idea is not to speak many words, but to speak the right words. Consider this: • • • • •
The Lord’s Prayer contains 71 words. The Gettysburg Address contains 272 words. The Ten Commandments contains 139 words. The Declaration of Independence contains 1323 words. A U.S. government order setting the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words.
Written notes of encouragement often carry even greater impact because they can be kept and read again and again. In the midst of my struggle with depression, I would often slip into a worship service at our church through a side door to escape being noticed. I came in late to worship one day and sat off to the side in order to avoid questioning eyes and concerned stares. My timing was bad because I had managed to get there just in time to welcome the visitors. I simply had no energy or desire to shake hands or smile at anyone, so I sat in my chair hoping everyone would understand and leave me alone. Then I saw him coming. One of our deacons had spotted me and was walking across the auditorium with a big smile on his face. I wanted to run. He put his arm around my shoulder and gently hugged me. He never said a word, but pressed a piece of paper into my hand and left as quickly as he had come. Through tears I read the precious note that said, “I love you and am praying for you. If you or Dan ever need me for anything, I am here.” Healing comfort flooded my wounded heart, and I found I had the strength to stay.
pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
God will take and use the words we speak and write to bring hope and give comfort. The right word – given at the right time and in the right way - can bring order in the midst of confusion, light on a very dark path, and wisdom to a questioning heart.
Let’s Pray
Father, I come today asking for Your forgiveness for the careless words I speak. Please teach me how to control my tongue. Create in me a clean heart. Give me a holy desire to encourage and build others up with my words. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Read Colossians 4:6. “Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone.” • • •
How would you describe words that are “gracious?” How can our words be “effective” in the lives of others? What do you think Paul means when he says that we can have the “right answer for everyone?”
More from the Girlfriends
Learning to control anger can help us control many of the careless words we speak. Need help? Get Mary’s powerful sixweek Bible Study, Anger Management 911, for a seven-step plan that will help you learn to control anger and the destructive words that anger can produce. Be sure to check out the FREE MP3s on Mary’s website and connect with Mary through email or on Facebook.
Seeking God? Girlfriends in God P.O. Box 1311 Huntersville, NC 28070 info@girlfriendsingod.com www.girlfriendsingod.com
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
Front The
S
Porch
pring has bloomed in all the stores and Easter is hopping all over the place. Memories are priceless and Easter holds some very special memories for me, although growing up, I did not know that Easter had anything to do with a Cross and Resurrection. For me, it was about the pretty dresses and the filled Easter baskets, although either of those two was a rare treat for me. We always had some kind of Easter baskets or pails or whatever recycled container we could come up with. They were not filled with the delicacies from the stores…the wrapped chocolate bunnies, the marshmallow eggs, the scrumptious jelly beans. We did get to dye eggs with vinegar and food coloring, not any of the fancy things that are available today. Hiding Easter eggs was so much fun for us five kids and usually with some cousins included in the mix. We took turns hiding them but of course since I was the oldest, I did the best job. My little brother Joe would cry because I hid them “too hard”.
by Judy Smith
However, a new dress very seldom appeared. After all, we did not go to church so who did I need to show off for? My usual hand me downs were plenty good enough to get out and rummage in the grass and dirt and once in a while climb up to the crook of the tree to place that one last egg. The worse things about those eggs were that we had to eat them the rest of the week. Just a note of wisdom here…. when they tell you that eggs don’t last but two or three days, don’t believe them. This was what happened with my family. Yet, and this is the best “Yet” ever, when we were small, usually on Easter we would go to the mountains where my Great Grandmother lived to visit with her. Now that I think of it, they never had us ANYTHING for Easter. My Uncle Fillmore, however, thought the sun rose and set in me! If you have never heard that expression before, you might need to think on it awhile. My family was not the only ones who usually went up on Easter. Several of my Dad’s other brothers usually took their families as well. I have to tell you about my Uncle Dicks family who I love to the depths of my soul. Even though they were rich! (I can just hear them laughing their heads off at that statement this very minute.) They were not rich but in my eyes, they were. Darlene and Rita ALWAYS had new dresses with the most beautiful new crinoline (I know….most of you have no idea what I am talking about…it’s a fancy petticoat or slip). You can see it, can’t you? That fancy little new dress, standing straight out with that layered crinoline…all complete with fancy little ruffled white socks, white or black paten shoes and usually topped off with their fancy little Easter Bonnet. When they would sit them down to take pictures, everything just spread out so perfect on the grass! Just made me sick. Yes, of course they had the “BEST” Easter basket you ever saw. That is, until Uncle Fillmore showed up with one he actually bought me. It was not something just put together. I bet he paid at least $100 for it! Well, that might me exaggerating a bit…but I am sure it is just a bit! He did not buy anyone else one….just me! Remember how the sun just rose and set in me! Take that you fashion setting cousins with your new ruffled bloomers! Now to be honest, it wasn’t the Easter basket that was so great. It was that someone thought I was special and went out of their way to show me. The memories are great and always great times with my precious cousins. I know now, that is not what Easter is about and I am so happy to know that my sweet cousins know as well that it is all about Jesus. One day we will get to see Uncle Fillmore again and if by chance, he gives me the biggest Easter basket, I just hope Rita and Darlene don’t get jealous!
pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
Shutterbuggerz
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
Are you playing it too safe? I recently took a risk in testing an assessment exercise I developed. I decided to test the assessment on a group that I knew would be challenging and potentially critical. Even though I knew this going in, I was willing to press forward with the group serving as a resource for insight, concerns and validation of the assessment. In sharing the initial results of the assessment with the group, I was immediately challenged by a couple of the members. While I knew this was a possible outcome, what was being challenged initially was not a part of the assessment that I thought would be an issue. It took me by surprise, and I had to quickly adapt to the situation in order to understand, and therefore gain wisdom from the feedback and reactions. Coming away from the experience, my initial feeling was that maybe it was a mistake to have been so bold as to test the assessment in that way with that group. However, once I took the time to review what I had learned from the experience, instead of feeling it was a failure, I realized that I got exactly what I was seeking. The insights shared resulted in some key revisions to clarify portions of the assessment. The concerns shared resulted in identifying a different means of delivering the results and how I could approach facilitating the discussion of the results. Most important, in spite of these concerns, the group confirmed that the assessment had merit and the results would be considered valuable in helping individuals based on the results. Taking risks can be scary. Even when you know it is a risk, you can never fully know what to expect. That is why it is a risk. However, playing it too safe can lead to feeling unfulfilled or unsatisfied, and not totally understanding why. So where do you draw the line between total abandon and calculated exploration? How can you stop playing it too safe? Be Curious and Conscious: Sometimes asking questions can feel as though you are taking a risk. However, questions are your most valuable way to understand, comprehend, and gain insight you would otherwise miss. Take time to ask more questions and explore possibilities before too quickly dismissing them. Be Comfortable with Mistakes: No one is perfect. Mistakes are how people learn and grow. Viewing any mistake as a learning experience and embracing what was learned results
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
in fewer mistakes re-occurring and valuable insights being gained. Be a Thinker-Doer: Don’t just think about what you are going to do. Take action and actually turn what you are thinking into a tangible next-step. Whether it is getting more information or reaching out to someone, each small step makes it feel less like a risk and more like a process to get you where you are striving to go. Be Open to Others’ Perspective: Too often, a person is afraid to share an idea or perspective because of a need to be liked or a need for approval. Try to take yourself out of the equation, and instead make your goal to stimulate discussion and thinking. Instead of asking, “Is this a good idea?” or “Do you agree?,” which is seeking approval immediately, ask “What do you think could make it even better?” or “What am I missing?” Be Confidently Vulnerable: This may sound like an oxymoron. How can you be confident and vulnerable at the same time? Confidence isn’t and shouldn’t be about ego and the need to always be right. Confidence is being steadfast in your belief in yourself, while also knowing you can handle just about anything that comes at you, even when it doesn’t go exactly as planned. Some of our greatest aha moments happen when we step outside of our norm. Whether it is trying something new or sharing a new or different perspective, being willing to take small risks based on your comfort levels can open up a whole new realm of interesting directions and unexpected opportunities. Before you know it, what would have been viewed previously by you as a big risk no longer seems as intimidating or daunting.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
Make a Plan To:
Daylight savings time, when clocks are moved forward one hour ahead in the spring and set back one hour in the fall, was initiated to save energy on artificial lighting and make better use of daylight. DST was implemented roughly 100 years ago, but conceived much earlier than that. Today DST is in use in more than 70 countries across the globe, affecting about one billion people every year. Despite the well-intentioned purposes behind DST, little evidence exists to support DST as an effective means to saving energy. In 2016, DST will begin at 2:00 am on Sunday, March 13, and end at 2:00 am on Sunday, November 6, in the United States and Canada. However, Hawaii, most of Arizona, most of Saskatchewan, and some regions of British Colombia, Nunavut, Quebec, and Ontario will not observe DST.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
Minding my own
Outfit
by Mary Felkins
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience. Colossians 3:12
Now that spring has arrived my eyes are drawn to cheery new fashions, which - somehow - hop off the rack and dive into my shopping cart. Because I love a new outfit, new shoes, the exhilaration of a great deal, something on clearance. Something that flatters. Something that fits. The best outfit I’ve ever worn is when I became a new creation in Christ. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! II Corinthians 5:17 It flattered. And, although it wasn’t cheap (cost God His one and only Son, Jesus), it fit perfectly. Still does. That is, I must remove the garb of willful obstinacy and put on the garment of obedience. Each day I have to choose to get dressed. Oswald Chambers, in his book My Utmost for His Highest, suggested that, as we obey God, He will take the new life He’s put in us and exhibit the virtues that are characteristic of the Lord Jesus. My old clothing represents old practices, old patterns of thinking which are ineffective, unkind. Even destructive. They no longer fit the new creation I’ve become. And they’re downright unflattering.
pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
So just what hangs in my spiritual closet? Is my wardrobe radiant, drawing the eye of the lost to the Savior? Or sadly lacking the virtues of a transformed life? Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience. Colossians 3:12b If God wouldn’t shout an affirmative ‘Yes to the dress”, maybe it’s time to do some shopping… Me: “Excuse me, sir. You carry anything the likes of compassion or kindness?” The sales associate would likely return a blank stare. Me: “I take that to mean ‘no’. Well, how about…” Pause for quick verse recall -“humility or gentleness? Perhaps patience?” (Baffled) Sales associate: “Lemme see. Would those be a Christian Dior design?” Me: “Christian, yes. Dior, no.” Once I’ve dressed myself and are quite satisfied with my outfit, I tend to cast my gaze on someone else’s outfit. A child, a spouse, a friend, a neighbor, a fellow church member. And what if I don’t approve of what they’re wearing? So, Sally Sue is saved, but my, oh, my, how she gossips. I see no evidence of daily Bible reading. And there’s not a marked up Bible or devo in her possession. And she’s passed up a mission trip opportunity? Hasn’t got at least one Zip-Loc full of items to give to the homeless who linger at curbsides? Has zero adopted children and allows the two she has to eat foods with high fructose corn syrup? Before I know it, I’ve stripped off the ‘new man’ clothing, scraped my eyes the length of another’s outfit, and allowed judgment out of its cage. Isn’t it challenging enough to dress myself in holy garb each day, fully armed from helmet to sandals, without also taking on the self-appointed role of Project Runway judge? “Change your outfit, girlfriend!” During a recent conversation with a friend, she asked how I thought someone was faring. Spiritually, that is. With one question, she’d unintentionally invited me to rate this individual’s walk with God. I scrambled to answer her question, my mind’s eye zeroing in on outward appearances (Project Runway, right?). Until the Spirit whispered, “I am at work on the inside of this person where your eyes can’t see.” Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. I Samuel 16:7 Time to mind my own outfit. God escorted me back to my
closet, stepping carefully around a few outfits I’d strewn on the floor. He fingered through the hangers and lovingly held new clothing against my shoulders with a satisfied tilt of His head. Compassion. Kindness. Patience. Humility. Gentleness.
All quite flattering. Especially that lovely little number called ‘love’. Despite its alluring fragrance, I hadn’t worn it in a while. In the mire of minding others’ outfits, I’d let ‘love’ migrate to the back of the closet, though the Fashion Designer intended for it complete my whole ensemble. And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Col 3:14
Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Her first novel, a contemporary Christian romance, is currently under contract with Prism Book Group (www.prismbookgroup.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written. Married to Bruce Felkins, together they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver. She can be bribed to take a break from writing if chocolate is involved in the negotiation process. For stories that stir the soul, Mary cordially invites you to her website, www.maryfelkins.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
Recipes for ife
L
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body Robin’s Sweet Potato Casserole (Recipe by Robin Parish) Casserole: 5 medium sweet potatoes (or 1 can) ¼ tsp. salt ¼ cup butter 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla 1 tsp. cinnamon 1-cup sugar Topping: ¼ cup melted butter 3 Tbsp. plain flour ¾ cup brown sugar, packed ½ cup pecans, chopped Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Whip sugar and eggs until creamy. Mash the sweet potatoes and add them. Add remaining ingredients; mix well. Pour mixture into a greased casserole dish. Mix topping together and sprinkle on potatoes. Bake for 30 minutes. Yield: 6 servings.
A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You are the Author of salvation, Giver of eternal life through Jesus Christ. I confess my appreciation of Your Son and His work doesn’t measure up to all You’re worthy to receive. Thank You for the cross and the empty grave. Thank You for Jesus. Please grow my adoration of You, rooting my love in a daily gratitude for Christ’s death and resurrection. In Jesus’ glorious name, Amen.
Food for the Soul Believe it or not, I never ate sweet potato casserole during my childhood in Virginia. In fact, I don’t remember ever seeing it or having the opportunity to try it. Yet this delightful dish has found its way onto my plate numerous times since my husband and I moved to North Carolina in 1994. Honestly, it’s like dessert for me. My husband and most of our children, on the other hand, initially didn’t gravitate toward this southern favorite. When I first started preparing it
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
for holiday meals, they either put a little on their plates or none at all. But, you know what? Five out of six of us are presently fans. The years have proven friendly to sweet potato casserole, and I’m planning to serve it alongside ham for our Easter dinner. Easter? Yes, you read that correctly—it’s already time this month to celebrate this meaningful day. I treasure it as my favorite holiday, touched deep inside by the significance of Christ’s death and resurrection. I’ve grown to cherish the cross more and more, yet everyone doesn’t share my perspective. “For the word of the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Cor. 1:18, NASB). Unless God the Father draws our hearts to Christ (see John 6:44) and the Holy Spirit opens our eyes to truth, the cross is absurd to us. It’s nothing more than a religious fairy tale or a meaningless symbol. Without God’s intervention, we can’t understand the power of what occurred in the spiritual realm when Christ sacrificed His life. And if we don’t comprehend the power of the cross, we certainly don’t value—or even believe in—the empty grave. Easter comes and goes as a worthless tradition celebrated with springtime flowers, new clothes, a bunny, and candy-filled eggs. I try to focus on the cross daily, knowing my salvation stems from Christ’s death for me. My faith in Christ’s Person and work results in eternal life, and that one horrific moment in time enables God to forgive my sins justly: “without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness” (Heb. 9:22). What does the cross mean to you, friend? Wonderfully, the Gospel message includes the cross and the empty grave. “Christ died for our sins … He was buried … He was raised on the third day … and … He appeared” (1 Cor. 15:3-5). Salvation would not exist without the vacant tomb: “And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless; you are still in your sins” (1 Cor. 15:17). What does the empty grave mean to you, friend? To my slight disappointment, my family lacked appreciation for sweet potato casserole when I introduced it years ago. Similarly—though there’s truly no comparison—we sometimes lack sufficient gratitude for our Savior and His work. But time has a way of changing things. May the glorious reality of Christ’s death and resurrection grow increasingly precious to us with every passing day. JESUS. IS. ALIVE! Easter joy to you, and until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life… Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.
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A
V
Beautiful ine by Debbie Roberson
In spring 2001, I planted a Carolina Jasmine vine beside the wooden fence which surrounds our backyard pool. I watched and waited with great anticipation for the arrival of delicate yellow blossoms. Ever so slowly, the jasmine vine grew up on the trellis, until it eventually reached the top of the pool fence. For some reason though, the vine didn’t bloom. “Maybe next spring,” I thought to myself. Our daughter Susan had her second major surgery in December of that same year. God arranged for Susan to meet her Bryce just days before her surgery. It was love at first sight. Susan did well in the months after her surgery. She was radiantly beautiful and very much in love. She was happier than I had ever seen her. She and Bryce were married on October 12, 2002 - only ten months after they met. Just a few days after the wedding, I was reading Psalm 128 and the 3rd and 4th verses seemed so appropriate for Susan and Bryce. I put their names in the scripture and prayed it for them every day. (Bryce), your wife (Susan) will be like a fruitful vine, Flourishing within your home. And look at those children! There they sit around your table. As vigorous and healthy as olive trees. That is the Lord’s reward for those who fear Him. Fall turned to winter and winter turned to yet another spring. Green tendrils from my jasmine vine began to creep out on either side of the trellis and venture bravely along the top edge of the wooden fence. Yes, the vine was indeed growing, but I must admit that I was disappointed. For two springs now, I had looked forward to the promised yellow blossoms and sweet fragrance. “What had I done wrong,” I wondered? I fertilized it. I watered it. I pulled out the weeds and grass that tried to invade the space around it. I lovingly guided the stray tendrils back up on the trellis when they seemed to lose their grip and fall. Why wouldn’t it bloom? I thought about tearing it down
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
– but something inside me told me to wait. I stopped by Susan’s apartment on a Saturday morning that May and she hesitantly asked me to feel of a lump that had surfaced near her surgery scar. I laid my hand on her belly and felt the hard lump which ran parallel to her incision site. “Fear” suddenly transformed from a word into something living. Icy cold, it gripped the throat of my heart and squeezed. Dread began to suffocate me. I commanded the Mother in me to comment in a seemingly unconcerned way, “Don’t worry Susan. It’s probably just scar tissue.” I couldn’t let her know just how worried I was. Her surgeon later confirmed that Susan had a desmoid tumor. Month after month we made visits to the Oncology Clinic at Chapel Hill. Susan was sick much of the time, but she battled on with a strength that I watched in admiration. She was determined to complete the college semester. She pushed herself to go to class. She knew that God had brought her through the fire before, and she was confident that He would bring her victoriously through this latest trial as well. Bryce stood courageously by her. He was a handsome knight in shining armor sent straight from God for our Susan. To our dismay, the tumor continued to grow and Susan’s condition deteriorated. On December 11, 2003 she was admitted to the hospital in Chapel Hill. Almost a month later on January 7, 2004, she went to Heaven. Early one morning, just a few days after she left us, I read a beautiful poem entitled “The Rose Still Grows Beyond the Wall”. I drew peace from the well of words. The Rose Still Grows Beyond the Wall Near a stony wall a rose once grew, Budded and blossomed in God’s free light; Watered and fed by morning dew, Shedding its sweetness day and night. As it grew and blossomed fair and tall,
Slowly rising to loftier height, It came to a crevice in the wall Through which there shone a beam of light. Onward it crept with added strength, With no fear to face the sharp divide; It followed the light through the crevice-length, And unfolded itself on the other side. The light, the dew, the broadening view, Were found better than they were before, And she lost herself in beauties new, Scattering its fragrance more and more. Shall claim of death cause us to grieve? And make our courage faint or fall? Nay, let us faith and hope receive. She ever lives beyond the wall. Breathing fragrance fair and wide, Just as she did in days of yore; Just as she did on the earthly side; Just as she will forevermore. Adapted, A. L. Frink From the book “Jesus Wept” ~ By Leroy Brownlow Spring seemed to come slowly that year. I craved the warmth of the spring sunshine. I longed to see the trees bud and send forth their delicate green leaves. I yearned to see flowers blooming.
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One sunny morning in March, I was washing dishes and thinking about how much I missed Susan. Jesus whispered, “I know how much you miss her --- but please don’t miss My gifts, Beloved.” I lifted my teary gaze up from the dishwater and looked out the kitchen window. My jasmine vine had sprawled playfully over the top of the pool fence and fallen over the side in wild and joyful abandon. At long last, the vine was blooming profusely with tiny yellow trumpet-like blossoms - the color of the spring sunshine. I had waited spring after spring for the jasmine to bloom. I had even contemplated tearing it down. God always knows best. His timing is always perfect. I stood at the kitchen sink and gazed upon His precious gift to me. I was overcome with thankfulness for His loving kindness … and I was thankful for Susan – our beautiful vine. . . . A fruitful vine near a spring, Whose branches climb over a wall. Genesis 49:22 Debbie Roberson is a wife and the mother of a grown married son. She is also the mother of a beautiful daughter who now lives in Heaven. She is a lover of Jesus with a desire to encourage and inspire others through the words that He puts in her heart.
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Allergy Time, again! by Susan Guest, ASID
R
emember the days of mile high green shag carpet that we sat on for hours? It was so easy to lose a contact lens or even a pencil in the yarn. We would play games while crawling on the carpet or rub our hands together to shock the next person. I always had a case of asthma-thought to be from playing too hard, but it was probably from all the dust mites in the carpet. Last time I visited my cousin in Birmingham, we didn’t realize that there was a cat sleeping under the bed until I woke up at 2:00 in the morning with a severe asthma attack. So many of us suffer from pet dander allergies from cats, dogs, horses or other animals. Almost every year since I was born, I’ve gotten bronchitis in the spring. The pollen from oak trees will always be an enemy. As I’ve aged and learned more about health and the immune system, I am sick less often, but still have to be careful during certain times of the year or in certain situations. We are all surrounded by things that trigger allergies-both indoors and out. In cases of severe allergies and asthma, it might be time to see a specialist. With mild allergies, there are some simple things you can do that will make you breathe more easily. Here are some tips that might be helpful: Consider removing all or most of your carpet and replace with hardwoods, tile, or another hard surface. These are easier to clean and do not harbor dust mites. Use lighter weight window treatments or fabrics that are easier to clean. Many allergy sufferers remove all fabric and use shutters or blinds. Pets cause problems for some people. If you are selecting a pet, choose from the hypo-allergenic breeds of dogs and cats. If you already have indoor animals, vaccumn often using a HEPA filter. If someone in your household smokes, have them go outside. If they are too stubborn and inconsiderate; you can rent or buy machines
pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
that will take some of the toxins out of the air. Remove clothing before coming in from the outdoors so you don’t track pollens into the house. If I did this in our neighborhood, I’d get arrested. I do change clothes, use a sinus cleanse, and take a shower washing pollens out of my hair immediately after working in the yard. Cut out the clutter. The less you have to dust, the easier it is to keep your home clean and allergy friendly. For dust mite allergies, wrap your mattress and pillows in dustfree barriers. Since you spend a lot of time in bed, this Is the most important place to start. Do not let your pets sleep on your pillow if you have pet allergies. Change filters in your air and heat vents often and have ducts cleaned at least every 10 years. New specialty filters are available that you can attach to your system to attract dust, mold, and pollens. Get more information from a reputable heating and air specialist. Boost your immune system. From personal experience, I find that my allergies are less severe if I get plenty of sleep, regular exercise, and eat healthy fruits and veggies. Breathe deeply! Enjoy your time inside and out!
Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
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He Said, She Said
The Power of Table Talk by David and Amy Washco
Has anyone else noticed that the art of communication is taking a beating if not dying altogether? While it’s easy to blame texting and Twitter which glorify brevity, the importance of meaningful conversation begins at home. The key to success for a family no matter how small begins with the kitchen table. Listen up Millennials-the kitchen table is more than a piece of furniture. It’s a tool (round, square or oval) with chairs so people can face each other and talk live―not virtually. For those 40+ years old, you’ll remember that no handheld devices were available much less allowed! The kitchen table was the heart of the home with many uses: families enjoyed meals, children did homework, volcanos for science fair were created, moms and dads paid bills, religion and politics were discussed and family meetings were held. He Said: When Amy and I first dated we realized that the strength of our friendship was based on sharing stories. We both grew up having dinner at kitchen tables with our entire families present. Once in a while we would break out the metal “TV Tray Tables” and eat in front of the TV. This was rare coinciding with a space shuttle launch or major news event. Dinner time was where both of our families discussed the daily events from school, work, church, etc. Amy gets her love of communication from her Mother, Susie, a former English teacher. I not only love my mother-in-law, but feel loved by her as well. One of the greatest parenting and communication techniques I have learned in life came from Susie. When Amy would call her mom, the first question her mother would ask would be, “What was your high and low for the day?” A “Fine,” or “Great,” wouldn’t cut it for that question. This was brilliant! As the parent, you learn what interests your child no matter what age, what excites them, who their friends are, etc. You also learn what brings them down, their emotional trials and maybe even where you need to help them grow. In recent years we added the question, “what is your high, low, and funniest part of the day.”
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
She Said: The kitchen table is where I learned to negotiate the last piece of fried chicken. It’s where I learned that a “C” might be average, but it honestly wasn’t my best. It’s where I saw my older sister take a stand for what she believed―that eggs were evil. (She ate them and promptly threw them back up proving her point to my parents.) The kitchen table is where I learned to play the game my children now love to hate, “Name That Vegetable.” It’s where I learned table manners and how to read body language. It’s where I saw my dad cry for the first time and where I realized my parents were human and made mistakes just like I did. David and I have strong backgrounds in sales, marketing and communication. We believe these skills set people apart and contribute to success not only in the business world but in relationships in general. Simply put, we don’t believe in one word answers. Time is a precious commodity. It’s becoming harder to balance the demands of homework, afterschool activities, and careers much less fend off distractions from technology. Parents have to make table talk a priority. These meaningful discussions allow us to learn about and from each other. Children learn about issues adults face. Adults learn about issues children face. We all learn how to better cope, problem solve and grow from those experiences. The shape of your table and how many chairs are there doesn’t matter. What matters is the heart of your table―that you engage in meaningful conversation. Help your children find their voice, have an opinion and be prepared to offer the world more than one word answers.
David and Amy Washco are survivors of divorce and serve as relationship advocates. With a financial and marketing background, they are married and live in Hickory, NC. David and Amy are parents to 17 year old Savannah and 9 year old Riley.
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Bad weather is coming, have you stocked up? by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC
T
he weather man, who is rarely at the center of the news, always becomes the highlight when bad weather may be approaching. Everyone tunes in or scrolls through to find out the latest forecast. Will there be a storm, snow, ice or maybe a mix? And, most importantly. Will schools and workplaces close? In our small southern town, this news is big news. Everyone tries to predict how bad it will be. For those who aren’t from the South, the trips to the store to stock up on milk, bread and other supplies seems rather absurd. To those from around here, however, this is just a chance to stock the pantry with everything you might want or need. Just in case. Because, if the snow really comes, and we have all that we need, then we can fully focus on cozying up and cuddling with our cubs in our caves for a day or two. Our stocked fridges and pantries are just storehouses. And, storehouses ensure safety and provision during a season of limited resources, limited mobility or even drought. While no mom wants to think about the possibility of not having enough for their family, we do what we can to be ready for whatever may come. But storms come in many different ways. At some point, we know that the day of not enough is likely to come in one form or another. Even if we never have to cope with a shortage of physical provisions, most mommas know that they will encounter a challenge that threatens to tax them emotionally or spiritually. When these come, we find out that in order to make it to the other side we rely upon the reserves we have within us and or the support we have around us. Thankfully, God’s word reminds us that He is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. We need not fear if the earth gives way, the mountains are moved, the waters roar and foam, or the mountains tremble. (Psalm 46:1-3) God will preserve His people when they seek Him for shelter. But, being able to lean into this truth and other hope-filled promises means that we must
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
know it or stored it at some point. Stockpiling words of hope happens when we regularly spend time with God, studying His word. The truths we assimilate and the knowledge we gain about our God literally become food for the soul. Many years ago, a dear friend encouraged me to ask God to give me three to five words that sum up a sermon or a main point in the Scripture or lesson I am studying. These become the truths, promises, or descriptors of God that will travel with me throughout my day. Sometimes I write these on a card, in a journal, in the margin of my bible or even on my hand. Throughout the day, I utter them under my breath. Often called breath prayers because they can be spoken in one breath, this practice has repeatedly helped me cling to a specific truth God has revealed to me that day. Sometimes the words are requests like, “Lord, be my helper today.” More often they are a short summary of a verse or passage. Here are a few from the last week or so of my time with God. •
Wait for the Lord.
•
You surround me.
•
For your name’s sake, you lead and guide.
•
I am redeemed.
•
The Lord is my confidence.
•
Seek His wisdom.
On days where the rhythm remains the same and nothing but humdrum happens in my life, I have to actively remind myself of the precious provision I hold in my hand. But, when the beat is broken and a battle arises before me, these power packed portions of Scripture offer the emotional and spiritual nourishment I need to cope with the conflict. Sometimes, out of the blue, the truths I held onto weeks earlier will flood my mind and keep me from unraveling. Like food pulled from a storehouse during a bad storm, His truths provide us with the sustenance we require to resist temptation, to trust Him and to press on for His glory and His honor. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes! Psalm 119:10-12
Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor. For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.
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A Simple Piece of Wood by Jan McCanless
During our snowstorm towards the end of January, I looked out my window one day and noticed the lack of color everywhere. The sky was gray; bare, gray trees, and some dirty snow on the ground. Very monochromatic. Until that is, a bright red, male cardinal landed on a tree branch right outside my window. His coloring was brilliant and beautiful, and he stood out so well in such a bland background. Wow, I thought. Then, moving to another window in a different part of the house, I looked out and saw a half dozen daffodils in full bloom, amidst all the snow and gray. Another wow, for sure. When we look hard enough, and really “see” what we’re looking at, there’s color all around us, and glory in this world we have. You have to look on these things as positive signs that spring will soon be with us. Two days later, I heard birds singing. The wonders just never stop !!! Spring is the happiest of seasons, I think. Here we are digging out from a cold and uncomfortable winter, and looking around us, we see renewal all over the place. Spring conjures up all sorts of visuals for me, flowers, warm air, sunshine, longer days, a real sense of the earth awakening from slumber. The best part of all this, is the knowledge that we are on the cusp of Easter. Easter, even the word is beautiful, peaceful, quiet. As a child, I always thought Christmas was the end all to be all, until I aged, and realized what Easter truly meant to me. Now, it’s my favorite holiday, and as a former pastor once told me, “now I have grown up”. When you stop to think that the very basis of our Christianity
pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
is based on the Resurrection, it becomes the most precious story in the Bible. The crucifiction of Jesus was based on a lot of lies told about him. He was marched to his death, carrying a simple piece of wood, upon which they would nail Him to another piece of wood. Awesome. That piece of wood brought the crucifiction home to all who were there, to us, and made us realize what this man Jesus really meant to the world. Where would we be if He had decided that no, He was not going to die for our sin, no, He would not be nailed to the cross, and no, there would be no redemption ? All because of that piece of wood. How could such a simple thing carry so much significance for us? How could such an event change the course of history, and lead us to the movement known as Christianity? Perhaps, in this day and time, with so much going on in the world, we need to pause a little longer, see a little bit deeper, and really understand what the Easter season brings to us, It’s more than flowers, warm air, and jasmine; new shoes and pretty hats. Two thousand years ago, a prophet walked up the hill to Golgotha, to be nailed on a cross, so, we might have eternal life. So that we who came after Him would benefit by spending eternity with the Father. We who lived and walked the earth centuries later would see the beauty in a drab field, we would have our wow moment in the colors of a bird, and the glory in some bent, snow laden flowers. We would have eternal life, because of Him, and the simple piece of wood He carried. He is risen - -- He is risen, indeed !!!
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Submitted by Angie Houston Submitted by Jerrica Miller
Submitted by Higgins Photography Submitted by Retrica
Submitted by Elizabeth Queen for Royal Photography
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
Mary vs. Martha by Holly Boone
W
e know the story. The words of Jesus, “but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”Luke 10:42. Too often I am finding that this story is being used by women to label themselves and each other in a way that isn’t helpful. I do not think God intended us to use this passage to pat ourselves on the back for being a “Mary” while trying not to make the “Martha’s” feel bad. Both women loved the Lord, both women had great faith in Christ. Jesus loved their family and was comfortable in their home. Martha was rebuked for her complaining. She called Mary out in front of Jesus for not helping. In that moment she was serving herself, not others. She was putting her pride above Mary. Her service wasn’t what was being rebuked, her hospitality and the way she opened her home wasn’t the issue, it was her attitude in it. The lesson is that service to Christ must always be subordinate to worship of Christ. What if Mary though complained to Christ about Martha for making too much noise in the kitchen and doing too much while she sat with Jesus. We can label ourselves as Mary’s while self-righteously defeating the purpose of why Mary was chosen as a worshipful follower and example to us. I don’t think because you can make Brie and jam tarts and organize gatherings that you should be labeled a Martha. Someone who is a student of the Word and loves to write and speak about God’s Word shouldn’t be labeled a Mary. I am a follower of Christ. That is the only label that highlights what He did for me on the cross, the redemption of my wretchedness into His gift righteousness. Out of that pours a desire to worship Him and know him intimately through the living Word of God and there is also the desire to love like He did and serve and give and use my gifts to encourage the body of Christ. Our gifts are different.. How I serve out of my home, how I serve at church, may look different than yours, as it should be. As followers of Christ that service and hospitality can’t come in a humble and God honoring way that ONLY points to Him unless we are first seated at His feet and filled with the joy that comes through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of scripture and truths that show us who God is. Believe me, I have experienced what it is like to serve for the wrong reasons. I have also experienced dry seasons where my worship of God wasn’t being put before all else. But God tells us there can be both. There should be both. “What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.” James 2:14-17. We shouldn’t compare, esteem, or condemn how a woman’s hospitality looks (chalkboard menus vs. paper napkins) or what her time with the Lord looks like (2 hour prayer sessions vs. 1 minute devotional). We SHOULD be encouraging each other to put God first in ALL we do. God knows our hearts. “Martha allowed her anxiety about what she must do for Christ overwhelm her gratitude over what He would do for her.” (John MacArthur) There are self labeled “Mary’s” that can have this same anxiety as well. We all have moments of the good Martha serving out of love and humility and bad Martha serving with pride. We can be Mary truly soaking in and spending time with God in His Word or could be a prideful Mary who is esteeming herself. Labeling someone a Mary or a Martha gives connotations that just are not true and miss the point of this passage in the Bible. It’s not about being a great event planner vs. being great at studying the Bible. The point is to show us ALL, no matter what our bend or tendency is in our personality, that we should put knowing Him first, put being intimate with him and growing our faith and relationship with Him and His Word first. I would love to see those labels go away as we see ourselves as the Lord sees us. “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2016
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