Volume 13 / Issue 3
May 2017
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
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from the By Judy Smith
However, things had not gone good with the pregnancy and I was told not to expect to take a baby home with me. The memory of the moment I became aware enough to ask about her and was told They say an elephant never forgets which brings me to a question. she was fine, well, even on drugs, I will not forget that one. Who are they? I did a little research on this and though I did find out some interesting facts, I could not find anywhere that How can I talk about things etched in my mind if I do not someone had given them a memory test. I always felt inferior remember the September 11, 2001 attacks, which killed 2,977 when someone said elephants never forget considering I have victims? That day is the most horrific day during my lifetime. never had a great memory. Age is not helping in that area either. Working in a newsroom and seeing it unfold will never, ever be I just tell people that I agree with Maxine when she says “Age erased from my mind. doesn’t make you forgetful. Having way too many stupid things I could share so many more memories but space does not permit to remember makes you forgetful”. right now. Yet there is one more I want to share that I will never Yet some things are just etched in my mind that I will never forget. The day I accepted Jesus as my Savior. You have no forget, as I am sure is the same with you. My childhood was not idea how I wish I could tell you that I have lived faithfully for the best so I don’t remember a lot of things from that era of my him since that day but not even close. So you can imagine how life that pertains to my childhood. Now my husband, on the other thankful I am that He is a forgiving God and a God of another hand, his memory is astonishing. He literally remembers things chance...and another and another. He refuses to give up on me that happened to him as a toddler. He was a surprise baby and his even when I think I am not worth it. sisters who were older, totally spoiled him. Plus, he could do no Have you met my Savior? He wants to meet you and He will not wrong as far as his mother was concerned. give up on you either. Even with a bad memory, there are certain things that are etched in my mind, like the day John F. Kennedy was shot. There have Judy Smith been many shows done about that since then. Shows that run the Heart2Heart TV footage of that day, shows on the conspiracy theories that run Motivation & Inspirational Speaking the gamut. Yet I can see the images from that day in my mind. judy@heart2heartmotivation.com 828-320-9936 My parents worked during the night, so they were asleep. You literally took your life in your own hands if you woke them up for any reason. I had to do it and you will be glad to know they did not kill me. How frightened I was that day and my parent’s reaction just added fuel to my fear. They were worried we would be in war and since my dad was a World War II vet and he was so very concerned, well, you can imagine how I felt. As I got older, I was forming my own good memories. There are the precious memories of the days my babies were born. I do not remember the moment they were born because I had to have a cesarean for both but I sure can tell you about the 36 hours labor leading up to my first one being born. Can you say scream? The second one was a scheduled cesarean so that part was a breeze.
Memories....the ones that burn in your brain!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3
S
phie Woman’s Magazine
Contents Message from the Heart
3
Reaching Your Full Potential
6
Sophisticated Women
8
Girlfriends in God
10
Me, Myself, & Inc.
Mothers, the Eighth Wonder of the World By:Jan McCanless
14 18
Living Your Life At Any Age
20
Truth that Transforms
24
Happy Mother’s Day
26
Prevent Wedding Day Foot Pain
28
Memorial Day BBQ Tips
30
By: Judy Smith
By: Kim Fletcher
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For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com or call 828-466-0122 ************************************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************************************************************
pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Escape the Mundane
by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author
I
love Hawaii. Not only because it is a beautiful place, because it is a culture that values personal stories. In fact, you are likely to overhear a native Hawaiian say, “Hey, let’s talk story.”
I have just finished a project, a FREE eBook that has created more excitement among my clients and readers than anything I have ever done. And it started with part of my own story. Those of you who read my articles regularly probably remember me sharing just over a year ago how I had released my own custom-built lake home in exchange for a custom-built life of greater freedom. The following excerpt is taken from the Introduction to my latest book, Escape the Mundane: Create a Life You Love on Any Budget… What does the phrase “Escape the Mundane” bring to mind? You might be wondering why you should trust my insights when there are countless life coaches and authors to choose from. Well, let me answer that question with honesty and humility. I found the escape hatch. I escaped the mundane! For over fifteen years, I coached countless clients who wanted to take their lives to the next level. I made a commitment from the start to only guide people with principles I found worth living out in my own life. I have come to believe that anyone can create a life you love on any budget. In fact, I am so certain of it that I want you to begin to dream again. What dream, vision or desire has eluded you to this point in life? Many adults will find that the place to begin tapping into positive change is to begin to dream again. I decided it was time to take my own path as seriously as I took coaching others. I began to apply the same coaching strategies and principles I had used for over a decade to coach others to my own life. The result was a totally transformed life. I recently found a fitting title for my transition. I escaped the mundane! I decided to abandon the American dream in pursuit of my own dream. That led me to purge my life of over two-thirds of my material possessions, including my own lake house. The outcome has been phenomenal. Do you want to transform any area of your life? As we embark on this journey, begin to dream about any area of your life where you long to see improvement, big or small. I invite you to see your own situation through the grid of my own personal story, as you join me in taking many of the steps that gave me the courage and wisdom to reinvent my life. Here are just a few of my coaching strategies to consider. The insights will equip you to coach yourself to greater personal growth than you ever dreamed possible.
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
•
You have choices and options that you may be overlooking… take some quiet time to think out of the box so you can begin to see beyond what is holding you back. I wanted financial freedom, but it took downsizing to achieve that dream.
•
Those who are deeply anchored have more forward momentum… think about your values, faith and core beliefs. Now, make sure you attach any goals or future plans to these anchors that give your life stability.
•
Fears will sabotage your positive change if you don’t disarm them… look your fears in the eye and determine that your dreams hold more power than those fears.
•
It is possible to become the person you envy the most… I tell my clients that there is usually just one thing that distinguishes a person from the individual they envy most. That person took the first step. Take a step toward your dreams today.
Just over one year ago, I handed over the keys to my own lakeside home. I traded in a custom-built home for a custom-built life. The cost was great, but the life I am living today is far greater! Are you ready? Your escape hatch is coming into view. You will soon be equipped to Escape the Mundane. If you are ready to create a life you truly love, then the rest of this short eBook may be the catalyst you need to jump-start your new life path. Whose dream are you currently living? Is it the American Dream or your personal dream? Why don’t you join this growing community as we seek to Escape the Mundane?! Access the link below and get started today. Your new life is coming into view! To access Kim’s FREE eBook, simply visit: kimfletchercoach.com. This short read will empower you to coach yourself to a life of greater freedom and significance. Please feel free to share this link with those that you want to include on this journey. Kim’s contact information is found in the book for those who may want to partner with a passionate life coach.
Bio: Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach, Speaker and Author of global impact. She enjoys bringing lasting transformation to the personal and professional lives of her national and local clients. Contact her directly to learn more about how a coaching partnership might launch you and your team to the next level: kimfletchercoach@ gmail.com. Watch next month for a link to receive her latest eBook FREE!!!
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
S
ophisticated
Bear Fruit!
Women...
T
he question, “Do I need coaching?” was posed to me by an individual who inquired about my “line of work.” My succinct answer without hesitation was “Yes.” Coaching is for individuals who want one, two or even three of the following: Help achieving some kind of change. Assistance learning a system, a set of strategies, or adopting fresh mental model. To reach a new level of individual performance. You’ve heard the saying, If you are not growing you are dying. Well, it’s true! In the world of coaching, we call that being stuck. If you’re stuck……you’re tied down.…your resources are limited. …there is only one perspective. …the goal is survival. Think quicksand. In survival mode, you just want to exist…get through…and live in the comfort zone. The state of stuck…sucks. It sucks the life out of you. It sucks the life out of the people around you. It sucks the life out of the organizations you serve.
By Nicole Greer, PPCC aka The Vibrant Coach
Hate grows. The seed has a DNA that reproduces more of the same. Choose to sling a seed that has the potential to shape the world in a positive way. I sling the seeds of hope, motivation, and growth. What kind of seed do you have to sling? 3. We reap in a different season than we sow. Seed needs time to grow. You plant in spring and come summer you harvest. Effort, discipline, and patience in the growth process is required for a harvest. You must trust the seed and believe in its potential. 4. We reap more than we sow. When a one single seed is planted, it is designed to bear multiple seed. This law alone should motivate everyone to till the soil of their lives, sling their seed, and tend to the details of their dreams. The law states you’ll reap more than you ever dreamed or imagined! Just like a plant grows, flowers, and gives off seed, so is the human existence. You must plant yourself in well fertilized soil. You must choose to reach taller, to expand, and to put out effort. You must bear fruit.
Alternatively, you can grow, expand, and become everything you were created to be. This simply takes energy and the willingness to expend it. It’s all about being generous with your self, others and the organizations you serve. This is called bearing fruit.
When one growing season is done, you must give off seed and start the process again. Plant yourself in well fertilized soil. Challenge yourself to reach taller, expand yourself, and put some effort out into the world.
If you are stuck, you hoard everything around you. You fear if you give away any kind of energy, you’ll die. This kind of thinking flies in the face of the laws of nature.
What’s the payoff?
In fact, there are four laws of nature that demonstrate the power of bearing fruit. 1. We reap only what is sown. If you put out energy, effort and enthusiasm, you will get some in return. Offer nothing to the world and odds are you will get nothing in return. You must decide to sling your seed! 2. We reap the same kind of seed that is sown. When you sling out seeds of love, love grows. Sling out seeds of hate.
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
Living a grounded life with deep roots that provide fruit for the world. I call this kind of life a Vibrant Life.
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com and www.thelydiagroup.com
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When You Feel Like God Is Hiding by Gwen Smith
Today’s Truth
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
Friend to Friend
“Preston! We give up! Come out from where you are hiding!” My kids were playing hide and seek several years ago while my husband and I were upstairs packing for a trip. Hunter and Kennedy had looked everywhere they could think of for their sly older brother, but couldn’t find him. After a while they gave up. As I packed, I checked some choice spots in my walk-in closet to see if I could catch a glimpse of the victorious hider. Nothing. Several minutes later, as I was loading toiletries into my travel case, the cabinet door beneath my husband’s sink slowly opened. My contortionist son quietly and carefully crawled out from underneath the bathroom sink. He glanced my way, and with a twinkle in his eye said, “Hey mom.” “Honey!” I replied. “Your brother and sister asked you to show yourself 10 minutes ago. Why did you stay in there so long?” “I didn’t want them to know where my favorite hiding spot was!” He said in a hushed tone. I have to admit, I was impressed with his hiding strategy. Seemed pretty savvy for a 10 year-old. He didn’t want to be found and didn’t want to give up his best hiding spot. Sometimes it can seem like God doesn’t want to be found. We can feel as if He’s unreachable, hiding on the other side of the cosmos watching Netflix with a DO NOT DISTURB sign on His door. In Psalm 10, the psalmist expressed His frustration to God. “Why, O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1 NIV) In the ashes of despair Job asked God a similar question. “Why do you hide your face and consider me your enemy?” (Job 13:24) Even thought the psalmist and Job felt this way, it’s important for us to understand this Biblical truth: God never hides. To the contrary, the Bible tells us that He wants to be found. That He is always with us and always sees us. That we are fearfully and wonderfully made by the hands of One who knows everything about us and cherishes us. God created us to know and to find Him. And let’s be honest girls, deep inside we all want to be known and loved.
pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
In Psalm 139, David painted an amazing picture of God’s stubborn presence in our lives: “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.” (Psalm 139: 7-10) Have you ever felt hidden from God? Be assured today: you are not. He sees you and you’re not alone. No matter where you are. No matter what you’ve been through. No matter what you’re going through. God’s not hiding and He’s not playing childish games. He loves you. He wants to be found by you. He said to the prophet Jeremiah, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13) The same is true for us. Each time we search for the Lord, we can find Him … and in finding Him we find peace.
Let’s Pray
Dear Lord, It is comforting to know that you are constantly with me. That You know exactly where I am and what I’m facing. Please hold me fast with Your right hand and guide each moment of my day. In Jesus’ Name I pray,Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Read Romans 8:35-39. Nothing can separate us from God’s presence and His love, but sin can hinder our intimacy. Ask God to search your heart and reveal and remove any sin. What is your hiding strategy? Do you sometimes run from God’s presence? Why? Grapple with this one. Ask the LORD for insight and write about it on the wall of my blog.
More from the Girlfriends
FREE EBOOK: Gwen Smith is a speaker, worship leader, songwriter, and author of the new book, I Want I ALL, which includes a Bible Study Guide right in the back of the book; no extra purchase required. I WANT IT ALL is easy to read yet contains compelling and challenging content. You’ll connect with the stories, probably dust off a few heart dreams, think bigger thoughts of God, laugh and smile a lot, search your soul, and even cry a little … because each page lovingly directs you to the personal grace and truth of JESUS. Ebook link>> http://gwensmith.net/free-iwia-devotional
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Are you existing or truly living? I heard someone say recently when asked how they were doing, “Oh, I’m getting by.” I couldn’t help but wonder why this seems to be the way many view their daily existence. For some, “getting by” is financially motivated, as the stress of bills, obligations and making ends meet create internal pressure to keep on keeping on. For others, it may be emotionally “getting by” because of relationship turmoil and feeling as though one must walk on eggshells to get through each day. And then for others, it is physically “getting by” as an illness or health issue seems to monopolize their existence, continuously reminding them of what they cannot do as a result of the ailment. If you are going through a difficult time or phase in your life, choose to live versus exist in each moment despite what is occurring around you or to you. Here are some ways you can shift your mindset: See beyond the present: Look back on any other time in your life when you were experiencing great stress or challenges, and remind yourself that it was temporary. The beauty of living is that we will eventually get to the other side of a difficult situation. One of the best ways to help you get to the other side is to truly believe and see beyond where you currently are through envisioning what you ultimately desire. The power of visioning, through journaling, meditation or a combination, will ignite your ability to see solutions and options you may not have been able to see before. It will also help you appreciate this moment right now, knowing you will get through it and be better and stronger. Be open to possibilities: Seeing possibilities and then doing nothing to act upon them leaves you in a wishful state of mind instead of an inspired action state of being. Once you have identified even a small nuance of potential remedy to a situation or solution to a problem, explore it, investigate it, gain more insight and embrace its potential. Engage in others’ perspectives with a commitment to being open to their suggestions. Think your best thoughts: It was quite some time ago when I caught myself saying “Oh, I’m getting by … hanging in there.”
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
In catching myself merely existing, I had that epiphany that shifted me from that moment forward. Challenges are a way of life. Some feel devastating while others feel merely annoying. However, the most important thing we can do for ourselves is to not allow whatever undesirable thing that is going on in our lives cause our thinking to defeat us. When I made the conscious effort to shift, I determined that when I was asked how I was coping or dealing with a situation, I would state “I am doing the best that I can under the circumstances,” and then I would proceed to share the best of what has occurred no matter how small of a step it may have been. And do you know what happened? I not only made the person asking feel better with a sense of relief that something was going right, it also helped me feel better to share something positive instead of getting caught up in the negative. Do what feels good: Don’t forget to have a relationship with yourself. This means nurturing your spirit in ways that make you feel good, feel whole, feel inspired, and feel enriched. Make time to do things that you love doing. Feeling good also begins with seeing the good in moments. What do you see that delights you … flowers, sunshine, a favorite photo? What scents do you love that inspire wonderful memories? Surround yourself with these aromas. What feels glorious to the touch … clean linen sheets, a hug from a dear friend? Pause and take in a moment, and determined to only see what feels good and wonderful. In spite of what exists in your life right now, wanted or unwanted, you do have a choice in how you allow what is occurring to impact the way you think and the way you choose to live out each day. Living is our birthright and we each are destined to live our best life if we embrace this power within us.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
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In an effort to help those friends and who lost their homes and possessions dur recent flooding, we at Health Smart Ph would like to give back. Please consider s by the store and donating your spare ch help those in need. We willYoubeA collectin Wishing & Healthy donations and will beHappy donating all of the p Mother’s Day to Palmetto Project Community Floo
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
Mothers, The Eighth Wonder of the World
by Jan McCanless It’s been said that Mothers Day is either the happiest day of the year, or the saddest. . . . ..depending. For me, it has always brought great joy, I have 3 dumplings, who have blessed me with nine delightful grandchildren, and I cherish each and every one of them. I can’t recall how many of the funny, handmade cards I have received, or the numerous macaroni laden cigar boxes that have held hankies or jewelry, and one particular Mothers Day, my oldest decided he would take me for a ride in his truck - -- -as a treat. Now, his truck had those big, bad boy tires on it, so it was difficult for me to just hop right in. Grabbing me by the behind, he pushed me up and onto the seat. Then, we went 4-wheeling. A Mothers Day I’ll never forget !!! Well, such is the life of a mom. For my own mother, I always tried to give her something nice for her day, and one year I bought her a beautiful flowered dress, in her favorite color of lavender, and I smiled each time I saw her wear it. I was so proud of that dress, and it took all my babysitting money to buy it, but, if she was happy, I was happy. Later in life, as she became more sedentary, I would buy her a large hanging basket, as she loved flowers. Usually Begonias, and she seemed to take such delight in watering and nurturing those flowers. The year she died, her hanging Begonia was still thriving, so, I brought it home and hung it where I could see it every day, and it absolutely flourished - - -big, beautiful blossoms on it, and it was big and bushy, I’d look at that plant and I just knew she was ok, and happy. So, we come to grandchildren. Oh what a blessing they are, and what fun !!!!! I’d be a mother ten times over if I could enjoy those grands for a lifetime, and one of them, 12 year old Trevor, thinks I am awesomely awesome !! It doesn’t get any better than that !!!! Well, he has awesome parents, so, I guess it runs in the family. There is a beautiful saying, framed and on my bedroom wall that says it all.: MOTHER
To One Who Bears the Sweetest Name And Adds a Luster to the Same Long Life to Her: For There’s no Other Who Takes the Place of One’s dear Mother I couldn’t have said it better. God Bless all the mothers, and have a wonderful day . .. .you deserve it !!!!
Jan McCanless is an award winning author of 13 books, a freelance columnist, and premier southern humorist. a retired teacher. She is grandmother to 9 cherubs and is a commissioned lay minister of the Lutheran faith.
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
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LIVING YOUR LIFE AT ANY AGE! by Susan Guest
I
recently attended a continuing education class on “Thriving in Place” given by expert B.J. Miller. There are so many of us Baby Boomers that, at some point, there is going to be a shortage of affordable housing options for the aging population. I was excited to learn about some of the things happening across the nation that may one day be part of our life in this area. There are so many interesting places to live, now! Malls are being converted into housing for seniors with huge social areas. Tiny houses and 70’s Airstream Trailers are hot places to live (if you don’t mind reducing your stuff!) Lifestyle villages, where you can live in an area that nurtures your passions, are becoming popular. For instance, you can live in a village that promotes exercises and yoga, art endeavors, sports and entertainment, etc. Pocket neighborhoods for age 55 plus are being developed with a common club house and huge green space. Each of the 9-12 homes around this has a back porch that opens on to a green area. Raised bed vegetable gardens or outdoor games are located in the common area. Backyard houses are becoming popular for recent college graduates who need affordable options. These allow friends or family members to live reasonably without being in your space all the time! Backyard houses are also good if you have a caregiver who needs to live close. Villa homes are popping up near college campuses and retirement communities. These have 4 or 5 units around a shared social space. Every unit is in a corner which gives better natural light, and has a small living room and kitchenette. The social area might include a huge chef’s kitchen or a movie room. A game room, pool, or a large living room might also be in the social area. Many of us love our neighborhoods and lifestyle. If you are determined to stay in your home as long as possible, here are some ideas that might help you in the future.
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
If you are building a home, consider incorporating large closets in the same area on two different floors. This will allow you to put in an elevator if you ever need it! Have the doors in every room 36” wide to allow for a wheelchair to pass through. Put supports in the bath walls on every side of the toilet in case you need to install a grab bar at some point. Have a zero entry shower (no hump) at least three or four feet in size. Place the shower controls close to the outside for you or a care giver to regulate the flow and temperature of the water. Make sure the toilet color contrasts with the floor for aging eyes. Don’t use border rugs or carpets with a dark color on the edges if you or one of your family members has eye problems. In the kitchen, if you are renovating or designing a new space, use drawer appliances on the bottom cabinets. Have full extension drawers in your cabinets and a 34” counter height. Make your base cabinets removable for later options. If you can add a transition space between the bright outdoors and inside, it will help aging eyes adjust better. A porch is perfect for this and is a lovely addition to any home! If you plan to renovate your home now for future needs, make sure you have a master bedroom and bath on the main floor. On the exterior of your home, add ramps in front of at least one door. Select finishes such as flooring and tiles that are easy to maintain and non-slip. Try to incorporate solar panels that lower your energy usage since you will eventually be living on a fixed income. Again, have a bedroom and space for a care giver. Use warmer colors like red or yellow since your eyes will yellow as you age. Add more light to your home-especially task lighting needed for laundry and cooking. Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
Truth that Transforms WRAPPED IN STORIES THAT STIR THE SOUL by Mary Felkins
She Has Done a Beautiful Thing. “She has done a beautiful thing to Me.” Matthew 26:10b, Mark 14:6b
When the woman appears in Matthew and Mark’s gospel account, she was given no name. John’s gospel references this woman as Mary from Bethany, the one who poured perfume on the Lord’s feet and then wiped His feet with her hair (12:3). But her name and identity doesn’t matter; it was her actions that were remarkable. So much so that both Matthew and Mark give the same account of Jesus’ response. “I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” Matthew 26:13, Mark 14:9 Jesus must have made this proclamation with enough emphasis and passion that these two disciples each took the same mental notes and recorded the truth accordingly. When the woman entered the home of Simon the Leper, she held an alabaster jar of expensive perfume called nard, or spikenard. “a woman came with a jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard.” (Mark 14: 3) Nard was a class of aromatic, amber-colored, essential oil derived from the flowering plant of the Valerian family (Nardostachys jatamansi). Their stems were crushed and distilled into this thick and fragrant oil (https://en.wikipedia. org/wiki/Spikenard). Being a somewhat complicated process to go from plant to perfume, it drove up the value and cost to a potential consumer. Now…in my humble opinion…nard, or spikenard, was
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
not the most marketable name for a fragrance. Any notable perfumer might have suggested something along the lines of Ancient Alluring, Oil Irresistible, or Essence of Valerian. At any rate, the woman was someone worth noting because of what she did to Jesus, not who she was. ~She came to Jesus. What about me? Do I look for where God is and join Him there? Or do I flag Him down to come join me in my own agenda? ~She broke the jar. What about me? Am I willing to break something of great value for the blessing of another? Am I willing to be broken? Or am I clutching my piggy bank to my chest? ~She poured out that expensive perfume, about a pint (2 cups) of it (John 12:3) What about me? Do I give my ‘perfume’ generously? Do I pour myself out for others? Or withhold a portion when it starts to hurt? Scripture records that the woman’s sacrifice was what she’d done to him, rather than for him. An action or sacrifice done to someone runs deeper than something done for another. It can suggest a greater personal sacrifice, a desire to pay honor to another. The difference is subtle, but powerful. It could be argued that the woman didn’t realize the value of the perfume, but I’m not buying that. Not at all. I think she was well aware of its value and what she could sell it for. Through her eyes, perhaps, the nard didn’t compare to the sacrifice Jesus would be making for her in His upcoming death for the forgiveness of sin. She may have thought, ‘This isn’t much, but it’s the best I have so I’m giving it all to the One who can’t be out given.’
What about the disciples, those hand-picked followers of Jesus? In a manner of speaking, they flipped out over her actions. “Why this waste?”, they asked. “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” (Matthew 26:8-9) And Jesus’ response? “Leave her alone…She has done a beautiful thing to Me.” (Matthew 26:10 and Mk 14:6) The woman displayed a deep reverence and respect for Jesus, symbolically preparing Him for burial by anointing His head. For without Jesus’ death, she had no hope. Neither would I. Were she merely being ostentatious, looking to be written up in the Bethany Herald, He’d have seen right through her. God accepts lavish expenditure when deep devotion to Him is the motive. What the woman did to Jesus was, indeed, beautiful. In years to come, much will be said of what I’ve done, too. Will it be a beautiful thing? Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Her first novel, a contemporary Christian romance, is currently under contract with Pelican Book Group. She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written. She is married to Bruce Felkins. Together they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver. She’ll take a break from writing to watch Fixer Upper or if chocolate is waved beneath her nose or if her laptop is on fire. For stories that stir the soul, Mary cordially invites you to her website, www.maryfelkins.com, where you can plunge into a deep, spiritual ocean or enjoy a hearty laugh out loud. Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 25
Happy
Mother’s
Day
by Letty Lozano
Proverbs 6:20-21
My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them always on your heart; fasten them around your neck. I can’t believe it has been twenty-five years since my mother suffered a major stroke at the young age of 62. She is now 87 and since then has had to live with limited mobility and loss of speech. The thing I miss the most is the memory that’s seems to be fading of how she used to talk and the sound of her voice. Although she never regained her speech, I’ve always been grateful that it never affected her expressions, smiles, laughter and even the ability to disagree. For the most part her long term memory has always been intact and just recently her short term memory has gotten a little worse, but again she is 87. I admire my mom more than she will ever know. She accepted her new way of life with such courage, grace and strength. I often wonder what is truly going on in her head. She can’t talk, yet she manages to get her point across about everything. I wonder if the thoughts in her head are as clear as mine? Can she talk in her head, just not out loud? Does she talk when she’s dreaming? These are just some of the questions I may never know the answer to. Life sometimes doesn’t come in the order in which we expect. There were times in my life when I felt somewhat cheated. My son was only 2 at the time and my daughter was born 4 years later. They never knew what it was like to stay at grandmas for the weekend or to pick them up after school or have heart to heart talks. I never really had the opportunity to have my mom help me with my children. Over the years we came to accept things the way they were and we learned to communicate by questions and actions. I had the opportunity to witness my children become more humble as they also sacrificed when I needed to be with her as much as they needed to be with me. She has taught everyone around her a thing or two about life. She has molded my children to be just as loving and nurturing as she is. She has taken a piece of her heart and given it to my children and for that I am very grateful. As I look back, it is very clear that neither my children nor me were cheated at all. My mother has taught my children so many lessons about life, God and love. They grew up learning by her example to be generous, compassionate, to love others and help whenever they can. Just by my mothers presence they learned how to be a little more patient and nurturing but most of all, loving God and being grateful. As a mother, I have experienced a love beyond what I could ever imagine. When my children were born, it was never about me anymore. At that point it was all about my children, yet there were times when my children and elderly parents both wanted and needed my attention at the same time. My children traveled through that journey with me.
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
My mom continues to teach us many lessons and we are grateful for each day that we are blessed to enjoy each other’s company. I thank my children who are now adults for the sacrifices they made when they needed me, but my mother needed me more. And understanding that by my children helping me they were helping their grandmother, and by helping their grandmother, they were helping me too. Every year my children ask me what I want for Mother’s Day and every year I tell them the same thing. “ A card.” A specifically hand picked card, or better yet, one that is written with their own words. As a writer, one of the things I love the most is “words,” especially those that come from the heart. So from my heart to all mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters or anyone who has a heart for children, “Happy Mother’s Day” Whether alive or only alive in spirit, may you always know how much you are loved and appreciated. And as a mother myself, I will continue to thank God for the beautiful and precious gift of motherhood. What a blessing!
Letty Lozano is a writer and author of her first Memoir, “Traveling Blind.” As a survivor of a loved ones suicide, her memoir was born out of the responses she received from readers of blog entries written during her painful journey from utter despair to a renewal of her faith and enjoyment of life. She believes only God the creator can provide the comfort, strength of mind, and encouragement required by survivors to travel blindly into the future full of confidence and renewed joy. www.lettylozano.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
W
Foot pain is a common complaint for those unaccustomed to wearing stilettos or formal footwear. Wedding attire is not worn every day, so it’s no surprise that wedding footwear may contribute to some aches and pains. Podiatrists warn that heels between one and two inches in height are the best to maintain foot health. But that heal size does not work for all brides. Brides-to-be, bridesmaids and others can employ these tips to keep their feet pain-free throughout the ceremony and reception.
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• Choose shoes that fit and leave a little room. Standing and dancing can cause feet to swell, sometimes as much as one half-size larger. Make sure the shoes you plan to wear to the wedding afford potentially swollen feet a little breathing room. • Slip in a pair of insoles. Stores carry a variety of insoles that can add cushioning, distribute weight and prevent rubbing or chafing of the feet. • Break in the shoes. It’s not a good idea to wear a brand new pair of shoes when you know you’ll be on your feet most of the day. Instead, purchase wedding shoes several weeks in advance of the event. Wear them around the house with a pair of socks to stretch out straps and enable them to mold to your foot shape. Wearing them in advance also helps identify spots that rub or are likely to cause blisters. • Consider wearing stockings. It’s now less of a fashion faux pas to attend formal events with bare legs thank it once was, but it may be in your best interest to wear a pair of stockings to a wedding. The thin material will help alleviate rubbing and hot spots from skin-onshoe direct contact. • Stretch and soak feet prior and afterward. Wearing heels can put strain on your calves, creating extra pain. Stretch your feet and legs whenever possible. And after a long night, make sure a pedicure is one of the first spa experiences you enjoy on your honeymoon.
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pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
Memorial Day BBQ Tips M
emorial Day weekend marks the unofficial start of summer. For many, Memorial Day weekend also signifies their first chance to invite friends and family over for a backyard barbecue. While some never put their grills away for the winter, braving the cold so they can keep grilling yearround, many may need a refresher to ensure their Memorial Day BBQ starts summer off on the right foot. • Stock up on supplies. Before hosting your first backyard barbecue, take inventory of your supplies, making sure you have a spatula, tongs, oven mitts, a sturdy grill brush, and other accessories you may need during grilling season. Check each item to make sure it’s not worse for wear and do the same with the grill as well. Replace supplies that have too much wear and tear in advance of Memorial Day weekend so you have one less item on your todo list come the day of the barbecue. • Designate some time to do some cleaning. Even if you cleaned the grill and patio furniture before putting the items in storage for the winter, they likely will need to be cleaned again before you host your first soiree of the season. Remove any dust and check for spider webs or signs of other critters that might have made your furniture home over the cold winter. Droppings from rodents can be dangerous, and spiders can bite unsuspecting grillmasters. Clean patio furniture before putting it out as well. • Find some new recipes. Hot dogs and hamburgers are perfectly acceptable backyard barbecue fare, but hosts who want to treat their guests to something new this summer can find a host of recipes online. Consider recipes for grilled vegetables so vegetarian guests can enjoy freshly grilled foods alongside your other guests. Just be sure to separate veggies from meat on the grill so vegetarian guests are not hesitant to eat. And while grilled meat tends to be popular at backyard barbecues, don’t overlook recipes for grilled fish that can be both nutritious and delicious.
• Get guests home safe. Memorial Day gatherings tend to be festive, but keep an eye on guests to ensure that no one consumes an excessive amount of alcohol. Keep a list of local cab companies on hand or download a car service app to your smartphone so safe means of transportation are always within reach.
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2017
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