Sophie Woman's Magazine - Nov 2015 Issue by Sophie Woman's Magazine

VOLUME 11 - ISSUE 9 / NOV 2015

Woman’s Magazine INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ What obligations in your life can you do without? | Page 14 Sophisticated Women ~ Let’s get it done ladies! | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Do you give patience a chance? | Page 28

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

FREE

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Heart from the

Are they just words that flow from the mouth out of habit or are they words that flow from the Heart? I am talking about the word’s THANKFULNESS and GRATITUDE.

THANKSGIVING, or at least what we think of as Thanksgiving is a day of the year. One where families come together to fill themselves with turkey and stuffing (I guess that is why they call it stuffing). A lot of families will take a moment to say a quick blessing over the food, others might go so far as taking time to reflect on the things they have had during the year to be thankful for. However, most won’t. I have been guilty of all three at different times in my life. As far as I can remember, we did not make a big deal out of any of it when I was growing up. Oh yes, we had turkey and all the trimmings but it was just another day with special food and a short break from school. One that would always throw my parents in a turmoil as to what they were going to do with us kids while they worked. Usually it just meant that it would fall on me as the oldest. When I got married, it became something else but still it was not about the right things. It was about carrying on the tradition of the meal without any experience of how to prepare one. However it created some opportunities for stories and some pretty funny memories. When was my turning point? I am not really sure. Maybe when I came to know Jesus , maybe when my kids were born, maybe when I really became aware of how blessed I was to live in the United States of America. When I realized I always had food, clothing, shelter, a bed to sleep in, electricity and on and on I could go. Or was it when I realized what it had cost others to have our Freedom? Honestly, I cannot just pin point a specific moment in time when those two words became so indwelled in my Spirit but they are there. They drive me. They at times overwhelm me. What do they do for you? I am going to teach you three verses in the Bible right now. Don’t quit reading because you don’t like what the Bible says. Don’t quit

From The Editor: Judy Smith

reading because you think you can’t memorize ANYTHING, much less three verses! So here they are: 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Verse 16: Rejoice always, Only two simple little words. Even, if you don’t think the Bible has anything good to say....what can be wrong with this? Rejoice always....say that three or four times. Got it? Now the easy part is memorizing that. The hard part is doing it. Surely everyone can agree with me on that! Here is the second: Verse 17: pray continually. Again, only two words but this time it adds to the first two and so many never pray unless we have our backs against the wall. Then we tend to bargain with God. God just get me out of this mess and I will never do it again. That is not what He is talking about here. Again, I think most everyone would agree it is very hard to do. So let’s say this one three or four times. Got it? Now we move onto the third verse. Verse 18: give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. If you are anything like me you will have to say this one more than three or four times to memorize it. Hey... that is the easy part. May I share something with you? If you don’t want me to...well, this is where you need to stop reading. Here goes. The more we put these three verses into action in our lives, the easier it gets....being filled with THANKFULNESS and GRATITUDE. Don’t misunderstand me and think that I am saying that everything will be just peachy from here on out. Actually, I think I can pretty safely say that it won’t. Bad things do happen, even to good people, but our outlook also matters. The old cliché is still true today, if you only look around you will find someone worse off than you. This year let’s take THANKSGIVING and GRATITUDE to a whole new level. One that actually flows from the heart instead of just words from the mouth!

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

phie Woman’s Magazine

P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager: Scott Hansley Sales: Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com Saralyn McGalliard 828-244-1617 saralyn@sophiewomansmagazine.com How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste.

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses. For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************

Message from the Heart Reaching Your Full Potential Sophisticated Women

3 6 8

How to Make Volunteering a Success

Girlfriends in God

Downtown Newton in November

A Veterans Day Story

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

The Front Porch

Me, Myself, & Inc.

Entirely Too Much Whine

Recipes for Life

Is Your Home Safe

Day In & Day Out

Baked Treats Worth the Effort

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As I was flipping pages, a hand-written note fell out of the book. It was a white napkin and was in my hand writing. I quickly realized that it was a note I had jotted down while using this book as a resource for a team training I did for our local chapter of Hospice. Almost as if it was yesterday, I recalled the emotional impact that one line had on my heart. It had impacted me to the point I wanted to write it down to remember. My heart was gripped by one simple answer to a coaching question used for team building.

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This one gal with her powerful answer still stands out in my heart. Her answer to that simple question revealed something about how she viewed her role. As Laurie Beth Jones would say, this professional is rare because she is more focused on TRANSFORMATION than TRANSACTIONS. Her answer revealed that she looks beyond getting things done (or failing to do so) to actually wanting to leave a positive ripple effect for those coming alongside of her. This concept holds the power to impact your life or business, so I decided to share a few thoughts that I still remember from that training session. Let’s first take time to define our two key terms, transaction and transformation.

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which goods, services, or money are passed from one person to another; the act or process of doing business with another person or company. They go on to define transformation as an act, process or instance of transforming or being transformed. Whether you are an entrepreneur, worker or a home-schooling mom, your life can be impacted by taking hold of the idea of elevating your thoughts and actions to bring true transformation instead of merely completing transactions or getting things done. You can spend your day whittling down your endless “to-do” list or you can reframe your approach to seek to bring transformation to your family unit or team in whatever way is needed or desired. You may want to adopt the attitude of the nurse who wasn’t content to finish her shift. She always sought to go one step further to give the gift of a smooth shift to the person who would follow after she left the building. Take a few moments to ask the following self-coaching questions and enjoy the new outcomes that tend to flow from this transformational way of thinking and living: 1.

In what area of life or business do I need (or does my team need) a new outcome?

How can I change my approach to bring true

transformation to the situation instead of just continuing to go through the motions? 3.

Who (what person or people) or what mission (task, job, project) are in need of the transformation that I can bring to the table?

How would it impact my attitude and my outlook to realize that I hold the power to bring transformation to my home and/or workplace?

Time moves swiftly. This year is almost finished and yet it feels as if it just began.

Refuse to let days continue to pass you by … STOP NOW and reframe your days with passion and purpose. Set out to bring transformation to the people and the projects around you. Determine today to FINISH 2015 WELL! Living a life of no regrets is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and to those you value. Let’s stop just trying to get things done and instead live to bring lasting change.

This article was inspired by Kim’s highly valued relationships and coaching experiences. As a Life Coach of global impact, Kim would love to share principles of influential leadership and cultural transformation with your group or organization. Contact Kim today for a FREE proposal on a powerful coaching partnership. You may contact her directly at: kimfletchercoach@aol.com / 828 327 6702 (Talk or Text).

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7

Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Danica Lancaster

Sophisticated

Women...

Get It Done!

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching Life is full of opportunities!

Globalization, the Internet, and the abundance of information floods our world with possibilities. Women have more open doors than ever before. Instead of being held back by traditional roles, outdated rules, and unfair regulations, women can excel, achieve, and be who ever they desire to be. It’s a very special time in history. Every woman can choose to be the most sophisticated form of herself possible. While a woman has more opportunity than ever before, she still stands in choice about what to do with her life and how to do it. As a woman seeking to be sophisticated, a “Sophie” woman, you’ll need to stop and think about the opportunities that surround you. Again, the opportunities are huge. You could go back to school. You could transition your career. You could start a family. You could travel the world. You could write a book. You could start a business. I could go on, but you get it. And it’s time to get on with it! As your Sophie Magazine Coach, I implore you to explore an opportunity. Stop. Reading this now in this moment, what opportunity keeps presenting itself? What keeps coming back around? What does your conscious, your spirit, your creator whisper and tell you about what is possible in your future? Write this opportunity down. Now... notice, notice, notice what comes when you write down the opportunity? • •

Did your opportunity meet with resistance that bubbled up from inside you? Did you find that the opportunity is fraught with obstacles?

If you answered, ‘Yes.’ Don’t be dismayed. This is completely normal.

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pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

In every sophisticated woman’s brain are three functions that can work together for her good, IF she uses all three functions. The first two functions operate on auto-pilot. The third function is more challenging

and requires effort. The sophisticated woman knows that she must engage the third function to live her most vibrant life! The functions unfold like this: First, your brain recognizes an opportunity. There is excitement, hope, and joy. But without even trying, the second function kicks in, the brain recognizes obstacles. There is resistance. This is the “push” that comes before the “shove.” A “Sophie” woman shoves back at the push of resistance. She insists that when there is will, there is a way. Don’t miss that. A “Sophie” woman must exercise her will. Her will is her ability to overcome obstacles. More importantly having “will power” is the understanding, acceptance, and embrace this simple pattern. An Opportunity>>>> Has Obstacles>>>>Which Need Strategies, Systems, and Smarts! A “Sophie” woman is an expert at overcoming obstacles with a shove! She knows that there are always obstacles. She’s ready to implement strategies, systems, and smarts. There’s no angst. There’s no sorrow. She doesn’t waste time, money, or energy lamenting these realities. There’s simply a mature, measured, and monitored reaction to the resistance.

you know that edifying, protecting and conserving your energy is essential. Visit www.thevibrantcoach.com to download your free energy audit. This audit will give you 41 Smarts! for energizing your life.

Let’s Get it Done!

When push comes to shove, sophisticated women get it done.

At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www. thelydiagroup.com

Obstacles to our opportunities come in three forms: 1. 2. 3.

Time Money And Energy

No one on planet earth, I mean no one, can get things done if they don’t master time, money and energy. Since the beginning of time, these three areas of life have determined the success or failure of any opportunity. The sophisticated woman understands this universal truth. She puts strategies, systems and smarts in place to turn what is possible... the opportunity... into the probable... a success! Go back to your opportunity you defined earlier. Instead of resisting the opportunity because obstacles have bubbled up, let’s create strategies that shove the obstacles out of the way. A Strategy, A System and Smarts for Going from Push to Shove Moving Obstacles Out of the Way 1. Get your calendar under control. Set aside time each week just for thinking about your future, your goals, and how you will block off additional time to create the strategies that will overcome your obstacles. This is thinking time that is focused, balanced, productive and seriously fulfilling. Make an appointment with yourself to plan your future. Make this time the same each week and protect it as a sacred space in your life for reaching your potential. 2. Get real data, solid financial information, and a budget in place to support your opportunity. You’ve been encouraged, perhaps scolded, and implored to understand your personal financial situation. It’s time to take action. In last month’s article, I offered you a personal balance sheet. The offer still stands! This month, your second step is to do a personal budget. You must have a plan for your money. If opportunity comes and you know where you are financially, resistance will be replaced with solid facts. These facts will enable you to set a strategy for saving, borrowing, or spending without fear. Email me at nicole@thevibrantcoach.com for a personal budget worksheet. 3. Protecting your energy will create a ‘state’ of readiness when opportunities come your way. If you’ve ever had to turn down an opportunity because you were too tired, too busy, or overwhelmed,

-Nicole Greer, PPCC

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pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Limelight Photography

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

· Determine how much time you can offer. Some volunteer opportunities are more demanding than others, so figure out in advance how much of your time you can realistically devote to volunteering. Can you volunteer on weeknights or just weekends? Which times of day are you available to volunteer? Answering these questions in advance will ensure you find a volunteering opportunity that won’t prove too much, or too little, to handle.

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olunteering is a great way for charitable men and women to give back to their communities. Many nonprofit organizations rely on the unsung contributions of volunteers to meet their mission statements, which may otherwise never be realized. When seeking volunteer opportunities, men and women can quickly become overwhelmed by the volume of options available to them. But not all volunteering opportunities are equal, so prospective volunteers who want to be certain their efforts make a difference can take the following steps as they search for the right situation. · Determine what you can offer. Before beginning your search for a volunteering opportunity, determine what you have to offer and what you hope to offer. Prospective volunteers with extensive business experience may serve best by offering their professional expertise to a fledgling nonprofit organization, while athletic men and women may find coaching provides the best chance to combine their skillset and experience with their desire to give back.

· Find something you want to do. As previously noted, sometimes the volunteers who get the most out of their experiences are those who offer their expertise in a given area. But it’s perfectly alright to look for a volunteering opportunity that is a stark departure from your professional life. Determine what you want to do, whether it’s tutoring youths, raising funds or anything else you may have a passion for, and then find an opportunity that allows you to do that. · Investigate the organization. You will likely take your volunteering efforts seriously, so you want to be sure the organization you ultimately work with is serious about its mission. Ask each organization you speak with about their programs and how those programs relate to the charity’s mission. Ask about the success rate of each program as well as the challenges those programs face. Prospective volunteers also can investigate an organization’s financial background via a site such as CharityNavigator.org, which rates charities in a host of categories with a goal toward promoting intelligent giving. Avoid any organizations that hesitate to share information about their finances and programs. · Keep your word. Upon committing to volunteer with an organization, many volunteers initially feel uncomfortable or hesitant to offer their input. That compels many to abandon their efforts entirely. But organizations truly rely on their volunteers to help them meet their goals, so keep your word and stay committed to the charity even if you feel some beginner’s anxiety. Arrive on time and do your best to live up to the commitment you made. Before you know it, you will feel right at home in your new role. Volunteering is a great way to give back, and prospective volunteers can employ several strategies to find opportunities that combine their skills and experience with their passion for giving back.

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Finding Strength in Life’s Fire Swamps by Gwen Smith

Today’s Truth

Fire swamps of life come and go. There’s really no avoiding them. We can, however, be spiritually prepared to face their challenges. God equips us – strengthens us – as we wait on Him. As we trust in Him. As we dwell with Him.

Friend to Friend

Have you refueled in His presence lately? Take time to meet with God one-on-one today. As the psalmist wrote, “Let us go to His dwelling place; let us worship at His footstool – arise, O LORD, and come to Your resting place, You and the ark of Your might” (Psalm 132:7-8).

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength (Isaiah 40:3031, NIV). There’s a scene in the whimsical and quirky film The Princess Bride in which some bad guys were chasing the movie’s two main characters, Princess Buttercup and Wesley. In order to escape, Buttercup and Wesley ran into the treacherous Fire Swamp. (Insert scary music and creepy feelings here.) The Fire Swamp has three challenges: fire spurts, quicksand, and the ROUS - rodents of unusual size. (Stay with me...) At one point in the Fire Swamp adventure, Princess Buttercup fell into a pit of dry quicksand, instantly vanishing. Her brave hero, Wesley, quickly grabbed a sturdy vine then plunged in to save his true love. Moments later both characters emerged from the quicksand gasping for breath, stunned by the events that just took place. Life clutter can sometimes consume us just as fast and leave us gasping for breath, stunned. When we find ourselves in the fire swamps, we ask question after question: How did this happen? How did I get here? How do I get out of this scary place? Does anyone know I’m in this pit? Who will be my hero? Falling into the quicksand of situational fire swamps becomes a greater risk when we run on empty. Without a doubt, I’m more vulnerable on the days when my schedule is so full that my God-time is minimized. You probably know what it feels like to have a day filled with activity but a heart filled with empty. I imagine you, too, feel at times as if all you do is work, work, work and give, give, give. You feel lonely among crowds of people and wonder if anyone really sees you or if anyone really cares. At times, you have too many obligations, too much stress, and not enough strength. In order to survive these pitfalls, we must wait upon God – the One who won’t grow tired or weary. He has strength readily available for us and knows where to direct our steps. “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:29-31, NIV) King David said it like this, “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God” (Psalm 40:1-3a).

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, You are my Strong Tower, my Deliverer, and my Shelter. I’m running to You now. Please renew my strength. Please lead me with Your Holy Spirit and guide my day. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Are there obligations in your life that could be eliminated? Take a few moments to consider your schedule and your circumstances. What needs to stay and what needs to go? Make a list and then make an action plan. Go to God with your list and lean in to listen to His leading! I’m a total worship chick and I’d love to share a song / music video with you that coordinates with today’s devotion. Ready to go deeper? Join me on my blog or on my Facebook page to hear the song.

More from the Girlfriends

Today’s GiG devotion is adapted from Trusting God by Sharon Jaynes, Gwen Smith, & Mary Southerland by permission of Multnomah, division of Random House, Inc. Are you ready to begin a new faith adventure? Get a copy of the book! Need some help un-cluttering on a soul level? Uncluttered is one of Gwen’s worship CDs that speaks directly to this. It’s an album that sweeps you away from excess ‘life-noise’ and focuses your heart and mind on the one thing that matters: your relationship with Jesus Christ. You can download the songs from iTunes or Amazon– or order CDs on www.GwenSmith.net. Seeking God? Click here to find out more about how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Girlfriends in God P.O. Box 1311 Huntersville, NC 28070 info@girlfriendsingod.com www.girlfriendsingod.com

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Composed at the battlefront on May 3, 1915 during the second battle of Ypres, Belgium On May 2, 1915, John McCrae’s close friend and former student Alexis Helmer was killed by a German shell. That evening, in the absence of a Chaplain, John McCrae recited from memory a few passages from the Church of England’s “Order of the Burial of the Dead”. For security reasons Helmer’s burial in Essex Farm Cemetery was performed in complete darkness. The next day, May 3, 1915, Sergeant-Major Cyril Allinson was delivering mail. McCrae was sitting at the back of an ambulance parked near the dressing station beside the YserCanal, just a few hundred yards north of Ypres, Belgium. In Flanders Fields Poem As John McCrae was writing his In Flanders Fields poem, Allinson silently watched and later recalled, “His face was very tired but calm as he wrote. He looked around from time to time, his eyes straying to Helmer’s grave.” Within moments, John McCrae had completed the “In Flanders Fields” poem and when he was done, without a word, McCrae took his mail and handed the poem to Allinson. Allinson was deeply moved: “The (Flanders Fields) poem was an exact description of the scene in front of us both. He used the word blow in that line because the poppies actually were being blown that morning by a gentle east wind. It never occurred to me at that time that it would ever be published. It seemed to me just an exact description of the scene.”

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Various Ways You Can Put Pumpkins To Use

ew items signal the fall harvest season more than the bright, orange pumpkins that dot fields and liven up displays outside of homes and businesses. Come fall, many pumpkins are turned into grinning jack-o-lanterns just in time for Halloween. But there are many other uses for pumpkins as well. Pumpkins are believed to have originated in North America. Early Native Americans relied on pumpkins as a source of food that helped them survive long winters. Pumpkins could be roasted, baked, boiled, and dried, and they were eaten and used as medicine. Pumpkin blossoms were added to stews. The shells of the pumpkins could be dried and used as eating and storage vessels. While pumpkins may now be symbolic of Halloween, the following are a handful of additional ways this versatile fruit can be put to use.

Beauty Regimen Pumpkins contain a number of essential vitamins and minerals that can help replenish the skin. Pumpkin pure^ae can be mixed with Pumpkins can be used as more than just tasty pie fillings.

honey, aloe vera gel, olive oil, and a bit of cornmeal to create an exfoliating mask for the face or body. Pumpkin also can be used to rejuvenate dry or tired skin from cold weather. Honey, pumpkin and yogurt can be mixed together and used to condition hair. Let the mixture sit for 15 to 20 minutes, and then wash it out and shampoo.

Foods and Beverages Pumpkin pureâe is the basis for many tasty, pumpkin-infused treats. Pureâe can be used in pies, cakes, muffins, breads, and many additional foods. Pumpkin pureâe also may be found in certain beverages, such as smoothies and shakes. A bit of spiced pureâe may appear as flavoring in teas and coffees. Roasted pumpkin seeds make a healthy treat. Foodies suggest using the seeds from “sugar pumpkins” or the ones best for making pies. Boil the seeds for a few minutes before draining. Spray a baking sheet with non-stick spray and put the seeds in a single layer. Bake at 400 F for 20 minutes. Allow to cool and serve. Pumpkin wines and beers are popular as well. There are many recipes for developing sweet, fermented beverages, which tend to be especially popular in the fall. The “guts” of the pumpkin can be simmered along with aromatics and other vegetables to create a vegetable stock perfect for soups and broths.

Decorations Pumpkins can also add to one’s home decor during the fall. Pumpkins can be carved for Halloween displays, hollowed-out to hold tealights or simply left on tables and used as centerpieces. Larger pumpkins may be used as natural flower pots for mums or other seasonal floral displays. As the Native Americans once did, pumpkins can be hollowed-out and used as bowls to serve favorite soups and dips. Use a hollowed, small pumpkin as a natural aromatic candle holder. Cut holes in the sides to vent the exhaust. Rub aromatic spices, such as cloves, nutmeg, allspice, cinnamon, and vanilla bean, on the inside of the pumpkin. Insert a beeswax candle in the bottom of the pumpkin and let it send inviting aromas into the air. Pumpkins are a versatile fruit that can serve many purposes beyond just jack-o-lanterns and pies. By Metro Creative Services

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

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A Veterans Day Story Author Unknown

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

He was very old now, but could still hold himself stiffly at attention before the monument. His war, the one to end all wars, now just a fading part of history. Very few could remember, first-hand, the savageness of the ordeal that had sent millions of young men to their deaths. Cannon fodder, they’d called them, sent before the guns to be mown down -blown apart by chunks of metal which had decimated their frail bodies. The cream of a generation; almost wiped out. He was haunted by the faces of the boys he’d had to order into battle, the ones who’d never come back. Yet one nameless ghost was able to bring a measure of comfort to his tormented mind. At the sound of the gun signaling the eleventh hour he was mentally transported back to the fields of Flanders. The battle had raged for over two hours, with neither side gaining any advantage. Wave after wave of soldiers had been dispatched from the muddy trenches and sent over the top. So many had died already that day that he decided he could not afford to lose any more men before reinforcements arrived. Perhaps they’d give the remnants a few more days of life. There came a slight lull in the battle due to the sheer exhaustion of the men on both sides. During this interval, a young soldier came up to him requesting that he be allowed to go over the top. He looked at the boy who couldn’t have been more than nineteen. Was this extreme bravery in the face of the enemy or was the soldier so scared he just needed to get it over with? “Why would you want to throw your life away soldier? It’s almost certain death to go out there.” “My best friend went out over an hour ago, captain, and he hasn’t come back. I know my friend must be hurt and calling for me. I must go to him, sir, I must.” There were tears in the boy’s eyes . It was as if this were the most important thing in the world to him.” “Soldier, I’m sorry, but your friend is probably dead. What purpose would it serve to let you sacrifice your life too?” “At least I’d know I’d tried, sir, he’d do the same thing in my shoes. I know he would.” He was about to order the boy back to the ranks, but the impact of his words softened his heart. He remembered the awful pain he’d felt himself when his brother had died. He’d never had the chance to say goodbye. “All right soldier, you can go.” Despite the horror all around them, he saw a radiant smile on the boy’s face, as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “God bless you, sir,” said the soldier. It was a long time before the guns fell silent for the last time and each side was allowed to gather their dead and wounded. The captain remembered the young soldier. He looked through the many piles of bodies. Young men. So many as to give an unreal quality to the scene before him. When he came to the makeshift hospital, he looked carefully through the casualties. He soon found himself before the prone body of the soldier, alive, but severely wounded. He knelt down beside the young man and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, son. I knew I was wrong to let you go.” “Oh no, sir. I’m glad you did and I’m glad you’re here now so I can thank you. You see sir, I found my friend. He was badly wounded, but I was able to comfort him at the end. As I held him dying in my arms, he looked me in the eyes and said: “I knew you’d come.” The young soldier faded between consciousness and oblivion for some time before he finally slipped away. The captain stayed by his side until the end, tears streaming quietly down his cheeks. Only in war could the happy endings be so terribly sad. As the bugle sounded “Taps”, the old captain envisioned once again the young soldier’s face. Looking up, he could almost hear the stone monument calling out to him: “I knew you’d come.”

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23

The Good The Bad The

& Ugly

by Mackey S. Carpenter

ost of my articles come to life as a result of an interesting conversation with a bride or member of the wedding party. Usually we talk about the number of dresses she has tried on or how long it has taken to find the perfect dress. But more often it’s about a problem or situation that has happened during the “wedding process”. There are as many sides to the bridal business just as there are great shops(the good), the not-so-good shops (the bad) and the attitudes (the ugly). Even though I am not involved in the retail part of the business, I usually hear all about their bridal appointment, especially if it was disastrous. I work mostly from appointments as do most of the bridal shops these days. That way the attention is on you, and only you and your needs. Most of the time the shops allow anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half for your dress search. This is the norm and sometimes it will take more than one appointment. Their job is to make sure you find the dress that suits your figure, style and budget. But you have a job too. Show up for your appointment on time, with only one or two additional people and be prepared to try on dresses. Please don’t bring a whole group of people as there will be no TV cameras there. Give the consultant an idea of what you want and let her pull some dresses for you. Later she may let you look through the stock, but don’t do it without permission. She will then take them, usually up to three at a time, to the dressing room and proceed to help you try on. If you tend to be on the modest side, let her pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

know and she will instruct you and a friend on the proper way to try on. As you keep trying, she will remove the extras and bring in new ones. It’s so easy to get confused when the room is full of gowns. I know some brides like to go through the gowns, take them to the dressing room and try on without help. I can understand that, but would you want someone to go through your closet and haphazardly try on things without concern. They would possibly end up dirty, seams torn and hems ripped. Be respectful of their merchandise because the gowns are expensive and very fragile. Saying that, never pay fullprice for a gown that isn’t in mint condition. If it’s dirty around the neckline or has beads missing and isn’t discounted, you can tell the shop doesn’t take care of it’s merchandise. As important as it is for you to be on time for your appointment, you should expect the same from the bridal shop. They should open at the time specified and be prepared to assist you immediately. The shop should be clean, organized and tastefully decorated. Any cleaning to the shop should have been done prior to your arrival. The dresses should be clean, not in need of any repairs and neatly organized. It’s not time to be a diva! At your appointment, don’t turn it into a play date and waste the shop and the consultant’s time. Be serious about it and whatever you do don’t make unnecessary remarks to the consultant. Be nice! If you aren’t happy with the progress of your appointment, then excuse yourself and leave. One of the biggest complaints from bridal shops is that some of the brides bring too many “opinions” with them and IF the bride leaves with a dress it’s usually one chosen by someone else. Be honest, be prepared and keep an open mind. The same rules apply to the bridal shop. If you start to get an uncomfortable feeling aftrer you enter it, turn around and leave. There should be a peaceful atmosphere with no shouting. If you purchase a gown, you may be asked to sign a contract. READ IT! Make sure any changes or alterations to the gown are to your satisfaction. If not, whatever you do, do not take the gown with you. Once it leaves their premises the responsibilty to you is done. There is always a way to make things work out. Always!

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Front The

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Hang on Snoopy, Snoopy hang on Hang on Snoopy, Snoopy hang on Snoopy lives in a very bad part of town And everybody there tries to put my Snoopy down I think they still sing it that way to this day!

by Judy Smith

y husband and I just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary by going to the beach...just like we have most every year since that first honeymoon. A lot of things have changed since then, not just for us but for our favorite vacation spot as well. Somewhat hesitate to go after all the flooding that they experienced, we decided we would keep our reservations and hope for the best. We were so pleased when we stepped out on the balcony overlooking the ocean, to see that there were not lots of signs of sand erosion. Families were still playing on the beach, some brave souls were in the water and there were still plenty of sun worshippers hoping to keep that tan going as long as they could. For the most part, you could not tell there had ever really been a threat to our coastline. Yet there are a lot of other changes that have taken place during these last 32 years. One of the first shows at Myrtle Beach years ago was called "Summer of 66". One summer we took our two grandsons who were around nine years old at the time to see that show. They did not go without protest at the time because, after all, this was our style of music. We knew they would love it once we got there and we were so right. It didn't hurt that they were just starting to like girls and some of the young dancers were in their opinion, "very cool girls". We had to buy them the music from the show and by the time we got home they knew every single word to every single song from that show. That is except for the song, Hang on Sloopy. For the life of me, I could not convince them that the word was Sloopy and not Snoopy! So they went around singing:

pg 26 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | November 2015

That show is not there anymore but others have taken its place but we are still singing the oldies. The Platters, the Drifters and the Coasters were performing at the Alabama Theater and it was a sold out house. Now granted, there was hardly a person under 50 years of age there, but I did see some older folks dragging along some younger kids...obviously grand kids. They probably went under protest but I am almost certain they left wanting to know the words. After all, who does not want to know the words to The Great Pretender or to Yakety Yak? The amusement park with the old roller coaster and the Ferris wheel are no longer there but now they have the Sky Wheel. I still remember how I used to complain about the prices at the amusement park. Have you taken a ride on the Sky Wheel? I really can say it is worth it though. My grandsons have grown up and started a life of their own but I don't think they will ever forget our times at the beach. Hopefully when they have children or even when they take their grandchildren, I hope they will tell them the stories of "Summer of 66", of eating salad for breakfast along with some of the other crazy things we have done over the years. During our 32 years of marriage we have created many memories. We might not be able to recall them at any given minute but give us enough time and we will tell you about them. We hope we set an example of a great marriage. We surely have made our share of mistakes and I thank God every day that He is a forgiving God. We have not always been great at allowing God to have control but I can testify that when we are listening and obeying....well, there are just not words that I have to express the peace and joy that we have. But the Bible does: Isaiah 55: 12 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. And the ocean will testify to how awesome God is.....those are my words!

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Do you give patience a chance? For most of my life, I have believed that my impatience is what has served me well to hard charge ahead and get things done. Add to this our society in which we live and our need for instant gratification, thanks to technology and modern advancements, and it is no wonder that patience has begun to run amuck. As I was experiencing a moment of impatience, one of many in the course of this day, I was inspired to write this column, which I might add the editor was patiently waiting to receive. How can we all better embrace patience for what it can be and do for us? How can we give patience a chance to help us versus be a curse against us because we have none? Gratitude: Something that I realize I have been doing for quite some time to aid in my patience is to simply give thanks. When irritated by a situation, usually due to impatience, I have made it a practice to think about what I appreciate in that moment. I also carry a gratitude journal and when waiting for an appointment, instead of being annoyed by the time passing, I write numerous one-line thank you’s. We can all do a better job of being thankful. It is a great place to start when impatience overpowers our thinking. Reflection: This actually occurred to me as I write this column. I found myself asking, what do those who I admire do that help in their patience? For some people, this can be a form of meditation that includes breathing and centering one’s self. Taking a moment to reflect on why patience might be needed or simply to accept that it is needed can be cleansing and freeing of the stress we unwittingly impose upon ourselves. I now have an even greater appreciation for reflection as a tool for countering impatience. Anticipation: Think about some of the most exciting moments of your life, especially if there was a period of time that led up to that moment. The anticipation and excitement overwhelmed your focus, so patience was less of an issue. Consider focusing on the wonderful outcome of whatever requires your patience. See it. Feel it. Taste it. Hear it. Then consider this. If everything just simply happened as we desired with each passing moment, there would be no anticipation, no excitement, and nothing to

pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

even strive toward. Wow, I am starting to like patience even more when considering this alternative. Consciousness: Patience is focused on tomorrow or moments in the future. After all, what would there to be impatient about if we were not focused on something in the future with anxiousness or uncertainty? What about right now? What about this moment? Is there something special you are missing because your impatience has you so focused on what is next? Be conscious of the glory of this moment. Be fully present and you may just find an answer lingering that helps the very situation you were impatient about. Excellence: Without exception, one thing that forced patience has taught me is that something better oftentimes results due to the time that naturally needed to pass. Whether it resulted in learning and gaining more knowledge and insight, or exposed an opportunity that would have been missed or not presented previously, I have seen the excellence that can result when patience is given its due. A few years ago, I declared to my youngest of three daughters that I didn’t even want to know what I would be like today if I had not had them to help me learn better patience. My daughter then exclaimed, “I wouldn’t want to know either!” I openly admit, I have a long way to go in being more patient, and chances are many of you reading this column feel the same way. What this reflection on patience has taught me is that there is a grace in being patient that is quite flattering and appealing. With each passing day, I shall continue to strive toward its untapped potential through gratitude, reflection, anticipation, consciousness, and excellence. I invite you to join me. No waiting required. Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29

Entirely Too Much Whine by Mary Felkins

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:18 It’s November. I’m supposed to give thanks, to remember the courageous Pilgrims of 1600’s who gathered peacefully with native Indians to feast and to thank God for His provision through agonizing adversity. It’s that time of year when I set my pumpkin-shaped serving plate on the counter, the one that reads, ‘Give Thanks’. Can’t say my heart overflowed with thanks after I damaged it, creating an unsightly chip off the top. But each year I display that thing as if somehow it’ll generate godly gratitude. The giving of thanks. It’s the American way. Right? No, it’s the Biblical way. Scripture is replete with the command to be thankful. Psalm 150 directs me no less than thirteen times to praise God. I’m only exempt from joining the hallelujah chorus of believers if I’m no longer breathing (vs 6). As of this morning, I was. So nothing new here about God’s take on having an attitude of gratitude. The verse that plunges and twists its double edge into my soul the most is that I am commanded to give thanks no matter what. It’s God’s will for me.

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:18 I’m not reading any exceptions here. Yet, so goes the whining… “Lord? Certainly you mean to give thanks only if my kids aren’t involved. Or my marriage, home, and bank account are still intact especially now that the holiday shopping season has arrived. And so long as my health is good. As for missing that department store sale, why, I’m willing to sacrifice a whine or two about that.” Without the fortress of gratitude, the minions of doubt and insatiability abruptly enter in like an unwelcome guest. Worse than the sudden appearance of Uncle Billy Bob at the Thanksgiving table who’s known to heap buttered mashed potatoes onto his plate and disregard the social grace of not speaking whilst one is chewing. Oh, what I would give to listen in on Eve’s internal monologue at the

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

tree of the knowledge of good and evil. There she stood, a perfect woman with a perfect husband together in a perfect paradise. No need to do laundry (ahem, duh), cook, clean, wipe a nose, or balance a budget. Yet God’s best wasn’t enough. ~ If she’d rejected the lie that God had withheld good from her… ~ If she’d refused to set her gaze on what she considered to be lacking… ~ If she’d silenced the internal clanging of doubt-laced whine inside her brain… …then, perhaps I’d not be wrangling with the command to give thanks in all circumstances when life topples over. Because, frankly, this verse can fray at my nerves a bit. How do I apply this directive to situations that have all but poked holes in my gut? Several years ago, the Lord revealed to me that I’d been indulging in entirely too much whine. No, no. Not that kind. Rather, it was some sort of default-response whine that flowed from my heart and out my mouth. A sorry habit of negativity and grumbling had developed over time. I’d become a whine-o. But once I became aware of the mental rut of ungrateful thinking, it was up to me to change that. A new traffic pattern was needed. One that honored God and believed He is good… no matter the circumstances. I began to ask that He heal and redirect those cognitive pathways. As I’m seated at the Thanksgiving table this year, wreathed by family members, there could be things not quite right. Shallow conversations, unreconciled relationships, tension, conflict. Or worse, no Diet Coke (eye roll). Something…something…will fall short of my idealized Norman Rockwell gathering. And when it does, I’ll be faced with a choice: to obey the command to give thanks in all circumstances or to whine. The latter does nothing short of sending a scathing message to the Lord - and others - that He’s somehow gypped me out of my fair share of goodness.

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:18 When prayers are not yet answered and life hits hard: ~ Hold fast to the truth that God is always good ~ Thank Him for His blessings (“Don’t forget a single blessing!” Psalm 103:2, Msg) ~ Dump the whine and reclaim a spiritually sober mind Because too much whine is never a good idea. Even when it’s not November.

About the Author Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Throughout the course of her private nutrition consulting business she wrote much of her own teaching materials. Mary is currently constructing her first Christian contemporary romance using principles taught by My Book Therapy (www. mybooktherapy.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written. She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver. Mary cordialy invites you to take a plunge into the deep oceans of thought or to stop and laugh out loud at her website, www. maryfelkins.com Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net

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Recipes for ife

by Emily Wickham

Food for the Body Butternut Squash Soufflé

(Recipe from Mrs. Carlin via Marjorie Rist) 2 cups hot mashed squash 3 Tbsp. butter or margarine 1-cup sugar 1/3-cup milk ½ tsp. salt 1 tsp. cinnamon 1 tsp. nutmeg 3 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla Slice squash in half and put cut sides down on a cookie sheet covered with aluminum foil. Bake at 350 degrees until tender (approximately 30 minutes). Remove seeds and scoop squash out of skins, placing it in a large bowl. Add butter and stir squash until butter melts. Add the sugar, milk, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Mix thoroughly and add eggs, beating well. Stir in the vanilla and put mixture into a greased casserole dish. Bake at 325 degrees about 45 minutes to one hour until set (knife should comes out clean).

A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You’re majestic and mighty yet personal and intimate—I’m awed by the magnitude of who You are. Please forgive me for losing sight of Your splendor from time to time, and thank You for patiently revealing Yourself to me through the years. Open my heart to receive an ever-increasing knowledge of Who You are. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Food for the Soul Some memories never fade—like the first time I ate this version of butternut squash. My family and I were guests at a neighbor’s home, and I was around eight years old. As I sat at the dining table, I enjoyed eating this smooth, pumpkin-pie tasting side dish … until I found out it was squash. That knowledge ruined my experience and prevented me from appreciating what truly is a delicious blend of flavor and texture. My mom and sisters, on the other hand, gladly adopted this recipe for holiday dinners. Yet I resisted its presence until several years ago at one of our gatherings. I partook of this family favorite, and wow, it tasted pretty good . Now, I’m a genuine fan.

pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

Isn’t it interesting how our knowledge about something affects our appreciation? As long as I thought I was eating pumpkin pie, all was well. But as soon as I realized I was swallowing squash, which I always disliked during childhood, that was it for me. My lips puckered with distaste. Knowledge about the food’s actual identity immediately removed my pleasure. Wonderfully, this never, ever happens regarding God’s identity. While sometimes we might mistake aspects of His character or dislike Him based on bad experiences, incorrect understanding of God doesn’t change who He is. “I AM WHO I AM,” the LORD told Moses in Exodus 3:14. God is perfect. He’s faithful, consistent, and 100% trustworthy. The living God forever exists as the only one who never disappoints. Certainly, we often resist the trials He ordains for us—we dislike the pain and heartache they include. But the Lord intends those very hardships to grow us, and in that light He instructs us to receive trials with joy: “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials” (James 1:2, Nasb). God is good, my friend. He’s the real deal, who never deceives or manipulates us. In an ultimate display, He fully reveals Himself in His Son, Jesus Christ, who is God. So what do we know about Christ? Let’s treasure several truths: • He constantly “went about doing good” (Acts 10:38), healing the sick and demon-possessed. • He became “grace and truth” (Jn. 1:17). • He gave Himself – “He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Phil. 2:8). • He is “the Holy One of God” (Mk. 1:24). • He is our “Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous” (1 Jn. 2:1). • He never changes – “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, yes and forever” (Heb. 13:8). This is our God: kind, powerful, gracious, true, humble, sacrificial, holy, righteous, consistent, and eternal. The list continues, for the extent of His goodness exceeds comprehension. Above all, “God is love” (1 John 4:16). As my dear grandmother used to say, “Thank God for God!” Let’s keep learning more about Him because true knowledge produces greater appreciation and love for the one true God. Happy Thanksgiving, friends. I pray you’ll experience the joy of knowing God and being known by Him in increasing measure. Love to you in Christ, and until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…

Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. ! Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.

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pg 34 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | November 2015

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35

Is Your Home

SAFE? by Susan Guest, ASID

Last month, after all the heavy rain, I noticed a neighbor’s 140 foot oak tree leaning toward our front yard. The ground around the tree was starting to crack, so we knew that the root system was weak. Luckily, the neighbor moved his car and we called a tree service. They were getting ready to cut the top branches when the tree fell. Let me tell you, a 140 foot tree makes a lot of noise when it falls! No one was hurt and only another huge tree was damaged. Neighbors and friends came out in full force and helped with the clearing of branches and trunk. I am looking suspiciously at every tree when walking the dogs! Time to hire an arborist! The tree episode brought to mind the safety issue and preventing bad things from happening when at all possible. It is time once again to decorate our homes for the holidays. Family and friends will gather in our kitchens for meals and parties for the next couple of months. We will be spending more time indoors. As we make sure that our homes are beautiful, we should also make sure that they are safe. More accidents happen in the home than any other place. An exam is recommended every year. These are a few suggestions of things that should be on the list to make sure your loved ones are safe: • Window Treatment Cords- check the cords on window treatments and make sure that a child or pet cannot be strangled. The newer products have been designed to prevent this, but please check your older treatments. • Electrical Outlets- If you have children or grandchildren, ensure that your house is kid friendly. Any open outlets should have a plug to prevent a child from inserting small items into the outlet. Outlets in wet areas should be grounded to prevent electrical shock. Do not overload the outlet by plugging too many things in at once. Be careful with extension cords, they can be a major fire source if overloaded. • Traffic Pattern- Make sure that you can easily walk through your home without bumping into a wall or furniture. This will be especially important if you have a fire or other emergency where you’d need to evacuate quickly. If you, a family member, or a guest will be in a wheel chair or on crutches, make sure that they can maneuver around your home. A 36 inch wide path is good for this. • Non-skid surfaces- Especially in wet areas, make sure that the tile or flooring is non-skid and safe. Try to have the transitions between carpet, tile, and wood as flush as possible. • Wattages- Check the maximum wattages and bulb types for your lamps. • Fire Extinguishers- Have a fire extinguisher handy on each floor, but especially in the kitchen or places that are more hazardous.

pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

• •

•

Fifty percent of home fires occur in the kitchen, so have one that is specifically for grease fires in that area. Check your extinguishers annually to make sure that they work. Make sure that your smoke alarms have working batteries. Many people inspect their extinguishers in the spring and fall with the daylight savings time change. Secure your TV- So many curious children have been hurt when playing with the buttons on a large screen TV on a stand and the TV toppled onto them. Anchor it to the wall to prevent this tragedy. Ventilation- Many products in our homes cause indoor air pollution. Formaldehyde and other chemicals are in fabrics, carpets, finishes on our furniture and floors. Consider airing the new product for a few days before installation if possible. Open windows and doors (if outdoor allergies are not a problem at the time) to let fresh air into your home. If you are painting or working with strong products, open doors, windows or use a fan for cross ventilation. Low VOC Products- if you are painting, consider using low VOC (volatile organic compound) paint. These give off less harmful fumes and odor than traditional paints. Ample Lighting- Yes, I am guilty of walking through the house in the dark when I should turn on a light for safety. A nightlight is a good idea for any home. Make sure that your stairs are well lit to avoid falls. Make sure that you have enough task lighting in your kitchen so that you don’t cut off a finger! Don’t strain your eyes from reading in an under-lit room. Have zones of lighting for different tasks. Make sure you have proper lighting to exit your home in case of an emergency. Exterior Safety- Inspect the trees around your property for dead branches, disease, or other damage. Make sure that your sidewalks are free of debris that would cause someone to fall. Check the hand rails by your steps and make sure that they are secure. Check for termite damage on wood surfaces. Make sure that you have enough exterior lighting both for your safety and to discourage theft.

Hopefully some of these suggestions will help you have a safer home. We have so much to be thankful for and want to keep our loved ones safe. Happy Thanksgiving! Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37

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read an article today from a mommy blogger who invited moms of older kids to share what they would tell their younger mom self. Their responses didn’t really surprise me too much. They went something like this: 10:52:30 AM ~ Enjoy the journey. They will be leaving home in the blink of an eye. ~ Slow down. Busyness will keep you from seeing the beautiful gifts that surrounds you. ~ Take time for yourself. A balanced mom is a better mom. Now, I don’t want to be a negative Nellie or bash the well-intentioned author whose purpose was most undoubtedly to encourage moms. But, I have to say when my kids were young, I heard or read this advice quite often. And, while I agree that all of these statements are true, they didn’t offer me the encouragement I often craved. Instead, phrases like these often pushed buttons deep within my soul labeled “strive more” and “not good enough”.

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I was already trying so hard to enjoy each season of development. In fact, I remember taking mental snapshots on both simple and extraordinary days while thinking to myself, “Remember this.” Even so, in the midst of uphill battles, there were many moments when I secretly wished we could just get to the end of all of this. The journey was anything but enjoyable. I also dreamed about a slower pace. But, busyness seemed tightly tethered to being a committed wife, a mom of three, a house manager and a part time therapist. There were long seasons where almost nothing could be removed from my overflowing plate. I did take time for myself but often that came in the form of itty, bitty chunks. It was all I had. These frequently offered words of wisdom have led me to wonder what I would choose to share. Since I can’t narrow it down to just one statement and because this is my article, I’ve decided to share two words of encouragement I think my younger mom-self desperately needed to hear. The first is this:

Today, you are most likely doing the very best you can with the resources you have been given. Trust God to fill in the gap between what you have to offer and what is really needed. In all my years working with families, I haven’t met a mom who isn’t already giving all that she can give to her family, her friends and her job on any given day. Moms don’t start the day deciding to hold back emotionally, physically or spiritually. Instead, like the little boy who shared his lunch with Jesus to feed the crowd, we tend to give our kids and our families all that we have. Even though there will always be a gap between what we have and what may be needed from us, we can trust that God will miraculously supply exactly what is required as we lean into Him. Instead of looking back at the day or the week or the year and wondering what you could have done differently, remember that there is a strong possibility that in the moment, on that day, or during that particular season of life, you did the very best you could with what you had in you. So, grace to you, devoted mom. Let God satisfy the difference. Following these words, I would then tell myself this: There isn’t a thing that you are experiencing today that didn’t first pass through the hands of the Father. He is sovereign, so try to find rest in His perfect plan. God isn’t surprised by anything you are facing today. In fact, because He loves you so very much, whatever comes your way is His very best for you. He is too good to offer you anything less. Although it is hard to comprehend on this side of heaven, He has allowed the pain and the ongoing difficulty for your benefit and for His glory. On days when the unexpected occurs and you don’t know how you’ll move forward, get in the habit of whispering upward, “I will choose to believe that this is your best for me.” So, very weary mama, don’t forget that He is good. The truth is, these words I would say to my younger self are really phrases I still need to hear today. Even though two of mine are grown and the last one looks and acts like he’s all grown up as well, I’m still a mom who wonders if I could’ve done something different. At the end of it all, I will choose to hold on to the fact that each day I did what I could and He lovingly allowed me to encounter just what I deeply needed. Grace and goodness. They are at the center of the gospel and they always go hand in hand. They are rather inseparable, if you think about it. To the mom who is trying to enjoy, attempting to slow down and who really wants to create a balanced life, I pray that you will hold on to the grace and goodness that God bestows upon you as you trust Him with every aspect of this journey called motherhood.

Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor. For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 41

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pg 42 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | November 2015

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hen Margaret was admitted into the hospital her diagnosis was dehydration. A hospital stay for dehydration? How could that be? Something so simple to address and yet Margaret was having to endure a hospital visit.

liters of water per day, or about six - eight oz. glasses. Eating more fruits and vegetables can also be a good source of water, adding more whole grain fiber to your diet allows the body to retain more water.

All of us understand that water is essential for the function of the body, but did you know that the percentage of water in the body decreases as we age? This natural part of aging has a dramatic effect on our health. Every part of our body uses water for optimal function – even our adult brain is made up of 73% water!

So, here’s your action step – add this schedule of water intake to each day.

When you feel the sensation of thirst your body is already slightly dehydrated. The challenge with seniors is this sense of thirst is diminished. They may not feel thirst, and therefore are at greater risk of dehydration. So, why is this important? Like any machine – the body works with proper maintenance. Lack of fluid intake can show up as: • thirst • dry mouth • muscle weakness • headache • sleepiness and/or fatigue • confusion • loss of appetite • constipation and/or intestinal discomfort • urine that is dark in color We need to learn to read the possible signs and take action. Even though some of these signs may not appear like typical thirst indicators, paying close attention to these triggers could prevent a more serious health issue. So how much water does the body need? The average sedentary adult in a temperate climate needs on average 1.5

pg 44 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2015

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TIP: zero-calorie flavorings can make daily water intake more enjoyable. If you are a caregiver or family member, make sure your loved ones are getting the water they need to keep their body working effectively. The signs can be confusing so pay attention! You might also want to check how much water you’re getting each day. The good news? It’s FREE and CLEAR – water keeps you healthy!

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pg 46 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | November 2015

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