VOLUME 9 - ISSUE 1 / MARCH 2013
S
phie
Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e
INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Disappointment With God (part 2) | Page 15 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ Keep The Legacy Alive! | Page 7 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ The Power Of Asking | Page 27 shutterbuggerz pg 39
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
FREE
“After suffering from joint pain for years, I decided to have hip replacement surgery at Frye Regional Medical Center. I had such a great experience with my hip surgery, I came back to Frye when my knee began to ache. Again, the care I received was outstanding and I am back to a lifestyle I enjoy. I am thrilled to be back to doing the things I love.” Fran Miller
Patient at Frye Regional Medical Center
FRYE CENTER FOR ADVANCED ORTHOPEDICS AND SPINE SURGERY For information or a physician referral, call 828-315-3391 or visit us online at www.fryemedctr.com.
APPLIANCE & CAMPING CENTERS
Located in Hickory & Mooresville
1120 Hwy 70 SE Hickory, NC 28602
Me Sole O et Paul & Cha wners rlynn B of o & Sunr Sunrise Appli wman ise Cam a ping Ce nce Center nter
(beside famous sinkhole)
(828) 855-9446
www.sunrisecampingcenter.com One of the Bowman’s favorite things to do as a family is go camping. In May of 2012 they decided to bring this family fun to Hickory. They opened Sunrise Camping Center on Hwy 70 beside the famous sinkhole. Offering Pop-ups, Travel trailers, and Fifth wheels. Also, opening a parts store and carrying Life is Good clothing and accessories perfect for those that love the great outdoors. They offer exceptional customer service with knowledgeable Sales Staff and Certified Service Technicians.
Sunrise Camping Center ....Making Vacations Fun Again !!!
2315 Catawba Valley Blvd SE Hickory, NC 28602 (828)327-9947
168 Norman Station Blvd Suite BB Mooresville, NC 28117 (704)799-1444
Sunrise Appliance Center has been in business since the 1950’s. Paul Bowman began working for the company in the early 1980’s and he purchased 50% ownership in the early 2000’s. In 2011 Paul and his wife Charlynn became sole owners of Sunrise Appliance Center. Their goal at Sunrise is to offer customers exactly what they are looking for in a home appliance. Sunrise boast a large selection from the ultra high-end brands like Sub Zero/Wolf to the everyday appliance in both their Hickory and Mooresville locations. Knowing the importance of exceptional customer service, Sunrise has the most knowledgeable Sales Specialist in the area. They also have Certified Sunrise technicians to help you after the sale if the need arises. Don’t forget to visit their bargain basement which includes new with warranty scratch and dent appliances as well as refurbished used appliances.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3
S
phie Woman’s Magazine
21 East A Street Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith
Production Manager & Graphic Design: Scott Hansley Sales: Julia Price 828.308.5437 julia@sophiewomansmagazine.com Janet Gibson 828.310.5930 janet@sophiewomansmagazine.com Michelle Teague 828.441.9652 michelle@sophiewomansmagazine.com Helen Brown 561-853-4945 helen@sophiewomansmagazine.com Sharon Rhymer 828-202-6753 sharon@sophiewomansmagazine.com
A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors
Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses. How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste. For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.
Follow Us On Facebook @ Sophie Woman’s Magazine
Message From The Heart......................................pg 5 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 7 Alternatives To Dyeing Easter Eggs...................pg 8 The Front Porch......................................................pg 11 The Fly Lady.........................................................pg 13 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 15 Health & Fitness Tips...........................................pg 16 Who Is Responsible For Your Personal Safety?....pg 19 Truth & Beauty....................................................pg 20 Sophisticated Women...........................................pg 23 The Story Of The Burned Biscuit..........................pg 24 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 27 The Dinner Diva..................................................pg 28 How To Adapt For A Temporary Injury..............pg 31 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 33 Bridesmaid 101....................................................pg 34 Making Progress In A CrazyMaker Marriage......pg 37 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 39 Mandy’s Misadventures........................................pg 46
*Now Available* SUBSCRIPTIONS
We have been asked by many of our readers to offer a subscription to Sophie Woman’s Magazine. If you would like more information about a subscription, please visit our website at:
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com You can also find more information on page 10 of this issue.
********************************************************** Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or ti’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. **********************************************************
essage M
from the
From The Editor: Judy Smith
After speaking to a group of women on a topic that is dear to my heart, one of the ladies approached me and told me I needed to do an article about that in the magazine. I did tell her that I had touched on this in several articles but it got me wondering how often we need to hear things before they make an impact on us. All of us are familiar with the rule of seven. That you need to hear something seven times before you remember it. If you have not heard of that one, maybe you have heard of the rules for forming habits. You need to do something for 21 to 30 days and then you have formed a habit. I am a person who does not have the best memory in the world and I have actually tried several different methods of memory enhancers. That sounds like a prescription, doesn’t it? I only wish it was that easy and yes, I do know there are products that you can buy that are supposed to help. I am just saying wouldn’t life be a lot easier if you just pop a pill to fix all the short comings we each have? This brings me back to my topic; just like there are no magic pills there are no do overs either. I don’t know a person in the world that has not wished they could do something over. One of my particular things has to do with raising my children. They are grown and have children of their own and yet there are times I wish I had done things differently. In my early years of marriage and having children, I was not blessed with having a mentor who could guide me with wisdom and love. Instead, I was consumed with providing for their upkeep, ne their discipline, all the things I wanted them g a ztoi be able to do. I
S
: SIDE
S
g ealin s”~ D tum e g n Cha Postpar y ith M ion | Page 7 ess r p e D
e i ph
phie Wo m
a n ’s
Mag
azin
DE:
INSI
aling ”~ De nges “Cha Postpartum 7 with My on | Page ssi Depre
Full Your zy hing The La Reac tial ~ ide To Poten n’s Gu e 12 Woma ment | Pag ve Achie
~ eam m’s Dr uenced A Mo infl I was years after How cher by a tea| Page 23 l schoo z pg
rbugger
37
W
e
S
n ’s oma
ION ~
UCAT
N ~ ED
ATIO
INSPIR
phie
Woman’s Magazine
Serving 7 Counties for One Low Price Inspiration, Education, & Motivation
Full E FRE Your azy g n i L h c e a h e T R ~ To ntial Pote n’s Guide 12 a Page m | o t n W veme Achie sophiewomansmagazine.com m~ Drea nced ’s m A Mo was influe after rs I How acher yea te a 3 y 2 b ge ol | Pa shutte
Ma
N ATIO MOTIV
Call Us Today! 828-466-0122
was determined that they would have more than I did and have opportunities that I did not have. Maybe some of you reading this can relate. While working to do those things I missed a lot of important things. I worked two jobs a lot to provide things they wanted but I did not teach them about the responsibility of money. Even though I tried to be at their activities and events, I did not teach them about the value of quiet time. Even though I took them to church, I did not teach them about family prayer. One very important thing was that even though I tried to teach discipline, I didn’t teach them by example that children need to learn how to say I am sorry. Moms, dads, can I tell you when (not if) you mess up, it is OK to tell your children you are sorry. In fact it is one do-over I wish I had and one of the most important things I can share with you. Maybe you are a young parent and you don’t have a mentor to guide you with good advice. Take this from me, you will not get a do-over but one thing you will get is a new beginning. Right now, right this minute, you start over and you can lead by example. When your children are grown, they will be a better person if they learn from you that we all make mistakes. Then take the next step and teach them to take responsibilities for them and say we are sorry. We need to tell our children we are wrong and ask them to forgive us. Your children can learn things even if you don’t teach them and I am thankful for that but wouldn’t you rather be the teacher? One more thing, in a way, you do get a do-over. I used to pray my children would have children just like them!
HIGHWAY TO
SUCCESS
Ladies, Travel The “Highway To Success” With WeWin!
March 25 - Emotional - Discover your potential and how to get what you want out of your life when you hear from a master-level life coach. April 22- Vendor Event $85 Membership fee includes meetings for a year, networking, advertising with local business women, on Facebook and WeWinUSA.com website, and a spotlight on your business.
/wewinusa
TM
Join Us - 6pm - Crosswinds Cafe @ Hickory Airport
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
SUMMER COMES EARLY THIS YEAR LUCKILY, SO DO SUMMER CAMP PROMOTIONS! Register early and SAVE! FEBRUARY
OPEN HOUSE SPECIAL
MARCH & APRIL
Register for 6 Weeks, Receive 1 Week Free Up to $150 Value
April 27 Free Field Trips $35 Value
$25 OFF Any Week of Camp
Hickory Foundation YMCA 701 1st St. NW Hickory, NC 28601 828-324-2858
Adrian L. Shuford Jr. YMCA 1104 Conover Blvd East Conover, NC 28613 828-464-6130
ymcacv.org
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Keep The Legacy Alive!
by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”
-Jim Elliot, Missionary and Martyr for Christ
Some seasons for me include deep surveying of my own heart. In these seasons, God tends to speak in fresh ways, sometimes drawing me back to experiences and memories which have impacted me along the way. The first words of the Bible are simply, “In the beginning…” The truly wise among us recognize the importance of returning to our ‘beginnings’ from time to time to stay anchored to the values, the truths and the life strategies which keep us stable in shaking times. My recent season of reflection led me to recall the story of Operation Auca. On January 8, 1956, people world-wide were shocked to learn that five missionaries to the Huaorani people of the rainforest in Ecuador had been attacked and speared to death by the very people they were attempting to love in the name of Christ. A major motion picture was released in recent years, End of the Spear. A simple verse also came to mind which seems to run parallel to this story. Romans 8:37 simply states, “Yet in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (NKJV) In his blog, Rediscovering Christianity, Liam Lin defines one type of conqueror this way: “A conqueror overcomes the enemy by confrontation, by force, by elimination, by killing and by fear. The victory remains with the conqueror as long as he holds the force and power.” Giving your life for love to the point that it costs you your very life is quite a sacrifice. While some conquer with force and violence, Jim Elliot, Nate Saint and their three companions conquered by love. But what does it mean to be “more than conquerors?” Well, after Jim, Nate and three other men died horrific deaths, Elisabeth (wife of Jim Elliot) and Rachel (sister of Nate Saint) returned to the rainforest and picked up the torch of
love that had been carried by their loved ones who had been brutally murdered. They lived among the people of Ecuador who were known by a nickname which means “savages.” Elisabeth and Rachel were “more than conquerors” as they overcame anger, grief, fear and unthinkable obstacles to finish the work that had begun in the heart of God and had been handed down to five faithful men. When was the last time you thought of yourself as “more than a conqueror?” While few of us will ever be called to step into such unthinkable circumstances, all of us are confronted daily with opportunities in which we must decide if we will conquer by control, by violence, by anger, by manipulation, by negative forms of force. In the moments that each day hands us, we have a powerful choice… do we overcome by love and forgiveness or will we hold those around us hostage to our bitterness and force? Jim Elliot and Nate Saint left us with a powerful illustration of what it looks like to conquer with love. The women in their lives forged a path of victory straight through the hell of their own grief right into the heart of history as they became “more than conquerors.” Jim once said, “Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” My decade of coaching wisdom could never offer you better advice. Take time today to remember someone who has deeply impacted you and then take action to keep their memory alive by living out their love and influence in your own world. YOU are the vessel through which their legacy can continue to live!
About Kim... Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach, Speaker and three-time Author of global impact. She and her team at Kim Fletcher Associates are bringing true transformation to the personal and professional lives of their clients. Contact her directly to learn more about her newest release, The Tension Point: Breaking Through To Where You Want To Be. 828 327 0749 / email: kimfletchercoach@aol. com / web: kimfletcherassociates.com.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
Easter is a time when Christian families gather to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Religious customs abound on Easter, but a number of secular traditions have emerged as well. Perhaps the most popular secular tradition associated with Easter is the coloring of Easter eggs. Easter egg dyeing kits emerge in early spring. Consumers have a variety of alternatives to these kits at their disposal. There are some people who desire more environmentally friendly Easter eggs, so here are some creative and greener ideas for coloring eggs this year.
Eggs
* Wooden eggs: Visit a craft store and purchase wooden eggs that can be painted and decorated however you desire. The wooden eggs will be durable and can be stored away for use each and every year. Because they are made of wood, a naturally recyclable material, they are easy on the environment. * Consider natural dyes. Use different food items to create allnatural dyes for the eggs. Tea, fruit and vegetable juices -- even packaged drink mixes -- can be used to tint Easter eggs in various colors. Because you’re controlling the materials you use, you can ensure they are safe to use. * Experiment with papier mache. This ancient paper crafting technique uses recycled paper and a paste to create a hardened mold. Turn excess scraps of paper into delightful eggs put on display for the holiday. * Purchase corn starch eggs. Corn starch is used in everything from packing materials to children’s craft products. Corn starch can be molded into solid forms or foam-type consistencies. Egg kits are sold with this green material. When Easter is over, the corn starch eggs can be put out for composting. Foam-type eggs may be dissolved with water. * Make edible eggs. Traditional Easter eggs can be wasteful if the eggs are boiled and used entirely for display. Rather, make eggs that will be enjoyed and are not at risk of spoiling too soon after being on display. Gelatin-dessert eggs is one way to use the eggs after Easter, and creative people can try crafting eggs out of meringue as well. * Dough eggs: Have the children get out their favorite modeling dough and craft multi-colored eggs as a fun, rainy-day project. Those who want the eggs to last can purchase actual clay from the craft store or whip up their own medium at home. After drying, the eggs should be ready to paint.
There are many alternatives to dyed eggs, including options that are eco-friendly.
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
* Drained eggs: Those interested in using the yolks and albumen from the eggs for cooking can poke small holes into the eggs and drain them. Then the remaining eggshells can be decorated and put on display.***
PREVENTION HAS ITS PERKS.
LIKE SPENDING MORE TIME WITH MY DAUGHTER.
Get Screened Today.
Did you know that 80% of colon cancer cases can be prevented? It’s important to get screened as colon cancer is now the #3 cause of cancer death in American men and women. Once you’re over 50, your lifetime chance of developing colon cancer is one in twenty. In individuals with a family history of colon cancer or other conditions, the risk increases at age 40. Research has shown that African-Americans should begin screening at the age of 45. Decide to get screened today. 7UXVW RXU QDWLRQDOO\ UHFRJQL]HG ERDUG FHUWLoHG VSHFLDOLVWV IRU WKH FDUH \RX GHVHUYH
March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. Call 828.624.1358 for an appointment. No referral necessary.
Caroll Koscheski, MD, FACG John Meier, MD, FACG
Frank Wright, MD, FACG
Simon Allport, MD
Gregory Diamonti, MD
Gaa Richardson, MD
Susan Nikrooz, MD
www.gastro-associates.net 415 North Center Street, Suite 300 Hickory, North Carolina 28601
1470 East Gaston Street, Suite 600 Lincolnton, North Carolina 28092
We tak ¡ ¦r ¦¤£¤ ¦ ¤y of rep ¡£ ¦£tomer serv န N ¤ ly we rep r jewelry, w £ £ £ £ for ¦r ¦£tomers. We are members of Jewelers of A ¡ £ well as IJOထ ¤ Jewelers Or ¯ ¤ ထ RJO, R ¤ Jewelers Or ¯ ¤ န
Home of Steal Her Heart®
Like us
Scan this code to book
1839 12th Av န ျ koryထ ၺႀၾၸၹ ျ 828.328.55ၾၽ ျ www.ozsjew ¡£န
Free Gift with Purchase, March 21–23 Receive a sterling silver PANDORA clasp bracelet (a $65 US retail value) with your PANDORA purchase of $100 or more.* *Good while supplies last, limit one per customer. Charms shown on bracelet are sold separately. See our store for details.
pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
Front Porch The
by Judy Smith
F
or the last year, I have substituted the article titled Journaling the Journey for The Front Porch. That article chronicled the journey of cancer that I was traveling. While I will be on that journey in one way or the other for the rest of my life, I do feel it is time to put that one on the shelf for a time. I am sure I will come back to that one ever so often but for now I will put my focus once again on this one. My front porch can be anywhere and who knows, one day it might be on yours with us sharing a story. For this month, my front porch is a balcony overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. The weather is cool, the beach is not crowded but the sky is so blue without a cloud in sight. As I look out it is breathtaking to see the expanse of water. Today, I get a special blessing of God’s great creation as a school of porpoises show off close to the shore. As I reflect on this, I don’t know if they are porpoises, dolphins or possibly sharks. As I am almost hypnotized watching them, pondering how marvelous it is to see this display, I am again reminded how mystical the world is that we live in. Once they are out of sight, again I am thinking which mammal they are so I decide to investigate. No, I did not jump in after them to get a close up look. What if they had been sharks? That could have been hazardous to my health although that is one of the easiest ways to know the difference for sure. I don’t mean from the inside of their bellies either. I am talking about their teeth because when I researched them on the Internet, I found that was one of the big differences. I can assure you I don’t want a close encounter to observe their teeth up close and personal. Another difference is their fins, although, even with the help of pictures I don’t think I could say which was which with much confidence. One fact that I did learn is that porpoises are very shy compared to dolphins. They do not approach where people or boats are very often, whereas, the dolphins have a lesser fear of man. That is why we see them in the marine animal shows and why they get themselves in trouble more often. One of the sites went on to say that you should consider yourself lucky if you see a porpoise.
Now I can tell everyone I saw a show put on just for me from a school of porpoises. Why not? Can you tell me for sure that they were dolphins? I don’t think so! Plus, my story sounds better. Here is the most amazing thing though. Even though the beach was not crowded with children playing, or sun lovers, there were people out strolling and yet it did not appear that any of them even noticed this amazing display. They all seemed to be looking down as they were walking along. Look what they missed by not looking up! How often we miss the spectacular because we are focused on the ordinary. I wonder how often we focus on the wrong things. More often than we realize or even want to know I am sure. Do we miss magic moments because we are complacent with the ordinary? Do we miss the special moments with a spouse or a child because we are too focused on the perfection of our house? Do we miss how special someone is because we are only interested in the physical? Remember the saying “beauty is only skin deep”? Our focus should be on the significance of an individual. Our focal point should be on how to be a beautiful person on the inside so it will show on the outside.
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.... ~Sam Levenson Look up! Our world is filled with wonder and spectacular beauty all around us.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
™
A NEW STAR OF THE KITCHEN THE PRO-GRAND® STEAM RANGE
THE ONLY RANGE FEATURING A STEAM AND CONVECTION OVEN AND WARMING DRAWER BUILT-IN
WWW.THERMADOR.COM
© 2012 BSH HOME APPLIANCES CORPORATION. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 12-THD-0135 8/12
Hickory Dealer Name Here Contact: 123 Main Street Your Name Goes Here Catawba Valley Blvd SE Hickory, NC 28602 Anytown, USA 12345 Phone 000.000.0000 (828) 327-9947 / M-FEmail 8a-7pyou@XXXXXXXX.com / Sat 9a-6p / Sun Closed Phone 000.000.0000 Mooresville Fax 000.000.0000 www.XXXXXXX.com 168 Norman Station Blvd. Mooresville, NC 28117 (704) 799-1444 / M-S 10a-6p / Sun Closed
GIVE YOUR BODY A MAKEOVER WITHOUT DIET, EXERCISE OR SURGERY. Now you can transform yourself without diet, exercise or surgery. Sculpt yourself with CoolScuplting®. CoolSculpting® is the only non-surgical body contouring treatment that freezes and eliminates stubborn fat from your body. There are no needles, no special diets and no downtime. It’s FDA-cleared, safe and proven effective.
Results and patient experience may vary. Ask us for more information. In the US, CoolSculpting® for non-invasive fat reduction is cleared for the flank and abdomen. CoolSculpting is a registered trademark and the CoolSculpting logo and the Snowflake design are trademarks of ZELTIQ Aesthetics, Inc. ® 2012. All rights reserved. IC1156-A
pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
FlyLady THE
by Marla Cilley
The Anatomy of Paper Clutter If we didn’t have paper clutter, our homes would be clean! Oh yes I know you will all agree with me on this one! Paper has multiplied like rabbits and is hopping from one flat surface to the next. How can we stop this invasion from taking over our homes? Have you ever gotten the call that your mother was coming to visit and you catch yourself raking all the piles of paper into bags and stuffing them into the bottom of your closets? Out of sight out of mind; we don’t remember they are hiding in the closet till we have searched all over the house for the phone bill to pay because you just picked up your phone to make a call and it has been disconnected. We all hate that feeling. I have known people who have moved across country and put those garbage bags of paper in the moving van because they didn’t have time to sort through four huge bags of paper clutter. Those bags alone are enough to overwhelm us at the thought of opening up the guilt and fear that is associated with that paper clutter! Let’s look at what happens when we get that call from our mother. Our brains shut down and we can’t think! All we know is that we have to stash and dash! We don’t think about what is going to happen when we hide things from ourselves. We just know that it has to be done and we will deal with the consequences later. What problems could stuffing all those piles into a bag cause us anyway? We know that answer too; lost utility bills, checks and other important things we might need. Many years ago I listened to a story by Rita Davenport. She had been on vacation for a couple of weeks. While she was gone all the mail was just piled on her desk. When she got back to work; she could not function for the piles on her desk. She took a garbage bag and raked all the mail into it and placed it on the credenza across the room. All day she was busy returning phone calls and forgot about the bag of mail. That night the cleaning service came in and disposed of the bag. The next morning she went into a panic. What was she going to do! What had she missed? Over the next few weeks and months she realized that there were only three items of importance in that bag of mail; One check that needed to be replaced, an invitation that needed
an RSVP, and they called her to ask why she had not responded and a letter that needed a reply. So I dare you to throw those bags away or just happily shred them! I also know that you will not take my dare! The fear still has you held hostage! I am going to set you free once and for all time! I want you to think about how long those bags have been hiding while you gather up what you need to only handle these bags one last time! Do you want to know how to keep this from ever happening again? Develop the simple habit of dealing with the mail when it comes in the door. Open up your bills and throw away the advertising; only keep the bill and the envelope. Put the magazines where you will read them; by your chair or in the bathroom. If you put one in a magazine rack; get rid of one that is already there. Put it in your recycle bin. This paper clutter has to earn the right to come into your home. DON’T PILE IT ON A TABLE TO DEAL WITH LATER! That is why you have that big bag now! DO IT NOW! This will save you a lot of heartache later. One friend put an industrial shredder in her garage. She would cull through her mail as she got out of the car. She shredded the credit card applications and other ID sensitive mail and recycled the rest. It was all in the garage and not piled on a table cluttering up her home! Stop yourself the next time you feel the need to put something down on a flat surface in your home. You are creating a hotspot! Nip it in the bud before it gets started by using the DO IT NOW principle! It will only take a few seconds to take care of it now! We all know that later never comes!
For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Please bless others with your clutter by donating it to a Habitat for Humanity Restore near you. Copyright 2013 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
Easter Eggs Delivered By The Easter Bunny, Bundles of Joy Delivered By Us!
Chic ~ Unique ~ Affordable
We Now Offer:
3D/4D Ultrasound Packages Call for more details.
Photo Provided By KRJ Photography
828.322.3017
Happy Easter From
The Hickory Tree
Fine Furniture Consignment 831 Old Lenoir Road Hickory, NC 28601
(828) 324-1655
210 13th Ave Pl NW | Hickory, NC 28601 | 828 322-3017
Spring
WWW.HICKORYTREECONSIGNMENT.COM
Kick Off Spring With Prices That Will Not Be Beat! Join Us
March 22, 23, 24 2013
LIVE BAND 12:30PM UNTIL 4PM “FULL CIRCLE” KICKS 103.3 FRIDAY MORNING LIVE SHOW BANKS ON SITE FOR INSTANT APPROVAL FACTORY REPS ON SITE CATERING FOOD ON SATURDAY FOR LUNCH BALLOON LADY FOR KIDS FREE CAMPING • PRIZE DRAWINGS New Pop Ups starting at..........................................$5787 New Travel Trailers starting at.................................$7687 New 5th Wheels starting at....................................$24987 Financing as low as 3.99% O.A.C.........No DOC Fees
New Brands : Heartland Wilderness, Trail Runner, Torque and Elkridge Dutchmen Denali, Aspen Trail, Aerolite, Coachmen Clipper (TT) and (Popups), Winnebago Sunnybrook Ravens (TT) and (5th Wheels) Full Service Center and Parts store
1120 HWY 70 SE / HICKORY, NC 28602 / PHONE (828) 855-9446
WWW.SUNRISECAMPINGCENTER.COM
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
Making Vacations Fun Again!
Disappointment With God (Part 2) Today’s Truth
by Sharon Jaynes
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18).
Friend to Friend
As you live and move and have your being in Christ, at some point, difficult days will come. We live in a fallen world, and suffering is simply a part of it. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble,” (John 16:33). It’s a sure thing. When we experience shattered dreams, broken relationships, tragic losses, or unfulfilled longings, it can be difficult to feel God’s presence, to see His hand, and to hear His voice. Glory moments cease when we close our eyes in pain and tune God out in anger. That doesn’t mean that God is not there. It only means that the sadness in our own heart has drawn the shades and locked the doors. We question whether or not we even want to live in union with God if this is where the path leads. We tend to wriggle out of His arms like an angry child or slip out of His embrace like a disgruntled lover, all the while hoping He will pull us back in and tell us that we have simply misunderstood. Men and women throughout the Bible voiced their disappointment when God didn’t act as they had hoped. David cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?” (Psalm 22:1). Habakkuk cried out: “How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?” (Habakkuk 1:2). Even Jesus, when he hung on that cruel Roman cross, did not call out the comforting words of the Twenty-third Psalm, but the agonizing words of the Twenty-second. Philip Yancey, in his book, Disappointment with God says, “The words of the prophets sound like the words of a lovers’ quarrel drifting through thin apartment walls.” I’ve read the words. I’ve heard the words. I’ve said the words. And while we complain of God’s silence or seeming indifference during difficult times, He is always there working behind the scenes in ways we may never understand. In the Bible, we catch glimpses of God’s veiled activity among men. Daniel prayed for three weeks while God appeared to be silent. Finally an angel showed up and explained his delay—a demon, the prince of the Persian kingdom, fought with him and held him back for twenty-one days (Daniel 10). In another incident, the prophet Elisha and his servant were surrounded by Aramean enemies. Elisha’s servant was terrified and thought they were surely doomed. Elisha very calmly reassured him: “Don’t be afraid. Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Then he asked God to lift the curtain of the spiritual realm and reveal the truth of the situation. “Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha” (2 Kings 6:15-18). Talk about sudden glory! Three months after the loss of my second child, I broke my silence with God and prayed a prayer similar to Elisha’s. “Oh God, please open my eyes to see Your glory in this situation. If I could just see her. Please Lord, give me a glimpse. And then God pulled back the curtain in my mind and I envisioned
this child, healthy and whole and playing at the feet of Jesus. She was surrounded by God’s glory face-to-face. Radiant resplendent glory. Not an ounce of ache to be seen. Glory moments do not require a physical vision, but a spiritual revelation—an understanding of a greater reality than this physical world in which we live. The unseen world is very real, and while we may not see God’s activity with our physical eyes, we can be assured of His provision and protection in ways we may never understand. When He said, “I will never leave you or forsake you,” He meant it. “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen (our circumstances), but on what is unseen (God’s presence). For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18, parentheses mine). One day, it will all make sense. Until then…we trust. And when we have the faith to keep our eyes open during the dark times, God will scatter moments of sudden glory like stars in the inky sky. We hold fast and continue practicing Acts 17:28—even when we aren’t sure where that may lead.
Let’s Pray
Lord, sometimes I just don’t get it, but that’s OK. I don’t have to “get it.” I don’t have to understand. But I trust You. I know Your ways are higher than my ways. So I unfurl my fingers and release the tight grip I have on my circumstances. I give them to You. I am looking for moments of sudden glory…Your presence…in the confusing circumstances of my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Ready for a little finger exercises today? Here’s what I want you to do: 1. Ball up your fist and think of a worry or concern you’re holding onto. 2. Give it a name. 3. Unfurl your fingers, open up your hand, and lift it to God saying, “I give this to You.” 4. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. I think that’s an exercise we ought to do often. Did you do it? Let me know how many times you repeated this finger exercise today?
More from the Girlfriends
Sometimes it is hard to let go, isn’t it? Truly, it is a matter of trust. Gwen, Mary and I have written a wonderful book titled Trusting God. It’s is a 12-week devotion book dedicated to that one single topic. If you enjoy our devotions, you will LOVE our book, Trusting God. And we even have free videos on-line to go with each of the 12 weeks. So gather some girlfriends and learn about how to trust God together.
Girlfriends in God P.O. Box 725 Matthews, NC 28106 info@girlfriendsingod.com www.girlfriendsingod.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
Shred It! Exercises Exercise Number One- Split Squat on a Step with Bicep Curl This exercise will help strengthen the muscles in front of your arms, the biceps. It will strengthen your legs as well since it is a compound move involving two muscle groups the arms and legs.
by Sharon Rashidi B.S. Health Education
Owner of The Perfect Workout
Shred It! This Spring! I just finished teaching my first Shred It! training class and it was intense! Are you looking to shake up your exercise routine this spring? Are you looking for a short workout that will improve your cardiovascular endurance, increase your strength, burn fat, and get your abs in the best shape possible all at the same time? Then Shred It! might be the answer for you. Shred It! Consists of a 5 minute warm-up period to get your blood flowing, heart rate elevated and your body prepared for the work it is about to do. After the warm-up, 4-5 minutes of aerobic exercise is done. Typically aerobic or cardio exercise involves raising the heart rate significantly. The heart rate rises and the lungs pump harder and faster to meet the demands for oxygen. In class, we worked on boxing drills, jumping jacks, high knees, in place jogging, and jump squats. The benefits of aerobic exercise include heart health, caloric burn, increase in mental acuity and increase in overall energy levels. Immediately after the aerobic interval, resistance training is incorporated in the 4-5 minute strength portion of Shred It!. The type of resistance used can include dumbbells, barbells, bands, medicine balls or your own body. In class, we used dumbbells for squats and lunges, and bands for bicep curls and tricep extensions. Resistance training has many benefits besides increasing muscle tone, strength, and overall metabolism. Resistance training plays an important roll in reducing the signs and symptoms of numerous diseases and chronic conditions, among them: arthritis, diabetes, osteoporosis, obesity, back pain and depression. The last portion of Shred It! Includes 4-5 minutes of abdominal exercises. There are several benefits associated with stomach exercises beyond getting a flat belly or a six-pack of abs. For example, doing regular stomach exercises helps your body attain better posture because your core muscles will be stronger. Also, you’ll probably notice that your lower back will be more flexible, and your digestion will improve as well through regular stomach exercise. In class, we repeated the 4-5min cardio/4-5min strength/4/5 min abdominal sequence three times for a total workout time of 45 minutes. Everyone left the class sweating with muscles burning, but more motivated and energized. Shock your body with this exercise routine this spring and Shred It!.
pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
Step One- Stand tall in front of a step or bench holding 5 pound dumbbells, with your arms at your sides. Step your right leg forward and onto the step or bench. Step Two- Squat down as you lift your arms up toward your body. Squeeze your biceps at the top of the contraction. Repeat 10-12 times for one set. Repeat this exercise on the opposite leg. Tips- Keep your chest lifted and shoulders back. Make sure that you can see your front foot when you squat down. Keep your front knee in alignment with your ankle. Start with 2 sets and work your way up to three sets. Increase the weight as you progress.
Exercise Number Two- High to Low Standing Wood Chop This exercise will help strengthen the upper back as well as working the sides of your abdominals, the oblique muscles. It will also help open your chest muscles.
Step One- Stand with legs more than shoulder width apart for stability, toes forward and knees bent. Squat down a little bit with chest lifted. Hold one dumbbell with both hands up towards your left side of the body. Step Two- Lift the chest up and rotate the dumbbell across the body and towards the knee. Repeat 12-15 times for one set. Tips- Keep the neck level and do not let your chin drop down. Start with two sets and work your way up to three. Increase the weight as you progress.
Feature Biz
(EZMI %ZIRYI ˆ 7XEXIWZMPPI 2'
XL 7X 'MVGPI 7) ˆ ,MGOSV] 2'
Feature Your Business! Call Us For Details (828) 466-0122
“Like� Us On Facebook!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
Does Your Belly Ache With Your Diarrhea? If so, you may be eligible to participate in a clinical research study of an investigational medication for Irritable Bowel Syndrome with Diarrhea-Predominantly. Eligible participants must be 18 to 80 years old and if at least 50 years old have had a colonoscopy within the past 10 years. Qualified participants will receive all study related care and study medication at no charge. Study participation will require 13 visits to the research site over 58 weeks. At each completed study visit, financial compensation will be provided to qualified study participants for time and travel.
41 Celebrating Our
st
Check r Out Ou Great Prices!
Midway Carpet 1972 ~ 2013
Distributors, Inc.
Materials & Labor Guaranteed
828-465-1033
1525 NW Blvd. • Hwy 321 By-Pass Newton www.midwaycarpetdist.com
March Madness is for Basketball... NOT Between your Eyes
Before
After
March Botox Special - $9 per unit! expires 4/17/13
Hickory: 828.485.2833 Huntersville: 704.987.8446 pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
www.physiciansplan.com
Who is responsible for your personal safety? by Officer Lauren Childers, Mooresville Police Dept. It’s a question that instructors ask the female participants in the Rape Aggression Defense Class at the beginning of the course. The answer that I hope all women respond with is, “I am.” As police officers, we cannot be everywhere at every moment. An important idea for women to embrace is the ownership in their own personal safety. This can be anything from being observant of your surroundings, to making the choice to take a concealed weapons class and purchase a firearm. Every woman is different. What might be a comfortable choice for one woman, might make another woman uncomfortable. But there are several key points that we can all practice while we are going about our busy schedules that can keep us safer. •
Avoid Danger- Display confidence, be alert and observant. If someone makes you uncomfortable in a parking lot, ask a store manager or police officer to escort you to your vehicle. Calling your local non-emergency police phone number is a great way to report someone you think is acting suspicious, but is not actively committing a crime. Let police ride through the area and check the person out.
•
Safety in Numbers- Walk and shop with friends. Notify family or friends of your plans and your estimated return time home.
•
Exercising- If you work out while listening to music, put in only one ear bud. This allows you to have one ear free to hear someone walking behind you, or tires squealing on the roadway where a crash might be occurring. Carry your identification with you in case you become ill or are injured. Walk with confidence, looking people in the eyes. Wear light colored or reflective clothing so that drivers can see you. Carry a flashlight in low light.
•
Vehicles- Have regular maintenance performed to ensure your vehicle is reliable. Leave only your vehicle keys with a mechanic…why give your house keys to anyone who does not have a legitimate need for them? In the event of a breakdown, you do not have to accept the help of a stranger. Roll down your window an inch and ask a helpful bystander to call the police for you. Keep your valuables out of sight. Don’t hide your purse under the seat! Think of how much we carry in our purses. Take valuables with you, or simply leave unnecessary items at home. If you know your Social Security Number, do you really need to carry that card in your wallet? You could lock it in a safe at home instead. Remove the GPS mount from your window so you do not advertise that you own a GPS. Criminals may be tempted to break into your vehicle to see if you hid it inside.
•
If you are Followed- Do not drive home! Drive towards a Police or Fire Station, or a busy, well-lit area. Call 911 to report as much about the vehicle as you can observe or remember. If you know what road you are on, chances are a telecommunicator can direct you to the Police Department, or direct a police officer to your location to stop the suspect vehicle. Always keep a cell phone that is well charged in case of emergencies.
•
If you are Attacked- Be aware, ready, and willing to inflict harm in an effort to escape. Taking a self-defense class is one way to learn state laws regarding self-defense as well as skills to protect yourself. The Rape Aggression Defense Program is offered by many local police departments free of charge. The Mooresville Police Department will offer this course three times throughout 2013, taught by its officers. You do not have to be a resident of Mooresville, but feel free to check your local departments to see if they offer it closer to your home.
•
Reporting an Attack- Remember as much as you can about the attacker. Scars, tattoos, physical deformities, distinctive characteristics, and clothing, can help law enforcement to identify and charge the suspect with the crime that occurred. Reporting an attack is an emotionally charged event, but police officers and detectives work hard to ensure that a woman is treated with respect and dignity. Women should never feel pressured, but reporting a crime is vital for police officers to be able to do our jobs better…and that’s protecting YOU!
For further questions or to find out more about the Rape Aggression Defense program, Officer Childers can be contacted by calling the Mooresville Police Department’s non-emergency number: 704-664-3311
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19
TRUTH
& BEAUTY by Teresa Pope, Esthetician
Question: My eyes are constantly “bloodshot”, and it makes me look so tried and old. What can I do to help the whites of my eyes be white again? Answer: First you must find out the reason that your eyes are “constantly bloodshot”. This is not a normal state and my first suggestion would be to see an ophthalmologist. However, there are several conditions that can cause redness and they are; fatigue, not getting enough sleep, alcohol, too much partying, salty foods, allergies, strain, irritation from dust, dirt or make-up. These are just a few of the things that can set your eyes a blaze. If you can identify your culprit then you must eliminate that from your life, if you’re ever going to see the whites of your eyes again. In the meantime you can use some of these eye soothers to help. Try to sleep with your head propped up, this will keep the blood from pooling in your eyes causing the tiny veins in your eyes to swell. This will also help if you have dark circles under your eyes. You can also use an over the counter eye redness remover that contains Naphazoline, that will shrink the tiny veins in your eyes, thus making them appear less red. When you wake in the mornings, place something cool on your eyes such as a cool washcloth, or soak green tea bags in very cold water and then place tea bags on your eyes for approximately 5-10 minutes. Or you can simply put two spoons in the refrigerator the night before and place those on your eyes the next morning. This is my favorite solution, because it is so quick and easy with no preparation, and the roundness of the spoons fit the curvature of the eyes, so that they lay well on the eyes without having to hold them. Cucumber or potato slices also work well. Any of these treatments will help immediately with the redness, but the results will only be temporary, if the cause is not addressed. A little make-up trick you can try, is to use white eyeliner pencil on the inside of the lash line this will also brighten your eyes.
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
(AAL 1DAI 0=BA -N=?PE?A PDAOA IA@E?=PEKJ O=BAPU PELO 0PKNA IA@E?EJAO EJ PDAEN KNECEJ=H ?KJP=EJANO )K?G IA@E?EJAO SDANA ?DEH@NAJ ?=J P OAA KN NA=?D PDAI 2OA ?DEH@ NAOEOP=JP L=?G=CEJC /ALH=?A ?=LO PECDPHU !KJ P OPKNA BKK@ KN IA@E?EJA JA=N DKQOADKH@ LNK@Q?PO (AAL LQNOAO =J@ >NEAB?=OAO KQP KB ?DEH@NAJ O NA=?D HS=UO NA=@ PDA H=>AHO >ABKNA P=GEJC Bring Us KN CEREJC IA@E?EJA Your Expired & 2OA IA@E?EJA KJHU =O @ENA?PA@ Unused Medications! >U UKQN @K?PKN KN PDA H=>AH !KJ P NABAN PK IA@E?EJA =O ?=J@U We’ll Safely Dispose of
828-464-4491 317 1st Street East Conover
Them for You!
828-466-1500 401 West A Street Newton
You want your work to evolve into a career.
WE CAN RELATE. SALES AND SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE
YOU’RE NOT JUST IN IT FOR A PAYCHECK OR SEASONAL, TEMPORARY HELP. YOU WANT TO WORK FOR A COMPANY WHERE YOU’RE REWARDED FOR YOUR TALENTS AND CONTRIBUTIONS AND CAN GROW AND CREATE A CAREER PATH. BUT ALSO, WHERE YOU CAN UTILIZE YOUR CUSTOMER SERVICE SKILLS AND BACKGROUND TO TRULY HELP CUSTOMERS EACH AND EVERY DAY. WE COULDN’T AGREE MORE. > FULL-TIME POSITIONS AVAILABLE > COMPETITIVE WAGE > EXCELLENT BENEFITS > 401K PLAN > OPPORTUNITIES FOR CAREER ADVANCEMENT WE ARE CONVERGYS, THE WORLD LEADER IN CUSTOMER MANAGEMENT. WE’RE SPECIALISTS IN MAKING OUR CLIENTS’ INTERACTIONS SMARTER AND MORE PROFITABLE. BASICALLY, WE MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY THEY’VE TALKED TO US. IF THAT’S AN IDEA YOU CAN RELATE TO, WE THINK ITS TIME WE TALKED. CHECK OUT OUR CURRENT JOBS OR APPLY ONLINE AT: CAREERS.CONVERGYS.COM AND SELECT HICKORY, NC.
LIKE US. FOLLOW US. WATCH US.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21
Gynecology
Vickie Lovin, MD
Alicia Walsh, MD
Routine Physical Exams PMS & Menopause
Laura Faruque, MD
Denise Bilhorn, MD Teri Herman, RN-C, GONP
Infertility Treatment Incontinence Care
Bone Density Screening Gynecologic Surgery
Obstetrics
Clair Harraghy, MD
Prenatal Care Postpartum Care
Anita Montes, MD
Dara Curtis, CNM
Infertility 3D/4D Ultrasound
Primary Care
Anne Gonzalez, MD
Janese Trivette, FNP Jennifer Stauss, WHNP-BC
Paige Resor, FNP
Year-long care and prevention of everything from colds and u to other common illnesses.
915 Tate Blvd SE Suites 164, 170 & 180, Hickory, NC 28602 pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013 www.awomansview.com
Sophisticated Women... By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
Are Self Determined
Being self-determined isn’t what you think it is. • It’s not being full of your self. • It’s not having a selfish desire to fulfill your own needs. • It’s not a fanatical focus that alienates all other possibilities. • In fact, it’s the opposite of these.
Having self-determination is a vibrant virtue meaning if you possess it you are a woman of excellence. At the heart of the word determination is the root word determine. If a woman knows her core values, her beliefs, understands her personality’s strengths, and can formulate a plan to put them to work in the world, she is invaluable. Furthermore, if this woman can discern the cause or the group of people she was born to impact all the better. Determination is first and foremost a decision. You have to stop. Define your core values. Articulate what you believe. And most importantly, understand how you are wired at the core. Once this work is complete, a self determined woman has a deep knowing from within that a decision needs action. When a woman can make up her mind and take a next right step, she becomes self-determined. Unfortunately, a woman who is self-determined is often seen as overly driven. This grieves me. My theory about the judgment of a self-determined woman is that unfortunately they are in the minority instead of the majority. Simply put, when we see a self-determined woman, we perceive she is out of character. She’s too strong, too smart, or too out of the norm. The feminine stereotypes call on us to be soft, satisfied, and self-less. Please don’t read this as my attempt at degrading femininity. I love being female and all the wonderful things that infers. But, I am saying we have even more capacity to serve the world if we determine what the highest form of our ‘self’ will be. My aim is to have you reframe being self-less with being self-fulfilled which will ultimately result in self-determination. In Dr. Edward Deci’s, PhD and Dr.Richard Ryan’s PhD seminal work on motivation, they conclude that autonomy, competence, and relatedness “foster the most volitional and high quality of forms of motivation and engagement for activities, including enhanced performance, persistence, and creativity.” Being driven is simply the combination of three motivations taking hold in a woman’s life.
She will need other people in her journey. I get that. But don’t miss the fact that if she is faced with people who cannot or will not help her, she will internally choose to find those who will. Autonomy is the choice to pursue the dream along with resourcing the journey. Consider competence. Competence is defined as being in possession of ability. When a woman sees her self as capable, she has internalized the fact that her creator has given her talents that she is responsible for investing wisely. In the state of competence, there is no selfdeprecation. There is clarity of skill, knowledge, experience that must (hear me…it’s not optional) be shared with the world. You see? It’s not a selflessness that is called for but a commitment to harnessing who you are what you have been give to fill a need. This is being self-fulfilled. Think the last time you contributed to an outcome that was successful. What did you do? Who was served? Odds are you gave the proverbial 110% to others. Right? And even now you are feeling good about your work. Right? That’s the filling part. Your feeling good is not pride but a built in mechanism deep inside you that can take that feeling and move you to do even more good in the world. Consider relatedness. significant.
Relatedness is defined as being
When a woman realizes that her existence is significant, she knows how she fits into the big picture. She clearly sees how her every role matters. As an employee, entrepreneur, mother, sister, or wife, she has a systemic perspective on how her actions make an impact. These areas of relatedness create opportunities for a sophisticated woman to nurture others to a state of self-determination. Do you want to be self-determined? Do you want ‘enhanced performance, persistence, and creativity’ to be synonymous with your character? Lean in and determine how you can bring more of your self to the world.
Consider autonomy. Autonomy is defined as being in a state of freedom.
When a woman sees herself as free, she can move. Restrictions are lifted. In a mind set of freedom, things become unlimited and hope springs up. In this state, the desire to move is internal verses external. A woman who is moving in the world fueled by her own sense of purpose is less dependant on others to live out her purpose.
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
Let’s get started.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
Story of the Burned Biscuit
Author Unknown When I was a girl, Momma liked to cook breakfast food for supper every now and then. I remember an evening in particular when she had made breakfast, after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, Momma placed a plate of eggs, grits, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of Daddy. I remember waiting to see if he would notice. But, all daddy did was reach for his biscuit, smile at Momma and ask me how my day was at school. I don’t remember what I told him that evening but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing... never made a face or said a word about it! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing Momma apologize to Daddy for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said. “Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then.” Later that evening, when I went to kiss Daddy good night, I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned? He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides, a little burned biscuit every now and then never hurt anybody!” As I’ve grown older, I’ve thought about that evening many times. Life is not always fair and it is full of imperfect things and imperfect people and I’m not the best, at much of anything, I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everybody else. But what I’ve learned over the years, is that learning to accept each other’s faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences, is one of the most important keys to creating healthy, growing, and lasting relationships. And that’s my prayer for you today... that you will learn to take the good, bad and ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He’s the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit ain’t such a big deal! This can be extended to any relationship. In fact, understanding, is the real basis of all relationships, be it brother-sister, husbandwife, parent-child, partners or just plain old friendship. So, please pass me a biscuit, and yeah, the burned one will be just fine.
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
Feature Biz
Lake Hickory Country Club
Feature Your Business! Call Us For Details (828) 466-0122
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 25
“enhancing your life through your environment”
Guest Interiors, LLC
828-244-5738
Susan Guest, ASID
WWW.GUESTINTERIORS.COM
S BOOTRE! O &M
WESTERN WEAR
JUSTIN BOOT SALE!
MEN’S WORK BOOTS
JUSTIN’S WOMEN’S BOOTS
Layaway & Gift Certificates Come See Our New Style Of Corral Boots! Available STARTING AT $
8800
STARTING AT $
6900
Hours:Monday-Friday 10am-6pm Saturday 10am-4pm
State of Insurance. Sig Holcomb III, Agent 3314 16th Ave. SE, Ste. 102 #ONOVER "LVD 7 Conover, NC 28613 #ONOVER .# "US www.sigholcomb.com
New Location!
I deliver both. Take the guesswork out of your insurance. Whether it’s your car, home, life, or more, I can help you feel good about your coverage, as well as the price you’re paying. GET TO A BETTER STATE™. CALL ME TODAY.
State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Company, State Farm Indemnity Company, State Farm Fire and Casualty Company, State Farm 'ENERAL )NSURANCE #OMPANY "LOOMINGTON ), s 3TATE &ARM ,IFE )NSURANCE #OMPANY .OT LICENSED IN -! .9 OR 7) 3TATE &ARM ,IFE AND !CCIDENT !SSURANCE #OMPANY ,ICENSED IN .9 AND 7) "LOOMINGTON ), 1101258
Shed the dead skin of winter and get ready for spring. Schedule your full body exfoliation today! Warm Oil Body Polish $35 y Is TodaLucky (March Only / Regularly $40) r u o ! Y Day al i Schedule Now & Save On All c a F Your Favorite Spa Services! Euro$25 Study to become a licensed esthetician in as little as 8 months!
605 W. 25th St. Newton (Off Bus. 321)
828-994-4100
WWW.ANEWVISIONACADEMY.VPWEB.COM
BY DESIGN
Creating Unique Handmade & Refinished Products
704.654.1264
TIMELESS TREASURES IS A UNIQUE AND CREATIVE
SOLUTION FOR REFINISHING CLASSIC OR ANTIQUE FURNITURE. WE ALSO GO TO AUCTIONS, SCOUR ESTATES SALES, AND WORK WITH ANTIQUE DEALERS TO BRING THE MOST UNIQUE AND SPECIAL PIECES INTO OUR SHOP.
peggy.sevigny.1 @facebook.com
www.carolinacountrymusic.com
info@carolinacountrymusic.com
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
LOCATED ACROSS FROM HUNTERSVILLE TOWN HALL
WWW . TIMELESSTREASURESBYDESIGN . COM
The Power of Asking Communication is a powerful thing. It is especially powerful when it is used to aid instead of damage. Listening and truly hearing what another person has to say is critical to effective communication. Just as essential is your willingness to ask the right questions in order for communication to realize its full potential. In a previous column, I shared the powerful wisdom of the Toltec Indians based on their four agreement philosophy. Two of the agreements were: don’t make assumptions; and don’t take things personally. A key secret to being able to keep these agreements with yourself is through the power of asking questions. Here are five ways of asking and what each can mean to you and for others. Ask for Clarification: Not seeking clarity in our communication is why misunderstandings occur and judgments are made that are detrimental, hurtful and sometimes irreparable. This happens because we choose to assume what is being communicated based on our own personal censors versus asking questions to gain clearer understanding of what was written or stated. We then react based on our assumptions and then the situation that may have been perfectly harmless spirals out of control. This is why emails are sometimes misread as terse or unfeeling and is also why an innocent comment is taken out of context. One of the best ways you can gain clarity is through what is called active listening in which you reflect back what you heard or read in order to confirm your correct understanding. I am always so relieved when I seek clarity, especially when my initial reaction was to make an assumption. It reminds me each and every time how truly powerful effective communication can be. Ask for Insight: Curiosity has been identified as among the seven secrets to Leonardo da Vinci’s genius. As young children we are naturally curious and this should never stop being a part of our thinking process. Through curiosity, we learn, we grow and we gain insights that we would otherwise never know. Asking questions for insight makes us wiser, more confident and more interesting because we cared enough to be interested. Among my fondest memories is of my youngest daughter, now a teenager, who as a young child would always stop me mid sentence to ask me the meaning of a word she did not know. Each and every time, she would then later use the word correctly and most important of all, confidently. Every day is a precious opportunity to gain insight and to learn more about ourselves, the world around us and others. Allow your curiosity to explore and examine to empower and enrich you. Ask for Support: Feeling as though we are all alone in a particular situation or challenge causes us to put an even larger divide between us and those who could potentially be of support. In many cases, a person who feels all alone is basing their feelings on pure assumptions in their thinking. I was on the phone with a client who recently got involved in a mastermind group to help her grow her business. She shared her relief in the fact that she had learned that some of the challenges and frustrations
she had been experiencing in her business, many others had experienced as well. The simple aspect of opening up and asking if anyone else had experienced the same situation knocked down the greatest barrier that was holding her back – her belief that she was somehow unique in having this problem. The gratitude I heard in her voice was evidence of the power of asking for support. In hearing some answers from that simple question, her entire demeanor shifted from one of being stuck to being back in charge knowing she had an entire resource network to rely upon. Ask for Understanding: Our greatest gift as humans is our ability to communicate and have compassion at the same time. Seeking to understand is a way that compassion and communication can be our gift to others. Different than seeking clarity, seeking to understand is a means of acknowledging another person’s perspective, point of view, situation, circumstances, or frustrations. We are showing them that they matter and we care even when their views or ideas are different than our own. Seeking to understand shows a level of respect and acceptance. It is part of what makes life so interesting. Another aspect of asking for understanding is in seeking to be understood or accepted in who we are and in what we are capable of doing at any given time. When we are willing to share what is going on that may be affecting our ability to be effective at work or in a particular personal situation, we open up a swell of understanding that sometimes doesn’t even need to be asked for to be received. Ask for Forgiveness: The ability to simply say “I’m sorry.” or admit you have made a mistake lifts a veil of misplaced expectation of perfection that can be freeing and comforting all at the same time. Too often we expect to be forgiven without asking for forgiveness. The simple acknowledgement through asking for forgiveness can help close wounds and open hearts more than you can imagine. Don’t let pride get in the way of the peace you can bring through forgiveness. Our faults are what make us human. Our ability to express our sorrow or ask for forgiveness is what makes us more approachable, trustworthy, real and appreciated because we were willing to hold ourselves accountable. Asking questions is our way to experience life fully, honestly and with integrity. Asking questions as a means of enhancing our communication and connection with others exposes opportunities, brings about discoveries and keeps our minds lucid and focused on what is positively extraordinary in the world. Whether it is “what if” or “why not,” the power of asking could be your portal to a happier, more content, and more exhilarating life.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must reads.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
Dinner Diva The
By Leanne Ely CNC
How To Set A Dinner Table In my humble opinion, too many modern families have no idea how to set a proper dinner table. I guess that’s no surprise when we consider the sheer amount of meals that are thrown at children’s mouths before racing to one activity or another, or even worse, eaten in the car. Let’s get back to the dinner table, folks! Dinner should be an occasion. Every single day. Not just at Thanksgiving. Now, I’m not saying you need to eat from your grandmother’s china and drink from crystal goblets every night, but I think we can at least teach our children how to set the table properly. Of course, the problem with this is that a large percentage of the adult population has no clue how to set the table! This translates to many people not knowing what to do when seated at a formal dinner table. You don’t want to be caught eating someone else’s dinner roll? How embarrassing! If you follow me on Facebook (and I really think you should!), you might remember a photo I posted recently where I asked you to spot the problems. That was so much fun for me and after reading all of the comments on that photo, I thought I’d go ahead and give you a refresher on how to set the table. Start with linens. A tablecloth isn’t necessary, but I like using placemats and cloth napkins. Place the dinner plate in the center of the placemat with the folded napkin placed to the left of the plate. If serving bread, put your bread plate above the napkin. If you’re serving salad, put the salad plate on top of the dinner plate. Your forks go on the napkin and the salad fork goes to the left of the dinner fork. The dessert fork and spoon (if using) go above the dinner plate. Your dinner knife is placed to the right of the dinner plate (blade facing in) and the teaspoon goes to the right of the knife. Place your water glass to the top right of the plate. Now stand back and admire your table! I challenge you to set a proper table this evening for dinner. Learn to really make dinner an occasion that everyone looks forward to. Besides the opportunity for you to all sit down together and enjoy a meal, you’re giving your children important skills that they may not learn anywhere else. If you make setting the table a priority then eating dinner together will become one. If you do end up setting the table for dinner tonight, please come back and comment, letting me know how it went! http://www.facebook.com/savingdinner
Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com
pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
For your care and convenience...
Coming to Falls Medical Park
HAVE YOU HEARD? we love it here!
757-3301
757-8230 Falls Medical Park 4355 Hickory Blvd., SW Granite Falls
A Boarding Kennel for even the most spoiled dogs.....
Nestled on a farm along the outskirts of Hickory providing comfort and care for your pets for over 25 years!
We Feature: • Suites with TV’s • In-floor Heat & Air • Acoustical Ceilings
HOURS: Mon-Fri 9am-Noon 2pm - 6pm Sat. 9am -2pm Sun. 4pm - 6pm
• Indoor/Outdoor Runs • And Much More
757-5060 The Falls Medical Park, Laurel Park Women’s Health & Community Pharmacy are divisions of Caldwell Memorial Hospital.
(828) 396-8755 4647 Petra Mill Rd. Granite Falls NC 28630
W W W. H I D E AWAY K E N N E L S N C . C O M
Caldwell Appliance & TV Sales and Service since 1946
4545 Lower Cedar Valley Rd. Hudson, NC Hwy. 321 North Between Hickory & Granite Falls
March 20th is 1st Day of Spring & Our One Year Anniversary! Join The Celebration March 20th, 2013
Enjoy Special Discounts, Cupcakes & Free Gift with Purchase
March Anniversary Special
$10 OFF any L’Artiste Sandal by Spring Step
1228 33RD ST SW HICKORY NC 28602 For More Information About Our Products, Please Visit:
WWW.CALDWELLAPPLIANCE.NET
Monday -Saturday 10am-6pm
www.Cottage321.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
Spring is almost here! Let Pure Reflection make it beautiful! As we celebrate the end of the Winter blues, it’s time to think about restoring our bodies for the warmer months ahead. Let Pure Reflection Spa make your Springtime beautiful with our wide array of products and services by only the best professionals! Skincare ● Massage Therapy ● Nail Care Laser Hair Removal ● Permanent Cosmetics Makeup Consultations ● Cynosure Elite MPX Laser
March Special Buy a laser vein treatmnent with our CYNOSURE ELITE MPX laser and get a FREE Touchup A $125 value
Call today for your appointment.
828.345.1290 30 | Sophie Woman’s 915pgTate Blvd SEMagazine Suite| March 146 2013 | Hickory, NC | www.purereflection.com
I’ve Fallen and Can’t Get Up! HOW TO ADAPT FOR A TEMPORARY INJURY
by Susan Guest, ASID Some people think interior design is just about making a space personal or beautiful, but it includes so much more. Educated and certified designers are trained to promote the health and well-being of our clients. Whether it is finding fire- retardant fabrics, space planning that allows the client to be able to exit the house or business quickly in case of emergency, products that are environmentally friendly, or creating handicap-accessible spaces, designers are equipped with the knowledge and experience to make your life better and safer. Recently, I suffered a knee injury and then surgery that left me nonweight bearing for six weeks. This meant that crutches and a wheel chair were my new friends. This experience gave me an inside look, though temporary, at what some people experience daily. Even though I had helped an amputee convert his home to work with the loss of both legs, and another elderly client who was confined to a wheel chair; I had never put myself completely in their shoes. Trying to bake cookies the day before Thanksgiving was an enlightening experience. In a kitchen that was not even close to being ADA (American Disabilities Act) Compliant, I played bumper cars with the wheelchair and the cabinets. The counter tops were too high and things in the top cabinets were out of reach from the chair. Items that I dropped on the floor were a struggle to retrieve. Transporting items from the refrigerator to the cabinet did not work with the crutches, because I had no extra hands. Small and simple tasks that I had taken for granted were now a problem. Hopefully you will never be in the situation of being injured or disabled. However, life can bring unexpected surprises that you never imagined. Even if you go to the gym daily and are the picture of health, things still happen. When building a new home, consider making it handicap-accessible. Since there are so many baby boomers, there will be a need for these spaces in the future. If you are remodeling, choose non-slip surfaces, wider doorways, low threshold showers that will hold a seat or wheelchair. It does not cost much more to make these changes that might be important later. If you have a permanent injury or disability, you will need permanent solutions such as adding a lift or elevator, roll-in shower, grab bars, turn around spaces, levers on doors, and new counter heights for kitchen and baths. If you are suddenly injured, these are some ideas and experiences that may help. • Interior Doors -One of my neighbors had a car accident that left him wheelchair bound. In order to get the wheel chair through their home during the recovery period, they took the interior doors off the hinges. • Rearrange Furniture-Try to have a 36” path through your home to maneuver a wheel chair or crutches. • Equipment Rentals-There are local pharmacies and medical companies that rent or sell equipment for temporary injuries. Wheel chairs and other equipment are available that meet your needs. Shower seats are available that will make bathing easier. • Removable shower heads-help in washing hair and assist in bathing • Non-slip tile- if you are renovating, choose this. My vintage 1940’s mosaic tiles were slick when wet. I lined the floor with towels to get enough traction to safely exit the room on crutches. • Kangaroo Pouch- A friend helped devise a solution for transporting
small items while struggling with crutches. We found a medium sized bag with handles large enough to hang around my neck. I hopped around the house like a kangaroo with the bag filled with everything from snacks to writing supplies. • Bedside “Grand Central” chest- Since so much time was spent in bed, I needed a system to be able to do many things in that area. We moved a plastic storage chest with drawers and casters (purchased to store drafting supplies) by the bed. The top was used to hold everything from my laptop to breakfast and operated as a desk, table, and extra night stand. The drawers were used for toiletries, hair dryer, medicines, physical therapy items, thank you note cards, and much more. • Ottoman- Since my knee needed to be propped up much of the time, I used an ottoman that floated all over the house. In the office, it worked with the office chair for added comfort. In the living room, it held a pillow for elevation during a movie or TV show. I did not leave the house too much during my recovery period because of the fear of the dreaded three steps that lead to freedom. The only way out was on crutches with a person to catch me if I fell. If the recovery period had been longer, we would have had a ramp built. It might be a good idea to have one built before it is needed and store it in the basement. This entire experience gave me more insight and compassion for those who are temporarily or permanently injured or disabled. When buying our next home, I will consider purchasing a handicap-accessible space. After all, one tiny miss-step can change your life-even if for a short while. Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31
Baby boomers comprise a population of adults who were born between 1946 and 1954. That makes boomers people who are between 49 and 67 years old. Many of these baby boomers have grown to be household names and influential individuals in all areas of business. Actor Brad Pitt is a baby boomer, as is President of the United States Barack Obama. Director Peter Jackson, singer k.d. lang and business mogul Donald Trump all belong to the baby boomer generation. Here are some additional facts and figures about baby boomers:
Did You Know?
The Baby Boomer generation is one of the most influential demographics in the world today. Boomers represent roughly 28 percent of the total population of the United States, according to “Baby Boomer” magazine, and this means they are the largest generational segment as well as the single largest economic group in the United States. They hold 70 percent of the U.S. wealth and are expected to inherit millions of dollars over the course of the next 20 years.
pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
* Baby boomers have more discretionary income than any other age group. * Baby boomers own 80 percent of the money in savings and loan associations. * Baby boomers spend more money than other groups. * Baby boomers account for nearly half of all consumer demand. Baby boomers have been known to have an unprecedented impact on American culture, society and the economy, and that influence is bound to continue for several more years.
Recipes for ife
L
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body
Irresistible Peanut Butter Cookies
(Online source: http://www.jif.com/recipes/details/960) ¾ cup creamy peanut butter ½ cup shortening 1-¼ cups firmly packed light brown sugar 3 tablespoons milk 1-tablespoon vanilla 1 egg 1 ¾ cups all-purpose flour ¾ teaspoon salt ¾ teaspoon baking soda 1. Heat oven to 375 degrees. 2. Combine peanut butter, shortening, light brown sugar, milk, and vanilla in large bowl. 3. Beat at medium speed of electric mixer until well blended. 4. Add egg. Beat until just blended. 5. Combine flour, salt, and baking soda. Add to creamed mixture at low speed. 6. Drop by heaping teaspoonfuls 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheet. 7. Bake at 375 degrees for 7 to 8 minutes, or until set and just beginning to brown. 8. Cool 2 minutes on baking sheet before removing to kitchen counter top.
AAPrayer for God’s Prayer For Blessing God’s
Blessing
Loving Father in heaven, You are the one true God. Though many attack and dispute this fact, Your identity remains sure. I confess I take this for granted sometimes and neglect to pursue people who think otherwise. Thank You for the reliability and constancy of who You are. Please embolden me to share this foundational truth with others. In the name of Your beloved Son, Jesus Christ, Amen. Food forfor the Soul Food the
Soul
Certain foods remind me of particular people, and peanut butter cookies are no exception. Actually two people come to mind: my dad and my childhood pastor. Both of them savor the sweetness of these simple, sugary delights. Dad enjoys them plain, while my former pastor always liked a tiny Red Hot in the middle. As for me, I especially appreciate a peanut butter cookie centered by a Hershey’s Kiss. Isn’t it remarkable how each of us has unique preferences? Each of us approaches life filtered by our set of likes and dislikes. We see big and small through our own “glasses.” Our perspective is relatively harmless when it comes to food and trivial matters. However, concerning God’s identity, one truth exists.
There is one God—only one. Isaiah 45:5 (NASB) states, “I am the LORD, and there is no other; Besides Me there is no God …” This truth has long withstood lies even though the enemy has cleverly disguised deception through the ages. His attempts to dismantle God’s identity consistently fail. Though he wants to convince people that various beliefs lead to God, or that God’s name is interchangeable with other gods’ names, he cannot succeed. Despite deceiving many, he absolutely, unequivocally cannot change the reality of who God is. Sadly our world continues in confusion about God’s identity. Some doubt or reject His existence, others distort His Word to form Him according to their ideas, and many trust He’s someone He’s not. How can these tragic misunderstandings be corrected? Several ways come to mind: • Through accurate Bible teaching – The Apostle Paul preached on Mars Hill and ably communicated God’s identity. He referred to the people’s worship of “AN UNKNOWN GOD” and proclaimed the true God to them (see Acts 17:23). Many worshippers today have sincere motives, but they’re unaware of the truth. When God’s Word is presented in love, spiritual seeds are planted. “How then shall they call upon Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? … So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ” (Romans 10:14, 17). • Through Christ – Jesus questioned His disciples, “… ‘But who do you say that I am?’ Peter answered and said to Him, ‘Thou art the Christ’” (Mark 8:29). One’s belief about Christ is critical, and usually it creates a dividing line. For example, was Jesus God, or just a good man? Is Jesus a god, or the God? These questions certainly surface in contemporary conversations. John 1:1 declares, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Jesus IS God and He’s one with His Father (see John 10:30). • Through God’s people – Every Christian has been “predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son” (Romans 8:29). Amazingly God forms Christ in us as we go through life and undergo the process of sanctification. While we grow closer to the Lord and progressively follow His example, others will see Him in us. Our reflection of Christ powerfully conveys who God is. Further, we’re called to “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you …” (Matthew 28:19-20). God uses His Word lived and spoken through us to reach those who don’t know Him. Wow. “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were entreating through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:20). Whatever our preference, this truth prevails: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, yes and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). And it is “in him we live, and move, and have our being …” (Acts 17:28, KJV). May the assurance of God’s true identity light your path today. Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life … Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through her Bible study, Reaching for Righteousness: Life ! Applications from the Book of Esther, and various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts an annual women’s conference in Greensboro, NC. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotionals and to learn more about life in Christ. To contact Emily about speaking at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences, please e-mail emily@ proclaiminghimtowomen.com. Emily, who is grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her wonderful husband and their four terrific children in western NC.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33
Bridesmaid by Mackey Carpenter
101
First of all, consider it an honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid (or maid of honor). There are no classes required for this job. And even though it is a non-paid position, without much praise, it can be enjoyable, even fun. The main job is to provide emotional support for the bride and do your job with style and grace. Now, before we go any further, we need to cover a few don’ts. 1. If you are having financial problems and can’t justify spending the money, just say that you can’t do it right now. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. A bridesmaid has more expenses than the dress and shoes. There may be travel and motel expenses, gifts for the bride’s shower plus a gift for the bride and groom. These expenses are yours, not the bride or groom’s. Bow out quietly if you foresee a problem. 2. Don’t like the dress, keep quite about it! It’s not your wedding. Simple as that. 3. If you’ve been asked to be a maid or matron of honor, be aware that you will have a few more responsibilities. Please, NO whining. You know your own limits, so if there are doubts about your ability to do the job, turn it down. 4. Don’t show up at any wedding event with an attitude. I see this way too often. If you are not happy about anything, keep it to yourself. 5. If you live more than 50 miles away, you cannot be expected to participate in all the activities. Discuss this with the bride when you are asked to be a bridesmaid. Now for some of the do’s. 1. You must buy your bridesmaid dress, shoes and possibly jewelry. Sometimes the bride will buy the jewelry as a gift for her bridesmaids. 2. Help the maid of honor plan any parties or other activities if you are asked to do so. 3. Attend any parties you are asked to, unless you live more than 50 miles away. 4. Some brides shop for the bridesmaid dresses with them, some do not. Be aware of this. If you have
pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
any kind of fit problems, tell the bride ahead of time. Go and order your dress when asked to do so. Don’t question the bride’s choice at this point. 5. You may be asked to go in with other bridesmaids to do a group gift for the bride. Keep in mind, there may be other gifts to buy. Talk to other bridesmaids or the maid of honor about this if you are uncertain.
For All Of Your WEDDING
NEEDS Catawba Valley’s YOU~NIQUE Rental Store IT’S MY PARTY RENTALS 1230 9th Ave. NE Hickory, NC (828) 267-2789 www.itsmypartyrental.com &
itsmypartyrentals
6. Make sure you show up to the rehearsal at the time you are asked to be there. The same goes for the wedding. 7. The maid of honor needs to toast the couple at the rehearsal dinner and the reception. It’s not unusual for some of the other members of the wedding party to do this as well. 8. Please stay sober throughout the wedding weekend. It’s very disrespectful to do otherwise. Also, it could get you arrested. I know at some of the bachelor and bachelorette parties some participants do tend to drink a little too much. Drink responsibly!
828.431.4438 www.whitfieldsbydesign.com Serving Your Floral Needs From Downtown Hickory WWW.WHITFIELDSBYDESIGN.COM
9. Try to be upbeat whenever you’re around the bride. Don’t barrage her with gossip or concerns about anyone or anything. If you feel it’s necessary, speak to the maid of honor. 10. Follow the rules set by the bride about makeup, hair styles, etc. Bridesmaids are supposed to compliment the bride, not compete with her for attention. This is something I unfortunately see quite often at weddings. Do the right thing. In a final note, I’m sure most of you have been to at least a few weddings. If you’ve had a bad experience with a wedding, don’t bring that with you to the next one. Bride’s have enough stress as it is. Put yourself in her place. Sometimes it’s not the easiest place to be.
By Mackey S. Carpenter Owner MSC Designs mscdesigns.net
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35
this holiday this holiday show your love for her show your love for her today... tomorrow... today... tomorrow... forever... forever...
Introducing our newest Ivy Love Collection featuring bangle bracelets, band rings and our three ring love necklace. Each piece is inscribed with a discreet but powerful message on the inside “I love you Today, I love you Tomorrow, I love you Forever” STERLING SILVER & 18K GOLD utilizing a pink sapphire as a romantic accent.
S
THE
BISANAR COMPANY
Downtown Hickory • (828) 322-5090
WHY WAIT TO FIND GOLD AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW, WHEN KINGSTON IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER TODAY?
INDEPENDENT & ASSISTED LIVING w Private Apartments With Bathroom & Kitchenette w 3 Chef Prepared Meals Served In Our Charming Dining Room w All Utilities (Cable TV, Power & Telephone) Included w 24/7 Emergency Call System w Daily Exercise Programs w Registered Nurses On Duty 24/7 For Assistance If Needed w Transportation Services w Weekly Housekeeping w Wide Range Of Activities
STOP IN TOUR FOR A
*No “Buy-Ins”, No Long Term Contracts!*
904 Second St., NE • Hickory, NC 28601 • (828) 327-9955 ~
Genuine Care
Dedicated To You
pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
phie Woman’s Magazine
Women Make 85% Of All Buying Decisions! Call us today to find out how you can reach over 60,000 readers each month.
Inspiration, Education, & Motivation
sophiewomansmagazine.com Call Us Today! 828-466-0122
36” IVY B
Making Progress in a CrazyMaker Marriage By Dr. David
“There is nothing worse than having my words turned around on me,” a young woman told me during a recent individual counseling session. Kate had been coming for couples counseling for three months, and was quite frustrated with the lack of progress. “He’s coming for counseling,” she continued, “but I don’t believe he really thinks any of the problem is his. He acts nice during the counseling session, but he reverts back to his old self after we get home.” “What do you mean?” I asked. “You see the best side of him,” Kate said emphatically. “He really can be a nice guy. That’s why I married him. But, he complains about the cost of counseling, feels like we’re ganging up on him and thinks I’m making too big a deal out of it. He wants the problems to just go away. He accuses me of making the problems bigger, and I think he is dismissing me. It’s driving me crazy.” “I’ve actually noticed some of that in our couples work,” I said reassuringly. “Doug seems uncomfortable with your feelings, and does seem to want the problem to just go away.” “But it’s more than that,” Kate protested, gesturing to make her point. “He blames me for making the problem worse. He accuses me of being the ‘troublemaker.’ He loses his temper and then blames me for making him angry. I’m sick of this marriage and don’t know what to do. When I threaten to leave, he accuses me of not being dedicated to the marriage. He doesn’t see that his actions create this reaction in me!” I watched Kate sink further into her chair. Tired and worn, she looked ten years older than her thirty years. Her complaints were an echo of a growing number of emails and phone calls, where many women, and some men, are tiring of their marriage. “I call that being ‘CrazyMaker crazed’ and it’s no fun,” I said. “Working on your marriage takes something out of you because you feel a lack of ownership with your husband. Is that right?” “Yes!” Kate said with exasperation. “These are character issues and must be carefully rooted out of the relationship. It also suggests denial on Doug’s part. He isn’t accepting responsibility for his part in this CrazyMaking dance.” “How do we get him to see it if he’s in denial?” Kate asked. “I don’t know that I have the motivation to keep trying. He exhausts me.” “Unfortunately, Kate,” I explained, “this is slow, hard work. Denial is a way of viewing the world we create so as to not feel bad about ourselves. Doug needs this denial to be able to avoid not look closely at his character issues. It will take slow, hard work for him to gain insight into these patterns, and own them and change them.” Talking to Kate reminded me of another woman with similar complaints. Dear Dr. David. I’m tired of my marriage. I didn’t know marriage was going to turn out this way, and had I known my husband was going to be like this, I might not have gotten married. I’ve been married for thirty years, and I now realize I’ve played a part in enabling a very dysfunctional relationship. I tiptoe around my husband because I’m afraid of his moods and anger. I turned off my feelings a long time ago, and now I’m depressed. I’ve been in counseling and realize that if I turn my feelings back on, I’m probably going to feel even more angry and resentful. Besides that, I’m not sure at all that my husband wants to change. In fact, he blames me for all of our problems, and sees himself as a wonderful husband. I feel confused and lost. How do I begin to work my way out of this
depression? What if my husband has no interest at all in seeing his part of our problems? I’m drowning. Please help. Both Kate and the woman writing this email feel exasperated. At times they feel even worse—discouraged and doubtful anything will really change. Unless they see hope, they are vulnerable to slipping into depression. What hope can be offered to the “CrazyMaker Crazed?” Sadly, there are no quick fixes or easy remedies. Everything I propose requires depth counseling and serious, invasive treatment. Many are not willing to take such a serious review of their relationship, but that is what’s needed. Consider these steps of action: •
First, take responsibility for your life. There is a saying that goes, “Things don’t change, we do.” That is certainly true. This is your life and your marriage, and waiting for change to occur is futile. Change must occur if you really want your circumstances to be different, and that change must begin with you.
•
Second, learn about dysfunctional, crazymaking relationships. While it is true that every relationship has some degree of dysfunctionality to it, some are pathologically unhealthy. In my book Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life, I help you understand what makes a relationship healthy and unhealthy. Knowing the difference can be a lifesaver for you.
•
Third, understanding crazymaking, you must learn to identify it, label it, and set boundaries on it. The Scriptures tell us to be wise and discerning, and certainly this is one area of your life where you must become very insightful. Become well-acquainted with crazymaking tactics so you are no longer “crazed,” but equipped to identify and create a plan of action for them.
•
Fourth, insist on change. The worst mistake you can make is to remain “crazed” and in DENIAL—which means Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying. Insist that your mate join you in depth couples counseling to root out these debilitating patterns. Learn together to recognize the “thinking errors” that form the basis of crazymaking relationships.
•
Fifth, expect resistance. Believing your mate will dive into this invasive counseling process will leave you disillusioned. Expect resistance. Watch for excuses, arguments, displaced anger and more thinking errors. Still, insist on change. Insist specifically on staying engaged in the change process.
•
Finally, stay the course. These problems, often rooted in childhood patterns of dysfunctionality, can be changed, but won’t be eradicated easily. You must rely on your own determination and God’s supernatural humbling of character. You must prepare yourselves for invasive emotional surgery and trust that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” (Philippians 1: 6)
I’d love to hear what has helped you stay the course in a challenging change process. Email me at TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com
Dr. David B. Hawkins is the Director of The Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle, Washington. He is the author of over thirty books, including the best-seller, When Pleasing Others is Hurting You.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37
pg 38 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
Our Monthly Feature
shutterbuggerz Here are some of the best photos from our February 2013 contest, “The Town We Live In�.
Photo Submitted By: Lindsay Pelick Taken at the Bunker Hill Covered Bridge Claremont, NC
Local Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!
s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m www.shutterbuggerz.com
39
Submitted by Mary Paynter Horses in the field in Claremont, NC
Submitted by Jessica Hemphill Taken at Barrett Mountain in Taylorsville, NC
Photo Submitted By: Erin Annas
Submitted by Maltry Photography Railroad tracks in Icard, NC
Visit Our Website For The Upcoming Monthly Themes! 40
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s contest.
Submitted by Kristen Carol Photography Taken in Downtown Statesville, NC.
March 2013 Theme is "water,water everywhere" Your photo must have some use of water (ie. rain, ocean, river, waterfall, a glass of water, etc). If you send a portrait photo, it must include water. If you send a bridal photo, it must include water. If you send a baby photo, it must include water. You get the idea, right? email photos to email@shutterbuggerz.com (limit 5 per contest)
Submitted by Don Anthony Photo taken at “Old Burke County Court House� Morganton, NC
www.shutterbuggerz.com
41
Submitted by Sabrina D. Photography Taken in Downtown Mooresville, NC
Submitted by Asma Khalid Taken in spring, Hickory, NC
Submitted by As We See It Photography This photo was taken at the old mill houses in Hildebran where Hunger Games was filmed.
2010_Sophie_Ad_11-3-10.pdf
11/3/10
4:21:52 PM
C
M
Y
CM
MY
CY
CMY
K
Submitted by Miranda Buchanon Photography This image was taken in Stowe’s Mercantile Co. downtown Belmont, NC. The painted stairs mimic VanGogh’s “Sunflowers”.
Visit the website to view all the photos to enter your photo into next month’s contest. pg 40 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | Juneand 2012 42
Submitted by Brenda Andrews Taken at the Chapel of Rest in Patterson, NC.
Submitted by Jilly White William W. and his sons in Downtown Hickory on the RR tracks.
Submitted by Lindsay Pelick T.H. Broyhill Walking Park - Lenoir, NC
Submitted by Brittany Huffman Downtown Kilgore, Texas
www.shutterbuggerz.com www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 41 43
Submitted by Melissa Cockman Photography Shot in Hickory, NC - Old Hickory Tavern area
Photo Submitted By: Erin Annas
Submitted by Miranda Buchanon Photography Submitted by Rachel Bowman This picture was taken in Taylorsville, NC at the barn behind my house!
44
Taken in Stowe’s Mercantile Co., better known as the Belmont General Store, located downtown Belmont, NC.
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s contest.
Submitted by Josh Clark Tent Revival in Sawmills, NC
Submitted by Paige Anderson Mural in downtown Maiden, NC
Submitted by ShutterBean Moments Photography Linneys Mill which is located at the corner of Alexander county and Iredell county
Be Sure To Visit
shutterbuggerz.com
To Submit & View PHotos
Submitted by Don Anthony The Greenway Morganton, NC
www.shutterbuggerz.com
45
s e r u t n e v d a s i M ’s
Mandy
by Mandy Thomas
For some reason, ever since we’ve moved into our new house, the kids have become even weirder about their bed time routine. It seems like if it’s not one thing, it’s another, and the logic behind their not staying in bed has become incredibly random. Here, have some examples of the strangeness I’ve been hearing nightly. Excuses my kids use to get out of bed: ◊ To make sure I’m going to feed them breakfast in the morning. ◊ To tell me something (that something is never revealed, though). ◊ To tell me that their throat hurts and remind me of how they haven’t had a drink in nearly three minutes. ◊ To let me know that something is tapping on their window and they just thought they’d let me know we’re all probably about to die. ◊ There’s a sock ghost in the closet. ◊ Savannah fell at school earlier today and just now realized that her elbow was broken. I’ve decided that if this keeps up, I’m going to start going up to their room repeatedly and tell them that I can’t sleep because there’s monkeys in the attic. Or something really crazy like that. It could work. Maybe.
Carpe Diem Counseling Practice Counseling and Psychotherapy For Individuals, Couples, and Families
Margaret Doerle, MA, LPC
828-437-1533
Focusing On Women’s Issues
CONSULTANTS WANTED
Catherine Crigger 828.221.0544
www.catherinecrigger.myarbonne.com
Are you looking for a fun way to earn an income? Join an amazing team who will help you every step of the way!
Consultants needed for the Asheville Home Show!
Lenoir 902 WILKESBORO BLVD. TRUCK LOT: 828-758-9929 LENOIR, NC 28645 CAR CENTER:828.757.9999
CarsPlusLenoir.com
Toyota Honda BMW Volvo Nissan
4x4’s Sport Utilities Boats Motorcycles And More...
pg 46 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | March 2013
S
phie
Woman’s Magazine
Inspirational ~ Educational ~ Motivational
Interested In Advertising In Our Magazine?
Contact one of our account reps today and see how affordable it is to get started.
828.466.0122
w w w. s o p h i e w o m a n s m a g a z i n e . c o m
Only the Best Care for Our Patients
Because we are physician led, Piedmont HealthCare’s policies and decisions are made with our patients being our main concern. Our goal is always to offer excellent and efficient service, compassionate and exceptional health care to our patients first and foremost. Piedmont HealthCare has more than 140 physicians and providers across 25 specialties who collaborate, communicate and cooperate together to offer innovative and state-of-the-art care to those who entrust us with their health care needs–our patients.
More than 140 physicians and providers, 25 specialties and 50 convenient locations serving Statesville, Mooresville, Huntersville Mocksville and Troutman –
to care for YOU, our patients!
www.PiedmontHealthCare.com | 704.873.4277