VOLUME 10 - ISSUE 7 / SEPTEMBER 2014
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phie Woman’s Magazine
INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Are You Born To Be Wild? Part 2 | Page 14 Sophisticated Women ~ How Do You Impact Your Environment? | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Is Optimism The Secret To Bliss? | Page 29 shutterbuggerz pg 37
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Heart
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From The Editor: Judy Smith
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et's celebrate. Celebrate what, you ask? It really does not matter as long as we are celebrating the gift of life that God gave us. However, just in case you need some prodding for some things to celebrate, let me help you out with that.
If you ask one of my friends how they are doing today, you will always get the same answer. That is that she is still above ground, so she is great. Let me assure you, this friend is not afraid of death but she is saying that every single new day that God gives her, she is celebrating. Get the idea? We have a group that meets every single Wednesday morning for networking and support. On one of those particular Wednesdays a couple of weeks ago, I told them that it was National Cheesecake Day so I celebrated by ordering Cheesecake for breakfast. Did you miss that day....ahh, I am so sad for you! The point is, we can find something to celebrate EVERY SINGLE DAY. Most of us go around looking and acting like we have sucked on a lemon. Did you just visualize that and make a face right then? I surely did and it wasn't pretty. If we all went around looking like that all day long I am not sure any of us would ever go anywhere. We at Sophie Woman's Magazine don't want you to miss any of those very special days so we are adding that in the magazine each month and I hope you will like it as much as I do. So let's get started celebrating! Especially since one of my very favorites is coming up. Just in case you don't know, Sunday, September 7th is GRANDPARENTS DAY. Yep, GRANDPARENTS DAY and yes I am shouting because I don't want my grandkids to have an excuse for not knowing it. My husband and I don't want presents, we just want a hug. We want time. School has started back and one thing I will miss is the movie day once a week with my granddaughters. We have had so much fun, especially since I got to go to McDonalds each week. OK, I might have stretched it a little on that part but I did love every single moment with them. It is OK though, we will do other things that make memories as well. We have a lot of special days coming up. Such as National Cheeseburger day on Thursday, September 18th. Did I just say that? McDonalds, here I come! There is always something to celebrate. We celebrate our readers and cherish each one of you. When you see us out at events or maybe just in a parking lot and you share your stories with us, we celebrate. Sometimes we may cry but let's remember there is always Joy in the presence of The Lord. Love, Blessings and Laughter to all.
Fun Dates To Remember
September 1st: Labor Day September 4th: National Wildlife Day & Newspaper Carrier Day September 5th: Teachers Day, International Day of Charity, & National Lazy Mom’s Day September 7th: Grandparents Day & National ADD Awareness Day September 8th: International Literacy Day September 9th: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Awareness Day & Wonderful Weirdos Day September 10th: Suicide Prevention Day September 11th: Patriot Day/National Day of Service & Remembrance September 12th: Banana Day & Stand Up To Cancer Day September 13th: National Peanut Day & Positive-Thinking Day September 14th: National Pet Memorial Day & National Kreme-Filled Donut Day September 15th: World Lymphoma Awareness Day & National Thank You Day September 16th: Step-family Day & National Guacamole Day September 17th: Citizenship Day & Constitution Day September 18th: National Cheeseburger Day & National HIV/ AIDS Awareness Day September 19th: International Talk Like a Pirate Day & Puppy Farm Awareness Day September 20th: International Eat An Apple Day September 21st: International Day Of Peace, Wife Appreciation Day, World Alzheimers Day, & American Business Women’s Day September 22nd: Elephant Appreciation Day, World Car-free Day, Ice Cream Cone Day, & Family Day September 23rd: First Day of Autumn & National Voter Registration Day September 24th: National Women’s Health & Fitness Day September 25th: Rosh Hashanah, Ataxia Awareness Day, & National One-Hit Wonder Day September 26th: Johnny Appleseed Day & Native-American Day September 27th: World Tourism Day, Ancestor Appreciation Day, & Google’s Birthday September 28th: World Rabies Day, Gold Star Mother’s Day, & National Good Neighbor Day September 29th: World Heart Day &National Coffee Day September 30th: Ask A Stupid Question Day
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3
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phie Woman’s Magazine
P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager: Scott Hansley Graphic Design: Brittany LeFever brittany@sophiewomansmagazine.com Sales: Stephanie Daulton Ledford 828-729-8353 stephanie@sophiewomansmagazine.com Kaye Ball kaye@sophiewomansmagazine.com 828-855-8140
A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses. How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste. For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.
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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 6 Sophisticated Women............................................pg 8 The Front Porch...................................................pg 11 Tear Down or Tear Up.......................................pg 12 Girlfriends In God..............................................pg 14 Jacob’s Lemonade Stand ..................................pg 18 My Story Is That God Writes My Story...........pg 22 Wedding Planner .................................................pg 24 My Pink Lipstick...............................................pg 26 Me, Myself, & Inc.............................................pg 29 Work Smarter, Not Harder................................pg 30 Recipes For Life................................................pg 33 Equivocations Of An Eeyore.............................pg 34 Shutterbuggerz....................................................pg 37
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********************************************************** Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. **********************************************************
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: The Ring of Relationships
by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author
More and more, my heart is being captured by young adults. This story was inspired by Kaylee. Kaylee tells an amazing story of how she was going to make a trek to the family barn, most likely to check on her horse. At the last minute, she realized she was wearing a special ring that she did not want to lose. So she removed it and placed it in her pocket as she headed on toward her destination. Later that evening, her jeans were tossed aside. The next morning, Kaylee realized she had forgotten the ring in the pocket and went to retrieve it… only to find it was missing. Her heart sank, as this ring was a gift from her father. It was invaluable, so the search began. She began to trace her steps, stopping briefly to pet the family dog… only to find the ring lying on the ground beside the dog’s front paw. It was as if he had been guarding it.
Many families have a family signet ring that is passed from generation to generation, bearing some mark or designs that ‘signifies’ something memorable about their heritage. I now wear another ring as well. On a recent trip to Hawaii, the Lord whispered that He was going to give me an engagement ring. He is raising up a generation of people who will make Him their first love. He directed me to a beautiful ring made of silver and Hawaiian Koa wood. It was far beyond my budget. Then I heard Him say to wait. Two days later, I found the same ring at another shop for a fraction of the price. I now wear it as a symbol that my heart, my life, my agenda, and my resources belong to Jesus to be used for His honor and His glory.
Ultimately the ring is only a symbol. I have to ask myself if my life ‘signifies’ my intimate relationship to Jesus. In other words, can I be recognized by my integrity, She said, ‘what are the chances of that happening?’ my character, my “family likeness”? With a bold teenage faith, she believed that God led her back to that treasure. Jesus is my ultimate model. Who is yours? Who do you want to be most closely associated with? Go ahead. Her story makes me thinking of my family ring. I wear Take your dusty ring of relationship out of the box, polish the high school class ring of my mother’s sister Evelyn. it a bit, and place it on your finger. But remember, the She is one of my closest family members and one of ring doesn’t seal your commitment. It is only a symbol my dearest friends. The ring bears her graduation year, of your commitment. Your you invest your life signifies 1945. your commitment. Although a ring of a different generation, our rings have something in common. Both are rings of relationship. Hers signifies her bond with her father and mine signifies my bond with my Auntie. They were both gifted to us by those who knew we would cherish not only the rings, but also the relationship. In Come Away My Beloved, my favorite devotional, we hear God draw near to remind us… “I, too, would bring you into My house and spread for you a feast of blessings and place upon you the garment of praise, the ring of relationship, and the sandals of peace.” (Frances J. Roberts) pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
Something as simple as a ring can remind us of who we are and how we plan to live out our days. We were created for relationship. Surround yourself in the coming weeks with those who “signify” all you hope to become. Who you associate with will ultimately change who you are.
As a Life Coach of global impact, Kim would love to share these principles and more with your group or organization, with topics ranging from identity/ goals/vision to developing the leader within. How could your organization be transformed today by identifying and revising broken systems? Kim would also love to hear your life and leadership impact stories. You may contact her team of coaches and speakers directly at: www.kimfletcherassociates.com / kimfletchercoach@aol.com / 828 327 6702.
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SophiImpact sticated their Women... Environment By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
As a sophisticated woman, you understand that your presence makes a difference. Your attitude, intelligence, beliefs, emotions and service shape the world around you. You give a valiant effort everyday to be positive, think things through, love and contribute in a remarkable way. I celebrate you. However, there is more you and I must do. All of us have a blind spot, a place where we don’t see how our behavior is impacting the environment. In my case, the environment is my blind spot. Not necessarily the one within 20 feet of me, but the entire planet we call earth. Having just completed Environmental Science over the summer in pursuit of my college degree, I am grieved, seriously grieved about planet earth. But, I am even more grieved by my blind spot. I am grieved by the impact that I personally have on the environment. I thought that if I was recycling, I was doing my part. Hello, I even celebrated myself for using those recyclable bags at the grocery store instead of using plastic. But, I have come to understand the problem is way bigger than that. I have a ton of bad habits that are contributing to the landfill, water shortage, and energy use. Habit work is challenging work and a core tenant in my coaching methodology. Once an individual sees that their own behavior is negatively impacting their life or the life of others at the core I believe concerted effort must be made to change no matter how inconvenient. You might be thinking the environment is a BIG issue and that the environmental scares “out there” somewhere else besides “here” aren’t close enough to make me seriously consider my habits must change. That’s what I was thinking. And my blind spot was working beautifully. Ironically, after I took my final exam in Environmental Science I rewarded myself with a visit to FaceBook. As I read through the stream of posts, my dear friend from Toledo, OH posted that the water coming through her faucet was toxic. Yes, toxic. Upstream from her city’s intake for public drinking water, chemical runoff had caused an algae bloom in the water leaving my maid of honor, best friend, and hometown girl without water. All of a sudden this environment issue got R.E.A.L. You may be thinking, ‘How does that happen?’ It happens when individuals make decisions that over
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
time add up to a very negative broad reaching impact. The good news is that Toledo had drinking water as of this print. The bad news is that we don’t know how these things happen. We aren’t really seeing our blind spot regarding the environment. But, there is hope! As Sophisticated women, we must understand sophisticated issues. Our responsibility is to first turn the mirror inward and look at how we can personally impact the environment in a positive way. Here are seven simple things you can do to assess your impact on the environment and choose a new habit. If we start to learn and take action personally, then we can begin to inform, educate and inspire others to do the same. If you’ve always wanted to make what Steve Jobs called “a dent in the universe” start now. • • • • • • •
Habit #1 Self educate yourself about environmental issues. Habit #2 Read books about how you can better live out the “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle” mantra. Habit #3 Turn off the water. (while brushing your teeth, shorter showers, and run your clothes and dishes on shorter cycles) Habit #4 Use an internet based Carbon Footprint Calculator to SEE your personal impact on the environment. Habit #5 Teach your environment about the environment. Tell your children, your neighbors and colleagues what you are learning. Habit #6 Get out in the woods. Experience planet earth. The closer you get the more awareness you have of it’s value. Habit #7 Eat differently. Eating your vegetables isn’t just about nutrition. It’s about the environment. Consider going vegetarian three days a week. Let’s get started! At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
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Front Porch The
by Judy Smith
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ecently, the scene from my porch has been a little over grown. Weeds have taken over some of the flower area, well, actually most of the flower area. The grass finally choked out some most of the dandelions, clover, and ragweed. Choked is probably not the right word. My husband tells me we have a “special” grass that goes dormant in the winter and is lush and full in the summer. The problem with that is, it takes most of the summer to catch up with the weeds. It does start to look pretty good once it has become “undormant”. Then it just takes off. That part is very good. When the lawnmower quits working, that is very bad. First it was the weed eater that started acting up and just would not eat those weeds. It was being more stubborn than a child with a plate of spinach. I want to be honest here and tell you it was pretty ugly. My poor husband worked and worked and worked. He finally got it running and thought he would get caught up. Then the lawnmower quit. I am pretty sure there is a lot in the Bible about anger but when I tried to share a verse, well, let’s just say I believe
in demon possession even if I do go to a Baptist church that does not practice the exorcism of demons. The grass got so tall even the wild rabbits, which I have named, were afraid to come out and play. My husband does not like anyone else to mow. It can’t be too short or too tall or you can’t go a certain direction.... I am not really sure what the hang up is, but I am pretty sure he needs some counseling. We finally gave in to pay our grandson to come mow for us with his dad’s mower. The pay was pretty good and I told him to make sure he gave some of it to his dad for the gas. Not really sure if that happened but I was happy for another week or so. It’s an old mower and we had already spent quite a bit of money “fixing” it the last couple of years, so my solution was to buy a new one, but noooo. He was sure he could get it fixed. I made some calls and found someone to pick it up, fix it and bring it back. Hallelujah, he was going to be able to cut what was before the yard but now was more like a field. Everything was great and the birds started singing again and I could enjoy the porch. Till the next time when the mower would not start. Refusing to call anyone, he worked on that thing for days. Now please understand, I am not trying to gloat here but I did keep asking him if he had looked at the thingee the man fixed. Are you familiar with that sigh that can come from a man when he thinks you have asked a ridiculous question? Well that is what I got. I put my high top boots on and told him I wanted to go take a look. Maybe I would see something that he had not. Now I am not taking credit. I am sure it was that prayer I said that morning. His reaction when I told him I wanted to push on a plug and him try it was typical of asking someone to do something that was just impossible. He would do it but only to show me how stupid that was. Like I said, I am not taking credit but I was so happy to have the yard back again! We are looking for a new mower and hoping that we can get a deal for the end of the season. My only requirement is for a cup holder and my headphones to work. Just in case I have to mow and I go in the wrong direction.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
TEAR DOWN or BUILD UP You Have The Power by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC One of the most powerful resources we have as parents are our words. What flows from our mouth has the power to build up and encourage or tear down and dishearten. Many great books have been written on this topic. A favorite of mine is How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish. In it the authors use humor and helpful illustrations to give the reader skills and insight to motivate kids with words. Another favorite is the Bible. Throughout God’s word we are repeatedly offered nuggets of wisdom to help us guide our word choice. Some of the most profound are found in the book of Proverbs. • • • •
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Pr. 12:18 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. Pr. 15:4 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. Pr. 25:11 Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. Pr. 29:20
The gist of these verses is that words have great power. The wise parent should learn to be intentional and prudent in speech. Believe it or not, even those words that are hidden in our heads carry great influence. These are the phrases that we instantly form as we make observations throughout our day. They shape how we feel and then respond to what we see. In my work as a counselor, these secret perspectives offer a critical insight about the paradigm from which a person may be operating. For example, one parent might say, “I’m afraid my daughter is emotionally sinking from all of the stressors she is facing.” While another parent may say, “I have noticed that my teen daughter is lacking some key coping skills to manage her stress,” about a similar situation. The difference may seem subtle and unimportant but the variance in word choice is quite significant. The first parent’s fear may actually drive the way they help their daughter address the problem. The second parent’s simple observation will also affect the tone and manner in which they come alongside their teen. Even though the differences may seem subtle or overly analytical, when we are
pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
addressing problems, a slight distance like this can significantly impact the hope we feel and the solutions we generate as we help ourselves and our teens. Of course, both our thoughts (observations) and feelings have enormous value. But when we pay more attention to the fear we have, we actually engage a completely different portion of our brain. Because fear is experienced in our primitive brain, fearbased responses to situations tend to lead to one of two extreme reactions. The first is a tendency to be more passive, which may lead us to withdraw, ignore, or even to create a barrier of protection between the problem and our teen. We may pull away from actually addressing the problem, hoping it will all disappear. The second is a tendency to hold a more aggressive stance. This may cause us to become threatening or overly controlling as we strive to control the situation and the outcome. Both of these fear based responses provoke a roller coaster of emotions, especially if we shift from one extreme to the other. When we choose to pay more attention to what is required instead of focusing on our fears, a completely different part of our brain is activated. This region is known as the cortex and it operates very differently than our more primitive and protective portion of our brain. When we operate from this region we are more able to generate the most rational, creative and thoughtful responses to the difficulties we face as parents. Not only that, it is as we use our cortex that we are able to fix our eyes on Christ. Utilizing His help and our best brain, we will find it much easier to minimize fear and maximize our hope. Above all, we provide our teens with a godly example of stress management. Words matter. How we audibly or mentally combine them greatly impacts how we address the dilemmas we daily face. I challenge you to notice your first response to a predicament you are currently facing. If you are reacting or coping out of fear, adjust your posture to a more hope filled, Christ centered observation. You will be amazed at how this slight adjustment can positively impact how you and your teenager individually and collectively move through the next problem that arises.
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Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor. For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
Born To Be Wild: Part 2 by Gwen Smith
Today’s Truth
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.(Romans 8:37)
Friend to Friend
Yesterday we visited the story of an unlikely champion: a racehorse named Seabiscuit. He was too small, the jockey was too big and blind in one eye – and yet, against all odds, this scrappy horse and rider won the coveted Triple Crown in 1939. Seabiscuit’s owner, trainer, and jockey all learned rich lessons as they chose to see promises in the midst of their problems. In an effort to help the horse remember how to be a horse, the trainer had the jockey run Seabiscuit in open grassy fields. They took him back to his roots. Back to a place where space was plentiful and restrictions were but a simple fence. Back to a place of wild freedom. And by doing so, they awakened a fresh spark of purpose in the heart of the stallion. He went on to be a champion that ran like the wind, changed the lives of three broken men, and inspired a knotted nation that was bound by tangles of a dark time: the Great Depression. At one low point, however, the owner felt the horse was too wild… wild with rebellion and stubbornness… too damaged to keep… untamable and unusable. The trainer, a broken outcast himself, came to the defense of Seabiscuit by protesting to his frustrated owner, “You don’t throw a whole life away just cause it’s banged up a little.” He saw promise in the midst of their problem. And so it should be with you and me. In Romans 8, the apostle Paul assures us that no matter what we are up against, as followers of Jesus Christ – we are equipped in Him with all the power needed to overcome. “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37) There are times we all struggle to see hope. Times when we want to throw in the towel, throw up our hands, and run the other way. Times when we believe our children are too far gone, our workplaces are too insufferable, our relationships are too complicated, our finances are too overwhelming, our marriages are too fragmented, and our health difficulties are too painful. What can we do in these times? Fix our eyes on God’s promises and provision instead of on our problems. The richest lessons of life often come from the most painful pits we pass through. Pastor John Piper, in his book Desiring God, said it this way, “God, in love, will use whatever trials are necessary to intensify our savoring of his glory.” Every ounce of every struggle you face can be used to bring honor and glory to God if you will allow His grace to meet you in your weak and weary places. In Christ, and because of His
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
perfect love – courage, hope, and strength are fully accessible each time you look to God in the midst of your problems. Remember? You are born to be wild. Wild for Jesus. Wild with confidence and courage to press through resistance because of His faithful, redemptive love. Wild with purpose. Wildly surrendered to the will of God. Wildly obedient to His commands. Wildly led by the power of the Holy Spirit at work within you. Take this to heart and remember who you were born to be. Believe beyond your brokenness today, knowing that God won’t throw a whole life away just cause it’s banged up a little.
Let’s Pray
Dear Lord, Your love is wild: untamable, unstoppable and unbreakable! Pour Your grace, healing, and strength on every struggle, weakness, and banged up area of my life. Help me to rise up and live with a wildly confident and courageous faith. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Read Romans 8, then underline or journal any verses that connect with or challenge your heart. Finally, spend time in responsive prayer and worship. Need PRAYER? Click here to visit my blog. Leave a prayer request in the comments section. Then pause to pray for some of the other prayer needs on my wall. We’re all in this together, so let’s encourage one another!
More from the Girlfriends
Ready for a fresh adventure with God? Get Knowing God by Name by Sharon Jaynes, Gwen Smith, & Mary Southerland. This is the perfect book for individual study or for gathering a group of friends in what we call GiG Groups. With impactful devotions, study questions, journal pages, and free on-line video intros, this book is a resource you’ll refer to time-and-time again. Gwen’s website is filled with videos, posts, songs and resources that will be a deep well of encouragement to you. Please swing by to visit: www.GwenSmith.net. (Get a FREE SONG download when you sign up for her newsletter!) Seeking God? Girlfriends in God P.O. Box 1311 Huntersville, NC 28070 www.girlfriendsingod.com
Save the Date 15th Annual Susan G. Komen NC Foothills Race for the Cure速 Saturday, October 18, 2014 Lenoir-Rhyne University Register online for only $15 for the first 15 days of July. Online Registration: www.komenncfoothills.org 828-328-2873
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
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Sep 3: - Hickory Farmers Market (Every Wed & Thur) Sep 4: - Yiasou Greek Festival, Charlotte (through 7th) Sep 5: - Morganton Festival (& 6th) Sep 11: - Drexel Community Fair, Morganton Sep 13: - Hildebran Classic Cruise In, Sep 14: Panther’s vs. Lions, Charlotte Sep 19: - Festival in the Park, Charlotte -Lincoln County Apple Festival (Through 20) Sep 21: Panthers Vs. Steelers, Charlotte
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
Jacob’s Lemonade Stand E
By Kim Eroh
verything happens for a reason. Even though sometimes we aren’t sure what that reason is, when we are given the benefit of hindsight we may see things in a different light.
When I was diagnosed with a rare form of ovarian cancer at 32 years old, I couldn’t imagine why it was happening to me. I had two small children (now 8 and 3) to care for, I owned a business, I had a “TO DO” list a mile long, and I was in the prime of my life. Even my doctors told me I was too young for cancer and that I didn’t fit the profile. But there I was, facing surgery and chemotherapy and the dreadful reality that I had cancer. But why? Why did it happen to me? Why did my children have to be touched by cancer at such an early age? There was no answer to those questions. As a mother, my primary concern was how this experience would affect my children. At the time my youngest was only 1 year old so his memory of it all is non-existent. But my older son, Jacob, is mature beyond his age. He is a sensitive child with a huge heart, which means he can be a worrier. I tried to stay positive and upbeat. We laughed when my hair fell out, and joked that I was like C3PO when I was plugged up to the chemo drip via my port. But sleeping 16 hours a day and being too exhausted to walk to the mailbox weren’t really helping my “stay positive” vibe. I felt so guilty for not being able to be the mom that I wanted to be. But he never seemed to feel slighted. He came in to hug me each day before he left for school and sat on the bed with me to read when I was too tired to do much else. His strength gave me even more determination. About half way through my treatment, Jacob’s school sent home information for Relay for Life Kids walk. He said he wanted to raise money for cancer research and I asked him how he thought he could do that. His response was “I can sell lemonade!” So that’s just what we did. The next week we planned to set up a lemonade stand in front of a business in downtown Statesville. News spread like wildfire. People were sharing it on Facebook and the newspaper interviewed him. When asked why he wanted to raise money he said “because it’s important to help people when they are sick”. To him, it was as simple as that. He raised over $1700 in one afternoon. People were stopping me in the grocery store to give me money for his fundraising efforts. The
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
outpouring of support was so overwhelming and I felt such pride! I was proud of Jacob and what he has accomplished – and that he knows how important it is to help others. He makes my world brighter every day and one day he will accomplish great things because of the love and support and sense of the greater good that the experience instilled in him. And I was also proud to be a part of a community that would come together and rally behind him the way everyone did. He will carry with him a positive memory out of all of the negative that surrounds cancer. That experience has truly served to mold his young mind and he will remember it always… we all will! In fact, we continue to hold lemonade stands to raise money for support services for cancer patients and their families. Jacob’s vision sparked the beginnings of a wide-spread effort to “help people when they are sick”. So, maybe that is the reason… the answer to the “why me?” question. Maybe the experience that we endured was meant to help mold us all. I know that through every challenge that I have faced in life, one thing has always remained constant: Everything happens for a reason. And now, this life-threatening illness has given me a reason to live life better than before because I know now that “tomorrow” is a gift to be treasured. To appreciate being a part of a community that embraced my family with tenderness during this battle. To grow as a person – humbled by the outpouring of love and support. To be even more thankful for a beautiful family and to enjoy every minute with them. To laugh at things that seem unlaughable (being surrounded by the innocence and imagination of children makes laughing at these things much easier!) These realizations have become the silver lining in the “cloud” of cancer. Everything happens for a reason, and for me the answer to the question “Why me?” is this: Because every challenge and every triumph of my life will help me to evolve into the person that I will eventually become. And for my children, the experience of those difficult times will make them stronger and more adept to handle trials that they may face in the future. A friend told me once (as I was stressing over how my children would ever rebound from those months of seeing me sick), “Our job as parents isn’t to make life easy for our kids, it’s to prepare them for when life isn’t easy”. To that end, I will leave you with our family motto: “When life gives you lemons, Sell lemonade!”
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More Details at www.viewmontstreetstrut.com Par ticipating Businesses: Adrienne’s Consignment, Badcock Home Furniture & More, Bootleggers' Whiskey Bar • Grill, Bumblebee Interiors, Café Gouda, Catawba Valley Center for Martial Arts, Clark Tire, Dockside Seafood Market, Ever A Woman, Everyone Yoga, First Citizens Bank, Hannah's BBQ South, Head Over Heels, Health Hut, Hops & Grapes, Kelly & Company, Mattress Outlet, Morphis Law & Mediation, Outdoor Supply Company, Pampered Nails • Hair • Skin, Rock 'N Road Bicycles, Salon Bella Victoria, Select Tech Solutions, Studio 2120, The Green Sheep, Razzberries, The Roasted 'Tater, Unique World Gifts, Viewmont Animal Hospital, Wild Birds Unlimited, Wine & Design, Wyke Cleaners PLUS MORE!!
Get Ready For A Street Struttin’ Celebration! By LeAnna Graves
I
t’s that time of year again…time to put on your struttin’ shoes, and hit the streets of Viewmont! The 5th annual Viewmont Street Strut, a celebration of the diverse nature of the community is happening in Hickory, NC, on Saturday, September 27. Area businesses, retail shops and restaurants are uniting together once again to bring this event to life. This year’s event is sponsored by the City of Hickory. “The City continues to be impressed with the response to past Viewmont Street Strut events, and we want to show our ongoing support for the event. We believe that collaboration is the key for success, and with the help of community partners, Hickory is being noticed locally and beyond,” said City of Hickory Communications Director and Brand Manager Mandy Pitts. “We plan to continue to keep the momentum going. All of our collective efforts help the community attract people and businesses.” This year’s Viewmont Street Strut event is lining up to be a day filled with exciting activities. There will be free trolley and shuttle buses running all day through the heart of the Viewmont community, so you will not have to deal with traffic or with finding that perfect parking space. Designated shuttle stops are being placed along the route, making it easy to visit as many businesses as possible.
Matt Miller of Bootleggers’ Whiskey Bar • Grill, who has been a participant each year, is pleased with the impact the event makes on the community. “We are seeing more and more families sharing the day out together, because there really is something for everyone, regardless of gender or age.” The Street Strut is designed to allow neighbors to gather and sample the wide assortment of restaurants and shops, right here in our own back yard. It also showcases many extremely talented artists and musicians who live and work in the area. “We love the community feel of the Viewmont area. It is impressive how the Street Strut unites different types of businesses together to create a positive experience in the area,” commented Natasha Bouldin, of Roasted ‘Tater restaurant. “It brings the whole community together in support of each other.” Every location is doing something different to celebrate the day. There will be wine tastings, live dancing and musical entertainment, free food, special sale discounts, fun activities for the kids, talented artists and sculptors for us to meet, plus so much more! New Viewmont businesses, including Everyone Yoga and Morphis Law & Mediation, are joining into this year’s festivities. “We are excited to be a part of the Viewmont business community, and the Viewmont Street Strut is a great event for families to attend together” remarked Henry Morphis. So, plan to start early, and finish late! See you at the Street Strut!
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21
God My Story is That
Writes My Story
By Mary Albers Felk
I am in the process of birthing a manuscript for a Christian romance novel. The power of word magic is some kind of awesome. If I want my heroine to be blonde then, with a tap on the keyboard, I’ve made her blonde - without the hassle of a 2 hour hair appointment and $75 price tag. She’s insecure? (“Gee whiz, Sally Sue, I just don’t know if this is a good idea because, well, what if...I mean, like, there could be problems if I...”) Tap, tap (“Without question, Sally Sue, I’ve made the right decision.”). In only 9 words my heroine becomes admirably selfconfident. Life too difficult? I simply lighten things up for her a bit. Ta dah! Word magic. Because I am the author. According to rule a romance novel must end with a happily ever after. Any sicknesses of heart, mind, body, or soul in the hero or heroine are guaranteed not to end in death. The reader will relish a descriptive image of lives walking off into a proverbial sunset. As I construct the plot I create circumstances that will ultimately end in a happily ever after. The handsome hero isn’t going to die at the end? Nope. Tragic loss hurts too much. Children wander from the faith? Fine. But, by golly, I’ll have them back by supper time. Fully repentant, mind you, and begging for forgiveness before they race upstairs to tidy up their bedrooms. Doctor has bad news? Well, then expect to see a complete physical healing. And just in time to walk a daughter down the aisle. Financial disaster? Have them win the lottery. Because I am the author. Unknowingly, I wrote the story of my childrens’ lives, too, long before they were first handed to me, tightly swaddled and smelling of baby lotion. Vitual manuscript construction began with my first positive pregnancy test. “So, Lord, it’ll go like this...” The best part of writing my children’s story? I’d give myself a hearty pat on the back for how well it turned out (Insert part where I choke on presumptuous pride here). I would unashamedly glut the known world with endless social media postings. Their stories would all be sqeaky clean, morally pure, G-rated content. Christian genre, of course.
His tone was gentle. He spared me a fierce, Job-like ‘Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?’ interrogation. He’s good like that. In matters of story writing I have learned that the Lord does not negotiate. And there are no guarantees. As both Author and Chief Acquistions Editor, He is not beholden to the manuscipt I wrote. Casting off weighty resentment for the way things appear to have “turned out”, I have chosen instead to embrace the truth that He is the Author. Of my story, of my childrens’ story, of your story. And all for His glory. How about you? Consider releasing the death grip on your pen and paper and instead: 1.
2.
3.
Praise Him that, ultimately, you are not the author of yours or anyone else’s story. Honestly, would you really want that burden of responsibility rather than entrusting plot structure to a holy, loving, omniscient God? How many times have things turned out differently the way you presumed and you were ever so grateful? Keep giving thanks! Pray. Relentlessly. The Author of your story has included a Villain. He’s a deceiver. While it’s true that he won’t make it through to your ‘happily ever after’ (sweet justice spoiler alert: gets thrown alive into a lake of burning sulphur) he’s determined to make you believe you won’t either. Purpose to say, “It’s not my story to write” in the midst of life’s plot twists and turns. Trust that God is scripting a real pageturner with you as its main character.
As for my story, I’m not privvy to its total word count, the number of chapters, what twists God has constructed into its plot or even what genre (although, I boldly put in request for a good, clean romancy one as opposed to a murder mystery). But I have learned to embrace, with thanksgiving, all that’s been written so far and to trust Him with the happily ever after. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.” Hebrews 12:2
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Throughout the course of her private nutrition consulting business she wrote much of her own teaching materials. Mary is currently constructing her first Christian contemporary romance using principles taught by My Book Therapy (www.mybooktherapy.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written.
I remember vividly that Sunday afternoon. One of my children appeared to be disinterested in church. When questioned the response I got was nothing more than a shrug, an explanation that reeked of apathy followed by a distant stare. Gasp! Must edit!
She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver. In the midst home education (17 years and counting…) she continues to pursue her passion to write. She can often be bribed to take a break if chocolate is involved in the negotiation process.
As years of investment in the child’s life showed little to no return my inquiries before the throne were incessant. “Lord, how could this be? After all I have done? This is so not the way I wrote their story.”
Mary cordially invites you to take a plunge into deep oceans of thought or to stop and laugh out loud at her website, www.maryfelkins.com
The Lord spoke out of the storm. “Who writes their story?”
pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
Email contact: maryfelkins@charter.net
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
THINGS YOUR
Wedding
Planner
DOESN’T TELL YOU by Mackey S. Carpenter www.mscdesigns.net
Weddings have been around almost from the beginning of time. Actually, no one knows for sure, but since they began, things have become a lot more hectic. One thing you will learn when planning a wedding, the closer it gets, the crazier things become. The words nice and polite are temporarily gone from the vocabulary. MOST of the problems, not all, have to do with the budget or lack of one. Here are a few little tidbits that gradually move up the final cost of the grand event. 1. The fees that are charged by the wedding planner, director or consultant can add up. Make sure any “extras” are covered in the contract. Yes, a contract. Their responsibilities should be written down, not just for you but for them as well. 2. The cost of the pastor and the church for the ceremony. You would be surprised at the people who aren’t aware that the pastor gets paid, even if one of you is a member of the church. And churches use electricity, water, etc. Plus, someone has to be there to let you in and lock up later. 3. Cost to have the cake cut at the reception. When you book your venue, ask about the cost of having the cake cut and served. It may be included, but you need to know. Don’t just assume it’s part of the rental service.
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
4. Wedding gown alterations are usually not considered in the wedding costs until the time comes for it to be done. Ask ahead of time about the charges not just for alterations but for steaming/pressing and cleaning. Also, be aware that the price may go up if there is a change in weight, heel height or the wedding date. If you are having a portrait done before the wedding, this should be among one of the first things discussed. 5. When you are picking out invitations, keep in mind the number you will need to order and what it will cost to send them through the mail. They can be a little pricey. Fifty cents each or more is not unheard of when considering the amount of postage it will take. And I you are doing RSVP cards, that’s even more. 6. Gifts for bridesmaids, groomsmen, and the “special” people helping with the wedding. All of these require a little something from you (and the groom) and usually the cost is not included in the budget. This is where you really need to be thorough because feelings can be hurt if someone is left out. 7. Hair and makeup. Some brides provide people to do hair and makeup the day of the wedding for the bridesmaids, herself, mother of the bride and possibly mother of the groom. But there is also the cost of such for the portrait and maybe a trial run beforehand. Again, all of this adds up.
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8. Music. Most bands or DJ’s do a contract that specifies the kind of music and the amount of time they will play. That’s fine. But what is everything is going well and you want them to play for another hour or two? Make sure that is also covered in the contract or it may cost you later. 9. Cost of food. May not be a big deal if it’s included in the price of the venue, but what if 20 more people show up. Most venues and caterers do a head count. And they charge per person (most of the time), even if it’s a buffet. Again, check the contract. 10. Tips and gratuities. Everybody gets tipped, even when you pay for their services. Make a list ahead of time and decide how much for each.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 25
My Pink Lipstick
T
hink back to when you were 8 years old , sweet 16, a new Mom of 29, or just last week. Do you remember that person? Don’t look in the mirror – look inside your heart. Aren’t you that person? I know that for me it’s absolutely true. Yes, I AM the SAME person I was at 8, 16 and 29! It’s just ME IN HERE! I remember how the hyacinth smelled in my parent’s front yard on Easter morning when I was 8 and I still can feel how tight my patent leathers were. My stomach still gets in knots when I think about getting ready for prom. There isn’t a question in my mind that I can feel the butterflies of when I held my baby daughter for the first time. Today I was with my mother in law and she said these words to me, “I am totally out of pink lipstick. As a matter of fact I don’t have any makeup. I don’t know what happened to those things when I moved here (to the Assisted Living community). The first thought that ran through my head was, “for heaven’s sake she is 90 years old, why is she even worried about that.” Then I had a realization. She is the same person she has always been. More importantly I should respect that! She still gets excited about a new outfit. She enjoys Braves baseball. She loves to get her hair done and she is totally out of PINK LIPSTICK! Recently my Dad and I were talking about his life and what he has been facing with growing old. He said in a very matter of fact
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
way, “You know, never in my wildest dreams did I think things would be like this, or that I’d be living like this. You know in my mind I’m still the same.” Wow! What a wakeup call. I get the distinct feeling that these two very important people in my life are trying to TEACH ME something. Just because we grow older, and ultimately grow old it doesn’t change the fact that we ARE STILL the same person. There is a tendency to view seniors as needy shells and not as real people. The fact of the matter is it’s just not true. Even when we have family or friends with dementia. If they loved music, warm baths, or hugs they will probably still find those things comforting even if they can’t express their wishes fully. Next time you are with someone older ask them about a relevant episode in their life and watch their entire body language change. Their eyes become brighter, their voice becomes stronger, their mood will most certainly lighten- and WHY? I can tell you why, it’s because inside they are the same person they have always been. It’s up to us NOT to marginalize them. So tomorrow I go makeup shopping for my sweet mother in law. First item on the list…..PINK LIPSTICK! Cyndi C. Caldwell Certified Senior Advisor* Seniors Helping Seniors EMAIL: cloucaldwell@gmail.com
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INSIDE:
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Girlfriends In God ~ The Power of Quiet |
“Changes�~ Dealing with My Postpartum Depression |
Reaching Your Full Potential ~ How you see yourself will determine who you become (Part 2) |
Reaching Your Full Potential ~ The Lazy Woman’s Guide To Achievement |
Sounds of Silence: The Lesson in the Loss |
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pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
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Is optimism the secret to bliss? September is International Self Awareness Month. As I pondered this as a potential topic for this month's column, the word bliss came to mind. Look up the word "bliss" in the dictionary and definitions include: "utter joy and contentment; supreme happiness; heaven; and paradise." Probably our greatest ability to realize true bliss lies in our own self awareness in how we contribute to and potentially diminish bliss within our lives. Could you or someone you know be stealing away their own bliss through their actions, words or attitude? High road versus "I" road: Several years ago, I was talking to a friend who was going through a divorce. What struck me about this conversation was her sense of peace with the entire situation amidst what others would consider to be a highly chaotic time in her life. It was her attitude and approach to her divorce that was the secret. She determined that she would put her ego aside in order to do what she felt was the right and best thing to do for everyone concerned. She was determined to come out on the other side of the situation knowing that she approached it with grace, consideration and strength through a focus on the positive versus the negative. "Taking the high road has less traffic," she said to me, and this has resonated with me ever since. Think about it. This can apply to any situation of conflict. How can you take the high road? The bliss that comes from doing so is immeasurable. Enlightenment versus "frightenment": Too often when we are in a disagreeable situation, the natural response is to become defensive or offensive in order to regain the power that you feel is being lost. When being defensive, it can be a means of masking or redirecting away from what you fear about the situation. When being in the offensive mode, you become emphatic on being the one that is right, always having that last word, or offending someone with your words to disarm and confuse them in some way. Instead of going on the defense or offense, seek enlightenment instead. Whether you feel fear or seek to instill fear, neither serve you well. Seek to understand why the situation has gotten into its current state of being and your contribution to the problem. Seek to understand the perspective of others involved. Seek to understand your true motives and desires related to what would be the ideal outcome and resolution. Through enlightenment, you can realize a more palatable pathway to bliss.
Hopeful versus woeful: When one frustrating thing after another seems to be occurring in your life, it can feel as though the world is against you. A "Why me?" woefulness can set into your psyche that causes you to only focus on everything that is going wrong. Then, the next think you know, more is going wrong creating what feels like an endless cycle of chaos. The best thing you can do when you are caught being sucked into a woeful state of mind is to embrace hope. This begins with seeing all that is going right in spite of what appears to be going wrong. Force yourself to take a moment to see the hope that is all around you, and you will begin to shift towards a more blissful way of thinking. Gratitude versus attitude: Bliss is a direct derivative of feeling blessed. When you truly appreciate, you are better able to contemplate options when faced with a challenge or unfavorable situation. Too often, when something occurs that is not to our liking, we immediately become upset, agitated, and annoyed by the inconvenience or inconsideration. One of the most powerful things you can do is to immediately ask yourself what you appreciate or are grateful for related to this situation. Yes, this can be hard to do at first, but when you get into the practice of this, you discover something about yourself. You discover that there is another way to think about the situation that is more productive. Then, out of that gratitude comes a better way for you to move forward in addressing the situation. Being able to see the positive side of any given situation is a blessing that can serve you well amidst the chaos of everyday living. If you are naturally a glass-half-empty mentality, it can even be more challenging to get your mind wrapped around the power of positivity and optimism. I suggest that the key is to take your thoughts beyond the glass-half-full way of thinking to one that seeks to have a cup flowing over with a life that is gratifying and satisfying. Then you will not just know bliss, you will be living it.
Bio: SherrĂŠ DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
Work Smarter, Not Harder by Susan Guest, ASID Like many entrepreneurs, I struggle to achieve a life-work balance! During the economic downturn, most of us worked harder than before just trying to keep the bills paid. Many small businesses either closed their doors or moved to home offices. Having a business at your residence certainly has some advantages, like tax benefits, lower operating costs, sometimes fewer employees, flexible hours, and ease of use. However, it is often hard to get away from a large project or pressing needs when it is time to relax and enjoy family time. Some days I get so far into the work zone, that one of my dogs has to drag her food dish across the floor to remind me that it is time to eat. (It is always time for her to eat!) It is hard to stay out of my office on weekends-even when a huge deadline is not looming. Making the most of your office can enhance your work performance and give you more quality time doing other things that you love. If you do have a home office or considering moving your business to your home, these are some things you might consider. •
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Determine Your Needs and Goals- List each activity that you will do in your office and plan for those needs. Some examples of office needs might be a library, presentation space, computer area, inventory, file storage, supplies, and a work area for you or employees. Items that are not used daily may need to be stored in other area of your home. Work Zones- Independent business owners usually juggle many duties such as sales, marketing, customer service, presentations, accounts, etc. Divide your work space into zones for different tasks. If your office is in a room with another use, divide the area with a screen, bookcase, or with your furniture arrangement. A computer armoire that closes after hours is a great solution for home businesses. Set office hours and post those for family members and clients. Dress for work each day. Consider a separate phone line/computer for business only. Storage and Furniture- Most offices have a functional desk that is large enough for a computer. A comfortable chair is important and you should have 39” behind the chair for clearance. Filing cabinets with full extension drawers work best and should have 36-39” clearance in front of drawers. Ample lighting prevents eye strain and adds to productivity. The desk should face a window or door, unless you are less distracted facing the wall. Location. Whether your home office is for work or household needs, find a location that will help you be most efficient. An area with good lighting or windows is crucial. Depending on the activities that you will be doing, the office may need to be close to or away from central activities of the home. If clients come to your space, you may need to locate your work area close to the front door or provide a separate entrance.
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
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In smaller homes, the office may need to be placed in a living room, dining room, or other area. Space Stretchers- If your space is limited, consider some of the following ideas: Mount your computer monitor on a swing arm and place the CPU under the desk. Store supplies in a separate armoire, closet, or another area of the house. Go vertical-use floor to ceiling shelves or the top of bookcases for storage. A rolling cart or files are great for convenience. Organize- Entrepreneurs tend to feel like they are wasting time if they are not making money. You will benefit immensely in time, money, and opportunities from simple organizing. Inspect your current system and see what is working and what is not. Change only what is not working. Purge! Don’t load yourself down with things that may come in handy someday. Toss out information you already know, outdated brochures, old stationary and books you don’t use, and accounting records over 7 years old. Equalize- After your office is organized, allow about 15 minutes at the end of your workday to put everything away. This will help you be ready for the next work day or task. Allow time each year to tune-up your system as your business grows or change. Special and changing Needs- Think through your needs at different intervals during the year. As your physical requirements and job duties change, your office may need to reflect that. For instance, I am sitting at the computer more that I have in the past because most catalogues are online now. This has encouraged me to consider finding a workstation that is raised so that I can stand part of the day. Door-One of the best purchases I ever made for my business was a door to separate the rest of the house from my office. This is great for a workaholic or when concentration and silence are required. At the end of the day, I close my office door and try to not go back in until the next work day.
Having a home office can be convenient for working parents or those who like freedom to travel and pursue other hobbies. Hopefully some of these suggestions will help you in your work-whether it be running a business or a household.
Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
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September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month During a pelvic exam the doctor will feel the woman’s organs to check their size and shape. But most ovarian tumors are hard to find early because the ovaries are deep within the body and it isn’t easy for the doctor to feel them. The Pap test helps to find cervical cancer early, but it is not really useful for finding ovarian cancer early. See a doctor if you have symptoms Symptoms of ovarian cancer can include swelling or bloating, pain in the belly, trouble eating, and bladder symptoms (feeling as if you have to go often or always feeling as if you have to go). These symptoms are most often caused by something besides ovarian cancer. Sometimes when ovarian cancer is the cause, the symptoms are more severe, but that isn’t always true. What is most important is that they are a change from how a woman usually feels. Still, early cancers of the ovaries often cause no symptoms.
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About 14,270 women will die from ovarian cancer. Ovarian cancer ranks fifth in cancer deaths among women, accounting for more deaths than any other cancer of the female reproductive system. A woman’s risk of getting ovarian cancer during her lifetime is about 1 in 73. Her lifetime chance of dying from ovarian cancer is about 1 in 100. (These statistics don’t count low malignant potential ovarian tumors.) This cancer mainly develops in older women. About half of the women who are diagnosed with ovarian cancer are 63 years or older. It is more common in white women than African-American women. The rate at which women are diagnosed with ovarian cancer has been slowly falling over the past 20 years. Information provided by The American Cancer Society
Recipes for ife
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by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body (Recipe from Helen Wickham, original source unknown) Something Delicious Melt two sticks butter or margarine in a 9x13 pan. Be sure pan is well greased; pour off butter and reserve. Put one can sliced peaches, juice and all, in pan. Add one small can crushed pineapple. Pour one box yellow cake mix over this. Sprinkle one can coconut on top and one small package chopped pecans over this. Pour reserved butter over all. Bake on 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes.
A Prayer for God’s Blessing Father in Heaven, You are good and loving throughout every season of life. I confess my momentary complaints when I’m selfishly dissatisfied with Your faithful provisions. Thank You for steadfastly keeping Your promises and continually caring for me! I delight in You. Please sensitize me to your wonderful touches in every part of my existence, for I long to be increasingly aware of Your workings. In the exquisite name of Jesus, Your Son, Amen.
Food for the Soul With sparkling blue eyes and a zest for life, my husband’s paternal grandmother quickly won my heart. Meeting over 25 years ago, I didn’t realize then how special she’d become to me. Often Mark and I would visit her—before and after we married. Gladly Gramma shared her simple belongings as she extended every effort to make us comfortable and happy. Fondly I remember playing games with her, walking together, jointly worshipping the Lord, and enjoying meals in her apartment. On one such visit, she proudly shared her recipe for “Something Delicious.” I’m so glad she did. Gramma Wickham now rejoices in Jesus’ very presence. Reflecting on her life, I’m struck with thoughts of her daily dependence on the Lord— her loving trust in Him. Widowed around age 60, she never remarried. I recall one particular time when she spoke of God’s faithful care. He met her needs. He comforted and guided her. He answered her prayers. God maintains a tenderness for widows because He understands the loneliness and uncertainty they frequently face. In the Old Testament book of Ruth, we learn about Naomi and Ruth, two widows forced to
provide for themselves. Surely they periodically felt overwhelmed and frightened, yet God personally cared for them. They didn’t starve or find themselves homeless. Rather, the LORD granted work, then a loving husband to Ruth. Picturing the Lord Jesus Christ, Boaz displayed a thoughtful, kind, and generous love. Not only did he graciously, protectively allow Ruth to glean in his fields, he also accepted her marriage proposal and met her mother-in-law Naomi’s needs: “Her mother-in-law then said to her, ‘Where did you glean today and where did you work? May he who took notice of you be blessed.’ So she told her mother-in-law with whom she had worked and said, ‘The name of the man with whom I worked today is Boaz.’ … Then he said, ‘May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask….’ … And when she came to her mother-in-law she said, ‘How did it go, my daughter?’ And she told her all that the man had done for her. And she said, ‘These six measures of barley he gave to me, for he said, ‘Do not go to your mother-in-law emptyhanded.’” Ruth 2:19, 3:10-11, 16-17, NASB Because God provided Boaz, Naomi and Ruth’s circumstances vastly improved. Likewise, our lives drastically change for the better on account of Christ. In Him, our perspectives alter and hope permanently resides within our hearts. Hardships don’t cease, nor do difficulties disappear. Yet trusting Christ and completely relying on Him everyday grants us peace and rest. Truly there’s no one like Him, the one true God. Personal, protective, and powerful, Christ tenderly loves us. Perhaps you’re a widow or a woman alone. Maybe you feel abandoned and fearful about the future. Please gain comfort knowing that with Christ as your Savior and God as your Father, you lack nothing. He WILL provide. “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.” Ps. 23:1 “The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing.” Ps. 34:10 “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Ps. 84:11 Just as God proved faithful to Naomi, Ruth, and my husband’s beloved grandmother, He remains faithful to us. Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…
Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s ! Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Emily Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference. Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33
Equivocations of an
Eeyore by Peyton Hedrick
If there is an analytic in every group, there is also an Eeyore, and if they happen to be the same person, then you had better be prepared.
My knee didn’t heal. Sure, it felt better, but when I moved or twisted or turned on it, it hurt like crazy. Not to mention that from my knee down, my leg was swollen with a nasty bruise-color. Two days after I got back from Europe, I learned that I had a torn ACL and would require surgery, crutches, and months of physical therapy. I also learned how to make better worst-case scenarios. For example: • • • •
Worst-Case Scenario: I won’t be able to move my leg at all. Reality: Not only does the immobilizer keep my leg from moving, it feels like it weighs fifty pounds and drags painfully on my knee when I stand up.
•
Worst-Case Scenario: I’ll be confined to a recliner for the foreseeable future. Reality: Not only I am stuck in it, I can’t even get out of it on my own.
See, analytics over-think everything, and Eeyores always see the negatives of everything, so when you put them together, you get someone who has clearly thought out why everything is negative. How do I know this? Because, once again, I am one of THOSE people.
•
Analytic Eeyores like me tend to think up worst-case scenarios, because if we can find the worst thing that can possibly happen and figure out a way to get around it, through it, or over it, then we’ll be okay with anything. Whatever actually happens can’t be worse than our worst-case scenario, so we can handle that too. (If this is making sense to you, guess what? You’re probably an analytic, an Eeyore, or both. Good luck.)
•
This worst-case-scenario routine usually works, because, depending on the strength of your imagination, your worst-case scenario is nowhere near what actually happens. For example, what would I do if I pull through an intersection and a car clips the back of my vehicle, flipping it 13 times and landing it on its roof? How do I get out of my seatbelt, get out of my car, and call 911 before the gas tank explodes, totaling the car and killing anyone inside? After I’ve determined that the seatbelt will release, I will use the headrest of my seat to break the window and crawl out, and someone at the gas station across the road will call 911, I can drive easier knowing that anything less than that will be a piece of cake. And then comes the inevitable moment when your worst-case scenario turns out to not actually be the worst case. The summer before my senior year, I hurt my knee playing basketball at church. I couldn’t put any weight on it whatsoever, so I hobbled over to the bleachers and sat, watching everyone else play and, of course, dreaming up a worst-case scenario. What if I did something really serious to my knee? What if I ended up on crutches? What if I didn’t get to go to Europe? What if this knee thing took months to heal? What if I ended up not getting to play volleyball, which was coming up in less than a month? Leaning back against the bleachers, I forced a laugh. Of course none of that would happen. It was just a worst-case scenario. It wouldn’t actually come true. And then it did. I did end up on crutches for a few days. I did get back to walking almost normally. My knee did start feeling better. I did get to go to Europe.
pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
Worst-Case Scenario: The operating room is going to be cold in just shorts and a T-shirt. Reality: The operating room is really cold when you’re in a hospital cap and gown.
•
Worst-Case Scenario: I’m going to miss my senior volleyball season. Reality: I’m going to miss my senior volleyball season AND half my senior basketball season.
After a while, I gave up on worst-case scenarios altogether. I had too much to deal with in the present. As it turns out, things are a lot easier to deal with when you haven’t imagined how many ways they could go horribly wrong beforehand. When I didn’t think about what would happen if I cried or threw up during physical therapy, I actually didn’t mind going. When I stopped worrying that I’d re-tear my ACL every time I turned on my left leg, I figured out that I could stop pausing and looking over my shoulder before I stepped with my left foot. I had given up worst-case scenarios forever. So when my class went on our senior trip to Virginia Beach, I didn’t think up what I would do if the bus broke down three hours from home, even though it was smoking at our first rest stop. Nor did I ponder what would happen if one of us got kidnapped from the boardwalk or washed out to sea in a riptide (okay, maybe I did think about that one) or drowned in the pool. I made up my mind that I was going to enjoy this trip and not even consider the possibility of something bad happening. No more worst-case scenarios for me, no sir. Besides, I don’t think one of my worst-case scenarios would have sent me to the ER at 11:30 on a Sunday night with an inch-long gash in my foot caused by glass from a shattered blender, nor would it have sent me home with three stitches. But I’m not sure, because I’ve sworn off worst-case scenarios. For good.
Peyton is a graduate of Tri-City Christian School in Conover, NC and has been working at Sophie Woman’s Magazine this summer as an intern. She will be heading to Liberty University in Lynchburg Virginia this fall as a freshman. Look for more of Peyton’s articles in upcoming issues.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35
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How Do I Use A QR Code? Well, it’s actually pretty easy…but you have to have the right tools. To use QR codes conveniently you must have a smartphone equipped with a camera and a QR code reader/scanner application feature. Luckily, the newer smartphones models available today often have an app pre-installed on them. However, don’t start breaking out into a sweat yet if you aren’t lucky enough to have that work done for you, it’s nothing a quick push of a button can fix. All you have to do is visit your phone’s app store (examples include the Android Market, Apple App Store, BlackBerry App World, etc.) and download a QR code reader/scanner app. So, now that you have the tools you need, let’s get to scanning. Go out and find yourself a code. Get out your phone and open the app you’ve downloaded or that it came with. Do your best to steady your hand while the QR code is centered on the screen. Voila, as soon as it is done scanning, whatever information, videos, webpage URL’s, etc. were stored in the QR code should present itself for your viewing pleasure.
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pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2014
Shutterbuggerz Monthly Feature
Here are some of the photos from our August Showcase! Submitted by Tiffany Co Photography
photos of everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!
shutterbuggerz.com
www.shutterbuggerz.com
37
shutterbabiez
Submitted by Heidi Houser Photography
Submitted by Lasting Generations Photography Submitted by Christy Miller Photography
Submitted by Jessica Walker
Submitted by Greypress Photography Submitted by Captured by Carswell Photography
Submitted by Lasting Generations Photography
Submitted by Kelly Miller Photography
Submitted by Cheri Hoke Photography Submitted by Amanda Niehaus Photography
Submitted by Heidi Houser Photography
Submitted by Lynch Photography
Submitted by Kandy Ceragioli Photography Submitted by Lynch Photography
shutterPETz
Submitted by Kandy Ceragioli Photography
Submitted by Captured by Carswell Photography Submitted by Jeannie Worley Submitted by Cheri Hoke Photography Submitted by Jennifer Johnson
Submitted by Clara Barnes
Submitted by Don Anthony
Submitted by Lauren Crump Submitted by Michaele Shugart
Submitted by Melinda Bumgarner
Shutterlovebugz Submitted by Tiffany Co Photography
Submitted by Angel Digh Photography Submitted by Angel Digh Photography Submitted by Amanda Niehaus Photography
Submitted by Melissa Cockman
Submitted by Julianne Hall Photography
Submitted by Ashley Lineberger Photography
42
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s showcase.
Shutterteenz Submitted by All About You Photography
Submitted by Sheila Ritchie
Submitted by Inspired Beauty Photography
Submitted by All About You Photography
Submitted by Cheri Hoke Photography
Submitted by Inpsired Beauty Photography Submitted by Angel Digh Photography
Submitted by Megan Brooke Dellinger Photography www.shutterbuggerz.com
41 43
shutterkiddiez
Submitted by Ashley Essary
Submitted by Ashley Lineberger Photography
Submitted by Tiffany Co Photography
Submitted by Jeannie Worley
Submitted by Gary Nance
Submitted by Inspired Beauty Photography
44
Submitted by Clara Barnes
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s showcase.
Submitted by Stephanie Rowe
Submitted by Lasting Generations Photography
Submitted by Sweet Louise Photography
Submitted by Kelly Miller Photography
Submitted by Sweet Louise Photography
Submitted by Jennifer Johnson
Submitted by Captured by Carswell Photography Submitted by Jessica Hemphill
Submitted by Megan Shoemaker
Submitted by Heidi Houser Photography
Submitted by Nicole Payseur www.shutterbuggerz.com
45
shutterscenez
Submitted by Chase Ward
Submitted by Find Your Shine Photography
Submitted by Don Anthony
Submitted by Find Your Shine Photography
Submitted by Andrea Spencer
Submitted by Jade Greiner
Submitted by Eddie Little Submitted by Julie Raper
46
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s showcase.
Submitted by Samantha Livingston Submitted by John-Andrew Lovins
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