Queen B August 2012

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A note from the editors

ABOUT THE COVER

Q. Do you plan to get more? A. Getting tattooed is definitely addicting, especially when I have so many talented friends. I’ve taken a lil’ break, but I’ll definitely be getting more work soon.

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Q. What is your most-prized possession? A. I’ve got books, movies and souvenirs I treasure lots, but I’m still working on making that 1974 Rickenbacker bass my most prized!

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Q. If you weren’t a kick-ass photog, what would you be? A. Well, thanks for sneakin’ in “kickass”! And if I weren’t a photographer and would’ve spent more time in school, I’d love to make movies or be a writer.

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Q. Who inspires you professionally? A. Photographers that inspire me are Ellen von Unwerth, Guy Bourdin, Cindy Sherman. I also love film and directors like David Lynch, John Waters, Quentin Tarantino and [Federico] Fellini.

Q. What’s the meaning behind the first and last tattoos you got? A. I don’t have any stories behind my tattoos; it’s a mood thing. Or I’ll like an artist and want to get something randomly.

AUGUST 2012

Q. What is the most memorable photo shoot you’ve done? A. That’s a really tough question because we’ve had so many memorable ones. Some really fun, others just funny circumstances. But there is one that sticks out quite a bit. It was emotionally charged because our client was a breast cancer survivor who had finished her rounds of chemotherapy and needed to feel “girly” again. Transforming her into a Marilyn Monroe-esque bombshell and celebrating this moment with her was a great experience for us and definitely emotional, as well.

Q. What’s your favorite drink? A. Whiskey Ginger

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Behind the scenes at our cover shoot

Q. Have you ever done one of these shoots yourself? A. I’ve never posed in a “pin-up” photo, but I have had a couple of photographer friends photograph me for bio photos. I definitely enjoy my life behind the lens more!

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Queen B was more than fortunate to be able to meet Janette Valentine and her team when she agreed to lend her talents for this issue’s cover. When we walked into her Miami studio, we were slapped in the face with vintage chic and kitsch. The entire space was a mid-century time warp, a fun and cheery space where record players, bombshells on vinyl and scattered high heels set the tone for an afternoon of frivolity. Janette’s team is a group of sex kittens whose appearances are just a cover for their mad skills. Even though they don’t work with clay or canvas, these ladies are all master artists; hair stylist Marilyn’s abilities with a curling iron are enviable; makeup artist Virginia’s talent with mascara and foundation are legendary; and wardrobe goddess Aurora is somehow magically gifted with finding clothing and wardrobe ensembles that came straight from the ’50s. Our model was a beautiful brunette

named Riki, a 39-year-old Miami journalist who agreed to model for Queen B, a fun aside as she was there to shoot pictures for her upcoming birthday party invitations. She was transformed from a city girl into a retro bombshell right before our eyes. Her look was something that seemed impossible for a regular person to pull off, yet the Terribly Girly team did so with such ease, you’d think they were just putting on lip balm: so effortless, so easy, so amazing. We love the look of mid-century women; sexy without ego, smiling ruby-red lips, black-as-night lashes and playful posing that is a far cry from today’s uber-thin, pouty poseurs. Janette, with her fading pink hair and giant camera, did the shoot in a matter of minutes, each picture she snapped better than the one before. The hair, the makeup, the clothing, the model and the photographer creating an unreal look that hopefully made you stop in your tracks and pick up our latest issue. So, enjoy what’s inside our pages, including sexy secrets we’ve teased on with the cover, a story about bringing your libido back, feminism through the ages, local profiles, money mistakes women often make and more. As far as getting the retro look for yourself, Janette Valentine and the Terribly Girly staff offer up themed shoots, the most recent of which being “Candyland.” Oh, and don’t worry about being shy; once you walk in the studio, you’ll feel as comfortable as we did, like you stumbled into a happy girl party. Visit terriblygirly.com and find them on Facebook.

QUESTIONS FOR OUR VALENTINE


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A non mom with no apologies BY MARCI SHATZMAN STAFF WRITER

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I never had kids of my own. I didn’t have a baby or raise a child full time, which always makes me stand out. People are suspect of women who don’t have children. They think we’re self-centered and incompetent to be left alone with their kids, like an addict who has to be closely supervised. In my defense, I baby-sat myself silly until I discovered boys. So I’m spectacular at walkee walkee with crying infants, and I know that kids are better behaved when their parents are out or they try to get away with murder. My sister let me take care of my niece the first week, and I did fine. So I knew all along what it meant to have kids — that your life is now about them and

DYNAMIC DUO Marci Shatzman and her husband, Brian Feldman, weren’t interested in adding a third wheel.

you have to put them first and yourself aside. If you don’t want that, you have no business being a parent. It wasn’t a tough decision, and I never agonized over it. My late best friend used to say I had too many male hormones, and maybe she was right. But not having kids was a conscious choice, or so I thought at the time. I was the first generation of women who made their own living and could make that decision. So for nine years, I had a five-hour commute to New York, working nights and weekends. My friends who made motherhood and careers work didn’t do day care. They had live-ins, taught school or, like me, had blended families with an adult who could always be there for the child. I bonded with my sister’s two kids and my

cousins’ and friends’ kids. My wonderful stepdaughter was already in school when I remarried 31 years ago. I found out that being a good stepmother means more like being a close aunt. She has her own mother, who I consider family and is still in our life. I had the advantage of lots of kids around me, like most people with no children of their own. If you could design your own child, it would be my stepdaughter. Now I’m a grandmother of two, and I’m insufferable. I carry photos and brag about them all the time.

But at 65, I realize I don’t have much in common with other women, and that’s why. When I bump into someone I knew in high school, she talks about child rearing and the groups she belongs to. As a journalist, we’re discouraged from joining anything, and I didn’t have to. So I have led a completely different life. Women have asked me over the years if I was ever sorry I didn’t have kids. They don’t understand why anyone would make that choice. I always tell young women that if they have to think about it, they should probably opt not to do it. It’s the one thing you can’t re-decide or give back. Most women, gay or straight, and men for that matter, want children, and they go to great lengths to have them. I found out at 55 that I could never have had kids anyway. I was surprised, but for me it always felt right.

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TOPICS

The ‘F’ Word BY BEVERLY LOMER, PH.D. CONTRIBUTING WRITER

In 1998, a Time magazine article asked the question, “Is Feminism Dead?” Today, the belief that we are living in a post-feminist era is widespread. Because of the gains in legal and institutional equality that were made over the past 40-plus years, there is an assumption that feminism is either defunct or no longer relevant. This way of thinking narrowly ignores the ongoing and unresolved issues we face today. There is also a fear of feminism in some — primarily conservative — circles. It is said to threaten traditional values and to perpetuate an outdated model of women as victims. Anti-feminists all too often rely on well-known, negative stereotypes that portray feminists as angry, anti-male, antifamily and unfeminine. The reality, however, is much different. While it is true that much has been accom-

plished, full parity between men and women remains elusive. Women are the primary victims of sexual and domestic violence. They make approximately 77 cents to every dollar earned by men. Even in families with two working partners, women carry the primary responsibilities for housework and child care. The objectification and commodification of female bodies continues to be a key component of the representations of women in the media and pop culture. Though there is no comparable organized liberation movement as occurred in the 1960s and 1970s, feminism is by no means dead. It just looks different. Feminists today are a diverse group in age, class and race/ethnicity, and feminism today is less formally organized and more personal. Advocacy now happens through technology, social networking and pop culture rather than marches and protests. Feminist organizations, especially those founded by young women, are more likely

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First Wave The First Wave Feminist Movement occurred in the 19th century and has been primarily associated with women’s suffrage. In this period, women had few legal rights or almost no opportunities to participate in the public sphere. Though suffrage ultimately became its main goal, First Wave feminism aimed at full parity with men in employment, education and religion. The First Wave developed out of its leaders’ work with the abolitionist cause. In 1840, Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott attended the World Anti-Slavery Convention in London and were outraged to learn that they were excluded from the proceedings because they were women. Galvanized to fight for women’s rights, they returned home and organized the first ever Women’s Rights Convention. The 1848 convention in Seneca Falls, N.Y., produced a “Declaration of Sentiments and Resolutions,” based on the Declaration of Independence, that included the right to vote, equality with men and full participation in public life. The fight for suffrage turned out to be a long and bitter road. In 1870, the Fifteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution granted the right to vote to black males but not women. This split the movement into those who believed in incremental progress and those who repudiated legal changes that did not include women. The crusade continued despite these differences, and under the leadership of Alice Paul, it took a more confrontational approach. Encouraged by her participation in acts of civil disobedience in England, she organized demonstrations and protests at home in the U.S., for which they were arrested and sent to prison. In

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designed to advance a particular cause than achieving the over-arching goal of gender equality. Feminism is actually a simple concept. I usually define it for my students as a commitment to ending the use of gender as a means of oppression. Historically, the various feminist movements have been described by the wave metaphor as three and possibly four distinct events. Though the first and second feminist waves have come to be defined by particular goals, the overall agenda of each of these movements was always more broad than suffrage in the First Wave and equity in education and employment in the Second. Third Wave feminism is a more loosely organized entity that seeks to build on the progress made by the Second and modifying it, as well.

FEMINISM FACTS

— Women now make up the majority of college students, earning degrees, including graduate degrees, at higher rates than men. — Women earn approximately 77 cents to every dollar earned by men. — Women make up less than 15 percent of top corporate executives. — Currently, women hold approximately 17 percent of the seats in the U.S. Congress, about 23 percent of elected state offices and only six governorships out of 50. — Today, the majority of women are employed, and approximately 77 percent of women with children work outside the home. — In families where both partners work, women continue to assume the majority of household and child care tasks. — According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network’s database, 14 percent of American women are raped every year. — Women represent approximately 85 percent of the victims of domestic violence, with male partners being the primary abusers. — The vast majority of those with eating disorders are women, with the highest rate of onset between the ages of 16 and 21. More than 90 percent of college women control their weight with diet, and 25 percent engage in binging and purging, according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.

1920, the effort finally succeeded with the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment. In 1923, Alice Paul introduced the Equal Rights Amendment. Though its best-known leaders were white, black women were also active in the First Wave. The ex-slave Sojourner Truth traveled widely to speak out on behalf of women’s and slaves’ rights. Poet and lecturer Ellen Watkins Harpur addressed black women’s rights at women’s rights conventions. Mary Ann Shadd Cary argued that black women were granted the right to vote under the 14th Amendment and successfully registered to vote in 1871.

Second Wave The 1960s were characterized by massive social upheavals and major social movements for civil rights, gay rights and women’s liberation. The catalyst for the Women’s Liberation Movement was the publication of Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique in 1963. Friedan, speaking primarily for white, middle-class women, argued in favor of more and equal opportunity for women in education and the workplace. Staying at home, she asserted, wasted women’s potential. Shortly after, the report of the Presidential Commission on the Status of Women (commissioned by President John F. Kennedy) was published. The report highlighted the widespread discrimination against women and lack of opportunity and added impetus to the emerging Women’s Liberation Movement. Though the Women’s Liberation movement has come to be identified with the fight for gender equity in education and work, Second Wave feminists also called for action on violence against women, reproductive rights, pornography and the sexual objectification and devaluation of women. Their efforts produced ground-breaking legal changes such as the Equal Pay Act of 1963, Title IX [1972], and Roe v. Wade [1973]. This era is also known for the 1968 Miss America Pageant protest in Atlantic City, where feminists planned to burn “instruments of female torture,” aka bras, mops, girdles, pots and pans, and Playboy magazines. Items were thrown into a trash can, but contrary to popular belief, no fires were actually lit. Though the most visible activists of the Second Wave were white, middle-class women, the movement was, in fact, more complex than that. The fight for women’s rights had its roots in the larger-scale social dissent of the 1960s and 1970s, and feminists worked alongside civil and gay rights activists to achieve social justice on many levels. Black women who were active in the civil rights cause became disillusioned by the implicit sexism of the black liberation organizations. Their discontent served as an impetus to feminist activism on their part, but their goals were not wholly compatible with those of the mainstream movement. While white women were concerned with breaking through the glass ceiling, black women lived a different experience in which they had no choice but to work and to devise creative family care solutions. From their perspective, gender was only one type of marginalization directed toward them as

women. Truly effective feminism, they argued, had to take account of the ways multiple and intersecting oppressions affected women’s lives. Third Wave By the 1980s, the daughters of the Second Wavers were coming of age. Although these younger women grew up with relatively equal opportunity in education, the workplace and reproductive freedom, they understood that full equality had not been achieved. Rebecca Walker, daughter of the poet Alice Walker, reacting to the backlash against women and feminism that was rampant in the ’80s, wrote in 1992, “I am not a postfeminism feminist. I am the Third Wave.” Walker’s manifesta became a rallying point for Third Wave feminism. Responding in part to the challenges posed by women of color, this wave adopted the view that women’s lives were not defined solely by gender but by race and class, as well. Championing diversity was a hallmark of their agenda. On the grounds of diversity, they rejected elements of the cultural critiques of the Second Wave. They embraced pop culture, girliness and sexual positivity, and reclaimed words like slut. They challenged the Second Wave’s negative views of pornography and sex work as utterly negative. For this generation, feminism was personal, multifaceted, individualized and flexible. Fourth Wave Is there a Fourth Wave? Well-known Third Wave activist and writer Jennifer Baumgardner suggests there is. She identifies Fourth Wave feminists as women now in their 20s and 30s who are taking the agenda of the Third Wave to another level through technology and social networking. More comfortable with gender diversity and influenced by the openness fostered by social networking, they seek to meet the specific needs of modern women. Feminism Today Feminism today is a reflection of the complexity of modern society. It is personal, independent and flexible. Technology and social networking are fundamental to its methods. Feminists recognize that gender intersects with a myriad of other social and cultural factors. As opposed to a coherent movement with specified goals, contemporary feminism is characterized by diversity in its adherents and a multiplicity of coalitions and activist organizations that address the full spectrum of women’s lives in the 21st century.


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The WRITE frame of mind What handwriting reveals about your personality BY KARI BARNETT

On the yellowed pages of a small, black, leather-bound notebook with the word “Record” stamped in silver on the cover are the penciled-in musings of a young woman. She uses seven lines on the top of page 10: “I can and will help myself and work on things analytically no matter how painful — if I forget things (the unconscious wants to forget — I will only try to remember) Discipline — Concentration.” The words slant slightly to the right, and there are wide-open spaces between each utterance. Some words start off with a heavy hand, while others fade into light at the end. On page 11, just two lines at the top are used: “my body is my body every part of it.” The t’s are sensibly crossed in the middle, and the i’s are dotted directly above their stems. The tops of the m’s are rounded, and there are no loops on the y’s. A graphoanalyst, a person who studies handwriting to analyze character and personality traits, would most likely say the author of this notebook entry has trouble relating to others as evidenced by the large

Staff photo by Kimberli DiMare SCRUTINIZING HER SCRIPT Linda Caldwell of Boca Raton gives a writing sample while attending the handwriting class taught by Certified Graphoanalyst Ann Bedinger (not shown) at the Delray Beach Public Library.

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gap between words. They also may say this is a caring person who tends to follow their heart because of their right-slanting sentences. And what about only using the tops of the pages? Well, that’s the area of goals and ambitions, so it would seem that the author is consumed only by what she plans to accomplish. Do these personality traits sound like those of a certain blonde bombshell who gave us The Seven Year Itch and told the world that Gentlemen Prefer Blondes? Yes, the analysis you’ve just read is one of Marilyn Monroe’s notebook entries from about 1955 when she worked with acting coach Lee Strasberg. But graphology is not only a fun hobby for those looking for a window into the inner workings of their favorite celebrity — or their significant other — it also has practical uses, from hiring a new employee to battling a court case. Minding Their P’s and Q’s Locally, the mother-daughter team of Anne Bedinger and Betsy Patterson are graphoanalysis gurus, uncovering people’s personalities through their handwriting for more than two decades. Bedinger recently taught a class on the subject at the Delray Beach Public Library’s Lifelong Learning Community Institute. All the attendees were women — something that didn’t surprise Bedinger. “Women just seem to be more interested in learning about personality,” she said. A graduate of Virginia Polytechnic Institute with a bachelor’s in finance and a minor in English, Bedinger later became a master certified graphoanalyst through the International Graphoanalyst Society. She provides handwriting analysis through her website, DiscoverHandwritingSecrets.com, offering services such as compatibility reports for team building, personnel hiring decisions and promotions of current employees. She said graphoanalysis is an ideal tool

because it provides an unbiased personality profile without regard to race, gender, religion or age. “It’s used as a supplement to other testing for the hiring process,” said Bedinger, a Delray Beach resident who’s also vice president, investments for Raymond James & Associates in Boca Raton. “In America, 5,000 corporations use handwriting analysis.” A Brief History of Graphology For hundreds of years, Chinese scholars have been using handwriting to determine a person’s character, according to the Handwriting Research Corporation. Camillo Baldi, an Italian doctor of medicine and philosophy, published the first known book on the subject in 1622. But it wasn’t until the 1870s that Frenchman Jean Michon coined the term graphology. Since that time, thousands of works have been published on the subject in medical, educational and psychological journals, the Handwriting Research Corporation reports. The Write Stuff A person’s handwriting is as unique to them as their fingerprints. No matter the way in which a person gets it done — using their hands, feet or teeth — much can be revealed about their character by the shapes and patterns of their writing, graphoanalysts claim. “It’s essentially brain writing; it all has to do with the nerves,” Bedinger said. “As our personality changes, our handwriting changes, but it’s not overnight.” One of the most important characteristics graphoanalysts look at is the slant of a person’s sentences. “And it doesn’t have anything to do with what hand you use,” Bedinger said. Leaning to the left means the person is introspective, centered means they’re objective, and leaning to the right signifies an empathetic and possibly impulsive person. For example, Bedinger said she often sees

Staff photo by Kimberli DiMare DID YOU KNOW ... That many self-made millionaires cross their t’s in a loop? So, get your pencils out and start loop-de-looping.

divorcees’ writings slant to the left because they are in the “taking care of me” phase in their lives. They also take into account the amount of pressure the person puts on the page. Do you have dark, heavy handwriting? Well, you’re someone who “absorbs emotions like a sponge and holds grudges,” Bedinger said. A “light” writer probably has an easier time releasing his or her emotions. And size matters, at least in the world of handwriting analysis. Small writing tends to mean the person is able to concentrate and pays attention to details. Next time you’re choosing an accountant, you’d be wise to pick one who writes small, Bedinger suggested. Cross the T’s, Dot the I’s So many different personality characteristics are revealed in the way a person crosses their “T” bars. T’s with the bar crossed low on the stem is often seen in young girls who are still setting goals for themselves, Bedinger said.


TOPIC

Staff photo by Kimberli DiMare DEAR MR. PRESIDENT It’s no surpise that the handwriting of Barack Obama, shown here, reveals he’s honest and blunt and has a healthy ego.

AUGUST 2012

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The Writing’s on the Wall It takes a melting pot of personalities to make the world go ‘round, and Bedinger stresses that it’s not about whether someone’s writing is good or bad. “We need everybody’s traits and then as a whole it makes for a good team,” she said. “We need to understand and appreciate the different. Everyone has roles they are good at. We’re not trying to change someone.” While the use of graphoanalysis is important to many businesses, medical and legal professionals, and even the police, it’s perhaps the personal use of the skill that hits home with many people, including Bedinger and her mother. “Handwriting analysis helped us to achieve our loving, unconditional relationship we share today,” she said.

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Penmanship Perils: Cursive vs. Print In the era of the Internet, it seems like only a matter of time before people’s penmanship takes a turn for the worse. We’re typing and texting, not looping and swirling. It’s enough to make that grade-school writing instructor of yours cringe in disgust. Couple that with the fact that many schools are erasing cursive classes from the curriculum, and we’re facing a handwriting apocalypse. Bedinger said studies have been done using high school yearbooks from the 1950s to the 2000s to back up the theory that cursive is on its way out. Print reigns supreme these days, the studies claim. Who cares, right? Well, it shows a shift in connectivity in our society, she said. Basically, we’re really disconnected, even though we always seem to be connected through phones or computers.

Long gone are days when a family sits down at the dinner table to connect. And it seems our writing mirrors that shift. On a side note: Ladies, be wary of a man who writes in all capital letters. He’s may be someone who craves control. For example, convicted murderer Scott Peterson wrote in all caps. Printscript, a blend of cursive and print writing, is an indication of above-average intelligence. Are there breaks in between your letters? Then you can label yourself as being intuitive or having a sixth sense, so to speak.

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Lower case t’s crossed high on the stem, such as those present in former U.S. senator and astronaut John Glenn’s writing, reveal a visionary or a daydreamer. Many self-made millionaires cross their t’s in a loop, showing a type of persistence to find their way around obstacles to achieve what they want to do, she said. And what about teenage girls who dot their i’s with hearts, bubbles or smiley faces? “It shows they want to be different — that they’re artistic and creative, Bedinger said.


TOPICS

5 money mistakes women make BY NADIA SOROCKA

STAFF WRITER

Not all women make financial mistakes, but for those of us who do, many of them stem from our individual personalities and responsibilities, said financial planner Carol O’Neil, owner of CEO Financial Service in Lake Worth. And addressing these mistakes can help us better plan for our lives and lifestyle, she said. Here are five money mistakes women often make and how to deal with them:

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Lack of a budget – O’Neil said this one goes across the board no matter age, gender or race. She said most people have an idea of what they spend each month but don’t have a clear annual budget. Sur-

prises often happen when you don’t plan for the year. Budgets also help you realize where your money is going and how much is being spent.

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Not being educated on proper financing – “Often I will find that my clients have their money invested in the wrong types of accounts or just don’t have a clue what they are investing in,” O’Neil says. Or maybe they are in a relationship in which their partner takes care of the finances. Whatever the case, educate yourself. When O’Neil advises a couple, she makes sure to focus on the person who isn’t interested or doesn’t know much about finances. We don’t like to think about it, but you never know what may happen in a relationship. You could get divorced or be widowed, and then the finances will fall on your shoulders.

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Lack of planning for ourselves – In most cases, women don’t tend to think about retirement until they are 55, and then it’s, “Uh oh, what am I going to do?” O’Neil says. Her recommendation: Start as early as possible. It is a lot easier to save $100 a month than $1,000. Most people are not sure what they will need to maintain their lifestyle once they are retired. If you are used to running your home with an income of $60,000, that means you will need to save at least $1.2 million for retirement.

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Not knowing how to say no – We all know the scenario. Often women go without so their kids/partner/family can have. O’Neil says there needs to be a point where you say no. “I have had clients who worry about being burdens on their adult children as they get older. Yet they are taking care of those adult children and tapping into their savings to do so,” she says. O’Neil suggests if you have adult children at home, make them help take care of the bills, too. If they were on their own, they would have those responsibilities.

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Thinking we have to do it all by ourselves – It is OK to look for help. Often once we get into a money situation, we are afraid to ask for help. So you made some mistakes along the way. Embrace how you got into your position, and learn from it. Find a financial planner or adviser, and go from there. Oftentimes, it is a lot easier to get back on track than you think, O’Neil said. Carol O’Neil has been in the financial industry for more than 25 years. CEO Financial Services, 8461 Lake Worth Road, Suite 129, is an independent financial group that values developing relationship with its clients in a friendly atmosphere. Call 561-389-1227 for more information or to set up an appointment.

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Let’s hear it for the mujer! Modern Latina named a pioneer BY NADIA SOROCKA STAFF WRITER

Nelly Rubio, who was named the 2012 Latina Pioneer of the Year by Hispanic Women of Distinction, has always seen the importance of serving the community, and throughout her life, she has volunteered with various organizations at all levels. “I have wanted to be involved in the general community as a Hispanic,” she said. “When we serve all in the community, the better the community is for all of us, no matter our background.” A native of Cuba, Rubio immigrated to Miami with her family in 1962. “We left everything when we came over,”

said Rubio, who was a child at the time. “All we could bring was three pairs of clothes and our shoes.” Her family’s life was different in America, as both her parents needed to work to make ends meet, but she saw this strong work ethic as determination — a lesson she has carried her whole life. “Determination is something we are taught as Hispanic women from our families,” she said. “We are taught by our madres and abuelas to be fearless, good problemsolvers and resourceful.” Rubio uses these skills on a daily basis in her job as the community relations director for WFOR-Ch. 4 (CBS Miami), where she has worked since 1989.

directors. “This program has helped thousands every year,” she said. “It shows how the media can serve the community and be a conduit of community service.” Rubio has also been involved with other South Florida nonprofits. For the past nine years, she has been involved in the Education Fund, a nonprofit organization that supports teachers at local public schools; the Miami/Fort Lauderdale affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure; and for the past four years, she served on the Big Brothers Big Sisters Hispanic Advisory Council. “Our purpose is to increase the number of Hispanic mentors in Miami,” she said. Rubio said a Latina pioneer is “someone that serves and encourages others to do well. She has a good balance between professional and community service.” Rubio will receive her award during the 11th annual Charity Award Luncheon for Hispanic Women of Distinction on Aug. 17. The luncheon, which honors 13 Latinas who have made a significant contribution in South Florida, also benefits the Light of the World Clinic and the Latina Student Scholarship.

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“I act as the liaison between the station and the community,” she said. “I help nonprofits who are interested in getting involved with the station one way or another. I also help the station to meet all broadcast RUBIO FCC [Federal Communication Commission] requirements in serving the public.” One of her proudest achievements is founding the station’s nonprofit organization, Neighbors 4 Neighbors. The organization started as a relief effort in the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew. The heart of the effort was a heavily promoted phone bank that “would allow us to put people in need with those who wanted to help,” she said The station’s management originally intended the effort to help only storm victims, but Rubio and volunteers felt the concept was an effective means of serving the community. Instead of letting the program fall to the wayside, she took on the responsibility of turning the effort into a nonprofit organization with its own staff and board of

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save yourself, so get your financial house in order NOW! Have a family member or trusted accountant work with and help you adjust to your suddenly single status, and create a budget before you find yourself in a hole you can’t dig out of. Alimony and child support are not what they used to be, so prepare to get your own paddle in the water to pay your way and help to support your children. If you are lucky enough to get some type of support, don’t squander the opportunity. Instead of spending money on shoes and a new bag, invest in your future. Take some extra classes, or go to school to acquire a better job or career to secure your financial future on your own terms.

Children, Be Sure To Act Like Grownups Children will do as well as their parents do. They are watching you closely, so suck it up, and be the adult. Spend the time and money to help everyone settle into a new normal family configuration. Make an effort to include quality time with your kids to just have fun.

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Reality check The “Disney Dad” syndrome is something you will have to deal with. As the mom, you will likely be the one who is the drill sergeant — dealing with homework, car pools, illness and discipline. Dad will likely be the one who gets to have fun with them on the weekends and spoil them with gifts, junk food and time to have enjoyment. They will likely love “dad time” and take you for granted. It’s the way it is, but in the end they will hopefully appreciate what you did for them.

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Be sure to never: —Treat them like they are your friends and complain how hard your life is. Talk to a friend or therapist instead, and protect their childhood. —Complain about their dad. Children will feel like it’s an attack on them because they know they are part of both of you.

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Female bodybuilder keeps flexing BY COREY SIGGINS

Many women pride themselves in living a basic healthy lifestyle by eating properly and pursuing a fitness regimen. Parkland resident Trish Mazzeo has gone high octane by shaping her body into an enviable physique shimmering with finely sculpted muscles. It is this impressive appearance that has earned Mazzeo, 49, various awards as well as the admiration of trainers, family members and friends who have watched her progress. “It’s a passion I have and something I love doing. It’s also gratifying when I go to the gym and women my age stop me to ask, ‘How do you do it?’” Mazzeo said. “In the long run, though, it’s all about staying healthy and keeping myself in the best shape possible.” As a sophomore at Virginia Tech, Mazzeo found herself studying numerous fitness magazines.

Mazzeo is no couch potato. Opposite page: At 49-years-old, Mazzeo proves that having a killer body is all about determination.

with weight training, sometimes by unconventional means. “I remember when Rich owned a Hummer, and we would push and pull the Hummer down the parking lot,” she said. “At first I didn’t think I would be able to do it, but it’s amazing what you can do with your muscles if you possess the warrior spirit. It actually became my favorite exercise,” Mazzeo said. Mazzeo mainly competes in the “Figure” category, where contestants are judged by a combination of fitness and beauty elements. “In terms of beauty, you wear a jeweled bikini, and get your makeup and hair done,” Mazzeo said. “Besides that, judges are also looking for wide shoulders, a tapered waist and definition in the back and legs. I have to work on symmetry in order to achieve those qualities.” Between competitions, Mazzeo maintains a rigorous daily workout schedule, which begins with getting up early each morning and per-

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forming 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise before work. After work, she then heads to the gym for weight training. Diet is also important in her regiment, so Mazzeo typically has six small meals throughout the day consisting of protein-rich foods such as chicken, egg whites, turkey, and fish along with healthy carbs and fats like vegetables, brown rice and nuts. “Many people don’t realize that it is not just proper training and conditioning to get your body into excellent shape, it also comes down to good nutrition, hydration with water and

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“I would stare at pictures of [bodybuilder] Rachel McLish and other women and think to myself, ‘I want to do that,’ ” she said. Mazzeo enrolled at the Lighthouse Pointbased Fitness Institute International, a personal training school. She graduated in 2002 as a certified personal training specialist and obtained her CPT certification with the National Strength and Conditioning Association, allowing her to become a qualified personal trainer. In 2010, Mazzeo took another step in her evolution by deciding to enter a fitness competition for the first time. “It was a personal challenge to me,” Mazzeo said. “The biggest thing I had to work on was my fear that I wouldn’t be able to do it. Once I worked on that fear, the rest became easy.” Mazzeo exercises at One to One Fitness in Coral Springs under the guidance of trainer Richard Alvarez when she’s in competition mode. It was here she underwent a strenuous program combining cardiovascular exercise

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rest,” she said. “Protein is an especially important macronutrient because it helps to maintain the muscles.” Just as Mazzeo’s diet gradually changes in the weeks preceding a competition, so does the frequency of her exercising. She admits that balancing fitness preparation with her work and home life can be a challenge. “There have been times that I just wanted to come home and do nothing because I’m exhausted, but I work to overcome those feelings,” she said. “Especially when I have a competition, I have to concentrate on staying focused. My boyfriend, his two children and my other family members and friends are very supportive of me. Having that support base is very important.” Mazzeo hopes that women who have not adopted a wellbalanced diet and regular exercise will take a cue from her or other fitness role models and begin to do so down the road. “It’s important to take a proactive approach and make it a personal responsibility to stay healthy in an effort to avoid disease and to have a more enjoyable life,” Mazzeo said. To help others, Mazzeo has been conducting at-home fitness training throughout Broward and Palm Beach counties. Many of her clients are women in their 40s, 50s and 60s. “I have my clients train with various pieces of equipment such as balls, bands and dumbbells and then end their session with cool-downs and stretches. I also provide information about proper nutrition and help them plan their diets,” she said. To schedule an at-home training session with Mazzeo, contact her at 954-415-5454 or trainwithtrish@bellsouth.net.

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“IT IS A LOT EASIER TO GET OUT OF BED AND RUN WHEN YOU HAVE A HOT GUY WAITING FOR YOU AT THE END OF THE DAY.” — HEATHER SMITH

Ladies can have their men and dismiss them, too The desire burned in my mind to know if sex was part of the $5,000 price tag. But I realized that getting to first base meant first finding out what type of woman pays that kind of money for a weekend date. Smart, beautiful and powerful, Broward Countybased Cowboys 4 Angels owner Garren James says of his clients. They are very busy women who have no time or inclination for the dating scene, James said, adding that his clients seek the companionship of his escorts for a variety of reasons. Many women are looking for a well-mannered gentleman to accompany them along their travels. They are hired for work events, weddings, dinner and sometimes merely to make someone jealous. A lot of planning goes into finding “Mr. Right Now,” with screenings to determine which companion is suitable for the client and event. Role-playing does occur, and a script is often provided in advance. This business is all about the women, but James said these gentlemen for hire are often equally as pleased to see the return of a familiar face. Heather Smith, a 39-year-old manager of a Fortune 500 e-commerce company, speaks openly about the positives of dating “professionals” as opposed to “civilians,” as she refers to them. With no Mr. Right in sight and failed attempts at fertility treatments, Smith found herself gaining weight and losing

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BY BETH BLACK STAFF WRITER

dating skills. Hiring an escort was an alternative to the norm with a lengthy list of attributes, including “no drama and no disruption to life.” Smith said it has been “a great weight-loss tool.” Rewarding her milestones with dates, Smith said, “It is a lot easier to get out of bed and run when you have a hot guy waiting for you at the end of the day.”

I was hooked at hot, but the package got more appealing as she described the men as “handsome and highly engaging.” Finding them to be strong motivation for both her personal and professional life, Smith said she determines her companion based on her needs for the week. When faced with an intense meeting-filled week, Smith schedules a date with a particularly aggressive escort

who fires her up. There is also a particular go-to guy for those times when Smith needs a more soothing effect. Vin is the man who “knows what a woman needs” and makes Smith feel “relaxed, calm and pretty.” A charming, handsome and attentive man who responds adequately to emotions? How does one not get attached to such an anomaly of a man I inquire? “This is not something for the jealous type,” Smith advises. “Don’t kid yourself that these guys are ever going to be your boyfriend.” It often requires an emotional check, and boundaries must be established. Not seeing the same man too often is one way Smith maintains a distance, and phone numbers are never exchanged. When asked if she had intentions to return to “civilian” life, Smith said she could see herself moving in that direction soon. The men have provided a fun and useful tool in losing weight and building confidence, and Smith has taken control of the show. Tommy, the 35-year-old corporate salesman turned escort, confirms that “it is all about the woman.” He describes himself as a humble guy who truly wants to make his clients happy. Tommy, the father of a young


INTIMACIES

THE GUARANTEE OF SATISFACTION PIQUED MY INTEREST, AS I EXPLAINED TO JAMES THAT FOR THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY, I WOULD CERTAINLY EXPECT SEX. for sex.” He maintains that his clients are looking for a handsome, charming and well-mannered gentleman to enjoy in a no-strings-attached environment. It is made very clear that sex is not being bought. James does, however, offer the analogy of the pizza delivery guy: “Say you order a pizza and have paid for the pizza. The pizza is your purchase, and if you open the door and sparks fly with the delivery guy, well then, that is something different.” James’ main goal is “to make people happy one client at a time.” All signs seem to indicate that Tommy and his other companions are indeed succeeding at making women like Smith feel special, happy ending or not. Save a horse, get a cowboyboy at www.cowboys4angels.com

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daughter, said he turned to this business after the economy began to fail and would not have done it without the consent of the child’s mother. He has maintained a relationship with a woman for 10 months despite his work, and he indicates that he has no intentions of a career change any time soon. There was a lonely period of adjustment for him with a lot of travel to accommodate the many appointments, but Tommy confirms he genuinely “gets excited” when he sees that certain clients have booked him. Tommy makes it clear however, that “if numbers are exchanged, it is no longer business.” He said feelings do get involved because everyone is human, but it is a job; he is loyal to his company, and every exchange goes through James. The dates are anything but mundane. Smith said she tries to plan them based upon the personality of her escorts. Dinner and massages are among the norm, but Smith said she had been planning a NASCAR Experience for one, and one of Tommy’s regulars took him on a cross-country road trip. All the arrangements are made through James, who said every measure is taken to provide the perfect companion and safeguard the client. A follow-up phone call is made to guarantee satisfaction. The guarantee of satisfaction piqued my interest, as I explained to James that for that amount of money, I would certainly expect sex. “Well that would just be illegal,” James informed me. “Any woman can walk in a place and find an opportunity


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You could drop $50 on a thong from Agent Provocateur in Bal Harbour or get a Brazilian bikini wax, but nothing tells your lover you’re willing do whatever it takes to get their love engines running quite like getting a designer vagina. Labiaplasty is a popular procedure — it’s in such high demand that South Florida-based Dr. Bernard Stern gets 80 to 100 emails a night through his website, Labiaplastysurgeon.com. The surgery, which reduces large or uneven labia, is particularly popular among women in their 20s and 30s. “The average patient I do this on is 28 to 30,” Stern said. “And it completely changes the woman’s life. In many cases, the woman has been unhappy with the way she looked for a long time.” Stern explains it’s more than just reducing the size of a large labia. “A common concern is asymmetrical labia. One side develops minimally, and the other side could be 3 or 4 inches big,” Stern said. Vaginoplasty, or vaginal rejuvenation, is another surgery that’s growing in popularity. It restores a woman’s vagina to a prechildbirth state. Stern said the average prebirth vagina is two fingers across. After multiple childbirths it can increase to eight fingers. “The average age of my vaginal rejuvenation patients is 38, but I’ve done the procedure on a 21-year-old who had an 11-and-a-half-pound baby,” he said. Stern said vaginal beautification or rejuvenation is not medically necessary. “It’s a want,” he said.


INTIMACIES

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INTIMACIES

Q&A with a SEXPERT Q: Why is it OK for women to read porn (Fifty Shades of Grey) but act all freaked out about watching it? — Nate B., Oakland Park A: Dear Pop in the DVD: Well, the issue with watching porn is that most porn is geared for men. Fifty Shades of Grey was by a woman and geared for women. The other aspect that draws women to dirty books is the story. Let’s face it; we love a good plot. So if you want to watch porn with that special lady in your life, try something geared toward her interest. Here are some hits to check out with your lady: Chemistry, Jenna Jameson Is the Masseuse or Real People, Real Life, Real Sex Series. They all have stories for the lady and visuals you will both like.

Q: I’ve never used a sex toy before. What is the best one to use? — Magaly R., Tamarac A: Dear Ready To Play: I am huge advocate for sex toys. No, I don’t see them as a replacement for the real thing, but they can be a great addition to a healthy sex life. And they can be a lifesaver in a long-distance relationship — ask any military wife. So, where to start? I think the bullet or egg are great first toys. They offer great clitoral stimulus, act as a great addition to fingers and are small enough to hide anywhere in the house. Plus, they can be fun with a partner. Many offer varying speeds and styles that will let you experiment without getting too crazy, and maintenance and cleaning are easy. A great website that is both informative and easy to navigate is AdamEve.com.

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Good luck, and have fun. Q: I’m a full-time working mom who does most of the housework. I’m exhausted by the end of the day, and I need a good night’s sleep to recharge. Is it reasonable for my husband to wake me up in the middle of the night and expect sex? — Natalie R., Wellington A: Dear Mrs. Just Say No: Is it reasonable to ask your husband to have sex while he is in the middle of doing something he really likes? The answer is maybe. But we wouldn’t do it because chances are, we will get the answer: not right now. What you might need to do is schedule sex. I know it doesn’t sound very sexy, but it will make you both happier. Perhaps instead of the middle of the night, try early in the morning when you are more refreshed and ready to go, or just before bed so you can pass out in orgasmic bliss. Either way, if he does it again, tell him he has lost his mind and to go back to bed.

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Naughty Nadia discusses the ins and outs of sexual behavior.

Q: Recently over a couple drinks, my boyfriend and I discussed recording or taking photos during foreplay and sex. At the time I was all for it, but now I have some reservations. Do you think it is a good idea? — Amy S. Coconut Creek A: Dear Lights, Camera, Action: Taking your own boudoir photos or recording your self can be fun. Yes the photos might not be perfect, and the angles might be scary, but there is something interesting about being able to see yourself in the heat of passion.

Random acts of sex Men who help with housework tend to have more sex.

Hint, Hint!

During 30 minutes of active sex, the average person burns approximately 200 calories.

The Earth could be repopulated to its current level using the number of sperm that could fit into an aspirin capsule.

The average length of an erect penis is 5 and 6 inches, and the average size of a flaccid penis is about 3.5 inches

Women who read romance novels have a tendency to have twice as many lovers as those who don’t.

According to the Kinsey Institute, the average speed of sperm during ejaculation is 28 mph.

There are about 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.

The vibrator was originally designed in the 19th century to combat the anxietyrelated symptoms of “hysteria,” now known as menstruation. A woman is more likely to want to commit adultery during ovulation than at any other time in her cycle.

The key is trust. Make sure you and your partner agree what will be done with the evidence, and follow through. Good luck, and remember, lighting goes a long way. Q: Is secretly watching porn considered cheating? — Felicia R., Boca Raton A: Dear Watch Away: No, it is not cheating. Porn can be a healthy part of our lives. Now, the real question is: Why is it being done in secret? Is it to hide the amount of time spent watching? Is it because there was a mutual agreement in the relationship not to watch porn? All I will say is it is OK to watch porn but not OK to feel like you need to have secrets. Q: I sometimes think about other people while having sex with my husband. Is that normal? — Joan A., Highland Beach A: Dear Mrs. Imagination: The word

Condoms were first noted in published literature in the early 1500s. The original condoms were made of linen, and historians believe the legendary lover Casanova used them.

“normal” when it comes to sex is such a tricky thing. I think imagining other people can be healthy and add a little spice to a humdrum sex life. Our brain is our best sex organ, and often we use it during sex to think about what we need to do after sex. I give you props for using that imagination to your benefit. As long as it stays to sometimes, I think what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Q: What constitutes a woman being labeled a “cougar?” Is it the age difference between the man and woman or the merely the woman’s age? — Anonomous A: Dear Ms. Grrr: It is a combo of the two. In most cases, a “cougar” is a woman who is 35 to 40 (depends who you ask) who is looking to date a man at least 10 years younger than her. Here in South Florida, the cougar seems to be doing quite well, so happy hunting; I hope you get those cubs, ladies.


SOUTH F L O R I D A’ S

QUEEN B

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INTIMACIES

BRINGING BACK THAT LOVING FEELING Wendy Wolf (whose name has been changed to respect her privacy), 62, of Boca Raton, a slim, attractive blonde with green eyes and the ability to still turn heads, is vivacious, pretty and popular. Attracting men is never a problem. Men find her pretty, sexually desirable and vie for her attention. Married three times, the first at 19, Wolf, the mother of two grown children and the grandmother of one, is now single and liking it. Since the advent of Facebook, past paramours and former husbands have come a’ courting. Although happy to see them and socialize, Wolf has no desire to enter into a sexual relationship, despite their persistent attempts to woo and bed her. “At 62, my libido has petered out. I have no interest in sex, and the thought of it, especially with an overweight, middle-aged man, has no appeal. If he was a hot 20-something with a taut six-pack, I might consider it,” Wolf half-jokes. Wolf is not alone. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder IV, there are four official categories of female sexual disorder: hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or decreased sex drive; arousal disorder; female orgasmic disorder; and genital pain (dyspareunia and vaginismus). HSDD, first identified in the 1970s, is a common disorder affecting 43 percent of women (or 40 million women) and 31 percent of men between the ages of 19 and 59, according to the 1999 National Health and Social Life Survey, a survey of sexual functioning among men and women in the U.S. A hallmark of this disorder is an ongoing and long-term loss of desire to the point it interferes in relationships and causes stress or interpersonal difficulties. Certain medications, including SSRI antidepressants, birth control pills and anti-hypertensives, may suppress sex drive. If a woman is unconcerned about her loss of libido, it is not classified as problematic.

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BY JAN ENGOREN CONTRIBUTING WRITER

“For a sexual concern to be considered a medical problem, it must be associated with distress, so it’s important to assess this in both research studies and patient care,” said Dr. Jan Shifren, a researcher at Massachusetts General Hospital in a study she coauthored in the November 2008 issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology. The study, known as the PRESIDE Study, found that of the 40 million women affected by the disorder, only 12 percent admitted to problems that caused distress. Women ages 45 to 64 were most likely to report a distressing sexual problem (14.8 percent), followed by those ages 18 to 44 (10.8 percent) and those older than 64 (8.9 percent). James E. Clark, OB/GYN and medical director of the Central Florida Female Sexual Dysfunction Clinic, said women’s sexual dysfunction is more complicated than men’s. While men typically suffer from mechanical issues, they can take medications that increase blood flow to the area (think Viagra, Cialis, Levitra). Women’s sexuality is more involved. “Increasing blood flow to the clitoris is not the answer for women,” said Maureen Whelihan, OB/GYN and sexual health expert at the Comprehensive Women’s Medical Center in West Palm Beach. “Women’s No. 1 sexual complaint is low desire. And in women, there are many environmental factors influencing our desire. Desire starts in the brain. We need to focus research on how to stimulate the sexual centers of desire in the female brain.”

Said Clark, “There is a difference between pre- and post-menopausal women. In premenopausal women, dysfunction may be rooted in the brain or associated with family and psycho-social dynamics; is she stressed at home, dealing with kids or taking antidepressants. In postmenopausal women, the reality may be tied to loss of hormones, which decrease as both women and men age.” Whelihan, who writes an online healthy sex column for a Palm Beach Post blog, is an advocate of hormone therapy for “those who need it.” She said low sexual desire in women has many factors, taking into consideration physical changes, relationship status and social, psychological and cultural mores. “It’s much easier to treat post-menopausal women, as the reason is usually hormonerelated,” she said. “In women younger than 29, we look at mood disorders or stressors at home. I have been known to take out my prescription pad and write a prescription for official R&R time for the patient. It’s not uncommon for women to go through periods of low sexual desire, depending on environmental circumstances. Sexual desire ebbs and flows.” The most important thing for women to know is that it’s OK to talk to their doctor about sexual complaints, and if the doctor is not receptive or is uncomfortable, the woman should find a sexual health expert. Resources for finding sexual health physicians include the professional society, the

International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISWWSH.org) and the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT.org). Since the advent of Pfizer’s Viagra in 1998, and other erectile dysfunction drugs for men, the search has been on for the “little pink pill,” the female version of “the little blue pill.” Clark said it’s “unfair” that most of the research is focused on men. “It’s been 14 years since Viagra came out, and there is still nothing for women,” he says, although many pharmaceutical companies are spending millions in the hopes of coming up with the next blockbuster drug. With the potential to make billions, some products are in the pipeline. Pharmaceutical company BioSante has a product called LibiGel, a transdermal testosterone gel for the treatment of HSDD, which is in Phase III clinical development. They hope to obtain FDA approval and go to market next year. A Proctor and Gamble product, Intrinsa, a trans-dermal testosterone patch is in use in Europe but has not been granted FDA approval in this country. “The FDA standard for lifestyle drugs is higher than for drugs that treat disease,” Clark said. “This is a challenge for pharmaceutical companies.” He points to rejection of Flibanserin, a compound created by Boehringer Ingelheim, as a non-hormonal drug treatment for HSDD which failed to win FDA approval but has now been sold to a new pharmaceutical company, Sprout, which hopes to have more success in bringing it to market. Stanley Althof, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Center for Marital and Sexual Health of South Florida in West Palm Beach, is an advocate of the search for a female counterpart to Viagra. “Patients come to me in real pain and distress,” he said. “They’ve lost something important to them that interferes in a relationship with someone they love. Anything that can help these women achieve a more satisfactory sexual experience is a good thing.”


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From her local Re/Max office, Prestige Realty in Palm Beach she is involved in many community activities and is a member of the local real estate board. Having handled all aspects of real estate and all personality types she confidently states, “I don’t list homes….I sell homes, If you are ready to sell your home, whether above or below on market value I can get it done.”

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She has helped many families save money and guided them through a stress free real estate experience. She can do the same for you.

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Realtors like Tanya Abiela Bless has seen this all too often and that is what drives her to work for her clients. She has been a realtor for the past seven years with one of the leading firms in the country, Re/Max. Having gained experience through hundreds of negotiations, she remains dutifully committed to her clients, providing personal and customized attention to each one.

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MichelleAmeerally is the owner and Artistic Director of Broadway Kids Studio, a Performing Arts Center in Davie. Michelle has a Bachelors in Music, from the University of Miami’s School of Music, and has been performing, teaching, and directing in South Florida since 1998. She created Broadway Kids Studio, an educational-based center, where kids could become well-rounded performers. BKSoffersclassesinsinging,acting,dancing,and instruments and produces over 7 musicals per year. For more information on upcoming shows, auditions, or classes please visit www.BroadwayKidsStudio.com or call us at 954-693-7500.

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Broadway Kids Studio

Michelle Seidle

Michelle Seidle is a true Floridian born and raised in South Florida, has been a licensed Realtor since October 1975. Her successful 37 years of real estate knowledge, expertise and experience, includes serving the Miami Dade, Broward County and Orlando Markets. Michelle, a 16 year Weston resident has been focusing her business in the Weston and surrounding Broward areas since 1996. Her success is based upon numerous referrals & repeat business from many satisfied clients. Michelle is committed to always providing superior service to all of her customers.

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Pamela F. Miller, MCMS, PA-C, is a board certified physician assistant who practices at the Weston Center For Plastic Surgery, Inc. Ms. Miller is also a faculty member at Barry University, Miami Shores, FL. She earned her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from the University of Colorado at Boulder in 1998 and her Master of Clinical Medical Science and Physician Assistant certificate from Barry University in 2004. Ms. Miller is experienced in cosmetic, medical, pediatric and surgical dermatology, providing personalized treatments for disorders of the skin, hair and nails. Her areas of expertise include Botox, Dysport, Restylane, Juvederm, Radiesse, Perlane, laser vein and hair removal, sclerotherapy for spider veins, chemical peels, treatmentofMelasmaandRosacea,andMinorsurgicalprocedures including mole removal and earlobe repairs. Appointments can be made by calling (954)384-8300. Pamela is available Monday through Friday 8:30 to 5:00.

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QB OF THE MONTH

HONORABLE MOTHER Judge works to help kids get on the right path BY ALYSSA CUTTER

STAFF WRITER

Star Nails

LEE IS BACK!!!

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In 1997, the Outstanding Mother Award from the Healthy Mothers-Healthy Babies Coalition of Broward County went to a woman with no children of her own. But she has done more than enough for distressed kids and young adults in South Florida to qualify her for the role. The Honorable Melanie G. May, 60, is chief judge of the Fourth District Court of Appeal in Palm Beach County, a Florida

native and longtime board member of the Youth Automotive Training Center in Deerfield Beach. Before joining the appeals court in January 2002, she spent 11 years as a judge on the 17th Judicial Circuit in the juvenile delinquency division, where she heard about the Youth Automotive Training Center, a tuition-free, nine-month training program that helps disadvantaged youths get back on track by learning about automobiles. “The one thing that is different as opposed to other programs is this is a supportive community for those who attend here,” said May, who has been a board member since 1994. “In this program, they address kids who didn’t get it right the first couple of times. This is a last chance for some of them to get on the right track and have a future,

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Congratulations, Judge Melanie G. May! and I wanted to be a part of that.” Every year, 30 spots open for young adults ages 16 to 21. The program teaches students about cars, helps them work toward getting a GED and instills life skills. The private program operates on a $1.4 million budget. Community Relations Manager Hillary

Gurman said all those funds are raised in one annual golf tournament, which was May’s idea. “She has done so much for this program,” Gurman said. “You can tell her heart is to help the young adults of the school succeed in life.”

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May’s primary role at YATC is to organize volunteers for the Jim Moran YATC South Florida Golf Tournament in Plantation. Since she is a sitting judge, she’s unable to be more involved, but during her years as a judge in the juvenile system, she has recommended many kids to the program and seen most of them successfully complete it. Growing up in Fort Lauderdale and graduating from Florida Atlantic University in 1973, May didn’t know she wanted to be a judge until her second year of law school at Nova Southeastern University. She had become interested in law at FAU and decided to go back to school after teaching business at Saint Thomas Aquinas High School for a few years. “I didn’t really know I was going to be a lawyer,” May said. “I just liked the subject matter. But I had to figure out what I was going to do. Then I appeared in front of a panel of judges from the Fourth District Court of Appeal, and I thought, ‘I want to be one of them.’ Everything I did after that was to prepare myself for that job.” After getting her degree in 1981, May spent nine years working for a private practice in Fort Lauderdale. Then in 1991 she

started in the juvenile court system. “[At first], I hadn’t a clue what I was doing,” May said. “But I found there that even though we have a number of failures for a variety of reasons, when you really can make difference in a kid’s life, it’s very rewarding.” In 1995, May took over the Broward drug court, which won national praise for rehabilitating offenders rather than sending them to prison, but also continued to work part time in the juvenile courts — a post she wasn’t willing to give up yet. But then the call came in October 2001 from former Gov. Jeb Bush, who appointed her to the appeals court — her dream job. Now in her 11th year on the job and first at chief judge, May has kept her ties to YATC, even though she now works in Palm Beach County, to keep herself grounded in the community and to continue to help young adults. “I wasn’t with the right guy at the right time to make [having my own children] happen,” said the twice-married May, “but being a judge in the juvenile court, sometimes you’re the only stable thing in those kids’ lives, and I’m glad to have been able to help them in the way I could.”

MIGHTY MAGISTRATE Judge May is a true defender of children and a powerhouse in the community. Queen B salutes her as our inaugural Queen B of the Month.

W W W. J O S I E S R I S T O R A N T E . C O M

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BEAUTY

Scent of a woman

The science behind body chemistry and your perfume BY JOANIE COX

STAFF WRITER

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Perfume is really a very lyrical luxury. When described in scientific terms, there are top notes and bottom notes, and the top notes can form chords in the fragrance. But why is it the same fragrance smells different on each person? The staff at Queen B has pondered this since we were little bees on the school bus spritzing Jean Nate on ourselves. Dr. Jennifer Logan, assistant professor of chemistry at Washington and Jefferson College in Pennsylvania, teaches a course on perfume chemistry with a colleague in the college’s French department and has organ-

ized student trips to learn about the perfume industry in France. “There was a recent study published in March on the psychology of fragrance,” Logan said. “People seem to choose perfume that goes well with body odor, not mask it. Everyone has a different body odor, so that causes it to smell differently. Our skin has its own scent due to genetics, diet and gender.” Climate and body temperature can also affect fragrance. Evaporation happens faster in warmer climates, and this impacts the scent. “Top notes are what we smell first in a fragrance, and they evaporate quickest,” Logan said. Tania Sanchez co-authored Perfumes: The Guide with her biophysicist husband, Luca Turin. “Skin chemistry seems to interact most with top notes,” Sanchez said. “I heard a

perfumist in France say, ‘Top notes are what makes you buy a perfume, and base, or heart notes, are what keep you coming back.’ ” In her course, Logan’s students create their own perfume and learn how scents are extracted from nature and created synthetically in a lab, as well as analytical techniques to discover what’s actually in perfume. “Chanel No. 5 seems to be the most famous fragrance and the one that’s always cited in articles,” Logan said of the iconic fragrance that debuted in 1921. “While Chanel No. 5 is still around today, it’s most likely not the way it smelled in the beginning. I’m not sure if this is true of Chanel No. 5, but old perfumes might have used chemicals that are now known to be carcinogenic or incorporated musk obtained from animals, a practice now limited by law. This why old perfumes might not smell the same as their modern versions.”

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EATS

Sweet EATS

The art of wooing gets redefined at Meat Market Miami Sexy Vibe Below left, Sean Brasel is the executive chef and co-owner of Meat Market Miami. Top, from the raw bar, Brasel recommends the oysters, which come with a side dish, above.

BY JOANIE COX STAFF WRITER

There’s a certain finesse one has to exude when taking a date out for a romantic night. The atmosphere has to warm and not intimidating. The food has to be flavorful without being overly filling, and the libations have to be lovely. Falling in love at the dinner table can get tricky, but at Meat Market Miami on Lincoln Road, romance never tasted so good. Queen B caught up with the talented Sean Brasel, executive chef/co-owner of Meat Market, and asked him to share his recommendations on the ultimate menu for a truly magical dinner date.

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Staff photos by Todd Roller

What foods would you recommend from Meat Market for a seductive meal that’s

filling without leaving you feeling bloated? “I think the tuna tartare and the kobe tartare are perfect dishes because their flavors are really unique and tantalizing, but since they are crudos (raw), they are lighter and leave you feeling satisfied but not stuffed. The kobe tartare is prepared with white truffle, which is a decadent coveted treasure, and the tuna is with ginger, avocado and mango mole — great unique tastes but light.” What are the worst food choices to eat on a date? “Heavy garlic dishes.” What cocktails/wine would you recommend for the perfect date night? “We have an extensive cocktail menu, and my favorite drink is I Love Gold, tequila, a

pop of cinnamon, citrusy Mandarine Napoleon, sweet honey and a brown sugar rim. That or a half-bottle of wine works great.” What type of dining experience does Meat Market offer than you can’t get at any other restaurant? “We offer a five-star meal in a sexy and bustling environment with the availability to order half and smaller portions than most steak places.” What is the sexiest food you have ever prepared/eaten? “I once did a photo shoot where a naked girl was my canvas on which to create my dishes. Everything I prepared that day was completely sexy.” If you’re out on a date with a foodie but don’t have as sophisticated of a palate, what are some foods you should order to fake your way through it? “Look for the unique and unusual menu items, and go from there. Foodies tend to try the uncommon and adventurous dishes. Some key ‘foodie’ ingredients are truffles, foie gras and pork belly, to name a few. At Meat Market, I would recommend trying the char-grilled oysters, the kobe sliders (they’re burgers with white cheddar and foie

gras) or white truffle beef tartare.” If you want to impress your date, what dessert should you not skip? “The world of dating knows most women love tiramisu and chocolate. So ordering the chocolate lava cake and an espresso martini is key.” What do you recommend from Meat Market’s raw bar for the ultimate evening out? “I love the smaller oysters with the truffle yuzu mignonette, and our daily ceviche is always fresh and amazing.” How would you describe the atmosphere/ vibe at Meat Market Miami? “It’s sexy, sophisticated with a sizzling energy and great bar scene, yet at the same time, it’s very comfortable and warm.” Can you really win over a man’s heart through his stomach? “I’m not an expert on hearts, but a great meal will definitely win over a man initially. After dinner, the rest is up to her!” Meat Market Miami is at 915 Lincoln Road in Miami Beach. Call 305-532-0088 or visit Meatmarketmiami.com.


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EATS

In South Florida, It’s Always Bikini (Pie) Season

Raise a Spoon (of Granola) for Charity

Nikki Marchelos enthusiastically proves that the warning “a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips” doesn’t apply to Nikki’s Bikini Pies, the 1-year-old dessert company that’s guilt-free. Marchelos believes that living a healthy lifestyle shouldn’t be a flavor sacrifice. Nikki’s Bikini Pies are made with allnatural, organic ingredients and are fewer than 110 calories! Culinary background: At the age of 13, I helped out at a family business in midtown Manhattan. After school, I would walk across town every day after school, and I would watch my uncle prepare the meals for the restaurant. Also my brother, Stavros, trained in Italy and taught me how to combine herbs and spices for cooking and baking. My father-in-law is European and worked on the navy ships, so he taught me how to prepare healthy, tasty foods for catering and restaurants on a larger scale. What inspired you to start your own business: Being a mother and advocate for healthy fast food and organic when possible. I was always looking for healthier choices and decided to create my own business out of the need to feed my family healthier fast food. Business/ culinary idol/role model and why: I love the recipes of Rachel Ray... I am inspired with the natural/ organic cooking of many chefs, and Giada De Laurentiis is a favorite, as well. Biggest accomplishment to date: The creation of Nikki’s Bikini pies and selling them to the prestigious Whole Foods Market. What makes your product different: My pies are 100 percent natural and organic — no fillers binders and never have any preservatives. It’s also unique because of the 8-ounce serving size in a grab-and-go container. It’s convenient and easy to eat. Products available at: Whole Foods Market locations in Fort Lauderdale, South Beach, Coral Gables, Plantation, Aventura, Pine Crest, Miami, Pembroke Pines, Boca Raton, Wellington, PGA and the west coast of Florida, and The Beach Café, 2 Commercial Blvd., Lauderdale-by-the-Sea. Price: $6.99

Only a year old, Laurie’s Pantry is making a splash at local farmer’s markets and specialty stores with a product line of more than 30 flavors of granolas and mueslis. Owner and creator Laurie Landgrebe is committed to not only making the world a tastier planet but a better place to live. With specialty flavors such as the Pink Panther for breast cancer awareness groups and Rainbow Pride for gay and lesbian foundations, giving back to the community has never tasted so good! What inspired you to start your own business: The idea for Laurie’s Pantry was born when I was looking for some good, healthy granolas and mueslis for my boyfriend and I for breakfast. Most of what I found was stale, boring flavors, over-sweetened and loaded with artificial ingredients and preservatives — almost inedible. So when I started making it myself, my creativity exploded. Culinary background: It has been my hobby, and I have been cooking my whole life. I worked for a variety of restaurants and a caterer in college. Business/culinary idol/role model and why: I think in the culinary space, I admire all those home bakers out there who turned their grandmother’s recipe into a major business empire. Ben & Jerry’s was definitely an inspiration for Laurie’s Pantry to convert a category with few flavors and really shake it up with flavors no one would have though of for that line of product. Signature/most popular item: Within the 30-plus flavor portfolio, a few like Health Nut and my original flavor, Basic Breakfast, [are] really selling. My Keep It Moving is another popular flavor, which really does the trick and even has a toilet seat on the label! Everyone really loves the seasonal and holiday flavors, as well, such as Irish Coffee, Easter Basket, Witches Brew, Fruitcake and Hot Chocolate. What makes your product different from others: Laurie’s Pantry granolas are all made with the highest-quality organic ingredients, multigrain, low sugar and baked fresh with no preservatives. Products available at: Farmer’s markets in Dade and Broward counties and select gourmet shops. Price: $10

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GETTING A SLICE OF PIE

Meet local women who planted the seeds for success BY LOUISE HENDRY

CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Mother Knows Best In 2004, Davie mom Sharmila Melwani was not happy. The cookies she ordered for daughter Liana’s first birthday were anything but special enough for the big day. The cookies for Liana’s second birthday party would be better, as Sharmila (better known as Shar) had been inspired to start creating her own cookies that weren’t just delicious but also playful artistic creations. Cookies by Shar has transformed over the past eight years from a home-based hobby into a successful wholesale and consumer business. Today, Cookies by Shar are on sale at Whole Foods Market locations in Florida, Miami Beach’s Epicure Gourmet Market, resorts in Orlando and the Miami International Airport. What inspired you to start your own business: I have always admired people that are artistic and creative ... [a side of me] I did not explore until I had my daughter. Culinary background: I have zero culinary background, but I did watch a lot of Food Network and read a lot of cookbooks. Business/culinary idol/role model and why: Mrs. Fields and Martha Stewart. Mrs. Fields, aside from being beautiful and very smart, is also a great businesswoman. Martha Stewart inspires me with her creativity [and] is also very intelligent and savvy. What was your big break? Being discovered by Whole Foods. It took a long time before I actually made it in [to the stores] because there are a lot of guidelines. When I went to drop off samples, they were ordering holiday cookies. At that moment, they decided to go with mine instead. It was kismet! Signature/most popular item: My sugar cookies are my best seller, but I do have a signature chocolate chip cookie on a stick. Best advice you ever received: Do not ask for advice! If you want to do something, just do it and make your own rule. What makes your product different from others: We use premium ingredients. [Signature sugar and shortbread cookies are natural and organic. All cookies are made using real butter rather than shortening, and a homemade glaze is used instead of fondant]. Price: $3 to $6.


ELITE HAIR & NAILS • Hi- Lites • Permanent Waves • Precision Hair Cutting & Styling • Spa Manicures & Pedicures

NEXT TO GLICK’S KOSHER MARKET

(561) 865-2133

COME LINDA, F VISIT OR OWNER MER O SHAMPO F O PLUS

www.elitehairdelray.com

B ENNINGTON West CARPET & TILE

“Best Flooring Store” in Boca 2009 & 2011

$ 99

From

Delicious Fast & Fresh

making appt. Must Present Coupon Exp. 9/15/12 • 1st Visit Only

Tues. 9-1:30 • Wed-Sat 8:30-5 Oriole Plaza • 7267 W. Atlantic Ave. • Delray

Stylist with following needed

1

• Gel & Acrylic Fills Haircut and Style or • Shellac Nails FREE Manicure with Full Head of • Facial Waxing Highlites & Body Waxing VALID TUES, WED & THUR (w/Vianey, Marie, With Select Stylist Must mention coupon when Suzy & Patricia)

We Specialize in Hair Coloring

UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP

la’s Ange

5 Off

$ 00

Angela

Sq. Ft.

Remnants! • Restretches / Repairs

Min. 20 sq. yds. Stock Colors Only

Mon. - Fri. 10:30 AM - 6:00 PM • Sat. 10:30 AM - 3:30 PM

Remnants!

561-488-1333

Remnants!

We have weekly specials & with coupon will give

$

the company for women Independently owned

Anew You

We Are Your Local Avon Store

5.00 Off

of a purchase of $25.00 or more. This location only

You can buy more for less with Avon products.

954-718-4400

Hours: Monday - Thursday 10am to 5pm • Friday 10am to 6pm Saturday 10am to 4pm • Sunday Closed

561.558.1234

Learn your favorite dances. Teaching Salsa, Tango, Hustle, Swing and more American Dancesport Center

Purchase of $20 or more

With this coupon. Not valid with other offers. Offer expires 9/15/12

ORIGINAL OR TERIYAKI CHOP-CHOP (REG) WITH SODA

With this coupon. Not valid with other offers. Offer expires 9/15/12

OAKLAND PARK ONLY CLOSED SUNDAY

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

OAKLAND PARK NORTH RIDGE SHOPPING CENTER 5071 NORTH DIXIE HWY. OAKLAND PARK, FL 33334 954-267-8644

MON.-SAT.10:30AM-9PM OPEN SUNDAY LAUDERHILL - UNIVERSAL PLAZA 5415 N. UNIVERSITY DR. LAUDERHILL, FL 33351 954.572.6620 • 954.572.6665 PLANTATION TOWNE SQUARE 6985 W. BROWARD BLVD. PLANTATION, FL 33317 954.583.4947 • 954.583.5349

37

www.AmericanDancesportCenter.com

With this coupon. Not valid with other offers. Offer expires 9/15/12

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23076 Sandalfoot Plaza Dr. Boca Raton, Fl 33428

of $12 or more

SOUTH FLORIDA QUEEN B

Schedule a complimentary private lesson. Take the first step, and we’ll do the rest!

3 off % 20 off $ 99 4

Any Purchase

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Prepare to Dance for Cruises, Events and Parties

With this coupon. Not valid with other offers. Offer expires 9/15/12

AUGUST 2012

6710 N. University Dr. • Tamarac, 33321

Conveniently located at SE corner of McNab & University Dr. at University Commons Shopping Center

With Purchase of 2 Beverages (Of equal or lesser value)

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Located at:

Buy Any Meal & Get The 2nd Meal FREE

SOUTHFLORIDAQUEENB.COM

23074 Sandalfoot Plaza Dr. Boca Raton (next to Western Beef) • Sandalfoot Square • All Major Credit Cards Accepted

FREE MEAL $


BOTOX $199* 30 UNITS *Crows feet or between brows ows *New patients only

Special Latisse Offer

Buy 1 get 1 FREE

The Cosmetic Facial Limited Time Offer!

Filler Specialist

Elaine’s Winner BEST GIFTS 2010 & Again in 2011! Thanks, Boynton Beach!!

Dr. Bruce Myers has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS AND FOX News shows. He has performed over 100,000 cosmetic injections and counting…

RESTYLANE • RADIESSE • JUVEDERM • SCULPTRA SILKON 1000 • EVOLENCE • PERLANE • BOTOX • RELOXIN

NO FRILLS PRICING: $495 PER SYRINGE ANY FILLER. All Facial Areas Injected Right! Dr. Myers knows there is a definite artful skill to proper injections and over the last 15 years he has undoubtedly mastered it. He is one of the few injectors to be named Diamond Status and Plantation 5 Star Status from the filler manufactures.

Bruce Myers, MD FACS

SOUTHFLORIDAQUEENB.COM

| AUGUST 2012

| SOUTH FLORIDA QUEEN B

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Please visit us for your greeting card & special gift needs

20% OFF

Any Regular-Priced Item Excluding Greeting Cards & Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments. 1 per customer. Must present coupon. Expires: October 31st, 2012.

561.391.9661

2900 N MILITARY TRIAL • BOCA RATON

In Boynton Beach Since 1994

WE CARRY: • Swarovski • Jim Shore • Precious Moments • Nao by Lladró • Annalee Dolls • Thomas Kinkade • Snowbabies • Lolita • Willowtree Angels • G. DeBrekht & Much More!

(561) 736-5391 3707 Woolbright Rd. Boynton Beach (in the Publix Plaza, corner of Woodbright & Military Trail)

Please Visit Our Other Store in the Boynton Beach Mall. (561) 736-8189.

Hair Divine Salon Presents:

RELIEVE • RESTORE • REINTEGRATE Dr. Sandra R. Gotman • Dr. Jacob Silverstone 25 years of foot and ankle care using state of the art evaluations and treatments.

Taking off your shoes should be your choice Heel Pain

Fungal Nail

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Foot & Ankle Sprain

Bunion & Hammertoes

Foot & Ankle Fracture

400 Arthur Godfrey Road Suite 508 Miami Beach, FL 33140 P 305-672-8768 F 305-6728769

11760 Bird Road Suite 616 Miami, FL 33175 P 305-229-9595 F 305-229-9596

www.miamifootandankleinstitue.com

Senior Specials! ((Sundays, S d TTues & Weds) W d )N New C Customers t

Hair Cut (Men/Women)........ $15 & Perms .................................. $60 & Highlights (Men/Women ...... $45 & Color (Men/Women)............ $35 & Blow Dry ............................. $15 & Special! (Haircut/Blowdry/ $ Color/Hi-Lites - Short Hair) ...

up up up up up

95!

Hours: Sundays 12 PM – 4 PM Tues/Sat opens @ 9 AM 910 No. Congress Ave., Suite -130 Boynton Beach, FL 33426

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www.palmbeachdiva.com


EYEGLASS Designer Frames WEARHOUSE $from

Anniversary BLOW OUT EVENT!

The Only Wholesale Outlet In South Florida

Kid’s Frame $ & Lenses from

6995

For Polycarbonate

With coupon. Expires 8/31/12.

Frame & $ Lenses from

9995

For Progressive

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With coupon. Expires 8/31/12. PRICES IN SOUTH FLORIDA

1000’s Of Designer Frames

Fra & $ Frame 95 Bifo Bifocal from Len Lenses For Clear Bi-focals

49

With coupon. Expires 8/31/12.

Violet Filter 3995 FR FREE Ultra and Scratch Coat

Frame & $ Lenses from

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With coupon. Expires 8/31/12.

SHADES*BLINDS*DRAPERIES*SHUTTERS

FASHION IN MOTION SALE

w/complete pair of eyeglasses w/c w/coupon at time of purchase. Expiration: 8/31/12 w/cou

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www.eyeglasswearhouse.com

PRESCRIPTIONS FILLED - LENSES DUPLICATED

SE Corner of Hillsboro & Military Behind the Chevron Station Mon • Fri 10:00 - 5:00 • Sat. 10:00 - 2:00

THE BEAUTY CLUB HAIR - SKIN - NAILS

Celebrating 20 Years!!!

Call for membership info.

14560 S. Military Trail Suite B-1 Delray Beach,

HYPNOSIS

100 REBATE ON EVERY

$

OFFER EXPIRES 9-7-12

For Questions, Appointment or Always FREE Consultation

Call

954-434-6637

1073 NE 44th St., Oakland Park, FL

39

openhouseinteriors.hdspd.com

HOURS Mon - Fri 8:30am - 5:00pm

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The patient and any other person responsible for payment has the right to refuse to pay, cancel payment or be reimbursed for payment for any other service exam or treatment which is performed as a result of and within 72 hours of responding to the advertisement for the free service, exam or treatment. Hypnosis is not a substitute treatment for medical diseases or mental illness.

Open House Interiors, Inc. 954-771-1277 Since 1988

SOUTH FLORIDA QUEEN B

HUNTER DOUGLAS POWER RISE MOTORIZED SHADE

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• Monday thru Saturday Appointments Available

DR. SHERWIN MENDELL DR MENDELL, D.C. DC

FREE IN-HOME CONSULTATION

AUGUST 2012

• 23 Years Same Location

We Repair All Types of Shades and Blinds.

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SOUTH FLORIDA QUEEN B

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AUGUST 2012

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SOUTHFLORIDAQUEENB.COM

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