FOLIO ISSUE 1

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id you know Manila is considered the selfie capital of the world? No surprise. We take way too much selfies (admit it, for every ten selfies you take only one goes online). We developed a fascination over photographs, us Filipinos. But what exactly is so amusing, so satisfying, with coming up with the perfect selfie? It’s not a question one can simply answer. But breaking it all down, one can say bluntly: Selfies are used as a means of self-assurance—a way of telling ourselves that we look good enough.

SELFIE means a lot, especially to our generation. It could be a simple photo-op that each and every one is addicted to or it could be that one word that describes all the positive and negative side of the new gen. Call it cliché, it is what and who we are. But with all the challenges that life puts in our plate, is selfie just a simple word that represents us or is it a quadrilateral-like-multifaceted-structure that makes us complicated?

If we could go back in time, cellular phones are only used for calling and texting, taking photos is a luxury and not a need, our lives doesn’t depend on what we see and what is dictated in social media, where stereotype is just a type and sarcasms are bad: wouldn’t you think life would be much simple? I bet half of my allowance on it, yes!

The next question in my mind is, if life is simple then isn’t it boring? I mean come’ on, we are human beings (not a robot) and we like a little bit of zing in our lives. We are always curious (like a fouryear old child) and it is good. If Bill gates isn’t curious, then we wouldn’t have Microsoft, if Mark Zucherberg isn’t curious, then there wouldn’t be Facebook (and so many more). Selfie really entails so many negative traits, like being selfish, boastful, arrogant, annoying (everything you can think of) but even if you sum up those negativities it wouldn’t be equal to all the positive things that represents us.

For the change complacent folks out there, this is my call to you: Life and people evolve.

Remember the theory of evolution by Charles Darwin, from cave man we were able to hone our skills that made us the modern man. Evolution is good, as long as it makes people happy. And if that happiness is measured by the amount of selfies on social media, go grab your friends, stretch that mono-pod, open-up your favorite picture-app, smile and upload. #totheproudSELFIEgeneration!

Krisstal P. Ocampo Editor-in-Chief

It’s remarkable how humans have the ability to distinguish and determine different facial expressions and interpret them. With this knowledge, there is a certain undeniable appeal with capturing the perfect expression, and using that perfectly-timed picture as a façade, a gateway to our personality. It is statistically proven that people consider facial features quite heavily on their scale of physical attractiveness. It’s what humans are programmed to do, being social creatures and all. That’s why we are so obsessed with selfies. Aside from using it for our own self-satisfaction, it’s also used as a social tool. It’s like a wordless book, our stories are told on the pages yet they’re always open for interpretation.

I remember skimming through random people’s selfies to which my friends and I would make up stories (some ridiculously absurd, some pretty dead serious), and our only basis are their self-taken photographs. In the end of our silly conversation, we concluded that the people behind these photos have stories of their own.

We would never know if the ones we dubbed them with are actually precise, but we know for sure that these people face similar predicaments, enjoy similar blissful experiences, but every situation differ. What charmed me is that, so many impressions could be harvested by just looking at a person’s photo. What if selfies can be used as an instrument to know the person’s current state? What if stories can be told using these photos?

On the next pages, you would encounter different tales inspired by people’s selfies. You’d be amazed by the extent and depth we reaped from them. Maybe, you could even relate with them. Who knows, maybe we’ve predicted your story accurately. Maybe you’d find yourself between these words.

I’m just going to conclude this foreword with one particular word:

Enjoy.

Taryn Antonella D. Gonzaga Literary and Leisure Editor P.S. Please be informed that you are beautiful. You can never deny that, otherwise you’ll just be lying to yourself.

and I rolled on the ground for four times! (The heck, I was really embarrassed!). Everyone started laughing even my P.E teacher and my friends (ridiculous right?), at that very moment I prayed to God, crack open the earth and devour me whole. There is this another instance when I was a college sophomore, I just attended a debut party of my friend not realizing that it is Sunday and the next day we have our midterm exam, so there I go I entered the classroom light-headedly (because literally, I was not able to study any lesson), took the exam papers and just scribbled on it. Another prayer to God, but again, it is not that he is not listening but I know He cannot do anything about it, since it was my fault.

It’s been… Wait let me check, it has been an hour now and I cannot seem to grasp any word to fill this empty sheet of paper glaring back at me. I For the worst cannot seem to find inspiration these past few days, my thoughts are clouded Let us confess, most of the time we are ‘too good to be true’. I have and I am not at my best as of the moment, so please bear with me as I redo had my fair shares of those instances as well (believe me). I remember an this. instance, I have one of my friends talk to me about her love problems (the usual, boys, boys, boys), so there, she thinks that her boyfriend is cheating on Take 2 her. But since I am a good friend I did not tell anything negative to her so she Alright, now I am much better, ok so let us start. will not be upset. I gave her with the best advice, let the guy be on his feet, I know you are a bit confused on what I am blabbering earlier, do trust him since I know for a fact that they are in love with each other (even the not mind it, it is just an example of how my brain works during the wee hours boy seemed to be not the type of guy you want for your friend), I made it of the morning ha-ha (apologies if you don’t find it enthralling). So by the seem that their love will keep them together withstanding all odds. After a way, let us go back to what I am trying to say earlier, the reason why I started week, they broke-up, the boy is a ‘two timer’. I knew it, the guy was a cheat, that way is to challenge our world. The reality that we had been lingering but I am too dumbfounded not to tell the truth, not to tell what I really see and since the time of who knows when (one form of my joke again), theres always feel. this question since time immemorial; what if we could reshoot, redo, reformat, reproduce or recreate (and any transitive verb you could think of) Keep it as it is our lives. Like a second take. Will you change it for the better, for the worst After giving you with a few bits of my life, it is fair enough that I or do it as it is? could choose which one to do right? Well for me, if I could have a second take on my life, I would rather keep it as it is. We are responsible for For the better ourselves; we are adults with critical and liberal minds. We are capable of I will not be a hypocrite, there are those moments in my life that I understanding any situation and we are given with brain cells to react to the wish that the ground will open and devour me alive (seriously!), since I am in stimuli. Of course it is given that we would want some adjustments, but we the mood for good old sharing, I will be giving you with few examples (mind had already thrown our dice and made our moves. There is no going back at you these are humiliating, but since it is already done, there is not much I can this point, (especially when you have already at this part of my essay) after all do about it anymore). I remember way back in high school, our physical it is reality. And in reality there are no cameras and flashing bulbs but just education class requires us to get body mass index (height, weight, reach, ourselves and how we make the most of it. long jump high jump and every torture I could think of) and the last leg is to jump the longest that you can. So there I go, I ran for about 10 meters before ****************** assaulting to mid air when I saw my crush walking towards our direction, I And cut… good take! lost composure I jump just a few inches away from the start line, I stumbled P.S: Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

What Makes You Beautiful A.C.

People either automatically evade or smile whenever they see a camera in front of them. For whichever reason, smiling is an automatic response of each of us in different circumstances. We smile when we’re happy, satisfied, pleasured, and any other bright outcomes in our life. We even smile when we see the people that hurt us suffer, but let us stick with the positive side of smiling, shall we?

One time, I was asked by a friend: Who are those people that are beautiful and those who are ugly in my perspective? I pondered it over, and thought of who are those that are beautiful for me. Is it people that have fair-skinned, and fancy hair? Or people with pretty clothes, and is wearing make-up? I just shrugged and said, for me, beautiful people are those that knows how to be happy and smiles a lot. Plain and simple. I don’t define a person’s beauty through their looks and appearance. Whenever I see someone smile, a genuine smile, I automatically say that that person is beautiful. He or she becomes even more attractive if their personality matches the brightness of their smile that they show to people they encounter. While, when you accused someone of being ugly, you just basically insult God and believe it or not, you insult yourself also because God created us in His image and likeness. So, who are we to say that somebody is ugly? Only ugly people will, right?

I don’t know why, but there’s this amazing thing that smiles can bring us. It symbolizes happiness and joy. It signifies contentment and satisfaction. God created our lips to make or break, to hurt or protect, and to give joy or sorrow to people. It’s your choice, frown all you want and have wrinkles, or smile and make others smile also?

1... 2... 3... Smile!

(Say smile and we will give our best shot) Kathleen Cates Taking our generation by storm, taking pictures became the new craze. What’s so fun and captivating with self-portrait photographs? Is it not the smile itself?

1... Smile and sweep the clouds away.

Smiling creates a relaxing mood which in turn helps us make better choices and solutions. Because it is the expression of an inner bliss, it comes naturally and spontaneously. It is also contagious to light up the room and change the moods of others. A smiling person brings happiness with them and helps the people around to forget their problems even for a while.

2... Smile for a healthier life.

Smiling boosts the immune system, lowers the heart rate, reduces stress, kills pain, and helps us live longer. As it relaxes the body, it also relaxes the heart. When the brain interprets we are smiling based on our facial muscle, it releases endorphins (the body’s natural pain killers) and reduces cortisol (the stress hormone). No wonder how relieving it is to smile and laugh when you hurt from a sudden fall!

3... Smile for a better you.

Smiling helps you to stay positive and productive. It shifts your perspective for good as well, as how it does with others.

Research shows that it builds up our good relationships with those whom we share our smiles. It even earns success too!

Those who smile regularly are more likely to be attractive, approachable, and advantageous. They are open to new possibilities and changes. They tend to be more favorable than those who frown a lot.

Smiling proves to hold the reasons we smile. It is the act of smiling that captivates our soul.

1... 2... 3... Smile! And give life your best shot!

Day 1

things. Thank God I’m rich. Cause if not? Then, I won’t be able to have “Good Morning ladies and gentlemen. Our plane is about to fun here. I went back to my apartment thinking how am I going to spend take off. May I request everyone to please turn off your mobile phones my last day here.

Perhaps go shopping again? It’s not a good idea. and fasten your seat belts? Thank you!”, flight attendant said.

Why don’t I grab coffee and some sweets at coffee shop like the Yes! I’m so excited to go to New York! I’ve never been there girls I saw earlier today? It’s not worse than shopping. What if I set off to before. What does it looks like? I heard that New York City is the largest Los Angeles, California? Then visit the Hollywood? Isn’t that a good city in the state of New York and in the United States. It is my dream to idea? Oh my gosh! I haven’t seen Hollywood in my whole life. I had seen travel in one of the biggest and most powerful states in the world. And it on photographs. That’s all. There’s a chance that I’ll meet my favorite this is my first day! Actually, I was given only three days of vacation. Hollywood actors. I can’t wait anymore. That’s it. Tomorrow, I’ll depart After three days, I have to go back to the Philippines for some reason. By for Los Angeles! Wait for me LA! the way, I am Agatha Therese Fernandez, 18 years old. I am the daughter of the CEO of a famous telecommunications company in the Philippines. Day 3 Well, not just that. Our family also owns the famous clothing line in the “Welcome to Los Angeles, California!” country and all over the world. Oh wait! Did I tell you that at my young That’s what I said to myself. California is the third largest state age, I’m also a gorgeous and famous model of our company? I’m well in USA. Also, Los Angeles is known as the motion picture capital of the known not just here but also in other places. We also have a hundreds of world, and the most populous city of California. If New York is the resorts in the Philippines. I even can’t remember the rest because we own largest city, Los Angeles is the second largest city in America. a lot of businesses. Well, I’m not boasting. I’m just being true to myself I passed by cute townhouses and took a picture of them with my and to you. I’m so young, you know that. But maybe you’ll ask me why camera. I will really treasure my memories during my stay here in am I travelling despite my young age. I do what I want and I get what I America. If I can just extend my vacation, I’ll probably do it. But since I want. If I want to go somewhere, I can go. Nobody stops me from doing can’t, I’m left with no choice. Since this is my last day and later I’ll be what I want. I study in an exclusive university where in only the elite off to the airport to go back to the Manila, I’ll make the best out of my students can be accepted. The dean of the university happens to be my last day.

After some time, I arrived at the Hollywood. I took a selfie uncle. So he always makes a way to cover me up for my absences. They usually tell me, “No one is above the rule”. I just stare at them and say wherein the background are the letters that make up the word Hollywood. “except me.” That’s the reason why I want to go out of town for me to It was a great picture in this beautiful place. The air smells like falling relax and have some time alone. Everybody hates me. For sure, they’re snow and baked cookies from the townhouses. I really want to stay here just insecure. As the saying goes, ‘If someone wants to bring you down, for the rest of my life. But then again, I can’t. Maybe, you’ll ask why I it’s only a proof that you are above them’. Okay, so much for an can’t. Besides, I’m rich and I can afford to stay here all by myself. You introduction. Well, you already know me and some of my personal really don’t know me. You will know later. background. And now, what I want is to unwind and forget the people Not too far from my place, I saw a tall guy with spiky blond hair who hate me. I’m really excited to see New York. and dark blue eyes wearing a white shirt covered with a black coat. He is Exactly 3pm in my watch, I finally arrived in this fabulous so cute. I suddenly felt my heart beating so fast as he walked toward me. place. I guess it’s still not late for me to roam around the city. What I like I took a glance behind my back to see if someone is there. You know, most in travelling is that, I don’t have to pretend to like people I come maybe I’m just assuming but I’m really not. I kept asking myself, is this along with. I can be myself here without any hesitations that people will real? Then, the guy smiled at me, oh my! His teeth were even whiter than judge my personality. They don’t even know me and perhaps they are his shirt.

“Hi. I’m Dave. You’re much prettier than I thought.” clueless about who I am in the Philippines.

As I stroll along the city, I passed by a department store wherein I was about to answer him, but he became blurred in my vision. What’s I saw a blue cashmere coat. The moment I stared at the coat, I suddenly happening? Oh no! The next thing I know? I’m back to being normal. As felt this abrupt feeling that I want to have it. Maybe, it’s just because of in normal, nothing special. the wintery weather. I almost forgot that it’s winter season here in New York. I forgot to bring my wool coats. Sounds funny right? How can I Tik-tilaok! Tik-tilaok! Tik-tilaok! forget if I don’t even have them? Look. If you’ll buy this woolen coats in “A te A ga, tama na yang pagtulog. Gumising the Philippines, when are you going to use them? Never! There is no ka na! Si Mrs. Reyes, sinisingil na tayo sa winter season in our country so I didn’t bother to buy. Anyway, I entered upa natin. Wala naman tayong pambayad the department store and paid for my new blue cashmere coat. eh. Hoy ate!”

I need to find an apartment where I’ll “Hey! What’s wrong with stay for the next two days. And here at the East you?” side of New York, I found an available apartment which will serve as my place of peace “Ate pwede ba? Sabi ko si Mrs. Reyes nasa labas. Wag ka na and harmony. This place isn’t that big. My room nga mag-english dyan. Wala na nga in our mansion is a lot bigger than this one. tayong pambayad eh.”

Anyway, I’ll just be here for 3 days. And I “Oo na.

Sige na. won’t spend a lot of time burning logs here while drinking a mug of latte. That is so boring.

Nakakainis! Ayun na e. Nakakilala It’s getting late and colder also. I have to rest na ko ng lalake tapos ginising gising mo ko!” and my adventure for tomorrow will just begin.

“Palagi ka nalang kasi nanaginip ng mga ganyang bagay.

Day 2 Kunwari mayaman ka. Eh sa Wearing my dazzling dress exclusively totoong buhay, mas mahirap ka pa designed by a famous fashion designer in the sa daga!”

Philippines and my blue cashmere coat, I Panaginip. Palagi nalang decided to take a walk along the Central Park hanggang panaginip ang mga which is the largest park in Manhattan. I saw magagandang bagay na girls wearing their gorgeous coats while nangyayari sa akin. Kailan kaya drinking coffee in a prominent coffee shop. I magiging totoo ang mga also ventured along the Fifth Avenue and I saw iyon? Sana balang araw, beautiful clothes ready for sale. But take hindi nalang basta note, normal people cannot afford these mananatiling kind of clothes. I am rich. I can afford panaginip para sakin these luxurious stuffs. ang lahat. Sana maging totoo.

-

Sana…

“Good Morning Ma’am! Please come in.” the saleslady welcomed me in their shop.

I saw very fabulous and trendy stuff here. Suddenly, I find myself bored. All I did the whole day is spend all my money on those luxurious

Passion for the Self

Franz

Faces, Shades, Colors, and Poses, Beauty that reflects the image of roses.

Though faces are born with beauty, They eventually stain their purity.

Vain Promises

Taryn Antonella

The way those eyes sparkle and that smile beamed, Had captured this weakened weary heart so it seemed.

That gentle raven hair flowing so gracefully in the wind, Had made this tired heart race so fast than it ever had been.

Oh, sweet lover, please drop an unsubtle hint, Like Narcissus’ seductive reflection, With your soothing words and eyes that glint, That flared a passion with no rejection. With your endearing voice and full soft lips, With no doubt he fell completely irresistible, Do it so, my love or here this poor being weeps.

To the charm of the face that was undeniable.

What had you have that allures me so?

Though to fall to the self-captured image Is it your lovely personality I that I so much know?

Is a temptation that weighs as heavy luggage. I watched you grow more charming each passing day, Through the enticing features and sexual And each day I fall deeper and to climb up this pit there was no way.

appeal, No matter what kind of cover it can never Never had I touched your hand, never had your lips planted with a conceal. kiss.

And if I could only feel your warmth, nothing can compare to the bliss.

The image, in the end, reveals the ultimate And so I am desperately trying to reach you from beyond, reality, Zealous to touch that soft hand that I am fond.

Neither pure nor stained soul could resist the vanity. You, yes you, the sole person who could see what I see.

The Passion for the Self is an unbearable curse, The sole being I expect no betrayal from thee.

That grips you in the end, until you burst. The perfect lover that was never meant for me.

But I promise, not a single person will I love more than I love me.

In Front Of You

ENCYCLOPEDIA Gabriel Umupo ka na lang at wag nang tatayo Sa kinalalagyan mo, tiyak marami ka nang nabunggo Pangalan pa lang, matapang na ang dating Kahit sa mga pelikula, naipamalas ang galing Naidawit na ang pangalan sa kalokohan, Tuloy pa din ang serbisyo sa bayan Nabisto na ang tunay na utak Wa-epek pa din, kahit reputasyo’y wasak Lahat ng bagay, may katumbas na halaga Ang Diyos na ang bahalang manghusga Sa iyong gawang, walang kwenta At ng sa gayo’y mabawasan na kayo at sila Mapulutan sana ng aral Na ang pangungupit ay di inaaral At hindi rin dapat inuugali Kundi dapat ay binabali

I was staring blankly at the mirror, hoping that my reflection would slap me in the face and say, “Hey you beefy-head! Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t even care”.

and girls, obviously, inside. I was enjoying the view. I mean, the sun is almost above us, burning our skin into charcoal, the trees, my totallytall-dark-and-happy friend, beside me (which almost made me pee because of great happiness), and also Three forty-five in the my other friends. I enjoyed it so morning. My phone alarm began much, I didn’t notice, I began to take disrupting my glorious ‘zombie a small nap. dream.’ But, I have to resist the call of my bed. Somebody needs my help I was already used to in cooking (which I never thought I’m nightmares and stuffs, but these little capable of). Just a six-second- dreams were different. It was black, brushing of my teeth, I’m good to go. spacious and as if there was a fire above you that continues to burn you After a long time of without being damaged. Then I heard preparation, I looked at my watch. a very familiar voice. He was It’s already 3:50 am. I better be laughing. And I caught myself, going, or someone’s going to kill me. laughing too. Then I spoke, “sulitin mo na yan hangga’t kaya mo pa.

Thank the gods of Olympus! Tignan natin mamaya.” Then a loud Made it without breaking a sweat, screaking noise woke me up. I only an ankle, but it’s not that straighten up and join their talk and painful. I was going to enter the eventually made me bored because it bamboo gates of the house when a was all about bikes, which happens to growl of a big, yet cute monster be, not my forte. startled me which made me back-off.

Despite the fear I went in because I was reading the signs and someone peeked out of the door and posters and saw that we were almost made a ‘come in!’ hand signal. there at our destination. I stood up and held the railings in front of me. I To make the long adventure never felt this feeling before—a short, we prepared and went to the mixed feeling of anxiety, excitement, Wet Market. After a full scale of go happiness, and a gassy stomach. here and there and buy this and that, Anxiety because of the dream. we decided that all of the bought Excitement and gladness because of stuffs were enough. The preparation the happenings. Gassy stomach and cooking session wasn’t because of too much air that I that hard. Took us almost inhaled during the time I was two hours to prepare the standing. I don’t know what to feel. I food needed. Later on, we just focused on the road and enjoyed packed our things and the moment. waited for the service car.

We’ve reached our destination.

Yes, it’s a resort. And yes, we got our The phones and took photos. For that service car moment, happiness was my only was great feeling. But my gut was disturbing and the me: Something wrong would happen. seating plan Cool. We have a room. Now this is a vacation. Comfy bunks, pallid bed sheets, and an awesome window view.

and soaked ourselves in the blazing heat and swam like there’s no tomorrow.

Mr. Sun shone its scorching light and made some of my friends get off the water. They couldn’t stay long in the water so they went upstairs. But I stayed and manage to defeat the sun. But the voice inside keeps intruding. “Tibay mo ah?

Feeling ka.”

I went upstairs too for food but eventually got back to the pool. I wasted no time. After few hours, some of my friends began to go back and swim again. I didn’t notice the time and it was getting dark. As the sky gets darker, so was I. I felt strange. I felt like I’m alone. I decided to rise up and took the key from my totally-tall-dark-and-happy friend.

I was alone at the room. I ran for the comfort room, trying to seek for comfort. I opened the shower but I did not bathe. Instead, I sat on the throne and started crying. I was too curious of myself so I decided to look on the mirror what I look like when I cry. But I decided to stop crying. Not a good view. After realizing the thought, I asked myself, ‘what is wrong with you?’ I was staring blankly at the mirror. Hoping that my reflection would slap me in the face and say, “Hey you beefy-head! Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t even care”. And I started crying again.

Too much for crying, I fixed myself up and went back to the pool, but this time, I didn’t join them.

Instead, I watched them swim and play, wondering, am I really important? I mean all I do is flirt with someone who totally doesn’t give crap, and be late in all aspects.

But then, it just ruined my night. The excitement of the trip, gone. And you could see my eyes on tears as my music player keeps repeating the song ‘Say Something’.

Thinking the room is mine, I just threw my bag and began to lie Where will I place down, owning the half of the bed as if myself? Can I find my rightful we are going to stay there for days. abode? Can I be a happy was terrific. Boys were outside (the service car was a pick-up)

My nose was tingling. I smelled… food. Someone was cooking and brought the food up to the room.

We ate gladly and happily. Then afterwards, went down for a shower,

person without hiding the fact that I got big dilemmas? I don’t know.

I’m still searching. I am still waiting for the best time to come.

I feel so empty!

Selfiesh

I feel so empty then someone threw a piece of bubble gum, I didn’t notice what gum it was, I just instantly put it in my mouth, The next thing I remember, I feel like floating.

Click! Click! Click!

I heard the camera clicked Pictures everywhere Various reactions air

Anjela

I vomited bucket of mistakes, Bad memories came out of my lungs, Defecated all the hatred I kept inside, Pee a bucket of negative vibes.

Opportunities started to flow in my hands, Chances are now hugging me, Self-esteem runs through my veins, Encouraging lines swum to my ears.

The atmosphere turned out to black, Now, the only thing I see is clock, Clock that constantly reminds me, How I should spend life wisely.

I spit out the bubble gum, Now it has a name on it, “time”.

Divi

Al Mar Paj

Claire

I was hanging with my friends Talking about the newest trends When you sauntered inside the room From that moment I saw I was doomed People who take pictures

called “selfies“ Always show beauty They are always ready And never messy

I knew you were that kind of guy Who at the end always says goodbye Standing in the light Covered with diamonds so ‘Cause there’s something bad about you bright Wearing apparels and But I was hooked and bounded by dresses you

Posed as if she is a goddess

Now, all I can say to you is this I’m glad I didn’t let the chance Posting selfies online miss Is a narcissistic crime Looking closely at your ‘Cause everything is right and fine reflection And forever you’ll always be mine Reveals a little

imperfection.

R E A L I Z E

Always Be mine

I realized..

That life is short, It needs love, happiness, and respect.

And it needs comfort, attention, and care.

I realized..

That things are not taken for granted, It needs to have goals, perseverance, and initiative.

And it needs to have a passion.

I realized..

That light comes after darkness, That love comes after pain, And happiness comes after sorrow.

I realized..

That life is just simple.

It is us who made it complicated, Life, must be lived not only to the fullest, but to the happiest.

I realized.. that we only die once, and we only live once.

There will always be a time when you’re likely to forget who you are, and what you used to believe in.

A time when you felt nobody will understand or will ever try to understand you except for one person. A day when you almost gave up, and he was the only one who was there to catch you in every fall, but that’s what I thought. I used to believe in different things: in fate, in love, in destiny, but most especially in him. You’ll only know who you really are when you lose something so important in your life – yourself.

It was Christmas Eve, I’ve never been home to celebrate holidays like today since I graduated high school seven years ago. My mother said I was a special guest, so here I am lying on my old bed doing nothing because she doesn’t want me to help doing chores for tonight. I’m on my holiday vacation from work, so I got up and arranged my clothes that I packed for a couple of days. I checked my closet and saw a box that I’ve never touched for so long. I carried it to the bed and opened it. My high school year book was the first thing I saw inside. I turned the pages and came across the faces of people that I haven’t seen for a long time. How do they look now? Who are they now? Page after page the faces were starting to get familiar, my friends, classmates, neighbors, and then, him.

Kristofer.

always starts with a smile, and ends with a brighter one. He make shows at diners, malls, and parks we were at, shouting how much he loved me, and only me. It was embarrassingly sweet. I loved him so much that I never realized how deep I was into him.

Amber warned me about Kit, she said he has a bad reputation and can be a bad influence if I let my guard down. Little does she know that I let it all down the moment she introduced Kit to me. Couple of weeks later, I saw what Amber was talking about. Kit took me to parties every night.

Wild parties with heavy metal music, smokes, and alcoholic beverages. Drunk people were scattered around dancing to the sick beat of the music. It was past midnight when I got home. My parents were outraged, they even told me to never see Kit again – but I wouldn’t do that. I just couldn’t. My grades went low, I cut classes, and I always return home late at night. My friends even told me I wasn’t the same anymore. I cried and Kit comforted me and said, “If they can’t accept the fact that change is sometimes good, then they’re not really your friends.”

Kit also gets in a lot of fights, which he starts most of the time. When I told him to stop getting into trouble, he told me it was the only way he could release his frustration. I asked, frustrations to whom?

To what? He didn’t answer. Then one time at a party, I went to get a drink and when I got back I saw Kit punching another guy.

The bystanders were trying to stop him, but he just pushed them off. I ran to him and tried to stop him myself, and not knowing that it was me, he pushed me hard and I landed on the floor. When he realized it was me, he stopped beating the guy and rushed We met at a house party where it towards me. He apologized and suddenly turns out that he was also at the same decided that he’ll bring me home. place. Amber, my friend who threw the party, introduced me to her childhood The day I knew his true color was friends. Some of them were wasted, some when I saw him with another girl at a mall. were bored, but most were friendly and They were kissing, and when the girl turned loud. Names and handshakes were around my blood went cold. She was exchanged, and the last person she beautiful. They walked right past me like introduced to me was Kristofer, or Kit, it’s they never knew I was there, like they never what he preferred to be called. One look at saw me watching them. I called Kit that his appearance, I knew he was reckless: a night, not surprised when a girl answered trouble-seeker, an arrogant person and a his phone. “You should’ve never let your very, very bad idea. He was the kind of guy guard down, Katy”, she said and hung up. I mothers warn their daughters about. I’m cried the whole night. It was hard. The always on my guard, but with him it seems person who was always there for you isn’t like suddenly it’s no use anymore. He there for you any longer. It was so painful to followed me all over the house that night, it experience a heartbreak for the first time was annoying and a little crazy. He offered after giving everything to the person you me drinks and food, but I politely declined love. But the most painful of all is realizing every offer. I wasn’t planning to give him that you lost yourself because of him. After the attention that he wanted, but he was that day, I never saw Kit again. persistent, and I eventually gave him a chance to know me. He turned out to be the It was a good thing that he did opposite of what I thought he would be, and what he did. Thanks to him, my eyes saw surprisingly even better. what love really means. I may have lost my self before, but now, I found it again and Not long after the party, we turned out to be something more. I don’t became friends. He bared himself to me, the have the ability to change my past, but I can mistakes he’d made, his weaknesses, and always direct my future in the right path. If I his dreams for the future. He was sensitive, ever see him again, I would come up to him and we had many similar interests. We got and thank him. Thank you for setting me along pretty well. Then we became more free from you so I may look for who I used to than friends – we dated and became lovers. be and start a new life without you. I smiled, I was bound to him permanently. He put the yearbook back inside, and slowly showed me a part of life that I hadn’t but happily closed it. I put it back to where it discovered yet. It was captivating and belongs, inside my closet and went a little frightening. Our time together downstairs to help my mother.

We are all old enough to know what is right from wrong, but why is that when someone offers you a cigarette stick, you feel indulged to take it?

Insecurity: Uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. Every teenager’s worse enemy. It is what creeps in the halls of every school, preying on those who lack self-assurance. A dangerous enemy, for it could either shape up a child’s future or ruin it.

Adolescence is a time where the child is prepared for adulthood. A time where they would decide their own path, free to express their own decisions, away from their parents’ supervision. They have a certain power within themselves to be free to do what they desire.

So when does this power turn into insecurity?

When a child is no longer under the views of his parents, they turn into their peers, who, would play a vital role in their life.

These peers can be of great influence—influence that spreads through people so brusquely. And then there comes insecurity. It is not drugs, or alcohol, or suicide that is the real enemy. It is insecurity, because with it, these teens are obliged to commit these tasks. Why? Because we don’t want to feel like outcasts. We want to fit in into society, to do what our peers like to do.

We go to such lengths just to become a part of the circle, because we are insecure. We don’t want to be left out, because those people are seen as losers. And sometimes, we get our priorities all messed up.

Sometimes fitting in tend to be more important that studies. And when we fail to do just that, we get really depressed. Some can even lead to suicide.

So what can we do about it? What solution can be done to stop this madness?

Easy. Start with yourself. If peers can influence a fellow quite greatly, then why not use the same method? Get your life straighten out.

Set your priorities right. Get good grades, don’t do drugs, don’t drink alcohol, don’t make someone feel lost. Set an example and challenge your own peers into doing this kind of activities. Insecurity will always be within these teens, but with strong peers it will be banished and be swapped with assurance.

With the obstacles out of the way, we could finally live our lives as students with ease. An increase in confidence will reduce unwanted events in our lives that we might regret. So don’t be afraid to be a leader.

Challenge your peers into doing what is right.

Support each other. Most importantly, don’t stop there. Spread your influence with those outside of the friendship circle. Be confident.

June 8. Ito ang araw na pinakahihintay ko. Halos ang tagal ko ding hinintay ang araw na ito. Wedding day na! Blue and white ang motif ng wedding na ito. Mula sa sasakyang lulan ako, natanaw ko na ang pinto ng simbahan. Napakaganda at engrande ang pagkakaayos dito. Naghintay ako ng konting sandali.

Dug. Dug. Dug. Dug. Napakabilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Bago ko buksan ang pinto ng sasakyan, agad akong huminga ng malalim. Naglakad ako patungo sa pinto ng simbahan, napakaraming tao. Kinakabahan ako. Hindi ko alam kung papasok na ba ako o ano. Hanggang sa nakita ko siya. Bakas sa kanyang mga labi ang ngiti at sayang nadarama. Wala pa rin siyang pinagbago.Muli ko na namang naalala ang matagal naming pinagsamahan sa nakalipas na limang taon.

Five years ago…

Ako nga pala si Jenny. Third year college na ako. Madalas akong nasa library para magprepare sa thesis ko. Kung ako nagreresearch, ibahin mo si Jake. Dito ko siya nakilala. Madalas din siyang nandito tulad ko, pero hindi para mag-aral o kung ano man.

Nandito siya para magpa-aircon at matulog. Kakaiba talaga siya.

Naging magkaibigan kami kahit na ganun siya. Kaklase ko kasi siya sa Management. Ang nakakapagtaka lang sa kanya, hindi ko siya nakikitang nag-aaral pero matalino siya at pumapasa sa mga exams. Madalas kaming magkasama. Tuwing breaktime at vacant, sabay kaming kumakain. Aminado ako na masaya ako kapag kasama ko siya. Pero, nahihiya ako sa kanya.

Baka kasi hindi naman kami pareho ng nararamdaman.

Masasaktan lang ako kung sakali.

Noong birthday ko, sinama niya ako sa isang mall. Nagulat ako nang bigla niya akong niregaluhan ng isang camera. Hilig ko kasi talagang kumuha ng magagandang pictures. Halos napuno namin yung memory card ng mga pictures naming dalawa. Masayang-masaya ako nun. Nung pauwi na kami, hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. Halos manlabot ako nun. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. May sinabi siya sa akin na halos ikalundag ng puso ko.

“Jenny. Alam kong nagtataka ka. Pero, sa mga panahong magkasama tayo. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang sayang nararamdaman ko.

Kapag ngumingiti ka, halos lumabas yung puso ko sa sobrang saya. Matagal ko ng gustong sabihin sa’yo na mahal kita Jenny. Mahal na mahal.”

namin ni Jake noon. Masaya kami at totoo ang lahat ng pinakita namin sa isa’t-isa. Naalala ko, may dapat pa pala akong gawin.

Dahan-dahan akong pumasok sa loob ng simbahan. Halos lahat ng tao ay nakangiti sa akin. May mga college friends kami na nandun din at agad naman silang kumaway sa akin. Papalapit na ako kay Jake. Nakangiti lang siya sa akin. Napakagandang pagmasdan ng mga ngiti niya. Konti nalang malapit na ako kay Jake nang bigla siyang nagsalita.

“Jenny! Long time no see. Buti nakarating ka. Namiss kita.

Salamat at pumunta ka sa wedding namin ni Diane. “ “Oo naman Jake. Ikaw pa, alam mo namang di kita matitiis eh. Hahaha! Teka, nandiyan na ang bride mo. Best wishes sa inyo!”

Pagkatapos nun, agad akong naghanap ng mauupuan ko at dun ko nakita ang mga college friends ko. Masaya naming pinanuod ang kasal ni Jake at Diane. Maaaring nagtataka kayo dahil akala niyo kami ang magkakatuluyan ni Jake. Akala ko din eh. Pero, hindi ata talaga kami nakatakda para sa isa’t-isa. Halos isa at kalahating taon din nagtagal ang relasyon namin, pero pagkatapos ng graduation at nagtatrabaho na kami sa magkaibang company, masyadong napapadalas ang pag-aaway namin.

Hanggang sa isang araw, nagdesisyon kaming maghiwalay na lang. Baka kasi hindi pa kami handa. Simula nun, nagkaroon ako ng opportunity na magtrabaho abroad. Halos nawalan kami ng communication. Hanggang sa isang araw, nakatanggap ko ng isang e-mail mula kay Jake. Iniinvite niya ako sa kasal niya.

Nagulat ako nang malaman ko iyon. Napakabilis ng panahon.

Pero ngayon, masaya ako para kay Jake pati na rin kay Diane. Happy ending na si Jake, pero ako? Mukhang hindi pa.

Natapos na rin ang kasal, lumabas na ng simbahan ang lahat ng bisita at saktong maghahagis na ang bride na si Diane ng kanyang bouquet. Wala naman akong balak makisalo pa sa ibang babae kaya pumunta na ako sa likod para icheck yung car ko. Hanggang sa di inaasahang pagkakataon, nakita kong bumagsak ang bouquet sa harap ko at agad ko itong pinulot.

Nakatingin ang lahat ng bisita sa akin, bigla akong nakaramdam ng hiya at batid kong namumula na ang mga pisngi ko. Nagulat ako nang biglang sumigaw si Diane.

“Naku Jenny! Mukhang ikaw na ang susunod na ikakasal!”

One. Two. Three.

Antagal bago nagprocess sa braincells ko yung mga sinabi niya. Pero hindi na ko nagpaligoy-ligoy. Agad ko siyang sinagot.

“Mahal din kita Jake.”

Halos matawa ako nung naalala ko yung pinagsamahan

On his favorite rocking chair, alone and sad, he awaits for you every day. He longs to see you on that horizon which you draw between him and you. Until when would you keep him waiting?

Until when would you keep him alone with his sadness? I bet none of this images I am seeing now comes to your mind. You do not know how painful it is when you broke his heart. You left. You were gone. But still, he is looking forward and hopeful that one day you will come.

Where are you at right now? Are you happy and contented? Are you living the life you have always wanted? Have you reached the highest peak like you always dream of? Yes? No. “Almost” you may say, but I believe never.

More than what you think and more than your senses could tell are the things he is preparing upon your return. He even prepares a room for you, the one which is just for you. He said you still deserve it. Is he right or not? But this good and gracious father I never heard him cry. He showed no signs of regret when still loves you no matter what you have done and no matter what he gave you your freedom. But in his eyes I could not deny that he you have become. longs for you. He loves you so much to give you the choice.

However, his heart desires that one day you will choose to be back For no matter what reason, come now will you? in his presence more than anything else.

Show yourself on that horizon.

Su última nota Taryn Antonella Gonzaga

Para mis padres,

18 dé Julio, 1778 darkening bruises. I dared not tell a handed me over to a woman dressed single word to my mother. But during the nights she was alone in the house when father was out late, she suspected that he was out in the brothels and fooling with undignified women, she would unleash all her vexation and fury at me, cursing me for being a devil’s child as if she had no part in conceiving me. She pointed out my flaws, my imperfections, my failures.

in fine silks. Her skin was wrinkled, but she held a certain beauty. The jobs she gave me was easy, I did it without complaints. All I needed to do was bathe, dress in skimpy laces, wear perfume, and look pretty. Then she would send men into my room, and they all filled me with sweet praises. They said that I was beautiful and precious. They admired how soft my skin was and how silky my long hair appeared. I was told that my Ustedes no me aman. Ustedes muffled voice sounded so heavenly, my sweet lips tasted like honey. I had oran para qué yo nunca regresé. Pero always treasured their company. This was my new home, and here, I felt él me encontró, y me mostró él amor loved.

Yo nunca quiero volver á casa.

Yo no creó qué yo pudiera sostener escuchar otra palabra odiosa dé tú boca. Ustedes ni siquiera notan mí ausencia. Me parece cómo sí á ustedes no le efecta para nada. Me pone enferma qué ustedes me concibieron, qué yo nací dé ti, y qué me criaron solamente para hacer mí vida un y cariño qué ustedes no me permitieron ni probar. Él es él infierno en vida. hombre más vil en éste planeta qué Beloved parents, ustedes pensarían qué él vino dé su I want to come back home propia hija. someday. I missed hearing your voices. Do pardon me, if I’ve been gone for so long. You must be dying to hear from me. I’m sorry to make you worry. However, during the times I had been apart from you, I have grown very thankful that you gave me this life that I am honored to have.

I have a habit of lying to myself. I would assuage the words that I truly felt and make seem… different… less dreadful than they actually are. I would tell myself these false words and imagine how my life would be if I lived it all differently. It dulls out the pain sometimes.

One night at the theatre, father excused himself to leave the balcony, even though mother strongly disagreed to it. The actors were performing exquisitely onstage, but both of my parents had their attention paid elsewhere. I kept quiet, behaved, as I usually had. Ill fate would face me if I ever used my tongue against mother or father.

Father left, suppressing himself not to shout at his wife in front of the large crowd.

Some found their little argument more amusing than that of the actors’. Mother was suddenly aware of this undesired predicament, so without a choice she let him flee to his other woman. I knew because I saw her from the balcony. She didn’t know about this back then but her suspicion grew to a prodigious extent that she had kept a knife hidden beneath her skirts. I would prefer it if she would dare unsheathe it and attempt to use it against her husband, or maybe he would fight back and end up killing her instead. I want at least one of them dead. My life under their roof has been a living hell.

I’ll be home soon. And I have a pleasant surprise for you.

I’m to be married. He loves me.

He’s God’s gift and I could not wait for the day we all become family.

I no longer felt loved – rather, I grew tired of hoping. That’s when he found me. Oh, I thought my knight had come. I was heavily besotted with him. He gave me the kind of happiness I have long longed for. I thought I found love. His beguiling words were enough for me to give it all up for the chance to spend eternity with this man. I met him one day as I was ambling the busy streets of the city.

How he found me was insignificant. All I knew was that he was of the lower class, although handsome. We knew each other for a time, and kept our friendship in secrecy. It was not socially acceptable for a woman of my class to be caught accompanying the likes of him. But what can I do? I found help. He provided the escape I desperately needed. He was the wolf in sheep’s clothing. I was warned but I shut my ears to them.

It was not long until his malignant nature had surfaced. I was abducted by him, my sweet precious prince who I trusted… But I didn’t protest, not one bit. After all I had been through, what worse could he possibly do to me… to my body?

Despite the sinful methods he used, in one way or another, he gave me comfort. He made me feel… special.

Some may call me mad, but, what was I to do? Reject the only thing close enough to genuine love that I could ever get? No. It was the best thing life had to offer to me; and truthfully enough, for a time I was contented. For a time, I was happy.

Precautious, my father beat me bloody the day I found I loved him, but I was another out of his strange affair. He left me with a broken lip and extra mouth for him to feed. He

But it was ruined. One hot summer afternoon, my door clicked open and my face lit up in a smile… but quickly, it turned to a frown.

Father… I saw father. We locked eyes before his face emitted pure fury. He beat me, just as he had before when I was a little younger. My sweet lips were cracked and bloody and my soft skin was bruised all over. My front teeth were missing, and my wrist was broken. They managed to get him away from me, chain him to a chair until he calmed down. I was in the other room, crying. They decided that they would throw me out of my home because I was too hideous to entertain. And where was I to go? I didn’t know. Just when I finally found happiness, it was stolen from me…

Just how can I…?

As they were assisting father out the doors, I slipped a note in his coat pocket.

Ahora ustedes saben lo qué yo me é convertido en. Yo soy patética, lo sé. Pero está es la única manera qué yo jamás pueda sentirme amada.

No sé qué fue lo qué yo hice para recibir un destinó tan cruel. Deseó qué jamás hubiera nacido. Yo prefiero nunca haber existido qué tener qué sufrir viviendo. La única cosa qué me trae comodidad es él pensamiento dé verlos á ustedes sufriendo en él infierno con migo algún día.

But, after everything, I’m a bit stronger now. I learned how to walk after crawling through hell. I have you to thank for. Soon, I believe we would live as a happy family. Every little grudge will be tossed away and forgotten. I will see you soon. Await me with arms wide open. I will come through the front door one day, with genuine smile lighting up my face.

te quero,

Feliciana

I am Him

WHITE CANVASS

Al Mar Paj

Ace Cy

We’re born and yet we’re alone..

When I command you, You must always heed it When I say what is true, You need to believe it You have no power over me, I am stronger than anything Will everyone ever see?

How much bliss or grief I could bring?

I I I I

am bigger than the mountains, am untouchable than the waves flourish like the fountains, am the only one who saves

I am your brother, your teacher I am the forgiver of those who sin I am your servant, your leader You know who I am, I am Him

Winter Bianca Marie Green trees turn white Surprises everyone for a while Looking for coats to wear Seeking a refuge from the frosty air Dashing to the snow Sliding and gliding to show Riding a bobsled down the hill Screaming out to feel Snow covered the ground People wear blanket all around Look for heat from the fireplace Gives you warmth and solace

My mom once said, “go forth and make yourself” I was confused, and ask naughtily “Y ou and dad made me, right?”

She just smiled, and let me muddle.

Amore Angela

Amore,

I wasn’t looking for you, I wasn’t expecting you, But I am glad I met someone like you.

We have been together for almost every day, We have been sharing this kind of unexplainable happiness, This kind of comfortableness, You give me this form of feeling that I can’t even express.

Everything just happened unexpectedly, Effortless, Whimsical, Blissful, Unusual.

You’re a beautiful hello, Please don’t say goodbye, Hold me, amore Hold me.

And then I grow up, They let me do everything by myself.

They allowed me to choose my own path.

I reached for my dreams, I touched my goals.

And then they’re there, smiling behind me.

Then I realized how grateful I am to have them, I understand now why did they let me do everything I want.

Tho’ there are times I doubt if they truly love me.

We are all painters, We paint what agrees our happiness.

We color our lives the way we want it to be.

Cause when we are born, our life is just a white canvass.

Marie Bianca

Kathlene Cates

Angela

“To my beloved, Even before you were formed, I set you apart.

I always have plans for you; I am full of thoughts for you.

You were created, Not just to exist but live.

Not for suffering, But for a life so complete And full of wonderful things.

I made up my mind, Not just to give you your life.

Gave you will to rule; With sensation and wisdom, To you, I bestowed freedom Despite your power, Your strength, your innate vigor, You feel weak and hurt.

You breakdown then feel ruined; Suppressed in pain when heart broke.

I never designed; Never in my heart desired, You to live that way A failure? A broken soul?

You must not and never should.

You are a victor, A conqueror, a royal.

You’re meant to prosper.

Always know you’re valuable.

You are by all means superb.

You are blessed and loved.

Open your heart; receive mine.

Be filled with gladness.

Live up your dreams and believe.

You are wonderful to me.”

In the cold summer night, before my day ends, I sit on my bed beside the open window.

I stare at the stars that stares back at me.

And in the pale moonlight, I come to think of thee and my existence. joy! My aching heart sings with Selfless Oh glee!

Marie Bianca

My hard-days’ work turns painfree.

I lived a miserable life.

I hear then the cold breeze humI am self-centered. ming to my ears, I don’t care whatever they think The soothing sound that calms thy mind and sweeps all thy fears. of me.

I always care for myself.

For I hear not wind, but your I love myself. beautiful voice singing to me.

I don’t want to get hurt.

Warming my heart and lulls me to I live for myself. sleep.

I won’t regret everything I do.

But, You have showed me the right love, Your love that never fails.

Your love is enough for me, You alone the one who showed If only you see me the way I see me how to love. you You love me even I don’t deserve, Then I won’t be blue You are selfless.

If only you talk to me like you You are my God.

talk to her Then I’ll be your lover

If only you care Then I’ll be your shoulder If only you pay attention Then I can have a feeling of satisfaction If you say you love me too I know it’s not true Because right from the start You already broke my heart

“Kapag nag-iisa ka, naiisip mo lahat ng bagay na nakasakit at nakakasakit sa’yo. Lahat lahat, kahit pa ibinaon mo na ito sa nakaraan..”

Ako si Pamela. Mula pagkabata, ako at si inay lang ang magkasama. Hindi ko na nakilala ang aking ama pagkat sabi ng aking ina ito raw ay namatay isang taon matapos akong ipanganak. Kaya mula nuon, kami lang ang magkasama. Akala ko noon paraiso sa piling niya, ngunit ng tumungtong ako ng labing apat na taong gulang, nagsimula ng magbago ang pakikitungo n’ya sa akin. Lagi s’yang galit at kung may nagawa akong mali, parati nya akong sinasaktan. Ipinagkait n’ya sa akin ang kasiyahan ng pagiging isang tinedyer. At hanggang sa paglipas ng panahon, hindi nagbago ang tingin n’ya sa akin at misteryo parin sa’kin kung bakit.

Ako’y nagkolehiyo habang nagtrabaho sa aming kantina upang maipandagdag sa aking matrikula.

Sumali rin ako sa isang organisasyon at naging presidente nito. Halos hindi na ako natutulog makapag-aral at makapagtrabaho lang para sa aking ina.

Pagkat naniniwala ako na bagamat salat kami sa kayamanan at uhaw ako sa pagmamahal ng magulang, hindi ito magiging hadlang upang hindi ako makapagtapos.

Isang araw, gumising akong napakagulo ng aming sala. Nagalit na naman si inay at nagwala. Galit na galit s’ya sa akin pagkat nalimutan ko raw bilhin ang ipinabibili n’yang pagkain kagabi pagkat naubos na ang pera ko.

Pinalayas n’ya ako at sinabing, “Huwag ka nang babalik! Hindi ka rin naman marunong sumunod! Lumayas ka!”, at hindi ko napigilang tumulo ang luha ko.

Ayun na nga siguro ang pinakamasakit n’yang sinabi sa akin, ngunit alam kong hindi n’ya iyon sinasadyang sabihin.

Masakit mang aminin, pero talagang nagbago na ang aking ina. Hindi ko na s’ya makilala. At kahit gaano ito kasakit, kailangan ko itong tanggapin at ipagpatuloy ang aking buhay.

Nagtungo na ako sa paaralan matapos ang pangyayari. Dumiretso ako sa kantina upang magtrabaho. Nakita ko na namang muli si Aling Pesing. S’ya ang isa sa dahilan kung bakit nawawala ang pagod naming lahat na nagtatrabaho sa kantina. Palagi s’yang nakangiti na tila ba walang problemang dinadala. Kaya naman pati kami ay nahahawa na rin sa kanyang matatamis na ngiti. Nais ko s’yang kausapin ng araw na iyon dahil sa bigat ng aking dinaramdam, ngunit sa dami ng aking gawain sa aming organisasyon ay hindi ko na nagawa.

binili ko kela Manang Rosie. Paborito ito ni inay kaya panigurado ay matutuwa s’ya. Ngunit, pagdating ko sa bahay ay nakita ko s’yang hawak hawak ang sulat ng aking matalik na kaibigang si Rico.

Nagpapahayag ito ng pag-ibig sa akin ngunit tinanggihan ko s’ya pagkat nais kong ipagpatuloy lang ang aming pagkakaibigan at dahil ayaw kong magalit sa akin ang aking ina. Bakas sa mukha niya ang galit. Papalapit palang ako upang magmano ay bigla n’ya akong sinampal ng malakas sa pisngi.

Ang pagdampi ng kanyang mainit na palad sa aking mukha ay tila ilang segundong pagbabalik tanaw sa panahong hinahaplos n’ya ang aking mukha bilang pag-aalaga na hindi na naulit kailanman. Ako’y nagising nalang sa pagsigaw n’ya, “Wala kang kwenta!

Hindi ka nag-aaral upang lumandi ng ganyan! Tumigil ka na lang sa pag-aaral at mag-asawa na rin! Sinasabi ko na nga ba’t maglalandi ka lang rin! Hindi na kita kailangan!”.

estudyante na parang ina sa mga ito.

Nang pauwi na ako galing sa meeting namin sa organisasyon, nakita kong muli si Aling Pesing. Mukhang papauwi na s’ya at madami pang dala kaya napagpasyahan kong lapitan s’ya upang tulungan at sabayang umuwi.

Habang kami ay naglalakad, nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon upang tanungin siya. Nalaman kong sa kabila pala ng kanyang ngiti ay may sakit ng paghihirap ng isang ina at anak. Labing apat na taong gulang s’ya noong siya ay magasawa na dahilan kung bakit siya itinaboy ng kanyang mga magulang, ilang taon lang ay iniwan rin siya ng asawa niyang sinasaktan lang s’ya parati. May apat s’yang anak kung saan ang panganay ay may malubhang sakit, ang pangalawa ay nag-asawa ng maaga at nakatira pa sa kanya, ang pangatlo ay adik, at ang bunso ay namatay dahil sa aksidente.

Napakasakit ng mga nangyari sa kanyang buhay. Nang tinanong ko siya kung bakit nakakangiti pa s’ya sa Unti-unting umagos sa aking kabila ng lahat sinabi nyang, “Kung pisngi ang luhang hindi lang basta lulan uulitin ko man ang aking buhay, ng sakit ng pagsampal n’ya sa aking pisngi, kundi dahil sa sakit ng sinabi n’yang kailanman ay hindi

magagamot ng anuman. Ang lahat ng hirap na aking ginagawa ay nawawalan na ng saysay.

Ang pagsisikap ko, ang pagtatyaga, ang pagtitiis – lahat tila nabalewala na.

Inumaga na ako sa kakaiyak, at parang ayoko ng ipagpatuloy ang aking buhay. Ngunit ng makita ko ang aking ina na natutulog sa kanyang silid, nabuhayan pa rin akong magpatuloy para sa kanya. Nagtrabaho muli ako sa kantina ng umagang iyon. Si Aling Pesing, buong ngiti ako muling binati.

Ako’y lubos na nagtataka kung bakit tila Umuwi akong pagod bitbit wala s’yang dinadalang problema. ang supot ng plastik na may sinigang na Masigla n’yang pinagsisilbihan ang mga

malamang tayo ay nagkakabungguan na sa kalye habang nilalaro ang buhok at nagsasalita mag-isa at dala ang kung anu anong basura. Lahat naman ng tao ay may pagsubok sa buhay. Pero hangga’t may dahilan upang maging masaya at mabuhay, magpatuloy ka lang.”

Habang pinapakinggan ko s’ya, hindi ko napigil ang pagluha sa aking mga mata. Sa kabila pala ng lahat ng problemang hinaharap ko, may tao pa lang mas nahihirapan ngunit nagpapatuloy parin. Naalala ko tuloy ang aking ina na siyang nagbibigay buhay at tanging dahilan nang pagpapatuloy at pagsusumikap ko sa buhay.

Sa giliw ko sa kanya ay inimbitahan ko siyang tumuloy muna sa aming bahay. Nang pumasok na kami ni Aling Pesing sa aming bahay ay nakita ko ang aking ina na tulala at bumubuhos ang luha. Ako’y nagtataka pagkat ngayon ko lang siya uli nakitang umiyak.

Nang tinignan ko si Aling Pesing ay bakas rin ang pagkabigla at luha sa kanyang mukha. Walang anu-ano ay hinaplos ng aking ina ang mukha ni Aling Pesing. Nagyakap sila ng mahigpit at biglang sinambit ng aking ina, “Pesilida, aking anak!”, at sa gulat ko ay hindi ako nakaimik. Hindi ko alam ang mga nangyayari.

Hanggang sa ipaliwanag sa akin ni inay ang totoo.

Si Aling Pesing o Ate Pesing ay panganay na anak nila inay. Sa sobrang pagkabigo nila dito dahil nag-asawa ito agad sa edad na labing-apat na gulang, pinalayas nila ito sa kanilang bahay at hindi na kinilala. Ngunit pinagsisihan rin nila ito at pilit hinanap ang panganay na anak. Ngunit wala na silang naging balita hanggang sa magbuntis si inay sa akin. Minahal n’ya ako at nang pagtuntong ko ng labing-apat na taong gulang ay naalala niya ang aking kapatid kung kaya nagawa niya akong pagmalupitan. Natakot siyang gumaya ako sa aking kapatid kaya naisip niyang magbago upang huwag ko siyang gayahin.

Habang nagpapaliwanag si inay, naalala kong bigla ang lahat ng paghihirap at sakit na idinulot niya sa akin sa kabila ng aking pagsisikap. Hindi ba’t sobra naman ang kanyang ginawa sa akin? Napatingin ako kay Ate Pesing at bumalik lahat ng sakit. Ang taong hinahangaan ko dahil sa pagngiti niya sa kabila ng lahat ng pinag-daraanan n’ya ay siya palang dahilan ng aking pagdurusa. Napaka-sakit. Nagising nalang ako uli ng humingi ng tawad si inay sa akin. Galit man at sobrang nasasaktan, wala akong ibang nagawa kundi ang ngumiti.

nanaisin ko sanang huwag munang mag-asawa ng maaga. Upang hindi ko na maranasan yung sakit ng pagtaboy sa akin ng aking mga magulang na naging simula ng paghihirap ko.”, sinabi niya ring, “Sa kabila nito, pinipilit ko pa ring bumangon. Bago ako napunta sa kantina, dumadaan muna ako sa simbahan upang magdasal at mapagisa. Kapag nag-iisa ka, naiisip mo lahat ng bagay na nakasakit at nakakasakit sa’yo. Lahat lahat, kahit pa ibinaon mo Eccedentesiast: A person who na ito sa nakaraan. Ngunit kung lahat hides all their pain behind a ng tao na magpa-apekto dito, sweet smile.

I remember as a child my parents would always buy me crayons because I liked drawing so much that my crayons only lasted a few weeks before they were too short to work with. My drawings weren’t something I was proud of. In fact, all I ever did was make scribbles with one crayon, make more scribbles over the first layer of scribbles with a different color, and so on until I practically filled up the page with bursts of unorganized colors.

But besides that, I liked to draw planes. Airplanes—all painted in different colors. What I usually did was take the multicolored paper I drew on with my crayons and folded them to make paper airplanes. My parents collected these origami planes I did myself and hanged them on the ceiling of my bedroom. I came home one day from school to see the redecorating they did and I reverberated with joy. It was so beautiful—the bright colors of the airplanes floating above my room against the blue backdrop of my walls and ceiling.

They looked so peaceful, so majestic in my childish eyes. Sometimes I would open the window, letting the cool breezes blow the planes gently so they all were moving about, swaying and animated, as if tiny pilots were maneuvering them inside.

“Mommy, Daddy, I want to fly a plane someday!” I said. My eyes were sparkling with innocent delight.

“I want to be a pilot! A pilot!”

It seemed that the dream was so achievable then.

My parents warned me that becoming a pilot wasn’t easy and I have to study really hard because the course would require vast cognitive reserves and plenty of hard work. I listened to them.

The urge to fly a plane was so strong, that even as an elementary school pupil, I asked my parents to tutor me with high school algebra and such. Of course they agreed at first but ended up hiring an actual tutor because apparently they can’t keep up with all the math. My hard work excelled, I successfully claimed the top spot in class every year. And I was so confident that I will be able to become a pilot in no time.

But then, things happened. I excelled even in college. My hard work was rewarded with good grades for years, and my classmates have always looked up on me. My professors all knew me, and they would often use my name as an example of those exemplary students that would become successful in their chosen profession—those that would live their very dreams. Of course I couldn’t help but get flattered, but I never really boasted about it. Apparently because I did some things I wasn’t proud of—things that I was guilty for, things that I wished never to be known to anyone else.

Can you blame me? Is it really wrong to try to strive for your ultimate dream? I’ve always imagined myself sitting on the pilot’s chair, checking the plane’s status and steering the aircraft to stay within the trajectory given, not letting the slightest difference in angle to ever be committed.

The thrill of driving such machine—the thrill of being high up in the heavens would be pure bliss. It is what I love, what I dreamed of. And I was capable of providing every requirement asked for me to become a pilot—all except one.

My roommate, Lance, was an aspiring pilot as well, but he was having trouble with keeping up with our major. Willingly, I helped him. Every night after class I would tutor him. To be completely honest, I envied him. He may lack the knowledge that I was blessed with, but he was determined. Because of me he aced his classes. Lance became a pilot, and ironically enough, I did not.

“Hey Mom, Dad,” he said, a grin brightening up his face. “Can I fly a plane one day? I want to become a pilot!”

I wasn’t fit to even enroll in flight school in the first place. I cheated my results so I could get in. But eventually they found out.

They found out that I’m color blind.

It’s silly, how one little detail of yourself could hinder you from ever achieving your lifelong dream. I can’t become a pilot because I’m genetically color blind. It seems so insignificant, and yet, it is the major factor the kept me disabled. It’s like wanting to win a marathon when you don’t have legs or wanting to be composer when you’re deaf. Beethoven did it, but unlike him, I was restricted by law. It devastates me to know that I can’t do anything. There’s no hope. So here I am, working as an engineer. It’s a good job but, it never will be as good as becoming a pilot.

I just hate how students, who are clearly capable enough of becoming professionals of their chosen fields, choose to give up because school’s “too hard.” Getting there will never be easy. But at least you’re not like me. You still have all the chances—all you have to do is grab ‘em. On the Brightside, I’ve made a plane. It’s just a small one: A decorative airplane with reflective glass, coated with tints so when the light hits the surface, a spectrum of pretty colors would been seen. I gave it to my son for his 12th birthday. My wife and I hanged the plane on his bedroom, and it acted much like a chandelier. The look on his face—joy, amazement, hope—reminded me of myself when I was around his age.

And then, I saw it coming. “Hey Mom, Dad,” he said, a grin brightening up his face. “Can I fly a plane one day? I want to become a pilot!”

And lucky enough, he hadn't inherited the specific gene from me.

“I can clearly there we just refus

As I slowly reached for roughness of his stubbles. His which is taller than me at this my touch. I was about to rem hand in the arch of my back. fear. It gives me thousands of I don’t know why but the wor can spend eternity holding his be with this man. After a whil me from head to foot, as if I a then and there I saw someth voice out. Happiness, longing, we have denied ourselves abo there we just refuse to believe his soul. We found something he makes me shine.

Narito na siya. Panigurado tat presensya na palaging naghahari sa opi makaasta. Hindi namin maintindihan ku Sa loob ng sampung taon, ni hindi namin

Tuwing kakain kaming magkaka Lagi siyang nag-oovertime. Gusto ko pinanghihinaan ako ng loob. Baka hindi galit. Hahayaan ko na lang siya. Tutal p Pero malabo mangyari yun.

Tuwing Biyernes, maaga umaalis. Walang patid. Walang palya. nakakaalam saan siya pumupunta. Mis oo. Pero walang gustong alamin kung s nagtutungo. Kahit kailan, hindi siya lum oras na hindi siya pinag-usapan. Maram nobyo. Natawa na lang ako sapagkat ni ng iba baka nagkasakit. Sa loob ng 1 nagkaroon siya ng sakit. Nakakabilib. Ka

Aaminin ko, may lihim akong may natatago siyang katangiang magug ganoong sitwasyon? Bakit? Madami ako kami, buong tapang ko siyang tatanu nararamdaman ko.

Maaga akong pumasok sa opi mamahaling tsokolate.

B ligaw.

Hindi sila ligaw sa babaeng Oo, madaming maginoo. Lahat na ko.

Habang babaeng naglalakad sa lalaking inaantay ang siya dala ang mga siya. May siya.

see it like the water on a fresh pond, it is love, and it has always been se to believe so.”

r his face, he locked his eyes on mine. I can feel the softness in his cheeks and the s lips are parted and he seems to grasps for air, the tension is rising. My anxiety, s very moment, makes me speechless. He closed his eyes as if savoring every bit of move my hands, when he held it and placed it in his left chest. I can feel his left . My pulse worked double time, my blood rushed. I felt the excitement as well as f unexplainable tingling sensation. I can feel his heartbeat, I can feel mine as well. rld seems to stop, I don’t know how long we held each other. But let me tell you, I s beautiful face and strong chest. I could trade everything I have in this world just to le, we are consumed with something inexplicable. He opened his eyes and looked at am a work of art and he is the artist. I fluttered my eye lashes, and he smirked. Right hing in his eyes, my reflection. But more than that, there is something we both never bother , need, pain, selfishness, selflessness, sadness, grief, and… Now it seems very clear, no matter how many times out this simple pleasure. I can clearly see it like the water on a fresh pond, it is love, and it has always been e so. But now, we are both strong enough to face it. He enveloped me in his arms, kissed me, and guided me to g that we both could treasure for the rest of our lives: forgiveness and true love. It is very crystal. He is my sun,

SUN

tahimik na naman ang lahat. Ang nakakarindi nyang Pumasok siya sa opisina ng boss namin. Matagal. Inabot ng isang oras ang isina. Sekretarya lamang ngunit daig pa ang boss kung pamamalagi niya sa loob. Inaasahan namin na may dala-dala siyang papeles gaya ng lagi ung bakit ganoon siya. Kung bakit galit siya sa mundo. niyang ginagawa ngunit wala. Wala siyang dala. Nakayuko siyang lumabas ng opisina. Inilagay n siya nakitang ngumiti o nakihalubilo sa'min. niya sa kahon ang mga gamit niya sa kanyang mesa. Nagbubulungan na ang lahat.

Kinakabahan ako. Iba ang nararamdaman ko. Naglakad siya dala-dala ang kahon. Hindi ako a-opisina, hindi siya sumasabay. Maging tuwing uwian. makakilos. Gusto ko siyang tulungan ngunit hindi ko magawa. Anong nangyayari? Pwede ko o siyang lapitan. Gusto ko siyang kausapin. Ngunit bang malaman? Pwede ba akong magtanong? Kailangan ko ng sagot. i niya ako pansinin. Baka mapagbuntungan niya ako ng pinili niya yan. Narito lang kami kung kailangan niya.

Nagulat ang lahat ng biglang lumabas si boss. Hinabol siya at kinausap ng masinsinan. Pinigil siya nitong bumitaw sa kanyang tungkulin bilang sekretarya. Mas lalong nagulat siyang ang lahat sa mga sumunod na nangyari. Niyakap Walang siya ni boss at inaming may gusto ito sa kanya. steryosa, Maging siya, nagulat. Bumitaw siya sa saan siya pagkakayakap. Umalis siya na tila walang nangyari. miban sa opisina. Maliban ngayong araw. Halos walang Hindi ko nagawa ang dapat na gagawin ko. Wala na bang pagkakataon? Huli na ba ang lahat? ming haka-haka na baka hiniwalayan siya ng kanyang i wala ngang nakapagpatunay na may nobyo siya. Sabi Ilang buwan matapos ang pangyayaring iyon, sariwa pa rin ang mga nangyari. Hindi 10 taon na nagkasama kami, ni hindi ko narinig na pa rin makapaniwala ang lahat. Ako, tahimik tuwing tatanungin kung ano ang reaksyon ko akaibang babae. tungkol roon. Naglalakad ako pauwi nang bigla kong nakita ang isang pamilyar na mukha.

Hindi ako pwedeng magkamali, siya yun. Ang nag-iisang babaeng bumihag sa puso ko. Ibangpagtingin sa kanya. Kahit na ganoon siya, alam kong iba siya ngayon. Ang bawat ngiti niya na kahit sinong lalaki ay mapapaibig. Ito na ang gustuhan ng lahat. Takot ba siya? Bakit pinili niya ang pagkakataon ko. ong tanong na naghahanap ng kasagutan. Pag nagkita ungin. Buong tapang kong ipagtatapat sa kanya ang Lalapitan ko na sana siya nang biglang may 3 batang lumapit sa kanya. Naguluhan ako. May anak na ba siya? Kung ganon, may asawa na siya? Hindi. Hindi pwede. Bakit di ko isina. Dala-dala ko ang mababangong bulaklak at ang alam? Bakit di niya sinabi? Marami akong tanong na hanggang ngayon walang sagot.

Biniro pa ako tungkol sa suot ko. Tipong aakyat ng Sinundan ko siya kasama ang 3 bata. Kahit anong mangyari, aalamin ko ang sagot. nagkakamali. Aakyat ako ng ligaw. Aakyat ako ng Kinakabahan ako. Hindi ako mapakali. Hindi ako handang masaktan. Bakit? Bakit ikaw pa? kahit kailan hindi ko inisip na magugustuhan ko. nagkakandarapa sa’kin.

Gwapo, matalino, Tumigil ang taxi na sinasakyan nila sa isang bahay. Sa isang bahay-ampunan. Bumaba daw nasa ‘kin. Pero isang babae lang ang tinignan ako sa kotse ko. Patuloy ko siyang sinundan. Pumasok ako sa loob ng bahay-ampunan.

Madaming bata. Mga batang tila walang problemang hinaharap. Bata pa nga sila. Hinanap ko inaayos ko ang kwelyo ko, bigla akong napatingin sa siya hanggang sa makarating ako sa isang kwartong puno ng mga larawan. Natulala na lang gitna. Gumana ang imahinasyon ko. Tila isa akong ako sa mga nakita ko. Nakangiti siya sa mga larawan kasama ang mga bata. Malayong-malayo babaeng aking pakakasalan. Haharangin ko na sana sa nakagisnan naming siya. May isang binata na lumapit sa’kin. Tinanong ko siya kung sino bulaklak at tsokolate kaso mukhang nagmamadali ang nasa larawan. Nalaman ko na sampung taon na pala siyang naglilingkod sa bahaypagkakataon pa naman. Mamaya kakausapin ko na ampunan. Tuwing Biyernes, dinadalhan niya ng pasalubong ang mga bata. Napahanga ako sa kanya. Nalaman ko rin na iniwan niya ang kanyang trabaho upang alagaan ang mga bata.

Paalis na ako nang may narinig akong kantahan ng mga bata. Sinilip ko at nakita ko siya.

Masayang nakikipagkantahan sa mga bata. Umalis ako ng hindi ko siya kinausap.

“Sumakay ako sa kotse. May mga ngiti sa labi na hindi maalis sa’kin. Hindi ako nagkamali.”

Sumakay ako sa kotse. May mga ngiti sa labi na hindi maalis sa’kin. Hindi ako nagkamali. Kakaibang babae nga siya. Isang babaeng hindi makasarili. Inilalaan ang oras mapadama lang ang pagmamahal sa mga bata na maaaring hindi nila nadama. Paano na ang lihim kong pagtingin sa kanya? Kung siya ang babaeng inilaan ng Diyos sa’kin, dadating at dadating din ang oras namin. Kung hindi naman siya, alam kong may itinadhana ang Diyos. Ang kailangan ko lang ay maghintay. Ito lang ang tanong ko na nagkaroon ng kasagutan.

The soldier lay injured on the dusty soil. Blood was seeping through his skin, his limbs were far from being in a healthy state.

From afar I heard loud cheering as the battle was claimed victorious by the British soldiers, I, being one of them. In my arms the large loaded gun laid heavily, the burden getting much harder to bear the longer I hesitate to shoot the man in front of me who was severely hurt and barely conscious. His eyes fought the threatening insistence of his lids to close, as if scared of the possibility of never waking again. I grunted, pointing the gun to the ground as I slid it off my frame and took pity on the dying German.

“Get up!” I yelled as I crouched in front of him, my arms beginning to relieve him of his

loaded arms before I carried his entire weight. Through the British encampment I carried the enemy on my back, making the officers and the soldiers from my unit shoot me bizarre looks. I took him to the infirmary and raised him back to health myself. And as to why I did it, I had no satisfying answer.

Maybe I wasn’t made to fight in wars—I didn’t know who my ally was and who was not. But I thought what I did was the right thing. In war, the world was never painted in multicolor. The only hues that you can ever be able to see were black, white, and furious red. Black—the guns and bullets and raging bombs and mines that might kill you at any hour. Black was the threat of death, and white was the promise of home. White was the glory you bring to your homeland, the security you could offer your family through risking your own. And red, red was blood. Red was the guilt that comes after the moment your bullet penetrated the enemy’s skin. Red was the lust for violence that can be evoked after you killed a soldier.

And after a time, you’ll start to lose yourself—you would become addicted to ending more lives. But in the end, the Germans were just like me—just following orders. I didn’t want that. I was scared of the person I was becoming. And I thought saving that soldier’s life would make up for all the immorality I had done. But I was wrong. It was a grave mistake.

“He escaped. Now he ranked up and led Germany to another war,” said a fellow soldier, his arms crossed as he glanced at the printed photo of the same soldier I rescued from the threats of death. I held the newspaper tightly, my grip wrinkling the fragile paper. “It can’t be,” I muttered, eyes wide unable to comprehend how significant that German was. “I saved this man—“ “Exactly!” He slammed his fists on the table, his brows furrowed as he glared angrily at me. “You should’ve killed him!”

His other hand shot forward to grab me by my collar and pulled me harshly. “He was your enemy. Now look at him. He’s going to kill millions of lives, you bloody prick! And every single life he would take, half of the blame will be on you.” But I only thought I was doing the right thing! It was true however, what he said. If I just did my job and killed him when he was most vulnerable, he would never have rose to the position he was in. And how was I supposed to continue living after this discovery, I didn’t know. But I do know that I’m going to die fighting a war that the German I pitied upon started.

Sometimes white gets tainted and becomes black, and sometimes black can be washed to become white. But red, red can only fade or get brighter. And sometimes, righteousness doesn’t mean justice.

It was morning. The sun sparkled gold across the window in my room. Summer season actually started today. I took a glance in our window and saw our neighbor packing up for their summer outing to a resort near our area. I just hope that I can also have a vacation this summer. I work as a supervisor in a clothing line company. Since, this kind of industry is always at its peak, I experience seldom vacations.

I am going to work today and for the rest of the summer vacation. This is what you call “workation”. Anyway, I receive monthly salaries that are enough to sustain my needs and necessities of my family. The company I’m working at is not that far. We live in the city so the establishments here are just at a walking distance. Whenever I get tired of my work the previous day, I ride by my car as a fast mean of transportation for the next day. Since I woke up early this morning, I decided not to get to the office using my car, instead, I’ll just walk to have at least a little exercise and breathe in fresh air along the road.

It is a misunderstanding that if you’re living in a city, your place is totally polluted. Well, not here. Our city is composed of trees planted along the road. In addition, the cars here are not using gasoline. Instead, solar energy was used five years ago. There is a place here called “Fifth Avenue” where there is a long line of department stores that offer different styles of clothes and other fashion-related stuffs.

I saw girls, out shopping for one of the awaited seasons of the year, wearing their sexy tank tops paired with acid-wash shorts. I passed by the department stores which are all dressed up for this holiday. I decided to walk in this route because I want to look for any summer dress I could wear if ever I’ll be able to come in the summer getaway organized by my college friends.

Not too far from my position, I saw a very nice lady. Maybe she’s same as my age. She is so beautiful. She has a gorgeous and toned body.

Her long curly and perfectly blow dried auburn hair increased her sex appeal. She has red, full lips and long-lashed brown eyes. For sure, every guy would go head over heels over her. I think, not only the guys. I’m also starting to like her although I’m also a woman. I can visualize that she’s wearing a black dress sparkled with silver glitters and holding an orange Hermes bag. She wore a four-inch stiletto with a clear Perspex heels. She has a pearl sheen type of skin. It made me think that I want to touch her. What’s happening to me? Oh my. Am I bisexual now? It can’t be.

I decided to forget about the lady I saw and proceeded to my work. I started to walk and to my surprise, she also walked towards the same direction. The only difference is that I was at the opposite side of the street. She is like Aphrodite of the ancient mythology, the goddess of beauty. I can’t resist her irresistible charm. I’m now confused with my gender. Well, I don’t care. All I want now is to meet her and introduce myself to her. I crossed the street where I saw her. I was glad because she was staring at me too. Does it mean I have any chance to her? I really love her beauty. I smiled and she smiled too. I took one step closer to her and she did it also. I was about to kiss her in the cheeks when I suddenly bumped into a hard surface. I looked closely to that hard surface then suddenly I burst out laughing. I found out that it is a department store window and the beautiful lady I saw was just my reflection.

Komplikadong Bakit Anj

Tuwing gabi, bago pumikit,

Zzz. Zzz. Zzz. Bigla akong nagising nang mahulog ako sa kama ko. Hinanap ko ang cellphone ko at papungas-pungas kong tiningnan kung anong oras na. Hala lagot! 6:20 na! Agad akong bumangon para maligo. Mabilis lang lahat pati pagbibihis ko. Halos di na ako nakaalmusal sa sobrang pagmamadali. Bakit

ba kasi di nag-alarm yung alarm clock ko?

Naturingang alarm clock di naman nagaalarm. Nakita ko yung alarm clock ko sa bedside table. Hindi ko pala na-set kagabi.

Oo na, sige na. Kasalanan ko na. Kinapakapa ko ang black shoes ko sa ilalim ng kama, wala doon. Ano ba naman yan! Nakita ko yung black shoes ng kapatid kong grade 6, pinagtiyagaan ko yung sapatos niya kahit na parang magdudugo na yung paa ko sa sobrang sikip. Pero, ayos lang. Kasi kung hahanapin ko pa yung shoes ko, lalo lang ako male-late. Agad na kong lumabas ng bahay at nag-abang ng jeep.

“Ahh. Sige mauuna na ko late na rin Hindi ko makakalimutang sumambit kasi ako e,” yun na lamang ang nasambit ko sa babae.

Alam ko medyo rude yung pagkakasabi ko. Late na rin kasi ako. At least, alam kong di ako nag-iisang late.

Naisip ko, kasalanan din naman niya kung bakit siya pinagalitan. Late na nga, tapos wala pang assignment. Pumasok pa siya di ba? Sana di nalang. Hahaha. Bigla akong natigilan. Assignment . Hala! May assignment nga pala kami sa math. Binuksan ko na naman ang bag ko at kinalkal ko para hanapin yung assignment ko na nasa bond paper.

Hanap. Hanap. Hanap. Ayun! Nakita ko na. Muli kong chineck ang relo ko, 7:30 na! Nako! 30 minutes late. Agad akong tumakbo papuntang 3rd floor. Eto na.

Konting konti nalang nasa 4th floor na ako.

Alam kong sa itsurang kong to ngayon, mapagkakamalan akong walang tulog at naka-drugs. 7:40AM na. Alam kong sobra sobra na ang pagkalate ko, pero gusto ko paring pumasok. Atsaka di ba, may saying na “Better late than never.” Pagdating ko sa room namin, dahan dahan akong tumingkayad at sumilip sa may pinto para makita ko kung anong ginagawa nila.

Lagot na naman ako neto sa prof. ko. Math ang first subject ko at eto ako ngayon nakasakay ng jeep papuntang school. Napakabagal naman nitong jeep na’to! Kung kelan ka nagmamadali tsaka naman pick-up ng pick-up ng pasahero.

Bawat kanto atang makikita nito, hinihintuan niya para lang magpasakay ng pasahero.

Pero di ko naman siya masisisi, hanapbuhay Halos panghinaan ako sa nakita kong niya yun. Kaso lang, paano naman ako? ginagawa nila. May mga sinasagutan sila sa Manong! Malelate na ko. Magdrive ka na isang dilaw na papel. Naiiyak na ko. pleaseee! At anak ng! Nagpagasolina pa. Ano Nasayang lahat. Hindi kasi yellow paper ang ba naman yan. tinutukoy ko. Nagkakamali ka. Worksheet ang ibig kong sabihin. Pang accounting Tiningnan ko ang relo ko. Ten subject namin yung ganung klase ng papel, minutes nalang before 7am. Malayo pa ko sa at isa lang ang ibig sabihin neto. WALA SI school. Hindi na talaga ko aabot. Hay! Ang MAAAAM! Pagkatapos ng lahat ng mga tindi pa ng traffic sa hi-way. After 20 minutes aberyang naranasan ko, nasayang lang ang natanaw ko na ang school namin. Eto na pagmamadali ko. Hindi ko alam kung pababa na ko. Teka lang. Parang may matutuwa ako kasi wala si mam, o maiinis kulang. Naku lagot! Yung ID ko! Kapag ako dahil na-haggard ako ng sobra dahil sa minamalas ka nga naman oh. Pagkababa ko pagmamadali para lang sa wala. Nasayang ng jeep, tumabi muna ako sa gilid para lahat—effort at pagod, hanapin yung ID ko. Kinalkal ko yung bag ko idagdag mo pa ang hanggang sa, ayun! Nakita ko na! Agad kong nagsakripisyo kong sinuot ang ID ko at pumasok na sa loob ng paa na tiniis ko ng campus. Halos wala na kong matanaw na sobra ang kirot at mga tao. Malamang nagkaklase na ang sakit. Para akong karamihan kaya ganun. sinakluban ng langit sa nangyaring ito.

7:20 na sa relo ko. 20 minutes late Daig ko pa ang nana ko, at take note sa 4th floor pa ang klase holdap sa itsura ko ko. Friday the 13th ba ngayon? Bakit ngayon. napakamalas ko ata. Anyway, naglalakad ako sa hallway. Actually takbo na ‘tong ginagawa Basta, one ko. Binilisan ko ang takbo hanggang sa thing I’ve makarating ako ng second floor. Napadaan l e a r n e d : ako sa Room 213, may isang babaeng D o n ’ t umiiyak sa labas ng pinto. Na-curious ako f o r g e t kaya tinanong ko kung bakit siya umiiyak, to set ang sabi niya,

y o u r “Wala akong assignment. Tapos late a l a r m pa ko. Kaya ayun, nagalit ang prof. ko at clock. pinalabas niya ko. Huhuhu.”

ng mga salitang sa aking isipa'y nakakapit.

Bakit? Bakit? Bakit?

Ang mga salitang hindi mawala sa aking isip.

Ano bang meron at ako'y parang hinihila ng isang hagupit, at lalamuna'y di na makasambit.

Bawat tao'y may pagtataka, Kung bakit lahat tayo'y may pagkakaiba.

Siguro nga maswerte siya, at sa isip mo'y malas ka.

Sana iba nalang ako, At naging katulad nalang niya 'ko.

Dahil sa tingin ko, mas sasaya ko sa buhay niyang parang walang pagkalito.

Pero Juan, nagkakamali ka.

Ang pagtataka mo'y komplikado.

Nilikha ka ng Diyos para magpahayag, Nilikha ka ng Diyos para magbahagi, Nilikha ka ng Diyos para magmahal, Hindi para manisi at mainggit sa kapwa mong may dangal.

Wag mong hayaang ang inggit sa iyong puso'y manatili, Maging kontento kung anong taglay ng iyong sarili.

Magsimula ka ng magtanong, Sa sarili mong walang batid kundi bakit.

Baka ikaw lang ay nananaginip, At nakalimutan ng pumikit.

Pati sarili'y kinalimutang tanungin, "Ano bang pagkukulang ko at hindi ko maabot ang kagustuhan kong marating?"

HIDDEN AGENDA

Lex

What you see is what you get. But not everything that you see is real.

Let us be enlightened, people. Not everything is true. Some things are fake. Not just because your mom says you’re beautiful really means you are. Not just because your boyfriend says you’re sexy really means you are. Not just because someone says she loves you means you need to love her back.

There are things some people say just to make you happy. Maybe because they love you, but maybe because they want something from you.

Charlatan. That’s their name. Praising you when you’re together but cursing you when they’re alone. People who do this are fake.

Try to evaluate and think. Who among your friends were there when you’re sad? Good friends are there when you’re smiling, while true friends are there when you’re at your weakest.

Hidden agenda. They really want something from you. And in able to get that, they must love you first. They will betray you afterwards. And the feeling will knock you down. The feeling of being left by not just a friend, but getting something that you worked on since before.

Now, ask yourself. Do you know someone like them? Or are you one of them?

TARA Instagram is well flooded with photos of yourself, Twitter is well informed of what you do every passing hour, and you tend to overuse Facebook’s like button. A typical lifestyle of a social-media-savvy person. Most of us are guilty of posting too many pictures of ourselves—taken by ourselves, or sharing too many updates about your everyday life. Normal for a typical college student with a generation obsessed with socializing. But, these acts may not be as harmless as we think.

Social media tools like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, have been guilty of bringing out the Narcissus in many of us.

Ever heard of this Narcissus I am talking about? According to Mythology, he is man so beautiful that many women seek his affection. Not once did he fall for any of them, but the moment he saw his own reflection on the water, he immediately fell in love with himself, proclaiming that no one on the face of this earth can match the beauty he beheld. So where am I going with this?

According to Psychologist Dr. Larry Rosen, author of iDisorder: Understanding Our Obsession With Technology And Overcoming Its Hold on Us, that “those Facebook likes give us a shot of a little chemical called dopamine, which is associated with happiness.” We all feel good when a good number of our friends hit like on a status or photo of ours. We achieve this tremendous feeling of success and joy. Such instances can lead to an unhealthy self-obsession.

Sometimes it has been more important for us to count the number of likes and great comments that we get than to actually present ourselves in the real world. We want assurance from these online friends. We want the world to know that hey, I’m living a great life. It can be really good if provided with healthy doses. I mean, it’s fun right?

But the internet can be very dangerous. It can make us anxious about what other people think of us. What if there are only two people who liked your photo? What if no one commented on your blog post? What if your high school classmate deletes you from her friends list? We get pleasure by our friends responding to us and giving us assurance of how adorbs or astig we are, but it provides anxiety by getting no response, or getting responses the way you didn’t expect. It can lead to troubling thoughts. It can lead to unwanted rivalry. It can lead to doubt. Yes, you are a wonderful person, but you might not believe this because of what people are saying.

It’s good to feel good about yourself. It’s good to be happy. But we need to focus on more important things rather than just worry about how you look in this selfie. Don’t measure your popularity or success through the number of your followers, because in real life, that doesn’t really matter. Keep in mind that you should use these social media tools to connect with friends and family rather than just to promote your own. The people close to you could provide you the best assertion that you are a great person.

They can give you the best kind of happiness there is.

Life in the other side of the world Bianca Marie

Have you been in the other side of the world? Me too. I don’t even know where it is. But why am I writing about this? Maybe there’s a reason. Maybe the other side I’m referring to is not literally the ‘other side’ of the world. It’s the side of the world where everyone doesn’t care about. People are hopeless. They don’t care about each other. They are selfish. They only care about their own good. It doesn’t matter if they step on other’s life as long as they achieve what they want. Darkness covers their hearts. They are EVIL. No, I’m just kidding. They’re not evil. Maybe they just need enough attention to change.

People can change. As the saying goes, Change is the permanent thing in this world. Certain factors can change them such as attention.

Attention is a crucial part in our life. If we don’t receive enough attention we’ve been looking for, it can change us including our personality and values in life. Those people who are not reciprocated by somebody are most likely to be selfish, stubborn and irascible. They are the ones who live in the other side of the world.

Let’s not live in the other side of the world. Be optimistic about things. Don’t be a pessimist. Everything happens for a reason.

Every day is full of hope. If you are suffering from a problem, just let it go. As they say, there is always sunshine after the rain. Start with yourself. Smile at people, and you can make a change.

Pudgy cheeks!

OOTD

Litratista

Krisstal

As I were persistently vying For that one perfect selfie While you ruin the picture every time, Expediently, clandestinely enjoying Tagaktak na ang pawis, lapot na ang make That feeling of your pudgy up. cheeks Pressed into mine!

Sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos, para bang ako’y laging may katuos.

Sa harap ng salamin ay nagiging mahinhin, (patwitams din pag may time, uso naman yan diba?).

Lahat ng damit sa tukador ni mama, ate pati na rin kay papa, nagamit, pinilit, pinagkasya. makuhanan lang ng lente ng kamera, solb na!

Baduy man o “in”, vintage man o revealing, bakit ba? OOTD ko yan sa instagram at fb, post na!

Selfie’ Litratista

Certain expressions Portrayed by reflections Communicates affection To the exposed section

CORE Gabriel A common reflection Exposes a section of a section Mirror friction Reveals mere friction Your selfies are always ready, never messy A pocket mirror, antenna included Is a perfect filter, flaws excluded And a bunch of expressions, I see Remember this, I say Nobody wants a person who depends on filter Just to look better But his/her heart is made of clay And at the end of the day You will still be a loser Trying hard to be a winner And eating up the dust in the way

Saturn Rings Kathleen Cates

Marvelous is He who created you and your rings.

I wonder how much time He has spent for you!

Your radiance is incomparable, All beyond comprehension.

I wish to see more, But It’s impossible.

All that I have are seconds, Not enough to behold your beauty.

With an eye and a glimpse, I am such in awe!

Please do not hide from me, you and your crystallized rings.

Jonathan Why am I such a fool?

I can’t stop myself rom loving you...

Those countless nights I’ve cried for you, Just because my feelings are true.

You’re up and down, Your feelings are all around.

Don’t lie to me, You don’t love me.

I’ve spent so long waiting for you, No there’s nothing I can do.

I can’t stop myself from loving you, Even though I wanted to.

I can cry all I want, But I can’t pass it off as nonchalant.

My feelings can’t just fly away, Coz they are here to stay.

Piss me off and make me cry, Please just lie.

Make me hate you, Last thing I want is to love you.

I want to move on and have a life, I’ve always wanted you as my wife.

But I can’t do this, not anymore, My heart is too sore.

I can’t deal with more heartbreak, I don’t have any heart left to ache.

“Tara

na, Tay”

Angela S. Pineda

Bakasyon, alas tres ng madaling araw ng gisingin ako ni itay, tipunin ko na daw ang mga batang kinidnap niya na nakakalat sa lansangan. Hindi ko mawaring na ganito na ang naging pananaw ni itay sa buhay, ni hindi niya manlang maipasok sa kanyang isipan na maghanap ng marangal na trabaho.

“Hoy, Intoy ano pang tinutunganga mo diyan? Wag mong antaying paluin kita ng dos por dos o mas gusto mo pa atang paluhurin kita sa asin at paluin ng sinturon ko?!”

“Haruy, Diyos ko po…tulungan po ninyo ako.” Hindi ko na napigilang sambitin ang linyang iyan. Ang Diyos na ang bahala kay itay.

Mag aalas-sais na ng umaga ng makumpleto ang bilang ng mga batang pinatipon ni Itay, kahit ang tatlo dito ay nilalagnat na, tuloy pa rin, kung hindi baka mamatay pa ang mga ito dulo’t ng palo at gulpi ni itay.

“Intoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! !!!” napakalakas ng sigaw ni itay mula sa palikuran malapit sa lumang bodega na tinitirahan ng mga kawawang batang ito.

“Kompleto na ho itay!!!”

“Hoy!!!!! Bataaaa!!! Bumalik ka rito!!” “ H a h a h a h a h a h a h a ” “Hahahahahahahahaha” tawa ng tawa ang ibang mga batang nasa grupo habang hinahabol ko si Buninoy na laging tumatakas pag nasa pila na.

“Mga &(&_$#$@_ niyo!!!!! Magsipila nga kayo!!” dumating na si itay, sinidihan na ang kanyang sigarilyo sabay tapon sa nagamit na palito ng posporo.

Agad na pumila at umayos ang mga bata.

“Bago mag alas singko ng hapon dapat naka trenta o sikwenta na ang bawat isa sa inyo kung hindi wala kayong kakainin buong araw! Nagkakaintindihan?!!!!” lalong nanlaki ang mga mata ni itay ng sambitin niya iyon.

Agad na kinuha ng mga bata ang kanya kanya nilang lata na paglalagyan ng limos. At ang trabaho ko sa buong araw ay bantayan ang mga batang ito at kapag tumakas ang isa man sa kanila ako ang malalagot kay itay.

Ilang beses na rin nangyayari iyon, hindi ko alam kung saan ko hinuhugot ang lakas ng loob at tibay ng damdamin na nakakaya ko pa rin tiisin ang lahat ng gulpi at mura ni itay sa akin. Pero kahit pa man ganoon, kapag pasukan na, hindi niya kinakalimutan na bigyan ako ng pagkakataon na pumasok sa eskwela. Sa ganoong paraan nararamdaman ko pa rin na mahal ako ni itay, siguro lang talaga ay sa panggugulpi niya binabawi ang kirot sa sakit na nararamdaman niya matapos itakas ni inay ang 2 kong kapatid na kambal kasama ang kanong mukhang kwago na gumastos para makalipad sila papuntang America at matapos noon ay wala na kaming balita sa kanila.

Alas singko ng makarating kami sa bodega, salamat naman at walang nagtangkang tumakas, kumpleto ang lahat pero hindi ko alam kung nagawa nilang makakolekta ng trenta pesos na limos.

Hindi ko rin maintindihan kung bakit parang masaya pa ang mga batang ito sa pinapagawa sa kanila. Sabi nga ni Buninoy ng magkausap kami na masaya na rin daw siya kahit papano, may nakakain sa araw-araw, nagkakaroon ng pagkakataong makipaglaro sa mga batang nang magtagal tagal ay parang magkakapatid na rin ang turingan sa isa’t isa, nakakapasyal, nakakasalamuha ng iba’t ibang mukha at nakaranas na makaramdam ng kalinga ng isang ama (ama ko) kahit sa ganoong paraan lamang. Bata pa daw

kasi si Buninoy ay namatay na ang ama nito, swerte ko pa rin daw dahil nakakasama ko pa si itay kahit na ganoon ang ginagawa niya. Mahigit tatlong taon na niyang ginagawa ang ganitong paraan para makalikom siya ng pera—ang pag gamit sa mga batang nakukuha niya para manlimos ng pera para sa kanya.

“Intoyyyyyyy!”

Malamang isa lang ang ibig sabihin niyan, na papilahin na ang mga bata at lumarga na.

Pero hindi pala. Pero hindi pala. “Pero hindi pala.............”

Si itay nakahilatay na sa sahig, nakahawak sa kanyang dibdib at kitang kita sa kanyang mukha ang iniindang sakit. Inaatake si itay! Ano ang aming gagawin? Wala kaming pera. Hindi namin kaya si itay, mabigat siya, isa siyang malaking tao, wala kaming sasakyan, walang telepono para sa ambulansya, hindi pwedeng mamatay si itay.

“Hindi pwedeng mamatay si itay..”

Ang mga batang ito ay tinipon ang lahat ng baryang kanilang naipon, naitabi, mga kinupit, matapos nito ay nagtulungan kaming buhatin si itay para isakay sa side car ni manong na nangangalakal, kamalas malasan pa’t kulang sa hangin ang isang gulong nito, walang anuano’y nagtulungan kaming itulak ito para madala na si itay sa pinaka malapit na ospital.

Pero, hindi pa ganoon kalayo ang nararating namin ay lumaylay na ang isang kamay ni itay at unti unting pumikit ang kanyang mga mata, hindi na natibok ang pulso nito, wala na si itay. Nanlumo at biglang nanghina ako, tumulo ang aking mga luha, binuhat namin si itay para ihiga sa isang upuang semento. May nalaglag, isang portamoneda, pinulot ni Buninoy at iniabot sa akin.

Binuksan ko at may isang papel na nakatiklop.

“Intoy, Una sa lahat ay nagpapasalamat ako dahil sa kabila ng mga masasamang bagay na nasasabi ko sa’yo, sa kabila ng pang gugulpi ko sa’yo ay hindi mo nagawang umalis sa tabi ko.

Intoy, alam kong hindi ako naging isang mabuting ama sa iyo pero tandaan mo na ikaw ay naging isang mabuting anak sa akin. Ang tanging hiling ko lang naman ay makasama mo ang iyong ina at iyong mga kapatid na kambal na miss na miss ko na, kahit kasama mo man ang kanong kwagong iyon wag mong pagpapalit ang itay mo ha? Tapusin mo ang iyong pagaaral at ang mga batang iyan ay pauwiin mo na sa kanilang mga tahanan. Mahal na mahal kita anak. Patawarin mo sana ako.

Nagmamahal, Itay Lalong tumulo ang luha ko sa aking nabasa, binuklat ko ulit ang portamoneda ni itay, doon ay may isa pang nakatiklop na papel, binuksan ko ulit ang ikalawang papel.

“Para kay Buninoy.”

Yun lang ang tanging nakasulat “para kay buninoy.”

Lumapit sa akin si buninoy at may kinuha mula sa kanyang bulsa.

“Ohhh ito tol, wag ka ng umiyak.”

Inabot ni Buninoy sa akin ang isang sobre. Nagulat ako at naglalaman ito ng papel na pera.

“Para saan ito?” pagtatakang sinabi ko.

“Bumili ka daw ng ticket papuntang America, ito yung address ng bahay ng kanong mukhang kwago, mamimiss ka namin.”

Nginitian ko si Buninoy at niyakap ko ang lahat ng bata.

Habang naglalakad papunta sa aming bahay, napa tingin ako sa langit. “Tara na itay, sama ka sakin.”

Walang Title Marie Bianca

Mahal ko siya. Walang duda. Handa akong gawin ang lahat para sa kanya. Kahit buhay ay handa kong ialay. Sobra na daw pero para sa’kin kulang pa. Maraming nagsasabing lolokohin lang niya ako pero hindi ako nagpapaapekto. Alam kong mahal niya din ako. Alam ko.

Isang taon na kaming magnobyo’t nobya ni Jasmine.

Masasabi kong naging masaya naman ang aming pagsasama.

Nagkakaroon ng mga problema ngunit, amin itong nalalagpasan. Alam kong siya na ang babaeng pakakasalan ko.

Siya na yun.

Pumunta ako ng probinsya at nanatili dun ng isang buwan. Hindi ko nakakaligtaan na tawagan siya. Sa katunayan, araw-araw akong tumatawag upang kumustahin siya.

Nagkaroon ng malakas na bagyo sa probinsya na naging dahilan ng pananatili ko pa ng dalawang linggo. Hindi ko na siya nagawang tawagan pa. Maiintindihan naman nya siguro yun. Sana. Sana.

Umuwi ako sa Maynila matapos ang mahabang panahon ng pananatili ko sa probinsya. Una ko siyang dinalaw ngunit pagpunta ko sa kanila, wala siya. May pinuntahan raw.

Sayang. Sosorpresahin ko sana siya. Alam kong matutuwa yun.

Pag-uwi ko sa’min, maraming nagbubulungan. Bulungan rito, bulungan roon. Para bang ako ang pinag-uusapan. Ngunit ipinagsawalang-bahala ko na lang. Sinubukan ko siyang tawagan pero hindi siya sumasagot. Baka may inaasikaso lang.

Pinuntahan ko muli siya sa kanila. Naabutan ko siya.

Niyaya ko siyang lumabas ngunit humindi siya. Pagod daw siya. Inintindi ko na lamang iyon. Nanatiili ako sa kanila.

Kinuwentuhan ko siya tungkol sa bakasyon ko sa probinsya.

Sinabi ko din sa kanya na sobra ko siyang na-miss. Ngunit tila ba isa akong baliw na nakikipag-usap sa hangin. Muli ko siyang inunawa. Baka sobrang napagod lang siya.

Ganoon pa rin ang aming mga kapitbahay. Bulungan rito, bulungan roon. Kahit saan ako mapadaan, ganoon ang senaryo. Naguguluhan ako pero hinayaan ko. Sigurado akong walang kwentang tsismis na iyon. Nang sumunod na araw, walang pinagbago. Ganoon pa din ang ginagawa nila. Wala yatang magawa sa buhay. Pero sobrang naiintriga na ako kung kaya’t tinanong ko si Aling Dina. Sinabi niya sa’kin na nakita nila ang aking nobya na may kasamang ibang lalaki. Ang hinala pa nila ay pinagtataksilan ako ni Jasmine. Hindi ko pinaniwalaan iyon. Baka nagkamali lang sila o baka kaibigan niya lang iyon.

Sinadya kong puntahan si Jasmine sa bahay nila. Hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa. Tinanong ko siya tungkol sa tsismis na naririnig. Itinanggi niya ito. Kaibigan niya lang daw iyon. Ngunit pansin ko ang pagkabalisa niya. Paikot-ikot. Para bang may mabigat na pinoproblema. Sinubukan ko siyang tanungin ngunit tumanggi siyang sabihin. Biglang may lalaking lumapit sa’min. Galit na galit. Pinaparatanggan ang aking nobya na manloloko. Nangaliwa raw siya. Pinagsabay niya kaming dalawa. Lalo akong naguluhan. Akala ko ba walang iba?

Bumunot ang lalaki ng baril. Itinutok kay Jasmine.

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin. Hihingi ba ako ng saklolo? Ang huli ko na lang naalala ay itinulak ko si Jasmine at tinamaan ako ng bala. Unti-unti akong bumagsak at biglang nagdidilim ang aking paningin. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ko ginawa iyon. Bago ko ipikit ang aking mga mata, ang umiiyak na Jasmine ang aking nakita. Humingi ng tawad. Pinatawad ko siya at nang sasabihin ko mahal ko siya, tuluyan nang pumikit ang aking mga mata.

Mahal ko siya. Walang duda. Handa akong gawin ang lahat para sa kanya. Kahit buhay ay handa kong ialay. Sobra na daw pero para sa’kin kulang pa. Maraming nagsasabing lolokohin lang niya ako pero hindi ako nagpapaapekto. Alam kong mahal niya din ako. Alam ko.

Pssst… Pssst… Pssst…

Nabuhayan ako ng loob ng marinig ko ang signal ni Aaron. Natakot ako, akala ko hindi matutuloy ang binabalak namin. Dali -dali akong sumulip sa bintana ng kwarto ko, nakita ko siyang nakatayo sa ilalim ng poste ng Meralco. Kahit madilim nakikita ko ang mukha niya, alam ko na nakingiti siya.

Kinuha ko ang back-pack ko sa cabinet, inayos ko na ang unan sa higaan ko, binuksan ang radio para hindi mahalata nila mommy na umalis ako. Umakyat na ako sa bintana, inihagis ang bag sa flower bed ni mommy. Buti na lang mababa lang ang kwarto ko, kayang-kaya ko talunin.

Wala pang tatlong minuto nakatakas na ako sa bahay. Patakbo akong pumunta sa may poste, kung saan naghihintay si Aaron.

Halos dalawang lingo kaming hindi nagkita, na-miss ko talaga siya. Niyakap ko agad siya at hinalikan na para bang isang dekada kaming hindi nagkasama. ako.

“Ano ready ka na ba?” tumango lang

“Sigurado ka ba sa gagawin natin?” natigilan siya, “Pwede pa tayong umatras” pabiro niyang sinabi.

“Sure ako, siguradong sigurado” yun na lang ang natugon ko sa kanya.

“Tara na sa kotse,” Kinuha niya ang back-pack at hinawakan niya ang kamay ko habang naglalakad kami papunta sa sasakyan niya.

“Saan tayo pupunta?” tanong ko sa kanya ng nakasakay na kami.

“Sa lugar na matagal na nating gustong puntahan,” hinawakan niya at hinalikan ang kamay ko. Nakita ko sa mga

The wind is soft. It makes me feel the heart of the world. Its gentleness and meekness takes my breath away and leaves my senses calmed. A chill rises up my spine. I’m all out refreshed by the clean air around me. It feels like a miracle that I can smell the sweet scent of caramel puffed up by a nearby bakery.

Oh how I love to feel the freedom of having my feelings opened once again. Despite my disability, I begin to hum slowly a lullaby as I slowly sit in that view point at the hill around old Masi St. Ever gazing and so mesmerized by the beautiful distance.

I couldn’t resist to look at the distant left. From there laid ruins, ruins of a tragic past. Still I see what remains of those once beautiful skyscrapers but now ghostly skeletons of metal and concrete, massive craters, and collapsed bridges. What a sad reminder of what it would have looked like in its glory days.

Everything begins to come back

mata niya ang gusting-gusto kong maramdaman. Pag-ibig. Posible pala na makadama ka ng ganito. Hindi ko maipaliwanag, kapag nakikita ko siya halos pigilin ko ang paghinga ko, lumiliwanag at parang nagso-slowmo ang paligid. As far as I know kami lang dalawa ang nag-eexist sa mundong kami pareho ang nagbuo.

Dalawang linggo na ang nakaraan ng planuhin namin ang pagtakas na ito.

Sobrang takot ang naramdaman ko, takot sa magulang namin, kamag-anak, kaibigan at takot sa Diyos.

Toot… Toot…

Dahan-dahang nagmulat ang aking mga mata. Nasilaw ako sa liwanag, nasa langit na ba kami? Nauuhaw ako…

“Sir, gising na po ang pasyente”, sigaw ng isang babae. Teka, pasyente?

Sinong pasyente ang tinutukoy niya? Hindi ito ang plano namin, gamit ang natitira kong lakas ay umupo ako. Si Aaron? Gusto kong magsalita pero walang lumalabas na boses.

Isang pamilyar na mukha ang lumapit sakin, si Daddy. Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit, halos hindi ako makahinga. Daddy si Aaron?

Bakit wala akong boses? Kailangan kong Naisip ko nuong una na napaka- magconcentrate. makasarili ko para maisip gawin ang ganitong klaseng pagkakasala. Pero ngayon “A… a… ron?” Tinanggal ni daddy habang magkahawak ang kamay namin, at ang pagkakayakap sakin. Hinawakan niya pabilis ng pabilis ang takbo ng sasakyan, ang kamay ko, umiling siya. nakatingin sa mga mata niya -- nawala ang takot ko. Nangingibabaw ang “Wala na si Aaron…” at katulad ng sigaw ng puso ko, kaysa sa sigaw ng isip, o isang namumuong mabagsik na ulan, sigaw ng ibang tao. umagos ang luhang kanina ko pang pinipigil.

Makasarili Hindi maaari ito, pareho dapat kami, na kung masyado pa siyang bata. Ito ba ang makasarili, kabayaran ng pagiging makasarili namin? basta ang Sorry Aaron, patawarin mo ako, mahal na alam ko mahal kita. lang, mahal naming ang “Tala gising na!” madahang ugoy i s a t - i s a . ang nang-gising sa akin. Dahan-dahan kong Hinagkan ko siya sa huling iminulat ang aking mata at nakita ko si pagkakataon.

Aaron. Nakangiti siya sa akin.

8 0 K P H … .

“Ano itutuloy ba natin ang plano?”

1 0 0 K P H … umiling ako at niyakap siya ng mahigpit, 120KPH….

1 4 0 K P H … . sobrang higpit, hindi ko na siya papakawalan.

160KPH….

Toot… Toot… to me slowly. How it all happened. How in a blink of an eye, everything I knew and ever had was taken away.

Though it has been decades now after that forsaken war. I still ask myself if I am spared from it. The sea of blood, gory and severed parts, disfigured limbs, they were everywhere. Piled or scattered on streets, rooms, or even crushed by the wreckage and fallen debris. Fear still registers on me to remember that day as I walked as the only survivor of a nuclear blast.

Lingering in the recesses of my dreams is a reoccurring nightmare that is triggered every night I lie half limp in the bed. Some fragments were better than others but the only one that was easing me from the pain was I and my brother conversing and singing our last repertoire together. It was a happy reunion with Corren. Two pieces of a whole being one at last.

But everything about it would eventually dissolve into a gruesome end.

The walls exploding, the light so blinding, and the explosion dividing us. I could still see a vivid view of the clouds of radiation scattering and the magnitude of the force throwing us into oblivion. Everything turns black as we were flying like leaves tossed in the

middle of a hurricane.

It serves as my traumatic birthmark from time to time. Haunting me restlessly in the night. Charms and rituals, prayers and blessings. None of these could remove the eternal scar on my soul. The pain is ultimately unbearable, acting fresh like droplets of blood.

The man who shared my blood and flesh comforts my heart despite his untimely passing.

As my only remembrance of him is our picture together. Forever immortalized with me in a single special piece of parchment.

All I can say is “I miss him. I miss the songs we sang together.

“How the beauty of both our voices blend so well” As tears begin to fall, I say his name softly in the air. Hoping my words would be taken to him where ever paradise may he be.

Still, I pray constantly and full of hope.

That all of this would come to pass. But still, I wish to go back to that moment, into that very second that I could have changed the fate of everything. Until I breathe my last, I will forever miss the beauty and serenity that shines in the Old Days.

"Kailan maibabalik ang piso sa bulsang puro tagpi?"

Angela

Isang musmos, walang galos Kundi luhang hindi makaagos mula sa mga matang nawalan na ng pag-asang makapuntos kawawang bata, wala ng kaunos-unos At sa pagdating ng delubyo sa kalamnan ng batang ito kakayanin niya kaya ang hirap na walang preno?

Walang laman ang kalamnan mga mata'y natakpan na ng pag-aalangan utak nito'y kontento na sa laman pati ba naman puso wala ng naramdamang pagmamahalan?

Ganyan ang mga batang nakikita ko sa lansangan para bang buhay nila ay wala ng kahahantungan pang hihinayang ang unang pumasok sa isip ko sana'y hindi sila mabigo ng mga bulalakaw sa kanto Bata, mag isip-isip ka wag mong sayangin ang buhay mo sa ganitong sistema Bumangon ka at magsimula na Para sa iyong ikagiginhawa Hindi ka man pinagpala ngayon, pero may takdang oras ang unti-unti mong pagbangon andito ka hindi para maglaro at magdusa kundi may natatangi kang misyon

Ilang beses na?

Marie Bianca

Ang kanilang tungkulin ay paglingkuran ang bayan. Ilang beses na natin narinig ang kanilang mga plataporma at mga pangakong kanila daw tutuparin at isasagawa. Nangyari ba?

Nagampanan nga ba nila ang kanilang tungkulin? Ano nga ba ang ugat ng mga pangyayaring ito? Ating siyasatin.

Ang gobyerno ang nangangalaga sa karapatan at mga pangangailangan ng mga mamamayan. Napakalaki ng kanilang ginagampanan sa buhay natin. Marami silang proyekto na ating patuloy na napapakinabangan. Ang mga kalye, imprastaktura, mga serbisyo at iba pa ay mga halimbawa nito. Dapat na malaki ang tiwala ng mga mamamayan sa kanila upang patuloy nilang maisagawa ang kanilang tungkulin. Ngunit sa mga nangyayari ngayon, masasabi pa ba nating dapat pagkatiwalaan ang pamahalaan? Hindi natin maikakaila na talamak ang korupsyon na nagaganap sa ating gobyerno. Ang kaso ni Janet Lim-Napoles ang isa sa mga makapagpapatunay nito. Sinasabing 10 bilyon ang nawala sa kaban ng bayan dahil sa korupsyon. Kung kaya’t ang tiwala ng mga mamamayan sa pamahalaan ay unti-unti na nawawala.

Ano ba ang dahilan ng mga ito? Marami. Pero isa sa hindi natin napapansin na dahilan at maaaring minamaliit lamang natin ay ang pagiging makasarili. Dahil sa kagustuhan na makaangat sa buhay, handa silang magnakaw. Matugunan lang ang mga luho sa buhay kanilang gagawin ang krimen. Hindi marunong makuntento sa mga bagay na mayroon na sila.

Nagsisimula sa ating kabataan ang ganitong ugali. Malaki ang ginagampanan ng ating pamilya sa ating buhay. Sila ang humuhubog sa ating pagkatao. Kung paano tayo makitungo sa ating pamilya, siguradong ganoon rin tayo makitungo sa ibang tao. Kung ano tayo sa loob ng bahay, ganoon rin tayo sa labas. Ang kaayusan ng ating buhay ay mangyayari lamang kung si Hesus ang sentro nito. Siya dapat ang sentro ng ating buhay. Ang pagmamahal sa kapwa ang dapat mangibabaw sa atin. Dahil kung ito ay ating gagawin, siguradong walang korupsyon. Walang makasarili.

BLOODSUCKING INSECTS Lex

You who we trust.

You who we believe in.

Yeah you, you fooled us.

You who promised everything, You who vowed to lead.

Yeah you, you tricked us.

You who asked for this and that You who favored us to give this.

Yeah you, you stole all.

You who pleased us before, You who planned this and that for us.

Yeah you, you wasted our hope.

You who fooled us, You who tricked us, You who stole everything‌ Where are you now?

Sa isang malayong kaharian na itago na lang natin sa pangalang Senadoo at Lh0wh3rzxch HaUz, naghahariharian si Reyna Polish at Haring Ponce (kaharian nga diba,) kasama ang anak nila na si Prinsipe Benjur.

Konting backstory muna. Si Reyna Polish ay isang dambuhalang babae na mahilig sa pork. Pork sinigang, pork chop, pork asado, pork sisig, pork ng senate at pork ng congress. Pork sa umaga, tanghali, hapon, gabi pati na rin sa mga midnight appointees, este midnight snack pala. Kahit anong luto, kahit saan nanggaling basta pork, bet na bet niya yan. May mga urban legend na kaya daw ganoon si Reyna Polish ay dahil nangaling siya sa mahirap at carnivorous na pamilya (ah ok, I see kaya pala ang hilig niya sa pork).

Si Haring Ponce naman, bagamat mahilig din sa pork ay hindi naman daw kumakain pag hindi balato ng mahal na reyna. Medyo matanda na ang hari (mga 990, clue: maraming administrasyon na siyang naandyan) kaya ultimo pagkain ng pork ay nagpapatulong pa siya kay Chief-of-the-staff GiGi (short yun for galunggong). May mga matatanda na nagsasabi na may relasyon daw ang dalawa, pero “no comment” lang lagi ang sagot nila kapag ini-interview sila sa T.V. (oh diba, showbiz lang ang sagot!).

Si Prinsipe Benjur naman ay sunod-sunuran lang sa kanyang ina at ama (yun na yung whole backstory niya).

Anyway, eto talaga ang plot ng story. Isang araw, habang nagmu-muni si Prinsipe Benjur sa Market Market (which is part ng palace nila), nakabangga niya ang isang napakagandang binibini na nagngagalang Konsiyensya (for real! totoo siya! nag-eexist siya! google niyo pa!). Ang love story nila ay typical koreanovela ang peg: boy meets girl, only to find out na rich si guy, against ang family ni guy and blah blah blah. So I guess may idea na kayo sa ending (that’s where you are wrong, magaling kaya ako mag-isip ng twist). Pero kagaya ng lahat ng story hanggang ending lang ang love story nila (Hindi totoo yung happily ever after guys! Anu kayo, elementary?) at syempre may conflict. Vegetarian si Konsiyensya (yeah ang heavy diba), at papayag lang ito magpakasal sa Prinsipe kung magiging vegan ito.

Isang madilim na gabi, with much courage at matapos magsuot ng bullet proof vest ay lumapit siya sa Reyna at Hari (magtatapat na siya.. oohh yeah…).

“Mahal kong ina at ama, may ipagtatapat po ako sa inyo... May iniibig na po ako. Siya po si Konsiyensya at vegetarian po siya, so if I want to be with her I have to be a vegan.” Nasa state of shock ang Hari at Reyna, mga ten seconds bago nila na realize ang sinabi ng anak.

“Hindi maaari ito, pork ang bumubuhay sa atin. You cannot just drop it like it is

hot” tumingin ang Reyna sa Hari, umiling ang mahal na hari at tumingin sila kay Chief-of-the-staff GiGi. “Hindi ko matatanggap na itatatwa mo ang lifestyle na bumuhay sa iyo!” pang uusig ng Hari.

“Pero guys, being vegan is a healthy lifestyle, and let me tell you, everyone should do...” pinutol ng Reyna ang Prinsipe.

“Mahal kong anak, hindi mo alam ang sinasabi mo, hindi yan bibigyan ng pansin sa mga hearing kapag nagkataon... Chief-of -the-staff GiGi, kunin ang prinsipe at ikulong sa condo natin sa Taguig, huwag papaalisin hanggang hindi nagtatanda!” utos ng Reyna.

Akmang dadamputin ng mga operatiba ng NBI ang prinsipe ay nagbukas ang pinto at pumasok si Konsiyensya (medyo hinihingal pa kasi kakatapos lang ng yosi break).

“Itigil niyo yan! Mahal ko, ililigtas kita pati na rin ang taong bayan” usal ni Konsiyensya.

“Lapastangan, sino ka naman?” tanong ng Hari.

“Ako ang tagapagligtas ng mga boss ko” right then and there ay ginaya niya ang pagtransform ng sailor moon, matapos ang napakatagal at busog sa effects na pagtransform, nasilayan ang isang panot at madilaw na lalaki (wala siyang hepatitis A o B, madilaw lang talaga siya) “Ako si Yellow Fairy, anak ni Chory Faquino, ako ang tagapagligtas ng mga boss natin”.

Nagulantang ang lahat especially si Prinsipe Benjur.

“What the??? With all the hugs and kisses we shared now you’re telling me na lalaki ka pala?” he said with disbelief.

“I never said na babae ako Prinsipe, and besides, part lang nang palabas yun. At kayo naman, naturingang Hari at Reyna, mga naturingan kayong public servant tapos kayo pa ang nanglalamang sa mga taong bayan. You deserve a parusa!

Ikaw Reyna Polish, tutal mahilig ka sa Pork at malaki ka din naman, I will curse you. Bukod sa hypertension, forever kang magiging baboy, babalik ka lamang sa pagiging tao kung natutunan mo na ang value ng honesty at integrity, but I doubt kung magagawa mo yan bago ka pa mapadala sa Lydia’s Lechon.” Tumingin siya sa Hari “Ikaw naman, matanda ka na nga pero wala ka pa ring pinagkatandaan! Ang dami mo nang administrasyon na nasalihan pero wala ka pa ring nagagawang pagbabago, para ka lang bagoong na nagpapa-age sa legislative. Tutal aging ang forte mo, gagawin kitang bariles, at isasama ko ang lover mo na si Chief-of-the-staff GiGi”.

Pagkatapos i-perform ang ritual ng matagal na pagpaparusa sa Pilipinas (na umaabot ng dekada, for real, kahit i-research niyo pa). Naging baboy at bariles ang Hari at Reyna, at inilagay ang iba pang sangkot sa Hall of Shame. Wala nang nagawa si Prinsipe Benjur kundi ang kumampi sa katotohanan, ang kumampi kay Konsiyensya—sa katarungan.

“Ina... ama... kung naging matapat lang sana kayo sa paglilingkod at binawas-bawasan ang pagkahilig sa pork edi sana happy ending tayo...” Lumuha ang Prinsipe “Ina... ama... pork... barrel... pork... barrel..” repeat 10X until it fades.

Therefore, duon na coin ang term na pork-barrel. Para sa mga iba pang naglilingkod sa bayan kuno, tamaan naman kayo! Huwag niyong hintayin na sapitiin niyo ang sinapit ng Reyna at Hari.

Fin

*Paalala: Anumang pagkakatulad sa mga tao o pangyayari ay sinadya ng manunulat! (evil laugh...) Ang istorya ay pawang obserbasyon lang, tamaan naman kayo!

“I want an aesthetically artistic photograph about the current trend of the ‘new age’ photography ‘selfie’ depicting its creative effect in the society. To be submitted to my desk in my standard project print copy (8r) tomorrow before I enter this hell room! Present your works individually! Also, be reminded that I myself am a fan of ‘selfie’ photography,” said the 3.0-highest-grade achievable professor, Mr. Esseguera.

Well, this should have been another regular Monday morning for Jake Carpizo - a graduating student taking Multi-Media Arts major in Photography at the over-rated school of Photech International here in the Philippines, if the whole class were able to pass the not-sosurprisingly surprise quiz by their weirdo professor about the functions of the film series DSLR camera which happens to be a lesson from their frosh years.

This would have been an easy task for the three year consecutive Junior Photographer of the year of the Institutions Photographer’s Club - Clickers, Jake, if he’s also into the trend of ‘selfie.’ Jake finds these ‘selfies’ and groupies a blasphemy against the technical art of digital photography. He always reason out that the pre -sets like magic skin and such are an inartistic ways of developing your pictures, and a heck a lot more reasons. Actually, the thing that bothers him the most is his professor’s statement of “...be reminded that I myself am a fan of ‘selfie’ photography,” and he knows that he must please the old runt to pass this subject.

Also the fact that he must accomplish the capturing, post processing, and printing all within one day which means from 9am to 3pm if he could find a printing shop that would produce his photograph within the day or as early as 7am tomorrow morning.

As an organized, must we say OCD student, Jake planned what he must do and worked diligently the task ahead of him. First, he surfed through the web about ‘selfie’ (which he half-heartedly worked upon) looking for any articles, write ups, photojournalism pictures, and anything related to it. To his disappointment, he only found the Oxford and Wikipedia definition for the newly accepted word ‘selfie,’ a few quotes and articles, and whole lot of selfie pics posted on the web and the entire social networking site. Aggravated, he stood and walked fro and through the corridor easing his frustration while devising a scheme on what to do next. Suddenly, a familiar voice woke him from his demise. It was Jamie Omillo, his seatmate and sort of the girl of his dreams but more on the fiction side because his tail-between-legs around her.

“Hi! Jake! How’s the ‘selfie’ project going? Looks like you’re handling it well.”

“Oh! Hi! Hmmm. Yeah, working on it.

Just finalizing a few minor details. How about you?”

“Good to hear that! I’m done. Already on my way to the shop and have this developed.”

“How did you do that? Oh! I mean, cool. Great! Job well done.”

“Are you sure you don’t need help with that?”

“Nope.

Sure, I’m good.”

“Alright then, see you tom! A piece of advice though, try taking a portrait of yourself.”

As she spins on her way, Jake felt a pang of sadness and disappointment. Not sure whether from the idea that he missed another chance on Jamie or the fact that he has to take a selfie of himself which he was desperately trying to avoid.

Determined not to have his own selfie, Jake went around looking for volunteers who would be willing to share their selfie to him; while inside his mind he was mocking each one of them saying, “Another blasphemous being degrading the art of photography.”

Going through all the volunteers, Jake observed a lot of attitude and characters of the different subjects. But the one thing that is common to all of them is that they post all their selfies on the social media. Little by little he immerses himself in the world of selfie and bit by bit grasps the act of self-portrait photography. As he meets a lot of avid fans of the art, he slowly accepted the idea and finally took a picture of himself with his smart phone and nimbly uploaded the picture on his Facebook. After a few moments, an unexpected melancholy hit him hard as if his DSLR camera slipped from his hands and shattered to pieces.

Slowly, realization dawned to him and bore to parts of his mind creeping into the seams of his wholeness. He now has a subject and idea to work on.

The next day, everyone had completed the project and submitted their works ahead of time including Jake which gave Mr. Esseguera a playful mood. He took the first half hour of the class scrutinizing all of the 38 photographs as if looking for a reason to fail each one. When he was satisfied with his mischievous inspection, he stood and with a grin said, “I asked for an aesthetic work of art, yet you gave me a pile of trash common in the social media. With that, only nine of you passed and only these nine will pass this subject for this semester. As instructed, those who passed will be announced individually in order from the least to the highest score, and will present their work to the class. Mr. Fuentes, by luck you passed with 75%.

Tell us about your work.”

With that horrifying statement the whole class were hoping that they are one of the lucky nine who passed. Jake, on the other hand, seems to be afloat and out of his mind not sure whether he was worried because of the news his grumpy instructor conveyed, or that he may look wimpy in front of Jamie if he didn’t pass, or something else that has been bothering himself since yesterday after he had his selfie.

The first seven passers were done with their presentations, yet Jake wasn’t called nor mentioned. This was his last hope. He knows that it’s impossible for him to get the top spot so this is his last chance. Expectant and positive that his name would be called, Mr. Esseguera called, “Ms. Omillo.” His world started to shatter piece by piece crumbling to him seeking to entomb him with his lost dreams. Then suddenly all of that somewhat turned around when he saw the picture Jamie presented. It’s a selfie of her with a guy who he completely and instantly recognized, him. Abruptly, a rush of memory surged through him. He remembered the picture. It was a picture of them before they finished their foolish sophomore years. Years were he used to spend with her before things got awkward and seemingly cold between them.

With that memory, picture, and a cheesy ‘ohhh’ from the crowd, the final name doesn’t matter to him anymore. He seems like the happiest man alive drowned in ecstasy. He didn’t even hear Mr. Esseguera when he stated his name. Not until the second time he was called with a start.

“Yes sir?”

“Yes sir? Are you with us Mr. Carpizo? I called your name and you must quickly go in front and present your work. You’re in luck that I’m impressed with your photograph or you’d be out of the list.”

Addressing the class, Mr. Esseguera said. “I gave this one 96% because this picture has everything an artist is looking for. This goes beyond all technicalities, yet aesthetically crafted. Now, present your work Mr. Carpizo before I change my mind!”

“Yes sir!”

Filled with mixed emotions he cannot start to define; Jake prepped and placed himself in front and presented his work.

“My piece portrays how we, the generation of today seek affirmation and acknowledgement which we often find through the social media, and slowly develops a narcissistic character in all of us. My piece is entitled...”

Now that you’ve read a lot of stories, poems, and essays about ‘selfie’, perhaps, it somehow changed the way you think about the word ‘selfie’. The term itself is not just limited on how you call the way you take pictures but it implies deeper meaning as well. And that’s what is important—looking deeper on every action you make.

Let’s say for example, did you even question yourself once why you are fond of taking ‘selfies’? Is it because you want to brag in every social media app you have? Well, everyone loves how people around them will react with their photos posted. But I think the most significant purpose of taking those pictures is to restore memories. I know that sounds so sentimental but let’s just admit it people. You know, no matter how long time had past, once you look at these pictures it will bring back all your memories—happiness, pain, sorrow, excitement, and a lot of feelings. You can’t help but to smile and be thankful that you had captured those memories. See? Did you ever wonder that this simple ‘selfie’ word has a deeper meaning? Probably not.

‘Selfie’ means a lot to all of us. If you’re gonna think of it, ‘selfie’ is like referring to ourselves. Everything we make reflects our personality and how we handle things by ourselves.

We cannot always seek help from other people for the rest of our lives. They will not stay forever. Sooner or later, they will leave us behind. What will happen to us if that time has come?

We need to learn to stand by our own feet and be independent.

I’ve never imagined that mere words can have a deeper meaning than we expected. Words that we encounter daily but we don’t pay attention clearly. I hope that you can also be vigilant as much as you can. Let’s not be limited about things.

The world is such a vast place of experience. Never condemn yourself in the dark corner of your room and thinking all of the negative things. Get into the light and explore the awesomeness of our world. Just try it! You will lose nothing if you do.

Bianca Marie V. Baylon News and Features Editor

Walang permanente sa mundong ito. Ang mga materyal na bagay na mayroon ka ngayon ay maluluma at masisira kahit gaano mo pa man ito alagaan. Gayundin maging ang mga tao sa paligid natin. Maaaring may umalis ngunit babalik, dumating ngunit iiwan ka din, nandyan ngunit hindi mo pinahahalagahan, o pwede ring nandyan ngunit kailangan mong iwan.

Minsan kahit ang mga taong pinaka-iingatan mo ay kailangang umalis. Masakit man tanggapin, ngunit sa oras na matanggap mo na ang lahat, matutulungan ka ng pangyayaring ito upang maging mas matibay.

Maaari rin kailangan na ikaw ang umalis. Upang tuluyang mawalay sa sakit at bigat na iyong nararamdaman at matutuhang huwag umasa sa tulong ng iba.

Mararanasan natin ang pag-iisa. ‘yung wala kang kasama sa pagpasok sa school, ‘yung may may kasama ka nga ngunit nandyan lang dahil may kailangan sa iyo, at ‘yung may kasama ka nga ngunit hindi mo naman maramdaman na kasama mo siya/sila. Mahirap ang mag-isa, ngunit sa mga oras na ito, maiisip mo ang mga bagay bagay sa mundo. Ang mga bagay at taong nagpapasaya at nagpapalungkot sa’yo, maging ang mga pagkakamali at pagsisisi mo sa buhay.

Ang tao, minsan makasarili. Minsan kasi sa sobrang kagalakan natin sa kung anong meron tayo ay nakakalimutan na natin itong ibahagi sa iba, lalo’t higit sa mga taong tumulong sa’tin upang makamit ang mga hangarin natin. Minsan kailangan lang natin magpasalamat. Minsan kailangan lang nating pahalagahan ang mga taong hindi tayo pinababayaan.

May mga pagkakataong hindi naibibigay sa lahat. Maswerte kung tawagin ang mga nananalo sa lotto, ang mga nakakatuluyan ang crush nila, at maging ang mga taong nakakadaupang palad ang mga hinahangaan nilang artista. Ngunit hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay tatanggapin mo ang pagkakataon. Minsan kailangan mong mag-take risk sa magiging desisyon mo. Minsan hindi magiging maganda ang kahihinatnan ng desisyon mo. At minsan kailangan nating magsimula uli, bitbit ang mga aral ng buhay na minsa’y sumubok sa iyo.

Araw-araw, nakikipagsapalaran tayo. Hindi natin alam ang mga mangyayari sa bawat oras na lilipas. Hindi natin alam kung sino-sino ang makikilala natin at kung anong aral ng buhay ang dala nila sa buhay natin.

At kung paulit-ulit kang subukin ng mapaglarong tadhana, tandaan mo lang: keep playing and keep praying.

Alecs Marie O. Pajarillo Associate Editor