CONVERSATION STARTERS 101

Whether you’ve eyed someone in person or are eager to swipe right on an intriguing dating profile, sometimes starting a conversation can feel less than easy. So our resident dating expert is sharing her top convo pointers when it comes to dating all around! BY LINDSEY METSELAAR

We’re in the height of summer, and with hot-girl summer in tow, there has never been a better time to strike up a great conversation! Let’s start with in person. If you’re in person with someone, let’s say at an event in the Hamptons, the best (and easiest) conversation starter is making an observation. It’s that simple. Just make an observation about something that’s going on! “I noticed you’re drinking Diet Coke. Are you one of those three-a-day Diet Coke people?” Or “You look like you know a lot of people here. Have you been before?” If you’re at an event of mutual friends, or a wedding, an easy icebreaker is “How do you know so-and-so?” And if you’re at a bar, the best way to break into a conversation can be a simple “What are you drinking tonight?”

For my fellow sober ladies and gentlemen, you can say something like “What’s your favorite new restaurant Out East this summer” or “Have you heard of Spotlight magazine? I hear it’s all the rage!” Plus, it never hurts to get right to the point: “I don’t think we’ve met yet. Are you single?” We can all appreciate the directness, and sometimes it’s just refreshing to hear.

If you’re talking to someone on a dating app, I always suggest that you start off by responding to something that they’ve put in their profile. If it says they’re a big fan of guacamole, I’d say something like “You haven’t lived until you’ve tried my guac” or “What’s your favorite guacamole in NYC?” A few other lines that are always a hit are “What’s your favorite condiment?”, “What’s your unpopular opinion?”, “What was the last place you got takeout from?”, and “Describe yourself in three emojis.”

Often, someone (especially men) will go back and forth with you on a dating app, having a conversation but never initiate a date. This can be so frustrating. If that happens to you, I’d say something like “So are you on Hinge for friends?” Or “It’s been fun being pen pals, but I’m looking to actually meet in person.” Sometimes even the best people need a little nudge.

A huge part of starting up a conversation, whether it’s in person or on a dating app, is confidence. Treat this conversation as if it’s one you’re having with a friend you’ve known forever! That way, you won’t be second-guessing what you say, and you’ll also be able to have fun with it and keep things lighthearted. You can even tell them about your workday, just as you would a person you already know. This creates a sense of closeness and comfortableness in a good way! Make sure to always ask a question back, and don’t say anything that’s a conversation killer. When all else fails, I love a good “Would you rather…” question.

You got this! T

Lindsey Metselaar