BE OPEN // ISSUE 3 by Jennifer Xia

BE OPEN

AUG / SEPT

2018

A HELLO //

Fall has come and it’s the time for change and

goodbyes to everything familiar to us. This is Be Open. Change for me has always been associated with fear and loss, but as I have grown older, I’m learning that it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. As I am in the middle of applying to college, I am embracing change and all the anxieties that come with it. Complacency has never been a desire of mine and I know with growth comes initial discomfort, the aching of limbs and shedding of leaves. I hope this issue allows you to view change as a source of encouragement in the wide possibilities presented to you instead of a sign that good things are ending. Good things are coming. This is Be. With love, Jennifer Xia -founder & editor-in-chief

CONTENTS //

August Tunes // 1 September Tunes // 2 Dallas Farmer’s Market // 3 – 16 Interview Tips // 17 Black and White Series // 18 – 29 Change // 30 Reflections // 31 – 32 Gr-attitude // 33 Something About Love Poem // 34 Be Open // 35

august tunes Be Great ft. Pope // Loladre Best Friend // Rex Orange County Between the Bars // Elliot Smith Blue Fleeted Tail – Fleet Foxes California // Kina Grannis Can I be Him // James Arthur Exhausted // Chloe Moriondo Light // Sleeping At Last Mystery of Love // Sufjan Stevens Resolution // Matt Corby Superhero // LAUV Talk to Me // Cavetown Talk Too Much // COIN The Show // Lenka Top to Toe // Fenne Lily

Yesterday // The Beatles

september tunes

Brother // Matt Corby Generation Why // Conan Gray High Five // Sigrid Human // dodie I’ll Still Have Me // CYN Places We Won’t Walk // Bruno Major Rare // Ruth B. Roslyn // Bon Iver & St. Vincent S.L.U.T. // Bea Miller Stole the Show // Kygo ft. Parson James You Say // Lauren Daigle

This was my first time going to the Dallas Farmer’s Market. My mom saw that there was a watermelon festival going on during the weekend and in our family, watermelon has always been associated with summertime. Picking out a good watermelon was always the goal of every super market trip, which involves a lot of pretending to know what you’re listening for as you tap the watermelons and a whole lot of luck. But there’s nothing more satisfying than that crisp sound of a watermelon breaking open. Going to the farmer’s market was such a great experience. The many farmers bring so much life behind what they have brought to sell to the public, giving their customers tastes of their produce and engaging with people through a shared connection of a love for food. Everything is fresh and vibrant and the fact that their produce is local is amazing, because you know where your food is coming from and who is producing it. If you ever have a chance to stop by your local farmer’s market, I would definitely recommend it. Develop relationships with your local farmers and it will help cultivate an appreciation for the process that goes into making the food we eat every day.

I n t e r v i e w T i p s If you’re anything like me, interviews can be intimidating, especially with college application season in full swing. The interview can solidify a college’s or employer’s impression of you. While an interview is important, you must have confidence in yourself. My dad always tells me that “You will only do as well as you tell yourself you will.” So, do not sell yourself short. This is the moment to highlight your strengths and present yourself in the best light. You are nervous because you care. I was able to attend a really helpful workshop as part of an internship I was a part of for tips during an interview and I wanted to share them with you. Tip #1: Be selective and relevant. If for example, your interviewer asks you to name your strengths, you want to focus in on a few of your strongest traits. These traits should also be geared towards the position you are applying for. Instead of telling them a list, elaborate on just three traits that you can demonstrate how you specifically demonstrate that characteristic. Share proof or experience for why you are good at ______. Also, do your homework. You want to show that you are a good fit and researching the core values they are looking for will help you stand out and show that you are genuinely interested. Tip #2: Share what you can offer, not what they can do for you. When they ask, “Why do you want this?” or “Why are you the best candidate?” it’s important to explain how you will use your strengths to improve the college campus or workplace by offering you a position. Although it’s great to share what you hope to get out of something, they are looking for what you offer that differentiates you from the rest of the applicants. Tip #3: Do not say, “I don’t know.” If you say those three words, it comes across as a fallback phrase, that you don’t care to put thought into formulating an answer. If it’s a tricky question, try diverting with a question of your own. If you simply didn’t understand, clarify it with them. They don’t expect you to answer every question flawlessly but they expect you to show interest by trying. Ask questions. Often at the end of Tip #4: the interview, they ask you if you have any questions. It’s always a good idea to ask one to show interest or just to

uncover information from someone who is experienced in the position you are applying for. Tip #5: Follow up with them. The interviewer taking time out of their day is definitely something to be appreciated. Send a follow up saying “Thank you.” You can include a line about how you hoped that you were able to share your strengths in _______ and that you look forward to the next step in the process. You want to make sure you follow up with them in 24 hours in order to keep a connection with them. Interviewing is something that improves with experience, time, and practice and you are bound to feel nervous. But just focus on the fact that you are interviewing for a position you are qualified for and that you want and that confidence and interest will show through. Body language in general is important. Have a firm handshake in the beginning. Do not be too aggressive but do not be too limp either. You want to assert that you are confident and not arrogant or timid. Also, make sure to smile and maintain good eye contact. Having poor eye contact often displays weakness or lack of interest. But don’t verge on creepy by staring too intently. I wish everyone good luck in their interviews for college and in the future! Here are a few questions that you can consider while preparing for an interview. It’s a good idea to incorporate stories or experiences that support your answers to any questions.

• • • • • • •

Tell us about a time that you didn’t get along with someone. What was the best team you were a part of? Tell me about an important personal goal and how you achieved it or hope to achieve it. Tell me a hobby of yours. What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses? Why do you want this job? What sets you apart from other candidates?

I have always loved black and white photographs. I think they illustrate a rawness and honesty that sometimes color hides. Textures come to life in black and white: freckles on cheeks from afternoon walks during the summer, cracks on sidewalks, and the softness of light falling in the morning. Here’s to embracing the dark and light.

CHANGE

Growing up, I always viewed change negatively. I used to rewatch the moment Peter Pan visited Wendy when she had all grown up and I found it so sad. For me, Peter Pan represented the innocence and fun of being young and leaving that behind felt like a huge loss. Peter had looked at Wendy and with his arms crossed said, “You changed.” He seemed to say it out of disappointment and sadness and I feared that change would only mean that I had become an unauthentic version of myself. But I have learned to embrace change. If you are stagnant, then you aren’t growing. If you aren’t growing, you aren’t moving forward and the goal is to be constantly working towards being a better version of yourself. I have always struggled with feeling a need to be liked by everyone, which often stems from insecurity and being unable to feel enough by being myelf. But I have now realized that I do not want to be liked by

everyone because there are people with certain values that I don’t agree with and why would I want to be liked by them just for the sake of being liked. Being yourself is the hardest thing that is easiest to do. Not everyone is going to like you or who you are becoming. That is okay, as long as you are being authentic to yourself and kind in the process. Do not shape your character around those around you. Be open-minded to new perspectives and new ideas, but don’t readily accept them without questioning them and challenging them. I think change is a beautiful thing. I have seen my sister grow into an independent woman who is steadfast in speaking up for herself and compassionate in advocating for others. My friend is pursuing his passion of music despite being discouraged by his parents and I know that he will go so far. The trees outside my house have grown so tall and I almost forgot where they started from. Don’t forget where you have come from, where it all started. But look how far you have come.

gr-attitude :

(noun) the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness

...................... When I was thinking of ideas for this issue,

gratitude instantly came to mind. My dad told me, “That’s a difficult topic though. Most people find it hard to be grateful when they don’t have certain perspectives of hardship and struggle.” But I found that to be a greater reason to highlight the importance of gratitude in our life. According to the Huffington Post, a study conducted by Robert A. Emmons at the University of California at David and his colleague Mike McCullough at the University of Miami showed that participants in the group that had “described 5 things they were grateful for that had occurred in the past week…felt better about their lives as a whole and were a full 25% happier” than the group of participants who had not actively thought about what they were grateful for. It’s easy to not be grateful. Every day feels like a routine. Little things become normal and we lose sight of the role they play in our lives. Being able to brush your teeth. Having running water. Returning to a home and a bed after a long day. Having electricity with the flick of a finger. When I was on a college-visiting trip to the East coast, my mom and I had taken an overnight bus to Philadelphia and had stopped at a train station to freshen up because we didn’t have hotel for that leg of the trip. We went to the bathroom to change into our clothes, brush our teeth, and wash our faces. I saw two women in the bathroom using paper towels to wash their bodies and using the hand dryers to dry their washed clothes. This wasn’t just one night for them. This was their life. I was instantly humbled and grateful that I had the reassurance of a home to return to at the end of the day. I felt guilty but I knew that this was the reality I needed to see in order to appreciate what I had. However, seeing people in worse off circumstances shouldn’t discredit any struggle you go through. It should just help you find hope in your situation. I used to use other peoples’ struggles as a way to downplay my emotions in response to my own circumstances but they are just as valid. Every feeling is valid. But I also firmly believe that there is always hope in any situation and it’s not about a competition of suffering, but a need for compassion of other peoples’ struggles and finding the good in your own. Another thing about gratitude I wanted to touch on is when people do acts of kindness for you or do

favors for you. Try not to say sorry and feel guilty for someone doing something for you. Instead, try and view things from a mindset of gratitude. Say “thank you” instead. It will save you from encouraging a guiltoriented mentality and make the other person feel appreciated as well. So, how do you start being more grateful? Well, it takes time and active effort and it won’t come instantly. Each night or each week, look back at your day or week and simply write down things you are grateful. It can be your mom cooking you breakfast in the morning when you’re running late or the way the light fell through the leaves as the sun was setting. Big and small things. Once you start forming a habit of recognizing things you are grateful, it will come easy to you and your gratitude will come in the moment. Take time out of your day to tell someone something you appreciate about them. Maybe you love how they give you a hug when you’re upset when they know you don’t want to talk. Maybe it’s appreciating how they helped you figure out that subject in school you were really stressing about. Maybe it’s just the way they always make you laugh. Then, look at yourself and tell yourself what you are grateful for about yourself. Do you love the way people always feel like they can tell you everything and that you remember the small details about people? Do you love the way you always try and include people because you know how scary it can be to approach new people? With time, you will start to form a new grattitude and I think with gratitude comes happiness, and not the other way around. I asked my friends a poll about what they were most grateful at the moment and here are some of the responses I got: • The fact that I have wonderful people supporting me every step of the way • Michael Jackson • People • My boyfriend who is more than I could every dream to have • Earphones and piano • Friends who bring you sushi in the middle of the night • My supportive parents and the positivity all around me

34 “s o m e t h i n g a b o u t l o v e ” a poem by jennifer xia

maybe she knows nothing about love, nothing about stars aligning or dust colliding, nothing about the edges of beginnings, contained inside submarine heads, a sprawled mess of meaning where frayed ends aren’t minded. but she knows how hard she falls for the sky every morning, even amidst the fine haze, loves all its grey-haired days,

a dizzying dance where she can’t seem to remember the steps, only knowing that she must keep moving uproot her bare head and feet from hollow ground and rose-tinted skies must keep breathing

how sad she feels when she sees people eating alone

outstretch her fingertips until they awaken shut-eye constellations

in yellow-lit booths on Friday evenings.

must keep fighting

and she can’t help but have anxiety for a lover,

rummage past the pull of retreat

swallowing moments when nothing makes her heart throb more

defeat has no tighter grip than how tight your hands wrap around it

than the incessant twinge she bites of how much she worries,

she must keep moving past the music until she can feel the beat of her heart again,

a never ceasing playback churning, a chest-heavy yearning of frowns unhinged from jaws, rimmed charcoal eyes above a grimace,

her existence louder than the reverberations that shake her,

of herself shattering silence so effortlessly,

maybe she knows nothing about how much she loves.

BE OPEN TO LOVE HAPPINESS CHANGE OPPORTUNITIES GRATITUDE