Original Compositions

The new management of the Tuck Shop has proved an unqualified success, and the thanks of all customers are due to the work done by Mr. Baker and his executive committee.

ORIGINAL COMPOSITIONS.

• RETURN.

" Good-bye." Train leaves six-twenty, always late. Luggage all right, into a corner seat I drop, relax ; and note with sudden hate Familiar sights : " Off "—arrows—" On " for " Heat " ; Initialled hand-bags ; on the other seat A flushed stout dozer, vexed at carriage-mate. Platforms slip back, glistening, trolley-rumbled. Dim lamps, fog-haloed with a sandy brown, Gliding into blackness are soon humbled Into faint glow-worms, and the dinning town Is soon one aimless pattern up and down The hillside ; street-lamps, shops, car-lights jumbled. Points. Rocking of carriage. Jolts. Furnace-glare. Stinks from a pit-head—raise the window. Then, Flashing and rushing past my startled stare As express passes. There is quiet again ; Only the rumble of this filthy train ; Only the taste of this smoked stifling air. Gazing with sightless eyes, I turn and think : What is to come ? And who will be there still ? There will be games in stinking mud. I shrink From contemplation of more work until I wake again, watch 'til I'm nearly ill That man's fat jowls, sweaty, and soft, and pink. My tired eyes turn and peer into the black Wet night. I see new lights—my journey end. Vast vaulted darkness ; trolleys ; luggage—stack On to taxi. Tips. These walls again ! Friend After friend will greet me. And I shall send But here, I'm in this unchanged street. I'm back ! R.R.H.H.

ORIGINAL COMPOSITIONS. 389

SIMPLE PEOPLE. THE SERGEANT-MAJOR (with apologies to Mr. Punch and anyone else who thinks he ought to have one).

Once upon a time there was a sergeant-major who lived in a city called York, and every Tuesday and Friday he had to go to a school at the other side of the city, to teach the boys to play at being soldiers.

Well, one day he said to all the boys, we will do some company drill. So he said, company 'shun, slope arms, and they sloped arms, but he said that is very ragged, order arms—slope arms—that is better, but you don't do it all together yet, the time is one—two—three, order arms—slope arms.

Then he said, company will retire in fours from the right, number one platoon leading—form fours—right, so the platoon commanders said, by the left, left wheel quick march (quick on the left, march on the right foot) and they all marched off.

Then he said, we will form column of platoons the com- mand will be, at the halt on the left form column of platoons, on this order the platoons will act as in squad drill. So he said, at the halt on the left form column of platoons, but they didn't, so he said, that is not very good, you should act on my command, as there is no need for the platoon commander to give a command.

So they did it all over again, and even then he was not very pleased, because it would never do for a sergeant-major to let people see that he was pleased.

Then he said, quick march, swing those arms, halt, that halt was very bad—quick march—halt, STAND STILL ! !-quick march—halt—quick march—halt.

And very often he used to bring another sergeant-major to the school to help him to show the boys how to play soldiers nicely. And this sergeant-major had a keen sense of humour .and a very sarcastic tongue. One day he noticed a boy marching along looking at the ground, so he said, hold your head up high, you won't find Christmas down there. And if anyone should give a wrong order, he would say, no they won't, what will they do ? — of course they will. He was also a very gener•ous man for one day before saying present arms, to a squad, he said, hit your rifles hard, you won't break them, and if you should, I'll give you all new ones.