Week 4 - The Student - 20082009

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Student SCOTTISH STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR 2007

Since 1887 - The UK’ s oldest student newspaper

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Struggling to cope

Edinburgh’s secret arms trade Liz Rawlings

More students than ever in need of mental health counselling, with waiting times set to rise Student Counselling Service admit to ‘burn-out’ after drain on resources Sarah Morrison AS THE number of students with mental health problems at the University of Edinburgh reaches an all time high, officials voice concern over the resources available to support them.

In 2007, the University’s Disability Office recorded 70 students with mental health problems, an increase of 17 per cent since 2006, and the highest recorded figure the University has ever seen.

These statistics are consistent with a recent report issued by the Royal College of Psychiatrists, which revealed a more serious and progressive increase in the number of students seeking help for mental health problems.

According to national figures, around one in 12 students request counselling for a mental health problem during their time at university.

Marnie Roadburg, the director of the University’s Student Disability Services, said the increase in the recorded number of students with mental health difficulties could be the result of greater awareness and acceptance.

“It is very positive that the overall number of disabled students increases each year,” she said. “This could be due to several factors - the whole student population is also increasing, and hopefully the University is seen as increasingly accessible and inclusive for all students, which enables students to disclose disability.”

However, in a recent report published by the Student Counselling Service, concerns were raised about a possible reduction in future resources, which would hinder their ability to maintain their free, confidential and short-term counselling for students.

After an unprecedented 12 per cent rise in the use of student counselling in 2006, the report said that the effort “took its toll on staff” and left the Service with a “general sense of burn-out”.

Officials at the Student Counselling Service said: “We have viewed this year as a transition to a new system which would address concerns we have all held. These issues concern our ability to provide a fair and equally responsive service to all students referring.

“We realised that we were approaching an era of reducing resources for the service and that we would need to use these more limited resources in more creative ways.”

The report acknowledged that with staff leaving and higher demand, they had been underresourced in the last year. It concluded that “with less resources on the horizon, the waiting list for counselling would just get longer and longer,” unless briefer therapy was offered.

In the last year, the 906 students in need of counselling had to wait for referrals and continued treatment. The longest waiting Continued on page 6...

Week 4 14.10.2008

Julia Sanches

EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY receives millions of pounds worth of research funding from military organisations every year, helping to develop weapons and technology used in war-zones across the globe, Student has learned.

A recent report leaked exclusively to Student from the Scientists for Global Responsibility (SGR), states that the University received £1.37m in government military funding and £637,175 from private arms companies last year including BAE systems and QinetiQ. BAE systems have been criticised for exporting weapons to Zimbabwe, Israel and Saudi Arabia as well being heavily involved with the production of the ASMP nuclear missile. QinetiQ is a British arms company focused on defence technology.

The SGR report, ‘Behind Closed Doors’ examines the arms links at 16 Universities across the UK, placing Edinburgh in the top-5 for receiving funds from military sources involved in both Iraq and Afghanistan.

The information was gathered using the Freedom of Information Act, as well as anonymous interviews with both military-funded and non-military funded staff at the University.

Adam Ramsay, President of EUSA told Student: “the vast majority of research done at the university benefits society. Unfortunately, some is less constructive. While the ethics of how research is conducted is carefully scrutinised, the ethics of the outcomes of research are not... as a university community it is important that we have some democratic oversight of these outcomes.”

The University of Edinburgh’s links to arms-giant BAE systems is particularly sensitive in light of the fact that in 2005, student pressure led to the University disinvesting from the company due to its dubious ethical record.

Last year, the Director of Finance at Southampton University, told students that it would be ‘hypocritical’ to sell his university shares in BAE systems when it receives Continued on page 2...

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2 News

Student

Week 4 14.10.08

Oxbridge lectures in your pocket Guy Rughani BBC RADIO’S ‘Naked Scientist’ Dr Chris Smith, historian David Starkey and economist Sir Nicholas Stern could soon be joining your iPod playlist as Oxbridge makes hundreds of hours of lecture material freely downloadable from iTunes.

Cambridge University is offering over 300 free podcasts and Oxford’s contribution includes 150 hours of academic video content.

Seen as a move to widen access to these elite institutions, broadcasts include tips on writing a personal statement, and getting through the infamous interview process.

There is also no doubt that iTunes provides a vast new marketing tool.

Along with the academic content, Oxford has launched the largest fundraising campaign in European university history with a special download hosted by Michael Palin.

Oxford Vice Chancellor John Hood said, “We hope that this service will make Oxford’s diverse range of audio and video material more widely accessible to appli-

Katy Kennedy

ACADEMIC SHUFFLE: Would you bother going to lectures if they were vailable on iTunes? cants, alumni, supporters of the University, and the intellectually curious.”

Downloadable lectures have been available on iTunes from

American institutions since early 2007, but it was only earlier this year that UCL and the Open University adopted similar technology in the UK.

In 2006 a philosophy lecturer from the University of Glasgow topped the iTunes education chart with her introduction to Immanuel Kant, available for students and the

public to listen to at their leisure.

Lagging somewhat behind, the University of Edinburgh’s website hosts a small selection of audiovisual material from special guest lecturers, but no comprehensive repository.

When asked, the majority of Edinburgh students said that they would really value a listen again facility, feeling it would enable them to get much more out of lectures.

A number however thought that it would discourage them from attending if they knew they could just download the material that they had missed.

Edinburgh has made no comment as to whether it plans to contribute to iTunes.

Student Hugo Merryweather Ross chortled: “I think the scheme’s a great idea but it’s difficult to replace the benefits of being at a lecture in person, as well as being able to consult with other students and the lecturer themselves.

“But to think of all the forests that will be saved by cutting back on the paper used for handouts makes me happy inside.”

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

Seven years on and graduates are still in debt Mairi Gordon MINISTERS HAVE admitted that a third of graduates are not earning enough to pay back their student loans seven years after completing their degree.

Recently released figures show that nearly 40,000 UK graduates are not yet earning over £15,000 a year, the threshold income for student loan repayments to begin.

These latest figures were released in response to a parliamentary question from the Liberal Democrats.

Stephen Williams, the LibDem

shadow secretary for Innovation, Universities, and Skills expressed his concerns on the issue, saying: “As the financial crisis worsens the burden on new graduates is going to be even greater.”

Concern over repayments has coincided with evidence questioning the value for money of university degrees.

Research carried out by Professor Robin Naylor of Warwick University found that while the general salary return for degrees remains, this has become more variable, depending on the type of degree.

Meanwhile research from the

University of Kent shows that in 2006, a third of graduates were working in jobs that did not require a degree, and earning less than fellow graduates who were using their degree.

A lack of openings for graduate jobs is likely to cause anxiety for students and loan providers. With the average student now racking up £20,000 of debt over the course of their degree, the rate of return on student loans remains slow.

The annual interest rate for student loans has doubled from 2.4 per cent in 2006 to 4.8 per cent for the new academic year.

The interest rate is pegged to inflation measured by the Retail Price Index.

News of the increase in interest prompted students to submit an e-petition to 10 Downing Street urging the government to peg interest rates according to the CPI, the government’s own measure inflation.

Unlike the RPI, the CPI excludes mortgage costs and would offer a more forgiving rate of interest on student loans.

While the government looks set to maintain their current measure of interest rates, the student

finance system continues to face criticism.

The National Union of Students has called on the government to replace the current funding system with simpler, more centralised financial support for all UK students.

NUS President Wes Streeting has described the financial aid system as “broken”, saying that the current interest rate made a “myth” of the government’s promise to provide affordable higher education.

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

Revealed; the millions Edinburgh makes from arms companies Continued from front page... hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of research funding from them year on year - a sentiment which students in Edinburgh have identified with.

Ethical investment campaigner Ruth Middler told Student: “I am appalled that Edinburgh University attracts research grants and funding from BAE systems. By conducting research for arms companies the University is giving moral support to what they are doing.

“For the University to disinvest from BAE while knowingly taking money from them in another guise is unacceptable. These are not the actions of a University that cares about

ethics.”

The recent findings correspond to figures in the ‘Study War No More’ report released last year by the Campaign Against the Arms Trade (CAAT) which named BAE systems and QinetiQ as Edinburgh University’s largest annual sponsors of armsrelated research projects.

The report confirmed that in 2006 there were 70 projects funded by both the Ministry of Defence and private arms companies at the University with the Schools of Engineering, Informatics and Medicine as the three departments which received the most funding from military organisations.

With the opening of the new Informatics building in George Square designed to ‘attract research’ to the

University, and with BAE systems present at the careers fair this year after being absent since Edinburgh’s disinvestment it is likely these projects will increase.

CAAT’s Tim Street vehemently argued against university arms links and stated that information on universities’ military funding should be more transparent and available within the public domain: “Whether or not students and dons regard the commercialisation of higher education as financially necessary, they shouldn’t be made to contribute to commercial interests which involve not just corporate profit, but the development of products designed to maim and kill; nor to collaborate with companies whose

core markets include conflict zones and human rights abusers” he said.

The recent findings come as Brit-

ain was officially labelled the world’s top arms exporter this summer.

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

THE ART OF WAR: BAE, manufacturers of the Tornado fighter jet among other military technologies, are pouring money into the University

Week 4 14.10.08

Student

News 3

Burma disinvestment unlikely University reluctant to sell devalued shares Neil Simpson STUDENTS HAVE joined EUSA President Adam Ramsay in renewed calls for an end to Edinburgh University’s investment in Total, a multinational oil company with business interests in Burma.

Yet the global financial crisis has meant that any divestment from Total would lead to the University making significant losses.

People and Planet (P&P), who are leading the move, told Student that they had attended a series of meetings with University officials regarding divestment from Total, which has come under criticism for its links to the Burmese military junta, including alleged human rights abuses.

EUSA passed a motion at its Annual General Meeting last year to urge the university to divest from Total after a Student investigation revelaed Edinburgh University’s shares in the French oil company. Yet university representatives, according to P&P, were “not persuaded that their disinvestment from Total would make any impact.”

Edinburgh University also allegedly “questioned whether Burma would be better with Total rather than without them.”

EUSA president Adam Ramsay has spoken out on the issue, telling Student that “Academics and students alike will be unhappy to learn that our university’s

ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK: Calls for disinvestment from Burma’s brutal military junta are likely to fall on deaf ears. investments are going to a company propping up this horrific regime.”

The finance department at Edinburgh University notes that withdrawal from investments will be considered only if a company’s ethics are “wholly contrary to the University’s value systems…or in

regard to wider issues of social, environmental and humanitarian concern.”

In 2006 Edinburgh University had £647, 219 worth of shares in Total, which has been severely hit by recent economic turbulence.

From a high of €58.2 per share,

the French oil giant’s shares have slumped to €35.9. Consequently the university could risk losing out financially if it were to divest.

However Ramsay has noted that “the truth is that this costly process [of the University divesting] could be enough to help tip the monstrous

regime over the edge.”

Yet it is unclear if a withdrawal of support from the university would affect Total’s global strategy in any significant sense.

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Police target student ‘money mules’ Uni stays world no. 23 Lyle Brennan THE POLICE and several major banks are cracking down on the growing trend of students being lured into money laundering scams. With recruitment on the rise, students are being warned of the serious legal consequences of participating in fraud.

The Scottish Crime and Drug Enforcement Agency (SCDEA) has teamed up with HBOS, Royal Bank of Scotland, Clydesdale Bank and Yorkshire Bank to prevent the spread of this particular type of fraud, in which ‘money mules’ agree to receive illegal funds into their bank accounts before forwarding them at a profit.

Recruitment often takes place under the guise of legitimate employment; adverts for ‘money transfer agents’ have appeared in newspapers, recruitment websites and spam emails. Figures released by the Association for Payment Clearing Services show a 25 per cent increase in detected incidences of these adverts over the past year, with 873 having emerged in the first half of 2008.

As a group, students have proved to be particularly susceptible to these schemes, seeking a quick solution to the financial strains of studying.

However, the SCDEA’s Detective

Chief Inspector Alan Cunningham was keen to assure students that money mule scams are not a source of ‘easy money’: “The penalties attached to money laundering activity are serious and long-lasting. People who are caught risk a custodial sentence, a bad credit rating and a criminal record.

“In addition, people who allow their bank account to be used in this way are helping criminals to fund serious organised crime, are indirectly contributing to the misery faced by Scotland’s communities at the hands of these criminals.”

Shelagh Green, Acting Director

“Fraud is never a victimless crime” Jonathan Shawcross, RBS at the University of Edinburgh’s Careers Service, told Student: “We would encourage students to seek our advice if they have any doubts or suspicions about any advert, whether on SAGE or elsewhere. We make use of our professional networks - e.g. the National Association of Student Employment Services - to check out suspicious vacancies.

“We recommend that students should treat any job offer with

caution, but especially if it seems too good to be true. We would encourage students to make their own enquiries, without using the contact details given by the company, as these are often false although convincing.

“Should we receive feedback from students of any such activities at Edinburgh, we pass these on to the relevant authorities.” Green also mentioned a recent spate of scams in which bogus employers ask students for up front payments, often claiming that they are needed for visas.

Jonathan Shawcross, Director of RBS’s Group Security and Fraud department also stressed the need for vigilance among students, saying, “Fraud is never a victimless crime and becoming a money mule can have serious consequences for you.

“We are committed to tackling financial crime in all its forms. I am delighted that we are working in collaboration with law enforcement and industry partners on this initiative to protect our local communities across Scotland.”

In an attempt to raise awareness of money mule scams, 100,000 promotional drinks coasters were distributed across Scottish campuses as part of last week’s National Identity Fraud Prevention Week.

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James Ellingworth THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh has put in a strong showing in newlypublished world university rankings, being placed 23rd for the second year running as many British institutions lost ground.

The Times Higher Education-QS rankings rate Edinburgh as the sixthbest British institution, a welcome boost for the university after it slipped down the scale in other recent British league tables.

University Principle Sir Timothy O’Shea said that: “It is extremely gratifying to have held our position in the top 25 for the second year running against so many top-quality institutions from around the world.”

However, there has been concern at the performance of British universities as a whole, since there are now 17, compared to 19, British universities in the top 100.

At the top of the table, the Oxbridge institutions have fallen behind leading American competitors. US insitutions make up a third of all the universities in the top 200.

The publication of the rankings has led to renewed calls for greater funding for UK higher education.

Commentators have pointed out that the annual endowment for the

highest-ranked university, Harvard, exceeds the combined annual funding for all British universities.

The University and College Union (UCU), which represents lecturers and other academic staff, highlighted the fact that the UK spends half as much on universities as the US, as a percentage of gross domestic product.

Sally Hunt, general secretary of the UCU, said that without extra funding in the future: “the UK’s position as a global leader in higher education is at risk.”

Wendy Piatt, director-general of the Russell Group of leading British universities, of which Edinburgh is a member, said: “The table reflects the growing strength of our competitors – particularly US institutions – which benefit from much higher levels of investment than British universities.”

“Without increased investment, there is a real danger that the United Kingdom’s success will not be sustained.”

The rankings are compiled using a number of criteria, including a survey of academics and graduate employers, the number of times a university’s research is referred to in academic publications, and the ratio of students to staff.

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

Jame

4 News

Student

Week 4 14.10.08

A pound for your thoughts?

Samantha Groenestyn Westminster is counting the costs of higher education following a campaign stunt carried out by the UK Youth Parliament (UKYP) last week which saw over 9000 £1 coins carrying stickers enter circulation.

The stickers read ‘Free for all,’ and are designed to raise awareness among MPs and the general public of rising university tuition fees.

They have begun their travels in Westminster thanks to the aid of MPs who have joined the UKYP in the fight to abolish university fees south of the border.

The 9000 coins represent the total cost of an undergraduate degree, with the annual cost in England and Northern Ireland reaching £3145, though Wales has a cap at £1255 for Welsh students, and Scotland offers free tuition to native Scots.

The stunt is the latest step in the campaign initiated in 2006 by James Greenhalgh, member of the youth parliament for East Staffordshire. He hopes that the message will “hit the PM in the pocket.”

“No one can say you shouldn’t be allowed to get an education because of your social status or wealth,” Greenhalgh told Student.

He believes the Scottish system, which he describes as “brilliant”, proves that free education is feasible for all UK students.

Further, Greenhalgh says the extension of the policy to the rest of the UK would give Scottish

students more freedom to choose their tertiary institution, rather than being compelled to remain in Scotland.

The National Union of Students’ (NUS) policy points to business as a viable source of education funding, given its greater dependence on a graduate workforce, in response to claims that individual students should contribute more to their own education.

However NUS President Wes Streeting has declined to call for free higher education, stating that it is unlikely to be achieved on a UK level.

Greenhalgh told Student that he believes students are contributing by footing their living costs.

“You’ve got to contribute in some way. It takes commitment to live on so little. If fees are abolished, people won’t start going to university for the hell of it.”

“University applications are not skyrocketing in Scotland and I think that’s a good indication for the rest of the UK.” Labour entered British government in 1997 with the target of ensuring 50% of young people entered higher education by 2010.

Greenhalgh continued: “I don’t agree with targets, but the government have set up this target and they’re not meeting it.”

“Only 40% of young people are going to uni. The government is failing themselves and failing young people.”

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

1 in 3

Young people avoid university due to costs

A recent UKYP survey of 6000 young Britons found many were turned off by the costs of higher education

London could be three short hours away Airs and Lyle Brennan THE SCOTTISH Government, it has transpired, will have to co-operate with Westminster Conservatives if the proposed high-speed rail link between Scotland, London and mainland Europe is ever to become

a reality.

The Conservatives first unveiled the plans as part of an initiative to streamline public transport by using the train service to replace unnecessary domestic flights, which are harmful to the environment.

Initial proposals for a new line,

A SPEEDY RESOLUTION?: The plans for a high-speed rail link have sparked a political row

starting in London and extending no further than Manchester and Leeds, attracted sweeping criticism from politicians in Scotland and North East England, with many fearing that these areas would face exclusion and isolation.

The SNP’s MSP for Lothians,

Shirley-Anne Somerville, issued a statement in which she commented that, “Without extending a high speed line from London up to Edinburgh the Conservatives will fail to cut out the short haul flights they claim this is aimed at… it seems the Conservatives have forgotten Scotland altogether”.

However, Conservative leader David Cameron has now promised that, should his party win the next general election, extension of the railway will happen – providing the Scottish Government agrees to fund tracks north of the border. The project is expected to cost around £20 billion in total.

It has been estimated that the link would enable passengers to travel from Edinburgh to London in around three hours or, potentially, from Glasgow to Paris in just over five. With the routes currently provided by National Express, train journeys from Edinburgh to London take around four hours and 50 minutes, meaning that a high-speed service would cut travel times dramatically.

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graces

Neil Pooran FRESH AIR, the University of Edinburgh’s student-run radio station, has had a strong showing at the latest national student radio awards.

Fresh Air staff were nominated for two awards, with Tallah Brash up for Best Female Presenter and Jordan Rogers Smith up for Best Newcomer.

The station also received a nomination for Best Technical Achievement for the Fresh Air Facebook application.

Station Manager Anna Proctor said: “These are the most prestigious awards available, to get three nominations is truly remarkable and a massive credit to the station. A lot of hard work goes into Fresh Air, and a lot of talent comes out; hopefully this latest accolade will encourage EUSA to make good on their promise of last year to play Fresh Air across more student venues.”

The London awards ceremony will be hosted by Scott Mills and Fern Cotton. Fresh Air radio is available most hours of the day on www.freshair.org.uk.

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

Student

Week 4 14.010.08

News 5

Welsh students set to lose out The Weekly Patrick Andelic

A NEW report has recommended that the Welsh Assembly Government no longer ensure that all Welsh students pay lower tuition fees than in England.

At present Welsh students pay £1,200 per year, instead of the £3,000 paid by students from other parts of the UK, at an annual cost to government of £61 million.

The report proposes replacing the current system with one that is targeted, and linked to family income.

The result would be that those students from low income backgrounds would be given the most financial support, while those from high income backgrounds would receive little.

These measures could lead to the abolition of the £1,890 that is at present given to all Welsh students.

It is proposed that the Assembly Learning Grant (ALG) for the most disadvantaged students should be increased to £5,000 or £6,000.

Students could then use this money either to pay their fees up front or for maintenance throughout the year.

Planet

The report also recommended that the earnings threshold at which graduates have to begin repaying their student loans be increased from £15,000 to £18,000-20,000.

The report was compiled by a ‘task and finish group’ established in June and headed by Professor Merfyn Jones, Vice-Chancellor of Bangor University.

The group presented their report to the Education Minister, Jane Hutt, last week and she is expected to deliver a formal response next month.

“It’s cheap tinkering rather than spending money on education” Ben Lewis, fourth-year student

A spokesman for Ms. Hutt commented: “The minister will now consider this very important piece of work in the coming weeks in consultation with her cabinet colleagues and will formally respond in November.”

Ben Lewis, 21, a fourth-year Classics and Medieval History

The week’s most pressing news. Compiled by US Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke

Road rage radge headbutts bus

Vice Chancellor Merfyn Jones (right) with Prime Minister Gordon Brown student at Edinburgh, who was brought up in Wales, told Student: “I don’t think it solves the problem. It seems to fail to address the big issue of education in schools. It’s cheap tinkering rather than spending money on education lower down.”

He continued: “The benefits that you can get for going to university in Wales should be stopped first before taking money away from those that study outside Wales. If

they want a fair playing field then those issues need to be looked at.”

These recommendations form the first part of the group’s report, looking at student debt and widening access.

The second part of the report, dealing with the purpose and role of higher education in Wales, is expected by February 2009.

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The spoils of Freshers’ Week

Edinburgh teenager Peter Macdonald faces jail after embarking on a brief bout of senseless violence that included smashing a random car windscreen and headbutting a bus.

Macdonald’s rampage began early on May 13 in Gorgie Road after a row with his girlfriend. A pub window was also smashed in the attack.

Sherrif Gordon Little labelled him as ‘a complete radge’, to use a local phrase. Sentencing is due next month.

The bus is presumed to be left undamaged by Mr. Macdonald’s head.

Source: Scotsman

‘Pro-Islamic’ doll instils panic in USA Parents in Oklahoma and Pennsylvania were up in arms last week after fears were expressed that a popular doll was spreading Islamic and Satanic dogma among children.

The gurgling sounds made by the ‘Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo’ have been interpreted by many as ‘Islam is the light’ and ‘Satan is king’.

Toy manufacturing giants Fisher-Price, who made the doll, issued a response insisting that, ‘The only scripted word the doll says is “mama”.’

The product has since been removed from some WalMart and Target stores, although no nationwide recall is planned.

Source: FOXNews.com

Flickr user Monodot CROWD PLEASERS: A DJ at Potterrow, one of several Edinburgh University venues to see profits soar during a successful Freshers’ Week.

James Ellingworth STUDENT UNDERSTANDS that EUSA-run venues were surprisingly successful in Freshers’ Week, with overall takings up by as much as 18 per cent.

The increase comes despite stiff competition from rival Edinburgh venues, which have been increasingly aggressive in targeting the lucrative freshers market, typically with aggressive discounting of alcohol.

The news continues a run of good performances by EUSA venues, with EUSA last year being one of only a few student associations in the country to make a profit on

entertainment. Despite this, however, EUSA remains heavily in debt.

The results, revealed this week behind closed doors in a EUSA ‘debrief’, also seem to prove the success of the association’s policy to broaden the focus of Freshers’ Week beyond its traditionally alcoholsoaked image.

As part of this campaign, EUSA venues did not run any drinks promotions during Freshers’ Week, a move accompanied by a high-profile safe drinking campaign, and a record number of non-alcohol-related alternative events.

Student understands that takings in the Teviot Library Bar were more

than double those for the previous year, largely as a result of the bar offering a wider range of food.

In addition, the catering facilities at Potterrow posted an increase of 3.4 per cent on 2007, despite the venue scrapping one outlet entirely and no longer serving hot food.

Camilla Pierry, the Committee of Management Executive Member for Bars, described this as an “indicator of the way students are responding to encouragement to use their Unions in the daytime, to socialise and meet new people rather than just for evening drinking.”

However, John Doyle, a 17-yearold fresher studying law and French,

cast doubt on the success of the alternative events: “I really didn’t notice them that much.”

“They didn’t seem to be that well publicised, most of what I saw was very alcohol-related.”

A survey of students recently conducted by Student found that 20 per cent of those asked thought Freshers’ Week was too alcoholoriented.

In addition, 73 per cent of respondents said that they had drunk more than the recommended daily amount of alcohol per day.

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

Airborne dolphin ‘punches harder than Tyson’ An couple in their sixties were treated for cuts and bruises after a 400lb bottlenose dolphin leapt into their motorboat in Florida.

Norman and Barbara Howard of Ohio were riding their daughter’s boat under a bridge near Smyma Beach, when the animal - thought to be a calf - suddenly landed on the deck.

In the ensuing panic, the couple were knocked down by the dolphin’s tail before managing to shove it overboard.

Mr Howard said, “That thing had a good punch. Mike Tyson does not hit that hard.”

Source: Telegraph

6 News

Mental health on campus Continued from front page... periods occurred in semester 2, when over 60 per cent of students waited over three weeks between their initial appointment and continued counselling.

According to a spokesperson for Health In Mind, an Edinburgh association for mental health, these waiting times are not desirable and could hinder students coming to the University for help.

“While resources at universities are getting better, it is still an uphill struggle,” a spokeswoman said. “The important thing is that if people do come forward and disclose that they have mental health issues, there really should be support waiting for them.”

Stuart Lambert, an Edinburgh resident, experienced depression throughout his time at Glasgow Caledonian University, resulting in him dropping out.

“University was definitely a trigger for my depression and I could just not cope mentally with being in this brand new world, away from friends and family,” Lambert said. “It was like a computer crashing and my brain just couldn’t deal with the pressure.”

According to Lambert, counselling services at university are not always explained to students from the start and would benefit from being more transparent and easily accessible.

While only 14 per cent of students using the Student Counselling Service were registered with the Disability Office, officials explained the difficulty some students can face in defining their mental health needs and registering them officially.

“Registering a disability requires a letter from a medical practitioner detailing a particular diagnosis of a long term or on-going condition and how this impacts on the student’s functioning,” said Ronnie Millar, the deputy director of the Student Counselling Service.

“For many of the students coming for counselling their mental or emotional difficulties are not long-term.”

In an attempt to provide clear and consistent support for students with mental health problems, a new mental health mentoring project was set up by the University this year and aims to provide stability for students who do not wish to be sent from one service to another.

While officials said the stigma surrounding mental health was slowly being overcome, it is a factor that seems to be affecting more males than it does females. 69 per cent of those using the counselling services were female.

“This gender imbalance can be connected to societal perceptions about gender roles, how men cope with emotional difficulties let alone admit to them, and how difficult it can be for men to ask for help,” Millar said.

Aiming to provide young people in Edinburgh with more information on mental health, Health In Mind have recently set up a website on behalf of the City of Edinburgh Council. In the last year alone, the website has received over 10,000 hits from the Edinburgh community.

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

Student

Week 4 14.10.08

More bad news from tram works

PITFALLS: Plans for Edinburgh tram lines hope to revolutionise travel around the city, but local businesses have complained that the extensive road works taking place on their doorsteps are turing away customers. The work is due to continue for another three years, and Princes Street is set to close for six months. Photo by Gillian Lim.

Sara D’Arcy EDINBURGH’S RECENT tram development is set to cause further chaos with Princes Street, Edinburgh’s main retail street, set to close for six months.

The street closure, which began on Sunday, is due to work to move utility pipes under the Mound junction, so tram lines can be laid.

MSPs voted unanimously for the Edinburgh Tram Bill in March 2006, claiming that the tram line would decrease inner city congestion, entice tourists to visit the city, help local business and be more eco-

friendly than travelling by car or bus.Work began on the £512 million project in March of this year.

Edinburgh has already seen rising problems in the early stages of the estimated three year project.

There has been an increase in traffic congestion, as both Leith Walk and Princes Street were reduced to one lane.

Local businesses have claimed that their trade has declined by approximately 25% since the tram work began. The government has offered all independent businesses a £4,000 compensation grant, which traders argue does not cover the

extreme losses that they are facing.

Tram developers, Transport Initiatives Edinburgh, are planning to fully close Princes Street from January to July 2009 in an attempt to keep the project to the 2011 deadline. This has provoked outrage from shop owners and commuters with the problems already caused by the tram work set to escalate.

It is expected that the complete closure of Princes Street will result in rocketing congestion with traffic being diverted to George Street.

As well as congestion, University of Edinburgh students can also expect irregular bus routes. The

tram work is likely to increase commuting time for all inner city workers.

Many business owners are claiming that the Edinburgh trams are creating more problems than the line is set to solve.

The tram service will only operate a limited line from Edinburgh Airport to Newhaven, Leith, so trams will not be a solution for those living outside the city, who continue to face limited public transport to the centre.

Read more in Lifestyle page 22...

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

No panic at the disco Dominic Larsson EDINBURGH POLICE have launched a crackdown on underage drinking in under 18s club nights.

The strict new measures will see everyone entering the club nights being breathalysed by bouncers or youth workers, and denied entry if they are found to have been drinking.

Officers will also patrol the streets outside venues to help enforce the zero tolerance policy on alcohol and drunkenness at the events.

The scheme, know as ‘Clubzone +’, brings together police, transport operators and youth groups in an attempt to stamp out anti-social behaviour in the Capital as the city prepares to enter a major party season.

Supt Mark Williams from Lothian and Borders Police said: “Clubzone + is a really successful partnership initiative that puts the safety of young people first and also takes into account the local impact of the discos.

“The Council and other key partners have invested financially, and with time and energy, to make sure young people in Edinburgh can enjoy themselves in a safe and supportive environment.”

Andrew Chadwick, who runs the popular under 18s night ‘Puppytooth’, commented: “Puppytooth is an underage alternative night at Cabaret Voltaire and security is always pretty tight, with kids being breathalysed as they go through the door. So far it’s not been a problem and at our last event there was less than ten people

turned away.

“The kids who come to our club are aware of the rules, we make sure they know the policy regarding alcohol and they’ve always been happy to comply. Clubzone+ has done nothing

‘Puppytooth’ at Cabaret Voltaire

to negatively effect the turnout or the atmosphere. To be honest I feel the effect on us is pretty minimal, considering our usual crowd.”

Contact news@studentnewspaper.org

Week 4 14.10.08

Features 7

Student

Student Features

Taxi for Salmond’s new tax plans Despite welcome news emerging recently, Alex Salmond’s controversial new tax plans could hit poorer students the hardest. Neil Pooran examines the Scottish Parliament’s latest rammy

I

F YOU plan to live in the UK after graduation, chances are you’ll look back on your halcyon student days with nostalgia for more than one reason.

Not least of which is the fact that sooner rather than later you’ll be receiving whopping great council tax bills through your letterbox.

After that you’ll probably start to wish those noisy students down the street would stop stealing the traffic cones your tax pounds are paying for.

Students currently get an exemption from local council tax, which is based on the value of the property you occupy. Generally, the more your property is worth, the more you pay.

Yet, if new legislation passes through the Scottish Parliament, thousands of students could see themselves coughing up for the council.

First Minister Alex Salmond hopes to capitalise on a torrent of discontent with the current council tax system by replacing it with a 3p in the pound Local Income Tax (LIT) that will be based on earned income. The plans have yet to pass through the Scottish Parliament, but they have already set Scotland’s febrile political scene alight.

The SNP were forced into a sheepish admission earlier this year that up to 55, 000 students will be dragged into LIT. Two weeks ago saw something of a turnaround when Finance Secretary John Swinney announced that they would be

Up to 55, 000 students could be dragged into Local Income Tax ‘actively considering’ giving students an exemption from this tax, but proposals have yet to be finalised.

The students hurt by LIT would mainly be those who work during term-time and over the summer to pay for their studies, who often struggle to make ends meet between overdrafts and ever-rising accommodation rates. Meanwhile their counterparts who rely on generous parental support would continue to pay nothing, as well as receive the benefits of not having to juggle work hours with studying. These tend to be students from more well-off backgrounds, while working students are usually less financially comfortable.

And the principle argument in favour of LIT? It is a more progressive tax system, with richer people paying more.

The Scottish Government says

LIT will be much fairer than council tax, but this may ring hollow to students forced to give up a chunk of their earnings which previously would have gone towards keeping them in education.

If the SNP confirm that students will receive an exemption from the new tax it will no doubt be warmly welcomed around Scottish campuses, yet opposition parties will remain hostile. Alex Salmond has been able to push controversial legislation through Parliament before but even he will struggle to put LIT into action.

Scottish Labour derides it as a ‘Nat Tax’ which will leave Scotland the highest-taxed part of the UK. Their new leader Ian Gray fears it will drive away high earners while simultaneously failing to raise enough money to pay for local services. This has brought the unions out against it too, whose public sector members have already been on strike due to council cuts.

Gray has argued that the current economic turmoil means it is no time to risk alienating people in the banking sector who may take what remaining jobs are left south of the border.

The Scottish Conservatives say money earmarked for the LIT plan would be better spent on cutting existing council tax rates for struggling families.

The Liberal Democrats support LIT in principle, but point out that it is not ‘local’ at all; rather it is set by central government in Edinburgh.

As such they are pushing for local councils to have the power to set the tax rates themselves. Lib Dem support will be vital if the minority SNP administration wants to avoid a humiliating defeat.

For their part, the SNP claim to have popular support for the proposals. Council tax has long been a sticky political issue, with many finding its property band distinction to be arbitrary and an unfair way of collecting taxes.

In particular, pensioners tend to suffer with council tax bills as they have little or no income to spare.

Since the LIT scheme is based on the ability to pay, the SNP argues pensioners will be among the many that get a better deal out of another income tax rather than a property tax.

Arguments for reforming the council tax system are compelling, but a new tax that has no exemption for students could only harm young Scots in higher education. Student representatives will no doubt put pressure on John Swinney to keep them exempt from LIT, yet another handout for Scottish students may be hard to come by.

Contact features@studentnewspaper.org

TAKE MY STRONG HAND: Students already drowning in debt might have to pay Local Council Tax (LIT) under new SNP proposals unless Alex Salmond throws students a lifeline by exempting them from the tax

Pros •

It is based on the ability to pay, making it fairer

•

The current system is unpopular and discriminatory

•

Most households will be better off, according to the Scottish Government

Cons

vs

•

Without an exemption it is unfair to students, with those who work paying more

•

The numbers don’t appear to add up, this will create a funding ‘black hole’

•

It will force richer people to pay taxes in England, meaning less money for Scotland

8 Features

Student

Week 14.10.08

Student Features

“I’m ready for my mugshot Mr Demille”

Jen Bowden reads the riot act on Hollywood’s Bright Young Felons, and asks why celebrities receive such unwarranted leniency

C

ELEBRITIES HAVE been in public favour for as long as we can remember. However, unlike the movie stars of old, whose public image was meticulously and ruthlessly protected, modern celebrities are often more famous for their wrongdoings than their talents. You’d never hear of Grace Kelly downing a bottle of vodka then getting behind the wheel, or Marilyn Monroe beating up a fellow actress to the point where she’s jailed for assault, but for a modern celebrity such instances just mean more column inches for their latest movie/single/fragrance. So, the question is, why are modern celebrities so prone to bad behaviour, and why are their punishments different from other criminals?

This week American citizens saw football star O.J Simpson convicted on 12 charges including assault, armed robbery and kidnapping.

Though he was acquitted in 1995 of murdering his ex-wife and her friend, many Americans voiced their satisfaction that he’d finally been put behind bars. Thirteen years to the day (clearly an unlucky number for Mr. Simpson) since his previous trial’s glove-focused disintegration, he was found guilty of armed robbery in this high profile court case. His future

certainly looks shaky, as a possible life sentence has been suggested. However, while O.J’s punishment is being greeted in some quarters as suitable and not before time, many other celebrity criminals are let off a little too lightly.

Take Paris Hilton for example, a selfemployed ‘socialite’ whose day job consists of very little other than brushing her hair, and whose unsavoury evening activities keep cropping up on the Internet.

Originally fined a meagre £582 and given a three-year probation period for drink driving, Paris managed to somehow re-offend.

She clearly didn’t understand the terms of her probation, managing to drive on a suspended license with her lights off, which resulted in the famous jail sentence fiasco.

I don’t use the word fiasco lightly; her 45 day actually had people sighing with relief that a celebrity was finally going to serve a decent sentence worthy of the crime. When it was reduced to 23 days, the public didn’t seem really surprised that the old ‘good behaviour’ excuse had bailed out yet another starlet. The wealthy heiress was released only 3 days into her sentence and ordered to stay in her house with a tag around her ankle. One can only assume that the tag was more of a punishment than the house confinement to such a fashionista. Her brush with the law seems to have inspired a trend for starlets getting arrested: Lindsay Lohan was arrested for DUI and cocaine possession, and Paris’s weasel-faced ‘frenemy’ Nicole Richie was charged with driving under a suspended license and heroin possession.

Another example closer to home

is disgraced footballer and all-round bad guy Joey Barton, a man with an inexplicable temper and thousands in the bank. 25 year old Barton has been jailed for assault twice, including an incident where he subbed out a cigarette on a boy’s face, and another where he punched a 16 year old after punching another man 20 times earlier that evening. Charming.

Yet, despite his jail sentence and clear lack of discipline, Newcastle United manager Kevin Keegan clearly thought he was worth another shot.

He, like Paris, served a ridiculous amount of his sentence: 74 days out of a given 6 months is clearly unacceptable. Of course football has its own rules, where a suitable punishment for assault, this time on teammate Ousmane Dabo, cost Barton 6 matches. Matches, not months in prison, as many say it should have been.

And how can we forget good old Pete Doherty? With a previous-list as long as his relationship with Kate Moss, how did he get away with only 18 months of rehab and a 2 year supervision order?

Easy:

he’s famous.

Possession of crack cocaine, and heroin, driving offences, alleged robbery and blackmail, all offences that would cost the regular criminal a good

7 year stint in prison, left Doherty laughing. Well, maybe not laughing, but certainly free to continue a tour with Babyshambles.

Appropriately really, as celebrity justice itself is a shambles. When stars are punished for their wrongdoings, they are treated like fallen heroes rather than common criminals. Where ordinary members of the crime-committing-public receive maximum sentences in some cases, celebrities are treated with cotton wool. Though it’s not an explicit failing in the justice system, the fact that such people have the ability to afford teams of the best lawyers advantages them, and their fame influences opinions in a way other criminals could only hope for. Ordinary criminals don’t have their sentences cut short, or their multimillion pound j o b s

waiting for them when they get out, so why should it be different for those in the public eye?

Anne and canoe-enthusiast John Darwin each got 6 years for fraud.

Although what the Darwins did was wrong, they didn’t cause anyone any physical harm (although the emotional damage caused is not to be discounted). Joey Barton seriously injured a fellow player and received a 6-match ban and served a pathetic 74-day prison sentence. It just goes to show that there’s no room for justice in the world of celebrity. The courts, it would seem, don’t quite reach the stars.

You’d never hear of Grace Kelly downing a bottle of vodka then climbing behind the wheel, or Marilyn Monroe getting charged with assault and battery

Students with an ounce of inTEGrity Imran Shahryar believes that when it comes to charity, it’s a matter of mind over money

N

UDGING ITS way in alongside Societies Fair veterans such as Model UN, Link and Oxfam, is one of this year’s EUSA Societies newbies: The Edinburgh Group, an excitingly original student group that marries the values of social contribution with a professional, business-orientated approach.

The Edinburgh Group (TEG) offers consulting services for local non-profit organisations – completely free of charge – and is fresh from its first semester of work, eager to start on its next set of projects.

Inspired by a concept started in Berkeley University, TEG offers students a new way to get involved; reaching outside the self-contained student community in a focused and tangible manner. Members hail from across the spectrum of University disciplines, bringing different perspectives to projects, and they then work as a team to solve the problems that their client organisation is facing. After researching the area as fully as possible, the team comes up with practical solutions which the organisation will be able to use to strengthen themselves. Members jokingly refer to themselves simply

as “an extra set of heads” – the idea being that TEG acts as a ‘think-tank’ for the clients, who are often far too busy doing their day-to-day work to afford the time to think ‘outside the box’.

Last semester, The Edinburgh Group’s three projects included a feasibility study for a floundering boat-building social enterprise, a detailed five-year business plan for a door-to-door care service and a re-branding strategy for a homeless outreach programme at risk of huge funding cuts. These projects might sound complicated, but given a bit of help along the way, members are

often surprised by how simple it is to use straight-forward thinking to tackle the assigned task.

TEG believes that charities and non-profit organisations require an insight that stems deeper than just isolated financial awareness. Their teams consist of people who have a true passion for charity and social contribution, a passion which is applied to responding to the sensitivities of individual organisations, thereby delivering valuable recommendations and suggestions.

Flushed by last year’s positive results, the young society is looking ahead to this year, with new clients

and projects in the pipeline, emerging ties within the consulting and business sectors, and a more publicised position within the University community, hopefully resulting in wider recruitment. The Edinburgh Group hopes to offer more students the chance to get involved in projects that help tie the typically isolated University population of Edinburgh into the city’s local fabric.

For further information check out the website at: www.theedinburghgroup.org

Week 4 14.10.08

Student

Features 9

That’s the way the cookie crumbled Mairi Gordon digests the history of biscuits: which involves everything from hob-nobbing with

Alexander the Great to making the fortunes of sugar-daddy Alexander Grant.

W

HILE THE search for British identity continues, one integral feature of daily life in the UK continues to be chronically overlooked. Hopeful candidates for UK citizenship may now have to answer questions such as what do vets do, and where is Scouse spoken (two obvious hallmarks of Britishness according to the government handbook). Yet our country’s most beloved institution goes without mention though it’s more

British than the British museum.

I am talking, of course, about the biscuit. While sceptics may doubt the potential of a ginger nut or a hob-nob, the humble biscuit might be the missing link to understanding just about everything British and good.

Of course the biscuit did not originate in Britain. Perhaps its earliest ancestor was nibbled in Persia where inhabitants began cultivating sugar, capitalising on its many sweet uses.

With a little help from expanding trade routes and the crusades, sugar steadily made its way from Persia to the East Mediterranean to Europe.

The availability and affordability of sugar steadily i n creased so that by the Elizabethan age, British cookbooks were full of recipes for biscuits, cakes and pastries. The Goode Huswife’s Jewel, pub-

lished in 1596, advised women on the art of making fine cakes, warning, “do not burn them, if they be three of four days old they be better.”

Biscuits travelled further still. Accounts from the third crusade say that King Richard the Lionheart left for battle in 1189 with a ‘biskit of muslin’ made largely from mixed corn, barley and rye. Biscuits remained an integral part of a sailor’s diet until canned food and bread was introduced in the 1800’s. In the year 1521, following Hernan Cortes’ conquest of the Aztecs, European explorers returned with another ingredient destined to revolutionize the fledgling biscuit industry: chocolate.

Meanwhile European immigrants to the Americas adapted their biscuit recipes to life across the pond, laying the foundation for the centuries old rivalry between the American cracker or cookie (derived from the Dutch word koekje meaning little cake) and the British biscuit (derived from the Latin bis coctum, meaning twice baked). Despite the rivalry between these two sweet-toothed baking giants, cookies and biscuits are inarguably the product of a shrinking world, where seas became smaller and borders much less imposing.

With ingredients and recipes whizzing from continent to continent the biscuit gradually came to resemble the sweet treat it is today.

In 1799, Edinburgh dwelling biscuit pioneer, Alexander Grant, invented the now beloved Digestive. The name digestive was derived from the widely held belief that one ingredient, baking soda, greatly aids digestion. This humble biscuit was described

by Bill Bryson as a “British masterpiece” with the chocolatecoated variety being guzzled down at an average of 52 biscuits a second in the UK alone. South of the border, in Yorkshire the Rich Tea Biscuit was developed, designed to appeal to the upper classes. While it is often criticized for its bland taste, the tea biscuit remains a staple on British supermarket shelves, presumably due to the transformation that takes place when it is dunked in a cup of tea.

Of course the Rich Tea biscuit cannot perhaps compare to the luxury and complexity of the Jaffa Cake, which McVites launched on the confection market at the end of World War II. Despite the financial austerity of post-war Britain

biscuits came to our shores more often through war and conquest than through goodnatured curiosity and trade. But the history of most countries is tinged with bitterness and is stale around the edges. Biscuits should still be celebrated as the sweet and simple result of far weightier and complex forces.

In short, anyone who has even a passing interest in being British or understanding people who are, should dig out some change from under their sofa and start at the biscuit aisle.

My planet, not my people Thomas Kerr takes a stand against the gesture politics of People and Planet

A

NYONE WHO is fortunate enough to live south of the University will be all too well acquainted with the cold, damp walk across the Meadows to George Square. They might also be aware of the graffiti that litters the route. One in particular confronted me every day last year. Scrawled in foot high white letters on one of the University sub-stations was the line, “AVIATION IS VANDALISM”. What was this, I used to wonder, idiocy or irony? Were we supposed to look at the ideological contradiction of using vandalism to condemn something as vandalism and suddenly realise the error of our EasyJet ways, the genius of our anonymous artist? I, for one, did not. To me it was an constant reminder that a section of our student population are determined to foist their moronic priorities on us, whatever the rest of the student body thinks.

I was reminded of this fringe grouping again last week as Student

reported Topshop’s decision to remove their staff from the university campus, claiming that they could not in good conscience allow their staff to suffer intimidation from the student pressure group People and Planet.

Neither should we.

Now is the time to stand up to People and Planet: an unrepresentative, small but incredibly vocal fringe group of post-gap year beatniks and ideologues that have made it their mission to impose their environmental totalitarianism on the rest of us.

Nor is this the first time that a minority agenda has dictated university policy. Nescafe products were banned from the Union shops years ago and the same self-appointed commissioners of ethics have attempted to have Coca Cola products banned for years, defeated only by a steady wave of apathy and the inability of this tiny fringe grouping to muster the votes required for a quorum at the University AGMs.

People and Planet will defend their unrepresentative actions as “ethical consumerism” and “environmentalism” and in doing so assume a moral monopoly – and certainly, who is going to dare defend giant corporations against these plucky hippies?

But this isn’t a debate on Topshop, Nescafe or Coca Cola and university students should be educated enough to make their own moral judgements on these companies without the environmental mafia imposing theirs on us. It is the determination with which this unrepresentative minority attempt to enforce their views on us via intimidation and banning that should be deeply worrying to all liberal-minded students.

However, unlike our graffiti crusader above, People and Planet are not anonymous. They rely on our much-celebrated student apathy to thrive, without which they would be revealed for what they truly are - a minuscule fragment of the student

body who represent less than 1% of us. By failing to flex our political muscles at our university we allow People and Planet to wield a disproportionate share of power, and because of that we cannot buy a KitKat in our university shop.

What a ridiculous state of affairs; what a pathetically futile gesture.

So why do we meekly allow this ethical posse to dictate terms to us?

Environmentalism and ethical consumerism seem to have been decided upon as the Great Causes of our age, and support of them has become political orthodoxy. To speak out against these causes is to be condemned as an eccentric at best, a dangerous nutcase at worst, akin to the sort of hysterical reaction that greets any perceived hint of racism or sexism. But extremists also come in the colours of political orthodoxy, and People and Planet should not be tolerated or supported just because they are perceived as being on the

right side of the argument.

They may have been transformed by their exposure to the upsetting realities of the global economy, but we must remember that the members of People and Planet are nevertheless happy to publicise events with the likes of former Zambian dictator Kenneth Kaunda on their Edinburgh website.

What People and Planet trade in is gesture politics. Without the political muscle to actually influence anything, they rely on protests, intimidation and prohibition to spread their message. Yet by our own apathy we have somehow allowed this little gang to wield a woefully disproportionate amount of power over the past decade. Perhaps it’s time to make further use of a fine slogan which rose to popularity with another alienated majority, and stand up to People and Planet and loudly declare, “Not in my name.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off for a fucking KitKat chunky.

Week 4 14.10.08

Student

Comment 11

Student Comment

Blame the players not the game

As the economy reaches record lows James Ellingworth gets tough on bankers behaving badly but staunchly defends our market system in light of recent political pressures

“Wall Street got drunk, and now it’s got a hangover” George W. Bush

T

hat great intellectual of our times, President George W. Bush, described the current financial crisis in the following enlightening terms: “Wall Street got drunk, and now it’s got a hangover.”

The usual Bushism, you might think. However, while Bush may be a man guilty of regularly using misguided ideology to fill the gap where competence should be, perhaps this contribution bears further inspection.

Admittedly, it does conjure up some rather interesting images: the pasty-faced chief executive of HBOS, waking and opening his bleary and bloodshot eyes to discover he somehow got into bed with badger-haired chancellor Alistair Darling. Meanwhile, a scowling Gordon Brown mutters to himself as he cleans up the mess littering the hallway from someone else’s party.

But take Bush’s point seriously, and there really is no other way to describe an industry in which many of the major players go bust as a result of a heady cocktail of vast pay packets focused solely on incentivising ever greater risktaking, and where bankers trade packages of debt so complex that

none of them understand what they’re buying and selling, nor even how much of it they own.

The result was a toxic game of pass-the-parcel. As the ‘Masters of the universe’ unravelled their respective investments, confidence dropped ever further until the current panic set in, leaving nothing and no-one safe.

In the modern world every

What we’re seeing isn’t the great collapse of capitalism, as the various prophets of doom have suggested. aspect of finance is interconnected, and the credit crunch’s victims have come in unexpected places.

Only last week, it was revealed that councils across the UK had been investing their money in Icelandic banks – fine, until these went bust, leaving Kent County Council, to take just one example, with an embarrassing £50m shortfall.

So you might imagine this to be a strange time for me to argue the case for the defence: that the bankers, the fat cats, can and do

benefit society. But I’ll try.

Firstly, what we’re seeing isn’t the great collapse of capitalism, as various prophets of doom have suggested. The simple reason is that almost nobody wants that.

People all over the world prefer the system they know and grew up with, governments too (even nominally communist China), as opposed to taking a wild gamble on an unknown, and quite possibly impossible, alternative.

The simple truth is that the whole banking system is based on mutual benefit – that’s what trade is. At least that’s the case when the deals involved are transparent. That is what a good financial system is supposed to allow to flourish.

The problem here isn’t the idea, it’s the implementation. A transparent financial system allows companies to compete on an equal footing, which encourages businesses to be efficient, transparent in their turn, and to satisfy customers. This is quite clearly a good thing.

In this case, however, the banks thought they could find a short cut to fulfilling their own interests in the way they incentivised their employees, the much-ma-

ligned traders. They paid out big bonuses, obscenely large bonuses, for traders who made big bucks in the short term, and for a while the gamble paid off.

In the hunt for quick profit, which for them meant a better kitchen, in a grander house, with a faster car parked outside, traders explored and invented new ways of trading debts, in packages so

The simple truth is that the whole banking system is based on mutual benefit- that’s what trade is complex that they didn’t have a clue what they were trading, just that it made a profit. The system became murkier, more confusing, and thus riskier. This suited the individual traders, but not their employers, and by extension, not wider society.

All it took was the gradual realisation that most of these deals were based around mortgages given to people who should never have been offered deals in the first place, for the simple reason that

they couldn’t pay. Suddenly, these financial emperors had no clothes, and the system was in crisis.

However, the fault here lies not with the financial system, but with the bosses, individuals who got their sums wrong, the chosen few, hand-picked for their expertise.

They implemented structures that benefited their employees in the short-term, not their companies.

The system will take time to recover. Injured banks mean that companies are unable to work as efficiently, that they have to set their sights lower. But the financiers will rebuild, and they’ll learn their lessons about how employees can be better handled, and banks better run.

Government too has its part to play. Too loose a rein for the banks hurts everyone. Greater controls on recklessly high pay and bonuses for traders should be introduced, as should measures to prevent the same sorts of panicked stampedes occurring again.

The path to sobriety is long, and painful. Just ask America’s most famous recovered alcoholic, President George Walker Bush.

comment@studentnewspaper.org

Student

12 Comment

Week 4 14.10.08

Comment

The Battle for Fife Is voting red still an option for the Glenthroes electorate? First time voter and Glenthroes citizen Alistair Shand discusses the forthcoming bye-election and its implications on national politics

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s a proud Glenrothes citizen for over 18 years, the imminent Glenrothes by-election holds a special significance for me as a first time voter. More importantly it could signal the end of the line for Britain’s premier. Gordon Brown, a “Fifer” himself, and representative for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath is facing a by-election which in geographical terms is on his doorstep.

Less than five miles of dual carriageway separate Brown’s Labour garrison in Kirkcaldy and the current political battleground in Glenrothes.

Should anyone other than Labour triumph in the vote the shockwaves will travel all the way to Downing Street and have national repercussions. As the SNP footsoldiers march into Glenrothes, ready to mount another assault on a Labour majority, the paramount importance of this by-election becomes evident to all. This is an election which could make or break the future of the government.

Until the 2007 Scottish Election, in which the Scottish National Party’s Tricia Marwick was elected as MSP for Central Fife, the town of Glenrothes had been a Labour stronghold. The voters of Fife’s only new town had been notably unimaginative in recent elections up until Labour’s increasing polarisation with the electorate reached a level that meant voting red was simply no longer an option.

The town has been rejuvenated by a Nationalist MSP (Marwick),

whatever her views on the future of the union, who appears to genuinely care about representing the people of Central Fife. This is mimicked on a national scale as Scottish politics revels in a time of interest and relative consensus following the 2007 election and subsequent Nationalist administration. Gordon Brown’s frustrating condescension into perpetual scaremongering over independence has eroded any affinity voters had with the Labour party and now when a Scottish voter looks down the ballot paper they see all the colours of the political rainbow and not just the striking crimson of Labour.

Glenrothes once again goes to the polls to elect someone who will stand up for the needs of a community which craves another strong, local voice. Those who hail from Glenrothes, myself included, are proud of where they come from and this election is another opportunity to choose a representative who will be forward in their desire for a better town and take the views of local people to Westminster. Such leadership is hard to find in contemporary politics, which is dominated by sleaze, scandal and an exasperating slowness of action. Therefore it is imperative that candidates for the Glenrothes by-election run a positive campaign which puts the values of local people first.

Following the “political earthquake” in Glasgow East on 24 July Gordon Brown is under increased

Anam Soomro pressure over the result of the Glenrothes vote. Rumblings within the Labour party and among other parties have been that defeat in Glenrothes would make Brown’s position as Prime Minister “untenable.” In a constituency where the Labour party hold a 10,600 majority surely anything other than a solid, reassuring victory would be absurd. This may have been true in the past, but voters in Glasgow East proved that such a majority can easily be overturned in this new age of politics where New Labour no longer dominate. John

Mason and the SNP snatched victory in a seat in which Labour had held almost an 11,000 majority and thus confirming that a “wind of change” is indeed howling through Scotland.

The humiliating defeat in Glasgow East ensured that discontent within Labour’s ranks heightened and suggested that Gordon Brown may be sitting on a ticking time-bomb. A speech at the Labour Party conference in Manchester that roused many but angered some has bought Britain’s premier some valuable time to rally his campaigning troops

ahead of the Glenrothes election dogfight. However, should defeat ensue in the looming by-election for Gordon Brown then the time-bomb at 10 Downing Street will start to tick a little faster.

Such a loss of another overwhelming majority would have calamitous consequences for the Labour government. Should Brown hang on in denial, which seems probable amid rumours that Downing Street has already “written off” the Glenrothes vote, then he will be spearheading a hollow government. It will be an administration devoid of credibility, political clout and the likelihood is that conflict will break out amongst Labour politicians.

This is not the description of an organisation which will help the UK move forward, especially in these crippling financial times, but one which could do more damage than good. Thus, the Glenrothes by-election on the 6 November is one of mammoth importance and has implications for the future of politics, a premier and people in the United Kingdom. Voters of Glenrothes will decide whether to award Labour a stay of execution or award another party the chance to represent the town. However, one cannot help but think that should the Labour majority be crushed and another political earthquake occur, then it may be the final nail in Gordon Brown’s Labour coffin. comment@studentnewspaper.org

Why she doesn’t drink...

Claire Jarvis explores the benefits of opting for orange juice

I

t always gets spewed out eventually. Be it at a cosy dinner party, inside a throbbing and sticky nightclub or else whilst lounging at the bar. My response to the question posed strikes a tone somewhere between apologetic and defiant: “Um, actually I don’t drink.”

What people do next is oddly predictable: they don’t ask the obvious question – instead they try to guess the answer. “Do you not like the taste? Is it for religious reasons?” Perhaps they don’t want to hit on the fundamental truth of why I am the 100% teetotal Eternally Sober One, in case the truth hurts them too.

The reason I never started drinking was largely due to not encountering alcohol in my youth, and growing up in a family where both parents were barely ‘moderate social drinkers’. To add insult to

injury I was the high school loner who never got invited to illicit parties where laws were broken and naughty fun was had. It was only this summer that I finally suspended my denial and accepted that adults, people who’d passed out of their early twenties, wouldn’t just stop going out with the sole intention of “getting pished”. It shocked me, it really did.

I’ve heard enough in Student already about health and societal harms that come with alcohol.

But drinking culture is deeply entrenched in Britain. It will take more than a couple of prohibition laws to be shifted.

So how does a non-drinker cope in a culture immersed in a solution of alcohol? After feigning headaches and tiredness for the whole of Fresher’s Week, I managed to settle in. It has been a relief to know that when you tell people

that you don’t drink, no one worth your while will try to foist their good spirits on you; you’ll be met with curiosity and wary admiration (many people admit that the British drinking culture is stupid) I can see larger problems existing for people who are known as drinkers but for whatever quirky reasons aren’t always willing to drink. There also exists a sliding scale of peer pressure, cajoling and difficulty. So I prefer to keep things black and white.

Abstainers who know the right group of friends and colleagues can get by without ever feeling insecure; and never need feel inclined to drink to ‘fit in’ or space out. I’ve managed to drift in with a decent crowd or two; but I still get scared by promises of reckless carnage.

It’s always difficult withholding judgement on the antics of your friends, or feeling that you’re the

societal misfit. They’re all drunk.

You’re not. Something is amiss here.

I frequently find myself thinking that with my unhelpful attitude I’m not really a student: I’m merely someone trying to obtain a degree.

I’ve spent the earlier evening chatting away to a nice-looking lad, only to see him later stagger and slur pathetically through dope and booze. I’ve just lost all my respect for you, was that your intention?

You don’t need alcohol to have a good time. There are alternatives, the first step onto the booze train may be there to help you relax; but simply forcing yourself to go out and meet new people will jack up your social skills immensely anyway.

Sobriety may take a little extra effort but the benefits are obvious.

What’s the point in going to good parties if you’re not going to re-

member them and savour the memories?

There is no way in Hell you can mess up orange juice. How many times have your illusions of grandeur been shattered when you found the refreshments on offer included Lidl’s finest £2.99 Le Plonk, tasting exactly like vinegar? Let me tell you something about that jug of forlorn orange juice perched on the edge of the table. It comes straight from ‘Value Concentrate’ every time – and it never fails to be tasty!

You can lose your social inhibitions on the cheap. Either by getting drunk through association or through drinking filter coffee 30mins before the taxi arrives There you have it, orange juice is all I’ve got left. But then again, that’s all you really need. comment@studentnewspaper.org

Student

Week 4 14.10.08

Comment 13

Rowdy and rude?

Catherine McGloin

S

The alternative is secondary travel via technology and the media to gain access into other worlds, yet elements are lost in translation and information reaches you via an interpreter.

Unfortunately the latter is often affected by Colonialist and Orientalist values handed down from the last century. Daily these are being broken down through the development of the global village, integration of communities and sharing of cultures; there is no place in the brave new world of tomorrow for the bigoted imperialist.

By definition, being a human means that we collectively champion and protect the most vulnerable of society; democracy relies on this very foundation. Ultimately each individual has the capacity to act independent of social expectation and stereotype. Germany actively disowns its murderous past.

This ability to preserve or discard social attitudes according to their merits proves that rationality can prevail even if it means disturbing our cosy, conformist cotton wool existence.

For all those who believe in the old testament, Deuteronomy 16:10, “Justice, justice shall you pursue.”

tudent living has once again been scrutinised this week with the insightful suggestion by the housing minister Caroline Flint, that certain university towns should undergo the cleansing process of “de-studentification”.

As the debate over raising the drinking age to 21 rages on, the student lifestyle seems to be causing an increasing amount of resentment amongst politicians and, now it seems, from neighbourhoods who apparently feel pushed out by the 2.5 million students now attending university.

The tendency for clusters of students to live in particular areas has caused the government to propose stricter planning laws. They suggest that by giving councils more power to define HMO (Houses in Multi Occupation) licences as “any dwelling of three or more people from two or more households” it will be easy to regulate the frequency with which students are occupying certain areas.

I was under the assumption that the government were trying to attract people to study at university, not drive them away by placing limits on the choice of student accommodation.

With the average student debt now totaling £20,000, we can’t be blamed for wanting to find the cheapest area within reasonable distance from our campus.

These town planning suggestions might also only help to further foster the ‘them and us’ mentality that Flint aims to tackle, between students and full time residents of the affected areas. According to her proposals residents feel that they are being unfairly priced out of low cost accommodation and have to witness the closure of local schools and churches.

At the moment, renting accommodation to students in Edinburgh is regulated by branding certain neighbourhoods, such as Marchmont, as ‘sensitive areas’ and are therefore protected from what has been projected as an invasion by beer swigging, skip rummaging, rowdy students.

I would just like to point out that most students are respectful of the space around them and of those they may share a stair well with. To spread us out across a wider area would fragment many social groups and would do little to assimilate students within the wider community; not to mention raise the cost of rent, already ill-afforded, as a result of restricted access to HMO licensed properties.

On the other hand, placing us into student ghettos might be an option for Flint to pursue. Then we can all binge drink together, seeing as this is the only student occupation that seems to interest the media at the moment, without being the menace to society that we clearly represent.

comment@studentnewspaper.org

comment@studentnewspaper.org

Zeenath Ul Islam

Jews for a just peace Following the holocaust survivor Hedy Esptstein’s talk at the University of Edinburgh, Zeenath Ul Islam reflects that the cycle of persecuted becoming persecutors can be broken

D

ialogue is the key to resolving conflict. Nestling oneself in the cotton wool of easy like-minded doctrines is sadly the perfect environment for xenophobic myths to breed, and suffocate rational thought.

Last week NATO SecretaryGeneral Jaap de Hoop Scheffer said he would never expect Israel to abandon its ‘supposed nuclear arsenal’. Despite international relations having reached this deadlock, waves of change have been made by ordinary people and that tide has swept across to every corner of the world.

Contrary to popular belief the debate amongst the Jewish community about the viability and legality of the state of Israel is real and growing. The Scottish Jews for a Just Peace, who are sponsoring a UK speaking tour of Hedy Epstein, lifetime peace activist, are a reminder to many that the over simplified picture the media paints bears little similarity to reality.

This group of Jews have supporters in all parts of Scotland and are “opposed to Israeli policies that undermine the livelihoods, human, civil and political rights of the Palestinian people and the ethical and political welfare of the Jewish people. We want Jewish opinions critical of Israeli policy

to be heard in Scotland.”

Having tumbled into Appleton tower with an appetite for intellectual debate, I navigated my way to a seat to be met with the challenging speech of holocaust survivor Hedy Epstein. Born in Germany into a Jewish family, Hedy was eight when Hitler came to power.

Her parents had tried for many years to leave Germany as a family but were unsuccessful. Finally Hedy had to flee on the children’s transport to England alone. Her parents were ultimately sent to the concentration camp Auschwitz and were both killed there. She lived in America with her Aunt and Uncle, where she became active in campaigns for social justice and equality.

Realisation needs a turning point and for Hedy it was 1982 and “the terrible massacres in the two refugee camps of Sabra and Shatila in Lebanon. I needed to find out what the tragedy was all about, why it happened, and who was responsible. Then, when I found out, I needed to learn more about the history of what happened between 1948, when Israel became a state, and 1982 in Sabra and Shatila.”

“When I was researching, I realized that I hadn’t paid attention to what was going on with Israel. The

more I learned and the more I understood, the more I became disturbed by what the Israeli government was doing, and doing in my name. I began to speak out publicly against the policy and practices of the Israeli government and the Israeli military towards the Palestinian people.”

It is extraordinary that someone with such a harrowing history can reassess the status-quo and reach rational conclusions through dialogue. Thus it is not naive nor idealistic to have hope in humanity provided that we never become blinkered in our attitude to the channels of communication.

Personal experiences mould opinions and travel can be a laymen’s tool to access new perspectives, philosophies and gain empathy towards another way of life. There can be no substitute for actually living and working in a foreign culture in the access one gains to a different mindset.

Hedy has actually been to Palestine and taken part in peaceful demonstrations with the Palestinians. They were however shot at with bullets and tear gas by the Israeli military. She now wears a hearing aid having been deafened

by Israeli sonic blasts, like a whole generation of Palestinian children in Gaza.

Student

14 Interview

Week 4 14.10.08

Light at the end of the tunnel Channel Tunnel mastermind and D-Day veteran Frank Davidson recalls an unrivalled 70 year career of engineering achievement with Misa Klimes IN THE postcard town of Concord, Massachusetts, Frank Davidson is reaching a personal milestone: his 90th birthday. And he is in great demand as dozens of friends and family have travelled across the globe to congratulate him. He is fit, optimistic and bristling with conversation.

From an early age Frank Davidson demonstrated outstanding promise.

He published two books while still an undergraduate at Harvard, fought on the beaches of Normandy with the Canadian Army. He was also one of the founders of the epic Channel Tunnel project and is regarded as the father of macro-engineering.

Even at 90 Frank still writes books and articles and recently co-authored an encyclopedia called ‘Building The World: An Encyclopedia of the Great Engineering Projects in History’ - believe it or not, a cracking read.

Frank commands an exceptionally fluid memory. It is populated with fascinating events and personalities.

Explains his family background and exercises his prodigious recollection, “I was born in a wooden house that still stands at 6th 52 East, 18th Street in Brooklyn, New York, the fifth of five brothers.” Frank’s father was a lawyer who was interested in the reform of city government and was instrumental in bringing the legendary New York mayor Fiorello H. La Guardia to power as a Republican independent. It is clear he influenced all his five sons. At university Frank was politically conscious and prominent in student circles. The first book he published as an undergraduate concerned the weighty topic of American foreign policy and the question of whether or not the United States should intervene in Europe.

Frank joined the Canadian Army six months before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour. He was one of many Americans who thought it necessary to fight the Nazis even though the United States had not yet entered the war. A coldness enters his voice when he discusses Nazism. He and his university friends all felt the challenge of Hitler very deeply. They disapproved of Neville Chamberlain’s appeasement policy, “I think all of us were disappointed by it. There was no division of opinion here. We were not very favourable towards Mr Chamberlain.”

Frank took over a troop of tanks during the vital Battle of Carpiquet near Caen. Carpiquet was an aerodrome which was heavily defended by SS forces. “They were good troops… almost as good as we were,” he judges, smiling. I ask if he regarded himself as a professional before going into the conflict, he replies humorously, “Oh you become professional rather quickly under automatic gunfire!”

Post-war he became a practicing lawyer working with the American Embassy in Paris. In that job he regularly went over to Dean Jay’s office.

Jay was a friend, colleague and head

of the Morgan Bank in Paris. He was well connected and was critical later on in introducing Frank to the organisation that would sponsor the Channel Tunnel enterprise.

Frank had begam to consider the possibility of building a tunnel from Britain to mainland Europe after a trip from Bologne to Folkstone through a

The tunnel opened in 1994. What was predicted to cost $100 million dollars had ended up costing $15 billion dollars terrible storm with his wife, Izaline.

In November 1956, back in New York, Frank had lunch with the arbitration director of the New York Stock Exchange, Cyril Means Junior. During their encounter, they stumbled over the idea of the Channel Tunnel.

Both remembered as children reading a magazine called Popular Mechanics, which reported an attempt in the nineteenth century to construct a railway from England to France. The sheer size of such an undertaking exhilarated them and they strove to explore the possibility.

Yet Means, Junior and Frank had commitments in their respective jobs and little time to research the idea. Fortunately, they found a girl, Joan Reiter, at a cocktail party, who was looking for research. She came

They were good troops...almost as good as we were you quickly become a professional under automatic gunfire back with material which they took to Dean Jay, who was now working on Wall Street. Jay was glad to see Frank but did not have time to read these documents and suggested that he could tell the idea very briefly to a gentleman named ‘Young Tom’, meaning Thomas S. Lamont, Vice Chairman of Morgan Guarantee Trust Company of New York.

Frank reminisces, “He and the other heads of the Morgan Bank were seated behind roll top desks on either side of the corridor facing the scowling portrait of J.P. Morgan with a roaring fire underneath.” Frank briefly told them a story about how the idea came about.

“YoungTom turned to a man across the aisle hidden behind a newspaper and said, ‘Henry, (who turned out to be Henry Alexander, president of the bank) this young man thinks that we ought to help build a railway tunnel between England and France, do you

think we should do it?’ Mr Alexander turned to Mr Lamont and asked, ‘So Tom, why not?’ So that was the decision of the Morgan Bank to fund the project.”

Lamont decided it would be beneficial to invest in the company. He took out his cheque book and made a donation of $25,000 - the equivalent of a quarter of a million dollars today. He then instructed Frank to, “Give a lunch next Thursday at the Harvard Club of New York. We’ll try to get some engineers onboard.”

Lamont contacted the three leading engineering companies in the United States. “I don’t know how he managed it but he had an address book of some sort. He managed to call the head of the Bechtel Corporation, Dillon Read, George Rufus Brown, one of the founders of Brown & Root in Houston, Texas and Jack Bonney, then head of Morrison Knudsen. These three men came to lunch the following Thursday.

“Lamont asked them to draw up a design and estimate the cost of the venture. They printed a little book, dated from 1959 with the plan for a Channel Tunnel. My company delivered that plan to the Channel Tunnel Study Group.”

Although there were swift movements initially, these did not surmount large political obstacles which stalled the project. Frank says, “In 1975, after the British government had signed a treaty with France to build the tunnel, there was an all night cabinet meeting.

Somebody at the back of the room said, ‘Well Prime Minister, tomorrow we are due to ratify the Channel Tunnel Treaty - there’s no political opposition to it.’ Reluctantly however they refused to ratify the treaty and put the project on the backburner. It came alive again when Thatcher became prime minister and had lunch in London with President Mitterrand of France.

Frank continues: “They revived the joint technical committee, and after reviewing all sorts of possibilities, they co-opted our old design. The Channel Tunnel opened for traffic to the public in 1994. What Bechtel, Brown & Root and Morrison Knudsen had predicted would cost $100 million dollars with a 10% contingency fund ended up costing $15 billion dollars when it was finally completed.”

When asked about his achievements, Frank is very humble and believes the Channel Tunnel as his most defining legacy, although there are other engineering projects and ideas which are worth mentioning. “I founded the Rails-to-Trails Conservancy to build bikeways on abandoned railway lines.” Frank is also especially eager for train and tunnel projects to be developed around the world, “I am frankly influenced by personal experience. If you go to Europe you notice that the trains are efficient, fast and reliable. They are not in our country.

Professor Ernest Frankel, one of the

TUNNEL VISION: Davidson masterminded the Channel Tunnel project world’s leading oceanic engineers, has drawn a complete plan for an offshore tube, no stops from Boston to New York, no new inventions at all using existing technology.”

I ask Frank if he has any further ambitions - his answer makes workaholics look moderate by comparison: “Well there probably will be. I’m now ninety years old. I’m retired although I’m interested in weather projects because they were invented by someone who still lives in Massachusetts.”

Frank highlights how co-operative engineering projects can build good relationships between the countries

involved, as well as improving the lives of millions of people: “There is an argument to be made for trains instead of airplanes and ships. The Channel Tunnel was the first demonstration of the potential of the thing.

The engineers have not yet taken the time to design a safe supersonic train.

I’d just say it’s perfectly possible if they could do it.”

When asked how he committed to such a massive project for so many years, he said: “If you have an idea that is worth pursuing and can improve the lives of so many - what is there to think twice about?”

Week 4 14.10.08

Student

Student

Letters 15

Your Letters The world

SCOTTISH STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR 2007

Elite Feet

Since 1887 - The UK’ s oldest student newspaper

A climate of concern Student has revealed this week that more students at the University of Edinburgh are reporting mental health problems than ever before.

The University’s Disability Office has documented an increase of 17 per cent in mental health cases since 2006. While this news seems worrying on the surface, the fact that students are turning to their university for help more than they have done before is surely a step forward if better mental health awareness and support is to be secured in Edinburgh.

It has never been a secret that many students do encounter stress and emotional difficulties during their higher education, and that such difficulties often lead to undue mental pressures. It is only now, when student identity is no longer wholly commensurate with ‘young

person’, when widening access is at the top of the government’s agenda, and when more international students walk through Edinburgh’s doors that the university, not surprisingly, finds itself responding to more and more cases of mental health problems. As the student community has become more heterogenous and fragmented, more students are seeking advice and help and the university has been caught somewhat off-guard.

The rapid increase has indeed ‘taken its toll on staff’, leaving the mental health services with a ‘general sense of burn-out’.

Worrying, maybe. Naïve, certainly.

Yet considering the concerns over bad resources and unsatisfactory contact time, the university will surely respond appropriately to the increasing figures.

In cases such as these, it is the unhappy student that must come forward and make his or her problems known. As it seems that more students are willing to do this - to bridge the gap between themselves and their institution and as they consider the University of Edinburgh as increasingly more inclusive and accessible, so the university must respond with equal consideration and generosity.

Mental health services might declare themselves to be ‘burntout’ but this attitude must change and cannot come across to those students that need their help. With increased dialogue around the subject, and with more students willing to trust their university’s services, mental health problems amongst students can be more thoroughly detected and dealt with.

Scar on our ethical conscience This time last year, with little publicity, the Royal Air Force’s first “hunterkiller” unmanned drone took flight in Afghanistan. Appropriately named ‘the Reaper’ the US-made drone was used last year to target a Pakistani village where it was thought Ayman al-Zawahiri, the deputy leader of alQaida, was in hiding. Instead, more than 20 villagers, including five women and five children, were killed. British military chiefs believe the drone will be at the front-line of new technology to fight terrorism. Indeed, a UK prototype calledTaranis is already welladvanced. The work, like a surprising number of military-related projects, is being done in UK universities.

It is unknown where the Taranis prototype is being developed. Yet, news this week that Edinburgh University attracts more than £2m of research funding from arms companies each year means that military projects, such as this are commonplace among our University. Indeed, because of the clout and money involved in

such dealings, the Campaign against the Arms Trade has warned that arms companies have ‘developed a disproportionately powerful say in Universities’ research agendas.” This is unacceptable and testament to the deplorable commercialisation of Higher Education. At our University academics are being forced to seek out military money because they’re under pressure to attract research funding to their department. To put it simply Edinburgh University has sold out; money has become more important than ethics.

To make matters worse – the ‘Study War No More’ report has revealed that Edinburgh University receives substantial research funding from BAE systems – a company accused of selling arms to Zimbabwe, Israel and Saudi Arabia. In 2005, due to BAE’s dubious trading ethics, students voted overwhelmingly to disinvest from the company at the Annual General Meeting. To find out three years later that academics have accepted

hundreds of thousands, if not, millions of pounds in research funding from the arms-giant is a kick in the teeth for student campaigning and a blow to Edinburgh’s ethical reputation.

It’s about time that our University started taking it’s ethical responsibility more seriously. What’s the point in having a socially responsible investment policy if it’s not adhered to - if departments are taking money backhandedly from companies such as BAE, which university officials have so-publically distanced themselves from? Edinburgh University presents itself as an open, accountable institution yet its arms links act as a scar on the conscience of an otherwise ethically-sound place of learning.

We need to start questioning the status quo, otherwise institutions such as our University - renowned for it’s commitment to internationalism and human progress will continue to support companies whose profits rest upon proliferating weapons and sustaining international tension.

‘The Voice’ is a new fortnightly supplement compiled by students, for students. It is designed to give coverage to events and societies, and to provide information about EUSA and the student unions.

We hope that ‘The Voice’ is useful to you. If you have any comments to make about the supplement, or if you wish to get involved with production, email us at editors@studentnewspaper.org

Student

Editors Jenny Baldwin/Liz Rawlings Comment Lee Bunce/Zeenath Ul Islam/Mairi Gordon Copy editors Neil Simpson/Lottie Fyfe/Kristin Baldwin Culture Hannah Ramsey/Rupert Faircliff/Emma Murray Design Jamie Manson Features Jonathan Holmes/Rosie Nolan/David Wagner Film Tom MacDonald/Sam Karasik Illustrations Jamie Manson/Zeeneth Ul Islam/

Harriet Brisley Interview Hannah Carr/Anna Dudina Lifestyle Kimberlee Mclaughlan/Maddie Walder Music Andrew Chadwick/Thomas Kerr News Editors Neil Pooran/Lyle Brennan - Senior News Writers James Ellingworth/Sarah Morrison/Patrick Andelic Photography Julia Sanches/Katy Kennedy/ Sophie Johnson President John Herrman Secretary Maddie Walder Sport Martin Domin

I am a big fan of the paper but have a few gripes with Alister Shands article ‘elite feet or drugs cheat’. To say that Bolt travelled from mediocrity to super stardom is very harsh on Bolt.

The readers of the paper should have been informed that Bolt actually won gold at the 2002 World Junior championships at the age of 15 against competitors up to 19 years old - something almost unheard of. Also Justin Gatlin did not win the sprint double at Athens. His American team mate Shaun Crawford won the 200m. I feel these omissions and incorrect facts helped portray Bolt as ‘too good to be true’ and a repeat of the Justin Gatlin story when the facts are actually slightly different.

Once again i’m a big fan, but I thought this article was a little slack.

-N.A Montgomery

Feeling the Force I disagree with the overarching premise of Craig Wilson’s ‘The Force Unleashed’ review in last week’s Student; namely that the game is so drastically limited, and limiting. Are there challenges to using the Force as you progress through the game?

Yes...isn’t that the point? Where there may be stormtroopers in later stages who have force-negating fields, they’re pretty susceptible to getting smashed by other movable pieces of the environment, or their fellow stormtroopers. Can you wander everywhere? No. Is this Grand Theft Auto with Jawas? No. Is it a fairly cool look into the time between Episodes 3 and 4 that is actually more movieworthy than Episodes 1 and 2? Now that’s a debate. I enjoyed the game, particularly the “non-canon” ending option.

- Darth Stewie This Comment first appeared on Student’s website: www. studentnewspaper.org

has become the XFactor Neil Simpson made some good observations in his article, published in last week’s edition of Student. He did well to highlight some rather unpleasant and disconcerting truths about modern-day politics, and considering the current political climate in America, timed the revelation of such truths very well.

It is indeed a sad fact that style matters now more than substance, there can be no other explanation for Sarah Palin’s rise to the forefront of American politics. She has the look, she has the image and, as a result, she is the person that everyone is talking about. It seems to me that Neil Simpson hits the nail on the head in his article ‘Style me famous’, when he asserts that ‘democracy is one big popularity contest’.

The world has become the XFactor.

As I turned my television set on this weekend ready for some hugely entertaining sing-offs and slag-offs, I realised that I am one of those people; one of those people that is sucked into the enormous popularity contest. Disgusted, I pulled myself away for five minutes to check Facebook only to experience the very same revelation a few minutes later.

We need to take more responsibility as voters, as people.

But in order to even get to this point, perhaps we need to swallow some pride and accept, as Neil Simpson argues, ‘the importance and relevance of politicians like Sarah Palin’. It seems that we are in a viscious circle, afterall, and we have to go around to come around.

As I turned off XFactor on Saturday night (I watched the whole thing) I realised that Neil Simpson’s final remark (‘British folks could learn a thing or two from American political populism’) is a sad one. Sad, but horrifyingly, excrutiatingly, true.

- Hannah Riley Third Year History student

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Published by and copyright © Student Newspaper Society,

16 Film

Student

Week 4 14.10.08

A compelling, brutal, brilliant work Shan Bertelli Gomorra directed by

Matteo Garrone

aaaaD IF YOU are expecting Armani suits, sleek cars and offers you can’t refuse from a Mafia movie, you will be very disappointed by Gomorra.

The majority of the gangsters in this film look like neds with guns, speaking in an Italian dialect so thick that even most native-Italian speakers need subtitles.

Mateo Garrone (also behind similarly disconcerting films First Love and The Embalmer) directs Gomorra, based on the true story told in Roberto Saviano’s novel of the same name. Journalist Saviano, himself raised in a society run by crime syndicate the Camorra, and who is now under 24-hour protection following repeated threats on his life has, together with Garrone, created a searing film that is simply incredible and will no doubt find itself showered with awards.

The film follows five separate stories that interweave occasionally but for the most part leave charac-

ters unaware of each other’s presence and actions, and manages to do so both effectively and comprehensibly.

There is Toto, a 13-year old desperate to join one of the syndicate’s clans and who is well on his way to selling his soul to them; Pasquale, a

gentle tailor persuaded to secretly work for Chinese gangsters; Roberto, a young graduate who starts working for Camorra don Franco but slowly realises the effects that their dealings in waste disposal are actually having. The unfortunate Don Circo is a pay-runner dutifully

distributing money to the families of mafia members and who ultimately finds himself caught up in a war between two groups.

Marco and Ciro, two young men who decide to go against convention and work for no-one other than themselves, run havoc, steal-

ing drugs, money and guns. Their story provides the film’s most iconic scene; the two running up and down an empty beach in their underwear holding a cachet of stolen arms and ironically pretending to be Tony Montana, gleefully cheering when blowing up a nearby boat.

The structure of the piece allows the organisation to be seen from many different perspectives. Garrone uses disjointed, shaky camera work to compound the feeling of being merely an observer: seeing the reality but not fully understanding it. Certain scenes don’t even reveal the participating characters.

The killings are quick and blunt and the reactions from the previously unknown actors are completely believable.

Although a compelling film worthy of a screening, you’d be forgiven for leaving the cinema feeling like there’s no hope for the world. The film takes a deliberately ambiguous stance on the morality of its characters, being simply an honest portrayal of what the Cammora really is: grimy, bloodied hands exchanging large wads of cash.

Shan Bertelli Two friends discover a loophole allowing the shooting of the Queen’s Swans when in a state of undress.

The House Bunny directed by

Fred Wolf

aaaDD IN THE age of Apatow, The House Bunny is a comedy without teeth, but its star, the lovely Anna Faris, is certainly not without chops.

Faris plays the pneumatic Shelley, a Playboy Bunny unceremoniously kicked out of The Mansion because, at 27, she is apparently over the hill.

Shelley sets off to start a new life away from Hugh Hefner, but, having been left with nothing, first needs to find herself a new job.When she stumbles across a row of university sorority houses, which she somewhat accurately compares to mini Playboy Mansions, she senses familiar territory.

As fate would have it, Zeta Alpha Zeta house, a bunch of nerdy misfits, is in need of a house mother. Shelley takes the job, but when the university threatens to shut them down, Shelley is inspired to save the sorority.

Faris’s performance carries this otherwise formulaic dumb-fun comedy.

Her masterful comedic timing make the most of the few good lines, and her physical slapstick is hilarious. In spite of the staple Hollywood values (e.g. ‘be yourself’, ‘girl power’) she is required to embody, Faris maintains sincerity throughout.

Compared to Faris, the supporting cast delivers a decidedly mediocre performance as the gaggle of preposterously geeky sorority sisters. The possible exception to this is the affable Colin Hanks, who plays Faris’s bemused love interest. Others produce completely forgettable performances, although the two-dimensional script

might be to blame.

The film’s true problem lies in a contradiction of tone. Bunny could have gone the satirical route à la Legally Blonde–and it has a few such moments–but ultimately the movie sticks to conventional territory and imposes a few stock values on viewers in order to end on a stale note, which I would sum up thus: in order to be happy, be yourself, only hotter.

Blair Hamren

Times and Winds directed by

Reha Erdem

aaAaD I couldn’t have had a more open mind when I walked into the cinema to watch Times and Winds, as I knew absolutely nothing about the film. I knew so little about it that I thought that I may have been in the wrong screen when the Turkish title Bes Vakit came up. However, I was soon reassured by the sound of the softly blowing wind, closely followed by the ticking of a clock; and so began the symbolic adventure.

In his beautiful portrayal of life in a small Turkish village, Reha Erdem concentrates on the lives of three young teenagers, Yakup, Omer and Yildiz as their childhood slowly slips away from them.

Yakup is hopelessly in love with his school teacher, Omer believes he wants to kill his father (also the local imam) whilst Yildiz struggles to keep up with the adult responsibilities that she is prematurely charged with. At the same time, all three of the children begin to better understand the lives of their parents as they see them having sex, being humiliated or expressing violence. But painful loss of innocence is only one of the themes covered in this vast study. Erdem also concentrates on relationships, life and death, religion, human emotion and man’s place in nature.

The film is structured around the phases of the moon and is split into five chapters based around the Muslim times of prayer. As we see time ticking by along with the birth and death of the inhabitants of the village, we are reminded of the speed of life which Erdem fur-

ther exaggerates with a motif, that runs throughout the film, involving children lying, death-like, in the earth.

Times and Winds is a stunningly beautiful film with some amazing scenery and a powerful and fitting soundtrack to top it off. Yet despite its beauty, it somehow didn’t give me that feeling of awe that poetic films such as these often do.

I would usually shed a tear at such a film, but only the music brought me even close. The ostentatious symbolism somehow took away from my enjoyment of the film, as there is rarely time to simply enjoy its splendor without being forced to marvel at all of the clever ideas that Erdem has packed in. I would definitely recommend seeing this poetry, but I think it’s almost better to try not to think too much about what it all means and just enjoy the beauty.

Katy Kennedy

Week 4 14.10.08

Film 17

Student

Mirrors

News You Can Use

Directed by Alexandre Aja

aaaad Imagine a world where the little girl in the Exorcist finds herself stuck behind the mirrors of a burned down department store, and has the power to terrorise a helpless ex-cop security guard, driving him to the brink of insanity. If you dare to imagine this, you may begin to fathom the sheer terror of Mirrors.

After being released from the NYPD for shooting a fellow officer, Ben Carson (Kiefer Sutherland) takes a security guard post in an attempt to get his life back on track, and win back his ex-wife Amy, played by the stunning up and coming actress Paula Patton.

Hollywood’s hardest working man, 24 hour-a-day Sutherland, takes a familiar role as a pensive, stone-faced grump, bringing to the screen a presence perfect for tension and thrills. And deliver these thrills Mirrors doesn’t half do bad.

Like many modern horrors, Mirrors is an adaptation of an Asian classic so terrifying that even the toughest men will cry out in surprise. The brilliant sound design by Richard Adrian adds atmosphere to a well-structured plot (even if it is marginally recycled) and creates a surprisingly entertaining picture that left a theatre full of couples squeezing together for safety in

with Spike Lee

Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Why hasn’t Spike Lee cast me in any of his films? nervous anxiety, braving a peek at the screen, wanting MORE! However, sticking to the thriller traditions of this decade, Mirrors tends to drag when it’s not scaring the proverbial crap out of people.

When Kiefer isn’t being assaulted by spooky ghouls from behind mirrors, or protecting his family from suffering a similar fate, the story unfortunately takes a turn for the dull.

Furthermore, the acting talents (or lack thereof) of his co-star (Patton) detract from the more effective elements of this thriller. Patton

is outshined by her 6-year-old onscreen son, whose chilling character brings real presence to the screen.

Despite a few slow and cheeseridden scenes, the final twenty minutes of film are more than enough to knock your socks off! You will be dying with anxiety to see the next of writer/director Alexandre Aja’s horrors. Aja’s biggest hit so far was The Hills Have Eyes, which freaked audiences sufficiently to allow the studio to entrust him with the creation of Mirrors. We will see his terrifying vision next in a remake of the des-

perately awful 70’s horror Piranha.

In the end, Mirrors brings to cinemas a novel look at a recycled idea, and does it fantastically. A smorgasbord of cheap thrills and terrifying chills will leave you giddy with excitement as you leave the cinema, appreciating the subtle brilliance of story, sound, and picture.

Seeing this film in glorious widescreen does add to the experience, but those who wait for the DVD release will not be disappointed.

Lance “Michael Jordan” Jordan

Dear Student Film... rate actor who can only play one type of character. Your section is puerile and offensive.

- Magnolia Fan

had written it. Find something else to do with your time. Like staying in and scratching your crotch.

-Film

Dear Magnolia Fan, The Stath is NOT a ‘second-rate’ actor. If anything, he’s third or fourth-rate. So there. You’re wrong.

-Film

Dear Student Film, That John C. Reilly is so hottt.

When can I next see his gorgeous body on screen?

- 18 and Legal Dear 18, Reilly next lends his sexy voice, sadly not his sexy body, to the animated film 9 with Jennifer Connelly and Elijah Wood, a postapocalyptic nightmare much like Finding Nemo. You’ll see those rock-hard abs next year in Cirque du Freak, in which he stars as a vampire who is part of a travelling circus.

- Film

Dear Student Film, Body of Lies is an upcoming thriller from Ridley Scott about the war in Iraq. Where can I get a good falafel around George Square?

- Hungry Dear Hungry, I prefer the generously-sized and

Dear Student Film, Why are you so obsessed with Jason Statham? He’s a second-

Send your questions to: film@studentnewspaper.org

Dear Student Film, My name is Spike Lee and I do NOT write your news section.

See my controversial WWII epic Miracle at St. Anna, in cinemas now. I wrote that.

-Spike generously-priced falafel at Mediterranean Gate on George IV Bridge. Blue Nile Cafe across from Appleton Tower also serves up a good falafel, though the portion is a bit smaller. On the upside, this eatery has ample seating compared to its competitor.

- Film

Dear Spike, Hated the film. There weren’t nearly enough white people in it. I’m off to watch Flags of Our Fathers.

- Film (with our good friend Clint Eastwood)

Dear Student Film, I thought this column was supposed to be about film. You just talked about falafel. Also, what can I do about my crotch rash?

-Chris Champion Dear Chris Champion, You can’t have possibly been aware that the previous letter concerned falafels unless you

Photos (from left): John C. Reilly in Walk Hard, Leonardo DiCaprio in Body of Lies, Jason Statham in Crank, and Clint Eastwood’s Flags of Our Fathers.

It appears the 80’s revival is underway…Here’s a look at what’s to come: Many of you esteemed Student film fans may have heard about the upcoming Terminator sequel.

Christian Bale will be playing humanity’s last hope John Connor, but there have been no suggestions that original killer robot Schwarzenegger might reprise his role in the project. However, photos taken during filming have shown Arnie visiting the set… perhaps a cameo is on its way?

Terminator: Salvation is due for release in 2009.

Speaking of the Governator, after a long hiatus, another Conan film is on its way. A script is in the works and will go into production “as soon as possible”.

Expect Conan to arrive sometime around 2010.

And so the non-stop excitement continues. A new Robocop is in the works and is currently in pre-production. Directed by Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler, The Fountain) expect Robocop to arrive at a screen near you in 2010.

Here’s hoping for more gruesome deaths and brutality all round.

And now for the news that all of you have been waiting for: Watchmen. The film adaptation of the revolutionary graphic novel produced by DC Comics in the mid-eighties is now nearing completion, and favourite characters Rorschach, Nite Owl, Ozymandius and Dr Manhattan will return in early 2009.

Rumour has it that original writer Alan Moore has personally approved the project, making this columnist all the more excited. If you haven’t read Watchmen already then do so immediately.

Last, but not least, plans have been announced for two further Rambo instalments (apparently Rambo kills 4000 men with a toothpick…) and a remake of the 1984 Patrick Swayze classic Red Dawn is also in the cards.

The eighties never died, they just went on holiday (and came back with tacky souvenirs).

Next Week...

Jason Statham returns in...

Death Boat

18 Music

Student

Week 4 14.09.08

ALBUMS RA RA RIOT THE RHUMB LINE BARSUK

AAAAD

IF YOU think Vampire Weekend are a bit of a damp squib, you shouldn’t read any further, because—in all likelihood—you’re not going to warm to Ra Ra Riot (the band name suggests angst-ridden Punk, but they couldn’t be further from that genre).

The Syracuse, New York-based band are indebted to all things preppy and literate (so read The Shins, Belle and Sebastian and Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin as influences).

The fact that they’ve released this album is an achievement in itself The Streets: that Dry your clothes,and mate considering drummer cofounder John Pike tragically died last summer, causing all sorts of pain

MILEY CYRUS BREAKOUT HOLLYWOOD

ADDDD I TRIED to give this album a chance, I really did. After all, I know all of the lyrics to that Spice Girls rap, so who am I to judge? (What?

Don’t pretend I’m alone in this). I tried. And yet I can’t help resenting the fact that listening to this album has stolen some precious time I could have spent sleeping.

Miley Cyrus is one of a new breed of young American stars, the living pieces of Disney merchandise who move from successful bubblegum TV to successful bubblegum tweenpop. Capitalising on her success as Hannah Montana, she’s followed in the footsteps of Vanessa Hudgens and all the rest of them- points for telling any of them apart- and embarked on a solo career.

and tumult within the band, which, naturally, would have signalled the end of lesser fledgling acts.

Unsurprisingly, death and loss are the prominent themes here; and although they dictate much of the mood, there is a strong sense of hope gained from Ra Ra Riot overcoming their troubles. Frontman Wesley Miles’s voice has always had a mournful quality to it, but here it’s inescapable and fitting. There is a defiance about it. On ‘Oh, La’ he sings “We’ve got a lot to learn from each other/ We have got to stick together”; and lines from opener ‘Ghost Under Rocks’ are even more affecting: ‘Here you are you are breathing life into/Ghosts under rocks like notes found/In pocket coats of your fathers/Lost and forgotten’.

Not that they’re taking advantage of a bad situation: Pike co-wrote many of the songs here, including ‘Ghost Under Rocks’, and ‘Dying Is Fine’, an ee cummings-indebted pop gem with lyrics taken from the poem of the

same name. It’s the contrast between carefree melodies and playful rhythms against sombre cellos and violins that makes this record so poignant and memorable when it could have been a train-wreck of self-pity. ‘Each Year’ sounds light and energetic thanks to Milo Bonacci’s breezy guitar work, ‘Can You Tell’ bubbles lively with a restless passion, and their Kate Bush cover ‘Suspended Gaffa’ cements the band’s Anglophilia without veering out of control into the realm of overblown dramatics.

Although a new name to many, Ra Ra Riot already have a considerable underground following. It’s been a record that many have waited to hear for quite some time, and with a wealth of highly-praised demos behind it, The Rhumb Line was expected to be great.

Ra Ra Riot have achieved that goal with ease, and have made a record that stands up against the many fine albums made this year.

Jonny Stockford

Now I don’t think that teenage pop stars are a Bad Thing. I could forgive her if she pumped out the Billie or Britney kind of pop that worms itself into your head whether you want it there or not. But Breakout is so very, very bland that I can barely summon up the energy to get offended at it.

What’s so deeply sad is that someone has convinced the poor child (because that’s what she is, ladies and gentlemen. A CHILD! Let us not forget this!) that she’s got a unique song-writing talent. Though, to be fair, she’s not doing so badly given that she’s grown up with Billy Ray “AchyBreaky Heart” Cyrus as her musical mentor.

‘Fly on the Wall’ has been commonly acclaimed as the best track on the album, which is telling. The rest of it is even more boringly overproduced.

She’s turned into a brand already, and you can hear it all over the generic lyrics and self-consciously “rock-chick” guitar sound. A debatable contestant for the song most likely to send you scrabbling wildly for the earplugs is her cover of Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Girls

Just Wanna Have Fun’. Oh, Miley.

No they don’t, not listening to your version. Her voice is good, though, and her singing style is reminiscent of Avril Lavigne’s; but without the depressive lyrics, all that comes across is her immaturity. You can’t help wondering how much influence she had over the finished album; listening to it you get a sense that she’s had any originality stamped out of her in the interests of maintaining the brand image.

Anyway, future bargain-bucket trawlers, I hope you all enjoy singing along with Miley to “And when you mean it, I’ll believe it/ if you text it, I’ll delete it.” And remember, in a couple of years time, when she goes the way of all child stars and is photographed falling out of a bin in Vegas with the paparazzi taking pictures up her skirt… the Disney Channel is the evil mastermind behind it all. No, really, ALL of it. In the world. Ever. Think about that.

Hannah Rastall

EUGENE MCGUINESS EUGENE MCGUINESS DOMINO

AAAAD

A FAVOURITE of tipster Steve Lamacq, McGuinness’ eponymous debut full-length record streamed in its entirety on that Murdoch-owned music site we all detest loving last week.

From the hard strums of opener ‘Rings Around Rosa’ to the soft Sondre Lerche-like ‘G-D In Space’, the palette of musical colour is as broad as the smile one receives listening to the record, and the quality never dips below intriguingly good. The vocal style lies halfway between Neil Young and Patrick Wolf, and he mostly sings through a delay to help echo the lyrics around one’s cerebellum. ‘Disneyfied’ is the closest the album gets to Brian Wilson’s harmony-laden symphonic pop, but in general the quirk-factor

A SILENT FILM

A CITY THAT SLEEPS XTRA MILE

AAAAD

THE RICH musical anthology of Oxford is continued with the release of A Silent Film’s eclectic debut album -The City that Sleeps.

Opening track ‘Sleeping Pills’ straight away introduces the brooding features of the band. Delicate, almost tickly keyboard and a touch of shimmery guitar by Lewis Jones provide the basis of each song. This is heartened by gentle sounds of cello or marimba and layered on top with Robert Stevenson’s tender vocals. He not only sings about the usual love and loss, but touches on unexpected themes of suffering in a war-torn

is kept down in favour of memorably poppy melodies and lyrics (“yes sir, three bags full” appears on ‘Fonz’) and styles which veer from alt-folk chamber-pop (‘Wendy Wonders’) to alt-pop chamber-folk (‘Those old Black and White Movies’). The difference, and it is subtle, is in the speeds, though some listeners may complain of trackto-track similarities.

McGuinness can do fine ballads and fine uptempo tunes: the ‘oo-ee’s on ‘Nightshift’ are better than anything the Klaxons mustered, as the tune barnstorms its way through ninetyeight seconds of your life before ‘Atlas’, with its invitation for air cowbell, is bouncy and jolly. The honkytonk of ‘Not So Academic’ seems to reference fellow Londoner Ray Davies in its phrasing as well as the country suitability of Hank Williams or Johnny Cash. A wide record collection must McGuinness possess.

Always full of remembrance of things past, whilst staying in the here and now, this is an album that deserves its residence in anyone’s collection.

Johnny Brick society.

Each song gives a window into a story, crafting a narrative-feel to the album. On songs like ‘Feather White’ and especially ‘Highest Regard’ the band reveal their mellow-poppy potential, complete with echoes of Coldplay and Keane (but don’t let that put you off ). The layers within, from the professional style of its production to the clear talent that provides substance all add depth to the overall sound.

There are subtleties that need a 2nd or 3rd listen to expose - such as the swooping literary lyrics occasionally muffled by percussion, and in some tracks there are underlying decent tunes overpowered by superatmospheric piano. The closing ‘Aurora’ is near enough beautiful, even if it does drag a bit.

Whilst treading mildly on Radio 2 territory, this LP is impressively understated.

Juliet Evans

Week 4 14.10.08

Student

MusicReview 19

Someone still loves you boris johnson JOHNNY FOREIGNER/ DANANANANYKROYD CABARET VOLTAIRE SATURDAY 4 OCTOBER

AAAAA IT’S EASY. Make pop music, massive pop music. Then make it loud.

Very loud, and very fast, and scream occasionally. There you have the formula for arguably the most exciting, exhilarating music anybody is making in the world today. This should be the motto of every new band just starting to find their sound, and their shining examples would have to be Dananananaykroyd and Johnny Foreigner, who joined forces for this tour, a showcase of the new pop-punk, a genre which used to be a dirty word when this reviewer was sixteen and bands such as New Found Glory, Blink 182 and Sum 41 dominated the tastes of most in their early-to-mid-teens, but has now gained a new meaning with these two British bands.

Glasgow’s Dananananaykroyd have already been adorned with the accolade of ‘best live band in the UK’ by a certain widely-read indie website, and for anyone who has witnessed their show, this is by no means an exaggerated claim. But the litmus test comes when they’re placed on a stage in Edinburgh, notorious home of the most boring, reserved, chin-scratching gig crowds anywhere. For a band whose show is so heavily-reliant on crowd participation this could prove to be a genuine buzz-killer, so as Dananan open with new single ‘Pink Sabbath’, it’s hard to know whether, despite their hardest efforts, this might not be the joyous riot they’re used to. Doubts are soon quelled as singers Callum and John split the crowd to take

the concept of the traditional hardcore ‘wall of death’ and magically transform it into a ‘wall of cuddles’ whereby a given signal triggers a barrage of hugs involving virtually everyone present. It’s a sight to behold, and a considerable feat to get the usually inanimate gig-goers of Edinburgh to lift as much as a finger in acknowledgement that a band are giving their all on stage. A quick glance around the venue reveals a bout of gormless, stupid grinning has set in all-round, whilst Callum jumps up and down amongst the crowd watching his own band finish their set. Four words could sum it up: heavy, happy, hardcore pop. The widely-read indie website could not have been more right.

To wish following Dananananaykroyd upon any band would be just plain cruel, and to even try to compare the two would be even more so. Brummies Johnny Foreigner are ace in their own right, their debut LP being one of the year’s highlights, and if they don’t quite have the theatrics and frenetic energy of the support, they have the fine pop songs and play them with an enthusiasm and gusto that’s refreshing to watch. Often squeezing about three brilliant tunes into one song, Johnny Foreigner could write infectious hooks in their sleep (which would be a very interesting idea for a concept album) and more than hold the attention of a crowd who, in the hands of any other band, would be lost in a daydream involving a never-ending Dananananaykroyd show in the sky.

A Dananan stage-invasion finishes the night, and a pop-punk love-in ensues while punters leave in a daze of contentment after what must be the best show Edinburgh has seen all year.

Andrew Chadwick

is this news?

To be honest, the Is This News? team don’t really get down the theatre very often. Christ, we try though. We’re always loitering outside the King’s, hopefully wearing those trilbys with bits of cardboard reading ‘PRESS’ in the ribbon and desperately waving our unlaminated knock-off National Union of Journalists membership cards, demanding free tickets or at least a bloody programme. But I digress, because the fact is we don’t see much theatre. Last week, however, we sensed our opportunity.

Rumours reached us from a drunk lad in Basingstoke that Oasis were planning to follow in the footsteps of Abba, Queen and the Who and - no, not fuck off at long last - but bring out a musical based on their songs and career, provisionally entitled ‘Live Forever’.Alas, the rumours proved unfounded, Noel Gallagher himself laughing off the rumours in an interview last week. “Live Forever aka Mad for It The Musical,” Noel guffawed, “the rags to riches story of four lads from Burnage who shook the end of the street.” Sounds quality, no?

Johnny Foreigner: Stealing our jobs, no doubt

LYKKE LI

CABARET VOLTAIRE THURSDAY 9 OCTOBER

AAAAD LYKKE LI says that she makes music to be performed, which explains why her live show is so much more vibrant than listening to her album on CD. Not to say that Youth Novels isn’t well worth a listen, but if you fail to witness the live show then you’re missing a whole dimension of the music.

Right from the very start, Li’s set was a true performance; her backing band fed the crowd’s anticipation with the opening of ‘Dance Dance Dance’ drifting into the audience from a darkened stage until Li herself appeared to add her husky and haunting vocals which truly began the show. From her slightly eccentric on stage dancing (also present in her video for the addictive ‘Little Bit’) it’s hard to believe that Li was once a backing dancer for a Swedish television channel, but its quirkiness only added to her mesmerising stage presence.

Brought up by hippy parents who swapped the Swedish punk scene for a more hippy way of life after hav-

ing children, moving their family from country to country (including a spell living in a Moroccan brothel), Li could hardly be expected to be dull. A childhood obsession with Madonna opened her eyes to the wonders of being a pop star, yet originally she moved to New York to be a hip-hop sensation. Luckily for the indie music scene, she decided that Kate Bush was a better musical role model than Tupac.

Li’s vocals have a unique ethereal quality to them, which elevates her above the competition in a music scene which is already saturated with female solo artists. Plus, she incorporated a dash of Vampire Weekend and a very nifty version of A Tribe Called Quest’s ‘Can I Kick It?’ into her set which proves beyond any doubt that she is far cooler than Duffy or Adele could ever be.

If there’s any justice in the music industry (which, since Keane have recently been allowed a return to our radios, there probably isn’t) then Lykke Li should soon be matching the chart success of fellow Scandinavians Alphabeat and Robyn. Music that is made to be performed deserves a massive audience.

Ciara Mullally

Now, you might have thought savvy types like us would have avoided the worst of the global financial meltdown, and you’d be right because we’ve no cash to lose. But if we had money we would definitely have invested in Iceland. What’s not to like? They boast a fine music scene for a country the size of Aberdeen, a fucking huge fishing fleet and loads of geysers, all over the bloody shop.

Brilliant, huh? So we thought. “Iceland’s bankrupt”, we read this week, reacting with shock and pity for our pal Stevie who works in the ‘fruit & veg’ section. It transpired his job was safe, thank God (his overdraft is half the size of the Nicaraguan GDP), but that windy little speck of investment gold up north is apparently fucked; a sacrificial lamb to the vengeful financial gods. Thankfully for anyone planning to attend the Iceland Airwaves festival later this week featuring the likes of CSS, Final Fantasy and Vampire Weekend - the festival organisers have reassured music fans that the event will go ahead as planned, despite the 8,900 Icelandic krona tickets now being worth less than a second-hand copy of Charlotte Church’s autobiography, Keep Smiling. Which, right enough, might be the best advice available for the improverished vikings sitting in a field later this week.

News reaches us this week that Guns ‘n’ Roses are to finally release Chinese Democracy some 18 years after work on the LP commenced, with the American release date for the album provisionally set at November 23. Our Axl Rose correspondant Ciant Gunt claims that the antiquidated rockers spent some $30 million on the record. Which might seem expensive, but when you think about it, it works out at a very reasonable $32,000 a week to keep Axl Rose off the streets. Bargain.

Thomas Kerr

20 Culture

Week 4 14.10.08

Student

CAROUSEL FESTIVAL THEATRE 6 - 11 OCTOBER

AAAAD

Judging the judges Jen Bowden assesses the merits of book awards A LOT of us like a good read now and then, romance, drama, a good old action adventure, but how can you distinguish between the good, the bad and just plain boring? The answer appears to lie in the literary awards that are branded upon big round circles on the front of many a best selling novel. The thing is there are so many; how do you know which to appreciate and which to throw in the fire?

The answer lies here, in a short guide to some of the main prizes you might find paraded on the front of that book you were wondering about. One of the most prestigious awards around is the Man Booker Prize. With an International prize launched in 2005 their aim is to reward the best book of the year and promote the ‘finest fiction’. The actual Man Booker Prize is open to citizens of the Commonwealth and the Republic of Ireland, and earns the author of the winning book a staggering £50,000. It’s judged by a panel of literary figures, maybe not the best thing to look for in a book if you want something more publicly appealing. Although it catapults authors to fame with a rise in sales and increase in world

tours it doesn’t really give you much of an idea as to whether the book is a good read. However, it will most likely be considered a literary masterpiece.

Another along the same lines is the Guardian First Book Award; whilst it can make you rich with a £10,000 prize it still judges by a panel and doesn’t give much of a public opinion.

The Costa Book Awards (previously the Whitbread Book Awards) is again made up of a panel of actresses, poets, journalists and broadcasters. Again it is open to writers based in the UK and Ireland. Although winners have been, deservedly, some of the biggest names in literature: Pullman, Heaney, Hughes, the judging suggests it has very little to do with what the public actually want from a book.

Worming its way into a more everyday sphere the British Book Awards are dubbed ‘the Oscars of the book trade’. They are endorsed and supported by the lovely Channel 4 chat duo, Richard and Judy in their influential book club implies a little more public involvement. Having begun in 1990, the shortlist is judged each

year by a panel of specialists, again the literary having the final say. However, even though the public may be involved in the ‘Richard and Judy Book Club’ it poses questions as to whether anyone would want to read a book chosen by a TV chat show couple.

The Orange Prize for Fiction stands out among the above judge-saturated awards. Established in 1992 by publishers, journalists and other literati, it uses a less traditional readerbased approach. Their concern that other awards overlook female writers has led to more focus on women authors. The main prize is voted for by the public, translating as a prize for a good solid read that everyday people might enjoy. Of course the award for the tongue twisting ‘Reading Group Book of the Year’ only enhances the public based appeal of these awards.

In conclusion the Orange Book Awards takes the public vote on the people’s choice of fiction, but if it’s literary genius you want, the Man Booker Prize is a force not to be reckoned with.

THE FIRST Edinburgh audience of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Carousel was treated to a lively performance making it almost impossible to watch without experiencing the urge to skip around every lamppost and burst into song on the way home. However, it is doubtful as to whether you would be able to match the precision with which the performers sang their way through the story of a young couple who realise that marriage is not the idyll they expected.

It seems for a time that their disappointing marriage can be reconciled by the birth of their first child until Billy, played by Jeremiah James, is drawn into a murder plot. It does not succeed and Billy is caught by the police at which point he kills himself to avoid a jail sentence. His distraught wife is consoled by Nettie Fowler, played

by Lesley Garrett, who is certainly the over arching mother of the production. This leads to the surreal second half in which Billy is sent to heaven’s backdoor and told he can return to earth for a day to see his daughter.

The surreal turn of events is surprising for those who do not know the story, as there is not much to suggest anything fantastical will happen. But luckily for the audience it does; while looking down on his daughter - played by Lindsey Wise - from heaven, Billy sees her dancing. Wise deserves a lot of credit for her abilities which had the audience awe-struck with a presence that would inspire anyone to take up dance.

Much praise is also owed to the choreographer, Adam Cooper, who ensured that attention to the dance sequences would not wane even for

a moment by including impressive twirls and skips that were enhanced by the costumes and jubilant enthusiasm of the cast. The male section of ‘June Is Bustin’ Out All Over’, is a particular highlight not just because there were a few highly palatable torsos visible through open waistcoats, but also because of the impressively timed acrobatic back flips off tables and cart wheels across the stage.

As would also be expected, the singing was excellent with strong voices coming from Garrett, James and Alexander Sibler, who plays Julie Jordan. The generally anticipated moment in Carousel when ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ is sung by Garrett really hits the mark making it one of the highlights of the show.

Although, the reprise of this song at the close of the production doesn’t quite achieve the usual emotional response, perhaps due to the slightly cheesy section in which Billy goes to heaven which really relies on the audience being very involved in the performance. It manages to take some of the force away from the sadness of the story.

Despite the slight disappointment at the close of Carousel it is a show to remember and not least of all because of the cinematography used to depict the carousel and Billy’s ascent to heaven. Using images projected onto sheet of hanging gauze created the suspense and belief that the characters were moving from A to B without just seeing them simply walk off stage.

This changes renders redundant the usual men in black, who rearrange the set before the actors return in an apparently new location.

Due to the mobility of the production it was captivating to watch and nobody could fail to be impressed by the actors’ performances which showed the audience love, sadness and passion through dialogue, song and dance. London is in for a treat as Carousel moves down south to continue its success.

Alanna Petrie

Catherine Ashmore

Student

Week 4 14.10.08

Culture 21

A lesson from Supernanny Hannah Ramsey pops into the Playhouse and leaves high as a kite MARY POPPINS THE PLAYHOUSE UNTIL 6 DECEMBER

AAAAA THE EDINBURGH Playhouse has already been treating its theatregoers to a whole fortnight of tasty slice of musical action, courtesy of the Mary Poppins cast who flew in on the 2nd October. Direct from London’s West End, the production will continue to captivate Edinburgh audiences until the wind changes on the 6th December when the company embarks for Manchester.

D e c l a ring herself as “ p ra c t i c a l ly perfect in every way” Caroline Sheen’s Mary Poppins sums her performance up in one,

PETER PRETSELL: A LIFE IN PRINT EDINBURGH PRINTMAKERS

THE BEAUTIFUL, THE ABSURD, THE OUTLANDISH, THE CONTRADICTORY EDINBURGH COLLEGE OF ART

BOTH UNTIL 25 OCTOBER

as she channels the nation’s favourite nanny right from the tip of her parrot-headed umbrella to the toes of her lace-up boots. Her attention to detail is exquisite and her voice delightful; this truly is a magical evening and one not to be missed.

Adapted from P.L. Travers’ story and the classic Disney film, producers Cameron Mackintosh and Thomas Schumacher ensure that all of the iconic songs from the latter are not forgotten.

‘Chim Chim Cher-ee’ has the chimney sweeps – literally – dancing on the ceiling, and the cast’s rendition of ‘Jolly Holiday’ invites the audience to fall with t h e m i n t o the colourful world of Bert’s p a i n t ing. Daniel

Crossley’s Bert is a faultless, cheeky antidote to Mary’s precise ways and the pair’s attraction is a charming undercurrent throughout.

The musical is built upon the foundations of a troubled father, Mr Banks, who is struggling to juggle his home life with a career at a London bank. Answering the advertisement penned by his two boisterous children who were looking for a nanny with “rosy cheeks, no warts, plays games, all sorts”, Mary Poppins arrives just in time to keep Jane and Michael in line and to readjust the Banks’ flagging family relationships.

Without a naughty step in sight, Mary teaches the pair both good manners and the value of money, making Supernanny look incredibly amateur in the process. A rendition of ‘A Spoonful of Sugar’ and ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ performed by excellent leads and a professional ensemble completes the job and successfully reunites the family.

Bob Crowley’s set design is equally as breathtaking as the noteperfect cast. The family home at 17 Cherry Tree Lane opens up like a doll’s house to reveal the antics unfolding within. Mrs Corry’s con-

Pretsell was famous for his sense of humour which is superbly translated into the prints on display at EP through bright colours and playful compositions. There are obvious influences of the 1950’s Pop Art movement particularly in Over the Moon where dots are used in a similar style to Roy Lichtenstein’s.

However, it is clear from his loose figurative style and witty titles that he was never trying to follow the mainstream Scottish Art of his time and consequently his images were entirely his own. All prints in this

collection are figurative and mostly extracted from magazine cut-outs and photographs. There is in fact little evidence at all that Pretsell used life drawing as the foundation of any of these prints and as a result his recurrent acrobatic subjects are presented as wonderfully dynamic and abstract figures.

Pretsell’s preliminary pieces exhibited at ECA show that his unique sense of dynamism was a result of his own energetic nature as an artist: obsessively redrawing a moving hand or foot and always in quick line

versation shop is also an explosion of colour and laughter. If the name Mrs Corry seems unfamiliar even to the most hardcore Mary Poppins fans, fear not, for she is one of the reasons why the musical adaptation is so brilliant; it samples the best loved original aspects of the Disney film, and then mixes them up with new characters and toe-tapping songs to keep even the most obsessive fans entertained.

Lashings of quirky Victorian detailing and a tapestry bag – with astonishing proportions – are thrown in for good measure as the costumes and props also fail to disappoint, while Matthew Bourne’s award winning choreography com-

pletes this wonderful show - seeing a theme yet?

Trips to the park and bank punctuate the proceedings while delighting the audience who will leave the theatre high as a kite and humming the songs all the way home.

With the promise of another six weeks of Mary magic on offer, coupled with the attraction of student friendly prices, this show –which is just short of three hours – is definitely excellent value for money.

Describing his co-star, Caroline Sheen, young Michael Banks declared, “she may be tricky, but she’s bloody good”, and he is more than just a little bit right.

AAADD ‘A LIFE in Print’- Quite a title for Peter Pretsell’s major two-part retrospective to live up to. But unfortunately, no thanks to its curators at Edinburgh Printmakers (EP) and Edinburgh College of Art (ECA), it does not.

The display at EP consists of a room of screen prints, etchings, collages and paintings produced over a 20 year period from 1970 until 1990.

Pretsell was no stranger to the Edinburgh art scene; he was a graduate of the ECA in drawing and painting, a former Chair of the Board of EP as well as holding his post as the Head of Print at the ECA until his untimely death in 2004. Yet surely with such involvement he deserves more than just a small room at EP to exhibit his dedication to the art of printing?

‘The beautiful, the absurd, the outlandish, the contradictory’ on display at ECA is the second instalment of Prestell’s two-part retrospective. It is a collection of drawings and paintings constituting Pretsell’s less highly-finished works, namely his preparatory studies and sketchbooks.

Peter Pretsell: Two Witty Wooers

Peter Pretsell: Over the Moon

drawings with a black fine-liner. Even when developing the human in its entirety it is clear that Pretsell’s priorities lied in creating a sense of movement and spontaneity rather than of realism.

This diverse collection is not only a pleasure to view because of its light-heartedness, but also, like all retrospectives, because of its sense of evolution. And in this particular case the evolution appears as a completed cycle. That is to say that Pretsell’s later works from 2000 onwards returned to the use of collage, which was prominent in his career during the early eighties.

The only downfall of these exhibitions is in fact not down to the art itself but the exhibition space. The

Sculpture Court Balcony at ECA is noisy, and, like at EP, Pretsell’s prints have been mixed in with the work of other, completely unrelated artists. Particularly at ECA, the display appears to be something you would stumble across while taking a stroll through the College rather than the object of an arranged visit to an exhibition.

Sadly, I can not help but feel that Pretsell’s prominent role within these two well-established institutions should have been worthy of a far more exclusive space to display such a special exhibition. Still, his creative legacy deserves a visit as a way to acknowledge his dedication to art and frankly, the sheer talent he had.

Jessica Dunleavy

22 Lifestyle

Student

Week 4 14.10.08

LIFESTYLE: GETTING ABOUT

On Yer Bike Mate

Maddie Walder straps on her helmet

I LOVE to ride my bicycle….I love to ride my bike…Fat bottomed girls...

Daisy Daisy...

And so it goes on; the list of music dedicated to the joys of sailing free across the streets of Britain, flying past the out of the loop losers walking, or, worse, bussing it. Yes, I come to tell you of the joys, benefits and, crucially, the unwritten codes of cycling in Edinburgh.

So what are the perks? Blindingly obvious in today’s climate, the bike is as healthy as cabbage and, more importantly, green as freshly cut grass on a sunny day. Bye bye belching carbon cars, sweaty buses, gas guzzling taxis. Hello toned legs, hello stamina, hello incredibly fit student who can make it to the top

of DHT 12th floor without fear of a heart attack.

There’s more: if, like me, you struggle with punctuality, a bike could be the answer to all your woes. Forget pocket watches and Blackwell pagea-day diaries; your pedal machine is the new personal organiser; as good a chauffeur but without the need for a tip. Your bike will get you places on time. Suavely glide up to your lecture with attractively rumpled hair and five minutes to spare, as your study buddies are left far behind, still waiting for the red man, envious tears filling their green, green eyes.

Thirdly: Style. Bike equals cool.

Note: a basket is obligatory. None of this rucksack malarkey. Tollcross cycle store do a smashing metal

Troublesome Trams ‘‘

TRAM TRAM trams…we’re sick to the back teeth of those god damned trams. And they’re not even here yet. Instead, Edinburgh closely resembles a giant pot hole, punctuated with the odour of open sewers, incessant banging and drilling and the many confusing ‘alternative routes’ plaguing those of us unfortunate enough to visit Leith. In a bid to curtail my unsurprising tram phobia, I’ve set out to form an intelligent opinion based on the facts.

Why?

The city of Edinburgh is thriving, with the population growing at a rapid pace. Public transport needs to expand to meet this demand, and assist developing areas of the city. Furthermore, trams run off electricity, which will contribute to a higher quality of air and a smaller carbon foot print.

Where?

At present, the trams will run from Edinburgh airport to Ocean Terminal, connecting Princes Street, Haymarket and Leith walk.

However, plans are already in the

making for extending the lines.

When and how?

2011 is when the first trams will run. At the moment, potentially dangerous and outdated lead piping is being removed and replaced so that the city will not have to undergo extensive road works for many years, resulting in an uninterrupted tram service.

Buses will be the same price as trams.

For routes not quite covered by trams, it will become common place to be dropped off by a bus at allocated interchanges, but passengers will still only pay the one fare.

number for a bargainous £15.99, including fitting. The best things in life are free. But when it’s a top notch bike accessory, screw it, I’ll pay. Naming, too, is a crucial part of your bikes identity. Some come with a title ready painted, e.g ‘Hercules’, the stolid little beast belonging to my flatmate.

But I recommend riding your new best friend to get a real feel of their character before the christening.

Admittedly, you may come across a few bumps and tumbles. Nicholson Street is a treacherous place for the agile yet vulnerable biker; so treacherous in fact, that I advise the following precautions: 1) Whenever you hear indignant beeping, just ignore. Always believe you have the right of way. If you look confident whilst free wheeling backward across four lanes, no one will object.

2) Never stop for pedestrians, the lesser species, especially painfully slow OAPs, as unexpected braking could cause a pile up to rival the chaos of rugby club initiations.

3) Always try to squeeze through unfathomably small spaces between double-decker buses. There is nothing quite as exhilarating as nipping through a moving tunnel approximately two inches wider than your vehicle’s frame.

4) Don’t pay attention to red lights.

Students are exempt, especially those riding retro models with the utterly gorgeous curved handlebars. Mmmm.

You can generally always make it if you peddle fast enough and shut your eyes. Especially if you’re giving someone a backie and talking on the phone, simultaneously.

Now for my final, and perhaps more sober point. Bike security.

It’s a dog eat dog world out there in the transport industry and I’m afraid to say, if someone fancies a bit of your cake, they bloody well take it - I speak from experience.

One fateful night, I left Edwina, my past beau, locked up outside the Tron. Returning the next day, I found Edwina had been mutilated by the mindless scoundrels of Edinburgh.

Slit tyres, snipped brakes, trashed gears, no basket in sight, and, worst of all, an empty space where my beloved bike horn once sat, honking joyfully at all and sundry. My sorrow when wheeling the poor corpse of my precious girl home was on a par to the emotional trauma that ensued in my flat following the tragic end of BBCs ‘Tess of the D’Urbervilles’. And we all shed a tear at that.

But don’t allow my misfortune to dissuade you. With second hand stores aplenty, you can pick up your purchase of the year for around fifty bucks, so - jump up, start peddling and don’t stop till the lactic acid makes you cry in agony. If Freddie Mercury says it, it must be true: Get on your bike and ride.

NB: Student in no way endorses irresponsible cycling. In fact, the writer has simply used the above article as a way of living her wildest cycling desires, but in reality is often spotted sporting a personalised helmet, ankle straps and flashing stickers. And gets off the bike to push it across traffic light zones, due to an illogical fear of the colour amber. So please, take no heed of anything she advises. Thank you.

Kimberlee McLaughlan hops on, hops off, and tackles tram phobia

So what’s likely to happen?

Case studies of areas which have recently had trams installed, such as Dublin, indicate a massive increase in the city’s prosperity.

Dublin saw a 30 percent increase of commuters to the city centre, with some shop owners reporting a 25 percent increase in trade.

The reliability of trams is likely to attract motorists too, with research stating that half of peak time tram users would previously have travelled by car.

That’s much less cars and buses jamming the roads of Edinburgh.

Areas fitted with tram lines will see rises in property prices, typically 15 percent. This will be a bonus for those who’ve had to tolerate four years of building work on their doorsteps.

The trams will undoubtedly have a positive effect on Edinburgh in the long run.

However, it’s hard to reconcile oneself with the mayhem that the road works have caused so far. Building work on the Mound last weekend added an hour to a typical twenty minute journey, and the city centre is becoming a no go area for motorists.

Smaller businesses - in particular those on Leith Walk - are crumbling under the combined pressure of the credit crunch and disruptive road works. Fed up traders recently hosted a ‘happy birthday hole’ street party for an unfilled pot hole on the busy street, which ended in tears when the council came out to pop the balloons and end the festivities.

2011 seems like a long time away too, and £500million is a lot of money to spend on bugging the hell out of innocent civilians.

Getting to know you...

A weekly grilling of your societies to find out who’s well ‘ard, and who is just hard work.

Student: Who are you?

CC: Edinburgh University Canoe Club Student: What’s your problem?

CC: Erm; where to start Student: Sell your society in 10 words....

CC: Wet, wild and naked (for the 5 or so minutes while we change).

Student: What’s the craziest thing your society has ever done?

CC: Did you ever hear of the time...

Student: Who is your favourite member right now?

CC: Megan Fox (ok she’s not a member, but we still really like her :-) Student: As a society, how fit are you from 1-10?

CC: We feel its demeaning to judge people purely on their aesthetic value...we still won’t accept mingers in our club though.

Student: What’s your society?s dream event?

CC: Imagine the lovechild of kayaking and a strawberry truffle... mmm mouthwatering excitement.

Student: Could you take down a a tiger?

CC: Hell yeah, We kicked the face off one just last week.

Student: Could you beat student in a fight?

CC: Were you not listening? We kicked the face off a tiger!

Student: Give us some canoe... talk...

CC: Kayaking is alot like losing your virginity; incredibly exciting, but over far too quickly.

Student: Pick a song for your Soc...

CC: ‘Bombtrack’ by rage against the machine.

Student: Anything else to add?

CC: No animals were harmed in the writing of this interview (except the tiger, but he deserved it)

Student

Week 4 14.10.08

Open Sourced

Tech 23

OpenOffice: http://www.openoffice.org Ubuntu Linux: http://www.ubuntu.com The GIMP: http://www.gimp.org Audacity: http://audacity.sourceforge.net Sourceforge: http://sourceforge.net

Alisdair Rankine and Alan Williamson want to free your mind and your wallet

CHANCES ARE that if you’re cool enough to read Tech on a weekly basis, you’re cool enough to have used the Mozilla Firefox web browser.

It’s free, it doesn’t let viruses in faster than a gaping wound (I’m looking at you, Internet Explorer), and it’s got a magic bar that automatically searches your favourites and history as you type.

What you might not be aware of is that Firefox is part of a multi-pronged attack on the big businesses of Silicon Valley under the banner of free and open-source software. Open-source software is used to run half of all websites (including content management for the new Student website) and you can even buy a laptop from Dell with the free Linux operating system installed instead of Windows. So what’s it all about?

Open source means freedom: freedom from having to pay for annual, unnecessary updates to your programs, freedom to run your computer without restrictions put in place by the powers that be, freedom to rewrite software the way you want it…if you take the time to learn how, that is.

Richard Stallman, a computer programmer at MIT who became disillusioned with how programming culture had changed during the late 1970s, started the open-source movement. At first programmers had openly shared the source code of the programs they developed, but this gradually gave way to commercialisation and ‘closedsource’ software. Stallman decided he would make a new, completely free

ARMY OF TWO EA

X360, PS3 £24.99

operating system based on the successful UNIX. He named this project GNU, standing for ‘GNU’s Not Unix.’

Unfortunately the animal puns didn’t end there, as Stallman called the core of this system ‘GNU Hurd’.

Without getting into too much unnecessary and boring technical talk, this laid the foundation for the Linux operating system which millions of computer nerds use and love every day. As open-source software can be modified by anyone with the knowhow, there are literally hundreds of variants of Linux available (although not all of them are free) suitable for everyone from your granny to the most hardened of computer veterans.

It’s not just free operating systems that are available: there are now countless juicy open-source programs ripe for the picking, from basic tools to fully-fledged games. Instead of paying an obscene amount of money for Microsoft’s Office Suite, including that rubbish database thing no one ever uses, consider replacing it with OpenOffice or its Mac equivalent, NeoOffice. Likewise, why pay £400 for Adobe Photoshop when the brilliantly named GIMP image editor can do a similar job for free? Another great free program is Audacity (or as it’s also known, Awesome Ringtone Creator), a surprisingly powerful music-editing tool. The website Sourceforge provides a repository for open-source software including those mentioned above; links with more information are available above.

If your computer is filled with rub-

FOR A game that features two psychopathic mercenaries head butting Iraqi insurgents to death, EA’s co-op killathon Army of Two did a pretty good job of sneaking in under the Student radar. Despite the game being released way back in March, only now have we mustered the sheer level of suppressed rage needed to fully appreciate something as brutal, hectic and fucking loud as this.

(Editor’s Note: The authors of this article nicked Tech’s copy of Army of Two and are being made to review it as punishment).

Right from the word “Hooah” the player is dumped into a frenzied Battle of Mogadishu seen through the eyes of Elliot Salem and Tyson Rios, two oversized frat boys who would no doubt brand John McCain a pussy for not dropkicking his way out of the Hanoi Hilton back in ‘Nam. From there on in, it’s business as usual with the duo slugging their way through the Middle East, China and even Miami, tackling a relentless barrage of heavily armed, largely beige Enemies of Freedom TM. Take a suspiciously familiar Gears of War third-person co-op format, slather on the gimmicks and you’ve got Army of Two in a nutshell. Anyone who’s played the game will know that an incredibly short campaign is thankfully padded out with weapons

bish and you can’t find those handy recovery discs that wipe the whole thing, you can install Linux as a replacement or in tandem with Windows. Many Linux versions come in the form of a ‘Live CD’ meaning you can try them out before you permanently change anything. Ubuntu is a particularly good choice for those comfortable with Windows with its familiar interface and easy to understand options.

This all sounds well and good, but there are a few provisos. Programmers are not artists or design gurus and as a result some free programs can look ugly as sin compared to their expensive rivals. Unlike commercial software, open-source programs are not always finished when they are released to the public; rather they evolve as people contribute to the project, adding new features and improving stability. If you opt for a Linux operating system it can’t run programs designed for Windows: you can cheat and run some of them using a tool called Wine, but don’t expect to play Crysis on your Linux PC any time soon.

Open-source software has gone from being the mainstay of hobbyists living in their parents’ basement to a viable alternative to commercial offerings. Given the current financial crisis and ubiquitous use of the words ‘credit crunch’ on a daily basis, we hard-up students can save a few quid here and there by making the switch to opensource. Now, has anyone ever heard of open-source alcohol?

shopping and customization - you’ll spend as much time adding go-faster stripes to your face mask and goldplating to your weaponry as you will bringing the pain on the terrorists.

Army of Two has a completely arbitrary plotline involving treacherous PMCs and a bill to privatise the military sprinkled with oh-so-topical references to 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina. The gorgeously rendered, ultra-violent cut scenes contain action set-pieces that put the repetitive gameplay to shame - watch out for the poor bloke who gets hurled off a moving train into a signpost.

Artfully concealed among all this slaughter, corruption and gleefully un-PC subject matter is EA’s true intention: to bring you closer to your bro, bro. Since the game is tailormade as a co-operative experience, it would fall on its Kevlar-plated arse without a mate to play it by your side. The computer-assisted single player game, while impressively intuitive, just doesn’t compare. You need a friend to help you decide how best to customise your new bazooka, point out the faintly homoerotic undertones in the Rios/ Salem dichotomy and laugh at the hilarious script, which features a mid-firefight discussion about the merits of the Wu Tang Clan and heavy use of the word “fucko”.

The co-op approach adds some much-needed depth with the player shielding their partner with car doors, hauling them over obstacles, tending to their bullet wounds and going back to back when surrounded for some bullet time destruction. As far as vehicles go, there’s the standard “I shoot, you drive” hovercraft operation and a parachuting/sniping combo in which the heroes descend onto the battlefield simultaneously firing, steering and spooning. One real innovation is Army of Two’s trademark Aggro meter system, whereby one mercenary attracts all the enemy attention so the other can sneakily flank and subsequently slaughter the hordes of oncoming terrorists. Naturally, there’s also an entirely pointless option to high five your buddy when he takes out a turret or smack him around for not taking out that suicide bomber.

Shallow, good-looking and aggressive, Army of Two might remind you of an old girlfriend - although presumably with less grenades. It’s far from the perfect shooter but if you’re desperate for some third person, gun totin’ action with ‘Two’ in the title this will at least tide you over until that Gears of War sequel comes out.

-Neil Pooran and Lyle Brennan

Next week, Tech have a super exciting two page spread!

Hooray!

What’s your favourite computer game?

Email us your choice with up to 100 words saying why you picked it and we’ll feature all the submissions next week.

Send your emails to student.newspaper. tech@googlemail.com!

Week 4 14.10.08

Student

Laying the Law down Fern Brady

StriplyCome Dancing SOMETIMES IF I’m too busy or I can’t be bothered properly researching an article I’ll use a tactic called Making Things Up. “But Fern,” you cry, “you’re not a real journalist so it doesn’t matter”.

Dispatches, on the other hand, is made by respected documentarymakers who lead you to believe that they’re getting to the heart of the matter.

Unfortunately, The Hidden World of Lapdancing had more holes in it than a pair of crotchless knickers. And yes, I see the flaw in that metaphor as crotchless knickers have only one hole.

As documentaries go, this was one in a long, long line of badlyresearched pieces on sex work in which the programme makers, having already decided what their viewpoint was going to be (namely, that all strippers are whores), reveal nothing new whatsoever.

Instead, we were subjected to an hour’s worth of the presenter expressing amazement that the strippers didn’t stand three feet away from him. All the while the entire subject matter was trivialised in an absurb manner with ‘quirky’ music playing throughout (they may as well have played the fucking Benny Hill theme tune).

Consequently, the tone alternated confusingly between one of moral outrage and pointless titillation.

In an attempt to distract viewers from the fact that there was very little content, they would repeatedly play what appeared to be the opening titles of a James Bond movie, in which a silhouetted lady gyrates suggestively. It was the adult equivalent of trying to distract a screaming toddler by saying “Look! Look at the pretty lights!”

On the upside, the programme unwittingly provided excellent publicity for the strip clubs featured, as I can’t envision many stag parties watching in horror when they discover that for £20 a pop you can see live lesbian action.

“Many of the lapdancers we spoke to were reluctant to be interviewed on camera” said the smugly judgemental narrator.

What? You mean, ex-lapdancers refused to be interviewed for a programme that would be heavily biased against them, destroy their present careers and reputations and ultimately blame them as part of the problem?

And all the while excusing a society which constantly renders women’s bodies as objects for purchase.

THIS WEEK the Nigella Express chugged back onto our screens to nourish the mother complexes of men nation-wide and as ever, the food was a mere distraction. Nigella loves to convince us she is a mortal but as she sashays into her stylishly cluttered kitchen, her hair immaculately waved, she oozes more sex appeal than a Marks and Spencer’s chocolate pudding.

She is a goddess. And goddesses do not get the bus, especially when they are married to advertising magnates.

So she sits out the rolling undulations of the double decker, telling us about the mouth watering treats to come with perfect diction. Next, we see Nigella the doting mother, lovingly attempting to tame her son’s decidedly wayward hair before waving him off on the school bus. Later, we see Nigella the working mother tucking into a Tupperware dish of what is basically noodles, peanut butter and red peppers, with chopsticks, on the train. For this monstrosity I have a carefully crafted description for Nigella, boke.

In the soft lighting of her home office she confesses that she has notes of every packed lunch she has ever made for her little darlings and informs us with mock despair that she has to cater for her son Bruno’s picnic. She does this with an admirable enthusiasm but Nigella, Nigella, Nigella, why the maniacal grin? We know you are beautiful, you certainly know you are, so why strain your pretty face with overly-alluring expressions that verge on the demonic? I’ve never seen anyone anticipate a head of cabbage with such glee.

As I had predicted, Dairylea

Lunchables are not on the menu for these young critics and as she breezes into the park I start to think that Nigella may not be a goddess, but in fact Jesus.

The delicately-packed boxes of rocky road, chicken drumsticks and coleslaw do not look enough to satisfy a small family, yet, Nigella manages to feed the 5000 children who are clamouring to sample her gourmet picnic. This is when the disbelief truly sets in, last time you were in McDonalds, did you hear children wailing, ‘Mummy, but I want pecan salad’?

After her triumph in the park she returns to prepare ‘a flask of something hot and filling to keep about my person all day’. This in fact turns out to be pea and pesto soup and with it, she performs another miracle.

She is seen supping this never-ending supply of Kermit green soup on the bus, in the park, in the back of a taxi.

No doubt, at her next dinner party she’ll be turning table water into a fruity Cabernet Sauvignon with lots of body.

Speaking of body, you should see the size of Nigella’s...pantry as she forages for the ingredients of her ‘Hokey-Pokey’. As she melts a pan of butter and sugar, informing us, ‘It’s not cooking, it’s kitchen alchemy,’ you have to wonder what kind of engineering is winching her into those twin-sets.

The apparent contradiction of her elegant, high cheek-boned face and the fabric clinging to her ample assets is hard to ignore, not helped by her tongue and cheek commentary.

Nigella Lawson is a national treasure and as she hammers her honeycomb into ‘large and biteable pieces’, we salute her.

TV 25

Yummy mummy Nigella Lawson could teach you a thing or two in the...kitchen - and her new series promises more half-baked ideas and suggestive looks than ever, says Susan Robinson

Nigella’s guests were secretly delighted when she offered breast or leg

Bear necessities

Student likes its men to be able to kill a beast with their Bear hands. Student likes Bear Grylls

SUNDAY EVENING is not traditionally prime TV, but the return of ex-SAS supremo Bear Grylls and his absurd world tour provides a funnier hour than any of the “real comedy” currently rotting our brain cells on E4 or BBC3.

Bear Grylls, tough, yet eloquent offers his own unique advice on how to survive in some of the world’s most unforgiving terrain, using his own experience and an insight into survival methods used by local tribes...the reality is slightly different.

There is nothing tough or gritty about Bear Grylls, they could have taken any upper class moron off the street with no less insight than Grylls has. Yet he does constantly try to display himself in absurdly dangerous situations. On one occasion he swings Tarzan-style through a mile of jungle to his waiting helicopter - impressive - until the camera pans to a footpath five metres away - but this is all part of the haphazard charm of the show.

Bear himself is a an overgrown, overly cheerful Barry Ferguson. But

to integrate with locals and learn their ancient survival techniques are colourful. Bear helps a Namibian tribe capture an “enormous porcupine” (the size of a small cat). Bear exhibits great commentary with “Porcupines have been known to kill lions - the one thing I know is that a cornered animal is dangerous, especially one with spikes.” Damn, there goes my hedgehog petting tour of Algeria.

‘Born Survivor’ is the ‘Spinal Tap’ of nature documentaries.

And, who knows, if you’re planning to run naked through the Arctic circle with a sign saying ‘Polar bears are gay’, you might even pick up some useful survival tips.

Bear was really unimpressed by - Gregor Cubie Wagamama’s new snake-fish roll

unlike said football knuckle-dragger, he conducts himself soberly and seriously. Bear’s tips are vague and generic, but to his credit he usually knows what food is safe to eat. However it is satisfying to watch him eat a goat testicle and witness his surprise when it doesn’t taste nice - despite the fact and he does it every week.

In the first episode of the new series Grylls shows his break from television has taught him nothing about nutrition; having just completed a week long search for drinking water he makes it into tea...using animal shite.

The beauty of Born Survivor is Bear’s eagerness to make his situation even more desperate. Not content to be stranded in the Namibian desert, mounts a two hundred metre tall pile of rocks, stopping half way up for a nap on a thin ledge. It is here, having spent all day trying desperately to get to the ledge, he complains: “Thirty foot up on a narrow ledge is a nerve wracking place to spend the night.”

And Bear’s misguided attempts

26 Sport

Student

Is the well running dry?

The current state of British tennis has been called into question recently with fears over a genuine talent crisis beginning to come to the boil.

Team GBs narrow loss to Austria in the Davis Cup in September consigned them to relegation from the World Division into the Europe/Africa zone and did nothing to quell fears of a bleak future for British tennis. Of course, implying that the well has completely dried up in terms of talent is a falsity as the fourth best player in the world game currently is Andy Murray..

The precociously talented 21 year old from Dunblane is the only real beacon of light for professional British tennis at the moment and carries a tremendous burden whenever he enters a major tournament. He enters the championship knowing that he is carrying the hopes of a nation on his shoulders, let alone his own ambitions for glory. The fact that we possess a top four player would be enough to suppress the fears of the average tennis fan over what lies ahead for the sport in this country but for the more trained eye, there is undoubtedly an issue.

Andrew Murray is a stunning talent and his success in the US

Open at Flushing Meadows in 2008 only accentuated further how quickly his game and temperament are developing. He possesses a myriad of possible shots that even the three people above him in the rankings currently envy and with every Grand Slam that goes by Murray shows signs of being bigger and better. However, although Murray is British and proudly represents Team GB at championships there is the question over whether the player he has become is actually a result of the British Lawn Tennis Association.

A glance down his training record will reveal that at the age of 15 Murray sacrificed the latter years of his childhood to attend the Sánchez-Casal Academy in Barcelona in order to push on with his goal of breaking into the professional game. The catalyst for Murray to make this switch was the knowledge that current world number one Rafael Nadal was training with former world number one Spanish tennis star Carlos Moya. Therefore he left his family and friends behind to attend the coveted Catalonian academy and hone his tennis skills. Thus this has fuelled debate over whether the British LTA can in fact take the credit for Murray’s

SHINING LIGHT: Andy Murray stands alone as Britain’s great tennis hope

mercurial rise to the summit of the world game.

There can be little doubt that the discovery of the natural talent that Murray possesses can be accredited to the British trainers but the process of transforming this talent into a world-class player was carried out overseas. Perhaps Murray would still be where he is today if he had stayed in Britain and gone through the academies on home soil, but the very fact that an exuberant teenager thought it better to look overseas suggests something fundamentally wrong with our system of developing young tennis talent.

It also means that since Tim Henman and Greg Rusedski broke onto the world scene around a decade ago Great Britain has not had a top 20 player, or even a contender other than Murray. This is shown further by the fact that Jamie Baker and Alex Bogdanovich, both Davis Cup players, languish 150 to 200 places down in the rankings, completely off the radar.

Even Great Britain’s number one woman’s player Anne Keothavong is ranked number 80 in the world which is in itself a sad reflection on the amount of potentially worldclass talent in British tennis today.

Week 4 14.10.08

Alistair Shand bemoans the distinct lack of British tennis talent However, the event that has truly brought constantly simmering questions of a British tennis crisis to the boil has to be the Davis Cup loss to Austria last month.

Team GB were defeated 3-2 in a Davis Cup match hosted at the All England Club, Wimbledon with a sizeable home crowd in attendance who gave vocal support for their team. One could not find a venue more steeped in tennis history and more inspiring for the British team and still the match ended in failure. Inevitably the British team’s success banks on its star Andy Murray winning his matches and the British number one, even while evidently jaded from his exertions in New York, managed to deliver as he won both his singles rubbers. However, this is the point where the British team’s success stalled. Alex Bogdanovich took to the court and subsequently lost his match, many of the points he lost coming as a result of unforced errors. Two doubles defeats followed and once again a Davis Cup match finished in defeat for Team GB. The onerous task falling on Andy Murray’s increasingly broad shoulders every match is enough to demonstrate the black hole that exists in the sport. Murray’s

frustrated comments after the recent Davis Cup defeat highlight further the obvious lack of top quality British prospects: “The question is whether anyone on this team is prepared to make the sacrifices I made to reach the top of the game.” The world number four also questioned whether the other players “wanted it as badly as he did”.

The desperate need for genuine top-class talent in British tennis, that has been moulded and developed by the Lawn Tennis Association, is something that must be addressed soon. British tennis cannot rely on Andy Murray to be the past, future and present for much longer and need to start researching improved training methods that ensure our bright prospects, like young Laura Robson who triumphed at Junior Wimbledon, hone their tennis skills and become the top level players they undoubtedly have the talent to become.

Without this kind of specialised training and sacrifice on the part of the player there is no sign of the dry well of talent in British tennis filling up anytime soon and fears of a crisis will become more and more real.

Week 4 14.10.08

Student

Sport 27

Money over matter?

Davie Heaton discusses cricket’s impending $20m match Two of the hottest rivals in cricket are slugging out a fascinating test series in the sticky heat of Asia, but the eyes of the England team are not glued to the highlights.

Batsmen will not be plotting how to regain the ashes against a post-Warne Australia bereft of a quality spinner next summer; bowlers will not be contemplating how to take 20 ageing Indian wickets on the sun-baked pitches of Ahmedabad or Mumbai this winter. And who can blame them?

The $1m carrot that has been dangled in front of each of them was, briefly, under threat last week as a face-off of a very different kind was being settled off the field.

Happily for them, real-estate giant Allen Stanford and Denis O’Brian, owner of telecommunications company Digicel, have since come to an agreement over the commercial rights to the “Twenty20 for $20m” match between England and the Stanford Superstar XI scheduled to take place this November.

If you listen very carefully, you can hear England fans everywhere breathing a collective sigh of relief at the news that this totally meaningless exhibition match will go ahead; a match that has not been preceded by any kind of qualification tournament; a match in which the individual contributions of the players will not appear subsequently on their career records; and a match that is being played for no trophy of any cricketing value. I think not.

Supporters care about their side’s fortunes when they are competing against traditional rivals or respected opposition. Imagine Stanford’s Twenty20 circus as the equivalent of a football world cup

final between England and Germany, only the qualification, group and knockout phases of the competition have been scrapped and the finalists drawn out of a hat.

Oh, and replace the Germans with an Abramovich All-Star XI. By officially endorsing this match the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) have effectively set the precedent that the national team is available for hire to anybody who can stump up the cash. Maybe next year we’ll find Kevin Pietersen and co padding up to entertain the wedding guests of the rich and famous. An exaggeration, perhaps, but if Stanford can sign them up to his reality TV show about 22 cricketers who are playing a game for $20m, then who knows what’s next?

A Texan billionaire landing his gold-plated helicopter on the outfield of the home of cricket is a relatively new phenomenon in the sport, and the game is discovering that money makes people do silly things for variably justifiable reasons - at the inexcusably stupid end of the scale we have the West Indies Cricket Board (WICB) selling the same set of rights to two different investors in Stanford and O’Brien.

Moving up the scale, we have the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB), and their plans to challenge the supremacy of the Indian Premier League (IPL), which took place for the first time with enormous success earlier this year.

This is an understandable idea, given the unhealthy power that India and its cricketing head Lalit Modi enjoy. The IPL’s popularity was based on the fact that, with only eight teams, every game was packed with a multitude of inter-

national superstars, who were attracted by the promise of earning shed loads of cash. But in their rival tournament, the ECB did not want to upset any of the existing counties by reducing the number of sides involved: There are not enough world class players around to fill 18 teams, and the financial butter would be spread too thinly to interest them anyway. In an attempt to please everyone, the ECB have produced a depressingly English half measure.

And, at the end of the scale that we can identify with, are the players, who jump at the chance to earn much more money for much less work. Their job is to play cricket, and they are entitled to play for whoever they want.

For now, at least, these Twenty20 side-shows can coexist with real cricket. But this will not be the case for long in an already overcrowded international schedule.

The first evidence of this could be on show next summer, when Sri Lanka may well arrive on British soil minus their captain and several star players due to contractual commitments elsewhere. This is where the International Cricket Council (ICC) must step in. They have been hopelessly quiet on the issue until now, but even in these times of profit over principal they must see the bigger picture. A window must be created for Twenty20 during which no international cricket is scheduled, and any competition organised outside of this period should be given rebel status.

It may ruffle a few rich feathers, but it would protect the game as we know it, while allowing the players to enjoy their Indian summer.

IN THE MONEY: Kevin Pietersen looks forward to a big payday

Victory for rugby ladies Sportline Ladies Rugby

University of Edinburgh University of Dundee

24 5

Holly Webster Edinburgh University Ladies have made a flying start to the season with a 24–5 victory over Dundee University in the SWRU Premier League.

Edinburgh kicked off but quickly regained possession with an opening tackle from flanker Nikki McLeod.

Pressure from Edinburgh pushed Dundee back into their own half but they fought back and after winning the ball winger Jen Watson made a successful break down the left wing putting Dundee in front, 5-0.

Sustained pressure from Edinburgh after the restart pushed

Dundee back into their 22 and allowed full back Anna Fleming space on the left wing to attempt Edinburgh’s first try. Dundee’s defence withstood Fleming’s break however and the try was held up. Despite Edinburgh’s best attempts to break through Dundee’s defence they remained unsuccessful, leaving the score 5-0 at half-time.

Dundee started the second half with the kick-off and once again Edinburgh quickly pushed their way up into Dundee’s 22. A 22 drop out from Dundee allowed Edinburgh to once again take possesion and saw winger Cat Ward flying down the wing to score Edinburgh’s first try of the season. The try was successfully converted by fly half Maddy Grant taking Edinburgh into the lead 7-5.

A well positioned kick by Grant after the restart saw Ward taking

another try for Edinburgh in the far left corner. This difficult kick was again converted by Grant taking the score to 14-5.

This point in the game saw Edinburgh grow in confidence and led to several wheeled 5m scrums in the Dundee half, giving Edinburgh the advantage. Edinburgh’s vice-captain Fiona Majorin made a good break across the centre of the pitch scoring in the left corner; the conversion was narrowly missed taking the score to 19-5. A scrum on Dundee’s 22m line resulted in a well worked move through Edinburgh’s backs. Fullback Fleming used the space well and offloaded to Ward who scored her third try of the day, and after a missed conversion took the score to 24-5.

Dundee fought bitterly to the end and held back any further attacks by Edinburgh.

Fixtures Basketball:

Lacrosse: Men: University of Edinburgh 1st v Aberdeen University 1st

Women:

Women:

University of Edinburgh 1st v Newcastle University 1st

University of Edinburgh 1st v Queen Margaret University 1st

Rugby:

Football

Men:

Men:

University of Edinburgh 1st v Aberdeen University 1st

University of Edinburgh 1st v University of Glasgow 1st

Women:

Hockey

University of Edinburgh 1st v Leeds Met Carnegie 1st

Men: University of Edinburgh 1st v University of Glasgow 1st

Women:

Tennis:

Men:

University of Edinburgh 1st v Leeds Met Carnegie 1st

University of Edinburgh 1st v University of Glasgow 1st

For full results and reports go to: www.eusu.ed.ac.uk

28 Sport

Student

Week 4 14.10.08

Student Sport

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Hazeldine fires Uni through Men’s Football Image Printers Cup

Student’s wry look at the world of sport Several weekends ago was the engage Super League final between Leeds and St. Helens as the former retained their trophy at a close to capacity Old Trafford.

Whether you watched through genuine interest or because you realised that they have girls in skimpy outfits calling themselves cheerleaders, I am sure it was worth it. However, with the Rugby League World Cup just around the corner my excitement for it couldn’t be much less.

As far as club rugby goes, Rugby League is definitely where the party is, yet when it comes to Internationals you simply cannot beat Rugby Union. The Six Nations isn’t even close yet the thought of it sends tingles down my spine.

The intense rivalry between the English and the Scots escalates each year especially with England deliberately losing to the Scots to keep them happy…well, maybe not. Potterow has certainly seen its fair share of post match entertainment.

As for the Irish - win, lose or draw we all know their Saint provides the best night out so you just have to love them.

The Welsh have their sheep so sports like Rugby League really don’t get a look in while although the Italians are nice enough, you always hate playing them because if you lose you feel as embarrassed as a guy singing karaoke whilst sober, naked and standing in front of his own mother. Yet, one thing that unites even the most patriotic English and Scots fan is our mutual hatred for the French.

I don’t know how or why they have acquired this undisputable title. Could it be their arrogance regarding their cuisine a n d cooking? Their ability to retreat even in the face of victory? Or possibly even just the fact they live across the Channel.

They do however have one redeeming factor, and no, it is not that James McFadden plays so well against them, but Marcel Desailly’s incoherent babble when he tries to speak English.

It really is comical genius.

So despite our mutual hatred for our rivals from Paris, thank goodness they are there, uniting us in the face of diversity.

Edward Senior

University of Edinburgh Craigroyston

5 1

Matthew Riley A dominant second half performance from Edinburgh University and the irrepressible Michael Hazeldine saw the team destroy Craigroyston 5-1 to progress to the next round of the Image Printers Cup. The first half was a scrappy affair, in which both teams relied on direct long balls to test the other.

The strong wind made this tactic effective for the home side as they drew uncertainty and rash tacklesfrom the opponents. The opening goal came in the 15th minute from

a sublime and intricate move. It was orchestrated by Stephen Maxwell, who drifted through Craigroyston’s midfield to link up with Hazeldine and then release Stewart Hogg, who delicately chipped the keeper from eight yards.

Despite being a goal to the good, Edinburgh weren’t always at ease against a feisty opposition, who were willing to chase and hassle.

This lack of composure cost the Uni when a Craigroyston attacker was chopped down inside the penalty area by Ruaraigh Scott. There were no incensed protests from the team or bench as Jamie Paterson blasted the visitors level from the spot. A matter of minutes later the score line swung back in Edinburgh’s favour however as they bombarded the visitors six yard box with consecutive corners. During the ensu-

ing havoc caused by the second corner, Scott wriggled free of his marker and atoned for his earlier misdemeanour by drilling the ball past the helpless goalkeeper. 2-1.

After a frantic six minutes, Edinburgh tried to sit on the lead and exert some control. The strong centre-back pairing of Scott Fusco and Stephen Thompson ensured the visitors’ probing long balls bore no fruit. When they were beaten, which was rarely, 18 year old goalkeeper Mark Tait was in fine form, particularly in the 31st minute when reacting brilliantly to save a curling effort. At half time Edinburgh were ahead but not comfortable, with manager Dougie Samuel more then aware that tactical fine-tuning was necessary.

During the half-time break, Samuel explained to his team that

James Pope

GOAL BOUND: Michael Hazeldine watches as he adds another goal to his tally

they needed to play with far more purpose and to get the ball forward quicker and earlier.

This renewed focus was clear from the kick-off as they attacked with a greater sense of urgency. A greater emphasis on wing play was clear too, which paid dividends in the 63rd minute as Hazeldine eased away from his marker to head home Jamie Redman’s angled cross. At 31, the difference in class began to tell, as did the visitors’ growing frustration - two of their players were booked within a matter of minutes for cynical challenges. Edinburgh kept their focus under this pressure and with the introduction of Chris Woods, who came on for the quiet Michael Dick, began to dominate. Woods’s arrival brought greater movement upfront, creating a further distraction for an already stretched Craigroyston backline.

The visitors continued to push forward looking for a route back into the tie, but to no avail. Speculative efforts reigned in at Tait’s goal without any real threat of beating the assured youngster.

The game was put beyond doubt seven minutes from time as Hazeldine hit his second and Edinburgh’s fourth. Sublime control, combined with a good sense of awareness, took Hazeldine past three opposition defenders to calmly stroke the ball beyond the keeper. The former Wigan striker completed his demolition of Craigroyston, earning his hat-trick with just two minutes remaining. He connected perfectly with Stewart Hogg’s bullet cross - his diving header nestling in the corner of the net. Even at 5-1, Edinburgh continued to pour forward in a bid to further their lead.

A few hopeful efforts amounted to nothing and the game ended with a resounding victory for the University.

After the game, manager Sammuel lavished praise on Hazeldine after his vital contribution: “He really is from the top drawer and was excellent for us. I was most pleased with the clean sheet in the second half especially with the the awkward conditions.

‘We’re delighted with the result.

I thought we played better in the second half than in the first whichwas a bit of a mixed bag.

“We were a bit eratic, playing well one minute but slipping up the next. We passed the ball better in the second half.” he added.

Despite obvious satisfaction, Edinburgh will be aware that greater opponents lie in wait and that the uncertainty witnessed in the first half will need to be addressed to avoid punishment from more prolific opponents. The Uni are in cup action again this week as they face St Cuthbert Wanderers in the SFA South Regional Cup.