Tuesday March 03 2009 | Week 8
studentnewspaper.org
U2: No Line on the Horizon MUSIC
S I N C E 1887
P20
F E AT U R E S
P12-13
The Student investigates some treetop activity
The Street Fighter series makes a welcome return TECH
P24
T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ER
Candidates clash as EUSA elections loom
University lobbying forces visa rules change
ON THE SPOT: The five EUSA presidential candidates at the Student debate last week. From left to right: Oliver Mundell , Benedict Robbins, Liz Rawlings, Thomas Graham and James Rodger James Ellingworth AS THE EUSA election campaign entered its final week, those standing stepped up their publicity campaigns, and the five candidates for president at the Student hustings on Friday. Meanwhile, Camilla Pierry was confirmed as the new Vice President Societies and Activities, after the only other candidate for the role, Louise Fellows, withdrew. The Student presidential debate saw the candidates trade blows over issues ranging from installing water fountains Old College to the conflicts in the Middle East, with some particularly strong exchanges between Thomas Graham and Oliver Mundell. Mundell claimed Graham had attempted to block earlier EUSA reso-
lutions against the proposed national ID cards, and that he was only opposing the scheme for electoral reasons, and described Graham's proposed 'dial-a-drink' alcohol delivery plan as 'shocking'. He added that: “This election is about looking forward into the future, not about candidates who've had their chance and failed to deliver.” Graham responded by attacking Mundell's plan to spend a day each week working at the King's Buildings campus. He dismissed the idea as 'tokenism', saying: “I'm sorry Oliver, but we don't need the president working at KB, where they don't have an office, and can't do their job properly.” Liz Rawlings rejected calls from Graham and James Rodger that EUSA should focus more on local problems than campaigns about wider political issues, claiming that: “Apart
from top-up fees, these are the only issues that have got students involved in politics in the last five years.” Rawlings also called for earlier publication of exam timetables to aid international students' travel plans. James Rodger called on the audience to consider the practicalities of promises, claiming that many were either outside the president's remit or unaffordable, saying: “When you see a pledge on a poster, I want you to consider the viability of that pledge – where the candidate is going to source the money from and who they're going to talk to to achieve it.” Benedict Robbins faced criticism over a perceived lack of detail in his policies, and chose to focus on presenting himself as a candidate who could bring 'personal integrity' to the office of EUSA president, and make the association more open by being an
CALUM TOOGOOD
Anna MacSwan
'ordinary student with an extraordinary vision'. Earlier in the week, Guy Bromley, the current EUSA Vice President Academic Affairs, claimed Thomas Graham had misled the electorate over his previous record in student politics. Bromley told the Student: “Extended library hours were announced at the General Meeting in February 2007, before Thomas became Academic Services Convenor. He's wrongly claiming this as his victory – and it's a central part of his campaign.” EUSA candidates pledge pay cuts and Gordon Brown comments on the student elections p.3 Camilla Pierry returned unopposed as VPSA after opponent withdraws p.4
AS A result of pressure from the University and umbrella groups, the government has been forced to backtrack on changes to visa rules that could have caused chaos for overseas students. Overseas students would have only been granted visas for a maximum of four years under the original proposals, seriously inconveniencing students of subjects such as medicine and architecture. The Student understands that this measure has now been withdrawn as a result of pressure from the higher education sector. Students from non-EU countries wishing to study in Britain would also have had to provide evidence of access to funds to pay tuition fees and £8,000a-year maintenance costs under the new rules. This sum has been significantly cut after universities expressed concerns that it would deter overseas students, a vital source of income for many institutions. Additionally, a 50 per cent increase in visa fees has been announced by the Home Office and UK Border Agency (UKBA), raising the cost from £99 to £145. Universities have complained of 'little or no' consultation before the changes were made, but the Student understands that they have not been able to win any concessions on this issue. Concerns were raised that the lack of a guarantee of automatic renewal would deter students from applying to Scottish universities in particular, given that the longer length of courses would make universities elsewhere in the UK a lower risk option. Alan Mackay, Head of the International Office at the University of Edinburgh said “That was absolutely key for us, we felt from the very beginning that there had been an oversight and have pushed through various routes for that to be recognised.” Efforts in collaboration with Universities Scotland and Universities UK however have paid off, and it has emerged that UKBA will now grant a visa for the entire duration for all courses, following a consultation with universities. Continued on page 2 »
Tuesday February 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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NEWS »p1–6
» EU students' unpaid
ELECTION ROUNDUP p4
UK loans revealed
The Student looks at the remaining Vice Presidential candidates
Jordan Campbell
NAPIER UNI IN SINGAPORE SHENANIGANS p5
EU STUDENTS risk leaving behind a mountain of debt, after it was revealed that 70% have not repaid loans that they took out while studying in the UK. Statistics from the Students Loan Company show that out of 2,240 EU students who should have started repaying their loans this year, only 1,580 have actually done so. Since 2006, students from the EU have been entitled to low interest loans in order to pay their tuition fees to study in the UK. As with UK students, EU students also have to pay fees England, Wales and Northern Ireland. Whilst EU students studying in Scotland as with Scottish students have their tuition fees paid for them. The figure of 2,240 represents the number of students who were set to start repaying in 2007. By the end of 2007, 59% had not started repaying their debts and by the end of 2008 this had risen to 70%. This unaccounted debt is estimated at £3.8 million. These worrying trends have led to much criticism over the way in which The SLC collects debt. The Shadow Minister for Innovation, Universities & Skills, David Willets MP, commented, "It's very important that the Student Loans Company is as energetic in collecting debt built up by students across the continent of Europe as they must be in collecting debts from students in Britain," he said. The collection of foreign debt is a more complex process unlike the UK system where deductions, like tax, are made automatically from income. These statistics also serve as further damaging indictment upon the DIUS after it had already been slammed for being ineffective by a parliamentary audit earlier this year.
A Singaporian university has been fraudulently claiming affiliation with Napier University
UNIVERSITY SAYS AFB SAFE p6
Asbestos removal in the Adam Ferguson Building does not present a health hazard, say University
COMMENT »p7–9
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE p7
Alan Williamson asks the EUSA presidential candidates to explain just what exactly they're standing for
LAY OFF FACEBOOK! p8
Karishma Sudara defends everyone's favourite website from recent slanders
ARTS & FEATURES »p13– 24 A WEIGHTY ISSUE - p14 Jen Bowden sizes up Britain's obesity crisis
LA VIE EN ROSE - p15 John Sannaee makes the case for student living, French-style
MRS THATCHER, ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE ME? - p16 James Ellingworth doesn't know what to make of this dramatised version of Thatcher's last days in office.
ANVIL! p18
Tom Macdonald reviews the story of a real-life Spinal Tap.
SPORT »p27–28 BACK IN THE SADDLE p27
As cycling superstar Lance Armstrong prepares for a comeback, Michael Klimes looks to the challenges that lie ahead.
The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org.
THE EURO: just one of the currencies EU students could be using to pay their debts, but aren't In defence of the figures, the SLC stated that there could be a possibility that those students, who potentially had to pay, may still be ineligible as their earnings were not yet high enough, whilst Higher Education Minister David Lammy also defended the SLC and claimed that he was taking the issue very seriously. When quizzed as to whether any legal action may be taken against foreign students who do not pay, he stated, “None of us are in the business of trying to drive 20-year-olds through the courts. All of us seek to remind
young people of their responsibilities and that applies both to UK and EU citizens." The number of EU students studying in the UK has been on the upsurge for a number of years. With regard to Scotland the number of EU students receiving support has increased by 93.8 per cent to 8,680 between 2002-2003 and 2007-2008, whilst the percentage of EU students both undergraduate and postgraduate that are enrolled at the University of Edinburgh as of 2007-2008 stood at just under 9%.
Visa rules changed after universities pressure government continued from front page Students will also now only need to provide evidence of access to funds to sustain living costs of £5,400 per year outside and £7,200 per year if they are studying in London, reducing requirements to a more realistic amount and reducing risk of students not being able to meet proposed levels. Negotiations with the Home Office are ongoing to resolve a number of outstanding issues, including concerns over potentially huge costs of new IT infrastructure and increased administration to provide data required for the visas, and an effective means of communicating to prospective international students the intricacies of visa requirements. The issue becomes even more significant in light of increased competitiveness within the international student recruitment market, as students become more and more internationally mobile, and non English
speaking countries introduce English language programs. The news was well received by university figures. Alan Mackay told the Student: “If we see ourselves as we’ve been ranked as one of the top 25 universities in the world, that is no small feat.
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If we want to continue to be respected as an international university, the UK and the University should be seen as welcoming.” Alan Mackay, University of Edinburgh International Office
"If we want to continue to be respected as an international university we need to reflect this in our students and staff, and the UK and university should be seen as welcoming.”
The news was welcomed by overseas students studying at the University. Sophie Secaf, a first-year student from Brazil, told the Student “I don’t think that the increased visa fees and bureaucracy would have altered my decision to study in Edinburgh, given that the economic difference would be marginal when considering the total cost of my degree. "However, the issue is significant in that such regulations definitely send out an unwelcoming message, especially to those students dependent on sponsorship or scholarships." Yu Chris Maruyama, a third year student from Hong Kong said: "The main reason I chose to study in the UK was because I took A-levels in school and wanted to continue in the British system, so visa regulations would not really have changed my decision. "However if it became exceptionally difficult to obtain a visa, I would have felt as if other countries were slightly more accepting."
VIZZZUAL.COM
What’s in this issue
Tuesday March 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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News 3
EUSA candidates pledge pay cuts as race reaches its climax THREE OF the five EUSA presidential candidates have pledged to take a pay cut if elected, adding another twist to an already eventful campaign. Liz Rawlings, Oliver Mundell and Benedict Robbins have all said that they will either give part of their salary, currently around £20,000, to charity, or plough it back into EUSA. Robbins has even gone as far to say that, if elected, he will only claim a wage to cover his basic needs, describing the role of president as 'an act of service', adding: “I don't see why I need to get paid.” Mundell said that he would donate any money above that required for his living costs to charity, and called for salaries to be set on an individual basis, according to the elected candidate's needs, adding that a typical EUSA wage should be 'around £11-12,000.' Rawlings told the Student that she would 'absolutely' take a pay cut, saying: “If it's in line with the current economic climate, I wouldn't want to be earning more than other graduates.” She added that she saw 'no need' for EUSA salaries to be above £16,000, but rejected Mundell's call for salaries to be set on an individual basis., saying: “I don't think that's helpful, or that any other graduate scheme would set their pay levels based on a student's background." Tim Goodwin, EUSA president in the 2006-7 academic year, was the last EUSA figure to take a pay cut as part of a campaign pledge, returning £1,300 to the association, although current president Adam Ramsay recently revealed to the Student that he has donated a 'large chunk' of his salary to charity. James Rodger, one of the two candidates who have not said they will cut their pay, said that this 'should not be
PRINTER'S PARADISE: A riot of brightly-coloured posters as the EUSA elections reach their climax. an issue', and that “the pay is fair, for what is essentially a graduate-level job.” “Having said that, however, I would consider supporting societies who needed money for particular events I was keen on through grants from my own pay cheque,” he added. Thomas Graham told the Student: “If I am elected I intend to earn every penny I'm paid, working full-time
Gordon Brown, Prime Minister and exNews Editor of the Student, comments on the futility of student politics PIPES AND promises have mixed uneasily this week with the realities of student power. Despite the talk of food, failures and flats (did they promise 300,000 or 400,000?) and the usual diplomatically announced campaign meetings that never take place, today's climax to a week's
LYLE BRENNAN
James Ellingworth
electioneering will not belie the real victor. Apathy is streets ahead. Who in fact wants to make himself a student politician? The wild-eyed idealist, the worried incompetent or the shaggy radical? Beyond the facades of secondhand rosettes, lewd posters, non-
and concentrating 100 percent on the job right from day one.” One current EUSA sabbatical told the Student that sabbatical salaries are calculated by adding 25 percent to the rate of student support for postgraduate research students. This figure would place the salaries of next year's president and vice-presidents around the £18,500 mark, equating to £1,200 per month after tax, al-
though it would also mean that EUSA sabbaticals' salaries are set to increase below the rate of inflation. The source also described the way salaries are paid as 'dodgy', saying that he had never signed a contract to cover his work for EUSA. There was a further development after Mundell revealed that he had considered pledging to live off a £7,000 wage as part of a campaign for a mini-
mum income guarantee for students, but had been discouraged by current sabbaticals Adam Ramsay and Guy Bromley. Ramsay told the Student he had not 'forced' Mundell to drop the policy, but admitted having discussed the topic with him. He added that any pledge of this sort, while 'a very noble thing to do', could discourage poorer students from standing for EUSA positions.
candidates and even modesty (with in Churchill's phrase a lot to be modest about), two types of student politician can be detected: the politician who wants to see ideas put into action (and usually doesn't wait around very long if they aren't), and the politician who wants to see himself in action. The ego trip is by far the most compelling explanation for the student politician. Either he is conscious of his own social inadequacies or he is dreaming up a career in real politics. But who ever makes it? Is the SRC debate - home of irrelevant debate and pissed-off members - really the breeding ground for our nation's leaders? The most important thing about a student politician, however, is that he cannot do much. Once at the top of his greasy pole, he is supported, like a rope the person it hangs, by a diffuse, disorganised and apathetic student body whose interest does not even reach to the level of throwing flourbombs. His mandate is a myth - only highly emotional issues like the South African shares [the University owning shares in companies in apartheid South Africa] give him power from below - and I know for sure that when the results are known, the University secretariat
will be counting the vote, taking out their log tables and working out their percentages to prove how unrepresen-
comes naturally. He may attend sherry parties (and hopefully vomit) and sip tea with the powers that be but he himself is not a power. He and his funds are responsible in theory and in practice to someone else. Sooner or later (and for most unfortunately it is later) our student politician will have to come face to face with the dreadful truth that the realities of power are that he doesn't have any. What he is doing is manning the University's least popular committees and making up the numbers at formal occasions: propping up in fact an undemocratic and authoritarian system (which he doesn't believe in) without being able to change a thing. So can a politician achieve anything? I believe he can - only by first realising the limits of the possible. That his actual power is minimal; and that his real power is as a propagandist - in providing ideas and policies for changing the whole of university government, and as an administrator - putting money to better uses.
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The ego trip is by far the most compelling explanation for the student politician. Either he is conscious of his own social inadequacies or he is dreaming up a career in real politics.” tative the new president is: "Ah, Mr Turberville - Drummond - Manley - McLean. I see 8.7 per cent of the students wanted you." And at the other extreme our student politician is told he is below a University administration of professors and bureaucrats to whom power
This comment first appeared in the Student in 1971. It has been edited for clarity
Tuesday March 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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News
VPSA race over as candidate withdraws Lyle Brennan FOR THE first time in six years, a EUSA sabbatical officer will be appointed without fighting an election at the University of Edinburgh. With Vice President Societies and Activities (VPSA) candidate Louise Fellows having announced her withdrawal from the Association’s general election, third-year History student Camilla Pierry will take the position unopposed. As the self-professed ‘outside’ candidate, Fellows was at first keen
to point out her intention to make EUSA a more inclusive and democratic organisation. However, it now appears that the Association’s reputed cliquishness has proved to be a key factor in the third-year English Literature student’s decision not to run. In a withdrawal statement released last Friday, she wrote: “Contrary to much of EUSA’s publication, experience does count. Perhaps more importantly though, the backing of people who actually care about the election is essential. "My opponent has built relation-
ships over the past few years with people who will give their votes and their support, whilst I found myself amongst a group of students occupied with their own lives, and unwilling to give up their time for EUSA.” The statement continued with the somewhat pessimistic prediction that ‘the majority of students will still feel that EUSA is irrelevant to them, and candidates like me will continue to struggle’. Whereas Fellows readily acknowledged the limits of her previous experience, VPSA-elect, Camilla Pierry, boasts an extensive record of
VICE PRESIDENT ACADEMIC AFFAIRS
After profiling the presidential candidates last week, here is a quick rundown of the vicepresidential contenders and their policies...
involvement in Edinburgh University societies and student politics, including a seat on the EUSA Finance Committee and a stint as President of student support service, Nightline. She is also understood to have relatively close links to a number of EUSA figures. The position of VPSA was created in 2004 and is currently held by Naomi Hunter. As well as being responsible for liaising with the universities 200-plus societies, the VPSA is expected to organise welfare schemes such as EUSA’s recent Sexual Health Week.
After being elected, EUSA sabbatical officers take a year-long break from their studies to concentrate on the duties entailed by the post, during which they are paid a graduate-level wage for their services. The other three positions to function in this way are President, Vice President Academic Affairs and Vice President Services. The last time a EUSA sabbatical gained office unopposed was during the 2003 general elections, when two candidates withdrew, leaving Neil Benny to take the position of Vice President Services.
VICE PRESIDENT SERVICES SIMON KIRKLAND
JAMES WALLACE
- Campaign for a new, 'streamlined' WebCT system
- Cheaper catering in popular study areas
- Online booking system for rooms in union buildings
- Free entry to Big Cheese at Potterrow
- Publicity budgets for class reps to raise their profile
- Departmental league table to highlight failing areas
- Campaign to refurbish the Pleasance
- Revamp the Teviot Sportsmen's bar
- A second-hand book exchange allowing students to trade course books
- Better teaching for postgraduate tutors
- Organise a student internship scheme for the entertainment industry
- Install water fountains at all campuses
Students defy NUS policy to protest for free education James Ellingworth THOUSANDS OF students converged on London last week to demonstrate against tuition fees after a government report suggested the £3000 cap will soon be raised. The protest, which took place last Wednesday, found a base of support within the National Union of Students, whose policy currently describes abolishing tuition fees as ‘unfeasible’. Student unions from at least 20 British universities have pledged their support to the campaign. Katherine McMahon, who helped to organise the London protest said: “I feel really strongly about free education and I was really frustrated by NUS's inaction. “The problem with bodies such as the NUS, or even EUSA, is that they are hobbled by bureaucracy and careerism.” The Education Not for Sale group, who was behind last week’s protest, campaigns against raising the £3000 cap on top-up fees and the increasingly high fees for international students. They also aim to establish a grant for every student over 16 of at least £150 a week and a living wage for
nursing and other students who have to work as part of their course. Wednesday’s march is the latest in a string of student protests, beginning with the protests against Israeli military action in Gaza, which took place throughout the country last month. Wes Streeting, President of the NUS, has faced criticism over the NUS policy of preserving top-up fees. He contests that the economic downturn has made the prospect of the abolishing tuition fees unrealistic. Streeting said: "If the student movement gets campaigning tactics over fees wrong in 2009 there will be no chance of stopping the lifting of the cap.” In response campaigners like Katherine McMahon argue that: “Protests aren't gimmicks any more than lobbying MPs are - both are about getting attention from policy-makers, but the latter is also about drawing attention to a issue for the public too.” “If the NUS was a representative union which actually fought on the issues that it has pledged to then we wouldn’t need to protest. “As it is, we can't just wait around for them to do something while our education is ripped apart, and we still have the situation where people can't go to university because they can't afford it.”
ON THE ROAD: Students set off to the protest against tuition fees
Tuesday March 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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News 5
Ramsay pledges to redecorate KB's 'ageing cruise ship' Wanja Ochwada AT LONG last the King’s Buildings bar and the David Hume Tower basement café are going to be refurbished, after a meeting of the University Court last Monday where the University pledged £300,000 towards the effort. There is no set date, but hopes are high that construction will begin before the end of the Easter holidays. EUSA has been attempting to procure funds for the desperately needed refurbishment for quite a while now, however due to being unsure of how much funding would be made available plans for the interior have yet to be finalised. Adam Ramsay was overjoyed by the news, saying "I'm delighted that we've managed to persuade the University to give us money for this. The DHT cafe is an important academic service… this money should help us deliver a cafe where students will want to eat, study and relax." Costs for the construction due to take place at King’s Buildings, however, will be covered by EUSA. The project is expected to be finished by the exam period, and will be followed by a 'name the bar' competition for the new boozer. Adam Ramsay said, "The refurbishment of KB bar is long overdue…the current bar is getting more and more run down, and has the unavoidable feeling of an ageing cruise ship”.
A SPLASH OF COLOUR: An artist's impression of how KB House will look after it is redecorated
Newly renamed Napier University embroiled in Singapore shenanigans Guy Rughani
THE WORLD-FAMOUS NAPIER SKYLINE: The university, based in the Merchiston area of Edinburgh, is greatly in demand in south-east Asia
A SINGAPORE business college has been caught falsely advertising links with Edinburgh's Napier University, while Napier has changed its name to become a ‘worldwide player.’ The Lincoln School of Management in Singapore claimed to have educational ties with three UK universities: Napier, Coventry and the University of Central Lancashire (Uclan) in Preston. The tie with Napier supposedly allowed students studying in Singapore to continue their degrees in Scotland, despite no link ever existing between the institutions. Uclan, angry with the news said: “The University does not have, and has never had, any form of franchise arrangement or articulation agreement with the Lincoln School of Management in Singapore.” Napier commented that it would be contacting The Lincoln School to complain about the misleading use of its name. Like the other universities involved in the claims, Napier has recently boosted its overseas opera-
tions, aiming to expand and take advantage of the huge foreign demand for UK qualifications. The university has the largest international student contingent of all Scottish universities, and later this year plans to open the “Edinburgh Institute” in Hong Kong to expand its already successful research links. Despite being named by the Higher Education Statistics Agency as the top university in Scotland for Graduate Employability, in a survey it conducted itself, only 13 percent of students in England knew that Napier was in Edinburgh. On the back of this, Napier has changed its name to ‘Edinburgh Napier,’ describing the name change as key in their aim to become ‘Scotland’s leading modern university,’ and vital in maximising its overseas reputation. Cabinet Secretary for Education and Lifelong Learning, Fiona Hyslop said: “The change of name will help establish Edinburgh Napier more clearly on the worldwide map, will bolster awareness of it as an organisation, and help boost its reputation for teaching and research both within the UK and overseas.”
Tuesday March 17 2009 studentnewspaper.org
News
Brief Baby monkeys floss with human hair Female monkeys in Thailand teach their young the importance of dental hygiene by flossing with human hair. Seven long tailed macaques have been observed forcing their young to watch while they run strands of human hair between their teeth. The monkeys use the long, thin human hairs (sometimes stolen directly from the scalp) to ‘floss’ in a manner almost identical to our own morning routine, and spend twice as long flossing when in the presence of infants. Professor Nobuo Masataka of Kyoto University’s Primate was “surprised” by the finding, as teaching others how to use ‘tools’ like hair-floss was previously thought to be “carried out only by humans.”
Bar owner is scumbag, maggot Hundreds of Pogues fans were left disappointed when lead singer Shane MacGowan failed to turn up for a gig he knew nothing about. Darren Carroll, owner of the Aberdeen bar where the gig was advertised, but apparently not scheduled to take place cited 'Unforeseen Circumstances' for MacGowan's non-appearance. However, the singer was in Florida at the time, where he had a performance scheduled for the same evening. MacGowan's booking agent was adamant that "at no time have we had any communication with any venue in Aberdeen for Shane to perform there," despite Carroll advertising just such a performance on posters and local radio. Carroll has since been charged in connection with an alleged fraud, apparently unrelated to this Fairytale of Aberdeen.
Beautiful people turn ugly Auditions for the next series of popular American skinny-people show America's Next Top Model have been disrupted after spontaneous violence left six people injured and three under arrest. The show, created by supermodel/ chat show host/woeful recording artist Tyra Banks, was casting at New York's Park Central Hotel when suddenly a 'panic' erupted amid the ranks of thousands beautiful people queuing on the street to audition. Although the exact cause for the hysteria remains unclear, some have suggested that it was triggered by a BMW spewing black smoke. When someone shouted that a bomb had gone off, the crowd 'stampeded'. The situation was exacerbated when an opportunistic thief started charging through the thronging hopefuls, trying to snatch handbags. Two women and a man were arrested for disorderly conduct in connection with the incident, which left two hospitalised. JFH
New business pays top students to entertain the elderly Harriet Kay A BIZARRE mixture of social responsibility and student enterprise has culminated in the creation of Eldertainment, a business venture which requires elderly people to pay for the ‘privilege’ of talking to an articulate, well-educated student. Under the headline ‘generating friendships between young and old’ the scheme aims to be an altruistic way for students to fund their degrees. To work for Eldertainment candidates must be an undergraduate or recent graduate from a Russell Group university- with a particular drive to recruit Oxford and Cambridge alumni. They must submit a glowing CV to the website, where samples include experience of hedge-fund policy and an interest in the Arab-Israeli conflict. If selected students can then expect to earn £30 for each hour that they ‘entertain’ the elderly clientele with scintillating conversation. The company suggests that working for them could help to gild ones CV, ignoring the fundamental fact that the basic state pension stands at around £90, and furthermore that many elderly people volunteer and contribute to charity themselves- making charging for this ‘service’ very questionable indeed. The ‘brains’ behind Eldertainment are William and Heneage Ste-
Is this what happens when you don't step in and stop the elderly from entertaining themselves? venson, sons of the Lord Stevenson, former chairman of HBOS. Under their fathers chairmanship the company lost £10.8 Billion in 2008, due to unwise investment, so perhaps it’s no surprise that this enterprise makes very little financial sense.
Help the Aged’s Head of Policy, David Sinclair, called the business 'patronising'. It has especially been criticised for undermining the volunteer sector and the myriad of charities which exist for the very purpose of interacting with isolated
older people . In the light of the media criticism and sheer disbelief that it is provoked it is perhaps not surprising that the company’s website is currently unavailable due to being ‘updated.’
Trams run off track Victoria Cox
A MOCKUP tram was positioned on Princes street on 29 February, and has proved to be a popular tourist attraction . The tram, which resembles the kind of car which will be in place on the tram project’s completion, picked up 22,000 visitors in its first week, with 80 per cent reportedly giving positive feedback. The tram was due to close on 14
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This is more than likely to have had an impact on footfall coming into the store. People are just staying away from that end of Princes Street. Hazel Tierney,Operations Director for John Lewis Edinburgh
March, however Liz Parkes, who works for tram company Transdev confirmed to the Student that the tram will now be staying open on Princes Street, outside Jenners, until about Easter. However, the mock tram has had some problems, being vandalised twice on 2 March and 27 Februry. A Transdev worker confirmed that asecurity
guard had been hired to prevent further trouble. Work at Haymarket Station has seen the closure of the Haymarket car park.This is where the viaduct, which will bring the trams up to street level, is being constructed. Scotland‘s train service administrators, ScotRail, said: "Due to construction works for Edinburgh's tram service, the car park at Haymarket Station will now be closed for a further six weeks. The new opening date is Monday, April 6.” This comes after shops around Haymarket have reported losses in recent weeks. Coffee shop Beanscene has already cut back it’s opening hours, now closing at 8pm instead of 10pm. Other businesses around the city have had help from the council in dealing with the tram works. The Student spoke to Stewart Orr from Margiotta, a local convenience store. He said that deliveries were being affected as the drivers cannot get the vehicles near the shops, but who told of a ‘logistics scheme’ aimed at helping the local business’s with deliveries and keeping the area tidy. Orr said: “I can’t really fault them.” Princes Street works are seeing the road closed until end of November 2009. Upmarket retailer John Lewis became the first major store to criticize the works.Hazel Tierney, operations director for John Lewis Edinburgh, said: “The closure of Princes Street is more than likely to have had an im-
Next tram due to arrive: 2011 pact on footfall coming into the store. People are just staying away from that end of Princes Street." The Belfinger Berger dispute has been given a deadline.Belfinger Berger, a German company responsible for constructing the trams, called upon another £80 million for the project, which is already worth £512 million. This came after reports that Belfinger Berger apparently lost £80 million on a road project in Norway, however
FLICKR: MUDRICKY
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the company itself refuses to comment on the link. Crisis talks over the disputed money have been given a deadline of the 19th March, by which they must have resolved the issue or an independent adjudicator will be brought in. A TIE spokesman said "We are doing everything in our power to resolve the issues within the parameters of the ongoing dispute resolution procedure."
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Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Comment 7
Comment HAIR/HEAD - BENEDICT ROBBINS; NOSE/CHEEK/FOREHEAD - LIZ RAWLINGS; EYES/NECK/CHIN - JAMES RODGER; MOUTH/FOREHEAD - THOMAS GRAHAM; GLASSES/CHEEK - OLIVER MUNDELL; ARM/SHOULDERS - G.W. BUSH
Countdown to election day Alan Williamson takes a critical look at the promises of this year's EUSA presidential candidates
E
USA ELECTIONS are everyone’s favourite time of year, right after Christmas and Pancake Tuesday. We are being bombarded with flyers and fluorescent posters from presidential candidates claiming they will save the endangered KB bus, turn Potterow into somewhere people will actually want to spend their Saturday evenings, heal the deaf and lame, etcetera. This is all well and good, but it doesn’t answer the one question that concerns me: who are these people? Are they as friendly as their sickeningly slick campaign videos purport? Do they understand what their manifesto means, or is it just a pile of grandiose verbal diarrhoea? To answer this, I devised a little ‘social experiment’ (my apologies to any fellow psychologists gritting their teeth right now). Last Wednesday I sent a Facebook message to each of the presidential candidates, asking them about details of their manifesto that I felt were ill-considered or just plain daft. They were not informed I was writing a piece for The Student: I wanted personal replies, not copied and pasted information from their websites. Besides, two minutes of research would tell you exactly which Edinburgh-based student newspaper I write for. My first reply came from Thomas Graham within an hour of sending the messages. Clearly he is confident about his chances if he can spend all day online and not frantically campaign-
ing for our hearts and minds! My initial question to him concerned his pledge to reduce bike crime around campus. To quote myself: “What sort of measures are you going to use, besides the obvious 'get more people on the KB bus so they don't bring bikes' and 'hire Batman to defend the campus'?” Thomas’s well-written reply read like it came straight from his manifesto. That’s because it did, although subsequent replies were wholly original material. His solution to the problem of bike theft is to encourage more CCTV, safe storage and police patrols around campus. Although a recent report from the House of Lords challenged the efficacy of CCTV as a means for reducing crime, Thomas said his figures show that it has been effective locally if not nationally. I further grilled Thomas on his “Dial a Drink” scheme, in which EUSA will deliver your alcohol and collect the empties when you’re finished. Surely there is a better use of resources and staff than this? He rebutted my accusation that it would only serve to get the drunk drunker, claiming it has been a success with other unions in the past and is designed to promote responsible drinking. I was impressed with my dialogue with Mr. Graham. He defended his policies despite the obnoxious way I challenged them. Even if I don’t agree with some of his manifesto, it is at the very least well thought out and that is
to be commended. The next candidate to reply was Liz Rawlings. She replied to my long message with an equally gargantuan response. I originally described Liz’s manifesto as “ambiguous”, but her response was detailed enough to convince me that her policies do have substance beyond the vague website contents. One of the questions I posed was related to a better Director of Studies system, a popular notion among all the candidates. My DoS lectures part-time, tutors, carries out research and works as a Health Psychologist within the local community. I am sure they would not mind me saying that their DoS duties are not their first priority, nor should they be! Liz wants an overhaul of the DoS system, echoed by a new EUSA report (unpublished at the time of going to press). Her solution is a proper training programme and an emphasis on student welfare, in addition to courserelated issues, which can only be a good thing. I have long been dissatisfied with the current DoS system, but remain unconvinced that training already-busy lecturers is going to change it; good researchers do not necessarily make good teachers and the same goes for being a DoS. A novel idea in Liz’s manifesto is the use of your matriculation card as a top-up debit card for use in EUSA premises. This won’t benefit me since I don’t actually have any money to top-up
with, but could be a boon for younger students. All in all, Liz has done her homework, but her policies could prove challenging to implement.
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Who are these people? Are they as friendly as their sickeningly slick campaign videos purport? Do they understand what their manifesto means, or is it just a pile of grandiose verbal diarrhoea? Third to reply was Oliver Mundell. I asked about one of his major policies, increased DoS contact time, on which I have already elaborated on my objections. Oliver’s typo-riddled reply emphasised that this policy was practical to carry out and had been successful in the USA. He also received bonus points for referring to Psychology as a science and not a humanities subject. It was, honestly, difficult to go into detail on Oliver’s manifesto which does not appear to have been published
online as Student went to press. His policy outline reflects a common theme among candidates of tackling dodgy landlords, improving feedback and (of course) a 24-hour library. Disappointingly, I didn’t receive a reply from James Rodger or Benedict Robbins. Perhaps it could be argued that I didn’t email them directly: but honestly, where’s the fun in that? I asked Benedict about his peer-mentoring scheme, for which there seems to be little demand (or at least little awareness). As for Mr. Rodger, I find his proposal “to support student activism in all areas” somewhat disturbing. Does this apply to building occupation, militant animal-rights campaigning or anti gay rights protestors? Also, his petition for more vending machines on campus seems an effective means of reducing sales in Potterow and the beloved DHT basement shop, as well as reducing revenue that will be passed to the machine suppliers. I would have loved some clarification on these issues. The five candidates have a lot more in common than they might like to admit. Those of you looking for someone who wants to sell the KB bus for scrap and close the library are out of luck. Everyone else can rest safe in the knowledge that, whoever you vote for on Wednesday and Thursday, you’ll be able to poke them into action via Facebook. That’s what I call 21st century democracy.
Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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Grounded in reality
Calum Leslie examines the Conservatives' latest proposals to crack down on youth crime hat would life be like without W the Tories? First we were told to hug hoodies, now we’re told to
lock them up. Their latest policy boomerang is a return to, according to new Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling, “law and order based on common sense, strong families and communities and a system which places the victim above the criminal.” Very good, Mr Grayling: except I don’t see, exactly, where the justification is linked to the idea. You have to understand, though, that Grayling has several balls, or should that be balloons, to juggle. Traditional Tories demand a harder line on youth crime than some believe Cameron has been offering. They don’t like hugging anything very muchl, let alone a hoodies. Thus Grayling has come up with this little master plan: “our police should have powers to go straight to a magistrate and get an order against that [youth] troublemaker confining them to their homes for up to a month - except for during school hours.” It seems to slot neatly into the reforming David Cameron’s mantra of strong families creating a stronger Britain. Yet unusually, the traditional right-wing backbenchers will love the policy too: something the Tory leader has struggled to achieve in his over three years in the job. In fact, as a theoretical proposal, I doubt many would find it problematic. Yet as a practical solution, it is infested from head to toe in what can only be
assumed is class ignorance. Perhaps a crass definition, but nonetheless, as with so many Conservative welfare policies, this latest proposal completely misses the mark.
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Traditional Tories demand a harder line on youth crime than Cameron has been offering. They don't like hugging anything very much, let alone a hoodie. For a troublemaker from a reasonably comfortable, stable family environment - a rarity in itself - there will be little for them or anyone else to be genuinely concerned about at being confined to their home for all but school hours for four weeks. But what do we know of the sort of troublemakers that are targeted by this potential policy? Often, although not exclusively, they are from poorer backgrounds, and the reason they are out on the streets in the first place is fairly simple: their family environment is far from stable, and anything but comfortable. An abusive, violent, or unsupportive family environment is just as real
a possibility as the loving, stable and comfortable families envisioned in this policy: in fact a less stable family is in all probability, more likely, in cases producing misbehaving youths. Say an individual has grown up with a violent father and drug-abusing mother, both on social benefits. The individual, as a teenager, takes to the streets in the evening to escape from the oppressive home environment. Poor parenting and a lack of guidance have played their part, and the individual, not necessarily exempt from accountability, indulges in some form of anti-social behavior. By these Tory proposals, such behavior would confine them to the very environment that has helped produce the behavior. And this is Tory 'common sense'? How this potential scenario could benefit the individual in question escapes me. Another claim made by Grayling is that this policy would enable the system to “place the victim above the criminal.” Again, in theory, that is a highly commendable aim. Yet in these cases it is an exceptionally two dimensional view of the complex social processes that are at work in all societies. Should the individual in question find himself or herself physically abused by their father, or should they succumb to a drug addiction courtesy of their mother, as a result of their curfew, they take on a different victim status. And who is there to ensure they too are placed “above the criminal” that they have suffered at the hands of?
The Liberal Democrats have attempted to answer these problems by suggesting, “using community panels outside the formal justice system to make the punishment fit the crime and herd children away from trouble." Labour, on the other hand, claims to use “education to turn young people away from crime” and take “action to tackle re-offending, focusing on education and work.” While in Scotland, the SNP “seriously address the issues that are too often the driving force behind, but never a justification for, crime and anti-social behavior.” Not complete answers, but little talk of the family in isolation. Is this, just perhaps, because politicians from these parties more often represent,
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By these Tory proposals, such behavior would confine them to the very environment that has helped produce the behavior. And this is Tory 'common sense'? or originate from, backgrounds more aware of the social strings attached to the family as an institution? There is, of course, a danger in generalizing here. Senior elected
Conservative politicians such as David Cameron and Chris Grayling will be fully aware, especially given recent high profile cases of child abuse, that the ideal home environment is often implausible, even impossible. Likewise, drug abuse, for example, is hardly confined to low-income households: some forms of drug abuse may be less likely in higher income brackets, but not impossible. Problems exist in the whole continuum of family environments. Taking this into account, there appears to remain an uncomfortable ignorance on the part of the Tories when it comes to family-related policies. Fundamentally, Cameron’s reliance on “the family” in his social reform proposals becomes questionable. The family is important, yes. But merely offering “financial support” and “flexible maternity leave” does not justify for leaving ‘the family’– in any form – as responsible for producing good citizens. Who is to say, at the least, such resources would be used appropriately? Gordon Brown appears intent on gifting the next election to the Opposition single handedly. Yet hidden behind the glory of regaining power in the next election- and barring a flurry of further policy announcements to plug the many holes in Grayling’s plan--will be the reality: in playing the crime game, the Tories will have failed on welfare. Again.
Kicking the bucket and beyond
Jonathan Liew asks why we refuse to let the dead rest in peace
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ou may have heard of the Press Association. If you haven’t, you’ll definitely be familiar with its work. When you’re watching one of the rolling news channels and that ‘Breaking News’ banner stampedes across the screen, the one-line snippet of non-news will almost always be from PA. It’s called a snap, and is put out on the wire as soon as humanly possible. Snaps are exciting. “Ooh, what’s happening?” you wonder as soon as you espy the breaking news graphics catapulting across your TV like a kingfisher swooping for fish. “Could I truly be witness to a world-changing event like the Kennedy assassination, the Moon landings, the fall of the Berlin Wall?” I once asked my mother what I had been doing when the Berlin Wall fell. From that moment, I promised myself that never again would I experience a slice of history whilst defecating in a public place. Last Thursday, I had an eye on Sky News when some news broke. Instantly, my consciousness twitched. Intently, I waited to see what would transpire. It turned out that some old boot who used to be in Eastenders
and some sitcom back in the 1970s – and that was pretty much it – and who was dying anyway, had died. Dejectedly slumping back in my seat, I consoled my id that surely it would only be a matter of time before somebody took a shot a President Obama’s motorcade. But death, it seems, is big business. At PA, they have a file full of ready-made obituaries, which they can then wheel out before the rectum of the deceased has even had time to unclench. Ever wondered how they managed to compile a complete biography of a dead person so quickly? Some sick bastard pre-wrote the tribute while the poor dude was still breathing. That’s how. The reason the sick bastard does this is because the general public has developed a macabre fascination with death. We feast on the still-warm corpse, our voyeur’s instinct zeroing in on the human tragedy, lapping up the torment, inhaling the empty space where a human life once stood. The expiry of one process acts as a stimulus for myriad more: politicians and public figures, clambering grotesquely over each other in an attempt
to get their bite-sized tribute on the airwaves; hairdressers, cafes and internet messageboards humming with competitive grief. I knew him - well I knew him better. It wasn't always like this. Previous eras saw death as part of the eternal turmoil of the world, the universe and everything. The Victorians would weep over a lost one for a period before letting them – and the choice of words is deliberate – rest in peace. Traditionally, we characterise the Victorians as being sexually repressed. Are we not equally repressed about death? Death was simply not the irresistible totem it is today, a development that can only partially be explained by advances in medical science. The rarity of death can be argued in comparative but not absolute terms. In the crudest terms, people are still dying all the time, all over the world, and in all kinds of ways. Rather, the death fetish expresses one of mankind’s keenest fears: that of the unknown. In times past, death was simply the passage of the soul from this world to the next. The shimmering possibility bestowed by afterlife meant that death was not an end, as such, but simply a
transition. Belief in the next world offered, amid the pain of separation, hope that restitution might occur. Of course, modernity has essentially pitched that theory into a whole world of turmoil. The onset of agnosticism has sharpened the perception of death as an absolute loss, but more significantly, it has engendered the awful doubt it was intended to address. “What happens when people die?” a child will often ask of its parents. In the past, they knew. We simply don’t know any more. And so we wail and mourn away our doubt, remaking our impotent uncertainty into shapes we can articulate more confidently: artificial grief, a veneer of empathetic misery. At the same time, though, we’re peering opportunistically into the eyes of the dead, pleading with them to bestow clues. We bathe ourselves in their environment, saturate ourselves with tangential information. How did they die? When? Where? And how old? It’s like attending a crime scene which the perpetrators have long since fled. By poring over the arena they left behind, we may just find one or two of the pieces of death’s jigsaw.
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Comment 9
Face to face
gossip therapy
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Karishma Sundara stands up for social networking
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aroness Susan Greenfield, professor of synaptic pharmacology at Lincoln college, Oxford, recently suggested that the government isn’t doing enough to control the psychological impact websites like Facebook are having on the young people who use them. She blamed social-networking sites for a growing lack of empathy among young people, for shortening attention-spans, and for putting real-life conversations at risk. Discussing her fears over the ‘short attention-spans she feels such websites are developing, she said: "If the young brain is exposed from the outset to a world of fast action and reaction, of instant new screen images flashing up with the press of a key, such rapid interchange might accustom the brain to operate over such timescales." This suggested that this might spill over into the real world: "when instant responses are not immediately forthcoming, we will see such behaviors and call them attention-deficit disorder.” To put things in perspective, the only reason instant-messaging came into being was so people could have conversations almost as if they were face-to-face. But Facebook is not an instant-messaging service, and it is often several hours or even a few days before people respond to each others' posts. Facebook is not necessarily a world of ‘fast action and reaction,’ or of ‘instant new screen images flashing up all the time'. Lady Greenfield also criticised Face-
book for displacing reading as a leisure activity: "Unlike the game to rescue the princess, where the goal is to feel rewarded, the aim of reading a book is to find out more about the princess herself.' Our society, with its 'marked preference for the here-and-now", isn't interested in finding out about the Princess; we'd rather have a quick fix. But every week I get a reminder from the English Literature Society on Face-
book, reminding me to attend the next book group meeting. I’d very likely forget entirely about such events, which involve the kind of face-to-face interaction Greenfield favours (not to mention reading books) without Facebook to remind me. As far as our dwindling empathy goes, Lady Greenfield obviously hasn't heard of the variety of groups and Facebook applications - such as “Feed a Child with
Profile picture?
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a Click” - which appear to be generating greater awareness of global issues The application encourages people to click’on any of the several links to websites they provide, which lead to adverts from website sponsors. Money from advertising then goes to fund programs that help feed the starving and provides aid to the poor. Online networks like Facebook offer widespread communication of such information, and help connect millions of people. This has to be a good thing. Greenfield worries that people might soon find screen communication preferable to an actual conversation. This has the ring of truth - but only where certain online "friends" are concerned. Everyone has at least a few people on their friend list they don’t really like. Facebook provides an opportunity to have short, inoffensive exchange with these people. You avoid the tediousness of a real conversation and can remain civil. But as for Greenfield's notion that people will stay home behind a computer screen for fear that real-life conversations might be uncomfortable, I’d like to point out that our streets are not deserted and that social gatherings are still taking place. When I walk into coffee shops or restaurants, I don’t find empty rooms, or the dismal presence of a solitary few. Instead it's increasingly hard to find an empty table - which may not make me very happy but helps to prove my point. I'd wager that most of the people thronging these rooms are Facebook users; but that hasn’t stopped them from communicating with each other face-to-face. In fact, I’d be at a loss to recall a time when I haven’t seen a post on either my wall or a friend’s suggesting we ‘should meet soon and catch up’. "Catching-up", it seems, remains something that can only happen in the real world. Our lives have become so busy that free time is what’s most hard to come by. Distance, lack of time, combined with the inconvenient human need for sleep, make meeting with people difficult. In such cases Facebook provides an alternative means of communication. The conversations aren’t often very long, but it's a way of saying hello, or asking how someone’s day was - remaining a presence, albeit a small one, in somebody's life. How else would be it possible to simply communicate a short message to a friend living in another country? I could send a letter, or an email, but Facebook allows you to say a mere few words - "I miss you" - without seeming cursory or ridiculous. While Greenfield argues that she fears, "real conversation in real time may eventually give way to these sanitized and easier screen dialogues, in much the same way as killing, skinning and butchering an animal to eat has been replaced by the convenience of packages of meat on the supermarket shelf,” I’d have to say: man will remain a social animal, and people will never stop having conversations. The prospect is impossible when our everyday lives require us to interact with people. At school, at work, out shopping, we are constantly confronted by other people and the need to interact with them. The existence of online and televised news hasn't yet made physical newspapers extinct. Likewise, real-time conversation is in no threat of extinction - partly thanks to social-networking sites like Facebook, which as well as providing an alternative means of communication, makes arranging real-world meetings a bit easier.
ach week the BBC brings me information that pushes me closer to suicide: depressing forecasts of the country’s economy, wars that leave innocent women and children maimed, and countless soldiers dead, have all started to put a bit of a downer on my days. So much so that I find myself doing some very despicable things on the Internet in an attempt to pick up my mood. Get your minds out of the gutters and no, I am not watching “Death by peanut butter” on Youtube (although I should because it’s hilarious). Instead I find myself deviating from the important official things I use the Internet for, I cannot at this moment think of any but I know there must be some, onto celebrity blog websites – please, try not to judge me.
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Celebrities with their idiotic experiences and dramatic life stories are the only 'uplifting news' this world seems to offer" Oh No They Didn’t and Perez Hilton are where I find what I’m looking for: ONTD offers me international gossip with an up-and-coming section on Korean celebrities, while Perez gives me American and English celebrity gossip with the added bonus of his cut-throat opinion. There is also the lesser-known The Superficial written by a blatant male chauvinist who apparently has a soft spot for women with big…smiles. My dignity dismantled, it still hurts me to further confess that I once deigned to visit a local blog-site that has recently been shut down. I needn’t give it credence in mentioning it by name, instead I shall only reveal that this website professes to report on the not-so rich and famous lives of “Edinburgh’s elite”. I shall not compliment nor condemn the website: they are simply doing what other blog sites do, only on a smaller, pettier scale. In any case boredom and the constant bombardment of bad news cajole me, almost daily, into visiting these sights. As sick as it sounds, celebrities with their idiotic experiences and dramatic life stories are the only uplifting “news” this bleak world seems to offer in this day and age. Maybe we don’t all share in their ups and downs, perhaps what most of us have is the classic case of finding joy in someone else’s plight-we get a kick out of it. Perez Hilton is constantly reporting that his website is getting record hits, and almost everyone I speak to has heard about Rihanna and Chris Brown’s violent encounter so obviously I am not the only one who has a fascination with celebrity gossip. And why not? It’s shameless, it’s disgusting and it’s fun—a combination that has never stopped anyone from doing what they want to in the past, so why should it stop us now? I don’t want to know about how many people are losing their jobs, or read about hippies holding a sitin in one of my lecture halls to try and end a war, nor do I care about workers strikes or corrupt MPs. I would rather read about Britney and Lindsay ‘the lesbian’ Lohan, or Jessica ‘cake’ Simpson, and I am no longer ashamed to admit it. So to all you undercover bloggers and blog readers hiding in the closet of gossips and lies I say blog on comrades, blog on! Wanja Ochwada
Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith the Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole. Editors Ed Ballard/Lyle Brennan News Neil Pooran/James Eellingworth Senior News Writers Guy Rughani/Anna MacSwan/ Anne Miller Comment Mairi Gordon Features Jonathan Holmes/Rosie Nolan/Lee Bunce/Catherine McGloin Tontine Julia Sanches/Geoff Arner/Hannah Rastall Lifestyle Kimberlee McLaughlan/Maddie Waalder Culture Emma Murray/Hannah Ramsey/Rachel Williams Music Andrew Chadwick/Jonny Stockford Film Tom MacDonald/Sam Karasiik TV Fern Brady/Susan Robinson Tech Alan Williamson/Craig Wilson Sport Martin Domin/Misa Klimes Copy Editing Eleanor McKeegan/Wanja Ochwada/Karishma Sundara Design Arvind Thillaisundaram Illustrations Genevieve Ryan/ Henry Birkbeck Photography Calum Toogood/ Julia Sanches Website Jack Schofield President Neil Pooran Secretary Rachel Hunt Treasurer Madeleine Rijnja
Advertising Tony Foster 0131 650 9189 Student Newspaper 60 Pleasance Edinburgh EH8 9TJ editors@studentnewspaper.org Correction: In last week's issue (24 Feb 2009), Zeenath ul Islam was listed as an illustrator and as editor of the Comment section. She held neither position at the time of publication and should not have been credited as such. Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites, but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © Student Newspaper Society. All rights reserved. No section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the Student Newspaper Society, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Distributed by Lothian Couriers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar EH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860115. Printed by Cumbrian Newsprint (part of the CN Group), Carlisle Print Centre, Newspaper House, Dalston Road, Cumbria CA2 5UA, on Tuesday March 3 2009. Tel: 01228 612600. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.
Overheard Your Letters EUSA HARDSHIP FUNDS sabbatical and hopefuls' unimpressed W £20k question
arlier this week, the Student asked E the EUSA presidential candidates whether they would accept lower
wages than the Sabbaticals of recent years, in light of the uncertainty facing graduates - to many of whom the Sabbaticals' salaries (around £20,000), must seem decidedly attractive. We got a mixed response. Oliver Mundell consented immediately, enthusiastically deciding to reduce his own salary to the figure of £7,000 which was recently mooted as the minimum income that students could be expected to live on. Not to be outdone, the charitable Benedict Robbins went one better. Being president is an act of service, he said: he would work for free. Obvious, when you think about it. This briefly left open the intriguing possibility that the president (whoever that might turn out to be) would be earning much less than the various vice-presidents (surely the president's rightful underlings). Nobody bothered to ask the six candidates for those posts (we forgot), so they were mercifully spared from this outbreak of solidarity. In any case, the plans were quietly put on the backburner. Liz Rawlings said she'd consider diminishing her wage to the average graduate salary, but James Rodger and Thomas Graham declined to give an opinion. Most likely the sabbatical salaries will continue to be determined in relation to the funding given to postgraduates, as they have been. Quite right too. There's no reason that the sabbaticals should punish themselves just because there's a recession on. What's more, reducing this financial reward will further diminish the already-low number of candidates for these posts, and will discourage poorer students from applying for them.
hat with it being EUSA election week, we can pretty much guarantee you'll have at least one person indirectly chastise you for your apathetic attitude towards student politics. Keep your ears open, though, and you'll soon realise that the spirit of campus democracy is alive and well; consider the following transcript of a conversation between two students in the Main Library café, overheard as they read last week's General Meeting coverage: -Look at this, this is such shit. Just a hundred people show up. -More like 200.
-Just a few fucking people talking about stupid shit. -Yeah.
-See, they had a motion for free squash courts. -Yeah - but I’d have voted for that if I’d known about it.
-Yeah, me too, that’d be awesome... They’re debating all this pointless stuff though, KB bar and stuff... who gives a fuck? It’s like that Adam Ramsay. -Who’s that?
-He got elected, didn’t he?
-What, that guy last week?
-Nah that was some other guy. Adam Ramsay’s the, the rector. He got elected last year. He gets like 25 grand, but he’s a fucking hippie. -Ah right.
-They should give people free coffee. If I was president, I’d have free coffee in EUSA bars for every student. -Yeah - and tea.
-Yeah. But they discuss such boring shit. And look at 'em - they’re all fucking geeks. -Yeah.
-EUSA’s shit, they should shut it all down and start again. Face it: it’s just a bunch of homosexuals led by a fucking hippie.
I am responding to your article last week on university hardship funds, which I found to be misleading. The survey, which Claire Baker MSP conducted, was carried out in early November 2008 and only consisted of discretionary fund data for UK students from the start of this current academic session to the end of October 2008. Your article is therefore based on three months’ worth of applications and does not give an accurate picture of the financial assistance offered to students this session. Since this session began the University has assisted 474 students from the discretionary fund and allocated funds of £543,337 (compared to 415 students in 2007-2008 and funding of £397,700). Funds have also assisted students with accommodation costs, and diagnostic assessment costs mainly for dyslexic students. In total the University has allocated 80% of this year’s total allocation, compared with 62% from the same period last year. With 5 months of this session remaining, and students continuing to experience financial difficulties, there is no question of the University of Edinburgh not spending all of its discretionary funding. Your article quotes Guy Bromley who asks the University to publicise the availability of these funds more widely. The Scholarships and Student Finance Office reviews the discretionary funding each month and promotes the availability of these funds to targeted groups of students throughout the year. Two weeks ago we emailed 15,364 students informing them of this non-repayable financial assistance and provided a link to info on on eligibility criteria and how students can apply. This can be found at: www.scholarships.ed.ac.uk/financial/ hardship/discretionary.htm I would like to reassure students of Edinburgh University that the University makes every effort to publicise the discretionary funds and to ensure that those most in need receive financial assistance. The Scholarships and Student Finance Office works very closely with Advice Place staff who play an important role in guiding students through the application process. Robert Lawrie Head of Scholarships and Student Finance
studentnewspaper.org Tuesday March 03 2009
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The podium problem
Claire Jarvis, Debates Union secretary, debunks the horror of addressing an audience, and urges you to nurture your inner ranting. people, to make them laugh and understand wins you a lot of recognition and respect. But how does one perfect this charismatic CV-saviour when chatting amiably in front of the bathroom mirror just won't cut the mustard? Step forward the art of debating. It allows you - through a defined format of teams arguing on two sides of an issue– to develop your argumentation, style and quick-thinking. You are welcome to dip into it to learn the basics, or else (as so many have before) to get drawn into it as a competitive sport and travel the country pursuing it. Members of the Edinburgh Debate Union, our university's long-established debating society, are eager to share their wide-ranging motivations for joining, as well as their success stories, and anecdotes. One of the valued members of the Committee likes nothing more than to tell freshers
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here's two things to do with public speaking that I'm sure about. The first is that employers are crazy for it. The second is that everybody appears to be terrified of it. Speaking in public makes the Top 10 Fears for most individuals and in large scale surveys. The average person has little problem talking to their friends about their thoughts and ideas, little problem chatting to strangers about the weather, little problem speaking to experts for guidance – but when these individuals turn into an attentive audience the situation suddenly becomes impossible. Sufferers cite attacks of nerves before they even open their mouths. They mumble quietly. They talk too fast. Even simple speech is a challenge. But why are fluent, articulate people transformed in this way? All that's changed is the number of people paying attention. Your average student has a life filled with daunting hassles, such as unwritten essays due tomorrow and exams where the path between pass and fail is tentatively trod. All of these obstacles are usually tackled with reluctant apprehension, but nothing strikes more dread into this average student’s heart than the realisation that they must prepare a presentation for their peers. Why does Public Speaking cause
such extreme emotion? It is regularly ranked as being as scary as death. This seems strange, because at least you know what happens after a public speech. It doesn’t involve any physical pain, and it
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Public speaking is regularly ranked as being as scary as death" takes up relatively little time and energy when applied correctly. There are many causes of phobias. The attitudes of society and close kin can play a conditioning role; if a child watches mummy show fear upon the sight of a spider, they are likely to eventually associate spiders with fear. It might be a more difficult path of association, when an object gains negative connotations at an impressionable age. Another reason, particularly relevant to public speaking, is avoidance. Opportunities to turn down public speeches are more prevalent than situations where you have no choice in the matter. Thus, a simple dislike or awkwardness can grow in intensity because avoidance allows your imagination to go wild.
In most scenarios, people make little effort to overcome their common phobias if they do not actively cripple their daily routine. However, a fear of public speaking can do damage in more subtle ways, and it is an aversion that most people wish they could overcome. Almost without variation, job descriptions will contain a specification for Communication Skills, with the only quibble being whether these communication skills should be ‘Excellent’ or just ‘Good’. Employers need employees who can speak in public. They need people who are unafraid of presenting themselves, their ideas and their company. Even the most reclusive researchers and dullards in offices will occasionally need to account for themselves to their bosses. And when they do, the impression they make is vital. You may well think that public speaking serves these bosses no other purpose than the merciless torture of their staff. Yet, once you peer across the horrific chasm of angst into the serene valley on the other side, it soon becomes evident that speaking up for yourself really does have its advantages. For starters, it suddenly gifts you with confidence: confidence to talk to anybody, in any circumstances, about anything. Being able to persuade
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You may think that public speaking serves those bosses no other purpose than to mercilessly torture their staff" about her first few weeks in the Union when she refused to open her mouth, even to make small-talk. One year on and she has fully embraced her inner ranting. Another success story is that of a lass who’d never debated before, giving up mid-speech because she felt overwhelmed. That was only a few months before she found herself in the final of two freshers' competitions. So, how could debating enable you to unleash the uninhibited loudmouth within? Basically, through tackling the root causes of this fear that I have already mentioned: Worried about other people's attitudes? All the senior members of the Debating Union have been there already and know exactly what it is like to stand up in public and face their demons, thus the whole culture of debating is one where you just go for it and do your best. It is, unfortunately, true that when you are speaking, just about anything could happen. You might lose your place in the notes or you might be unable to think up a good argument
just when you need one. Absolutely no one will judge you or laugh. Things have happened in speeches that still cause members of the EDU to wince, but they come back because they know that there is no reason to connect public speaking with social rejection or unpleasant consequences. If you are unwilling to speak then EDU will happily let you watch a debate or two. But they're unlikely to stop nudging until you at least give it a go, at which point you’ll be delightfully surprised at how easy it is. So, conquer one of your ,j gkm fears while it's still manageable. You’ll be amazed at what it does for you.
Common Myths About Debating 1. “Only lawyers do it"
- While debating is useful to those pursuing a career in law, and while legal knowledge does lend itself to some debates; those from other disciplines are very welcome, especially because they enrich and broaden the topic.
2. “It requires you to know lots and lots”
- In reality, debating is more often about the principles behind a certain issue. For instance, when arguing over the smoking ban you do not need to be able to recite whole NHS reports, but you can win the debate if you are able to explain why the government should or should not intervene in what is essentially a private act.
3. “It’s boring.”
The whole purpose of debating is to engage and entertain your audience to achieve victory. While some of the topics we discuss are serious, there is ample scope for using wit and humour to help get your points across. Claire Jarvis: Secretary, Edinburgh Debates Union Debating Workshops: Mon (7.15 for 7.30pm),Old College basement.
Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
12
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Magazine: Features
If you go
The Weighty Issue Just off the A701, down a legal B-Road and up a tree, Marielle Segarra discovers a community of pot-smoking, rubbish-eating, head-banging moral crusaders. Just don't call them hippies. B
ilston Glen is tucked away in the woods seven miles south of Edinburgh, a straight shot if you hop on the number 37 bus from Nicholson Street and get off across the street from a Volkswagen car dealership. Past a small metal gate on the side of A701, a meandering dirt road leads to a graffiti-covered bridge and a steep set of mud stairs. Up ahead, wooden boxes and green tarp tents rest high up in the trees of the Bilston Glen, one of the last surviving greenbelt areas in the UK. Four men sit on a set of dirty couches crowded around a firepit, shielded from the elements by a leaky tarp. “The war machine spins round and round,” one man sings as he strums his guitar. Next to him, another man roasts a croissant on the fire – a croissant that according to the Glen’s residents, he most likely uncovered in a skip in the back of a supermaket. The residents of the woods look like stereotypical hippies – they smoke pot, they climb trees, they’re freeganists – people who salvage leftover food from the dumpsters behind restaurants
and markets in order to prevent waste and help the environment. They’re even willing to chain themselves to cement to protest corporate and governmental intiatives. But make no mistake about it, the activists living in Bilston Glen are not hippies. They’ll be the first to tell you that they’re anarchists, not communists. Death metal enthusiasts, not psychadelicrock-singing idealists. Products of the British Punk-Rock Era. But the residents of Bilston Glen do have one great big cause. They’re blocking a road. In typical punk rock fashion, these activists are sticking it to the man – one greenbelt at a time. For almost seven years, people have come and gone through these woods in an effort to protest a Midlothian Council intiative to build a new road, A720, parallel to the existing A701 and directly through the woods of Bilston Glen.
The Land Bilston Glen is owned by the University of Edinburgh and is a greenbelt area
and a “Site of Special Scientific Interest.” The area is set aside as wild, natural forest land. Along with the Bilston activists, deer, squirrels, badgers, birds, and other creatures
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Form tribes. Take land. Destroy capitalism." call the ancient woodland area home. Kara, a Bilston site resident, says building a road through the greenbelt area will not only generate more traffic, but will also needlessly destroy animal habitats and forestland. Animals that live in the woods “can’t just take the bus to get from one territory to another,” she says. Though Bilston Glen is protected by its greenbelt status, Jim Gilfillan, a strategic services consultant for the Midlothian Council, says the Council has “safeguarded” the area, setting it aside for the road’s construction.
The Plan Representatives from the Midlothian Council say the new road would help alleviate traffic by creating more room on the old road for improved public transportation and for people who want to walk or cycle. Gilfillan says the bus lanes on A701 are delayed by existing cars, and the Council hopes the new road will help to create a fast, efficient transportation system between Edinburgh and Penny Cook. “We can’t build our way out of congestion” But some say the new road is – at best – a short-term solution with negative long-term effects. Richard George is the roads and climate campaigner for the Campaign for Better Transport, a charity that seeks to make public transportation cheaper and more available and to encourage residents to walk and cycle. He heads what used to be called “Roadblock,” a support group for local residents fighting road building. Though George has not worked specifically with Bilston Glen, he says he sympathizes with its residents.
George cites a “fairly hefty research document” by the Department for Transport’s Standing Advisory Committee on Trunk Road assessment. The Committee found that almost every time the government built a new road, traffic volume eventually increased and filled the road to capacity. It comes down to people’s driving psychology, George says. If traffic is heavy, people might stay home rather than go to the store, wait for neighbor to go shopping, or order on the Internet. When traffic gets better, people travel farther and more often. And the bigger the road, the less traffic there is and the more room there is for traveling. One example comes from London. The government added a third lane to the M25 London Orbital Motorway, increasing its capacity by one-third. Within a year, there was a third more traffic, George says. “If something’s easy, people do it more and if it’s difficult people will do it less,” he says. Perhaps George and the activists have more in common with the Council than
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Arts & Features 13
o down to the woods today...
they think. Gilfillan says the government must make public transportation “more
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These activists are sticking it to the man: one greenbelt at a time" attractive, quicker, and easier to use” to lessen the number of cars on the road. But building the new road is the best way to accomplish this goal, he says. At the moment, the corridor is “not very attrctive” for cycling, and the traffic often makes buses 10 to 20 minutes late, Gilfillan says. These kinks in public transport could be forcing people to use cars. George agrees that, “people are often locked into car-dependent travel because of an absence of public transport.” But the solution, he says, is for the government to spend the money it would have spent building roads on directly improving public transportation to persuade people off the roads in the long term. “Tearing through greenbelt is a fairly permanent and a fairly disruptive solution in the long run, especially if it
doesn’t solve the problem of traffic,” he says.
The Law Kara, Jack, and many of the other
residents say they have not been asked to leave by the University yet, and they will stay on the land until they are evicted or given a court order to leave. According to University of Edinburgh Professor Colin Munro, the legality of the protest site is unclear. In theory, Munro says, people have a right to walk over land in Scotland as long as they are respecting owners’ privacy. Certain areas, such as military and royal land, are restricted. But residents living on land owned by another person or organization, are “more likely to run into legal difficulties,” he says. “The remedies are largely civil,” he adds, “which leaves it up to the landowner to enforce them if they want to.” Although University spokesman Norval Scott said it was difficult for the University to comment further on the protest site, he sent the Student the following statement: “The University attaches great importance to freedom of speech as long as points of view are put across in a safe and lawful way. But as a major business and employer, we are also working with Midlothian council and the Scottish Executive to ensure transportation links are built to support local development.”
“No money, no stress, no police” The Bilston Glen Protest Site is covered in seven years worth of graffiti. “Form tribes, take land, destroy capitalism,” one wall under the bridge says. “No money, no stress, no police,” another reads.
But the activists may have to face police force sooner or later. And for most of them, who have living outdoors at protest sites for 10 to 20 years, eviction comes as sort of a climax. They’ve been building up their defenses recently, Jack says, because they “have a feeling they will get evicted by the end of the year.” Eviction is expensive, he says, and may
be a disincentive to road building. So even if the government evicts them, the cost could be prohibitive the next time around. And although he has been doing this for 15 years, Jack has always managed to be out of town when protesters have gotten evicted from his sites. He hopes to be around this time. Besides, he says. The activists “kind of enjoy it.”
Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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14 Features
The Weighty Issue
Jen Bowden looks at the problem of obesity in 21st century Britain government Foresight report A released in January stated that 90% of all children will be obese by 2050, a
problem that could cost the taxpayer a neat £50 billion. New initiatives are being put forward, but will they help to prevent a continuation of the current obesity crisis? Firstly, the above figure spans forty years. The prediction might be accurate as an extrapolation from current trends, but who can tell where the British public will be in over four decades, or what the situation will be? The high percentage successfully shocks us by linking our impending doom to a specific date, but 2050 is a while away. In terms of changing our eating habits, rather than scaring the public into change, the government should be showing how we can prevent predictions like this from becoming facts. Obesity is a problem in Britain; however, many people are unaware of the problems the country faces, as most figures aren’t publicised other than on government websites. This is where the media come in. Without the scaremongering in magazines, newspapers and now even speciality TV programmes s������� uch as Channel ��������������� Four’s Supersize vs Superskinny and Jamie’s School Dinners, obesity wouldn’t be such a high agenda problem. So what is obesity and how serious an issue is it? According to the medical definition, anyone with a BMI (Body Mass Index) of over 30 is considered obese; in West Scotland childhood obesity rates among 4-6 year-olds are among the highest, with the whole area beating the national average of 20% in 2007-8. Although obesity is not a new phenomenon, figures like this
imply that danger is imminent. But actually, initiatives have been in place to prevent continued rising obesity levels for some time now. The government seems to be concerned with the impact this could have on future generations, which is seemingly why most anti-obesity campaigns are now aimed at the family rather than a specific age
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In West Scotland, childhood obesity rates among 4-6 year olds are among the highest, with the whole area beating the national average of 20% in 2007-08" group. So, what options are available for those looking to combat obesity, and what new measures are being put in place for 2009? Supermarkets have been offering lower prices on fruit and veg in an attempt to encourage customers towards choosing a healthier diet. Many provide recipes for healthier meals or tips on snacks, while even many ‘unhealthy’ products such as crisps have modified their recipes to include reduced quantities of fat and salt in an attempt to attract people to a healthier lifestyle. The Food Standards Agency (FSA) say that reducing levels of fat intake by 20% would save about 3,500 deaths a year. But, according to the Guardian, the average Briton’s calorie intake is one
seventh fat, a figure that scientists say is still too high. Recently the FSA took a poll of 2000 people asking if they would like to see Guideline Daily Amount information boxes on fast-food packaging and restaurant menus. The answer was a resounding 85% yes. But a further question is whether this will actually have any effect on what people buy and eat. The Student asked a selection of people whether seeing nutritional information on food has put them off eating or buying a specific product; 39% said yes, but 61% said no. So, why bother? Why do so many people want to have calorie counts placed on fast food boxes and menus if they’re just going to ignore them? This opens up one of the many debates about obesity; who, if anyone, is to blame? Whether it is the responsibility of the individual, or a moral duty of the manufacturer themselves is a question bandied about with no definite response. Opinion is divided, with some claiming that the onus is on food companies to market their products sensibly, while others argue that it lies with the people who allow themselves to over-indulge on high calorie food. Nevertheless, in the next six months the FSA plan to put calorie counts on take-away food, with Pizza Hut being one of the first to take part in the scheme. The FSA has even released a list of foods which it feels we should eat less often, including meat pies, sausages, hard cheese, butter, lard, pastry, cakes and various creams. In their eyes it’s common sense: reduce fats and salts, and reduce your weight. But the answer is often not that simple. It returns once more to the question of responsibility. Only we can decide what to eat and whether to disregard the effect it will
have on our bodies. In the case of children, the responsibility lies in the hands of parents. Parents make meals for children, including packed lunches, and it is up to the parent to decide whether to allow their child to be a part of healthier school meals which are now in place across most of the country. It comes back to the central idea that children are the next generation, and,
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The Student asked people whether seeing nutritional information on food put them off buying a product. 61% said no, so why bother?" if their standards are lax when it comes to meals, then the decline - or expand - slowly into obesity. Solutions, are being constantly promoted by the government and food companies. Everything above is considered as ways to solving the obesity problem; calorie counts, shocking statistics and fitness. There are, however, some alternatives which haven’t been widely considered. A theory called the ‘Protein Leverage Hypothesis’ is being developed by Professor Stephen Simpson in the University of Sydney. His �������������� theory is surprisingly simple. Instead of concentrating on what is bad for us, such as fats and salt, we focus on what is good, argued as protein in this case, and simply increase it.�������������������������� His idea is still in the testing stages but promises to be one of
the many new developments that could prevent an obesity epidemic spreading to the point where the government's predicted figures become true. But Britain has a history of trying solutions that promise to be fast but not necessarily effective. Recently weight loss pills in particular have been attracting media attention. Surprisingly, this is far from another quick-fix solution. According to experts, the pill can only assist in weight loss if the diet and lifestyle of the person concerned is also changed. The argument is that it is not a miracle drug that will prevent weight gain or get rid of excess weight at the drop of a hat. This pill will apparently be available without prescription from pharmacies across Britain from as little as one pound, but will only be sold to those with a BMI of 28 or more. It was confirmed that it could be sold in all 27 EU countries, meaning a tidy profit for pharmaceutical giant GlaxoSmithKline, which has apparently already made £75 million from the drug in America alone. All of the above cases, propositions and statistics provide almost too much information to - ahem - digest. But the unfortunate truth is that the problem of obesity is one that the UK is going to have to deal with. The recurring theme seems to be that dietary awareness and sensitivity are key to combating obesity. So maybe we can simplify it thus: forget the fact that your work/school has lifts and use the stairs. Eat crisps every so often but as part of a "healthy balanced lifestyle". Don't pay too much heed to hysterical government stats. By using the facts available and combining them with our own common sense, the UK will be slimline in no time.
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Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Lifestyle 15
La vie en rose
FASHION
After a few months back in Edinburgh, John Sannaee finds himself pining for French uni life
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he thought of life in France evokes many a cliché: drinking wine in pavement cafés, delectable haute cuisine every night of the week, seemingly endless summers in beautiful countryside, art and culture at every turn... while there might be some truth in this idyllic view of Britain’s favourite holiday destination, the reality of life in France, for a student at least, is somewhat different. I spent the last academic year as an ERASMUS student at Stendhal University in Grenoble, a city in the French Alps. Grenoble is about the size of Edinburgh; and numbering over 60,000, its student population is also roughly equivalent. But in terms of the university experience and student lifestyle, parallels between the two cities are few. For a start, most students in Grenoble actually come from the city and the surrounding area. It was weeks before I met anyone – international students aside – that came from further away than Lyon or the north of Provence. More tellingly, most students would return home almost every weekend – and the weekend often meant Thursday evening until Monday morning. What is more, our student lifestyle is one that is characterised by a higher level of freedom that that of most French students. The move away from home that is so central to the British student experience is only half-realised in France. There can be no breaking away, no true development of independence (and yes, no crazy, alcohol-fuelled lifestyle) if university is treated simply as an activity conducted on weekdays followed by a return to the family home for several days a week. This is not to say that French students do not mature at all, or that their lives lack interest and socialising – French students do, of course, make friends at university. The difference is that, for many, the core of their social life remains with their old friends in their home towns.
Students work hard during the week, rarely going out, in order to have their weekends as leisure time. A consequence of this was library opening hours that did not tally with the usual studying habits of many of my international student friends and me; we were used to de-
camping to the library for Saturday afternoon and most of Sunday and were horrified to learn that the University Library opened until only 7pm on weekdays (despite lectures and seminars that ran to 7:30pm), and closed at noon on Saturday until Monday morning. Not a problem if you head home on Thursday or Friday, but not easy to adjust to after Edinburgh. Of course, the attitude to University and student life that I have just described isn't applicable to all French
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Shouldn't we drink for pleasure and taste, not merely to achieve maximum intoxication?" students, and it would be unfair to tar everyone with the same brush. Just as no two British students have the same ideas about or experiences of student life in this country, no two French students do either. There are a significant, if far smaller, number of students in France who decide to go to University in a different part of the country, and among those who stay close to home, many do enjoy partying (if less frenetically and frequently, perhaps, than we do) and some stay in town for weekends. In terms of alcohol, the French enjoy
it a little differently. It is not that they do not like to drink – this is a country of fine wine, after all – but they pace themselves; they drink to relax and socialise, and then most head home at the point which the archetypal British student would down a couple of doubles and head for the nearest club. This is perhaps linked to the weather. After the harsh Alpine winters - and the bars filled up with students spilling out of bars and cafés in the evening, and the park in the centre of town became a centre of social life, with people sitting around chatting, playing music, and drinking - I found myself thinking that maybe the French were on to something. After all, shouldn't we drink for pleasure and taste, not merely as a method of achieving maximum intoxication? Going hand-in-hand with drinking attitudes is a more conservative attitude to sex. In sometimes savagely cold Grenoble, practical dressing takes priority over fashion, but even in stylish Lyon and Montpellier, girls’ clothing is far less revealing. On one of my first nights out in Grenoble, female friends of mine were met with looks of shock and disgust from many French girls and overt lechery from the men for their choices of short skirts and heels – outfits at which nobody in the UK would bat an eyelid. This led me to think about just how sex-orientated our culture is, with multiple one-night stands being an accepted part of
the student experience. For whatever reason, this is not the case in France – of course, there are those who sleep around, but they are a comparatively tiny minority, and the idea of ‘pulling’ is foreign to a culture based around long-term relationships. Everyone I spoke to seemed to have a girlfriend or boyfriend, often the same one they had through high school, and a kiss on a night out was seen by many as a tacit entry into a relationship, and not just a bit of casual fun. It is easy for us to ridicule this and other French attitudes, but it begs the question of how sex became detached from romance in our culture, and why such a central part of British student lifestyle is living for instant sensual gratification – be it through sex, alcohol or drugs – when across the channel millions are happy living a simpler, cheaper and less potentially damaging existence. I have enjoyed my sometimes erroneous rite-of-passage through the British university system – but are we actually gaining anything over French students at the end of it? That is a question we have to answer for ourselves.
FASHION WEEK TRENDS CELEBRATING 25 years of fashion, London Autumn-Winter 2009 had some exciting aces up its sleeve, with Twenty8Twelve (Sienna Miller’s clothing label, which she designs with sister Savannah) showing for the first time, as well as Central St Martin’s David Koma deservedly scooping the Harrods Design Award. In New York, Lindsay Lohan and 90210’s Jessica Stroup displayed a commendable omnipresence at Bryant Park. Highlights and key trends include off-acid colours, as seen at Betty Jackson, in addition to the key autumnal palette, with quartz and oceanic blues as seen in the more established houses. The key trend of A/W 2008, jewelled toned luxe fabrics, are still hot on the catwalks of Proenza Schouler and Oscar De La Renta. For those who prefer the edgier sci-fi, techno-folk look which prevailed in the ‘hip’ designers such as Narcisco Rodriguez and Ashish, there are also plenty of options. The zebra print wedges of the latter, in particular, are fun while at the same time fashion-forward. Metallics, sequins and embellishment ensured that even simpler looks had something distinctly high fashion about them. Christopher Kane’s clean graphic lines and clever manipulation of fabric screamed sophistication and sexiness. Richard Nicoll did also did clean lines and beautifully striking silhouettes. Finally, the heavenly bronze and dirty silver displayed at Max Azira’s Herve Leger were breathtaking, with the signature bandage dress being updated for A/W. Structure, though not the extent of SpringSumer’s 80s-throwback shoulder pad still played a key role, with the softer volume being showcased best at Rodarte. Voluminous sleeves and Cocoon shaped coats at Graeme Black were simple yet interesting, in the typical winter fabrics, including that staple of A/W, cashmere. The element of fun also prevailed, with Luella and Vivienne Westwood Red Label’s school blazers, as well as the Central St Martin’s graduate show, providing the breath of fresh air and ‘wow’ factor which is expected of both New York and London fashion weeks. While Paris haute couture may produce works of art which are undoubtedly mesmerising in themselves, it is in ready-to-wear shows of London and New York where experimentation can be financially successful.
ILLUSTRATION: GENEVIEVE RYAN
Emma Leah Segal
Christopher Kane Collections
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Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Review 17
TV
Mrs Thatcher, are you trying to seduce me?
James Ellingworth finds that there are those who quite enjoy being under the heel of an Iron Lady
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IRON LADY: Is it handbags at dawn for Maggie?
rime Minister, you look to die for,” the voiceover purrs as the camera lingers on Maggie’s lips in a manner that suggests this BBC drama will be something along the lines of an M&S advert: “This is no ordinary Iron Lady...” With the acting somewhere between Elizabeth I and Lady Macbeth, even wearing a ruff at one stage, Margaret veers between reviling Thatcher for her politics and worshipping her as a sex symbol, a feared but desired dominatrix of the right wing. A two-hour drama about a 1990 Conservative party leadership contest might not seem like automatically riveting viewing, but this portrait of the downfall of a uniquely polarising figure is compelling, despite some heavy-handed treatment and occasional ridiculous moments, including a string of brutal verbal assaults on opponents, and some slightly clumsy attempts to show her vulnerability. Not only does she break down as she announces her resignation to the Cabinet, there is also a bizarre scene with an awkward attempt at psychological analysis of a phrase she uttered during her resignation, “It’s a funny old world”, producing the following awful pseudo-Freudian dialogue: “I was Daddy’s but not Daddy’s girl, do you see? That’s what they laugh at now isn’t it? Me as a man. That’s funny
Domestic disturbance
Rachel Hunt welcomes back Desperate Housewives after a winter break
STAY AT HOME: Tena Lady have opted for rather more glamorous models for their new campaign ‘IT IS an awful thing to live in the dark’. Indeed it is. However, fear not, enlightenment is within your reach. After a winter break, the residents of Wisteria Lane have returned to bring a little light into our lives, opening as ever with the eternal wisdom of Mary Alice Young. Think of her as your guide, always at hand to summarise the trials and tribulations which befall those on the other side of that white picket fence into one easily digestible moral per episode. It is perhaps important to note that all this suburbia did prove a little too much for Mary Alice: she topped herself long ago. Nevertheless, she stuck around to narrate the lives of her neighbours and ‘look beyond the shiny kitchen surface’. So we have rejoined them midway through their fifth season. However, with viewing figures falling ten million short of those for series one, possibly
it is time for us to follow Mary Alice’s lead and remove ourselves from the tangled plot lines of Wisteria Lane. As the street has already seen not only its fair share of births, deaths and marriages but suicide, cancer, fires, murders, car crashes, divorce, tornadoes, extramarital affairs and teenage pregnancies, the barrel would seem to be almost empty. Except, that is, for the five year leap forward in time. Not forgetting the blind man who has regained his sight. Or the diagnosed psychopath, posing as the perfect husband of the neighbourhood serial divorcée/estate agent in order to kill the local plumber who was in the car crash responsible for the death of his (previous) wife and child. Even in its fifth outing, the series has not strayed from its original premise. Basking in the permanent sunshine that rebounds off their Botox-riddled faces, the somewhat less than desper-
ate housewives, Teri Hatcher and Co, successfully steer us through ever more outlandish plots in ever more glamorous outfits. Unsubtle characterisation is matched by a black and white moral code. Issues are tackled with the same balance of sentimentality and comedy. For the time being, this still appears to be working. Desperate Housewives could never be recommended on the grounds of insightful viewing. But it never pretended otherwise and therein lies its charm. Unashamedly frivolous and unrealistic to the point of melodrama, the manicured green lawns of Wisteria Lane are escapist television at its finest. To reiterate Mary Alice: ‘It is an awful thing to live in the dark but there are those who prefer the darkness because there they see only what they choose to see’. Choose light. Choose Desperate Housewives.
ha-ha. Me as a man. Ha-ha. It’s a funny old world.” When the script isn’t trying to delve into Thatcher’s childhood, it does manage to present an interesting portrait of Thatcher’s control over her exclusively male circle of admirers and rivals. A string of flashbacks show how she exerted her authority over them - in a forceful manner somewhere between a matronly schoolmistress and a liontamer, -and creating as an end - and in the process creating a group so cowed and obedient that none of them is willing to tell her she cannot go on. The scenes when the realisation sinks in on both sides that she is finished are excellently poised, her shocked silences balanced with despair, even tears on the part of her closest acolytes. In keeping with the drama as a whole, the acting ranges from the sublime to the ridiculous, sometimes within the same scene. In the lead role, Lindsay Duncan is spot-on in echoing Thatcher's voice - hectoring, forceful and unnaturally deep - which was the product of voice coaching taken by the Iron Lady to make her seem more masculine. Margaret also shamelessly plays on Thatcher as a sex symbol, to the point of having her look permanently 20 years younger than in reality. This leads to some very odd moments, especially in her scenes with her daughter, which imply that Maggie must have given birth at some point in primary school.
The men around Thatcher are largely played by the same group of actors who circulate around BBC dramas playing posh men, endlessly cropping up in Hustle, Spooks and Doctor Who, here spending most of their time skulking around darkened offices as TV politicians always do. There are some excellent performances among them, in particular Thatcher’s perennial rival Michael Heseltine, who is is portrayed as a superb snarling Tigger of a man, swearing profusely as he bounces around the set; and John Major , who becomes is a sinister silent assassin, biding his time as his rivals destroy one another. On the other hand, Norman Tebbit, the Iron Lady’s enforcer, has an accent that migrates from his native north London to the Yorkshire moors, sometimes within the same sentence. The Queen is strangely dumpy, looking more like Aunt Bessie than Elizabeth II. Overall, Margaret shows occasional flashes of potential greatness as a psychological portrait of such a difficult subject, aiming for politics as Shakespearean tragedy, but is all too often let down by a cack-handed approach, and some moments that are truly bizarre. It’s a funny old world.
Snog, Marry, Avoid?
Paddy Douglas urges you to go for the last option
FROST: Lacking in vitamin D WATCHING JENNY Frost’s ‘hilarious’ dance sequence to see whether wrapping recently painted toenails in cling-film means they don’t smudge, it dawns on me that perhaps I’m not this programme’s target audience. But even if I was, I could tell you that Snog, Marry, Avoid is a terrible, terrible show made by and for terrible, terrible people. The first participant to get a makeover is Mickayla, a 19 year old exhibitionist whose routine for a night out is to apply five lots of fake tan and an outfit that appears to be stencilled on, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend. She is whisked off to POD, a HAL-like computer who aims to prove to her the error of her ways through a combination of acerbic comments and a "make-under". Once inside, she views videos of men saying that given the options in the title, they would definitely avoid her. After the initial shock, she is magically
transformed into a make-up-less, clothes-covered beauty. She and her boyfriend live happily ever after. Now, it is far too easy to insult and criticise the people featured in the show, and besides, they are the wrong people to blame for this programme. It is the producers. They seem to want to emulate the successes of shows like Gok Wan’s How to Look Good Naked but with the least effort, and so the makeovers that are supposed to greatly improve the participant’s outlook are done within seconds and leave no lasting impact on their lives. We aren’t even given a likeable, charismatic presenter who actually has some knowledge on the subject like Gok, and instead are left with a former member of Atomic Kitten who features in aforementioned execrable dance sequences. The whole concept of the show is fundamentally flawed too, as the people who are asked to snog, marry or avoid the person in question are given no one that they can compare to. The whole point of “Shag, Marry, Kill” (of which the programme’s title is so obviously a sanitised version) is to show skill in compromise and decision-making – without this, it just becomes a choice. I mean, who, after looking at a picture of someone, would wilfully pick the “marry” option? BBC3 has succeeded in making a lowbrow, empty, cheap, trashy bit of reality TV. It is endemic of the channel’s attempts to become au fait with the “yoof ” culture whose attention they so desperately seek. But the worst part of all? This is Snog, Marry, Avoid’s second series.
Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
culture@studentnewspaper.org
18 Review
Film The International
Directed by Tom Tykwer
� he world’s investment bankers T have had a rough year. It isn’t enough that they have to wake up every
morning and listen to Gordon Brown vilify them as if they were drug-dealing paedophiles, now they have to deal with a film that presupposes they are behind third-world arms proliferation! The New York Times's A.O. Scott aptly notes that this film "contains swearing and a narrative that may undermine the faith of children in the global financial system." Bankers' feelings must certainly be hurt, with little to comfort them but the multi-million pound severance packages they received after their hedge fund went bust from investing in toxic mortgage assets. Ah, the cruel, reckless tango with Satan that is life. Anywho, the amoral bankers in Tom Tykwer’s The International are attempting to sell billions of dollars worth of guided missiles to Hezbollah, Iran, and Syria in the hopes of, well, making money. Crack Interpol Agent Louis Salinger (Clive “I Got Jive” Owen) has been investigating the wrongdoings of Luxembourg’s International Bank of Business and Credit (IBBC) for years, only to find his witnesses murdered and his superiors mysteriously shutting down his investigations. Salinger has gone his entire career being emasculated by forces beyond his control. He realises, like many-a cop defeated by the system, a good dose of off-the-record bureaucrat-may-care vigilanteism is just what IBBC needs. When we meet him, Salinger is leading an investigation into IBBC’s purchase of Chinese missiles along with New York City Assistant District Attorney Eleanor Whitman (Naomi “is very hot but is also an accomplished actress” Watts), who is investigating
IBBC’s Manhattan branch for money laundering. After Salinger’s IBBC informant dies (is murdered) in a car accident (on purpose), he begins tracking down the IBBC’s assassin with the help of Whitman in a spectacle of corruption and murder across the rooftops of Milan, New York, and Istanbul. Tykwer succeeds masterfully in creating a film that is deliberately über-modern, but pays homage to the classic spy thrillers of the 1960s and
70s. Imagine sending The Day of the Jackal to Ikea and buying it a new Audi. As the film jumps through European locations such as Berlin’s Hauptbahnhof and the Interpol headquarters, the viewer is lost in a sea of glass facades and sharp angles that emphasise both the monochrome of globalization and the ubiquity of IBBC’s power. However, Tykwer’s best use of location is without a doubt the spiralling, unimaginably thrilling gunfight in New
York's Guggenheim Museum. Here, Owen returns to action hero form, riddling the famous art museum with bullet holes in the greatest insult to fine art since Tracey Emin. Yeah, I went there. The International could be thrown in with the recent spate of hardboiled, realistic (used in the loosest sense of the word) spy films like the Bourne trilogy or Quantum of Solace, but that would be selling it short. Not to say that The
The Man From London
Directed by Bela Tarris
he Man from London has divided T opinion quite dramatically, and is unlikely to bridge the enormous
gulf between those who believe that Magyar director Bela Tarris is a visionary genius, and those who think Tarris a tedious bore projecting his frustratingly abstract cinematic motifs on audiences worldwide. In fact, this particular example of Tarris’ brooding, claustrophobic drama probably divides opinion more than any of the auteur’s other movies. The story charts the journey of a blue collar worker who stumbles on a shedload of money; and truth be known, if you're one of those who see Tarris’s symbolism as meaningless, the plot will not expound upon this premise in any meaningful way. Plot aside, the production of The Man from London was certainly an interesting one, the film marred by controversy from the beginning. Threats to shut down the production due to lack of finance halted work, and the notorious suicide in February 2005 of the producer Humbert Balsan to whom the film is dedicated forged the film an infamous reputation. It
debuted at the 2007 Cannes Film Festival to much acclaim. This prestige may fool audiences into thinking that they’re in for a treat. They are not. Adopted from a novel by the Belgian novelist George Simenon, the film kicks off proceedings with a series of long, slow shots up the prow of various ships, accompanied by droning from Mihaly Vig’s exaggerated and mournful score. Almost the whole
movie is from the point of view of a gruff, middle-aged and balding man who we later on learn is called Maloin (Miroslav Krobot), who works the signal box of a train connection in a small French port. As the picture begins, a boat from London is discharging its passengers at night onto the waiting train. From his eerie little harbour, Maloin sees a small case being passed from the boat
to a man waiting on the other side. Shortly after, the two men engage in a struggle. One drowns in the harbour, and the mystery suitcase lands in the hands of our male protagonist. This is the most tantalising licking of action that the film has to offer you. Characters are seen only in the long shot from the perspective of Maloin, as they mingle between pools of light and shadows. Furthermore, a sense of
International is more entertaining than James Bond or more action-packed than Jason Bourne, simply that it lives somewhere a bit closer to reality. Seeing Daniel Craig thrust a man’s face into a urinal at the beginning of Casino Royale is certainly gritty, but Clive Owen’s Interpol agent is browbeaten and vulnerable enough to belong to our world. Sam Karasik displacement defines the tone of the film, with a typical Tarr-like timelessness permeating the scenes. Those actors not actually speaking Hungarian have been dubbed in to doing so, which accentuates a discombobulated sense of place and belonging. This reflects the central tension of the film, namely the antithesis between Maloin’s monotonous life back home, and the excitement and escapism from a clock-punching existence that can be had from the blood-stained money. However, the film wanders, forgetting the internal conflict and turmoil experienced by Maloin’s conscious as he grapples with the consequences of his actions. In spite of the well-formed mis-en-scene, The Man from London never manages to elevate the story onto the next level, or stir any empathy for the characters. Structurally speaking, this film had much to offer, but this was crushed by an overabundance of "symbolic" gestures in the form of rambling rants punctuated by prolonged silences. Oh, and shaky images of railway tracks. It is also possible that one could have missed out on the ultra avant-garde meaning behind all this, but really, if this is the case, how long must I be at University studying for an MA before grasping and enjoying the "existentialist hues" of high art? Kim McLaughlan
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Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Review 19 THE UNBORN
JONAS? JUDAS? NUDAS? ABSOLUTELY NONAS! JONAS!
DIRECTED BY DAVID S. GOYER
o you think it’s possible to be D haunted by someone who was never even born? No, you probably don’t. But
writer/director David S Goyer (co-writer of Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies and the Blade series) thinks you might. Why else would he bother to spend time on such a blatant waste of celluloid as the catastrphically terrible The Unborn? Casey (Odette Yustman) is a college girl, spending most of her time switching between tracksuits and underwear because that’s, like, so frickin’ hawt. She starts having weird dreams and visions of a creepy blue-eyed boy (Ethan Cutkosky) who is hell-bent on making her life, well, hell. After doing some amateur detective work (as all American teens in horror movies do), assisted by a trusty, typically bland sidekick (Megan Good), Casey reveals a dark family secret and discovers that her unborn twin brother, Jumby (say no more…) is attempting to enter the world denied to him though second birth. Enlisting the help of a sceptical rabbi (Gary Oldman, who can do so much better than this) and Episcopalian priest (Idris Elba, who did so much better than this in The Wire), the gang sets about trying to exorcise the little boy. It makes as much sense as a platypus. Clearly, Goyer, (high on... let's say crystal meth-eds.) watched one scene from The Exorcist then decided to re-write the entire thing, substituting Catholicism with the Kabbalah and adding Nazis. The script reads like a roll-call of horror clichés: scary kids, broken mirrors, sinister asylums, expendable black characters, babysitting, and gratuitous nudity. Seemingly a montage of every teen horror movie ever made, the film
The unborn attacked just as the Meatloaf/Bonnie Tyler karaoke contest was reaching its climax. also irritatingly relies upon one-dimensional characters falling into the classic trap of doing everything that common sense would tell them not to. Why Oldman and Elba decided to be in this film is more of a mystery than the hokey haunting itself. Obviously the recession is affecting everyone, even A-list actors. The stuttering performances are just as bad as the dialogue itself, which in turn just about matches the quality of the plot. Really, the only redeeming feature of this film is the sound, which
is responsible for the presence of any suspense at all. Yustman looks like she’d be more at home in a Nike advert and Megan Good just doesn’t live up to her name (too easy, granted, but it’s true). The only actors who are anything near sufficiently suited to their roles are the children but their job mainly consists of staring at everyone hyper-intently and being portals to the other side. The scares are second-rate and the least believable part is when Yustman has
ANVIL! THE STORY OF ANVIL DIRECTED BY SACHA GERVASI
he Story of Anvil tracks four T clueless rockers on a disastrous trans-continental tour in support of a
new album yet to sell more than a few hundred copies. The four are aging fast but adamant that the music will continue, if only for their dwindling fan-base. The group is managed by a band girlfriend interested in yoga and “manipulative astrology” who is the origin of more than a little in-fighting. The film culminates with a raucous gig in Japan. The drummer’s name is even Robb Reiner. Surely it’s all an elaborate lsice of viral marketing to celebrate a re-release of that monumental 1984 rockumentary…Wrong, as it turns out…This really is Spinal Tap, albeit without anyone named Nigel. Anvil! (the exclamation mark is definitely not droppable, as the film explains) are very much real. Decades-old metal-rockers headed by best friends Steve ‘Lips’ Kudlow and Reiner, vocalist and drummer respectively, Anvil! have won much acclaim from fellow musicians - impressive testimonials from genre behemoths Motorhead and Metallica attest to the band’s significant influence - but have always missed out on fame and fortune themselves. However, amid the heartbreaking drudgery of everyday life, the sometime-axe-wielders attempting to hold down day jobs as lifters for supermarkets and the like, hope lives
Anvil: keeping the dream alive through the medium of fisting. on for Anvil! The sweetly loyal friends, all four past fifty, swear never to give up on their rock ‘n’ roll dream, whatever their wish-fulfilment might cost them in terms of time, money, humiliation, family-ties, rejection. The fulcrum for the documentary then-and it’s important that viewers
remind themselves that this is indeed a documentary every few minutes-is the question of just how far people will go to achieve their life goals in a harsh world that can appear to dash hopes left, right and centre. How unrealistic is Anvil!’s ‘unrealistic’ dream? The candid, excruciatingly honest reflections
horrific visions in an empty toilet cubicle in a club. You show me an empty club bathroom and I’ll show you a unicorn and three talking broomsticks, never mind undead foetuses. The ending is predictable, unsatisfactory and…well, it sort of makes the entire thing completely redundant. Do not be fooled by the trailer; a good horror movie should not have you giggling the whole way through. Shan Bertelli of band members on the making of their thirteenth studio album are what lift this above director Sacha Gervasi’s noted predilection for facile sentimentality, as observed in a number of his previous pictures. It certainly helps that Gervasi is himself a hardcore fan (he was himself a roadie for the band in the mid-‘80s). His devotion allows us access to Anvil’s most private and often painful moments, but it also ensures that his film rises above mere cinematic rubbernecking to tell a fascinating tale of optimism, limits and the underside of the rock ’n’ roll dream. Much more than a rockumentary, the unexpectedly philosophical Anvil! will have audiences leave cinemas with their heads swimming with questions on the abandonment of dreams and the sacrifices each individual makes in reaching for those dreams. This is a refreshing tale of four friends playing music simply for the love of it. So many bands are broken up by ego and money, but having neither is perhaps why these guys have rocked on for so long. Like life, it isn’t all laughs - but it mostly is, and it makes for a hell of a movie. This is Spinal Tap and then some; don’t miss it. Epilogue: Based on the success of the film, the resurrected Anvil! now find themselves playing almost every U.S. rock festival and will appear at Glastonbury this summer. Like my good friends the Jonas Brothers know, sometimes good things do happen to good people. And let's not forget that Glastonbury’s quite near Stonehenge… Tom MacDonald
Wow! Imagine seeing people in not just one, not just two, not just four, but THREE dimensions! That’s right kids, we’ll soon be appearing in cineplexes everywhere in our biopic (you’re never too young) Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience. You defiantly non-randy tweens will gasp as our silver ring things fill the cinema, as our sterilised religio-crotches thrust within inches of your virgin eyes, as our overtly sexual triumvirate of non-sexuals makes its final 3D approach. Jonas Brothers: coming at ya, in ya, up ya...Sweet Jesus! Retract! Retract! I…er…promise you won’t read over that? Promise it for a Jonas Brother dude. Goshdarn motherflipper! It’s this heinous, Mary Whitehouse-bereft world of aborted morality that does this to us…I’m sure you, our disciples, sometimes get…feelings…too. Well, if you do, pop on that iron jockstrap and get somewhere public fast. And then watch our film. But remember, though cinemas are dark, The Big Guy can still see you. So don’t do that. Walking blasphemy Eddie Murphy is apparently planning a return to screens as the title character in Richard Pryor: Is it something I said? Now, we could never find anything other than love in our hearts for a fellow man but, seriously, that goddamn Murphy motherfunker had better come up with the goods. The abhorrent ignoramus notes Pryor as an inspiration. Self-immolation was never funny Mr Murphychops but it could certainly be an inspiration. Golly, that was cruel! I can be so naughty at times (winkwinknudgenudgepassmethecrotchblocker). Second only to my Holy Father is my mother, divine in her own special way yet very much Earth-based. I’m pleased then to hear that Robert Zemeckis, director of Forrest Gump and protagonist of the controversial Dame Judi Dench: My life, my wish to be a man, is working on a new movie with Seth Green entitled Mars Needs Moms. It concerns a stowaway on an alien spaceship hoping to rescue his ‘mom’. To be honest that sounds about as much fun as (whispers) sex. Which as we all know is not fun at all. Probably. Definitely. Both Karate Kid and The [truly] Never-ending Story are to get sequels! Wow. Did you know that the central character in said story-that-never-quite-concludes is named ‘Bastian’? The mutant offspring of Prince Caspian and…I dunno, a bastard…probably. Films like this series that don’t offer closure really grate like cheese man. It’s like Citizen Kane. Or A Muppet Christmas Carol. Just offer me some kind of explanation, some kind of sign, a reason, redemption… please! Lordy! No, not you, I was just saying ‘Lordy’ y’know…oh bugger! Yes, you! …Scheisskopf! And he’s off again…still, we’ve got plenty of other roadies… G’night. The Jo' Bros'
Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
20
music@studentnewspaper.org
Review
Album Reviews MORRISSEY
MUSIC
U2: No Line On The Horizon Track-by-Track
Years of Refusal POLYDOR
U2
No Line On The Horizon
s good a A songwriter as Morrissey
supposedly is, he is often overly simplistic and grudgebearing, like a child in the midst of a temper tantrum. No wonder Noel Gallagher thinks Morrissey is the best lyricist ever. ‘Black Cloud’ and ‘I’m OK by Myself ’ are overly self-pitying and and leave no lasting impression here. However, there are enough muscular, potent songs to outweigh them, notably 'Something Is Squeezing My Skull', 'That's How People Grow Up' and 'One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell'. Years of Refusal does contain a few welcome surprises, too. Single ‘I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris’ is a reminder of ‘Ringleader of The Tormentors’ with its more beautiful pop sounds, and ‘You Were Good In Your Time’ is slow, orchestral and very French. Best of all, however, is ‘When I Last Spoke to Carol’, which uses trumpets, galloping drums and flamenco to create Morrissey’s first ever fiesta. There is life, and variation, in the grumpy old dog yet. Matthew Oldfield EMPIRE OF THE SUN Walking On A Dream POLYDOR
he T combined energy of a
Kenyan marathon runner and Michael Phelps still does not match the energy of this record. Australian duo Nick Littlemore and Luke Steele have produced a debut album that conjures up a sound that is not dissimilar to a combination of MGMT and the Bee Gees, yet is both original and distinctly their own. Empire of the Sun will not be remembered for the depth of their lyrics. However, the lack of lyrical quality is compensated by the electronic journey that Littlemore and Steele take the listener on and by their ability to create a very infectious sound. By the end of the album you feel as if you have spent the night at a twisted disco. Tracks such as 'We Are The People' and 'Standing On The Shore' have the knack of sticking in your head almost instantly. The eclectic and fresh sound of Empire of the Sun has the potential of one of the biggest albums of the year and a soundtrack to the summer. Jordan Campbell
MUTE
1. No Line On The Horizon The Edge has his guitar tuned to 'Rock Behemoth' instead of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' on the title-track. It's a chugging, instant opener, which sees Bono letting rip on those vocal chords of his. A confident start. 2. Magnificent With its electronic flourishes, fluid bassline and washed out guitars, 'Magnificent' is a widescreen pop song. Bono sings "only love can leave such a mark/only love can leave such a scar". Not magnificent (it is, you say!), but it's not a dud either. 3. Moment of Surrender Showing more experimental signs,
THE LOOK OF LOVE 'Moment of Surrender' represents U2's stab at soul. It's this album's 'Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of '. A seven-minute slowburner. Lighters out. 4. Unknown Caller Featuring a pretty intro with bird chirps and high notes, 'Unknown Caller' has some of the most bizarre ideas on No Line, including a synthetic organ, and lyrics about
out-of-body experiences such as: "Restart! Reboot yourself! You're free to go." Quite. 5. I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight Another song with a big, big chorus. Shame it's a bit silly. 6. Get On Your Boots Please. Dad. Stop.
7. Stand Up Comedy And this is not far away from getting that crown for most uncomfortable Dad-rock moment. It's a horrible stab at funk. "This is comedy," Bono says. Yes, it certainly is. Only I wish it was funny. 8. FEZ - Being Born A bit half-baked this one. An intro of electronic pulses of bass with
Michael Angelakos: The best is yet to come
Jonny Stockford talks to the lead singer of Passion Pit about the pressure of hype and
“
emphatically gesturing with his hands about this “chunk of change”. We found it really funny. Basically it means “a lot of money”.
The Student: Can I ask you about the name, Passion Pit?
MA: No. I’ve taken a year off, but I don’t think I’m going back! I’m contractually bound to finish some things.
I'll make it seem like I'm stronger but I'm quite the actor." 'I've Got Your Number', Passion Pit
Michael Angelakos: Yeah, sure. S: Is it a euphemism? MA: Er...haha. Yeah, it is a euphemism, but not the one you’re thinking of, I bet. I was in a fashion class, and for each specific era the teacher would hand out a list of slang terms. Essentially people referred to the drive-in movie theatre as the ‘Passion Pit’. I took it on as the name of the project, not wanting it to be taken particularly seriously, and it’s just stuck. I didn’t know that the low-key project would turn into something so much bigger. S: What about ‘Chunk of Change’ (the title of Passion Pit's debut EP) - what does that mean? MA: That came from classes at college, too. We were talking about oil money, and our teacher kept
S: Have you graduated now?
S: What do you think of the amount of new bands emerging at the moment? Are there too many? MA: Oh, you mean the over-saturation? S: Yes. MA: I don’t think you can ignore it. S: Is it scary? MA: Yeah. It scares the shit out of you. It scares you, but it pushes you, and makes you a better band. If you didn’t have that kind of pressure, then what would you be doing anyway? S: Were you expecting anything from the recording of the EP? Was it simply meant as a gift to your girlfriend?
MA: It wasn’t even meant to be heard as a gift. It was more of an apology to my girlfriend. S: What do you think of people who talk about it as a big romantic gesture? MA: I think it’s hilarious that people take it so seriously. I mean, people examine my vocal bridges; they try to make sense of that. I was just screaming into my laptop! People don’t know the mode of production. I licensed that record, so I own that record. S: So how did the record reach a wider audience? MA: I showed it round to my friends at school. Ian (the drummer in the band) and a couple of them said “let’s flesh this out,” and it started to work. We decided not to use any backing tracks. S: What should we expect from the album? MA: Oh, it’s completely different. People won’t recognise the Passion Pit of the album from the Passion Pit of the EP. The reviews of ‘Chunk of Change’ are amazing, don’t get me wrong; they’re spot on.
But the LP is far bigger sounding. People will expect an extension of the EP, but it’s not. ‘Sleepyhead’ is on there, but it’s far into the album. S: Do you think it’s one of the weaker songs on the album? MA: Yeah. In fact, I don’t think it should be on there at all, but we put it on there because it’s a good song, and it resonates so well with people. And it does work thematically on the album. S: It seems that your lyrics tackle very dark subject matter. MA: Yeah. ‘Sleepyhead’ is about pain. It’s about being so tired you cannot sleep. I think you have to spill your guts a little bit as a songwriter. Lyrically, I’m very happy with the new record, and sonically, it’s just fucking huge. And it’s all danceable. By the time all the horns came in, we sat back and listened to the album and thought: “Whoa... what are people going to think?” We’re looking forward to surprising people. S: When’s the album due? MA: My birthday! May 19th.
Don't go anywhere without your iPod? music@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Review 21
Sweet Foxes
U2's Track-By-Track Continued female harmonies breaks down and snaps into robotic space rock with martial drumming. But it goes nowhere. 9. White As Snow One of the album's highlights, 'White As Snow' is Bono's hymn to a soldier dying in Afghanistan. The central melody is based on 'Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel', and is backed by brass and vocals by The Edge. A brave song in many ways.
10. Breathe
Fleet Foxes
U2 go back to being anthemic. 'Breathe' is a throwaway, guitardriven song with a memorable piano coda.
The Roundhouse, Camden, London Sunday 22nd February
11. Cedars Of Lebanon An understated closer, featuring The Edge again on backing vocals. Bono sing-speaks "choose your enemies carefully 'cause they will define you."
Videoof
theweeK
Last of the English Roses
Who is this? Peter Doherty? Never heard of him. This video to his first solo single sees him in a QPR shirt
having a kick-around with some of his skinny schoolchums around a council estate. Well, at least when he's not in a suit and a fedora looking absolutely munted.
from Passion Pit
how pop is no longer a dirty word S: So the album is another gift, to yourself? MA: Ha. Well, thinking about it, I got more out of that first present than she did. S: What does she think of it now? MA: Oh, she loves it. It is her album. In the same way that the new one is about us, the last one was about her, and about how I was a difficult, unstable person to be with. S: What’s the album called? MA: It’s called Manners. It’s a very self-reflexive album. A pop album. S: In the purest sense of the word pop? MA: Oh yeah. This is not an indie rock band. This is a pop band. S: Skewed pop? MA: Yeah, good pop should be skewed: Kate Bush, Peter Gabriel, Brian Wilson. S: Animal Collective, you might say, are a contemporary pop band in that sense then.
Things we've been listening to this week, both old and new.
JS
peter doherty
Recommended tracks
MA: Yeah. I really respect them. But I also wish they admitted to being a pop band more often. ‘My Girls’ should get a lot of radio play because it’s a pop song. Perhaps it’s not a pop album, but it has pop songs. S: Because there’s a lot of drone on there? MA: Drone is amazing, but pop is bitesized, beautiful, sugar-coated capsules. They infiltrate pop with drone, and they do it very well. S: It seem like pop has only recently stopped being a dirty word. MA: Yeah, and I can’t understand why it was a dirty word. There are so many poor journalists who are afraid of that word. And ‘orchestra’. Orchestra used to be such a bad thing. But now Sigur Ros and Elbow are embracing it, it’s the best thing. The last thing I wanted to say after finishing Manners was “this is a collection of songs that kinda fit together.” I wanted this to be a great album, to be as coherent, to have continuity. And we can do whatever the fuck we want, because no-one knows who we really are yet.
f a band describes their sound as Iis always ‘baroque harmonic pop jams’, there the concern that they might
be taking themselves a wee bit too seriously. In fact, if the five-piece harmonic group enter a venue sporting straggly hair, unkempt beards and wearing a plaid shirt a-piece, the concern might quickly become fact. Yet Fleet Foxes, Seattle’s critically acclaimed ‘band of 2008’ silenced even the most cynical (and yes, plaid-wearing) Londoner on Sunday night, allowing their autumnal melodies to speak for themselves. Drawn together by their mutual love for Bob Dylan and Neil Young, and compared to 60s bands Fairport Convention and Crosby, Stills and Nash, Fleet Foxes manage to carve their own unique space in the folk-revival of late. With one self-titled album and the Sun Giant EP, the group might not have a vast catalogue of songs to choose from, but the audience couldn’t fault a single one. While unnerved by sound adjustments at the start, their second track, 'Sun It Rises' was haunting in its clarity from start to end. Other highlights were 'Your Protector', 'English House' and the magical 'White Winter Hymnal', which showcased the tight and choral-esque harmonies that the group have become known for. While Jimmy Tillman’s back-up vocals were the perfect complement to lead-singer Robin Pecknold’s voice, it was indeed the latter’s gawky smile and striking sound that made his solo performances some of the most magical of the night. Performing folk classic 'Katie Cruel' without a mic or
Ben gibbard & Feist - train song (dark was the night) This Vashti Bunyan cover features on the AIDS charity, The Red Hot Organization's excellent compilation, Dark Was The Night. Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard and Leslie Feist provide vocals on a gutsy interpretation of the original song. beirut - no dice (march of the zapotec/realpeople holland) The most divisive song on Beirut's home-made electronic EP Realpeople Holland is an infectious slice of pop. The kind that lodges itself in your brain for a whole week. amplification, the depths of his raw voice resonated around the venue walls. Comfortable chatting with the crowd, Pecknold played 'It Ain’t Me Babe', when asked for his ‘favourite Dylan song’ and joined the rest of the band for the of-another-age 'Tiger Mountain Peasant Song', apologising to the swaying audience when the show had to end. Humble, professional and unbelievably talented, Fleet Foxes might have sipped on water all night, but they still left the 2,000-capacity Roundhouse on a total high. Sarah Morrison
the wrens - everyone choose sides (the meadowlands) We have been celebrating the welcome return of The Wrens by playing The Meadowlands and remembering how fucking brilliant it is. nico muhly - the only tune III. the Only Tune (mothertongue) This hyptonic piece from the annoyingly talented American Classical composer Nico Muhly (who recently soundtracked The Reader) is simplicity itself: a lyrically-bare folk song sung by Sam Amidon. erykah badu - soldier (new amerykah part one) One of the best songs recently composed on the Iraq war, 'Soldier' points to the fact that more women soldiers have fought in Iraq than in any other American war in history. the tallest man on earth - the gardener (shallow grave) Overlooked by many last year, this Swedish singer-songwriter sounds uncannily like a young Bob Dylan. That's a good thing. yeah yeah yeahs - heads will roll (it's Blitz!) This track has got us pretty excited about the new album, It's Blitz!. Think Blondie meets 'Blue Monday' and you're almost there. it hugs back - now + again (inside your guitar) Another lovely single from this tidy little soft pop band from Kent. jenny wilson - the wooden chair (hardships!) The return of the Swedish singer.
studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 3 2009 culture@studentnewspaper.org
22 Review
culture the mystery of Irma vep
WHAT ELSE IS ON? my love and native land, farewell until 22nd march city art centre
Peter McIntyre Dunedin
2009 is the year of the "Homecoming". This initiative, thought up by the everpatriotic Alex Salmond, may have been brought to your attention by the Stinking Bishop cheesiness that is the ‘Homecoming Scotland’ advert which is currently showing on televisions across the globe. It was created to encourage ex-pats the world over to re-visit the land of their ancestors, and shows an eclectic mix of Scottish celebs throwing caution to the wind and belting out a less-than-tuneful rendition of ‘Caledonia’. My personal favourite is Sean Connery, who manages both to avoid actually singing and to look surprisingly sexy at 78 (or maybe that’s just me). I may be a particularly patriotic breed of Scot but it is undeniable that the Homecoming is important as a celebration of this wonderful country that you find yourselves studying in. Scotland has a rich and colourful history and a people who are fiercely proud of their heritage, maybe because we have always played the underdog! It is this inherent pride that's on display at the City Art Centre exhibition. Despite its location in the centre of town, the gallery may well have passed you by, perhaps because we students get easily distracted by the delights of nearby Massa or, god forbid, City Nightclub. The building houses a handful of studentfriendly exhibitions all of which will cost you nada. The exhibition in question examines the idea of Homecoming and explores the causes and implications of mass emigration from Scotland between the 17th and the 19th century through the medium of sketches and paintings. It is a small collection, but together the works evoke an overwhelming love-of-theland which Rabbie Burns was so fond of writing about. Much of it focusses on Edinburgh, and even if you are not a Scottish Nationalist in the slightest, you should just go along to appreciate that there is a lot more to this fair city than George Square for lectures and George Street at night. Ruth Macpherson
until 14th march Royal Lyceum theatre
Featuring vampires, bizarre hauntings, werewolves, mummies and er, copious amounts of cross dressing, The Mystery of Irma Vep has to be one of the most bizarre B-movie spoofs written. Not that surprising, considering that this is the most famous work of Charles Ludlum, founder of the Ridiculous Theatre Company; but at times this comedy seems a little self-indulgent. Irma Vep certainly has no pretensions to be anything other than an irreverent romp through the horror genre, and taken as such it is an enjoyable production. The plot centres on the sinister estate of Mandacrest, whose hotchpotch group of clichéd inhabitants are perpetually fascinated by the supernatural. We join events as eminent Egyptologist Lord Edgar Hillcrest remar-
ries following the untimely death of his wife Irma. Meanwhile the estate’s staff are deep in mourning after the disappearance of Hillcrest’s son Victor, suspected to have become the latest suspected victim of Mandacrest’s resident werewolf (also called Victor). Here’s the twist: the contract for Irma Vep particularly stipulates that two actors of the same gender play the various male and female roles. This is competently done by actors Andy Gray and Steven McNicoll who effortlessly flit between characters and whose thinly disguised exits for costume changes surprisingly provide some of the productions funniest moments. The play’s premise is obviously ripe for farcical situations to unfold, however the whole thing often feels overly engineered to create predictable comedy. Its capable actors are often constrained by uninspired dialogue and every line is dripping with innuendo which is often unnecessary. Irma Vep is like a poor man’s Monty Python; it rejoices in its stupidity and provides some memorable scenes, but lacks originality and wit. The joys of Irma Vep however lie in its excellent set, which cleverly changes from the stately grandeur of Mandacrest to an ancient Egyptian tomb and the cockpit of an aeroplane. There is a certain charm in its selfawareness as a play that makes for compelling viewing. Approach Irma Vep with an open mind and rewards are there for the taking. Ciara Stafford
Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo Run ended Festival theatre
A bit of a step up from the basic good toes/naughty toes taught to 3 year olds in pink leotards, Les Ballets Trockadero is a slapstick ballet de excellence that can be appreciated even by newcomers to the artform. Unusually for a traditional ballet, 'The Trocks', as the troupe are affectionately known, is incredibly funny. This is mostly due to its blurring of gender roles as the all male cast don tutus and dance en Pointe very gracefully in a parody of Swan Lake and other established ballets. So effective is the cast’s portrayal of female dance it is easy to forget that the performers - who resemble jewellery box figurines - are all men. However, catching sight of a hairy arm pit or a lycra clad crotch-bulge
quickly reminds you, at which point the hilarity can be appreciated on a whole new level. The most successful comic moments come from the exaggerated mistakes that can occur in dance such as dropping your partner or the malting of the dying swan’s feathers. Especially funny is the second act, Le Grand Pas de Quatre, in which the dancers’ attempts to outdo each other are hilarious and result in a pirouette-style dance off which involves some very bitchy upstaging and attempts to sabotage each others’ performance. The Trocks aren’t just about the comedy of men wearing make–up however; the dancing is amazing in its combination of strength (which certainly shows in the muscular form of the performers) and elegance. The cast are very professional and dedicated to what they do and the looks on their faces show the audience that they are having fun with the show as well as striving for technical excellence.
City of glass RUN FINISHED Bedlam Theatre
Paul Auster’s story of Daniel Quinn, grappling with his identity, alone in the vast and unforgiving city of New York, is difficult to imagine adapted for theatre. Its focus on words, and how their meaning creates a central purpose for mankind, is a hefty theme to convey on the stage. However, this adaptation by Alexandra Randall’s (also the director), is wholly successful in bringing Auster’s City of Glass to life. Much of the original dialogue was retained and the skilful use of a chorus to provide narration, allowed the story to be comfortably told. The set fell a little short of the ambitious New York setting, however clever inclusion of diagrams as the skyline (also in the programme) was an excellent way of retaining the visual parts of Auster’s narrative. The ensemble scene at the park, as well as a delightful cameo from the unnamed hotel receptionist, provided light relief in an otherwise very solemn play. It was Kristoffer Bruce as Stillman Jr who stole the show. A small, but crucial part at the
It is clear to see why the performance was met with a whistling, foot-stamping, full-house audience and why the show is met with such acclaim wherever it goes. The show is a success in making ballet appeal to a wider audience than more traditional dance performances. Both its humour and the fact that you don’t have to be especially
start of the play, established an interest and emotional investment for the audience. Playing a man irreparably damaged by cruelty and brutality, Bruce’s performance was understated and poignant, enough to provide the impetus for the rest of the play’s proceedings. Also notable was the climactic park scene with Stillman Sr (Alasdair Maclean), explaining his bizarre thesis to Quinn. This just managed to maintain momentum, despite its wordiness. Such lack of action was evident throughout, by the considerable amount of pacing on the part of the cast, apparently unsure of their bodies when faced with such a quantity of dialogue. A rather uncertain start for Solomon Mousley as Quinn, quickly broadened into a confident portrayal of a man let down by life, trying to salvage something from it, and his ultimate disappointment. Complimenting the chorus well, his portrayal as a detective retained the impression of a case to be solved throughout. He played the final scene with poise, supported by an excellent Simon Ginty (lead chorus man), leaving the audience with the feeling that the glass had been shattered. Lucy Pearse
aware of the ballets it parodies to have a good laugh, make the performance of an exceptionally high standard. If any criticism is to be given, it is that it only on for two nights. Alanna Petrie
Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
culture@studentnewspaper.org
Review 23 STAR RATING Backstage Pass 'I Woulld' Medium Bulge Brand Skank Russell Brand called my Father
Sachs-obsessed
Catherine Sylvain gets to the bottom of Brand's Paradox RUSSELL BRAND Run Ended EDINBURGH PLAYHOUSE
RUSSELL BRAND’S new stand-up show, Scandalous, presents a perplexing dilemma which I shall call 'Brand’s Paradox'. His celebrity is derived from his comedy, but he entirely derives his comedy from his celebrity. He adeptly highlights the hilarious absurdity of his own fame, while simultaneously justifying it. It was for this reason that the audience leaving the Edinburgh Playhouse last Monday all shared a similar expression -amused, but faintly confused, and somewhat dissatisfied. The bulk of the evening consisted of a reaction to Sachsgate, the affair that resulted in his resignation from the BBC - and without which he would apparently have no material at all. Brand plays television news clips, reads out newspaper articles and online forum comments concerning the affair, meticulously dissecting them to the point of tedium. Yet all the while, Brand preempts and undermines criticism of this narcissistic feat, readily admitting that, in his own mind, he is headline news everyday and that all the negative press coverage did nothing but bolster his already 25 YEARS OF PHOTOGRAPHY Until 19th April NATIONAL GALLERY
WHEN AN exhibition is the product of over 25 years of collection, and the photos on display are hand-picked from over 40,000 pictures, you expect a hell of a show. An all-singing, all-dancing, all-star type of kick-you-in-the-crotch brilliance. But unfortunately, you are bound to be disappointed if you turn up with such high expectations to 25 Year's of Photography at the National
inflated ego. He may have become a parody of himself, but it is a stringently self-aware parody. Each story is inevitably punctuated by an audience Q&A, where the single question is always, ‘can I sleep with you?’ (Answer: yes). There is a tangible irony that, in the same venue that just days previously had witnessed performances of the feminist play The Vagina Monologues, a girl should stand up and flash her breasts screaming for Brand to ‘make her famous’. Indeed, Brand himself even appears mildly perturbed by his own reputation, as he points out “this isn’t some sort of cock karaoke” to the tireless cries of the girls who apparently attend the show just to add their names to the list of Brand’s conquests. Russell’s brand (wahey!) of charm renders dislike of him nigh-on impossible; but Gallery exhibition. Like a disillusioned Guns'N'Roses fan who queued all night to get their hands on a copy of Chinese Democracy, I wandered around this exhibition feeling rather cheated. It's not that the photographs themselves are bad. Some of them are remarkably beautiful. Calum Colin's 'Untitled' from The Series of Constucted Narratives is incredibly clever and witty. But the exhibition is poorly presented. The introductory blurb claims it is roughly divided into three sections: Staged and Manipulated; People and Land, and Stone. However, I managed to view the whole thing backwards as there was
Castle Island and Cracking Ice Loch Leven (1987)
as the evening wears on he becames difficult to relate to. Comedy, necessarily, should be familiar, our laughter coming from recognition of our own idiosyncrasies; yet 90 minutes of the pitfalls of Brand’s own fame is irreconcilable with everyday life. Potentially one of the greatest comedians of our generation, it would be a tragedy for Russell Brand to be let down by flimsy material… or maybe it would just be a tragicomedy.
no indicator as to where these supposed sections began or ended. Coupled with this, the National Gallery insist on low-level lighting in order to preserve the photos, some of which date back to the 1840. As a result you are jostled by elderly women who, despite the large spectacles sliding down their noses, seem to be only capable of viewing these pictures at a distance of thirty centimetres from the glass. The exhibition is a recognition of the impressive contribution Scotland has made to the art of photography, and features some striking photos depicting life in Glasgow, Aberdeen and the Highlands. Yet pictures such as George
THE SCANDALOUS LIFE OF RUSSELL BRAND • Rumoured conquests include Kate Moss, Courtney Love, Che Guevara’s daughter Lydia and all the Arts and Theatre Editors (at the same time). • One of his first jobs was with MTV, where he took advantage of networking opportunities and introduced Kylie Minogue to his drug dealer. He also dressed up as Osama Bin Laden in the 9/11 aftermath. He was fired. • When presenting the 2008 Video Music Awards in LA he managed to offend the vast majority of the American audience calling their president ‘a retarded cowboy fella’, who in England ‘wouldn’t be trusted with scissors’. • Along with radio show co-host Jonathan Ross, he left Andrew Sachs (Manuel from Fawlty Towers), several voicemails alleging that he had slept with his grand-daughter (a member of the Satanic Sluts). He resigned.
Rodger's 'Wrestlers, Nuba of Kordofan' lack the biographical and background information which should highlight their importance both to Scottish art and the world of photography. Despite a few grumbles regarding the layout of the exhibition, the photographs themselves are worth the trip to the mound. Whether showing the haunting beauty of Loch Leven or a sense of fun for two ladies on a 'Mothers Pub Outing', the select few which are on display demonstrate the range and diversity which the title 'Scottish Photography' covers.
Children Playing On a Lorry (1958) Roger Mayne
Jenni Smout
LLOYD GEORGE KNEW MY FATHER Run Ended KING'S THEATRE
IT’S THE early 1960s and proud aristocrat Lady Boothroyd is ready to to lay down her life to defend her property, threatening to commit suicide should plans go ahead to build a motorway bypass on a stretch of unused land beyond her hedgerows. Noble intentions, perhaps, but the Lady is so poorly drawn, and her motivations so inadequately explored, that it comes off as little more than an irreverent joke at the expense of the other characters and the audience. So, what is this joke, exactly? Whose ribs is Lady Boothroyd jabbing? Here we have the full social spectrum of laughable stereotypes to choose from, with the script skirting between upper-class dementia, callous journalistic opportunism, geriatric dementia, political dementia, governmental facelessness, governmental callousness, governmental hatred of the press, gender-defined spousal rivalry and gormlessness in the service industry. First staged in 1972, this play’s initial success is almost as bewildering as its endurance. It stands, not unlike Lady Boothroyd herself, against the tide of change and stays well within the parameters of tried and tested jokes, the butts of which include the deaf community and the News of The World. Unsurprisingly, both play and audience have aged, and while its nice to watch busloads of enthusiastic elderly patrons pile into the King’s Theatre, it’s a little sad to see the play appealing to the demographic that it mocks. In the programme Harold Hobson describes the play as “steel that looks like velvet” referring to Home’s technique of “rocking] the boat of the secure world” but not “[letting] the boat capsize”. Here he hits the nail on the head; the play’s real weakness is its obvious fear of going further, of actually saying something about something. That said, the set deserves a special mention. It is richly and accurately evocative of a nineteenth century renovation of a seventeenth century drawing room. The natural yet artistic arrangement of furniture and decor allows the characters to move naturally and fluidly, making the actual choreography of the thing rather enjoyable to watch, as long as you don’t pay much attention to the hand gestures, or know how to lip read. Lisa Parr
Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Want to geek out with us? Drop us a line at tech@studentnewspaper.org
Review
TECHNOLOGY
Street Fighting Man
Alan Williamson goes the full three rounds with the legendary series STREET FIGHTER IV XBOX360 £29.99–£39.99 CAPCOM
DIMPS/CAPCOM
here is an intrinsic quality of T Street Fighter that accounts for its continuing popularity: beating the
Capcom game from the outset: tough but fair, unforgiving but rewarding. It doesn’t make any concessions to newcomers in the form of tutorials, preferring to drop you in headfirst and get an absolute kicking before turning to the instructions and reading up on the intricacies of combat. Even the tutorials are impossible for me to complete, although I’m not sure if that is indicative of the game or my skills. New focus attacks allow players to parry opponents’ strikes before countering, while Ultra combos can easily turn the tide of battle. As you are attacked and take damage, a ‘Revenge meter’ builds. When filled a character can unleash their most powerful attack, which can take off half your opponent’s health in a matter of seconds. Paradoxically, the game both embraces and shirks simplicity. Focus attacks are much easier to perform than the notoriously difficult Parry system from Street Fighter III, but there are so many gauges flashing on-screen that it
crap out of people is fun [in a gameThe Student legal team], doubly so if it’s your boastful friend who needs taken down a peg or two. Few titles have made as big an impact on the gaming landscape as Street Fighter II. With an iconic cast of characters like Blanka the big green freak and Zangief the big Russian stereotype, matched with easy-to-grasp controls and a burgeoning arcade scene, it led to an explosion in competitive gaming and a deluge of inferior wannabes. 18 years on and 27 sequels later, arcades have become the bastion of glue-sniffing teenagers addicted to one-arm bandits and electronic poker. What, then, is the relevance of Street Fighter in an era where most fighting games are niche titles for hardcore players? Wisely, Capcom have gone back to the drawing board and built on the success of Street Fighter II rather than its successors. The original twelve world warriors return with their unique moves and personalities, while new challengers fit comfortably into the existing roster: ludicrous luchador El Fuerte and Rufus, the kung fu master with scary wobbling man-breasts, are balanced with the more serious femme fatale Crimson Viper, mixed martial artist Abel and Ryu’s sensei Gouken. Arguably, one of the main draws of the game is to see the stunning actualisation of the original cast in 3D. Vibrant and silky-smooth animation is peppered with calligraphic strokes and ink blots to jaw-dropping effect. Although the new Street Fighter: The Movie characters are excellent, it’s “It’s the Collection Agency, Bison. hard to resist the draw of old Your ass is six months over due, and favourites like Chun-Li and it’s mine”. I suspect mentioning that Guile. It’s like meeting an quote and that it ‘stars’ Jean Claude old friend you haven’t seen in van Damme is enough to convince years: you’ve both matured most people not to watch the godand got a bit fatter, but awful Street Fighter: The Movie. As there’s still an undeniable rapport under the surface. if the film wasn’t bad enough, the Old pros will be pulling off tie-in Street Fighter: The Movie: The fireballs and dragon punches Game took everything enjoyable within minutes while from the franchise and flushed it newbies will appreciate the away. Stay tuned for Street Fighter: intuitive “if it ain’t broke, The Movie: The Game: The Movie, in don’t fix it” approach to the which we hunt down and beat up fundamental mechanics. the developers. However, this doesn’t mean things are easy. Street Fighter IV is a classic
can become a bit overwhelming. Combat is a grittier, altogether different experience from the overthe-top madness of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 and the Street Fighter Alpha series. Punches and kicks connect with meaty sounds and visible grimaces of pain from the victim. Slower pacing allows for more strategy than fast reactions, which is reflected in the online play. Compared to the recent (and superb) Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix, in which fights can be over in mere seconds, battles in Street Fighter IV feel more meaningful and considered. As someone who normally loses at HD, this means I get to enjoy more time getting beaten up than staring at a results screen. The online aspect of Street Fighter IV is a mixed bag: while the integration of online challengers during your solo
Street Fighter
As first entries in long-standing series go, Street Fighter could have been worse. It’s an accurate simulation of two scarecrows coming to life and fighting each other (fireballs being disgruntled birds, and who could forget the deadly Hurricane Stick?). With its pressure-sensitive buttons like playing with a controller made from porridge, it’s one trip down memory lane you should avoid.
game is a nice touch, searching for games is an entirely different matter. To put it bluntly, it never really works and you’ll be punted back and forward trying to connect to a game for several minutes at a time. The greatest fun from a fighting game is always to be had when playing a friend in the same room and in this respect Street Fighter IV is no exception, but once finally connected to an opponent online there is an admirable level of tension with no game-breaking lag to spoil the fun. Street Fighter IV is a wonderfully crafted title that will enthral both veterans and curious bystanders in equal measure. More importantly, it’s a successful reinvention of a Marvel vs. Capcom 2 classic franchise TWELVE CHARACTERS and a deliciously aren’t enough for you? How about unpretentious slice 56 then? This bonkers-mad crossof unadulterated over pits Ryu and Ken against fun. It raises the bar Spiderman and Wolverine in an for the genre before epic confrontation. Choose your savagely beating the favourite three characters (except competition over Mega Man, he’s rubbish) and the head with it: unleash dizzying tag-team comthis challenger has bos to a truly horrendous piano easily become the lounge soundtrack. new champion.
Puzzles
“
Wait... are you guys talking about bukkake?" Leonardo da Vinci
Teasers
This Week's Horoscopes GEMINI May 22—June 21
AQUARIUS Jan 21—Feb 19
The
temperature of the Earth will gradually rise, the polar ice caps will melt and millions of people will be drowned or made homeless. That is, the ones who don't perish from HIV. Hey, you asked for the future. PISCES Feb 20—Mar 20
You will meet a tall, hand-
some stranger. Your paths will cross on your way to a lecture, over lunch in the Library Bar or just while meeting friends. You will talk to the handsome stranger. They will give you a flyer urging you to vote for a considerably lesshandsome stranger in the EUSA elections. You will say no thank you to the handsome stranger. ARIES Mar 21—April 20
Malaria. It's you this week.
malaria for
The galaxy is on Orion's
belt. The stars are out tonight. Mercury is in Uranus. Take some pills, pour yourself a glass of water, maybe stay in tonight. That shit is NOT cool. CANCER June 22—July 23
After
receiving some shocking news, you are determined to live life to the full. You get in touch with relatives, you finally pop the question to a loved one, and you marry your electronically tagged beloved in a televised ceremony in a hotel in Essex. LEO July 24—Aug 23
Because of certain quirks
in the lunar orbit, Leos will become exceptionally attractive this week. Not to humans, sadly, but to vindictive weather formations. Dark clouds will follow you wherever you go, and your house will be shrouded in thick fog. Best buy an umbrella. VIRGO Aug 24—Sep 23
You will have anal sex. You
TAURUS April 21—May 21
We all come to a cross-
roads in our life. The question is: are you decisive, strong-willed and courageous enough to make the tough choice and select the right path? Or will the moment pass you by because you were reading insincere horoscopes in the backwaters of a free newspaper?
will both be drunk and up for trying something new. Surprisingly, you will enjoy it, although you will be slightly worried when you find £150 left on your bedside table the next morning.
GEMINI Sept 24—Oct 23
You
will visit a fortune teller. He will predict the future with alarming accuracy, appearing to know everything about you. He will understand you in a way nobody has ever understood you. Things will end on an awkward note when he invites you to reach under the table and place your hands on his crystal balls. SCORPIO Oct 24—Nov 22
great fortune. Sadly, it won't be yours, but that of that smug-faced ballbag from RBS. WANKER. SAGITTARIUS Nov 23—Dec 21
Things
are certain to progress in your love life this week. For the first time, you will realise that electronic orgasms can never be as wholesome and fulfilling as having a proper, live human being in between your thighs, preferably one that brays like Nelson Mandela while you're doing it. CAPRICORN Dec 22—Jan 20
Oceans
will rise. Oceans will fall. You will find love. You will lose love. Snow Patrol will put out yet another lousy album. Smoking will be banned in yet more fucking places. Now. Please. Go and do some work. Being generally objectionable this week was Jonathan Liew.
The object of Hitori is to eliminate numbers by shading in the squares such that remaining cells do not contain numbers that appear more than once in either a given row or column.
Sudoku #6 Sudoku is a logic-based number-placement puzzle. The objective is to fill the 9×9 grid so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 boxes (also called blocks or regions) contains the digits from 1 to 9 only once.
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Blowing your tiny mind The human eye is one of nature's greatest achievements. The human brain, however, is a bit dodgy. Combine the two, throw in the element of suggestibility and you end up with perfectly intelligent people staring at a blue swirl on a computer monitor for the best part of a minute, saying 'woah, it's coming towards me'. But our optical illusions aren't just tricks. Think of them more as a filter of intellect. Those with truly great minds will see beyond the surface; those with mediocre minds will retreat into their deep, stinky cave of ignorance. So... Do you see: a) an old man; b) two lovers kissing; c) an old man kissing two lovers; d) an old man kissing another old man; e) God; f ) the future?
Caption competition # 4 This is your chance to show off your razor-sharp wit, your truly ridiculous imagination, your mastery of awful puns or your encyclopaedic knowledge of penis gags. This week's prize is 'eternal glory' (again) but watch this space for future prizes of nominal cash value! Send entries to editors@studentnewspaper.org with 'caption competition' in the subject line.
Not So Cryptic Crossword #6 ACROSS 1 8 10 12 13 15 18 21 22 27 29 30 31 33
Hitori # 6
Puzzles
An inexact result (13) Chatter (7) Pleasure ride (7) Family members (6) Resume (8) Toward the south (9) Very small island (5) Smith's block (5) Mishaps (9) Practise (8) Treated with salt (6) Submerging (7) Trumpet flourish (7) Sympathetic (6-7)
DOWN 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 11 14 16 17 19 20
Highland (7) Decay (3) Quantity (6) Pungent bulb (5) Uses money (6) Freshest (6) Reduce (6) Kilocalorie (4) Point in question (5) Possess (3) Two times (5) Consume (3) Midday nap (6)
This week, some carrot fellatio. You saw it here first.
Caption competition #3: Last week's winner 21 23 24 25
Take into custody (6) Cook (4) Lunatic (7) Abrupt (6)
26 Citrus fruit (6) 28 Pivot (5) 32 And not (3)
Solutions
What's the matter? Can't stand the heat? Eh?! Don't worry, the answers are all here in tiny, inverted writing. The Student accepts no responsibility for strained eyes or neck injuries sustained by those too stupid to turn this page upside down.
First place goes to Brad Alder, who came up with 'OK. We've done everything you asked. See - we're naked now. We're sorry. Just please don't shoot.' Because we're suffering from a woeful lack of entries, we present you with the usual coupon begrudgingly. Cut it out and swallow it, for it will make you strong.
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Tuesday March 03 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Sport 27
The greatest of comebacks?
Injury Time
Michael Klimes questions whether Lance Armstrong can relive his past glories
W
HEN ONE mentions sport’s legendary alumni - Muhammad Ali, Diego Maradona, Pele and Michael Schumacher - there is a great name missing - Lance Armstrong. The American, who had been retired for three years and who kept away from the sport as much as possible, has been back in the saddle for two months now. In January he competed in the Australian Down Under Tour, where he came 64th. His next big race was in February where he competed in the Tour of California. Armstrong came seventh but admitted he still had to work on his conditioning: “Obviously to win the Tour de France you have to be as strong as possible and as light as possible. I don’t necessarily need to get that much stronger but I have to get lighter. Three-and-a-half years away of not watching every gram of food you put in your body and the amount of wine you consume takes its toll, so you’ve got to get back into it.” Armstrong has looked heavier than he has over previous years. Armstrong’s first really significant test will be in May, at the Giro d’Italia. The Tour de France is immediately afterwards and Armstrong has suggested winning both the Giro and the Tour is something that can motivate him. If anything, competing in the Giro should prepare Armstrong for the Tour. He has never raced in this event before, preferring to focus his efforts on the Tour, so this is a new achievement to aim for. It is extremely precarious to announce any type of prediction, as Armstrong has only just started his comeback. For a top athlete to be inactive for three years is harmful in any sport, but Armstrong has the advantage of being in a sport that requires exceptional endurance - and endurance athletes get better with age. In an interview with Vanity Fair last year he argued his case: “Older athletes are performing very well. Ask serious sports physiologists and they’ll tell you age is a wives’ tale. I’m not going to lie. My back gets tired quicker than it used to and I get out of bed a little slower than I used to. But when I’m on the bike I feel just as good as I did before.” But perhaps the most intriguing aspect of Armstrong’s comeback is his
stated reason for doing so. He claims he is doing it to raise money for cancer and awareness of the disease. Armstrong must be cancer’s most famous survivor. In 1996 he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, which then spread throughout his stomach, lungs and brain. Because Armstrong says he ignored warning signals, his chances of survival dropped as low as 40%. His cycling achievements
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I'm not going to lie - my back gets tired quicker than it used to, and I get out of bed a little slower. But when I'm on the bike I feel just as good as I did before
have been given a fairytale quality by this miraculous recovery. However, there must be more to his comeback than that. Armstrong is the most competitive of professionals and the most consistent area of his life has been his cycling. His personal relationships, such as with American singer Sheryl Crow, have been far less successful than his career. There is no activity which pleases him more. There is perhaps an element of attachment to the limelight and money that he can earn while racing again, but boredom must also be factor. Since 2005 he has considered running for politics, run marathons and fought drug allegations, but none of these exhilarate him like cycling. Like many other athletes in retirement, Armstrong probably felt he had lost a part of his identity. If Armstrong can have a successful comeback, his stature will be even greater than it is now. Whatever happens, he will inevitably bring excitement wherever he goes.
LANCE ARMSTRONG BIOGRAPHY 1971 - Born Plano, Texas. 1992 - Finishes 14th in the Barcelona Olympics. 1993 - Wins world championship 1996 - Diagnosed with testicular cancer. Doctors give him a 40% chance of survival, but he recovers and is back on the bike 2 years later. 1999 - Wins his first Tour, but the absence of main rivals means he is yet to prove himself. 2000 - Wins his second Tour, beating Jan Ullrich by six minutes. 2001 - Wins the tour again. 2002 - And again. 2003 - And again. 2004 - And again. 2005 - Armstrong retires following win no. 7. Marries Sheryl Crow; they divorce in 2006. 2008 - Announces his return to cycling with the Astana team and intends to compete in the 2009 Tour.
Helmets off to Britain's champion bobsleighers SO, WITH all of the English clubs now posed to make it through to the last eight of the Champions League, you would assume that that would be the biggest reason for celebration in British sport. No English team has yet to be knocked out of the tournament by a European team in the current and previous year, underpinning the statement that the Premiership is the best league in the world. However, the sporting world delivered something even more incredible to celebrate, as Britain won gold in the Bobsleigh World Championships last week. Nicola Minichiello and Gillian Cooke, who is incidentally from Edinburgh, beat off fierce competition to become the first women from Britain to win the title. The last time Britain did achieve gold in a Bobsleigh World Championship was way back in 1965. This begs the question: where on earth did these women learn to do this? It is easy enough to decide to play a sport like football,
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Seriously, who decides that they want to be a professional bobsleigher?
HE'S BACK: Lance Armstrong will compete in the Tour de France later this year
Double success for Edinburgh runners
Michael Gillespie reports on the Hare and Hounds success in Falkirk A STRONG squad of athletes took to Callander Park in Falkirk last weekend, and several strong performances were witnessed, with the university bringing home two sets of team medals, most notably gold for the junior men’s squad. The junior women got the event started, where a team of Camilla Stewart (12th), Steph Davis (13th) and Laura Sharp (18th) finished in third place to take the bronze medals. First year PE student Sarah Inglis, running for her home club Lothian AC, ran exceptionally well, putting up a strong challenge in the race’s final stages, but eventually had to settle for individual silver. The story of the day for the Hare and Hounds came in the junior men’s race. Michael Gillespie (6th) was followed home strongly by Will Nicholson (10th), Doug Tullie (11th) and
TAKES A WRY LOOK AT THE WORLD OF SPORT
Matt Sutherland (16th). The team won by a mere two points, upsetting several of Scotland’s top endurance running clubs. University student Mark Haskett, running for his home club Aberdeen AC, finished strongly in 13th place, losing out in a final stage scrap with Nicholson and Tullie. There were several of the club’s members featuring in the senior men’s and women’s races. Jessie Van Binsbergen and Briony Curtis both ended their cross country seasons in style, finishing strongly in 21st and 26th places respectively. The men’s race saw an outstanding run from the improving Ben Cole, with a highly respectable 24th place in a competitive men’s field. He was backed up by strong runs from Yujiro Iida (38th), Ales Drahokoupil (51st) and Duncan Coombs (53rd).
rugby, golf or even basketball, with facilities and other competitors in abundant supply. But seriously, who decides that they want to be a professional bobsleigher? And more importantly, how do they ever start to practice? Do they literally just wait for a really icy day and decide that they enjoy going down steep hills at high speeds on nothing more then a metal sheet? Or do their parents take them to Switzerland and throw them down a circuit in a bobsleigh and see how far they get before they come flying off the track with no control whatsoever? I am sure Nicola and Gillian don’t care, as they are now world champions a year before the Winter Olympics take place in Vancouver. Hopefully Britain can improve on the one silver medal attained by Shelley Rudman in the women’s skeleton at Turin in 2006. In reality however, the winter sports are only fun to watch for the high speed crashes and ice hockey punch-ups. Without this, it is just a race for those who are just not quite fast enough to run the 100 metres at the proper Olympics, proved emphatically by some legendary film…
Ed Senior
Sport
studentnewspaper.org Tuesday March 03 2009
...But can he make it eight?
Michael Klimes reflects on Lance Armstrong's decision to return to cycling
P27
Lacrosse ladies reach BUCS semi-finals University of Edinburgh 2nds University of Liverpool 1sts
14 4
Alistair Shand THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh women’s seconds lacrosse team continued their impressive run in the BUCS knockout matches with a comfortable 14-4 win at home to University of Liverpool's first team. This resounding victory ensures that Edinburgh progress to the semi-finals of the tournament. Blustery and wet conditions at Peffermill failed to unsettle the hosts as they seized control of the game early on with purposeful running towards the Liverpool goal. While the first attack of the match was snuffed out, the second proved much more fruitful as Fargus picked up a loose ball and fired home for 1-0. However, the visitors wasted no time in hitting back as slack defensive work was punished to level the game at 1-1. Despite this equaliser, Edinburgh were not disheartened and increased the tempo of their game. The home side regained the lead minutes later with Thornton Berry finishing well and this lead grew to 3-1 soon after thanks to a Simmons goal. The momentum was very much with the home side and with a twogoal cushion behind them Edinburgh pushed forward, looking for further goals. This determined attacking play was rewarded as Probert fired home following good incisive running and the lead had increased to 5-1 as halftime arrived. It was a case of more of the same in the second period, as Edinburgh continued to flood forward in search of goals to further consolidate their commanding advantage. Shortly after half-time another clever move in the Liverpool goalmouth provided the opening for goal number six and a chance to build what already looked like an insurmountable lead for the hosts. However, Edinburgh seemed to lose some momentum following this goal and this, coupled with complacency, threatened to let Liverpool back into the match. A mixture of poor Edinburgh defence and potent attacking meant that the visitors reduced the deficit to 6-3 midway through the second half. Nevertheless Edinburgh regained their composure and began to apply renewed pressure to the visitors who had looked like they might be able to engineer a way back into the match. The home side focused on keeping
possession, and this patience in the final third received its rewards as the goals began to flow once more. First it was Williams who finished well from a well-disguised cutback to make the score 7-3, and the same player then scored a fortuitous second. A long ball was angled towards the Liverpool goal and deflected off the raised stick of Williams to trickle home and meant that the home team regained their five-goal lead. In truth, the outcome of the match was sealed, but Liverpool continued to battle and hit back as the game moved into the last ten minutes so that the score stood at 8-4. Despite this minor lapse, Edinburgh piled
pressure on the visiting goalkeeper and continued to push bodies forward on every attacking opportunity. The clinical finishing of Murray, in particular, helped Edinburgh to stretch the lead and add a gloss to the margin of victory. The most notable of the impressive forward’s goals was drilled high into the roof of the net from a tight angle. The gulf in quality and fitness between the teams became more and more apparent as Edinburgh were able to apply pressure to their opponents right up until the final whistle. Indeed, Edinburgh’s superior energy and possession were rewarded with further goals as the match threatened
to turn into a rout. Seconds before the final whistle the hosts fired home the final goal of this eventually one-sided match courtesy of a set-piece which was scored by Thornton Berry. The match ended with Edinburgh triumphing 14-4 over their BUCS rivals. The lopsided scoreline was welldeserved by an energetic and skilful Edinburgh team who never allowed Liverpool to settle. Also, the regularity with which the hosts pushed numbers forward in attack was impressive and allowed them to pull away in the final minutes of the match. Edinburgh will now be looking forward to another Scotland-England matchup, as they prepare to
face a last-four clash against Durham, who disposed of Cambridge. The match will be played at Peffermill tomorrow (Wednesday) at 2pm. Should they get through their semifinal tie, they will take on either Bristol of Exeter who face each other in the remaining semi. Having come through their Scottish Conference with a perfect record, conceding just eight goals in their six games, Edinburgh will be confident going into the match but will have to be wary of a Durham side who have themselves lost only once this season and who recorded an astonishing 31-1 victory over Aberdeen in the earlier stages of the competition.
JAMES POPE
Women’s Lacrosse
GOALMOUTH SCRAMBLE: Action from Edinburgh's resounding victory over Liverpool which sent them into the BUCS semi finals