Week 4 - The Student - 2009/2010

Tuesday October 13 2009 | Week 4

"It makes you paranoid " What happens when you put your entire student loan under the mattress F E AT U R E S

22

"Anger is like electricity - it can be powerful if used constructively" Interview with Arun Gandhi

P13 P11

F E AT U R E S

S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2009 S I N C E 1887

T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ER

THE PRICE ISN'T RIGHT: £216 a week will get you a room in John Burnett House

Edinburgh University charges students £9,300 to share room Fern Brady BROKEN LIFTS, “prison-like” doors and faulty radiators - it’s the most expensive student accommodation outside of London and things are already going wrong. John Burnett House, the new building at Pollock Halls, is charging students as much as £216 per week for a single room. Further, two students who share a room told The Student they are paying a staggering £9,300 for just 34 weeks’ stay.

Law student Douglas Kyle described the secure layout of the building as “prison-like” and told The Student “I can only access my floor with my card which is quite anti-social...there have been quite a few complaints about it as you can’t move between floors to visit your friends”. Kyle, from Glasgow, admits that his parents were “slightly shocked on first hearing the overall

price”. His brother, who is currently in his final year at Edinburgh, paid around £4,500 to stay in Pollock Halls in his first year. Three years on and Kyle is paying more than double this amount at a staggering £10,000 to rent a standard ensuite room from September to May. The building, which houses a large number of international students, has benefited from parents with no prior knowledge of Edinburgh rental prices anxious to ensure that their children are being looked after. Italian Erasmus student Elena Santoro remarked that “my parents did think the rent was a lot but they said I’d starve if I didn’t go into catered accommodation” adding that “they could only use one credit card to pay for it and it’s blocked because of the payments”.

A University spokesperson claimed “our student residences include some of the most affordable in the UK” despite a report last week by The Sunday Times which revealed that Edinburgh is exceeded only by properties in London, including one endorsed by UCL that charges £548 per week for a single room. Additionally, the University cited examples of ‘cheap’ accommodation as

FOR THE SAME PRICE: Y You could have won this lovely New Town flat

EUSA staff confused over hour cuts Neil Pooran STAFF AT the Student’s Association are complaining of ‘not knowing who to trust’, after a string of confused messages from management left some thinking they would be forced out of their jobs by new working regulations.

EUSA’s Vice-President for Services is seeking to reassure existing staff that their jobs are not under threat by the new guidelines, which seek to enforce a maximum 15-hour working week for students.

The policy will apparently only apply to incoming EUSA staff, and means students should not be scheduled to work for more than 15 hours a week.

EUSA are changing their employment guidelines for new student staff in light of advice from the University, which suggests that working for longer than 15 hours a week could harm

students’ academic life.

EUSA VPS James Wallace said: “The University has guidance that students should not work longer than 15 hours a week due to the effect that long working hours have on a students study.

“EUSA also has this guidance on 15 hour weeks and it would be irresponsible if we required students to work longer than the maximum that both us and the University say students should have to work.

“We are not forcing students out of work. The current policy is that new students entering our employment are only on a rota to work for 15 hours.

This will ensure that we are complying with both University guidance and our own advice. It would be extremely hypocritical of us to tell students they should not have to work more than 15 hours and force them to do so when they actually work for us.”

One EUSA bar staff member, who declined to be named for legal reasons,

told The Student: “Bar staff were told on Friday night (4 October) that the 15 hour scheme was a ‘proposal’ and would not go ahead without proper consultation and notice. 24 hours later we were told the policy was ‘definitely’ going ahead, possibly within 2-3 weeks. There was to be no discussion and what we were told the day before was false.”

After hearing of Wallace’s statement later in the week, the same staff member said: “We were definitely told this would affect present staff last Saturday.

Perhaps we will be told otherwise this weekend.

“The problem has been poorly communicated to us and given that EUSA's position has changed already many of us don't know who to trust or what to think.”

Wallace defended the new working hours policy, but admitted that mistakes were made in communicating with staff. He said: “This policy is Continued on page 2 »

DEADLINE SCOTLAND

Which of these is worth £11k a year?

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

news@studentnewspaper.org

2

NEWS »p1–6

»

DRINK DRIVING p4

Julia Cobb reports on the extent to which the ambulance service are plagued by alcohol-related call-outs

EUSA BYE-ELECTION SUCCESS p5

A record turnout for the recent Students' Association shows a significant increase from previous years

DOWN THE PITS p6

Joanna Sweeney reports from the protests down at the Ravenstruther coal loading terminal

COMMENT »p8-9 LIFE! DEATH! PRIZES! p8

Susan Robinson takes on the seedy side of 'human interest' magazines

ARTS&FEATURES »p11-24

ZOMBIE NATION p18

When the infection hits, only a Michael Cera impersonator and a man from Cheers can save us

VAMPIRE WEEKEND p23 Fern Brady strays to close to the open window and is bitten

by US vampire series True Blood

ADVERT EFFECTS p24 Stuart Young tries to see past the onslaught of online advertising heading our way

SPORT »p26-28 EDINBURGH THRASH NAPIER p27 Ed Senior on a fantastic football game against Napier University

The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org

Edinburgh scientists discover bone disease link Guy Rughani

SCIENTISTS AT the University of Edinburgh have published research uncovering the link between coeliac disease and osteoporosis.

The study, published in the New England Journal of Medicine suggests that coeliacs produce antibodies to the bone protein, osteoprotegerin.

In a normal individual, osteoprotegerin controls the rate of bone removal, but in coeliac disease, antibodies attack the protein and stop it from working effectively, and lead to the disabling bone crumbling disease, osteoporosis.

The team found that 20 per cent of coeliac patients tested produced antibodies to osteoprotegerin.

"This is a very exciting step forward,” said Professor Stuart Ralston from the university backed Institute of Genetics and Molecular Medicine.

“Not only have we discovered a new reason to explain why osteoporosis occurs in coeliac disease, but we have also found that it responds very well to drugs that prevent bone tissue removal.”

Indeed, the team believes that tests for these antibodies in coeliac patients could act as useful markers of future osteoporotic risk.

Coeliac disease affects one in 100 people, many of whom go on to develop osteoporotic symptoms which leave the individual highly prone to fractures.

Coeliacs suffer from an adverse reaction to gluten, so eating food containing gluten can result in damage

BUSINESSWEEK.COM

What’s in this issue

to the absorptive villi, essential in the digestive tract.

The National Osteoporosis Society welcomed the news, saying: "We already know that coeliac disease is a risk factor for osteoporosis and that early diagnosis and treatment of coeliac disease gives the best chance of

Which of these is worth £11k?

Continued from front page »

examples of ‘cheap’ accommodation as £56.42 per week - for a shared selfcatering room. In other words, that’s almost £250 per month to share a room with a stranger when the average cost of renting a double bedroom in Edinburgh is only £320.

The University insists that “John Burnett House was completed and handed over to the University on the 17th July 2009. The building was complete and fitted out for the beginning of the 2009/10 academic year”.

“The building work has run over quite a bit - they’re still building now” says Kyle. Elena adds that “they are still working on things outside as well.

The radiators were stuck on full last month when we moved in and it was so hot.” Despite paying £200 a week for a cramped single room, Business and Accounting student Nikki Wallace says that the radiators in her room make a constant noise. “It’s like a banging sound from within the radiator. I think other people in the corridor have had it as well...it has been happening all night during the night.”

History and Economics student Izzy Thomas, who is paying around £200 per week for a room with a balcony - but no bathroom - complained that “the lift keeps breaking on the fourth floor”.

While the University acknowledged that “currently landscaping is in the final stages of completion”, they failed to respond to The Student’s queries regarding other faults.

In spite of the basic rooms and un-

finished work, the luxury price tag has made John Burnett House the envy of other students. “I think a lot of people think it’s fancier than it is” muses Santoro. “There are a lot of rumours going around that we have champagne parties in this building.”

Thomas concurs with this. “Everyone from the other houses hate us.

Even the people from Chancellor’s Court.” news@studentnewspaper.org

ACCOMMODATION THE STUDENT FOUND FOR THE SAME PRICE Excluding the cost of food, bills and hiring a cleaner: •

Four double-bedrooms, an Aga, a pantry, steam room, two bathrooms with beautiful views over Moray House Gardens and an open outlook to the Firth of Fourth

•

A West End town house featuring bedroom with private balcony overlooking a secluded garden

•

An elegant West End home with four doublebedrooms, kitchen, dining room with access to 17 acres of private Gardens

improving bone density.”

"A better understanding of the relationship between coeliac disease and osteoporosis will enable clinicians to manage both conditions more effectively.” news@studentnewspaper.org

Continued from front page »

entirely about ensuring that EUSA does not put itself in a position where we may jeopardise any student’s chances of achieving the best degree that they can while at University but this was never intended to leave students in a difficult position financially.

“There are a handful of current student employees who wish to work for longer than 15 hours and have been doing so for a while. For this reason the policy is not being enforced for current employees at the present time.

“One of the great benefits of working with EUSA is the flexibility that is offered to students. At exam times and essay dates they are able to reduce their working time easily. The priority of students fundamentally is their studies.”

He also defended the legality of the scheme, and said that any further issues would be dealt with internally.

A new manager arriving on Monday is expected to make a final decision.

EUSA staff are prevented from speaking to student media by their contracts, which stipulate that only sabbatical officers can give statements on behalf of the organisation. However staff contacted The Student after hearing of the plans, saying: “little time has been allowed for us to seek advice on such matters. The Advice Place cannot help us because they are run by EUSA.” As The Student went to press, some staff had decided to start an official complaints procedure within the organization. news@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

news@studentnewspaper.org

News 3

'Rebel Clown Army' disrupts Careers Fair ACTIVISTS DRESSED as clowns attacked stands at the Careers Fair last Wednesday to protest against ‘unethical’ companies seeking to recruit Edinburgh students.

Student societies People&Planet and EU Palestine Solidarity Society joined forces in a two-pronged ‘clowning’ attack that saw over twenty protestors storm the Royal Bank of Scotland and BAE stands at 4:30pm.

Exhibitors and students were alarmed as they took control of the second floor by tooting whistles, chanting slogans such as ‘Down with BAE’ and distributing flyers amongst job seeking students.

They also created a blockade in the hallway by lying down at the entrance, preventing students from leaving the building.

The disruption lasted about thirty minutes, before protestors were ejected from the building by university security.

One security guard was overheard saying: “Well done, good demonstration, now you’re just causing a blockade so please leave and make way for other students who want to use the facility.”

Members of student society People&Planet also held a separate protest stand outside Adam House from 1:30pm against the recently nationalised bank RBS. Alongside the stand a display banner read: “Welcome to the unethical careers fair”, protesting against the fact that RBS are funding the root causes of climate change, being the UK’s largest investors in oil and gas extraction.

Since the bank’s bailout in November 2008, 70 per cent of RBS has been owned by the UK Government and campaigners say it has invested over £10 billion in fossil fuel companies.

Campaign groups are lobbying for RBS to turn green by investing in solutions to climate change.

The protestors didn’t receive a positive reaction from everyone, however. Ian

CLOWNING AROUND: Protesters caused a full 30 minutes of ruckus before being evicted by university security.

Powell, a visitor to the Careers Fair told The Student: “The way they went about this was just daft. We’re in the middle of a recession and people are desperate to get any job they can, they shouldn’t be made to feel intimidated just because they’re thinking about their careers” Richard Atkinson, a first year MA German and English Student and People &Planet activist told The Student: “RBS is funding climate change by investing in projects that just shouldn’t be happening. What's more, when they

fund oil fields they are displacing and destroying indigenous communities and they are using tax payers money although tax payers have not been consulted about this.”

He continued: “I’m dressed as an RBS worker today, and I’m going to go inside later on and pretend to be on the RBS stand but distribute our flyers, to really spread our message across.”

Despite this, RBS and BAE Systems were determined to remain unfazed by the protestors.

Scottish Labour’s Education spokesperson, Clare Baker, said: “What students want just now is pounds in their pockets. Without this they will continue to be compelled to take out commercial debt and in a number of cases be forced to drop out.

Under the Scottish Government's proposals the poorest students will only get £8.50 a week more to spend.”

“The proposals outlined by the Scottish Government fall far short of the £7,000 minimum income for Scotland’s poorest students called for

by Labour and opposition parties, however we will look closely at Fiona Hyslop’s proposals and ensure that students get the maximum possible help with hardship. The options put forward still means that a student in receipt of full Young Person's Bursary still gets £1,200 less than in the rest of the UK. This is unacceptable.

“The extra money for childcare is a positive step. This has come about thanks to the strong campaign run by Labour, other opposition parties, NUS and student leaders.”

EUSA President Thomas Graham told The Student that “We have to recognize that an extra £30 million funding to support students has to be a positive thing regardless of how the money is being spent. We always knew

this wasn’t going to be enough money to solve all of the problems that exist or address the issues the Scottish government promised in its manifesto.”

Whilst the extra funds for students with children were described as being “exactly what we asked for”, Graham said that the other £28 million “doesn’t go far enough and doesn’t do the things we had hoped for. No student is going to see more than £442 extra in cash each year. Given we have so many students who have to work long hours to stay out of commercial debt, we argued that more money should come in terms of a loan. Our preferred option would have been for the poorest students to receive up to £7,000 a year.”

“It’s difficult not to express slight disappointment, as I feel the money could have gone further to make a bigger impact on more students.”

President of the National Union of Students in Scotland Liam Burns said that “Some hard decisions have had to be made about the best use of these funds. We do remain concerned about using the available funds to benefit those students who need it most, and will continue to work with the Government on the specifics of the support they are offering.”

Support for Scottish students set to increase

Anna MacSwan and Neil Pooran

SCOTTISH STUDENTS are to be eligible for bigger student loans and more grants, following new measures announced by the Scottish Government this week.

Education Secretary Fiona Hyslop announced that the £30 million made available for student funding will be directed towards increasing the income of the poorest students, saying “We recognise the pressures on students during the current economic climate, including the fact that it is now more difficult for them to find part-time work”.

Opposition parties, however, have criticized the proposals as not going far enough to tackle student hardship.

An extra £2million is to be allocated to students with additional childcare costs. .

Increased grants will be made available for students receiving the Young Students Bursary and, for the first time, there will be a grant for independent students.

Additionally, the maximum level for income-assessed student loans would increase by £442 to £4,952.

The Scottish Government claims that 68 per cent of Scotland’s student population will benefit, as over 75,000 students will see their income increase in the next academic year.

news@studentnewspaper.org

JULIA SANCHES

Alexandra Taylor

One RBS exhibitor, who did not wish to be named, said: “We’re just here to talk about graduate applications and to look for 900 people to recruit to our staff, and I do respect everyone’s right to free speech.”

The EU Palestine Solidarity Society were campaigning against BAE systems because of its position as the UK’s biggest arms company.

The company is currently being investigated by the Serious Fraud Office for bribery, corruption and ‘concealing the

truth’ about £43 billion arms deals with Saudi Arabia and six other countries.

The Careers Service, which organizes the Fair, had been hoping for a positive reaction to this years event after having extended the opening hours from 1:30 to 7pm.

One student said: “They don’t even look like clowns; it looks like they got their outfits from River Island”.

Jordan Campbell

ratings have seen its ranking within the UK suffer in recent years.

In response to Edinburgh’s position, Vice-Chancellor Timothy O’Shea commented: “This is recognition not only of the University's performance, but also of the high standard of teaching and research that characterises Scottish higher education, and helps position Scotland as a leading player in the new global knowledge economy.”

The world top 100 contains 18 UK universities - one more than in 2008.

Edinburgh is the highest ranked Scottish institution with Glasgow moving down six places to 79 and St. Andrews falling four places to 87.

Outside the top 100, the University of Aberdeen experienced the greatest rise of any UK institution moving up 24 places to 129.

American universities still dominate the list with 36 in the top 100.

Notably, however, the list also reflects a rise in the standing of Asian universities, with higher rankings for many Chinese, Japanese and Korean institutions.

Harvard University topped the list for the sixth consecutive year, followed by the University of Cambridge in second place and Yale University in third.

news@studentnewspaper.org

Edinburgh enters world top twenty THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh has climbed three places to number 20 in the Times Higher Education-QS university world rankings.

The table, first compiled in 2003, is based on surveys of academics’ and employers’ opinions on the best graduates.

They also take into consideration the amount of research, ratios of student to staff and the number of international students at each institution.

It is a welcome result for Edinburgh after poor student satisfaction

THE WORLD TOP FIVE 2009 1

Harvard University

2

University of Cambridge

3

Yale University

4

University College London

5 = Imperial College London 5 = University of Oxford

news@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

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4 News

Over two thirds of all ambulance call-outs in Scotland are alcohol related

FlickR: JungleBoy

Julia Cobb

THE AMBULANCE Service released figures last week showing that 68 per cent of ambulance call-outs during weekends in Scotland are alcoholrelated. The news came during what Lothians NHS has christened ‘Alcohol Awareness Week’, which took place from 4 to 10 October.

The figures from the Scottish Ambulance Service were based on records kept by ambulance crews beginning in April of this year. Data was collected Fridays, Saturdays and in the early hours of Sunday morning.

The Scottish Ambulance Service has said that these alcohol-related calls, which typically stem from injuries from alcohol-related violence or accidents, are impairing the Service’s ability to attend to other emergencies.

Statistics about the number of alcohol-related ambulance call-outs in Edinburgh were not available from Lothians NHS. However figures released in September by the Scottish Government show that people in central Edinburgh are twice as likely to die of alcohol consumption than the rest of the country. Alcohol-related deaths in central Edinburgh are 226 per cent above the average for the whole of the UK and more than a third of people admitted to hospital in the Lothians with alcohol-related illnesses are repeat admissions.

Anne McLaughlin, an MSP for Glasgow, recently joined an ambulance crew on a Saturday night.

“Spending the night working with Glasgow’s paramedics showed me how much of their time is spent dealing with

the impact of alcohol,” she told the BBC, “I want our emergency services to be dealing with people who really need them, not having to spend all their time mopping up the damage caused by alcohol” McLaughlin’s concern is echoed by Lothian NHS, which has just finished hosting its third annual Alcohol Awareness Week.

“

I want our emergency services to be dealing with people who really need them" Anne McLaughlin MSP

According to the NHS, Alcohol Awareness Week is “an initiative that brings together Scottish Government, the alcohol industry, health professionals and the voluntary sector to promote a joined-up message about drinking alcohol responsibly.”

The campaign aims to encourage the Scottish public to drink less and to drink less often by making small lifestyle changes, including eating before drinking and using ‘spacers’, soft drinks or glasses of water consumed between alcoholic drinks, to help curb instances of overconsumption. The theme for this year’s Alcohol Awareness Week was ‘Get More Out Of Life’, which encouraged Scots to get more out of their time, relationships, work and activities by managing the amount of alcohol they consume. news@studentnewspaper.org

Lucas' ex death shocks student friends

Home Secretary promises to end Pakistani student visa fiasco

Gordon McLean

Thomas Martin

TV Producer Kevin McGee, the 'ex-husband' of Little Britain star Matt Lucas, committed suicide by hanging himself in his Bruntsfield flat last week.

The 32 year-old's death shocked his student neighbors. Over the last fourteen months, he had sunk into depression and debt fuelled by cocaine addiction.

McGee posted an ominous update on his Facebook page less than four hours before his body was found by police. At 4.26am his profile status was changed to: "Kevin McGee thinks that death is much better than life." A shocked pal responded on the page, writing: "That's a bit dark Kevin."

When officers arrived at the flat in Edinburgh, they found the 32-yearold dead.

Neighbours were shocked by the news. Student Chris Gimby, 18, said: “We invited him out a couple of times for a few drinks and he was the nicest guy ever. Police were banging on his door in the morning . He would introduce himself as a kids’ rep. But I never saw him working or going to work. It’s just so shocking”.

Only a week earlier McGee had

seemed in good spirits, declaring playfully on the same site: "Kevin thinks there's nothing he can't face... except for bunnies."

Friends say McGee, who had undergone spells in rehab, regularly blew huge sums on cocaine and would stay high for days without sleeping.

Another resident added: “He had hit rock bottom and was taking a lot of drugs to keep going. We heard much of his money had gone on drugs and a carefree lifestyle.”

Friends said that Lucas, 35, who returned to BBC2 this summer in spoof game show Shooting Stars, split with his partner over his drug-taking.

McGee reportedly found it difficult to deal with his partner's celebrity status, particularly the drug and drink fuelled parties.

Lucas is reported to be devastated by the news and has withdrawn from his theatre role in London. The producers released a statement saying: "Until further notice, his role of Kenneth Halliwell in the West End production of Prick Up Your Ears will be played by his understudy, Michael Chadwick."

McGee is believed to have spoken to friends about suicide before last week. news@studentnewspaper.org

HOME SECRETARY Alan Johnson has promised to reduce the time it takes to process visa applications made by Pakistani citizens, after a backlog of 14,000 applications prevented thousands of students from beginning their courses at UK universities last week.

Speaking after talks in Islamabad, Mr Johnson promised to cut waiting times from two months to 15 days by next month.

"We are now down to between 14 and 28 days. Our objective is by November to ensure that we are providing the same services we aim to provide around the world... 15 working days from the time the application is made to the time it's produced.”

He also denied that the delays were a result of moving the visa office from Pakistan to Abu Dhabi last year after terrorist attacks in Islamabad.

“It really has very little to do with moving the visa centre to Abu Dhabi... the problem here was a particular failing with new technology.”

British High Commission spokesman Rob Murphy said the UK Borders Agency (UKBA) was hiring an extra 100 staff to clear the backlog and

was now prioritizing visa applications from students.

These developments come too little too late for many Pakistani students.

Some have had to miss important introductory weeks at UK universities or forfeit their places entirely.

Abid Nazir, a 26-year-old Ac-

“

Many of my friends from Pakistan have had their applications rejected for no reason, and had to give up their places at UK universities " Abid Nazir, post-grad student

counting and Finance student at the University of Edinburgh, told The Student that the problem is not a new one: “When I applied for my visa last year, I only received it a day before my course began, so I arrived in Edinburgh late for my studies.

“My application was rejected the

first time and I couldn’t get back the £120 I spent on Visa fees.

"This year, many of my friends from Pakistan have had their applications rejected for no reason, and had to give up their places at UK universities."

Mr Johnson outlined the view of the UK government in an editorial in a Pakistani newspaper last week: "The British government welcomes Pakistanis travelling and studying in the UK legitimately.

“But we need also to protect the UK border against those who do not meet the visa regulations or pose a risk to our security."

Four Pakistani students arrived late for their studies at the University of Edinburgh this year and another is still expected to arrive.

A spokesperson from the University of Edinburgh told The Student: “We are aware that a small number of postgraduate students who applied from Pakistan to the university have had problems with the visa situation.

"It is our understanding that those student’s issues have now been resolved and the affected students are either now attending University or expected to arrive very soon." news@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

news@studentnewspaper.org

News 5

Record turnout for EUSA byeelections

IN

Brief

Student loans to go private GORDON BROWN has announced that the student loan book for England and Wales is to be sold to the highest bidder as part of a government auction that hopes to raise £16 billion.

Other government assets will be sold in what is being described as a 'defecit reduction plan.'

The news was breaking as The Student went to press and it is currently unclear what effect, if any, this will have on student loan repayments.

LAST WEEK’S Students' Association Bye-Elections witnessed a 34 per cent increase in election turnout from last year.

Over 2,500 students voted for a range of positions on the Student’s Representative Council (SRC) including first-year rep positions as well as electing national delegates for Scotland and the UK. Matthew McPherson, SRC Editor, was delighted with the large turnout commenting how the elections highlight the importance of the work of the SRC and the wider Association.

"Critics say that high turnout in elections point to unhappy electorate," he said, "but I believe the opposite is true and this shows students being actively engaged with EUSA and student politics.

“There were real choices for voters with strong candidates standing for many positions.”

Last year’s presidential candidate Liz Rawlings was elected in three positions, signalling a possible return to the campaign trail for Ms Rawlings in the main elections next year. A relatively large number of positions were contested, with only a handful of candidates being returned unopposed.

The results were announced to an expectant crowd of candidates in a suspenseful ceremony on Thursday evening at Teviot. Many students were obviously pleased with the results, particularly with the new Action Groups

CHRIS KAY

Harrison Kelly

REPRESENTIN': Meet your new student representatives. There are too many to name here. which now sit on the SRC to represent the interests of minority groups.

Kate Harris, newly elected LGBT Action Group Convenor, said she was very happy to be elected, elatedly teliing The Student: “Many students are under-represented on the SRC and the Association needs to do more to address this.”

Women’s Action Group Convenor Alana Apfel added that there was "real possibility and potential for change, and the Actions Groups represent this.”

Not everyone on the SRC was in favour of the creation of Action

ELECTIONS IN NUMBERS • 106 seats • 36 seats vacant • 13 positions elected • 40 seats contested • 117 candidacies • 92 members standing

Groups but McPherson, whose job it is to publicise the SRC’s activities, was thrilled with the student interest, saying it was “an encouraging step in the right direction, showing that EUSA is moving issues that students care about, from the fringes of the Associaton to its very heart."

The newly elected members will assume their seats with immediate effect until the main elections in February.

With over 24,000 student eligible to vote, the turnout still only represents a tiny fraction of the student opulation. news@studentnewspaper.org

Tories propose loan reform in effort to increase student places Jordan Campbell

ONE IS READY FOR POWER: David Cameron puts on his game face

SOCIAL ENTERPRISE COALITION

THE CONSERVATIVE Party has promised to create 10,000 extra student places if elected, which will be funded by a discount for students who make early loan repayments.

The new policy, unveiled at the annual party conference in Manchester, would offer a discount of 10 percent to students making upfront or early repayments over £500.

It is claimed that if 10 per cent of students took advantage of this scheme, this would raise the £300million necessary to fund 10,000 additional places for the next academic year.

This year, a rise in applicants of over 60,000 was met only by an extra 13,000 places being made available.

Speaking at the conference, Shadow Education minister David Willets said: "This summer has seen a crisis in university places. The government's failure to create a fair and affordable system means that thousands of young people with good exam results have been unable to get the education they need.

“With one in six young people not in education, employment or training, it is vital that we prevent a similar crisis next year."

President of Universities UK Professor Steve Smith welcomed the propos-

als, stating: "This commitment to higher education is extremely encouraging at a time of competing pressures on the public purse in a period of economic austerity."

Concerns have been raised, however, by some as to how students would be able to pay back repayments quicker.

EUSA President Thomas Graham told The Student that whilst he welcomes any commitment to extra places, “it is only the rich people that are going to be able to pay back quicker.”

He also added that he would like the student loans system to be much more rigorously means-tested with loans only being awarded to students who need them most.

The President also added that he would like the student loans system to be much rigorously means-tested with loans only being awarded to students who really rely upon them.

A commitment to extra student places indicates a significant shift in Conservative education policy, given consistent opposition in the past to Labour's commitment to widen participation in higher education to 50 percent.

There was no mention at the conference of what a future Conservative government would propose regarding tuition fees. news@studentnewspaper.org

Chancellor struggles with TV

NP

THE UNIVERSITY'S Chancellor, the Duke of Edinburgh, has complained that modern television sets are too complicated for him to operate.

Speaking to Channel Four's Grand Designs presenter Kevin McCloud, Prince Philip said he had been reduced to crawling around on the floor with a torch in his mouth in an effort to fix his TV set.

In a slightly rambling interview, he said he could only get his TV to work properly after employing a 'ten-year-old grandson' to help connect it.

The Prince, who is head of the Chartered Society of Designers, was speaking to mark the golden jubilee of a Design Council competition he runs.

As Chancellor of the University of Edinburgh he is formally at the very top of the organisation, though the role is usually purely ceremonial.

NP

Students and city leaders unite STUDENTS AND city leaders gathered last week to discuss 'town and gown' relationships between Edinburgh's student and local population.

The annual Student City Forum, organised by EUSA, sought to encourage integration between the two communities. Several city councillors and representatives from local community councils met with Students' Association officers and student volunteers to discuss how to work together.

EUSA also revealed research it conducted into opinions of students and local residents.

The study, wich was funded by a City Council grant, found amoung other things that students disliked parking problems and noisy surroundings the most about their local areas.

NP

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

6

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News

Edinburgh students join coal mine protestors

CLIMATE CHANGE campaigners including students and recent graduates from the University of Edinburgh carried out a peaceful blockade of Ravenstruther coal loading terminal last Monday.

“

We urgently need to switch to renewable energy and close existing mines. We shouldn't even be thinking about opening new ones."

Bill Reid

The blockade aimed to disrupt the coal processing operations of Scottish Coal, which markets itself as the "largest coal producer in Scotland and largest open coal mining company in the U.K." A peaceful protest using arm-tubes, bodies and bike locks resulted in work being stopped for the day. Demonstrators say an estimated 6,380 tonnes of coal was successfully prevented from being loaded, roughly equating to 11,675,400 kg of CO2.

Students are still involved in an ongoing protest at Mainshill Solidarity Camp, a camp established to stop Scottish Coal creating new open cast mines in the area.

The establishment of 27 new open cast coal mines has been proposed for Scotland, thirteen of which have already been approved. Concerns have been raised over both the ecological impact on the Scottish countryside and the health of local residents.

The Douglas area is already home to five open cast mines. Medical research has found a correlation between open cast mines and health complications such as asthma and various cardiopulmonary diseases.

Mines currently running in Scotland produce around five million tonnes of coal every year. The planned increase in the number of mines could extract 22 million tonnes of coal over a few years.

Concerns have been raised that the opening of new mines would make it impossible for Scotland to meet its target of an 80 per cent reduction in carbon emissions by 2050.

Bill Reid, a demonstrator on site at the blockades, said: "We urgently need to switch to renewable energy and close existing mines; we shouldn’t even be thinking about opening new ones.”

Scottish Coal have so far declined to discuss the protest with the media. news@studentnewspaper.org

WHAT A TUBE: Protestors relax with water and newspapers at the Ravenstruther blockade

Carbon 'capture and store' scheme The cost of a degree: loses out on EU funding a mere $25 Potential to store 200 years' worth of industrial carbon emissions Max McColl

PLANS TO launch the controversial Carbon Capture and Storage (CCS) technology at Scotland’s Longannet power station suffered a blow this week, as the site missed out on £160 million of EU funds in favour of a rival project at Hatfield in Yorkshire.

The development of CCS in Scotland was recently endorsed by University of Edinburgh scientists, whose research highlighted the environmental and economic benefits of the technology.

They found that rocks beneath the North Sea have the capacity to store carbon emissions from UK industries for the next 200 years, and that CCS as an industry has the potential to support ten thousand jobs in the region through the construction of plants and transport infrastructure.

However, the idea of CCS as a means of reducing greenhouse gas emissions is relatively young, and Longannet’s owners Scottish Power have been bid-

ding to secure funds for development from both the UK government and the European Commission.

World Wildlife Fund director Richard Dixon commented to The Scotsman that "It is disappointing Longannet has not been chosen this time around. We sincerely hope it will get some form of support to properly test this technology soon."

Scottish Power will instead apply for funding of £1 billion being offered by the UK’s Department for Energy and Climate Change (DECC).

There is uncertainty, however, as to whether the DECC competition will be delayed after German energy firm E.on postponed plans last week to build an entirely new coal-fired power station, as well as expressing interest in the development of CSS at Kingsnorth in Kent.

Scottish Power announced at the start of the summer that it would fund the establishment of a Chair in Carbon Capture and Storage at the University of Edinburgh.

A spokesperson for the company refused to comment on whether funding would depend on Longannet securing the £1 billion, but merely said that plans for the Chair were "ongoing" and that they were "fully committed to the UK government

competition", and believed they had an "excellent bid".

Meanwhile, the European Commission on Wednesday called for a threefold increase in annual funding for low carbon schemes, including

“

It is disappointing Longannet has not been chosen this time around. We sincerely hope it will get some form of support to properly test this technology soon."

Richard Dixon, WWF

CCS, to inject an extra £50 billion over the next 10 years.

This comes a week after Edinburgh University researchers called on the government to increase CCS funding tenfold to meet emissions targets. news@studentnewspaper.org

Calum Leslie STUDENTS FROM around the world could soon obtain a degree for as little as $25 following plans for a new ‘University of the People’.

The online university, set up

by Californian businessman Shai Reshef, has enrolled 178 students from nearly 50 countries for this year, currently offering two four-year undergraduate programmes in business administration and computer science.

The only payment required is a registration fee of $15 to $50, and an exam fee of up to $100, dependent on the student’s location.

All teaching is done online, via virtual lectures and social networking updated by nearly 800 academic volunteers.

The programme has been highlighted as a possible solution to the ever increasing shortage of university places.

However, the university still lacks official recognition and is currently seeking around $5 million of funding.

President of Edinburgh University Students Association (EUSA)

Thomas Graham told The Student that “while anything that allows people to learn generally about subjects online has to be a good thing, it has to be remembered that the vast majority of universities already make online resources available. At Edinburgh, for example, podcasts and lecture slides can be accessed for free on WebCT." He also highlighted the limited student experience that an internet degree would entail, commenting that it "just wouldn’t be the same as being part of the university community, and that involves a lot more than just student bars; it involves working with your peers, meeting new people and joining societies."

“Not only do you get a better student experience from being a part of an institution like Edinburgh, but you’ve also got access to world leading academics who can talk through problems with you in person.”

University of the People founder Reshef told The Guardian last week that “hundreds of millions of people deserve to get education and don't" due to ‘poverty or personal or geographical issues.' news@studentnewspaper.org

RICHARD SHORE

Joanna Sweeney

GRADUATE OPPORTUNITIES Whatever new technology the future holds, we’ll need plenty of energy to power it.

At Shell we’re working on all sorts of ideas to meet the growing demand.

And we need ambitious graduates to help us tackle the energy challenge.

Think further. Visit www.shell.com/careers Shell is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

EVENT: Shell Career Hubs DATE:

15th October 2009

VENUE: The Radisson SAS Hotel TIME:

18:30 to 21:00

RSVP:

To register text “SHELL5” to 81707*

*You will be charged the cost of one standard message, charged at your standard network rate.

You will also be charged for data services by your mobile operator when browsing our site.

Shell Grad Event Support 09 Publication:

Edinburgh

If any problems arise concerning this document, please contact Dawson Walker Communications on +44 (0)20 7323 2713.

Job Number: 3346

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

8

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Comment

Comment

Life, death, prizes!

Susan Robinson takes on the seedy side of 'human-interest' magazines t was like a grotesque set of domiIwhite noes. Instead of uniform blackdotted tiles toppling over each

other, it was gran that had lost her balance. She fell into her grandson and in turn into granddad, and so it went on in gut-churning slow-motion.

My mother and I stamped on the emergency stop sign of the escalator, unaware the stop button was underneath. A cool-headed good samaritan ushers us out the way and brings the machinery along with the horrid spectacle to a halt. A medical student appears and looks the crumpled family members over as an ambulance is called.

It’s at this point I see a woman parked in one of the cafe seats that looks onto the escalator. Her bags are arranged around her, her pudgy hands folded in her lap and a look of morbid fascination plastered across her face. She’s relished every moment of this hideous scene. She has no intention of helping, she shows no sympathy, she’s just captivated by the sight of

human suffering.

She’s not alone. True, put in a situation such as this, the majority of people would try to help, they would feel empathy. However an industry does exist for people who enjoy such things: books and magazines that shy behind the title of “human interest”. Read as “the suffering of others distributed for entertainment”.

The subheading of Chat! magazine probably sums it up more succinctly, and more brutally: 'Life! Death! Prizes!'

Chat! is by no means the sole offender, other publications to be singled out include That’s Life!, Pick Me Up and Take a Break which has an incredible weekly circulation of 920,000. A typical frontpage will consist of splash headlines designed to shock: 'I ran over my fiancé – No wedding just a funeral', 'Dying? But I’ll have a boob job first!', 'I slept with my hubby’s brother FOR A BET'and 'Ancient Egypt’s King Tut gave me a baby'.

Combine this with the symmetrical grinning face of an attractive woman (but not so attractive as to be intimidating), the

promise of money to be given away and some cute pictures of animals or children, and you’ve hit the target market.

You could argue that these magazines have a legitimate role, people only read these horror stories to feel better about their own lives and those who contribute them receive payment. Catharsis and compensation, everyone’s a winner, or at least has a chance at winning a 'family seaside holiday in Blackpool.' But that’s before you look too closely at how some of these stories are written. The writers, editors and interviewers have an admirable talent for portraying people in the worst possible light yet in an apparently sympathetic fashion.

Last week Closer excelled itself in covering the story of a woman who had been ravaged by drug addiction. Next to a picture of her grinning with decaying teeth and her skin patchy with broken blood vessels, the article tells of how she took GBL daily and her ex-boyfriend 'used to put it into my Pot Noodle'. These magazines have a very cynical idea of the intel-

ligence of both their sources and their readers and exploit them accordingly.

Many of the stories, dramatically titled 'True-Life!' are distinctly surreal, bizarre to the point they are beyond irony, particularly in the way they written and the skewed perspective they give on the world.

“

The writers, editors and interviewers have an admirable talent for portraying people in the worst possible light".

My personal favourite centred on a woman who claimed to have objectumsexuality; she had a physical attraction to walls. The article was loaded with cheap gags such as 'I knew he would stand by me' and 'I go for the strong, silent type' and a gratuitous picture of

the Great Wall of China captioned, 'Do walls do it for you?' Worse still, it details how she married the Berlin Wall ('The sex was amazing, just touching the hard brickwork and rough edges sent me into a frenzy.') and was 'horrified' when 'her husband' was torn down in 1989. The fall of communism in Eastern Europe pales into insignificance by comparison.

Perhaps I’m getting too worked up.

Maybe I’m just bitter after seeing one too many 'Painful Lives' biographies or because a woman never took piggy eyes off me, or stopped masticating on her panini, when I once cried in a cafe.

Public humiliation used to be an effective method of punishment (and continues to this day in the form of televised X-Factor auditions) and executions were public events, witnessed by children and adults.

Upon reflection, morbid fascination is nothing new and magazines such as Chat! cater to an unpleasant aspect of human nature . They are a slightly lesser evil to public hangings and who doesn’t love a Sudoku?

There's a new sheriff in town William Dobbs asks why we allow leaders to live above the law

T

he decision by the 15 judges that make up Italy’s Constitutional Court to strip Silvio Berlusconi, the Italian Prime Minster, of his right to political immunity has been hailed by many people as a ‘victory for democracy’ and the beginning of the end for the leader.

Berlusconi, who is in his third term in office, has been the subject of scandals and indictments throughout his political career, but all trials against him have either been suspended or quashed on various technicalities.

The judges’ decision raises important questions about the legal status of national leaders, not just in Italy, but also throughout the ‘democratic’ world.

Should a President or a Prime Minster be immune from prosecution? Or does this fundamentally undermine the whole idea of what a democracy should be?

When Berlusconi pushed through a law last year that protected the Prime Minster and other top officials from prosecution, it was seen as a blatant attempt to guard himself from the lingering accusations of fraud, tax evasion and corruption that had been made against him. At the time his popularity was high and his self-declaration that “all Italians want to be like me” was hard to dispute, although his assertion that he has been “the best Prime Minister Italy has ever had” is certainly debatable. Berlusconi believed his billionaire, playboy lifestyle was something Italians aspired to, and perhaps he was right. However it has become increasingly clear that his lack of restraint and probable guilt in some

of these criminal charges make him unfit to rule.

Since he begun his third term, his wife has left him, he has been accused of underage sex, paying prostitutes to attend his parties, promising showgirls positions in the European parliament, and his regular gaffes and misplaced joviality make the news weekly. He is, of course, not the first leader to be accused of philandering and displaying dubious moral judgement; it would be ignorant to suggest politics and ethics are like two peas in a pod. Lloyd George, Clinton, Churchill and Major just to name but a few have all had problematic principles, but it is Berlusconi’s conviction that he should be above the law that puts his position as leader into question.

B e r l u s c o n i ’s warped view of himself and his powers are dangerous and could have serious rep e rc u s sions.

Aside f ro m r u n n i n g most of the media in Italy anyway which defies democratic mentality

and negates the necessity to introduce actual press censorship, he believes that the “communist” judges that ruled against him are “cancerous growths… mentally disturbed [and] anthropologically different from the rest of humanity.” Leaders with views like this have generally not been judged particularly well by history. He has defied calls for his resignation, saying he will complete his five year term “with or without the law.” Berlusconi’s defence team take an Orwellian stance on his status arguing that as Prime Minister he is the “first above equals” and the law should not apply to him. Not only does this suggest his guilt, it would give him a carte blanche to behave without any restrictions whatsoever. If he didn’t abuse these powers, it would not be long before one of his successors did and all

sorts of potential disasters await.

If Berlusconi were forced to stand trial and answer his accusers in court, he claims this would distract him from his duties as Prime Minister. Yes it would. But it seems quite clear that the nature of the allegations made against him (corruption, bribery etc), as well as the likelihood that some if not all have elements of veracity in them, render his position as leader untenable. If he can manage to find the time to organise a state aircraft to fly his friends and other guests of questionable morality to his debauched parties while also squeezing the odd bit of legislation guaranteeing his exemption from the law into his schedule, he could surely find the time to clear his name as well! Berlusconi is not behaving or acting like a democratic leader should.

Everyone should be subject to the law, including government leaders, and if this fails to be the case then a country with democratic pretences has to question its own standing. If a European country seeking membership to the EU had a leader with Berlusconi’s track record, their ap-

plication would be discredited faster than a Ferrari in free-fall. Berlusconi should step down and stand trial.

Decisions like this, however, are up to individual nations to decide and the international community cannot enforce an individual head of government to abide by personal moral ethics. However there are rules governing what leaders can be held accountable for on the international stage yet these are also flawed and difficult to enforce.

Torture is banned, but somehow the United States can get away with it in Guantanamo Bay. We were also told in this country that we needed to invade Iraq to prevent Saddam Hussein from using his Weapons of Mass Destruction which he definitely, undeniably had. But are George Bush and Tony Blair being held accountable for these actions? No. In fact the latter is being sounded out for the Presidency of Europe, should that position come into existence. It is fine for Western countries to criticise the Taliban for torturing people behaving immorally, yet when our leaders do it the rules seem to change and parity does not exist in holding people accountable.

Leaders should have to abide by the laws of their countries just as everyone else should, as this is a fundamental aspect of democracy and equality. Berlusconi’s position has to be re-evaluated; by believing he is above the law he is a threat to democracy in Italy and although the Constitutional Court has now ruled against him, the EU should have strict guidelines on the issue anyway.

Feeling opinionated? comment@studentnewspaper.org

�������� Tuesday �������� October ��� 13 ���� 2009 ��������������������� studentnewspaper.org�

Comment 9 � Taking Tesco Down Town ews this week that Tesco is N thriving financially despite current economic climate should

Send in the clowns

Joe Downing on why protesting unethical companies is more than just clowning around

L

ast Wednesday the careers fair saw first, suited members of People and Planet encouraging students to reconsider their RBS internships and later, colander wearing, rattle wielding campaigners targeting arms manufacturer BAE Systems. Are these frolics, friendly disruptions and halfway serious protesting methods, known collectively as ‘creative campaigning’, effective?

Well, why not? The creative campaigning protests were successful because they communicated with students, who like anyone are apathetic until they feel threatened. On Wednesday the orthodoxy of a careers fair was threatened in a way which a predictable stand-out-front protest would not have achieved.

Creative campaigners, the Rebel Clown Army, founders of the clowning (becoming clowns) tactic believe in “adding disorder to the world in order to expose its lies and speak the truth.” Thus everyone witness to a parade of marching, cross dressing, recorder-tooting clowns on Wednesday could step back and rethink working for companies who gloss over the damage they cause.

Students were, even if only momentarily, active participants in an unusual theatrical performance with an important moral ending. In all this excitement, they became the active seekers of information, not passive recipients as they were perplexed into looking for

information from protesters. Activism like the ‘clowning’ used to highlight the atrocities by BAE is also an infallible way to defuse tension between protester and ‘keeper of the peace.’ Even the formidable Edinburgh in-house heavies were relatively accommodating.

Of course if we were to ask some-

“

Everyone witness to a parade of marching, crossdressing, recorder tooting clowns on Wednesday could step back and rethink working for unethical companies" one taking it a bit too seriously, they would say, 'They should have had more banners,' that 'this kind of protesting belittles the debate.' But creative campaigning is about action and spontaneity. Most importantly, none of these protests run like an operation, which is fitting as most of them are against war.

Look at it like a game of football: protesters can talk tactics until they’re glitter-painted blue in the face but on the day, they’re a team of free thinking individuals reacting to the twists and

turns of an unpredictable game. As the creative campaigning mantra states, you can only get better by coming to know what each other are likely to do in any given situation.

The University of Edinburgh careers fair boasted an array of companies that kill people with weapons and others that are doing it slowly by warming up the world, offering us extortionate amounts of money to do away with our morals.

BAE and DSTL arms manufacturers, the Army and various other MOD offshoots, profiting from the victims of war were present. Add to these RBS and SHELL who continue to make money out of investing in destructive forms of energy or destroying the planet and you can understand why some students argued the university itself should be the target of protest for hosting them.

Protesters were correct however to target individual firms or more pointedly, to draw their darker policies to the attention of potential recruits. With an increasingly business like mould for all universities to squeeze into, they have to ‘advertise’ their product (valuable degrees) by having their graduates reach high up places at the top earning companies. Let’s face it; the same careers fair is on a sell-out UK university tour.

The intolerable state of affairs is that munitions, defence and non-renewable energy are such lucrative industries and their profits are so bloated with govern-

ment funds that they look set to remain starlets of the career fair circuit.

Creative campaigning is tailored to students who are more easily swayed by the promise of money than ever, as they have next to nothing and are less interested in what’s behind it. Job seekers witnessed a method of protest that made them look up and stare.

Having taken part in the clowning on Wednesday I’d have done anything beforehand (apart from work for BAE) to stand stoically in the cold with a banner like I’ve done before. The ‘clowning’ tactic requires an uninhibited disposition, not just a passion for the matter in hand. But it works, and I’m pleased I experienced it. If you protest like this, you’re part of an improv that happens at the same time to be a protest. The second floor staircase was our backstage, our costume department and musical backline, smuggled inside in rather suspiciously swollen backpacks. It’s effective and in your face without doing anyone harm.

It’s not as popular as terrorism yet, but perhaps in a few years this more haphazard, less expensive method of getting your message across will have its time. Perhaps the new Che Guevara will have their beret resting atop a bright auburn wig, multicoloured and adorned with a pipe-cleaner flower.

come as a shock to few of us. It is, after all, where we all shop. This is not only true for those who live within close proximity to Nicholson Street, but for the nation as a whole.

The Tesco Corporation is in fact the second most profitable global retailer after Wal-Mart and accounts for a third of Britain’s grocery spending. The soothing combination of red, white and blue has become part of the way we live our lives and its promise of value is particularly inviting in these expensive times. On the launch of its new banking arm, Tesco will soon hope to be even more central to student saving. Give them five years and they will be sponsoring our degree certificates: if we are to be ruled by these people, some questions need to be asked.

There’s no doubt that the Tesco brand is everywhere and still growing, though arguably this fact alone does not constitute the need for a boycott. If Tesco was a company for which ethical practice was paramount, its growth would obviously be welcomed. A quick look over the facts, however, shows that this is emphatically not the case.

Search for most of the UK’s largest supermarkets on Google and you will find the odd local protest group. Search for Tesco and you will find “Tescopoly”. This carefully designed look-alike site, whose tag line is “every little hurts” goes on to reassure us that “This is NOT Tesco”. Hysterical though all of this may seem, the attached factual items cannot be disputed.

Tesco has won a number of awards in the past few years for poor practice; these include the ‘rotten egg’ award for poor animal welfare and last place in a recent survey of supermarket hygiene. Its treatment of food producers has been called into question on a number of occasions, in particular with regards to those who provide its own brand tea. The most shocking Tesco story, however, relates to the children’s charity, UNICEF, whose campaign slogan “change for good” was knowingly appropriated by Tesco for use in Ireland. On being told by the charity that this move had damaged their campaign, Tesco retaliated that a legal loophole meant that, as a non-charitable organisation, it was entitled to capitalise on it.

All of the above being the case, it would be unfair to argue that Tesco should be removed from student lives without offering an affordable alternative. At this point it should be noted that Tesco is not the cheapest shop on the high street. Those who have braved the ‘dubious meats’ aisle in Lidl or even been served by one of Farmfoods’ unnervingly youthful employees may argue that it is the only realistic option. This is not the case. Not only do I urge you to brave at least the vegetable aisle in Lidl, it would also like you to make a change for good, and try the grocers around the corner.

Phoebe Benjamin

Tuesday October13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

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Principal of peace

Before his speech at the Multi-Faith talks held at the McEwan Hall, Arun Gandhi talks to Juliet Evans about the ever-growing gap between the rich and poor and how he will never surrender when it comes to working for peace

MARY MEIKLE

"The booming economy is enjoyed by only a segment of the population and almost 50 percent are being marginalised - the rich aren’t doing much to help the poor."

With an ever widening gap between the rich and poor, an enquiry by Save the Children this month exposed that the poor are inordinately affected, placing blame on the government for disregarding the Millennium Development Goals which aim to cut child mortality. Unsuprisingly, the World Health Organisation ranks India 171st out of 175 for public health spending.

Gandhi comments on the extent that corruption is affecting the poorest section of society: "I don’t see any money trickling down to the poor, there is always a safety net."

It is a sad reality that despite the immense success of Slumdog Millionaire, young stars Azhar Ismail and Rubina Ali remain in poverty and still live in the slums where the camera crew first found them. Ismail’s father recently died from a treatable form of tuberculosis, simply due to an absence of basic antibiotics provided by the government.

The repression ingrained in the ancient caste system of India reminds Gandhi of the racial oppression he experienced when living in South Africa as a child: "It was a very bad time - there was so much hate and prejudice towards coloured people. After I was beaten up twice for this I became

ndia’s multi-faceted culture is relentIguage lessly engaging; from aesthetics, lanand architecture, to the diverse mixture of faiths and spirituality that have pervaded the subcontinent since the foundations of Hinduism, Jainism, Sikhism and Buddhism, hundreds of years before Christ.

Despite the diversity and overt paradoxical qualities of the cultures and philosophies of its people, the inspirational figure of Mahatma Gandhi has, to some degree, united a nation on a universal level. This charismatic leader is endearingly known to many across India as Bapu, meaning Father of the Nation.

Since Gandhi’s assassination in 1948, his radical teachings on truth, peace, and non-violence are, arguably, even more significant in today’s

terrorist-ridden society than during the struggle for independence 60 years ago. This is something which Arun Gandhi - Mahatma Gandhi’s grandson and active social justice campaigner in his own right - passionately discusses with me.

When questioned about the world’s contemporary interpretation of his grandfather’s philosophy of peace, Gandhi explains how it can be misconceived: "The concept of non-violence must be understood properly, it is not merely the absence of war – it is more than that."

As founder of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Non-violence, Arun Gandhi is an expert on the subject. He defines the philosophy of non-violence as the "kind of relationships we have with each other personally, on a

national and an international scale."

He is particularly keen to point out that the relationship between India’s government and the country’s one billion impoverished citizens is largely one of apathy and neglect. As India’s economy, reportedly the fastest-growing in the world, is set to overtake that of the US in 2050 its profile as a global superpower grows. Yet, hidden behind this financial success lies a devastating lack of basic health-care available for the majority of inhabitants. Gandhi recalls his grandfather’s statement which sadly seems to reflect this phenomenon: "Materialism and morality have an inverse relationship; when one increases the other decreases. It is vital for India to keep a balance.

"Despite social-economic progress since India’s Independence in 1947, there is still much more work to do," he asserts.

“

Materialism and morality have an inverse relationship, when one increases the other decreases." very angry, then my parents took me to India where my grandfather explained the power of anger and how to use it positively."

Following in his grandfather’s footsteps, he explains: "We feel ashamed of anger, yet this powerful emotion can be used effectively. It is like electricity. It can be just as powerful if we use it constructively for the good of humanity, but just as dangerous and deadly if we abuse it."

As with India, Gandhi holds the South African government’s indifference responsible for the

country’s high rate of violent crimes: "There’s a big increase in crime because the government hasn’t done enough for the poor. The African National Congress has gone the same way as India. After the Independence, politicians and bureaucrats moved into positions occupied by the British and continued with the same tradi-

“

We feel ashamed of anger, yet this powerful emotion can be used effectively - it's like electricity." tions of pomp and pageantry. They are doing this same thing in South Africa, which alienates them from common people. The poor don’t accept it and it creates a gap."

Speaking in McEwan Hall, as part of a series of 'Multi-Faith Talks' scheduled for the coming weeks, Gandhi addressed the power and plurality of religion in today’s society.

He acknowledges that "the fundamentals of all religions are the same; they are built on love, respect and compassion, yet we have and continue to use religion to divide and kill in the name of God." He remembers when he lived with his grandfather "when praying, he incorporated prayers from all the world religions and devoted an equal amount of time to each, but remained a Hindu." Using this example, he explained that "it is important that we remain who we are, and respect others for whom they are."

Controversially, he rejects the politically correct notion of tolerance, stating: "Instead we want active respect and understanding of different religions, not passive tolerance."

The principles of respect and understanding in the context of multi-ethnicity add even further relevance to Gandhi’s ideals for society today. With the continuing rise in poverty in his native India while political crises, such as the war in Afghanistan, become an even bloodier, more bitter affair day by day, Gandhi’s words invariably retain the resonance with which they were first spoken. Yet when I ask Arun Gandhi if he believes peace will ever be attainable, he is surprisingly hopeful: "Humans have never found anything impossible. Nothing should be ruled out - I will never surrender working for peace."

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Tuesday October 13 2009 features@studentnewspaper.org

12 Features

What's your size?

With increasing pressure for universities to be greener than green, Lee Bunce looks into the progress Transition Edinburgh University has made so far and their aims for the future in the burgeoning Transition Edinburgh University (TEU) movement.

“If we have to lower emissions and get used to a world in which oil prices are increasing, some of the things we take for granted are going to be challenged, and we are going to have to relearn many of the skills we have previously lost.”

This is the problem facing the much of the developed world today, and it is the problem being tackled by the TEU movement, a new initiative aimed at enabling the transition towards a low carbon lifestyle at the university.

Launched in October last year by a group of students inspired by other ‘transition’ groups around the UK, the project seeks to bring together both students and staff in a grass-roots effort to reduce carbon emissions from the entire university community, not just those from university buildings but also from the lifestyle contributions made by 26,000 students and 10,000 staff.

The initiative is also looking to compliment the recent 10:10 campaign. The university has signed up to the pledge to reduce carbon emissions by ten percent by 2010 and hopes to achieve this by inviting all members of the university community to formulate new ideas for action.

“The gist of what we are doing is that at the moment we live in a very resource-intensive, highenergy world, and we need to be in something that is lower energy and produces lower emissions,” says Lanini, one of five paid interns who has been directing the initiative since June following an £18,000 grant from the Scottish Governments Climate Challenge Fund to assist the project.

“The question is how we get from A to B, because we know where we are going, we just need the transition.”

Answering that question has been the focus of the group so far, who have spent much of the last year meticulously carrying out research in order to calculate a baseline carbon footprint for the entire university.

“

The project seeks to bring together both students and staff in a grass-roots effort to reduce carbon emissions from the entire university community."

The preliminary results of this work were revealed at a hugely successful launch in Teviot earlier this month (the full report is released next week), and show that around 85 percent of the university community’s 335,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide equivalent footprint is in fact due to student and staff homes, travel habits, consum-

ables and leisure activity.

The aim of ETU is to engage with both students and staff to find practical and creative ways to reduce this footprint as part of a planned ‘carbon crash’ project over the next 18 months.

The group have proposed a number of practical ideas already, including a ‘Saving Rooms’ project with the university’s accommodation service to reduce emissions in halls and a ‘Green Dragons Den’ proposal with the business school to encourage sustainable business innovation, as well as a series of ‘peer-learning’ programmes and public events aimed at influencing behaviour change among students.

“At the moment we import the cake and make the icing,” says Lanini with a smile, “but we might have to learn to make the cake and import the icing.”

To achieve this, the group is also operating a number of ‘workgroups’, each working on a specific area of university emissions to develop new ideas and strategies, but while they are optimistic about their chances of succeeding, they are under no illusions about the challenges the movement faces.

“

Around 85% of the university community's 335,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide is due to student and staff personal lifestyles."

“We are now just on the cusp of implementing some of the projects, but the Transition Edinburgh University group hasn’t really proved itself,” warns Lanini. “It’s proved it can organise a successful launch event but that’s about it so far.”

In particular Lanini is keen to learn from the mistakes of other transition university groups, recognising that the movement will require greater involvement from the larger student body and especially staff if it is to succeed.

“At the University of East Anglia for example they had a transition group going for a while but unfortunately it fizzled out because there wasn’t any staff involvement.

“And there weren’t any staff at our last meeting, apart from one, so in a way that could be one of the biggest challenges.”

The one member of staff who did attend however was David Somervell, the University’s Energy and Sustainability Manager, who has been closely involved with the group since its inception.

Since first joining the university in the summer of 1989, Somervell has been responsible for a raft of sustainability measures that have transformed energy usage on campus, establishing a reputation as a climate change maverick at the university.

His achievements at the university include the introduction of three combined heat and power generators around campus that supply heating, power and hot and cold water to the

“

...the work aims for a 40% decrease in CO2 emissions by 2010, compared to levels in 1990, a period in which the university has tripled in size." university, alongside an ongoing campaign of energy efficiency projects in buildings around campus. The work has put the university on course for a 40 percent decrease in CO2 emissions by 2010, compared to levels in 1990, a period in which the university has essentially tripled in size.

Working now from a chaotic office space in the Energy and Sustainability Office building on Infirmary Street, Somervell is working tirelessly to promote sustainability issues around campus. Despite his continuing efforts on this front, it is the possibility of changing people’s lifestyle that has drawn Somervell into the transition group, and it is an area he feels the university can make a significant contribution.

“It is often only possible to make substantial technical improvements at the time of a major refurbishment, and that can only happen quite slowly, it might take 100 years for us to get around all the buildings,” he says.

“We will continue to do that, and there is continued opportunity for improving the energy efficiency of existing buildings. However there is a human dimension.”

This human dimension is expected to be highlighted in the report released next week, and it is an area Somervell feels the university has the potential to do much more than it has in the past.

“Well I sometimes think that my colleagues and I, who are wanting to change things are pulling a dinghy, when we are really trying to steer a super tanker,” Somervell jokes.

“We are a 400 year old institution, we have lots of ingrained habits and institutions about how things are done and things have always been done. This is what makes Edinburgh great in lots of ways, but it can have problems in that change can be slow.”

Somervell mentions Edinburgh’s commitment to staff and student development in sustainable issues as a particular example, citing a motion adopted by the university in 1990 that pledged to expose students to the "imperative social, economic and ecological challenges" facing our world.

“I have to say that progressively in the last two decades that has slowly been coming in and that’s very exciting for me, even if it is twenty years later.”

It is an area that may be about to see some progress, with discussions underway for the creation of a pre-honours

course available to all students that would teach the growing issues surrounding climate change, sustainability and energy security. It is hoped such a course will be available ‘within a few years, and follows a proposal from a professor in the school of medicine who backs the plans.

“What struck this professor was not so much the direct impact of our operations, not even so much the emissions associated with our lifestyles, but actually it was the impact our university can make in the lifetime contribution of our students in their professional roles and in their lives.

“You are here for four years, but the impact you have because of your understanding might be much greater over your life time if you get it. If you understand the limits to growth, the issue of resources being finite, and

have an understanding of that instead of crashing headlong into just using

“

Discussions are underway to create a pre-honours course to teach the growing issues surrounding climate change." more, which is what our society, our industrial-commercial complex, wants us to do, you can make a much bigger impact,” he enthuses.

“That is actually quite interesting, and that is where transition comes in.”

Flickr: Carmillos

hings are going to have to “T change,” explains Sion Lanini, a recent Edinburgh graduate involved

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Tuesday October 13 2009 features@studentnewspaper.org

Features 13

Losing the will to live

Jen Bowden asks medical staff and students at the University if the recent change in assisted suicide legislation has made it easier for terminally ill patients to die with dignity, or blurred boundaries even further ebate about assisted suicide has D been at the fore of national and international news, and recent revisions of the medical guidelines have caused outcries from a cross-section of society.

These guidelines have been published to clarify when a person is in jeopardy of prosecution for helping a terminally ill person to commit suicide, but have sparked ethical debate as to whether the criminal justice system should be more lenient on assisted suicide.

The development came after a prolonged campaign by MS sufferer Debbie Purdy, who approached the House of Lords seeking clarification as to whether her husband would be prosecuted if he helped her to die. Assisted suicide is still illegal in Britain causing British patients to travel abroad to end their lives, most frequently to the Swiss centre Dignitas. The 1961 Suicide Act

“

Although these guidelines do not legalise assisted suicide in the UK, they make a difference." states that it is an offence to ‘aid, abet, counsel or procure a suicide attempt’ and despite an attempt in early July to legalise assisted suicide, the motion did not pass in the House of Lords.

As a result, those who want to aid their terminally ill loved ones, face the possibility of a 14 year jail sentence. The Scottish Parliament has made steps to discuss the possibility of legalising assisted suicide; however, this will not be debated until later this year.

The new guidelines released by the

Director of Public Prosecutions seek to offer more clarity and bring peace of mind to patients. It has been asserted that these do not legalise assisted suicide, and that patients will continue to be strictly monitored by authorities and the DPP. However, when assisted suicide is sought abroad, the individual factors of each situation will be taken into account when considering each case. One of the most important questions is whether the assisting friend or relative has financial motivations to encourage the patient’s death.

Authorities will also consider whether the patient has made a clear decision and is competent enough to have come to that conclusion, as well as assessing whether there was any persuasion or pressure from the assistor.

Although these guidelines do not legalise assisted suicide in the UK, they make a difference when it comes to a patient exercising autonomy over their life. This change has sparked controversial questions regarding whether government is prioritising individual choice over ethical policymaking. Professor of Medical Ethics at the University of Edinburgh, Kenneth Boyd, feels that changes will affect the teaching of medical students, "Insofar as future doctors need to know about the law relating to ethical decisions." He stated that "in the case of these new guidelines, the decisions involved are primarily those made by patients and their families rather than by doctors, but clearly doctors need to be aware of any significant factors affecting their patients’ decision-making." He concluded that "new guidelines are probably the best response that the

DPP could make to the House of Lords' requirement in these circumstances."

Regardless of this arguably postive outcome, public opinion is still divided on the subject.

A third year medical student commented, "I believe that all patients have a right to die with dignity. It is wrong that patients whose physical status prevents them from ending their lives on their own terms are subjected to such bureaucracy at a time when they most need support.

“

Opinions on assisted suicide are as diverse as they are endless."

Medicine has moved from a paternalistic to a patient-

centred discipline, and I believe that the wishes of patients are tantamount to this change."

The question of religion and faith has its own problems with assisted suicide, on top of the issues well known in secularised society. The President of the Catholic Students’ Union, Shaun McMaster, commented that "the Catholic Church is against the relaxing of the law relating to assisted suicide. This is because we believe in the dignity of the human person. Assisted suicide can be too easily categorised as a legal defence and this will make it more

complicated for prosecutors to effectively prove an intention for murder. With the introduction of these guidelines elderly people could feel more pressured into early death so as not to be a burden on relatives." Religious beliefs are obviously integral in a patient’s decision, but this is largely a personal factor, and views differ greatly from person to person.

On the opposite side of the debate lies Mike Williamson of the Humanist Society who has strong views about the personal right of terminally ill patients to decide to end their own lives. He commented: "it’s more difficult for a seriously disabled person to take their own life, even though in many cases that disability is the very reason they wish to do it.

I favour legalising assisted suicide under controlled conditions to allow for better regulation, and to prevent

The cost of a good night's sleep

such suicides taking place outside of the system - either by doctors doing it illegally or by patients taking a one way trip to Switzerland."

Opinions on assisted suicide are as diverse as they are endless, but not all societies at Edinburgh are focussed on the debate. In a bid to brighten the lives of terminally ill patients some students at Edinburgh University are attempting to bring a little more comfort to patients in the Royal Victoria Hospital. This year the Patient Outreach Project was set-up by medical student Charlotte Squires, with the aim of providing a vital community service.

She said "all students are encouraged to get involved regardless of hospital experience and training is provided to fully prepare volunteers. We are currently based on the Parkinson’s disease ward and are planning an expansion into other sectors as the programme progresses."

Assisted suicide will always be a controversial and highly provocative issue. Although the guidelines provide some relief for patients and their friends and relatives, it is clear that moral ambiguity will remain on many levels, religious or otherwise.

For more information on the Patient Outreach Projects email :patientoutreach@ googlemail.com

James Ellingworth deposits his student loan in a less conventional safehold and learns the exact price of sanity

I

feel like a thief. This isn’t surprising, since I’m jogging down the steps of my local branch of Lloyds TSB towards a waiting car with two grand stuffed into my pockets. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your attitude to banks, the money is entirely mine.

I should probably take a moment to explain why I’ve just taken all my worldly wealth, most if actually the property of the Student Loans Company, out of the dubious safety of the British banking sector. Bankers have spent the past couple of years doing their utmost to destroy their own reputations, to the point that Brixton decided to circulate its own currency (which is completely above board, as long as you don’t pretend it’s Sterling, if you fancy trying this yourself ).

Meanwhile, I’ve spent that time with the firm conviction, however misplaced, that money spent on a card was never really money in the first place.

The same state of mind was shared by the bankers, who thought losses didn’t exist if no-one could understand the derivative involved. It’s like those girls who never buy chips but happily nick them from someone’s else plate – the problem goes away if you believe it

doesn’t really count.

My financial theory worked fine for the first two years of uni, with any occasional niggling doubts pickled in alcohol. However, as I’m now in third year, and my marks have started to count, it isn’t an option I can use as often as I did before. The student loans system looks comprehensively bollocksed too, so I face the embarrassing possibility of being caught financially short if I don’t sort out my spending.

This got me thinking. Said thinking resulted in an idea best suited to a BBC Three documentary – taking all my money out of the bank and seeing what happened.

Doing this is actually a lot harder than it seems, mostly because carrying a large sum of money around is very scary. To avoid losing my cash, I phoned ahead to arrange the deal and avoid having to announce my intention to everyone in the queue. I had toyed with the idea of handing over a note, but then realised that this would look a suspicious if I then left with a wad of cash. Finally, I had my very confused dad waiting outside for a quick getaway. It was then I started to realise why people who keep their money

under a mattress tend to be a little odd.

It makes you paranoid.

I came out of the bank, adrenalin pumping and mildly annoyed at the cashier who insisted on listing all the reasons this was a stupid idea and why I should under no circumstances go crying to Anne Robinson on Watchdog if it went wrong. Then I hit my next problem – where to stash my state-borrowed gains? The classic solution is the mattress, with all its attendant shotgunwielding-old-lady symbolism. This isn’t without risk. A woman in Tel Aviv made headlines in June after her daughter decided to surprise her Changing Rooms-style with a new bedroom suite, throwing away her $1 million stash in the process. While the possibility of anyone buying me furniture is remote, a cash-filled mattress could lead to some awkward conversations: “What’s that bulge?” “I could show you if you like.” [zipping noise] “I’m calling the police.”

Money stashed, I had to deal with the problem of spending. When all your wealth is spread out in front of you, in a smaller pile than you imagined, it’s a wrench to take any of it out. While this is pretty useful for preventing impulse buys, when you’re unwilling to spare

WHERE SHOULD I KEEP MY STUDENT LOAN?: Best sleep on it £1 for bread, you realise you’ve hit the second stage of becoming someone who hides their money in a mattress – miserliness.

You see why these people tend not be social butterflies. When you can’t bring yourself to spare ten quid for drinks with friends, or to allow anyone you don’t absolutely trust into your flat, you’ve gone quite a long way towards cutting yourself off from society.

After a week of sleeping on my student loan, I realised what might just be the most powerful argument for having a banking sector, despite its recent misdeeds. Being able to keep your money out of sight and out of mind might just be the one thing underpinning not only the economy, but social interaction too.

We might just have to support the bankers - or lose our friends.

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Tuesday October 13 2009 features@studentnewspaper.org

14 Features

"Thank God for machismo!"

Rosie Lloyd develops an appreciation for male pride in the Spanish community of Extremadura reaking all the rules, I’m going B to jump straight in with a generalisation: most societies have at least

some experience of sexism, and be it masculine or feminine, it is usually considered to be negative. If this seems like the beginning of a feminist rant, I can assure the reader that upon finding myself in the depths of the Madrid metro, with 40 kilograms of luggage, three broken escalators and no lifts, the only thing going through my head was "thank God for machismo."

Traditionally, Spain has been renowned for its male-dominated culture, but it is incorrect to assume that the "cult of machismo" was ever merely directed at the subordination of women in society. Spanish men in particular, completely redefine the idea of arrogance and self worth. Unlike the gun-pumping, bar-fighting, Maximuscle aficionados found in British pubs, football stadiums or gyms, the Spanish make no show of their own masculinity. They simply don’t need to.

“

It certainly saved me from a luggage-related hernia."

It seems that every single man, in whatever physical or mental condition, is his own private deity. Insecurity? Small Man Syndrome? These concepts just don’t exist. In fact, there is a well known Spanish proverb which proudly states

that what the men lack in height… well, you know the rest.

So machismo comes with the Spanish culture like thrift does with the Scots, reserve with the English, alcoholism with the Irish and Tom Jones with the Welsh. It’s a stereotype, but there’s no smoke without fire. This is particularly true of the Southern provinces and the historically poorer, less cosmopolitan regions such as Extremadura, the place I am to call home for the next five months. Being plonked in the middle of peasant country has its benefits rent-wise, but, as a foreigner, you learn quickly that even buying toilet roll screams, ‘Heckle me!’

Stressful as machismo can be, it is nonetheless fairly thought-provoking.

Why is machismo more concentrated in certain regions? And why, in a country so recently reinvented as Spain, is such an archaic concept still a focal point of national identity?

At least part of the answer can, as usual, be traced back to Franco.

Consider the fact that this fashionable, cultural and immensely popular corner of Europe, only waved goodbye to its dear dictator about 35 years ago. Even scarier, the man who decreed that women had no rights over their possessions, children or even themselves under the banner of marriage, was only replaced by a democracy because he died in 1975, and not because someone, somewhere, made a fuss. My Spanish flatmate tells me that for men and

women alike, the belief was that Franco’s system worked. Even if the economy still suffered, Spain had at least regained some moral dignity. Children respected

“

Even buying toilet roll screams, 'Heckle me!' their parents, women respected their husbands, families attended church without fail and everyone revered Franco. In return, no one got hurt, and everyone could get on with forgetting the atrocities of the civil war.

This national attitude does not exactly fly the flag for open–mindedness.

If change was not called for in the larger cities during Franco’s era, what chance had the superstitious and geographically dispersed pueblitos of Extremadura?

Poverty prevailed in the countryside, and with no money for travel, limited education and an extremely male-orientated church, machismo thrived. In short, there is no point in blaming one factor; the consolidation of machismo was definitely a combined effort.

Amazingly, 35 years on, it is almost as if none of it had ever happened.

How was this achieved? Officially, they decided to forget it. Even now there is no accurate tally for the victims of Franco’s regime, or indeed the civil war as a whole. The national trauma was such that the entire country signed up to what is literally translated as the ‘Pact of Oblivion’. And that was that.

MACHISMO: Can such archaic concepts define a national identity?

Bearing this in mind, Spain’s dislike of anything that harks back to Francoism is extremely evident. Machismo, whilst accepted as part of the culture, is increasingly condemned by the government. With a high rate of domestic violence in Spain, machismo is no longer interpreted as simple male pride. Posters adorn the streets castigating men for abuse, while their Prime Minister has condemned such behaviour as "the worst shame."

The huge difference between the

public and private approach to machismo is yet another indication of the Spain’s innate awkwardness with itself. Since Franco, the Spanish government Europeanised pretty quickly, but the prevalence of concepts such as machismo indicate that certain pockets of the population are taking a little longer to catch up. While the historical roots of machismo may not be the most morally sound, it is not without its own deeply Hispanic charm.

Good or bad, it certainly saved me from a luggage-related hernia.

THURSDAY NIGHTS

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Edinburgh Univerity Students’ Asociation is a Registered Scottish Charity (No.SCO15800)

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NASTY P

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

16

music@studentnewspaper.org

Review

MUSIC MUMFORD AND SONS Sigh no more ISLAND

 ercuryM nomin Marcus

Mumford dropped out of his Edinburgh Uni Classics course after first year, but academia’s loss is The Sons’ gain. The LP’s songs, some perhaps written in Pollock Halls 2006/7, skirt close to pal Charlie ‘Noah and the Whale’ Fink; both share vocal mannerisms and an obsession with the heart and soul, words writ large on the record and chiming with the idiom of the Great Pop Songs to which Mumford alludes.

'White Blank Page' (“loving you with my whole heart”) incorporates tremolando strings, brilliantly undercutting an impassioned vocal and a four-part wordless harmony which comes close to matching those of Fleet Foxes or Bon Iver, the Christ figures of the Cabin Indie movement.

Little Lion Man, which sees Mumford soliloquising to his own courage (“it WHY? Eskimo Snow TOMLAB



an oft-reIthatt’speated cliché Eskimos

have more than 50 words in their lexicon to refer to snow; the title of this album then would seem somewhat appropriate, given that Why? are a band prone to making music that it would seem impossible to categorise using any single musical term or classification. Since Jonathon “Yoni” Wolf (pictured) recruited a full band, Why?’s musical output has consisted of a nuanced mixture of the front man’s avant-garde hip-hop background with Anticon stalwarts cLOUDDEAD and a more quaint indie-rock.

It’s an interesting and rewarding mixture, one that was developed on Elephant Eyelash in 2005 and perfected on 2008’s Alopecia, an album that mixed deeply textured alternative styling’s with the free-wheeling and stream-ofconsciousness verses of underground hip-hop. Despite arising from the same recording sessions as last year's celebrated long-player, this is in Wolf ’s own words “the least hip-hop thing”

was your heart on the line”), is a late entrant for Most Harmonious Curse on record this decade, and ‘Timshel’ sounds like it’s been recorded in sub-zero temperatures, the band escaping the cold by means of sumptuous harmonies to create an Appalachian Sex and the City, with the punchline laying bare Mumford’s mortality.

The lyrics are mostly promising: “You were made to meet your maker” on ‘Awake My Soul’ is elegiac, matching the track’s musicality; at 22, Mumford has realised love is a game (“Your beauty trumped my doubt” on ‘Winter Winds’) as well as how to use dynamics and tonality to blistering effect, especially the minor-key-trapped ‘I Gave You All’.

‘Roll Away your Stone’ is goosepimpley fab and melancholic in the payoff (“you’ve gone too far… to take this soul that is so rightfully mine”), and is the song by which all other Mumfs songs will be judged.

The LP isn’t Marcus’ s magnum opus just yet but, given time to blossom, the seeds of his talents should propel him to the post of pinup of the postMyspace generation.

Jonny Brick

the band have ever recorded. The group prove themselves more than adept at penning piano-centric pop-rock, but old fans may feel like this album is missing something. This is a little hard to deny, the removal of the group’s hip-hop undertones means that this album doesn’t possess any genre-straddling apexes as glorious as Alopecia’s 'By Torpedo Or Crohns', but the continued input of Wolf means that this band will always have a unique edge. Still penning lyrics so packed with neuroses they’d make Woody Allen feel like he’d need to try harder, and with a genuinely unique singing voice, he elevates the songs to a greater plateau. 'Even The Good Wood Gone''s resigned refrain of “no flash photography” is genuinely heart-rending. Musically the album has its transcendent moments too, with songs like 'January Twenty Something' pulsing ever forward, and 'Into The Shadows Of My Embrace''s gentle lilt makes it a genuinely invigorating listen.

It may not be their greatest release, but its lasting impression is certainly one of quality, and it’s a genuinely interesting look at where the band could go from here on in.

Michael Russam

AFI (L-R): rape-face; 'My hair is made out of ghosts'; 'My skin is made out of ghosts'; contemplating-rape face AFI Crash Love INTERSCOPE

 FI cannot be A accused of lacking persever-

ance. This, their eighth album to date, marks yet another musical transition in the band's history, as they move further away from their hardcore post-punk roots into the realms of radio friendly rock, and in doing so present us with perhaps their most commercially viable record to date, or certainly since 2003's Sing the Sorrow. It is their age old story of bands relinquishing any IAN BROWN My Way POLYDOR



onsidering C his relatively unimpressive

solo work to date, Ian Brown’s promise on new song 'Marathon Man' that he still has "miles and miles left to come" in his career is one that many may not welcome too openly.

With his singing powers rapidly diminishing, it is fortunate for his fans that the former Stone Roses front man has listed Kanye West’s 808’s and Heartbreak, stuffed full of electronically altered vocal work, as an important influence behind his latest outing. Even so, sixth album My Way is not without its low points.

'Crowning Of The Poor', for example, sees Brown employ a strange mix of synths and drum machines as he attempts to deliver a fairly unimpressive political message. 'In The Year 2525' appears similarly overambitious with its obscure predictions for the future of mankind, while the wit behind 'Own Brain' is that the song title is, as Brown helpfully informs us, "an anagram of my own name". Thanks, Ian. My Way is by no means devoid of highlights, however. Opener 'Stelify', complete with pounding keyboards and horns, is an effective and promising introduction. Brown’s use of piano and strings produce some impressive moments in the album’s second half, with 'Vanity Kills' and 'For The Glory' particularly well arranged. Recorded in the same studio as the Roses’ legendary debut, links to Brown’s past life are

genuine initial talent or individuality in the pursuit of selling more records, but what you have in the case of AFI’s Crash Love is a band who have gone down the commercial route but without very much talent to relinquish in the first place. All of which leaves you with yet another poorly written collection of songs from the Californian four-piece, but which in their increasing reverence for the popular market now have lost whatever verve or idiosyncrasy the band might previously have been able to lay claim to.

Crash Love puts its strongest hand on the table right from the outset. The opening track, 'Torch Song', possesses perhaps the only memorable guitar riff on the album, accompanied by a moderately catchy chorus. From there on in it's a downhill affair, merging anonymous layered guitar hooks, with whiney vocals

centred around the recurring theme of unrequited love. The angsty deathfixation of previous albums remains, but too often the lyrics are governed by aggression over discretion (take for example, the track titled ‘Darling, I want to destroy you’). Davey Havok’s characteristically sadistic intentions to die’and tear out his eyes for his lover all seem a bit weak and unconvincing given the ambivalent, pedestrian guitar riffs that underpin them. There is far too much filler here, tracks such as ‘Cold hands’, ‘Beautiful thieves’ and ‘Too shy to scream’, are characteristic of an album that all too frequently combines Havok's monotonous wailing with entirely unoriginal melodies. The end result leaves you wishing he was too shy to sing.

inevitably evident throughout, with the imagery in 'For The Glory' unmistakable – "And when the bombs began to fall, I didn’t do it for the Roses". "Those were the days when we had it all" he croons on touching anthem 'Always Remember Me', although he later

makes sure to point out that "these are the times I got so much more". On this evidence, it’s a pretty inaccurate claim.

Thomas Kurland

Piers Barber

'What is the point of printing this image when theres already a tiny identical picture right there?', astute readers may well ask. Well, here's why. It's because as well as being the album's fairly dubious cover art, this picture is a promotional shot for Brown's new and entirely real collaboration with JD Sports. It's hard to imagine what kind of consumer they're targetting: he's got the hair of a village idiot, he looks like he's getting ready for a territorial fight to the death over his pond, and he's got his own face, his own face, on his jumper.

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Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

Review 17

maps Turning the mind mute

 ercuryM nominated electronica artist

Maps returns with an album brimming with druggy references, new-age pop psychology, and church-style choral arrangements. Sounds insufferable? On paper, that may well be the case, but for the most part Maps (real name James Chapman) pulls off his trippy joyride with life-affirming confidence and a generous serving of good tunes.

The opening title track lays the grandeur on thick with 'Spiritualized' sounding synths and lazy, whispery vocals, building a sense of anticipation for the rest of the record. The second track, standout single 'I Dream of Crystal', doesn't disappoint. Keyboard melodies and washes of choral effects join forces to provide an epic chorus, contrasting with quietly understated the pixies Sunday 4th October SECC, glasgow

 hen the Pixies first came along, W singer Frank Black was jarringly incongruous amongst front men. Men

didn't particularly want to be him; women weren’t that eager to shag him. But being paunchy and bald has given him a curious longevity, so that as he stood, belly thrust out, onstage at Glasgow’s SECC last Sunday, it could well have been 1990 again.

Lucky for him, since this tour is all about their 1989 album Doolittle, which they proceeded to play in tracklisting order. While this is a welcome substitute to your typical reunion gig - bands churning out the hits with all the sheepish embarrassment of someone who knows too many answers in a pub quiz - it formed an unnecessarily rigid concert experience.

Bassist Kim Deal laid the ground rules by spitting defensively "It’s just the album" as though anticipating a fight from the subdued and sober crowd. After all, it was a Sunday night. It was two decades of terrorism, obesity, and internet since Doolittle was released. Or perhaps it was a result of the backing videos for each song bearing an eerie similarity to those used

by Derren Brown a few weeks back to

and slightly menacing verses. 'Crystal' establishes the template for this second LP; more dance oriented than its ambient predecessor, with a greater emphasis on pop songwriting. The other single, 'Let Go of the Fear' is positioned third - it's a tight dance-edged track, with some of the finest squelchy synths this side of Air's 'Sexy Boy'. This is followed by the excellent 'Valium in the Sunshine' - a blissed out, feathery concoction, with an uplifting organ, synthesised strings, and lyrics which seem to be a tribute to Mr Chapman's favourite sedative.

At a full hour, however, the album outstays its welcome to an extent; especially as the latter half drags; few of the later tracks quite match up to the promise of that initial clutch of songs. The rest of the album isn't bad, but I was left with a lingering feeling Maps had played his trump cards too early. The simple, pulsating hook and elegant structure of penultimate track 'Die Happy, Die Smiling' goes someway to rectifying this; like the rest of the album however, it's just a bit too drawn out to make the impact it could.

Stuart Young

stick the nation to their sofas.

These graphics, black and white film footage, disconnected and disconcerting images of hangings and rapes, spoke louder of a band longing to be seen as artists, all too aware of their own dwindling relevance. Though after twenty years the songs of Doolittle have lost none of their anger and alienation, the band by contrast seems less convinced. Or maybe it’s just me. No one can be a 'Debaser' with a mortgage.

Then, just as the encore fades and the crowd are reaching for their coats, anticipating queues and Monday mornings, something magical happens.

The floor lights come on but the Pixies return and play a full set of the classics to an elated audience. I don’t want to doubt its spontaneity; it felt real, a slice of authenticity for a spectator jaded by a thousand orchestrated encores and chastely controlled crowd surfing.

As they closed with 'Where is My Mind' it’s impossible not to recall the end of Fight Club, a film which now strikes a less angry, more elegaic tone, in which the 30-something crowd can remember a time before they had jobs and responsibilities, and Tyler Durden was real. At least Frank Black looks the same.

Rise against Saviour

This instructive exchange, printed to satisfy the reader's vicarious bitchiness, was overheard in the Library's 2nd floor microlab. Public school girl comes over and greets public school boy flirtatiously...

'Ohmygod hi!? Soooo - what did you do last night?'

'Ohmygod I was sooo drunk. Itchy Feet... It was awesome, they were cracking out all the classics, loads of Stones' 'Wicked yah, I went to dubstep at the Caves. Was insane' 'Cool, dubstep! Actually you know I feel so amber about dubstep. I'm just not totally red about it and I'm not totally green about it, just amber.'

Boy is highly impressed by this.

'So you're just amber yeah - totally know what you mean! Not red or green. Somewhere in between' 'Yeah not red or green, just amber' 'Amber yah!?'

Boy then turns to trendy American exchange student in shorts and braces.

'Oh my god how are you?

'Recovering from a massive night at Itchy Feet. I was so drunk. What are you up to this weekend?'

'I'm going to this really cool thing where loads of people bring their cars and sell really cool, cheap, like vintage stuff? I think it'll be amazing, you should come!' '...a car boot sale?'

'Yeah I think that's what it's called.'

'Yeah maybe, I'll give you a buzz.'

Catherine Sylvain

Singles

Dubstep is so totally amber.

Car-boot sales, on the other hand...

'Cool, see you then!'

Robbie Williams

The all american rejects

Bodies

The Wind Blows

EMI

Interscope

Interscope





With a name that evokes such vaguely anarchic political beliefs, one might suppose Rise Against are trying to tap into the culture of teenage angst that has proved lucrative for so many other bands. The opening lyric of "It kills me not to know this but I’ve all but just forgotten, what the colour of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them" only confirms this initial assumption. Musically there are few surprises here as well, the high tempo distorted power chords and shouting vocals being about as unique as a piece of Ikea artwork. However, a genuinely infectious chorus and crunching chords could have redeemed this track as a punchy rock anthem, had it only been of an appropriate length. A needless mid-section, repeatedly wailing "I don’t hate you’"drags the song to over four minutes meaning it certainly outstays its welcome. [Buster Stonham]

Mr. Williams’ career has seen him rise from member of the oft-bland boy band Take That to stand-out solo artist with a very strong back catalogue. However, his last outing (the somewhat misjudged hip-hop/dance experiment, Rudebox) left fans alienated, especially amusing given that he then made a documentary about aliens. Yes, he’d gone a bit weird. But after a two-year break Robbie is back with ‘Bodies’, a song exploring themes such as insecurity and religion. But thematic and musical exploration is not really the aim here. Williams is out to win back those disillusioned fans, so it’s no surprise that ‘Bodies’ is more than a touch reminiscent of ‘Millennium’. Robbie may be playing it safe, but the song does pack a punch with some funky synth and an impressive strings-led chorus. Williams has made a smart move here, and should have a hit on his hands.

Hats off – he’s back. [ John Rushton]

Who are the All American Rejects, you may be wondering?

Well, they’re the band who recently brought us the irritatingly repetitive ‘Gives you hell’. As the unpleasant memory of that song lingered in my mind, I tentatively pressed play. It was a long 3 minutes. A long three minutes, in which singer Tyson Ritter whined about leaving “when the wind blows.” Clearly, the All-American Rejects are trying to be soulful. However what they’ve created sounds a bit like a trashy 80s power ballad, with the same level of emotional depth as the pan-pipe music that you hear in lifts. If that wasn’t bad enough, the lyrics are nonsense. My favourite line has to be "Late nights when I stayed up late". How poetic. So, if you’re considering listening to this song, I think the three minutes would be more enjoyably spent emptying bins. [Fiona Cuddihy]



Tuesday October 13 2009 film@studentnewspaper.org

18 Review

FILM UP [3D]

5 Films...

DIRECTED BY PETE DOCTER/BOB PATERSEN 

...You probably haven't seen, but should

henever the names Disney and W Pixar are put next to a film, it always stirs up a certain degree of

Delicatessen (1991) Set in futuristic France, this film initially paints an image of a brutal and macabre way of life. However, there soon comes a realization that love, innocence and beauty can prosper in an environment seemingly void of compassion. A myriad of bizarre and far-fetched characters keeps the audience entertained with their dark musings, as the film moves towards an exhilarating and dramatic climax.

excitement and anticipation. As film makers, they haven’t flopped yet and by the looks of things, I don’t think they ever will.

With their recent Oscar success for Wall-E, Up seems to be another attempt at the Oscar prize, and I have to say, they are in with a very good chance.

Up is the simple story of a man's life-long ambition to travel to the remote Paradise Falls in the South American rainforest, and build a house there, a hope that he shares with his wife. After his wife's death, he becomes a recluse and escapes his dreary existence by flying his house there.

A few thousand helium balloons and some imagination from us- ignoring some of the fundamental laws of physics- makes for one of the best animation films this decade.

Up surpasses what animated films have ever achieved. As with most

KATALIN VARGA DIRECTED BY PETER STRICKLAND  a breath of fresh air to see a Isoletfilmwas in a mainstream cinema whose purpose wasn't to make money.

British director Peter Strickland's brooding drama set in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania is a challenging and at times brutal experience.

Strickland never allows the viewer to relax into the film; he keeps you on edge always. Most cleverly through his use of nerve-jarring noises that cannot be called music, put behind lengthy shots of the stunning landscape where the story is set.

The effect is a strange one; at first it seems all wrong that such beautiful visuals are mixed in with the dark sounds. This is Strickland's way of suggesting that darkness lies around the corner.

The first half an hour of the film is one of confusion, with Katalin played by Hilda Péter and her son Orbán (Norbert Tankó) thrown out of their house by Katalin's husband.

The impression the viewer picks up is that Katalin has had an affair and

OFF TO THE CARE HOME IN THE SKY: The government's approach to population control had become more inventive Pixar films, the producers have tried to make their films suitable for both children and adults, and this appears to be the key to great animation.

With a cast of well chosen voices you find yourself immediately captured by the story and the characters.

For a film to grip you emotionally early on is great, but for a digitally animated film to bring you to the point of tears within the first five minutes of a film is just incredible, and quite unexpected. Taking a leaf out of Wall-E's book you do find yourself watching a film without that Orbán is not her husband's son.

It is only later that it becomes clear that Katalin was in fact a victim of a gruesome act years before and the film is about her pursuit of vengeance.

Strickland also sets the beginning of the film in a timeless remote peasant village making the viewer think that the film is set in the past, it is only later when mobile phones and cars are introduced as Katalin and Orbán venture further away from home that the viewer realises the present day setting.

Significantly, as modernity creeps up upon you so to do the violence and darkness that are at the film's core, whether this is intended by Strickland is unclear. Hilda Péter is brilliantly understated in the central role and keeps her cards close to her chest, only letting the emotion out rarely.

This is a film that is not easy to watch, and the slow burning first half may turn some off. However, if it is given time the film challenges and grips you in equal measure. The fierce final scene left the cinema utterly silent and that, in my experience, is rare. If you fancy a thoughtprovoking chiller then this is a must.

THANKS MUM: How the hell am I supposed to go on Facebook now?

Tom Freehan

words for a sizable part of the opening sequence, which could be why you are brought close to tears so early. Close to tears I tell you, I didn’t actually, cry damn it!

Anyway, simple characters in a traditionally Disney fantastic surrounding create an atmosphere you fall in love with instantly. Even the villain is lovable.

As is tradition, to have an animated film, you have to have a villain. Up, however presents a villain I felt sorry for from the start and in the end. This is, I think, key.

Emotion is the goal in all films.

To be emotionally attached to the characters and relate to them on any level you can. Up will be remembered because of its quality, and will be watched again and again because of your relation to the characters and how easy it is to emphathise with a grumpy old man who just wanted to fly his house.

Any boy, any girl, any age, I challenge you to not enjoy this film.

Laurence Jordan

JOHN LESLIE'S open air version of Wheel of Fortune wasn't a hit with fair-goers

ZOMBIELAND DIRECTED BY RUBEN FLEISCHER  n recent years the zombie genre has Iways, become laughable in all the wrong between Flight of the Living Dead

and Zombie Strippers it all went a bit well... dead. This led to the low budget genre playing upon its B-movie roots and deciding the bloodier, the better, while the big budget films repackaged the sluggish living dead as fever-ridden victims of an ominous infection. So, with avid fans holding their heads in their hands, with no bullets left and poor imitations of Romero’s trilogy clawing at the door, where else to turn?

Comedy?

Zombieland is the latest in a line of living dead parodies, being the first widely publicised offering from across the pond, but it owes more to Judd Apatow productions than to the emotionally charged 28 Days Later. The main character and narrator, Columbus ( Jesse Eisenberg) is a Michael Ceraesque awkward teenager, with even the introductory voice over calling you to question if he is actually the Superbad star.

The plot itself even apes the teen comedy in Columbus’ unrequited lust for the untrusting grifter Wichita (Emma Stone) who, along with her

younger sister, Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), cons Columbus not once but twice.

The contrast to Columbus’ introverted geek is the carefree nothing –to-lose Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), whose only pleasure comes in killing zombies with any item from his vast weapon collection, ranging from a variety of shotguns to a banjo, which inevitably leads to a duelling banjo showdown in a supermarket.

Zombieland abstains from the usual scare tactics of the horror genre and instead revels in the gory tradition of the zombie genre. It brings back both its tendon chewing montage sequences and the gratuitous screensplattering kills, with slow motion sequences wallowing in the sprays of entrails and blood.

The film's climax comes in the form of a bloodbath in an amusement park, after an epic error of lighting their location up like a Christmas tree, the group battle with an army of the living dead using the rides and sideshows. However, this final showdown feels rushed, and lacks the same drive and energy as the rest of film.

That said, Zombieland still marks a return to the old school gore of zombie films, throwing in laugh-outloud punch lines and enabling the genre finally to rise from the grave.

Alexandria Pike

Brazil (1985) One of Terry Gilliam’s early forays into making independent movies following the end of the Python era. Hinting at his future classics by blending dystopia and comedy, Brazil’s take on an Orwellian 1984-style world is in equal measure, funny, entertaining , moving and thought provoking. With cameos from the likes of Robert de Niro and Michael Palin, this futuristic political comedy establishes Gilliams's signature style for years to come.

Gregory’s Girl (1981) Working class Scottish comedy classic perfectly capturing the emotional experience of all those embarrassingly clumsy school crushes. The movie manages the tricky balancing act of being,hilarious yet warm whilst at all times remaining rooted in the real experience of high school life. An anathema to all the terrible American high school comedies of the last two decades. Gregory’s Girl is endearing, sweet realistic and wonderful piece of cinema.

Manhattan (1979) Featuring stunning black and white Cinematography, Manhattan, in true Woody Allen style, haplessly explores what makes life really worth living, which leads to in life enhancing conclusions. Watch this, then make your own 'Manhattan list', keep it, and see how it changes as your life unfolds.... and then always remember “have a little faith in people, not everyone gets corrupted you know.” And then also remember, this film lost out marginally on Best Film Oscar back in 1979 to.... Rocky.

Millions (2004) Overshadowed by the more recent and more Hollywood Slumdog Millionaire, Danny Boyle's awardwinning story is about a pair of young boys who stumble accross money thrown from a train during a robbery. Finding the money just days before Britain switches to the Euro, michevious Anthony and the religious Damien come up with creative, and contrasting ways of spending the money. A great kids' film, but with plenty lying beneath the surface to keep thinking grownups interested.

£500 FOR THE SOCIETY WITH THE MOST NAMECHECKS ON THE DOOR £500 FOR THE SPORTS CLUB WITH THE MOST NAMECHECKS ON THE DOOR £3 ENTRY - £2 OF WHICH GOES TO THE SOCIETY/SPORTS CLUB OF YOUR CHOICE

eusa.ed.ac.uk

Edinburgh Univerity Students’ Asociation is a Registered Scottish Charity (No.SCO15800)

Tuesday October 13 2009 culture.thestudent@gmail.com

20 Review

CULTURE The Big Picture IAN HAMILTON FINLAY: IN A FAUVE PAINTING, 1998 THE LATE, great Ian Hamilton Finlay has been described as possessing a "fundamentally poetic view of the world". Make that fundamentalist. In 1983, Finlay launched a now-mythical ‘battle’ against Strathclyde Council, JOACHIM KOESTER: POISON after they failed to recognise a PROTCOLS AND OTHER HISTObuilding in his 5-acre garden RIES Little Sparta as a sacred temple UNTIL 25 OCTOBER to the classical God Apollo.

Finlay’s work is full of such STILLS jarring contradictions - between  arcadian peace and modern warfare, virtue and terror.

Little Sparta (which was, incidentally, voted the nation’s most important work of art in a 2004 poll organised by Scotland on Sunday), was named as an affront to nearby Edinburgh, “because Sparta was traditionally the enemy of Athens, and everybody knows Edinburgh as the Athens of the North.” As Ian Hamilton In a Fauve Painting 1998, 1998 card, 9 x 13 cm. Image ©Wild Hawthorn Press / The Estate of Ian HamFinlay famously quipped, “some ilton Finlay. Courtesy Ingleby Gallery / Wild Hawthorn Press gardens are described as retreats, JOACHIM KOESTER: POISON PROTCOLS AND OTHER HISTORIES

JOE WILKINSON AND GEOFF BOYZ 6 OCTOBER

UNTIL 25 OCTOBER

PLEASANCE CABARET BAR

STILLS

 SO FAR this year, the comedians at the Pleasance Comedy Club have often struggled with crowds less than enthusiastic at their attempts to blatantly push their buttons and push the boundaries of good taste. Last Tuesday however, a true veteran of the industry in Geoff Boyz pushed the right buttons and flicked the right switch, to at last rock the Cabaret bar with truly appreciative laughter.

The night began well, with the capacity audience giving a warm reception to the laid-back and quirky stylings of opener Joe Wilkinson,

“

Never again will we

say "I’m just popping out" without a cautious glance at our trousers." who muttered and rambled through a self-deprecating and neurotic set.

Much to the delight of the crowd, Wilkinson delivered soliloquies on insecurities such as his inability to link his jokes "like good comedians" and, hilariously, why it is that babies all seem to stare at him.

Social decorum was also challenged, as were our preconceptions, by Wilkinson’s musings on whether one can swear in a bank, and in a warning to lawyers everywhere, on the effects of winking in court.

Having bared his distinctly self-doubting soul to the crowd, Wilkinson left the audience, and this reviewer, with the feeling that we were onto a winner.

Headliner Boyz also did not disappoint. The Glaswegian drew howls of laughter and spontaneous



Geoff Boyz will be Geoff Boyz applause as he powered through his observations on those strange relationships that we all understand.

The artificiality of airline safety demonstrations, the agony of the etiquette of the spare room and the silliness of everyday turns of phrase (never again will we say "I’m just popping out" without a cautious glance at our trousers) were all given comedic tongue lashings which were lapped up by a gleeful crowd.

It wasn't the comedians' refusal to skirt the boundaries of good taste that brought the house down - Boyz’ material on the female and male versions of the "quiet pee" would cause even the most hardened comedy fan to shudder – or that they kept it clean, which both performers certainly did not.

No, Tuesday’s comedians were so successful because they understood what audiences want – to be involved.

The superb performances of Boyz and Wilkinson show that a crowd full of clean-cut students is not a death sentence, but a challenge with rewards to be savoured.

AS ONE of the selected artists for Nicholas Bourriaud's zeitgeist-defining Altermodern exhibition at the Tate earlier this year, Joachim Koester is a name we might expect to encounter more readily at bigname institutions in, say, London.

It is therefore a pleasant surprise to find him exhibiting a collection of photography and film at Edinburgh’s Stills Gallery. The show, Poison Protocols and Other Histories doesn't shy away from big themes, examining ideas of truth and fiction, history as construct, our phenomenological boundaries and the possibility of giving physicality to the ephemeral.

Koester’s black and white film

Tarantism shows a group of ‘dancers’ hurling their heads and limbs across the screen as if trying to escape the boundary of the body (imagine the antithesis of an iPod advert), inspired by the 17th century Italian belief that frenzied dancing could cure the deadly bite of the wolf spider. This would later morph into a stylised dance form, the Tarantella.

Historical accounts such as this are provided as accompanying texts that form paths to the works in this hardly accessible exhibition.

Although the performing dancers are clearly in command of their movements, Tarantism aims to create a dialogue about our mind’s loss of control over the body. One of Koester’s successes is his ability to make us aware of our corporeality and its limitations – the boundaries of our knowledge of existence.

Downstairs, by filtering language from an unrealised H.P. Lovecraft book through a computer program

when they are really attacks.”

The garden is populated by what he christened ‘poem-objects’, often text works carved into stone.

Finlay would try out concepts for large-scale works in the form of postcards such as this one, which he distributed through his publishing company, Wild Hawthorn Press.

The card's bold proclamation that the most important colour in a Fauve painting is grey is typically antagonistic - the Fauvist painters acquired their name (‘fauve’ means ‘wild beast’ in French) due to the unhinged, exuberant colour schemes of their works. Through the most economical of means, Finlay challenges us to think different.

This work is one of the many Wild Hawthorn editions that can be purchased from Ingleby Gallery’s shop. Prices start at £1.

Luke Healey

which randomly arranges its own composition of words on a monitor, fleeting truths, fictions and new resonances are uniquely created for the transfixed viewer. The poetic poignancy of some of these text collages is striking: “Invisible cities under ruin… abandoned host.”

Also striving to heighten your awareness of the possibility of multiple truths and fictions is Histories, the photographic series which greets you as you enter the gallery. Throughout the series, Koester has juxtaposed monochromatic photos from the 1960s with recent shots taken of the same location.

Sadly, this is hardly an original idea, nor is it particularly formally exciting.

It is easy to be put off by this uninspiring welcome, but the further you venture through the galleries the more your tenacity is rewarded. Koester's work is based on layer upon layer of text, past and present. It makes for fascinating reading.

Charlie Shute

Joachim Koester Tarantism (still) 2007, 16mm black and white film, 6.31 minutes

Sarah Hardie

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

culture.thestudent@gmail.com

Review 21 STAR RATING  Excellent

Very good

 Good

 OK

RESEARCH: RSA AWARDS IN FOCUS

Terrible

UNTIL 24 OCTOBER

RUN ENDED

UNTIL 18 OCTOBER

KING'S THEATRE

ROYAL SCOTTISH ACADEMY



 THE WORK that makes up the RSA's current display of seven of the artists who were awarded RSA residencies in 2008-9 will prove to be either a salve for your senses or a little too understated.

But this is not a project to be taken at face value. If it's attention-grabbing colours and instantly accessible messages you are looking for, then this collection will not be for you.

Rather, it requires and deserves time and quiet contemplation in order to appreciate the way in which each artist imprints their own sense of self upon seemingly-familiar landscapes.

These familiar spaces range from the dark, medieval red brick of the Florentine skyline to the earthy greens of the Isle of Skye, sites that have been depicted ad nauseum.

However each artist is successful in delving into these known environments and thus creating something entirely new and magnificent.

Jill Zhang’s work in particular brings a modern feel to the seemingly well-trodden streets of Florence. In her painting Blue, we see the collision of East and West; this piece, so masterfully composed, blends the delicate blue of a Chinese vase in a shop window with the reflected fragments of the Florentine landscape, a potent statement on the curious ways in which the fusing of cultures can create something powerful and new.

It is this sense of cultural collision and exchange that Eoghann MacColl so poignantly engages

THE DARK THINGS

THE SILVER DARLINGS

within his work. Focusing on the marginal communities that inhabit the Isle of Skye, an inhospitable and isolated landscape, MacColl records the physical imprints that their existence has left upon the land.

A photograph of a Spartan playing field on the fringe of the vast Atlantic Ocean hints at the sense of connection and disconnection that these communities must have felt with the culture of the outside world.

These rather moody images are complemented by large paintings of coastal scenes in which the earth, sea and sky seem to melt and mix together. This is perhaps both a testament to the terrible unpredictability of island weather and to the flexibility and uncertainty of island identity.

It is this last element that I think brings such a refreshing perspective to this exhibition. In a world of frantic globalisation, where everything seems generic and commonplace, it is wonderful to see an artist paint the world anew.

An even more important take-home message is that, when removed from modern noise and placed in a quieter, more isolated environment, humans can find a fresh perspective on the world they thought they knew so well.

So, why not go underground at the RSA and discover something new for yourself?

Claire Moran

SET IN the aftermath of the Highland Clearances, Peter Arnott’s adaptation of the Neil Gunn novel follows the story of Catrine’s relationship with her son Finn, as the two struggle to establish new lives for themselves whilst maintaining their relationship with one another.

The play begins with the young Catrine losing her husband to

“

A Greek chorus moves between the humble characters and omniscient storytellers very naturally, successfully marrying traditions of history and fable." the fishing trade and carrying herself, heavily pregnant, to stay with an aunt in a nearby village.

Accompanying the action is a strong narrative voice in the shape of a Greek-style chorus who move between humble characters and omniscient storytellers very naturally, successfully marrying traditions of history and fable.

The performance space works in a similar way, made real and then false by the actors’ changing use

TRAVERSE THEATRE

 of it, a chorus platform changing seamlessly into a cliff face as the characters’ whims tumble that way.

Transformations that could have potentially annihilated performance believability are upheld by extremely strong performances throughout.

The movement routines are powerful, conveying a real sense of the people’s displacement.

The use of song is successful, if sporadic, and deepens the dimension of legend in the play.

Finn and Catrine’s stories are very touching and human but rely too heavily on a sense of national nostalgia as their bulwark.

The performances are, at times, mired in the kind of gender inequality that parades itself as historical accuracy but does nothing to challenge the attitudes of the past, almost seeming to regret their passing.

That said, this production of The Silver Darlings was uproariously received by the older audience who frequent the King’s Theatre, so the alienation I felt from some of the characters was perhaps due more to demographic irrelevance than to their own weakness, as the actors can hardly be faulted on their sincerity.

Lisa Parr

Artist in Focus: Lilah Fowler

Helen Harjak ponders perception and space with a committed futurist "I FEEL drawn to the idea of an escape from the predictability of everyday life," Lilah Fowler admits as we talk about her new exhibition at the Corn Exchange Gallery.

In Time is a collection of abstract sculptures that are concerned with space, both reassuring and questioning it. Made of materials like steel and polythene film, Fowler’s work looks fragile, yet it gives out a certain futuristic vibe.

Fowler is a London-based artist who has studied at the Edinburgh College of Art and the Royal College of Art. Since 2004 she has participated in several group exhibitions, In Time at the Corn Exchange Gallery being one of her first solo shows.

Some of the works that make up the In Time series have been specifically created with the Corn Exchange Gallery in mind. Fowler observes: "Often when installing and making my work some consideration goes into the space as a whole, to choreograph the works in relation to one another and also in relation to the space and the viewer’s navigation of that space."

Steel 'space frames' hang from the mezzanine floor of the gallery, while other pieces such as Out of Form and Future Fiction are strategically placed on the ground floor where they reflect their surroundings off their mirrored surfaces.

Another intentionally subtle

Lilah Fowler, Untitled (light pink and turquoise space frame), with Untitled (yellow and turquoise space frame), 2009, steel, 600 x 300 x 310 cm, variable. m.

addition to the display is the wall drawings. These are intended to lead to a heightened awareness of the space they occupy, as Fowler explains: "Small areas are picked out depending on one's position within the space."

Talking about the concepts in her work, Fowler admits: "I have always had this interest in the definition of perceived real-

Lilah Fowler, Out of Form, 2009, mirrored stainless steel, 140 x 72 x 72 cm.

All images: Courtesy Brown, London and the Artist.

ity and in suggesting alternative dimensions and layers of space within our everyday experience."

She is also intrigued by the possible development of the forms and designs of scientific technologies.

Fowler admits that her representations of these developments are inevitably based on hopeful projections. However, she believes in the importance of reflecting on future

possibilities even if these projections don’t turn out to be true.

Fowler points out that her research is not focused on scientific processes as such: "It is more a serendipitous and spontaneous response to these things in relations to sense, optic stimuli and objects that I encounter. I am interested in both physical and psychological responses to form, space and surface and these perspectives will differ from person to person."

Fowler’s fascination is manifested in her works that offer a multitude of alternative visions.

"The combination of the optical illusion and the colours in the space frames play with the viewer’s visual comprehension of the work.

"The mirrored stainless steel works are simultaneously negative and positive forms depending on their reflection, allowing some surfaces to appear flat and distort the true shape of the object. These permutations also allow for illusory viewpoints of other objects within the surrounding space, as objects vanish, distort and reappear."

When asked about her sources of inspiration, Fowler lists a variety of disciplines from fantasy literature and sociology to philosophy and popular science. Like her work, all of these domains have something to say about the future and of what is might be like to live through it.

WITH A moving yet disturbing plot, Ursula Rani Sarma’s new play poses quite a few important questions about life and death. It may sound clichéd, but there is nothing clichéd in this unusual story.

Perhaps the originality does a slight disservice to the play, as there are times when one can sense that it’s taken a bit too far. Still, absurdity and theatricality fit well with the story of a troubled artist trying to cope with the aftermath of a terrible accident.

Daniel tries making his nightmares and obsessions into art, spending time with a fellow victim, LJ, and finally visiting a psychiatrist who turns out to be just as disturbed as Daniel, if not more so.

The responsibility of the living to the dead, fickle fame, the essence of art and mental illness are just a few of the topics touched upon. They are handled with grace

by Sarma, and sometimes with appropriately dark humour.

The cast is excellent at portraying the pain and anger of the characters.

Brian Ferguson as Daniel

“

The play's value resides in the unsettling feeling the audience is left with, as the effect of 'dark things' is something we often prefer to overlook." gives a brilliant performance, as do Suzanne Donaldson as wheelchair-bound LJ and David Acton as Gerry the psychiatrist.

Nicola Jo Cully as Daniel’s sister Steph and Keith Fleming as Steph’s boyfriend are also good, although their roles in the play seems to be mostly providing comic relief.

The set design is clever, making the same surroundings work as different locations, while the occasionally eerie sound effects and lighting help to create and maintain a fascinating atmosphere.

When analysing the characters, there is perhaps something unlikeable about them in the end.

However, this story is an honest take on the absolute misery and hopelessness which render people to a state where they are only able to look out for themselves.

Although there is some redemption in the conclusion, the darkness still seems to prevail.

The Dark Things is not lighthearted or entertaining, and even though there are some comical moments, the comedy tends to lie in the sad absurdity of life.

The play’s value resides in the unsettling feeling the audience is left with, as the effect of ‘dark things’ is something we often prefer to overlook.

Helen Harjak

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

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22 Lifestyle VOTE NOW?

Lifestyle's guide to life

CAMPUS STYLE

ast week the Edinburgh University L Students' Association (EUSA) Jenni Smout gives advice on how to win at student life boasted increased turnout in their bye-elections with over 2500 students voting. This is largely to do with EUSA representatives creating more awareness by knocking on doors asking first years to stand, but with several seats contested and stiff competition, the candidates this year campaigned harder than ever before.

There are those, however, who optimistically argue that record turnout happens because students are simply more politically engaged in their Students’ Association, and that we, as students in general, care more about the sorts of issues that EUSA cares about.

I’m almost sorry to say that I was one of the pathetic souls handing out flyers which bore my face and a cheesy slogan, but it does mean that I can speak from experience on the matter.

I witnessed first-hand the reactions of the students whom I politely accosted and, at times, it was not pretty.

Knocking on doors in Pollock Halls is quite an experience; most people were friendly enough but some had no idea that there were elections going on at all. Some even said, “You’re the only person who’s been round so I’ll definitely vote for you.”

Mixed emotions spring from comments like that. Partly, you want to heave a huge sigh of disappointment, but their naïveté is actually quite funny. Just wait for the General Elections when you're visited 18 times in two hours by zealous individuals in brightly-coloured t-shirts demanding that you “Vote now! Vote NOW!” Anyone who lived in halls in March of last academic year will know exactly what I’m talking about. My apologies for any inconvenience caused. Worryingly, aside from the friendly mixture of politeness and general ignorance, I only met one person who said, “I have read your election statement and voted for you.” This, of course, could be nothing more than a comment on the quality of my election statement but I get the impression that, actually, people rarely read election statements at all.

They vote for the candidate with the most flyers, or the one they had the nicest chat with at their door or, indeed, the best looking one. If they vote for candidates with weird names I’m clearly a shoe-in for any position I stand for, but am at an unavoidable disadvantage when it comes to getting the ‘girl vote’.

In fact, on receiving my flyer, one smartarse in Pollock Halls actually said to me, “Didn’t anyone tell you that Stevie is a boy’s name?” No, darling, you are the first person in my 23 years to point that out to me.

Bloody well done; now, where did I put that Blue Peter badge?

It would be ridiculous to say that students are disengaged with EUSA’s democratic processes. The statistics tell us that is not the case. This year, 26 students stood for only 20 first-year seats on the Representative Council (SRC), compared to only 15 last year. This is great. It means that voters are able to choose for themselves who is able to represent them and this, combined with my experiences on the campaign trail, shows that students are becoming more engaged. EUSA still has a long way to go in reaching out to as many students as possible.

Stevie Wise

H

ere at Lifestyle, we know how important it is to succeed at the little things in life. Be it love, friendship, university or going out on the lash, we have all the answers.

of the Anthropology Department’s infamous parties and guzzling their free wine. You are left with a pound to treat yourself. Go wild; photocopy some articles.

HOW TO SKIP A TUTORIAL

HOW TO GET SERVED IN A CLUB

First of all skim the first pages of the article/novel/maths question the tutorial would have been addressing.

This may seem counterproductive as you will be spending the tutorial hungover/shopping/sleeping but this step is the key for a believable excuse.

The second step is a well-constructed email: the best excuse is something so ridiculous that no one would ever lie about it.

But always finish the email with a reference to something in the article/novel/maths question you read for step one, and how much you were looking forward to discussing it.

Let’s be honest now. If you are at Opal Lounge then you want a drink - it is absolutely no place to try tackling sober. Once you get to the bar you'll be served pretty quickly. The main challenge is fighting through the crowd of back-combed beauties. With this in mind, it is best to come prepared.

All that’s required are a pair of scissors as big as it is possible to smuggle pass the bouncer. Simply hack your way through. Problem solved!

HOW TO SURVIVE ON £5 Be prepared to lower your standards considerably and forget about most of the major food groups.

Firstly, electricity is a luxury you can do without; limit your activities to daylight hours. The library can provide you with warmth and internet access, while the Chaplaincy in Potterrow will provide the tea. You may spend up to £1 on fruit, £1 on bread and £1 pound on ham. Ham is the only meat you are allowed. You don’t have to cook it and, with the heating turned off in your flat, you won’t have to refrigerate it either.

You can maintain the alcohol levels in your blood stream by crashing one

HOW TO SEND A DRUNKEN TEXT This is surprisingly simple when left to drunken hands: turn on predictive text transforming an uninteresting ‘...’ into a intriguingly sexy ‘:)’.

HOW TO SEE THE DOCTOR It means getting up early, but it's worth it. Open access at the University Health Centre in the mornings between nine and ten is the only way to make sure you get your contraceptive pill on time before you have something else to tell the parents...

HOW TO MEET THE PARENTS Having taken our advice on the sexy texts, you've made it as far as meeting your partner's parents. Congratulations!

You now have a whole minefield of man-

ners to wade through.

Many of your partner's best qualities will have been inherited from his or her parents... unless they’re adopted.

Please check that they are not adopted.

Assuming that everyone is fertile, compliment their parenting skills by telling them how charming and lovely their offspring has become. Should this fail, you could always try backpacking.

When your partner gets food poisoning, leave them in a Buddhist monastery in 50 degree heat. When they lose consciousness, return with a doctor on a motorbike, just in the nick of time; your partner will have a very hazy recollection of the whole incident and you can claim all the glory for saving their life as well as the eternal approval of the parents.

Sound far-fetched? Well, this actually happened to me, so believe it.

HOW TO CHEAT AT MUSIC The following sentences which will make you the toast of any Marchmont flat party: "I’m really getting into world music these days..."

"Listening to 'Beautiful Liar' is like having a musical threesome with Beyoncé and Shakira".

"Dappy from N-Dubz takes genius to a new level of irony" Back the statements up with some Googling and you've made yourself 50 new pals.

At this point, you know you are winning at student life.

A

lana Apfel, second-year Anthropology student and EUSA's newly-elected Women's Action Group Convener, sports an inspiring fusion of vintage, high street and designer. Her coat, with its elegant wide sleeves, was found in Brick Lane and is complemented by the beautiful gold and blue scarf from India; the headscarf, found in a charity shop, injects colour and personality into her outfit. Alana hit the high street to find her military boots from All Saints and her slatecoloured leggings from American Apparel. Her Mulberry bag ties in understated sophistication. Alana’s fashion tip: visit charity shops in upmarket areas to find designer cast-offs.

Adele Merson

Identifying the problem

Shan Bertelli muses over the strict new ID policy of those fortunate people more difficult for foreign students. problematic, losing a passport is a IIt’samwhooneonehardly ever get asked for ID. Some student-friendly places like disaster. of the perks of having looked the Crags, Teviot, and Potterrow are Apart from the fact that we need 23 since I was 15 years old.

However, there have been occasions when I’ve had to scrounge around in the bag to pull out my shiny Singaporean national identity card.

This card comes complete with date of birth, name, race, sex, country of birth, photograph, address, fingerprint, barcode and a hologram of my face.

In Singapore, it’s one of the most important things I own, but when I present it in Edinburgh I get the doubtful looks and furrowed brows of sceptical bouncers and bartenders, apart from one bouncer who, during the Fringe, asked for my ID no less than thrice just so he could tell me that he was born in Singapore… every single time.

Recently however, while buying a spectacularly cheap bottle of what was labelled ‘wine’, my regular ID was outright refused and I was told to come back with a passport.

This stringent policy was undoubtedly introduced to make things easier for bars and clubs that have to deal with a myriad of international IDs, some of which can be easily faked.

But while the club owners can breathe a little easier, this makes things much

more lenient towards ID cards of all types, as are many supermarkets, but it really depends on which branch you go to as some are stricter than others.

In fact, one or two of the cashiers did not even know what I was talking about when I started asking questions.

Not only are they bigger and bulkier, but passports are much easier to lose in the usual state of intoxication.

While losing a driver’s licence is

it to get home, it contains that most important document: the student visa. I’m sure thousands of people can relate to the multiple return trips to the British consulate (because according to them you never have the appropriate papers), and the ridiculous fee required that makes the student visa its owner's most valuable possession.

To put it simply, it’s not something I’d be willing to risk over a cocktail from Opal.

The passport-only policy does make it harder to fake IDs, but it does not stop determined underage drinkers from using other people’s passports or getting older customers to buy them drinks.

Club bouncers may also have a problem on their hands if they’ve got entire lines of scantily-clad girls who haven’t been able to fit their passports in their miniature bags.

All in all, it is still possible to hedge your bets and chance a night out sans passport, but if you’d rather play it safe, make sure there’s room somewhere about your person (be it in the skinny jeans, bra, secret pocket or purse) for the passport.

Fully Funded Study in the USA Up to TEN awards, approx US$80,000 per year, covering tuition fees and living expenses, including travel in the USA, will be available from 1 September 2010 for candidates who wish to pursue a postgraduate programme at the University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, USA. Applications are invited by 5pm on 3rd November 2009.

For further details visit the Thouron Award website at www.thouronaward.org or contact Jennie Eldridge, Award Administrator, on +44 (0)20 7848 3376 quoting ref TA09

Addicted to the box? Email tv.studentnewspaper@googlemail.com

Tuesday 13 October 2009 studentnewspaper.org

Review 23

God hates fangs

Fern Brady sinks her teeth into True Blood, the new US vampire drama

SPEC-DRACULA: The customers were inordinately displeased at Starbucks's new garlic-flavoured frappucino

L

et’s get one thing out of the way: vampire obsession is unforgivably nerdy. More than playing World of Warcraft. More than reading Harry Potter novels. Even more than sci-fi conventions. The growing cluster of vampire obsessives (you know the type: voracious consumers of Anne Rice novels, owners of Twilight pencil cases, etc) always seemed to me to be primarily made up of shy, bespectacled geeks, lured in to a fantasy world through which their repressed sexual desires are acted out by characters darker, sexier and more intriguing than they could

ever be.

Having said that, C4's premiere of True Blood shouldn’t be dismissed by those who find all the swooning, chalky-faced romanticism of Twilight unappealing. Where Twilight offered up restrained sexual tension, True Blood gives you scene after scene of unabashedly demented shagging. While Buffy did the whole good vs. evil shtick, TB takes a less black and white approach wherein everyone is capable of both bad and good. Like BBC3’s Being Human, which featured a vampire, werewolf and ghost living together, the premise

for TB initially reads as too selfconsciously weird: telepathic waitress in small-town Louisiana falls for a 130-year-old vampire. Luckily, with Alan Ball’s signature black humour and brilliantly sharp dialogue, the show is neither predictable nor dull.

In an ingenious move, the small-town ignorance and evangelical religiosity of the Deep South is channeling its hatred into vampires.

Having come out of the coffin two years ago following the development of a synthetic blood, they just want equal rights like every other Ameri-

Talkin' about my generation

TV AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT can. Unfortunately Tru Blood tastes a bit rank so the chances of them sticking to the new meal plan are pretty slim.

In the one sense, not much is different here - vampires are still depicted as angry, sexy rock stars. Further, Bill Compton is identical to every other brooding male vamp love interest you've seen before: gruff, devoid of humour but at his core, he's like, vulnerable at the same time.

Deep, man.

Each time the love story threatens to overwhelm the otherwise rapid pace, it’s brought sharply back into balance with some gleeful violence or filthy vampireon-human action (girls who let vamps bite them are, it would seem, comparable to girls who do it up the bum before they're married).

However, unlike her predecessors of Buffy and Bella, cartoonishly named Sooky Stackhouse is surprisingly likeable as a heroine. Where Buffy would have staked a fanger and said something maddeningly quippy and deadpan about getting blood in her highlights, Sooky earnestly reprimands Bill with lovely Southern belle things like “Enough of that dirty talk!” and “you will treat me like the lady that I am”. Ahh. There’s been a bit of a shitstorm surrounding TB's black characters - numerous bloggers have cited Sooky’s best mate Tara as an example of a black female who’s only ever permitted to be sassy, angry or aggressive. What the aggrieved fail to notice is that Tara’s confrontational approach is most frequently employed in challenging rather than endorsing the hackneyed stereotypes. Upon quitting her job, she tells her boss: “I'mma get my baby daddy who just come outta prison to come and kick your teef in” and, following his look of horror, “I’m not serious, you pathetic racist - I don’t have a baby”. Fuck The Wire. Watch this immediately.

Michael Russam takes aim at the HBO miniseries from the makers of The Wire

W

ithin any popular art form, following an effort that has achieved any kind of critical consensus is notoriously difficult. When this effort is often named the best in its medium, the pressure could be too much to bear. This is the situation that David Simon and Ed Burns, creators of The Wire, found themselves in when conceiving and creating Generation Kill.

Based on a journalistic novel by Evan Wright, this HBO miniseries is about a platoon of marines stationed in Kuwait and impatiently anticipating the invasion of Iraq, along with the character of Rolling Stone columnist Wright. It is at this point in the review that I’ll offer some early words of comfort; disregarding the glorious predecessor which it is saddled with following, Generation Kill’s first episode shows incredible promise.

Simon’s steadfast left-wing credentials have been well documented, and given the programme’s subject matter it should come as no surprise that this is television with a point to make. This is a fact that is impossible to forget during viewing, but it’s a testament to the writers' skills that the show remains

even-headed and balanced, never oversimplifying matters in order to further its politics. It is clear that the plight of the marines is the focus here, and that it is on their behalf that we are intended to empathise with the writer’s anger. Despite this, they aren’t painted as heroes, or even necessarily good people; snatches of crude sexual conversation and racial slurs are heard in the background, with the simple desire to kill that motivates some of the men is not glossed over. The characters that are easier to find sympathetic are

still no more than ordinary men.

They agonise over news of Jennifer Lopez’s apparent death, the camera lingers over their lads mags and packets of Skittles. It’s out of this normality that the writers exercise one of the same secret weapons that they employed so effectively on The Wire: a caustic and knowing wit. It’s no coincidence that many philosophical musings on the nature of conflict and power are made while the speaker is casually urinating.

Nor is it an accident that one of the corporals chooses the precise

WAR ZONE: Massacring innocent Iraqis is more tiring than you'd think.

moment that the battle starts heating up to declare that “lack of pussy is the root fucking cause of all global instability”.

When the political background is explored in a slightly more heavyhanded manner though, it’s nothing if not startlingly affecting. Rather than any perceived futility or unjustness of the shambolic 2003 invasion, the writers choose to focus on the less documented but no less shocking treatment of the marines. Scarcely five minutes pass without a reference to malfunctioning equipment, ill-designed uniforms or the chain of command structure of the military that routinely results in despicable action towards both the American soldiers and Iraqi civilians. The men’s reactions to such events are handled superbly by the actors; the writing impeccably conveys the confusion, melancholia, anticipation and even excitement that courses through them.

If you missed this brilliant premiere, just make sure you catch up before tuning into Channel 4 next Wednesday night. It’ll be one of the more productive hours of your life that you spend glued to a television screen.

NOBODY EXPECTS an article about Monty Python. Well, you should have, because last week was the fortieth anniversary of Monty Python’s Flying Circus first broadcast, and the BBC naturally showed a self-congratulatory series of programmes to celebrate it. Its centrepiece was a new documentary entitled Monty Python: Almost the Truth - The Lawyer’s Cut which the BBC claimed was the first time the remaining Pythons had worked together since The Meaning of Life.

The collaborative effort involved in filming interviews and splicing it with archive footage is rather dubious at best and, unfortunately, that is basically what they have given us.

Nowadays we are familiar with the notion that Monty Python are a national institution and the cornerstone of British humour from which all surrealist comedy has proceeded. Although there were already shows providing a platform for the anarchic humour that became synonymous with the Pythons, their uniqueness and innovation really came in how they played with the conventions of TV itself. Their disgruntlement with the BBC management, coupled with their resentment of mainstream television comedy, fuelled their playfully postmodern take on television with characters wandering into scenes where they do not belong in search of scripted punchlines they were never given. It was this marriage of intellectual bite to the trend for absurd comedy that made it become arguably the first cult television show, not to mention some good old shock value, such as being the first to show female breasts on British screens.

The much more interesting question at stake during this show is not how these six men supposedly changed British comedy forever but how they were capable of producing such a bland documentary about it.

For a troupe that made their name by mocking the television medium, you would have thought they would have been able to play with the generic nostalgic documentary format instead of pandering to it.

A surrealist take on their career may have been the most apt way to handle it - but then again, perhaps it would only have served as a painful reminder that Flying Circus was very much a product of its time. The sketch at the beginning involving blowing up lawyers on televisions was more like watching the flogging of a dead parrot. This was perhaps best expressed by Eric Idle when he claimed that the desire for Monty Python to reunite ‘means you want to be young again, not that you want the old buggers to be back.’

Now, where is that punchline…

Calum Barnes

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

Vindaloo! Vindaloo! I spilled vindaloo all over my keyboard!. tech@studentnewspaper.org

24 Review

TECHNOLOGY LUNAR TECH

Fifa-fo-fum

Jonathan Mowat smells the blood of eleven overpaid Englishmen FIFA 10 ALL FORMATS £39.99 EA



SPACE USED to be so exciting. Firing random animals into the ether just to see what would happen, encasing a bunch of humans into a glorified tin can with an enormous bomb attached to the bottom and less computing power than a mobile phone. As morally questionable as many of the actions of the Space Race may have been, at least it was interesting. Half a century onward, and space is boring. For the past decade the only truly newsworthy occurence was the completion of the International Space Station or, as I prefer to think of it, the International Space Hotel for people so ridiculously wealthy they could build their own full-size rocket out of fifty-pound notes and their bank manager wouldn't notice. Earlier this year Buzz Aldrin criticised NASA's current agenda, in particular the creation of the manned rocket Ares I and spacecraft Orion I, both of which will take five years to build and take us no further than the moon, where we've already been.

One small step for a man, one giant retread of the same bloody ground for mankind.

However, last Friday the current tide of tedium in interstellar activity seemed to change as NASA put into effect their latest plan: to determine whether or not water-ice exists under the lunar surface. Now I know this sounds about as interesting as watching crocodiles evolve, but the method by which this experiment was undertaken was actually quite fascinating. In order to penetrate beneath the lunar surface, NASA deliberately crashed a rocket and a satellite into the moon's Cabeus crater.

Brilliant, eh?

Unfortunately, no. While theoretically the crash was supposed to cause a dust-cloud large enough to be visible from Earth with a common telescope, nobody saw anything. Why? Because the crater absorbed the dust cloud.

Genius. Also, as NASA didn't exactly go out of their way to publicise the event, no one was watching. Maybe this had something to do with the fact the satellite and rocket cost £79 million to make, £79 million which literally went up in smoke (and dust).

Not that it really matters because nobody saw either.

Maybe I'm being a little harsh.

Reports from NASA say that while the event was by no means spectacular, they have gained enough examinable data to make the mission worthwhile.

I wish they had gone to a bit more effort in recording the event than effectively sellotaping a crap webcam to the side of the rocket. Frankly, by now we should have such things in sodding HD. Richard Lane

ootball is not my thing. As a F slightly chubby pre-teen, I was always the last to be chosen for the

lunch time kick-about on the school field amongst moans of "But we had him last time!" As a result I do not consider myself to be a fan of the most popular sport in the world and certainly not a player of games such as FIFA 10. So on experiencing a football game for the first time, I asked myself this: can a complete novice play a game which is in its seventeenth incarnation and aims to please season ticket holders only?

A quick look at the tutorials before kick-off and the answer is undoubtedly yes. After a short while I’m running round like a pro, passing the ball with ease and dribbling like a drunken baby. Despite the controls taking a little bit of getting used to, they are effective and intuitive to use, meaning even the most unskilled and unfit of players can fool themselves into thinking they are the next Ronaldinho. Impressively, the other footballers on the screen, while I failed to recognise a single one of them, don’t move around the pitch like sponsored zombies. Each member of your team runs to where you will need him most, allowing you to perform miraculous chains of professional footwork up and down the pitch with minimum effort.

Simple, perhaps, and the least you

HEY GOOD LOOKIN': That stance really doesn't help Rooney's reputation.

would expect from a football game, but watching a tiny Wayne Rooney score a remarkable goal that you set up from the centre line while the hilarious commentary congratulates you and the beautifully recreated stadium erupts with noise is a great experience. It’s pretty plain to see why the FIFA series has lasted so long.

Unsurprisingly, FIFA 10 is keen to point out all of its shiny new features which set it apart from its competitors such as Virtual Pro: a create-your-own footballer mode adds a role-playing element as you build up your player's stats and skills; a live update provides a constant stream of real-world football fixtures and data before giving you the

option to play those matches. This is the perfect way to recreate those games where your team was robbed of victory because the ref was a 'merchant banker'. Yet even with my very limited knowledge of football games, the core aspect of FIFA 10 is clearly very similar to that of FIFA 09 and probably every FIFA game ever made: that is, to try putting the ball in the other team's net, and repeating this until you are at the top of the league.

While I respect that fans of the series will appreciate the subtle changes and the updates to the team sheets, I can’t help but wonder if £40 is a lot of money for an essentially repackaged version of an older game, which then

offers player upgrades for real cash at the online store. EA also shamelessly flaunts its other games on the pitchside advertising boards.

Business ethics aside, football is all about having fun. After a good few matches, I come to a bit of a shock conclusion: I’m actually enjoying myself. I’ve even scored a goal, which appallingly is the first goal I have ever scored in my life, and received an appropriate victory dance. FIFA 10 has certainly helped me deal with those repressed childhood memories and while I’m not ready to lift the World Cup yet, I do fancy a kick-about in the park.

Advert Effects

Stuart Young examines the internet's embrace of advertising ith ever-increasing download W speeds, endemic piracy and the declining importance of traditional

formats, entertainment companies of all stripes are turning to advertisingonly business models to turn a profit on the internet. For the consumer, it means free content at no cost; for the content provider, guaranteed revenue; for the advertiser, a gift-wrapped target demographic.

Media supported by advertising revenue isn't a new phenomenon.

Newspapers, for example, have been supported by ads since their inception.

Solely ad-funded models are hardly new either: free papers, commercial radio and many TV channels all make the money to support the service entirely from shilling ad space. What is a distinct phenomenon, thanks wholly to the internet, is the vast array of choice and freedom offered by new services paid for with advertising.

Here's an illustration. Derek comes home after a hard day’s water-cooler banter at the office and decides he wants a quiet night in. He starts off by microwaving dinner whilst listening to music using Spotify (www.spotify. com). Spotify is a legal, streaming internet music service, which allows users to access a vast catalogue of songs in an iTunes-style player. The majority

of well-known recording artists are represented (with a few exceptions).

Spotify offers a subscription package, but most users prefer to stream for free, with the spaces in between songs occasionally interrupted by ads.

After Derek has finished munching his freshly-irradiated curry, he fires up Far Cry, a 2004 first-person shooter game re-released for free by publishers Ubisoft on PC, the only catch being the loading screens are now covered

in ads.

The excitement is a bit too much for him, so Derek decides to relax with a sitcom. He decides to find something on Hulu. com, which features programs from ABC, Fox, NBC and other channels; currently only available in the US, a UK version is promised for 2010. These services might sound similar to traditional TV, but the difference is choice. Derek can choose virtually any programme from

these broadcasters without having to watch a pre-set schedule. Hulu and 4-On-Demand (4OD) are more akin to DVD box-sets than television and additionally featured movies.

All evening Derek enjoys a swathe of utterly free entertainment while being bombarded with ads. However, he buys absolutely nothing, and therein lies the rub. All this entertainment is paid for based on the supposed effect of advertising on the audience, but Derek is inured. He has already been exposed to advertising all day and, as the number of ads increases, the value of each is divided accordingly.

Furthermore, if Derek even registers the advertisers who break up his entertainment experiences, he resents them. As the number of ads in circulation increases, advertisers who wish to make an impact have to spend more and more money and soon enough each ad they buy has negligible value.

In short, the promise this model holds for advertisers must be tempered by potential apathy and resistance.

And the more forms of media that adopt it, the less viable it becomes.

Enjoy it, because the free buffet of TV, music, film and games might not last forever.

Puzzles

Shatner says:

(

Puzzles

The Student Crossword #5

ANDY PANDA

Solutions

Sudoku # 5

ACROSS 1 Suffocate (7) 4 Transgression (7) 8 British hard candy (6,5) 12 First man (4) 13 Created (4) 14 Drive back (5) 15 Nationality of Mahatma Gandhi (6) 17 Stalks (5) 22 Has a pH less than seven (4) 23 Halts (5) 24 Petty criminal (4) 25 Absorbent cloth (5) 28 Barren place (6) 30 Dish of raw vegetables (5) 32 Beach Boys music (4) 34 A geezer (4) 35 Astronomy theatre (11) 38 Benzoylmethylecgonine (drug) (7) 39 The Fab Four (7)

2

1

4

7

5

7

6 4

3

4 2

HITORI

Sudoku is a logic-based number-placement puzzle. The objective is to fill the 9×9 grid so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 boxes (also called blocks or regions) contains the digits from 1 to 9 only once.

8

5 8

6

3

9 9

8

1 8

2

3 5

2

9 9

3

4

Hitori # 5 The object of Hitori is to eliminate numbers by shading in the squares such that remaining cells do not contain numbers that appear more than once in either a given row or column. Filled-in cells cannot be horizontally or vertically adjacent, although they can be diagonally adjacent. The remaining un-filled cells must form a single component (i.e there must be no isolated numbers).

16 18 19 20 21 26 27

Evade (5) Flavour (5) Bizarre (9) A surprising palindrome (3) Inquired (5) Twist (4) Concern (4)

28 29 31 33 34 36 37

Individual facts (4) Wander (4) Sturdy twilled trousers (5) Bloodsucking insect (4) Mongrel dog (4) Convent dweller (3) Fish eggs (3)

4

3

7

6

4

6

5

7

4

3

8

9

1

2

5

7

1

4

7

5

8

6

9

3

5

4

2

8

9

8

2

5

1

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DOWN 1 Crouch (5) 2 Streetcar (4) 3 Snake-like fish (3) 5 Oh no, he's got The Swine! (3) 6 Invented in Cambridge to test students (4) 7 Living in James Burnett house is very _________ (9) 8 Building for storing hay (4) 9 Level (4) 10 To cast off clothing (4) 11 Speed contest (4) 14 Elevate (5)

“

What is a Shatnerquake?"

Shatnerquake: A particularly devastating sexual advance from Captain Kirk 15th of September on http://twitter.com/WilliamShatner)

FRED, KIRK & ADAM

SCOTT MAHONY

Tuesday October 13 2009 studentnewspaper.org

26

sport@studentnewspaper.org

Sport

Portsmouth take home two gongs Martin Domin reports on the annual BUCS awards as Edinburgh miss out in the Sportswoman of the Year category THE UNIVERSITY of Portsmouth took home two prizes from the British Universities & Colleges Sport (BUCS) Awards. They were named Most Improved University while the university’s boxing club were named Team of the Year. Edinburgh’s Jenny Jeppsson was beaten to the Sportswoman of the Year award by Rachel Poolman from the University of Wales Institute Cardiff (UWIC). Calum Robb of Heriot-Watt was named Sportsman of the Year, while the Overall Points trophy went to Loughborough University.

Robb, a PhD student, became the World Wado Karate Champion last August and also has European, British, Scottish and Commonwealth titles under his belt. With 12 British university gold medals and undoubtedly the top karate fighter in the UK, Robb is ranked third in the world.

On receiving his award, Robb said: “The Sports Scholarship I receive from Heriot-Watt University is integral to my success. My most successful years to date in my career have been whilst I am at university. Combining both academic pursuits with sporting commitments is challenging; however, my Sports Scholarship ensures academic flexibility and provides me with the best environment in which to achieve at the highest level, both academically and in my chosen sport of karate.”

Poolman meanwhile has won 27 caps for the Welsh senior rugby squad and was a member of the 2009 Six Nations winning team.

She played in three of the four winning UWIC sides at the BUCS Rugby Championships, captaining the squad last season but missing the final due to a broken leg suffered during the Wales/France Six Nations game.

On receiving her award, Poolman said: “Playing university sport has been extremely beneficial to my rugby career. It has given me the opportunity and allowed me to compete and train at the highest standard possible and pursue my sporting ambitions alongside my education. It would be fair to say I wouldn’t have achieved the success I have within rugby without the backing of UWIC.

“Through my time at university I have received the best coaching available, had access to great facilities and conditioning coaches, and all this whilst playing alongside my friends and some of the most enthusiastic and talented rugby players around.”

Edinburgh’s Jepson was shortlisted after an impressive year. She is a member of the Archery Club and has represented the University and her country in several events over the year.

The University of Portsmouth Boxing Club was recognised after it increased its membership by 32

percent and introduced a scholarship scheme to attract prospective students to the university.

In addition to its success in producing male and female winners at both BUCS and English University championships, the club also runs coaching sessions in schools and with disadvantaged youth groups.

It spent the last year developing links with the police, the Navy and voluntary organisations to provide additional competitions and development for its members.

Other awards dished out included the Unsung Hero Award which went to Sam Lumb. She was

nominated by her university for dedicating nearly ten years to sport at Aberystwyth while studying.

Lumb has given her time freely to both the football and rugby union teams at the university, competing, coaching and developing new teams to enter BUCS competitions. Outside of the university she also coaches locally at Abertown Academy and sits on the Central Wales Football Association, in addition to taking students on tour each year.

After a successful first year of the BUCS and Right To Play partnership, the Red Ball Award was given

to the UK student who has done the most this year to champion the cause of BUCS’ chosen charity.

BUCS was proud to honour Leo Matlock, a student who has gone above and beyond the call of duty to enable Right To Play to continue its important work. Matlock was a Student Ambassador at the University of Warwick, and in his time he arranged countless events and campaigns that contributed significantly to the £10,000 that his university managed to raise this year.

SPORTING SUCCESS: Calum Robb, John Inverdale and Kelly West at the BUCS Awards Ceremony

Edinburgh's basketball women lead the way Martin Domin rounds up the week's sporting action from across the country THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh's women’s basketball side began their Scottish Conference campaign with a narrow victory over Stirling. The home side climbed to the top of the table after the 57-55 win as they edged out a Stirling side who had begun the season with a stunning demolition of Dundee the week before.

The side now make the short trip to face Queen Margaret University on Wednesday as they look to build on their impressive opening victory.

There was more good news for the women’s second string as they beat

St. Andrews’ first team in their first match of the season. Edinburgh field the only seconds team in their league, with Abertay, Robert Gordon, Glasgow and St. Andrews all fielding first teams. Despite the tough outlook, this result would suggest that the Edinburgh side are more than capable of holding their own, though the men’s second team were unable to complete a hat trick of victories as they were beaten by West of Scotland by 89 points to 86. They too travel to play Queen Margaret this week.

There were also promising signs

from Edinburgh’s hockey teams as they won three of their four fixtures last week. The men’s seconds recorded a fine victory over Glasgow’s first team as they won 4-2 away from home. As the only second team in their league, they have a tough season ahead, but this result will have given them confidence as they prepare for another away fixture this week against St. Andrews. The men’s fourth team edged out rivals Heriot-Watt 5-4 as they too began their campaign with victory, but the men’s third team were narrowly beaten by Glasgow’s second

team who scored the only goal of the game. The woman’s fourth team also recorded an impressive win as they took on Stirling’s first team at Peffermill. The 3-1 victory sets them up nicely for the trip to Glasgow this week.

Meanwhile, in rugby, Edinburgh’s fourth side caused something of an upset as they saw off the third team at Peffermill. The 51-34 triumph means that despite being the only fourths side in the league, Edinburgh will be hopeful of causing further upsets during the course of the year.

The men’s football side lifted themselves off the bottom of the East of Scotland Premier League after a 0-0 draw at home to Civil Service Strollers. Despite a poor start to the season, the team are only six points behind third place and will be hoping to haul themselves up the table in the weeks to come. The team take a break from league duty this weekend as they face Tynecastle in the South Challenge Cup second round while they make the short trip to play Heriot-Watt tomorrow in the BUCS Scottish Conference.

Addicted to the box? Email sport@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday 13 October 2009 studentnewspaper.org

Sport 27

Edinburgh run rugged over a weak Abertay Jonny Davis sees the University's Second XV begin the league in style Men's Rugby Scottish Conference 3 University of Edinburgh University of Abertay

32 0

The University of Edinburgh Second XV got their league campaign off to a phenomenal start last Wednesday with a breathtaking 32-0 victory over an out-of-sorts Abertay First XV. So typical of a season opener is the exhibition of a sporting ‘Freshers hangover’, where the necessity for integration of new talent leads to an initial period of squads acclimatising to both new personnel and, for some, a new environment. Judging by the performances of Wednesday’s game it seems that Abertay in particular are experiencing all the negative effects of said hangover and in truth, the 32-0 scoreline is a woefully kind depiction of the standard of the visiting team.

Both sides signalled their intentions for the game early on, with Edinburgh linking together some solid phase rugby and a few good set pieces. Alternatively, the visitors set their respective tone with numerous handling errors and a somewhat agricultural approach to the game at the breakdown. Abertay were penalised right from the off with two successive calls of hands-in-the-ruck. A resultant penalty right in front of the posts provided Edinburgh with the opportunity to get some easy points on the board, but captain Ed Barden had other ideas. With the call for a kick to touch, the home side pinned Abertay back in their 22 and set up their backs for a set move. Sensing the ominous danger, the visiting side smothered the lineout doing what they could to force slow ball. Patiently stringing together some solid forward play, Edinburgh waited until fast ball and struck. Fullback fresher Andy Bryans joined the attack with

devastating pace and precision, slicing through a painfully powerless defensive line to touch down under the posts. To the visitors' dismay, an easy conversion placed Edinburgh in a 7-0 lead within the first ten minutes.

Abertay’s fortunes didn’t seem like changing much either, with their insistence on handling in the ruck and playing the ball from offside positions. The referee awarded two consecutive penalties right in front of the visitors' posts and had it not been for Edinburgh’s ineffectual kicking display, the visiting side could have found themselves out of the game before it had really begun.

In utter territorial dominance, Edinburgh should have really wrapped up the game before the half-time break. Having tasted the try-line earlier in the match, fullback Bryans crossed the line again with a scintillating run from his own 22, only to be pulled back by the referee for what he adjudged to be crossing. Phase after phase of good solid rugby gave the home side yet further opportunities to stretch their lead, but a combination of un-synchronised back play and an absent goal-kicking display meant that Edinburgh left the opposition’s 22 time and again, with no score.

Frustration mounted in both camps and Edinburgh’s pertinacious determination to score led to a somewhat out-of-practice defensive game. The Abertay scrum-half took two identical quick-taps to break the stunned line of defence, only for this display of audacity to be punished by the hugely impressive fullback Bryans. Back to their rightful place in the opposition's 22, Edinburgh finally scored again in the form of outside-centre Piers Lomax after some refreshingly adventurous off-loads.

At 12-0, an already daunting task was made just that much harder for the visitors at half-time. An insistent

disregard for the rules at the breakdown meant that Abertay began the second half with just 14 men.

It didn’t take long for the numerically superior home side to begin turning the screw. A now habitual lack of discipline from the visitors gave away a penalty right in front of the posts, and replacement kicker Willy Nelson made no mistake in slotting it over.

Moments after the restart, Edinburgh were through the posts once more with winger Ed Broughton finishing off the best move of the game, inspired again by fullback Bryans.

Though the return to a full-

strength XV did to some extent bolster the Abertay defence, Edinburgh were now playing with some real excitement, and the air of confidence was tangible.

The waves of the home side’s attack were as relentless as the Abertay penalty count. With a now clinical goal kicker in Willy Nelson, the scoreboard was becoming less and less kind to the ill-disciplined visitors. Synchronicity now at large in the Edinburgh ranks, a bulldozing run from Dom Davies was finished off by his fellow back-rower Andrew Needham to set up the fulltime score of 32-0.

Edinburgh thrash Napier at Peffermill Ed Senior watches Edinburgh score five against their rivals to continue impressive run Men's Football Scottish Conference 2 University of Edinburgh Napier University

5 1

the university of Edinburgh's Men’s Football second team began their BUCS campaign with a hardfought victory against newcomers to the league Napier at Peffermill. Edinburgh were undefeated throughout the whole of their university matches last year, winning the league and the cup only to be denied promotion by a technicality that only first teams can play in the top league. Yet, based on results, this is something that clearly needs to be rectified.

Edinburgh were however fielding a much changed side from the team that started the good run last October, with only four players remaining in the starting 11. This did not affect the result however, as Edinburgh recorded a comprehensive 5-1 victory over their local rivals.

The match itself was scrappy

throughout with much of the play bypassing Edinburgh’s two talented central midfielders, Alex Maxwell and David Meehan, in what can only be described as an exhibition of route one football. Yet, with 21 minutes on the clock the deadlock was broken when Calum Erskine hit a free kick which swung past the stranded keeper, due mainly to the huge deflection off a player in the wall, putting Edinburgh 1-0 up.

This was how the game remained until half-time with both sides cancelling out any threat with strong defensive displays. Kyle O’Neill was brought on to replace the injured forward Stevie Galloway, who had a suspected dead leg. However, the change by stand-in managers Erskine and Darren Leslie proved to be a good call when O’Neill harassed the Napier keeper into a mistake which led to an easy tap-in for the striker.

Napier were handed a lifeline minutes later when a ball ricocheted unkindly off the ground straight onto the arm of Leslie. Despite

there being no Napier player around and the handball clearly not being deliberate, a penalty was awarded to the away side. Edinburgh goalie Tom Agnew had saved a penalty in one of his previous two games this season, but he was powerless to prevent Chris MacIntyre, perhaps Napier’s best player, from powering the ball into the net to reduce the visitors' arrears.

Yet, the comeback never materialised and instead Erskine and Leslie brought on Jamie Sime for Steve Kenny and with his first touch of the game, Sime put the home side two goals clear again. Jordan Roberts took a Rory Delap style throw-in, Maxwell flicked it on and Sime, with his back to goal, hooked the ball into the bottom right hand corner.

With 20 minutes left on the clock, things got worse for Napier as their defence once again failed to deal with Agnew’s impressive kicking. The ball was sent straight from the goalkeeper’s boot into the opposing penalty area and landed at the

feet of Tom Archer, who calmly placed the ball past the on-coming keeper to put the victory beyond doubt.

Erskine and Leslie then made their final change, bringing Mario Velez, a Commercial Law post-graduate from Seattle, on for his first BUCS game.

The striker wasted no time in getting his name on the scoresheet when a quick break from the home side put O’Neill away down the right wing and he sent in a good cross onto the feet of Valez, who slotted the ball into the net giving Edinburgh a comfortable 5-1 victory.

The scoreline may not do Napier justice, but Edinburgh were clinical with their finishing and the defence was strong against a poor attack.

With managerial debuts for Erskine and Leslie, in a match where all three substitutes scored, there was much to celebrate for the second team. As for the undefeated status, it looks like that will remain the case for some time to come.

Injury Time takes A look at the world of sport

Follow the Irish ANY SCOTLAND fan watching the Republic of Ireland come within seconds of beating Italy on Saturday must have been reminded of a time when it was their own country taking points from the world’s best sides. But for a careless final minute, Ireland would have given themselves a chance of qualifying automatically for South Africa. As it is, they will face a play-off next month as they bid to reach next year’s showpiece event.

Regardless of their failure to top the group, Ireland look set to finish unbeaten over their ten matches, which is an achievement in itself. Bulgaria and Cyprus may not be worldbeaters but the former can boast such players as Dimitar Berbatov, Valeri Bozhinov, Stilian Petrov and his namesake Martin. Players who would most likely walk straight into Ireland’s starting 11. The question remains why Ireland have succeeded where Scotland failed so spectacularly?

As Ireland were holding one of the world’s best sides to a draw, Scotland’s second string were on the way home from Japan following a 2-0 defeat.

A quick glance at the Ireland team does not give an immediate answer to the question. While the front two of Robbie Keane and Kevin Doyle have the edge over Scotland’s forward line, their midfield falls short of what Scotland can offer. A centre midfield pairing of Keith Andrews and Glen Whelan would surely be overrun by Darren Fletcher and Scott Brown.

Aiden McGeady and James McFadden are not poles apart and in defence, and Sean St Ledger has always been a Championship level player at best.

He is undoubtedly partnered by an excellent defender in Richard Dunne while Kevin Kilbane has now accrued 99 caps and adds a wealth of experience at left back - a problem position for Scotland. Craig Gordon however is on a par with Shay Given as one of the best keepers in Britain.

The answer may be the experience of the Irish team. Between them, the back five against Italy have played 316 times for their country while Robbie Keane is another closing in on a century of caps. Scotland’s likely defensive line-up for the next campaign will, in contrast, have barely 100 caps between them.

One other major difference lies in the side’s respective managers.

The number of call-offs for the game against Japan has once again led to questions regarding the respect the Scotland players have for George Burley. Giovanni Trapattoni meanwhile is one of the most successful managers in football. It is fair to say that Ireland were able to appoint such a manager due to the financial assistance of billionaire Denis O’Brien, who is paying half of the Italian’s reported £750,000-a-year salary, but the decision has certainly paid off.

Burley may have been given a stay of execution, but the SFA must look at the situation again after the friendly in Wales next month. Another spate of call-offs for that match will raise more questions about his future. If he does go, the SFA must be bold. They must not let the Berti Vogts disaster put them off appointing a foreign manager as long as he is from the top drawer. I might even offer up my student loan if it will help.

Sport studentnewspaper.org Tuesday October 13 2009

Footballers continue winning habit

26

Edinburgh's second side score five against Napier P

Edinburgh record impressive rugby win Ian Powell reports from Stirling as Edinburgh continue their unbeaten run against Scottish sides Men's Rugby Scottish Conference University of Stirling University of Edinburgh

17 37

EDINBURGH'S FIRST XV recorded a 37-17 win against Stirling University in the SUS League, leaving them unbeaten against Scottish university opposition and at top of the league.

Scoring tries has been a hallmark of the team this year, and Wednesday's match proved no different. Following his hat-trick the previous Saturday against RHC, a game which the university were unlucky to lose 31-38, winger Sam Bellhouse continued where he left off and ran in the game’s first try.

Although relentlessly putting points on the board in the first half, the University was unable to pull away from Stirling. This was in large part due to some good place-kicking from the home side’s stand-off who kept them in the game with a number of well-taken penalties.

Late in the half, flanker Jamie Doubleday used his power to burst through the defence to touch down and Captain Jamie Clegg returned from injury to finish off an incredible passage of play which was started with a trademark Phil Lucas turnover.

Doubleday returned to wreak more havoc on a tired Stirling in the second half when he took a short ball from substitute stand-off Liam Steele, who was playing his first match back since moving to Premier One club Stewarts-Melville. After taking the direct route through the defence Doubleday then floated a great pass out to fullback Michael Johnson who ensured that he kept his 100 percent try-scoring record by touching down in the corner.

By now Edinburgh were in complete control and playing some excellent rugby against the side that won the SUS championship last year.

Exemplifying the type of rugby that coaches Luis Arola and Dale Lyon have been drilling into the first XV, the University’s last try was a great example of attacking rugby and clever running. Inside centre Danny McCormick showed off his superior vision and tactical nous by taking the ball to the game-line before sliding the ball to James McTurk who cut an excellent line and went under the posts untouched.

Clegg said after the game that “it was just so re-assuring to see the Dale Lyon game-plan work so well, the

team are really coming together and I don’t think it is too over-optimistic to have really high hopes of a successful season in both SUSA and National One." National One is now the immediate concern for the University who saw a fantastic start of back-to-back victories slowly stall and peter out to two losses and a draw. However, the

club are still unbeaten at Peffermill and there are high hopes that this will remain intact after the weekend’s visit from the tough Borderer’s outfit Langholm RFC. As always with the Saturday National One fixtures the University will be hard-pressed to be beaten in respect of talent or speed. The scrum, which has been the traditional Achilles' heel

of the team, has shown real signs of a revival, and this is in no small part due to the introduction of some new fresher blood this year. Players such as James Lloyd and Tom Morris have found the step up to men’s rugby surprisingly comfortable and have been stand-out performers in the set-piece.

This was amply illustrated by some great scrummaging by the University

RISING ABOVE THE REST: Action from Edinburgh's victory over Stirling in the BUCS Scottish Conference

last weekend against Royal High Costorphine RFC. If the University can combine this rejuvenation of a traditional weakness into a strength with their consistent ability to score points out wide, there is a very good chance that this could be an enormously successful year for the first XV.