Tuesday November 3 2009 | Week 7
Facebook Taxidermy? With social networking showing no signs of stopping, we ask: is a memorial profile really necessary? COMMENT
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"Pull an RDXR on the dancefloor" Special pullout featuring moves for the 21st century
P6 P15
LIFESTYLE
S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2009 S I N C E 1887
T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ER
SNP promise new deal on student funding Huge income boosts available for cashstrapped students
Painting the Old Town red
Pagan performers take over the Royal Mile for the Samhuinn festival
Stairwell blaze in South Clerk Street Students forced to jump out of windows Case being treated as 'suspicious' Anna MacSwan LOTHIAN AND Borders Police have launched an investigation after a fire broke out in a tenement building on South Clerk Street around 10pm last Sunday, 25th of October. A total of 22 residents were evacuated from the building, on the corner with Bernard Terrace, after a mattress was set alight in the communal stairwell. The case is being treated as suspicious, though no arrests have been made as yet. Edinburgh University student Chris Hutchens was forced to climb out of his first floor window to escape the fire, saying: “I went into the kitchen and smelt a very odd
burning smell. My flat mate George then ran through to tell me that there was smoke rising out the back of the building. The fire alarm then sounded and I proceeded to exit the flat via the stairs. On opening the door the whole stairwell was filled with smoke. I then grabbed [flat mate] Scott who was sleeping, and thought I'd grab my mattress and lower myself down onto it to pavement level. It was quite scary in the first instance until we were outside and could see that the fire was contained in the stairwell. I'm just hoping someone will come and clean the soot off now.” Those on higher levels, however, were trapped until arrival of emergency services. Dan Hope, another student resident, told The Student that “There were four of us in the flat when the fire alarm went off, which we soon realised was due to the black smoke seeping in under our front door. We couldn’t leave the flat, at least by conventional means, so we rang the fire brigade and waited in my flat mate's room at the front of the house to avoid the smoke, effectively trapped as we were on the top floor, too high up to
escape via the windows. The engines arrived promptly and a fireman came up on a big ladder to see that we were ok, and climbed in through the window to make sure it was safe for us to leave. We were then escorted out by two more firemen, pulling clothing up over our mouths to avoid smoke inhalation. Whoever started the fire may have had the opportunity because the front door is often left open. I don't feel, however, that it was a targeted attack! The hallway still stinks of smoke and the effects of the fire are very visible on the walls but I don't think there was any major damage.” Watching from his flat around the corner, second year student Robert Potts described the fire as “a gradual progression of orange glow, cracking windows, flames then surging as high as the top floor.” Another neighbour who witnessed the fire on her way home said: “Several people dotted around the intersection were shouting. I looked up and around to try to
figure out what was going on, and suddenly a mattress flew out the first floor corner window onto the head of the man walking in front of me. The guy was ok, and I waited there while he helped the boys crawl down the stationary shop canopy from their first floor window, from which white smoke was coming out”. A spokesperson for Lothian and Borders Fire and Rescue Service said: “It is very fortunate that everyone was rescued safely no doubt in part due to the fact that firefighters arrived at the scene very quickly and used a ladder to get to one of the residents who was trapped in his flat. "We would urge people not to allow rubbish or debris of any kind to be left in a common stair as they can be attractive to firesetters. They can also impede escape if a fire does break out. Once again the worth of having a smoke alarm fitted was demonstrated allowing residents to call the emergency services quickly.” news@studentnewspaper.org
NEIL HODGINS
Neil Pooran IN ONE of the biggest announcements on student funding in years, the Scottish Government has given in to demands from students and opposition parties for more financial support for students. From the beginning of next academic year, over 75,000 students will receive up to £1,227 more in funding. Original plans would have meant no student would have got more than £442 extra in cash. Education Secretary Fiona Hyslop surprised many by making her announcement last Wednesday in the Pleasance Cabaret Bar, a popular student union venue. The issue of student funding has plagued Hyslop for several months, but she now seems to have won cross-party support for her proposals. Ms Hyslop said: “Following detailed discussions with NUS Scotland, I can announce that student incomes will rise by up to £1,227 for independent students and up to £662 for dependent students. We will introduce a new grant for independent students – often mature students with their own families to support – to ensure they get the same help as other students. Overall, this will see the incomes of more than 75, 000 students rise and help counter the impact of the recession on students who are finding it increasingly difficult to find part-time employment. “We also intend, as we said we would, to increase the funding available for students with childcare needs and to increase the income assessed student loan by up to £442 next year. She continued: “We have worked hard in close co-operation with NUS Scotland to ensure this money goes as far as possible and is targeted as effectively as possible. That’s why we will increase the additional loan available to those students in the greatest hardship. This demonstrates our determination to adapt our policies in the short term to raise the income of students when part-time work is harder to come by, when banks are lending money on less favourable terms and when stuContinued on page 3 »
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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What’s in this issue NEWS »p1–5
»
BLOOD DONATION DEBATE p4
Joshua King reports on student protests against the ban on gay blood donation
TEVIOT'S TRANSFORMATION p5
Last week it was a new toilet, now EUSA are going all the way
RACIST LECTURERS p5
Aberdeen University faces allegations of racial favouritism, reports Guy Rughani
COMMENT »p8-9 ALL ABOUT CHEMISTRY? p6
Students apathetic to crime despite being most at risk Jen Mah STUDENTS ARE largely unconcerned about crime despite being the group most likely to be affected, a survey by the National Union of Students has revealed. The 2008/2009 British Crime Survey showed students to be three times more likely to be victims of theft than any other group. However, the NUS has found that 84.4 per cent of freshers are ‘unconcerned about the risk they face of becoming victims of burglary.’ The survey, which received responses from 900 students throughout the UK, showed that the only concerns amongst students ranking lower than crime are the possibility of contracting swine flu (8.4 per cent) and having to attend lectures (15.2 per cent).
Freshers were found to be more concerned about money (70.4 per cent), work deadlines (46 per cent), and not making friends (44.8 per cent). Moreover, although the vast majority will be taking laptops, mobile phones, iPods, and printers with them to University, contents insurance was not shown to be a top priority. Though 41.6 per cent of those surveyed ‘plan to do so’, 33.4 per cent have no intention to purchase cover for their belongings. A third-year student at the University of Edinburgh, and current house assistant in Pollock Halls, told The Student that although she feels that security in Pollock overall is fine, “students need to be more aware that ground floor windows that are left open are easy to get into, and that opportunistic thieves can easily climb
through.” NUS Vice President for Welfare, Ben Whittaker, commented that “because most students live in communal households, they are particularly at risk from walk-in-theft”, and advised “students to take extra care when it comes to making sure their doors and windows are locked, and to get insurance which covers walk-in-theft.” In response to these figures, Home Office Minister David Hanson has revealed that ‘the Government has provided £175,000 to the NUS to help educate students about the simple things they can do to protect themselves,’ with the hope that they can provide ‘practical help and advice to young people leaving home for the first time.’ news@studentnewspaper.org
Mairi Gordon argues that there's no perfect formula for love
ARTS&FEATURES »p9-21
HOGGING THE LIMELIGHT p12
Luke Healey and Hannah Ramsey offer two takes on Confessions of a Justified Sinner
AUTUMN COLOURS p14
Emma Segal finds outs what's hot on the high street this season
Paddy Douglas reckons everyone's favourite cartoon family should call it a day
SPORT »p23-24 BOUNCING TO VICTORY? Alice Carver reports from the SUS trampolining competition
PLAINTIFF AND PLANET: This lot lost their High Court case against the Treasury.
People and Planet vs. HM Treasury (Darling wins)
Lara Zarum
Testing. One, two, one , two. No there are still only two
The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org
JULIA SANCHES
FED UP WITH FAMILY GUY p20
A TRIO of environmental groups are left disappointed after the High Court denied their recent request for a judicial review over the Treasury. Environmental organisations World Development Movement (WDM), Platform, and People & Planet allege that the Treasury disregarded the environmental and human rights issues surrounding the activities of Vedanta Resources, a British mining company that receives funding from the state-owned Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS). With the government owning a 70 per cent stake in RBS, the three groups argue that the bank used public money to finance controversial activities. However, on Tuesday 20 October, the High Court blocked the organisations’ request to investigate whether the Treasury had fully complied with the law. The High Court denial seems to contradict a recent report from the UK National Contact Point (UK
NCP), an arm of the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills. The report claims Vedanta’s activities in the Indian state of Orissa are unethical. In particular, the report criticises Vedanta’s plans to mine bauxite, an aluminium ore, from the holy mountains of Niyamgiri. The UK NCP asserts that mining bauxite in this spiritually significant site “would cause round-the-clock disturbance to both people and wildlife.” The Treasury argued at a preliminary hearing that the issues raised by the coalition of environmental groups are irrelevant to the “commercial” interests of RBS. However Rosa Curling, a solicitor for the law firm Leigh Day & Co. which represents the coalition, argued that the Treasury’s stance contradicts the government’s larger responsibility towards climate change. People & Planet director Ian Leggett commented on the apparent discord between Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s stated commitment to climate change and the Treasury’s
involvement in the Vedanta controversy. “This government has given itself a clear legal duty to assess the impacts of its spending on the climate change which threatens young people and future generations,” he said. The University of Edinburgh arm of People & Planet caused a stir at the beginning of October when members campaigned against the inclusion of RBS representatives in the university’s Careers Fair. On Friday 30 October, members of People & Planet handed Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling nearly 1,000 action cards showing public support for the legal battle against the Treasury. Ruth Cape, co-convenor for the Edinburgh University’s branch of People & Planet, stressed that the organisation was not giving up without a fight. “We’re going through the appeal process,” she affirmed, “so we’re going to keep pushing and keep the pressure up.” news@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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News 3
LYLE BRENNAN
Education secretary announces funding turnaround
FUNDTASTIC FOUR: (From left) EUSA VP James Wallace, NUS Scotland President Liam Burns, Education Secretary Fiona Hyslop, SNP MSP Keith Brown Continued from front page...
the greatest financial pressures.”
The new money comes after much lobbying from NUS Scotland. Liam Burns, NUS Scotland President, said: “This is great news for students. For years we’ve been calling for student hardship to be prioritised over graduate debt, getting money into students’ pockets when they need it most, and today’s announcement does this. “The Government have shown themselves to be responsive, flexible and genuinely working with, and for, students. We have worked closely with both the Government and the opposition parties, and I believe this is a clear example of what can be achieved when people put politics to one side to work together for the best possible outcome. “But we still have a long way to go.
Even with this money, students will still be living below the poverty line, and we know levels of credit card borrowing and other commercial debt have increased to unprecedented levels. While the extra cash will help, students will be making the case over the coming months for the reform of the student support system in Scotland. “This is a great first step to ensuring we stop students being forced out today, rather than supporting those who graduated yesterday. Students across Scotland will be grateful that the Cabinet Secretary has used the money to benefit those who need it most.” Labour's Shadow Minister for Higher Education Claire Baker MSP welcomed Hyslop’s announcement,
Hyslop holiday hulaballoo
Harrison Kelly
SCOTTISH EDUCATION secretary Fiona Hyslop MSP returned to Parliament this week following claims she was burying her head in the sand over student finance. Concerns were raised by opposition parties over Ms Hyslop’s absence during this year’s fiasco over student loans and crucial talks with the NUS over where best to spend the £30 million promised to Scottish students. Murdo Fraser, Scottish Conservative Shadow Cabinet Secretary for Education & Lifelong Learning, said: "The Scottish Government have set the timetable for this consultation all along, and have simply not allowed enough time for detailed responses on what is a very technical matter.” This year thousands of students were left out of pocket as the Student Loans Company faced an ongoing backlog of applications. Although the Student Finance England crisis fell outwith Ms. Hyslop’s jurisdiction, many criticised her absence
from parliament at a time seen to be critical for students. The call comes after talks with Ms Hyslop's stand-in, Schools Minister Keith Brown, NUS and opposition leaders broke down last week, with their alternative option as to how the £30 million made available for Scottish student support should be allocated being shunned. “This is no way to conduct the business of government. They have to get back around the negotiating table, and Fiona Hyslop has to be there.” Mr. Fraser announced. Claire Baker, Scottish Labour Higher Education spokesperson, said: "This is ridiculous, students risk losing out because of Fiona Hyslop's holiday. For the sake of a few days considering an alternative approach the Scottish Government have jeopardised the possibility of getting the best deal for students. We need the Cabinet Secretary to take the matter urgently in hand.” news@studentnewspaper.org
saying the move was a climb-down from the Education Secretary. Ms Baker also urged the Scottish Government to back education expert Sir Andrew Cubie's call for a review of the student support system. She said: “We supported this proposal as soon as it was put forward. Keith Brown (Hyslop’s undersecretary) rejected it completely last week. Fiona Hyslop has had to be dragged kicking and screaming to this point, but I am glad that she overruled her junior minister and listened to students and opposition parties on this matter. “As a direct result of our efforts we got Fiona Hyslop to put £2 million extra into childcare, an increase in student income through government loans and the new Independent Student Bursary and money on top of that for the poor-
est young and mature students. “However, the campaign against student hardship must not stop here. It is clear that the current system of student support needs to be reviewed. We need to see what ways we can get more money directly into students' pockets and Labour supports Sir Andrew Cubie in that goal." The Liberal Democrats also saw the new policy as a victory. Education spokesperson Margaret Smith said: “This is a welcome U-turn from the Education Secretary. “It has taken hard work by the opposition parties and NUS Scotland to drag the SNP kicking and screaming into the best deal for Scotland’s students. “Today’s decision absolutely vindicates our refusal simply to go along
THE SNP'S NEW DEAL •
Independent students (mostly mature students) will receive up to £1,227 more in loans
•
Dependent students to receive up to £622 more in loans
•
£2 million to be allocated via universities and colleges to students with childcare needs
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A grant for independent students to be made available for the first time, of up to £1,000, benefitting an estimated 14,000 students
•
Maximum level of zero interest income assessed loan to increase by £422, benefitting an estimated 75,900 students
•
Additional student loan for young people to go from £605 to £785, benefitting an estimated 44,500 students in the greatest hardship
with the Government’s options and campaign instead for a better option that puts more money into students' pockets. “The Education Secretary promised to replace loans with grants, but today’s statement is clear. The SNP has abandoned this key election promise. “And while this £30 million will now help students across the country, let’s not forget that it is a drop in the ocean compared to the £2 billion promise to scrap student loans, dumped by the SNP when they came to power.” The new proposals still fall short of the £7,000 ‘minimum income guarantee’ which student unions, university rectors and opposition parties have been campaigning for. news@studentnewspaper.org
An unpleasant incident Neil Pooran STAFF AND students at the Pleasance student union were shocked after a man fell from the roof of the building in a bizarre incident on Saturday 24 October. Horrified staff provided first aid to the man before he was taken away by ambulance. As yet, the reasons why he was climbing the three-storey building and why he fell down remain a mystery. EUSA Vice President for Services James Wallace told The Student: “At around 4pm on Saturday 24th October 2009 at 60 Pleasance a member of the public entered the courtyard and climbed a drain pipe at the Salisbury block, when the man reached the roof he fell. “First aid was administered and the man was conscious when he left the premises in an ambulance. The man was not a student.” The police were called about the incident. The extent of the man’s injuries remains unclear. news@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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News
Crime and drug-dealing plummet in Edinburgh clubs under 'Unight' scheme Guy Rughani DRUG DEALING and violence have reached an all-time low in Edinburgh’s 45 clubs, as the Unight scheme continues to crackdown on antisocial behaviour. There has been a 21 percent drop in violent crime outside venues, and serious assaults on staff and clubbers have fallen by 50 percent. Founded in 2007 as part of the Scottish Government’s Safer Scotland initiative, Unight is a coalition of all 45 of Edinburgh’s late licence venues. The umbrella organisation works closely with Lothian and Borders Police and passes on information so that criminal activity at nightclubs can be prosecuted. The group's chairman, Sarah David of Cabaret Voltaire, said: "I believe that the fact that every venue in Edinburgh has stepped up and taken ownership in trying to create a safer night-time economy for our patrons and staff is what has made Unight stand out. Unight acts as an effective deterrent.” One of the key weapons in Unight’s armoury is the widespread provision
of CCTV. Images are recorded as each guest enters a venue and, should they cause trouble, their files can be sent to the door staff of any other late night venue in the city. In this way, troublemakers are denied entry to any further clubs that night and from any other Edinburgh club for a minimum of three months. Many have praised the efforts of the city’s clubs as a perfect example of self-regulation, and the initiative received an Outstanding Achievement accolade at this year’s Scottish Police Awards. Unight advisor Bruce Johnston said: “It's self-regulation that has allowed troublemakers who are not wanted in these venues to be kept out. The scheme has coincided with this drop in crime around nightclubs and Unight has been a major factor.” Edinburgh is widely reported as one of the UK’s safest cities, and in a recent poll by 4clubbers.net was rated as having the safest nightlife in Britain. Despite this, some students still feel unsafe on nights out. “I’d go out with a group, but if there were only a couple of us I’d be really wary about going down Lothian Road late at night,” said second-year Pete
UNIGHTED: Edinburgh club Cab Vol has pioneered the successful Unight safety scheme Lewis. “There are always dodgy characters hanging round down there.” The Police recognise that a problem still exists and are working with Unight plan to reduce drug dealing and violent crime even further in the coming year.
Students challenge gay blood donation ban STUDENTS STAGED a protest against a National Blood Service policy prohibiting blood donation from gay and bisexual men. Tuesday’s protest, held outside a Safety of Blood, Tissues and Organs (SaBTO) committee review of donations and exclusions, marked another significant step in the ongoing Donation Not Discrimination campaign. The protesters called for SaBTO to end the blanket ban on gay and bisexual men donating blood, and to
use selection criteria based on highrisk behaviour, rather than sexual orientation. Labeled by the campaign website as "unscientific and unjust", the blanket ban was introduced in the early 1980s and precludes all men who have engaged in oral or anal sex with another man from donating. Practising gay and bisexual men are listed alongside prostitutes and intravenous drug users as a group at a high risk for HIV/AIDS and the NHS maintains that “sex between men still represents the greatest risk factor for the transmission of infections which could be passed on
PUMP IT: Students have spoken out against the gay blood donation ban
FLICKR: BWJONES
Josh King
through donated blood.” “As a group, gay men have a far higher chance of carrying HIV than the heterosexual population.” But a number of charities and lobby groups such as Stonewall, the National AIDS Trust and UNISON LGBT, along with a growing number of scientific and medical experts, have also expressed their concern about the ban. Over the past five years, hundreds of LGBT students have joined the campaign, and thousands of people have signed their petition. The National Union of Students have said that the policy is "stigmatising" for gay and bisexual men, and that it perpetuates the myth that HIV/AIDS is a 'gay disease’. Edinburgh University Students' Association’s LGBT Action Group Convener Kate Harris told The Student that the EUSA Welfare Committee is in full support of the nationwide campaign, and that she personally believes the categorisation to be "overly simplistic". She said that the ban "doesn’t take into account that heterosexual couples have anal sex" and as a result is "discriminatory without good reason". Her sentiments were echoed by EUSA President Thomas Graham who confirmed that he personally supported the campaign: “There should be a fairer approach to deciding whether someone is in a high risk category or not. “As far as I am concerned the ban should be lifted and I fully support the NUS LGBT campaign on the issue.” news@studentnewspaper.org
Future plans include adopting a tougher stance on drinks promotions, potentially going so far as to ban them altogether from the 45 member venues. Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill said: “The licencees involved are all
showing a very responsible attitude to some of the issues facing the trade and doing their best to make clubs safer and more appealing to everyone. I hope this successful initiative can be taken up in other areas of Scotland." news@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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News 5
Macwhirter fighting for free education UNIVERSITY OF Edinburgh Rector Iain Macwhirter has slammed what he believes to be attempts “to restore tuition fees by the back door.” There has been growing concern amongst Scottish students and parents that a rise in fees is inevitable after it was announced that a major review is pending in England, with a real possibility that fees could rise by several thousand pounds a year. His comments follow Friday’s meeting of Scottish university rectors and Sir Andrew Cubie’s recommendations to the Scottish Parliament and the National Union of Students regarding reintroducing tuition fees. Cubie, who recommended the abolition of up-front tuition fees in Scotland in 2000, submitted a report to Holyrood last week proposing a graduate fee rather than a return to up-front fees. Macwhirter singled out Cubie as one of a group of 'isolated individuals' who have been 'quietly allowing this [concern] to happen.' Speaking to The Student, he said that rectors from the leading Scottish universities remained unanimous in their support of free higher education. “There is no funding shortfall,” he said, “it’s time to draw a line under this.”
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FREEDOM FIGHTER: Iain Macwhirter has continued his determined defense of free higher education
JULIA SANCHEZ
Joshua King
He went on to suggest that individuals such as Cubie, as well as the Principals of several universities in Scotland, were pushing their own agendas in the fees debate, though the motivations behind this remained ‘unclear’. He said he did not believe in charging students while they were studying, but said the time was right to consider asking graduates to contribute to the cost of their degrees. But a Scottish government spokeswoman made it clear that "We have no plans to re-introduce graduate contributions or tuition fees. "We have made clear that access to university should be based on the ability to learn not the ability to pay and by abolishing the graduate endowment fee we have restored the principle of free education in Scotland, benefiting up to 50,000 students and graduates.” Murdo Fraser, Tory education spokesman, said: "No political party in Scotland supports the introduction of top-up tuition fees here. "However, if we are not to have top-up fees, then some other source of funding has to be found, and it is probably unrealistic to expect all the additional cash to come from the taxpayer." In the coming days Macwhirter, along with the rectors of the Universities of St. Andrews, Dundee, Glasgow and Aberdeen, will write to vice-chancellors across the country in an attempt to quell the rising concern over the reintroduction of tuition fees.
CHRIS KAY
Edinburgh Rector claims 'there's no funding shortfall'
Aberdeen Uni accused of racism Teviot to be transformed Guy Rughani A MEDICAL student at the University of Aberdeen has accused the institution of racial discrimination. The student claims that members of staff make racial remarks about Indians and that Indian students are purposely given wrong advice to hinder their academic progression. Miss Marline John, a Bangalorian international student studying for a post-graduate degree in medical molecular genetics, originally submitted an appeal to the University of Aberdeen on 1st June accusing some of her lecturers of racism. “They [Indian students] are deliberately given the lowest marks in the class, depending on how the rest of the Caucasians and the programme supervisors’ favourite students in the class perform academically,” said John. “If a Caucasian student does badly, he/she is given an Indian student’s marks.” This accusation was ignored by the university and John resubmitted an appeal on 14th July. In this submission she focussed on Aberdeen’s ‘talent visa’ programme. The university advertises the ‘Fresh Talent’ scheme in India, and many other countries, offering students who pass a postgraduate degree in Aberdeen monetary assistance in staying and working in the UK. In Miss John’s appeal however, she
alleges that once an international student pays all the tuition fees, the university fails the student following their first year of study, thereby rendering the student ineligible for the ‘talent visa.’ When The Student asked the University of Aberdeen how many ‘talent visas’ were promised and then successfully awarded, a spokesperson said that “we don’t have information on how many students apply for this visa” and that “the Fresh Talent scheme ended last year.” On August 22nd, Miss John took her case to the Consulate General of India in Edinburgh and the Indian Association of North East Scotland (IANES). Vamsi Pelluri, IANES secretary told The Student: “The university has taken
“
Indian students are deliberately given the lowest marks in the class" Marline John, Post-grad student
an unusually long time to deal with Miss John’s case. The developments only happened after I wrote to the External Affairs director.” Miss John commented: “Many Indian students currently studying here are also affected but they are afraid to protest, as they fear vengeful action
from the university. "Many have returned home without being able to complete the degree they enrolled for and have lost their life savings spent on their education here due to this university's equality and racist hidden practices." Since Miss John made her allegations, a number of other students at Aberdeen have come forward with complaints against the university. Aberdeen’s spokesperson confirmed that they had indeed received a complaint of racial discrimination, and Vamsi Pelluri said that his organisation had at least a couple of students “on record” who have made charges of a racial nature. The University of Aberdeen, in response to Miss John’s allegations told The Student: “We are committed to the equal treatment of all persons regardless of their race, ethnic or national origin or colour.” Some have questioned the validity of Miss John’s complaints, as she submitted her allegations after failing her degree at Aberdeen. “Scotland is the friendliest place in the world and so are universities here,” said the IANES secretary. “All I want from Universities are good working systems where a student like Miss John will be protected and supported with a university that is committed towards their complaints or concerns.” news@studentnewspaper.org
Charlie King TEVIOT ROW House is set to be transformed under a £2 million development project led by Edinburgh University Students’ Association. EUSA launched the Teviot 120 project last week, celebrating the 120th birthday of the UK’s oldest purposebuilt student union building with the announcement of the wide-reaching redevelopment. Plans include a much-needed transformation of the Sports Bar and the Underground into ‘a first-class nightclub and social space’ and a complete refurbishment of the pool room. The reception area will also be restructured, while a new stair case will link the Middle Bar with the Mezz, which is itself to be extended and refurbished. The debating hall will also be revamped, with EUSA hoping to make it “the heart of the Union again.” James Wallace, EUSA’s Vice-President Services, told The Student: “This is the largest redevelopment project that has been undertaken in Teviot’s history. The aim is to transform the world’s oldest student union building back to its former glory. “Teviot has many striking features and the task is to take the building into the 21st century while enhancing the historic features of the building.” He added: “We will continually ask for student input in the process and
invite comments on the plans.” EUSA is hoping to commit £500,000 of its own funds for the project, with the rest to be secured from the University itself, and fundraising from the Development Alumni. news@studentnewspaper.org
FEES SURVEY The Student wants to know what you think of the fees debate in Scotland. Should university be free for all? Will Scottish universities be damaged by the funding gap with English institutions? Are you paying too much? Fill in our survey at : http://tinyurl.com/ studentfeessurvey
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Comment
Comment
Cyber heaven
Joe Downing asks what happens (to your Facebook) after death hile the Wi-Fi capabilities of W heaven remain to be seen, ever wondered what happens to your cyber
identity when you’re gone? Ever mused over what we do as mortals when we know there’s a Facebook whose owner has left us? Network on behalf of the deceased, perhaps? Tag photos of them with Jesus and Elvis, or just tend to your inherited Farmville crops? For the less ingenious you can now commit profiles to the Facebook cemetery. You tell Facebook the bad news and they will ‘memorialise’ the page of the departed. They try their best to put an end to those black moments which are bound to occur when the dead are on a website designed for the living. One can appreciate how “reconnect with Daniel” appearing to the right of your news feed is potentially difficult if Daniel was hit by a bus. The new memorial profiles block the page to all except friends and family, and change the way the page automatically networks. Presumably the
idea was implemented after Facebook became inundated with complaints from frustrated users receiving automatic friend suggestions for people with unimaginative status updates and
“
Ever mused over what we do when we know there’s a Facebook whose owner has left us? Network on behalf of the deceased perhaps? Tag photos of them with Jesus and Elvis, or just tend to your inherited Farmville crops?" less than rewarding conversation. Don’t get excited, by the way; you
can’t pretend to do away with your Facebook self if you were thinking of adding some authenticity to the belated Halloween zombie costume. In fact the over-zealous Facebook coordinators have made it impossible to virtually kill anyone, unless you have proof of death. Photo ID, dead Scots card is fine. So what does this all mean seriously? Just think, in the same way the elderly generation look dolefully through the obituaries in the paper and begin to tick off old acquaintances, our generation will be trawling an enormous cybergraveyard, nosing to see who out of your old English tutorial doesn’t have an urn as their display pic. A philosophical blogger said “I guess you could liken it to putting a notice in the town crier.” A bit, yes. Except you don’t get the same paper out every week and biro on the bottom ‘I miss you xxxxxx,’ then circulate it amongst friends. Surely you should be less preoccupied with updating your unimaginative elegies and benefiting more from being the one
that’s still alive? Facebook director of security Max Kelly remarked last week that “when someone leaves us, they don’t leave our memories or our social network.” Really? The thing is, Max, I would expect a dead person to leave our social network. If we compare Facebook to normal networking, with our real faces, this ‘memorialising’ is like stuffing your lost companion, and putting them in the wardrobe. Occasionally dusting them down, having some friends round and chatting about their life. I don’t have Facebook. I know I’m archaic. I believe someone applied the term ‘antediluvian’ which actually implies that my means of communication pre-date Noah. But when I die the people who hear will be the people that care. Aren’t memories sufficient to re-
member old friends and family without profile taxidermy?
Time for a status update?
Click twice for love
Mairi Gordon explores the 29 dimensions of love and comes up short
I
t’s hard to resist articles that promise to reveal the secret...the big one...the online pop-up answer you’ve been waiting for. And none of these headlines are more alluring than those promising romantic bliss. Do you want to find out how to avoid the lemons, pick your soulmate with scientific precision, get hitched while remaining sexy, pie-eyed and happy? If so, click here. So of course you do, or at least I always do. It’s not just those dubious sparkly windows that appear in the corner of your screen whenever you download something you know you really shouldn’t. Everyone wants a piece of the science of love. And why shouldn’t they? Dating sites, self help books, counselling, advice columns, tarot readings, r o mantic
mini-breaks, his and her fragrances, hot-tub installations—dealing in love is a lucrative business. Yet most who are in the business shy away from purely profit driven motives--this is love after all-- and raise their matchmaking, marriage saving expertise to a higher plane. They provide a public service like the NHS or the posties, collectively responsible for the making and breaking of the nation’s sweethearts. Increasingly love has been elevated higher still, to a matter of science. Researchers from Bath University revealed
the latest discovery in the quest for everlasting and unequivocal love last week; men looking for marital bliss should find themselves a woman who is at least five year younger and just a bit smarter than them. That leaves the women searching for an older, slower guy. According to this
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They provide a public service like the NHS or the posties, collectively responsible for the making and breaking of the nation’s sweethearts" study, 28-year-old Beyonce is in luck, having picked the 39-year-old, slightly less educated Jay-Z as her husband. The Bath researchers are not alone. E-harmony for example promises to match potential love birds on '29 dimensions of compatibility,’ putting potential partners through question after question on height, income, educational background and qualifications, timemanagement skills and of course your thoughts on the simple matters
of life, death, babies, marriage and the existence of God. The information bar helpfully reminds you that there are ‘no right and wrong answers’ but you can’t help feeling that you’re about to be asked for your previous salary, the number of sick days you’ve taken in a year the and the three qualities that best qualify you for this relationship. The prospect of becoming the youthful brains behind my significantly older, increasingly doddery partner doesn’t make me swoon, but it’s not the specific results that put me off the scientific search for true love. It’s the suggestion that somewhere couched among the mysterious twenty-nine dimensions of love there is the right answer. The winning number. A magical combination of postdoctoral degrees, childhood pets, religious beliefs and predicted incomes, and click, happiness is yours. And we do: click, buy and beg in our millions, anxiously awaiting the mystery formula that an elite team of agony aunts, psychiatrists and neuroscientists are undoubtedly working by listening to Marvin Gaye and typing in every combination of name, age and star signs into Google’s multitude of love calculators. There may be some wisdom in the plethora of facts, figures and patronising tid-bits that besiege anxious lovers and hopeful singles every week. Chances are that few love gurus will tell you something you couldn’t already figure out for yourself: much of their advice, like this week’s latest, will just depress you and none of it is worth paying for.
So in their place let me offer a modern romantic heroine—Miyuki Hatoyama, the Japanese First Lady. Michelle Obama and Sarah Brown may cheerfully fill in the blanks of their husband’s patchwork policies, but Miyuki Hatoyama has been to Venus in a triangular UFO. It’s very green and pretty apparently. The former dancer in Japan’s cult all-female troupe, Takarazuka, met Japan’s Prime Minister while working at a Japanese restaurant in the U.S. When asked how her husband reacted to her alien excursion she remarked that her first husband would have dismissed her but her "current husband has a different way of thinking. He would surely say, ‘Oh, that’s great.’ " She has gone on to become a spiritual guru who advises eating the sun every morning, the author of a Hawaian macrobiotic cookbook entitled Miyuki Hatoyama’s Spiritual Food, and now plans to star in an Oscar-winning film. For his part, Prime Minister Hatoyama seems entirely unruffled, saying, "she is like an energy re-fuelling base.’" The Hatoyamas exist well outside the 29 dimensions of love; they operate on a dimension of their own. Yet for me they’re an affirmation that love is never a matter of numbers alone. Our obsession with the science of love is unlikely to fade, but equally unlikely to ever hit upon that magic number, the combination to unlock a lifetime of relationship bliss. Dimensions or not, at its best and worst love is nothing more than a bizarre sun-munching gamble.
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�������� Tuesday ��������� November �� 3 ���� 2009 ��������������������� studentnewspaper.org�
Comment 7 �
Genevieve Ryan
Talking About a Revo-loo-tion
Firing blanks
William Dobbs warns that arming the police won't make our streets any safer
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t was announced last week that a team of armed police officers will start to routinely patrol certain areas of London where armed gangs operate. Over the past decade gun crime figures have doubled and these specialist officers will be carrying pistols and sub-machine guns in an attempt to make the worst hit communities feel safer. There has been a significant amount of opposition to these plans, not least because the decision to put armed officers on the street was not taken by either the Mayor of London or Sir Paul Stephenson, the Metropolitan Police Commissioner. Instead it was taken at Assistant Commissioner level. The introduction of armed police officers regularly walking the streets, albeit in gun crime 'hot-spots', would signal a radical change in the way that our country is policed. Just as the banning of handguns after the Dunblane massacre was a knee-jerk reaction, the introduction of more armed police seems so too. Not only would it alienate the lawabiding citizens by making policemen and women unapproachable, it would also lead to more teams of armed officers being deployed all over the country, not just in London. Once you open that can of worms, previously unarmed criminals such as drug dealers and
members of violent gangs, will start trying to arm themselves to make sure they stay ahead of the game. Why should the general public trust the police with guns? Since 2000 the police have been involved in more and more armed operations to counter-terrorism and gun crime, and in the relatively few cases where they have been deployed, they haven’t exactly filled people with confidence.
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It seems like it is the police themselves who need to be policed" Look at their track record: in 2006 guns were stolen from an unarmed police vehicle (and this is not an isolated incident), in 2005 police shot dead an innocent man in a tube station after mistakenly identifying him as a terrorist and in 2007 a lawyer who had been firing his shotgun was shot dead. In the latter case, I have little sympathy with the family of the lawyer who argue his death was illegal; when you go around haphazardly shooting your gun at neighbours and police you are asking for trouble. In the highly publicised
case of Jean Charles de Menezes, the authorities had got their ‘intelligence’ seriously wrong, ending in a travesty. When mistakes like this occur, and when the police leave guns lying about so recklessly, it seems ridiculous to suggest that we entrust them with even more guns. In September, two police officers who worked as firearms licensing officers were put on trial for apparently selling guns on to criminals. How does the system allow for renegade officers to do this? And it is not just the police, the military are also in the habit of losing track of their guns. There have been cases where weapons have been sold on by soldiers looking for a bit of extra cash. From the limited evidence available it seems like it is the police themselves who need to be policed, and that the introduction of more armed officers is a step that has been taken far too soon and without due consideration. There are far too many snags in the system at the moment. It is clear that the guns that are already in this country are poorly regulated and monitored, and it might help the police to tighten up the existing system before they start implementing new SWAT teams on our streets. Where these teams do already exist at
Parliament, embassies and airports, they stand in your face waving Heckler & Koch MP5 submachine guns which are capable of firing up to 800 rounds per minute. What on earth are they going to do with them anyway? More civilians would be killed in the crossfire than any target, and suicide bombers aren’t exactly scared of them. In 2003, the government introduced a mandatory five-year sentence for adults caught in possession of a gun and three years for juveniles in a bid to stem the growing problem. However this mandatory sentence is not applicable if there are exceptional circumstances, and these aforementioned circumstances seem to arise in about three-quarters of all cases. When people who go around brandishing a fake gun or even when those caught with real guns are not severely punished, what kind of message does this send out to criminals? The threat of an ASBO or a shortened jail term isn’t going to scare off these gangsters. Instead of arming more police officers, time and money should be spent on cracking down on the gun trade. Arming police officers without first addressing the flaw in our police and justice system will lead to more gun crime, not less.
Lots of people have been talking this week about the installation of gender-neutral toilets in Teviot in the very near future. News of the impending changes appeared on the front page of The Student last week, and a slight panic seemed to set in. One particularly concerned but understandably anonymous source worried: what would happen to girly bathroom banter? A terrifying thought though that may be, there are, of course, wider issues to be considered. Don’t get me wrong; my immediate thought upon hearing about gender-neutral toilets was the terrifying prospect of having to hold my breath, shield my eyes and don my wellies in order to limit my ammonia intake every time I dared use the facilities. Worse still, imagine the scene at The Big Cheese when the rugby boys are in! Some sick initiation ceremony involving the freshers being challenged to piss in one another’s direction while someone attempts to catch it in a plastic pint glass is definitely not something I want to witness while reapplying my lip gloss. These concerns are, however, completely ridiculous once we analyse the facts. Firstly, out of all of the toilets across every EUSA venue, only one toilet is being affected by the change. Just one. Not even one set of toilets containing several cubicles. Just one toilet. Secondly, this toilet is buried so deeply into the recesses of the building that if we took a swab we’d probably find some of Gordon Brown’s pubic hair stuck to the underside of the seat - a disturbing legacy from his early days as Rector of the university in the mid-1970s. In fact, Gordon’s probably the only person alive who even knows where that toilet is. I reckon that only about one in ten people reading this article will even be able to tell me where Teviot’s Dining Room is. Incidentally, it is outside this room that the chosen loo is located. Thirdly, and most importantly, the only change actually being made is the replacing of a sign that currently reads ‘Gents’ with a sign that reads ‘Toilet’. It’ll probably cost less than a VK Apple in the Library Bar, will go unnoticed by the vast majority of students, and yet will hugely improve an awkward situation for those students who do not identify within the gender binary. Students who visit The Pleasance regularly and, like me, are too lazy to walk up the stairs, use a gender-neutral toilet every time they use the disabled access toilet by the bar downstairs. There is also a gender-neutral toilet upstairs by the Pleasance Theatre that has remained unnoticed and inoffensive for quite some time. Other universities have gone much further than we have in the provision of gender-neutral toilets, and there is still much to be done at Edinburgh to keep up this trend. So what’s the big deal? Except that the changes don’t go far enough, of course. Stevie Wise
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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8 Editorial
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e were disappointed with the W way in which the plans to make one toilet in Teviot Row House gen-
der-neutral were reported. It is puzzling that you chose to call Vice President Services James Wallace a ‘EUSA spokesperson’. Puzzling unless you were trying to imply that this change is going to be brought about mysteriously rather than, as it will be, by concerned students using democratic methods, through Welfare Committee and the Committee of Management. Interestingly enough, as the SRC member quoted, we don’t want to see ‘the end of gender-specific communal toilets’ either – we recognise that some
students prefer to use gender-specific toilets. What is currently happening is a change to one out-of-the-way toilet with only a few cubicles and no urinals. It also makes sense in that the women’s toilet next door sometimes has queues when this toilet has none. Making this toilet gender-neutral is a pragmatic solution – it is likely to reduce queueing as well as providing a toilet on the central area campus for people to go who identify as transgender or genderqueer. In terms of the possibility of gender neutral toilets becoming more commonplace across university, we would like to state emphatically that EUSA will consider each toilet individually and its suitability for such plans. There are certainly no plans to introduce gen-
der neutral toilets on a large scale as we recognise that this could raise separate issues for some students. Finally, we would appreciate the opportunity to state that the gents’ toilet next to Teviot Dining Room is not about to become a ‘unisex’ toilet, but a gender neutral toilet. This is an important distinction as it means that it is not only for men or women, but for anyone who wants to use it, including those who identify as neither of these genders, intersex people and those whose biological sex is different from their gender identity. Kate Harris, LGBT Action Group Convener and BLOGS Campaigns Officer Gabi Jones, Welfare Convener
studentnewspaper.org Tuesday November 3 2009
FEATURESINTERVIEWSREVIEWS » ARTMUSICFILM » LIFESTYLE » TECHTV
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IN THE STUDENT THIS WEEK
I LOVES YOU PORGY CULTURE P P13
PLAYING AT WAR TECH P21
CHRISTMAS IN BOB'S HEART
MUSIC P18
All that glitters is fool's gold
Have you got a heap of unwanted gold jewellery lying dormant in a forgotten vault? Líam Bíesty dips a toe in recession-era economics and ponders whether the new crop of cash-for-gold companies are truly 18-karat
YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY: The Student's impresive chocolate coin collection, saved up since Christmas 1887 o, my 10 o'clock lecture’s out of the S way, it’s time for a cup of tea and a bit of daytime telly. The ads set in,
and following Foxy Bingo, I’m faced with the exciting prospect of making an absolute bloody fortune selling my gold. Could this be the answer to all my student debt? Well, unless I stumble across a pot brimming with the stuff, almost definitely not. But for those lucky enough to possess this valuable asset in the form of a pair of broken earrings, an ill-advised medallion or even a wedding ring from a sham marriage, is it time to pick up the phone and make that sale? Despite the rampant professionalism of the suit-wearing gold merchants encouraging you to part with your gold in these advertisements, I’m probably right in thinking it isn’t a good idea to sell your precious metal in the Jeremy Kyle ad break. Back in the day, claiming compensation for tripping over your own foot earned you a fast buck, but all this sudden interest in gold has got me thinking. My fascination doesn’t stop there. Search around a bit and you’ll realise it isn’t just companies trying to scam you out of gold via the telly box, but actually a renewed hunger for the shiny stuff in a more general market all around the world. Just ask Bernie, who lives in a
caravan park near Sutter's Mill, California, the site of the original gold rush of 1849. He’s seeing more and more people flocking to the river beside his home in a modern-day prospecting spree. Since the recession, it seems people can’t get enough of good old-
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It isn't a good idea to sell your precious metal in the Jeremy Kyle ad break" fashioned, weighty, hold-it-in-yourhand-and-lick-it-if-you-want-to gold. There is even an organised weekend gold-hunting trip hopeful visitors can book in for. Next thing, I read the world’s most famous department store, Harrods, has announced it’s going to start selling Swiss gold bars. Yes that’s right, if you’re lucky enough to have the spare change (nearly £300,000 of it, mind), you can stroll in and buy a bar of gold, and maybe one of those really tasty cupcakes on the way out. What's more, to really drive home how financially desirable it is now to own big chunks of precious metal, there's an accompanying image of a Thai gold seller counting a vast quantity of banknotes in his
hands, all thanks to apparently record selling rates. So, yes, something is going on. In the hopes of getting some answers, I enter the daunting territory of economic theory. While my English Language degree provides me with an ever-increasing knowledge of the inflection system of Old English – something easily applicable to any future career – one thing it does not arm me with is the complex knowledge of just how the economy works. But here goes. There’s baffling jargon, for instance, we're possibly entering a "bull market" following recession and "fiat currency" is apparently a bad thing, if I’m led to believe what Alan Greenspan says in his newsletter, The Objectivist, from way back in 1966: “In the absence of the gold standard, there is no way to protect savings from confiscation through inflation.” This last point seems to make sense: gold’s appeal, due to inflation, is all the more relevant in today's economic climate. With financial experts and government officials alike bemoaning looming inflation, it’s not surprising people are looking for investments free from government tweaking. Further, stability of gold, in times of a weakened global currency, means people are turning to the shiny stuff with its increased, reliable index value in mind. A win for gold investment then? Well, it
certainly seems that people find the weight of gold to be worth a lot more than numbers on an ATM screen. Though to be frank, I can’t help but think this is all a little too dramatic. One thing that does make gold an attractive investment is its
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Cash-for-gold vulture companies are said to pay less than 20% of the item's true value" primeval quality - something I’d very much like to experience if I had the money to go to Harrods. The very fact that gold is a physical investment you can hold, admire and even polish, must surely have some influence on its popularity in times of uncertainty. So we’ve established that gold is not just for precious jewellery, but an altogether more stable form of investment. No wonder so many of these "cash-for-gold"characters have risen at once, all with the desire to latch on to an attractive market by melting down the
sentimental treasures they buy for less than market value, in order to produce fresh bars for investment. Such gold bars will fetch far more than the price paid for that unwanted jewellery. Clever stuff? Not really; they’re just ripping people off. The idea of gold being a shiny investment, as opposed to a shiny gift, is something I can’t help but question. Doesn’t this take away the real symbolic value of gold, replacing it with a harsh, price-based mercenary one? I think holding onto your bling is the way forward. Even if the wedding was a sham, surely you have some sentiment left not to cash in on the ring? Especially since such cash-for-gold vulture companies are said to pay less than 20 per cent of the item’s true value. However, if you’re still not swayed from selling up, why not join the latest craze of the bring-andsell gold party? Get a bottle of wine and some mates to bring along their valuable gold. Then all that’s left is to invite a valuer to join in the fun. They’ll love nothing more than conning you in the comfort of your own home while getting sloshed. What better way to spend a Saturday night? So there you have it: a brief consideration of the gold market. As fun as it was dabbling in economics and the pitfalls of old-style gold bartering, I think it’s lecture time again for me.
studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday November 3 2009 features@studentnewspaper.org
10 Features
Enchanted by the holy
Juliet Evans talks to travel writer William Dalrymple about the mystic religions of South Asia A
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It was complete chaos. One week before only four of the forty performers had got their visas. Some, having been detained at the airport, only arrived at the theatre thirty minutes before curtain-up!" His new work, Nine Lives, is a contemporary study of nine individuals living on the extremes of religious ecstasy. His writing defies being pigeon-holed into one narrow genre and instead integrates themes of history, narrative travel-writing, and anthropology. In addition to writing, Dalrymple is a world-renowned expert on Indian history, reflected in the breadth of his work as a broadcaster and foreign correspondent. Dalrymple began his exciting career even before he left university, casting him as grand inspiration to all potential student adventurers. Fittingly, I meet him at an airport shortly after touching down at Glasgow en route to a promotional book tour. Youthful and exuberant, his passion for his subject and eccentric sense of humour are instantly engaging, both in the flesh and on the page. The tour takes him away from his artist wife, Olivia, and his three children who live on a farm near Delhi. Dalrymple is embarking on a year-long international book-launch tour, which kicked off at a Barbican concert with traditional performances from South Asia. Among them were Theyyam dancers from the Indian state of Kerala, a group of itinerant mystic minstrels from Bengal, and Susheela Raman, who read Thevaram hymns from Tamil Nadu. Each performed for a packed audience and the evening won rave reviews. However, in terms of organisation it was, in Dalrymple’s words, "complete chaos. One week before and only four of the forty had got their visas. Some, having been held at the airport, only arrived at the theatre thirty minutes before curtain-up!" In true eccentric Dalrymple style, as a book launch it must have been one of
the most elaborate and original ever devised. Born and brought up near Edinburgh on the Firth of Forth, Dalrymple attended Ampleforth College in Yorkshire – the countryside of which he feels is as stunning as parts of India. Now residing in Delhi and London, he considers himself very much an ex-pat Scot: "I remember when we used to put on a shirt and tie to visit Edinburgh, much has changed since then!" He admits to having had a rather sheltered but happy childhood, after which he went on to read History at Trinity College, Cambridge, where he experienced his first culture shock: "I hit full frontal the ambtion of Thatcher’s '80s. I had never met such pushy, competitive people. It was like getting an electric shock." Yet, in hindsight, he insists, "It’s what made me." After winning a travel scholarship from Trinity’s lucrative History fund, Dalrymple planned and carried-out his first expedition. In Xanadu is about his experiences en route. However he says of his new book, Nine Lives: "In many ways this is an inversion. I tried to remove the narrator as much as possible. The point of the book is the stories - they are the book." The shift, he says, is indicative of the way in which the nature of travel writing has changed over the years. In 1990 when he started out, he explains, "travel writing was going through a real boom – that’s where the action was. Today the market is much tougher. You need some sort of stylistic reason to expect people to read you." In the twenty years since Dalrymple’s first visit to India, a lot has changed. He comments: "The incredible rate of transformation is largely due to globalisation." India’s economy is set to overtake that of America by 2050. The book states it
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I hit full frontal the ambition of Thatcher's 80s. I had never met such pushy people. It was like getting an electric shock." is "in search of the sacred in modern India," implying both the scarcity of such religious extremists and the assumption of a changed country - seemingly the two phenomena are integrally linked. Indeed, Dalrymple explores in depth how the people who continue to practice ancient religious traditions have been affected by such rapid modernisation and the threats it entails. He explains: "I search for a place within rural suburban India, strung between modernity and tradition. Between the call centres and office blocks of fast-developing modern India and the India of the villages lies a huge grey area. Everything is shifting rapidly. In the book I have tried to probe into that half-lit half-land." His fascination with the spirituality of South Asia is a constant theme throughout his works, particularly
GENIVIEVE RYAN
rmed with several hundred pounds from his college history fund, a girlfriend, and an ancient map of Marco Polo’s, the young Scottish historian William Dalrymple set out on his second vacation from university to go on an intrepid adventure. He planned and carried out an epic journey to retrace Marco Polo’s footsteps from the Cross of Calvary (Jerusalem) to the palace of Mongol ruler Kubla Khan at Shangdu (Outer Mongolia) - alias Coleridge’s "Xanadu." The exploration led him to write the bestseller In Xanadu aged just 22. Since its publication in 1989, Dalrymple has gone on to become the author of nine multiple-award winning books on various aspects of South Asia. This time round he is off again and in search of the sacred in Modern India.
in From the Holy Mountain, a study of the demise of Christianity in the Middle East. Although not especially religious himself, he suggests his orthodox Catholic background is responsible for his interest in the subject: "My parents took religion very seriously, my brother and uncle are both priests. However, one thing India teaches you is the astonishing pluralism of faith. There are so many ways of looking at the world and so many things people believe in passionately that it makes it difficult to believe in one particular religious path and to hold coherently to one particular faith." Taking this as inspiration in Nine Lives, he leads the reader into the surreal worlds of nine individual religious extremists, each with their own faith and practice of worship. Despite the struggle between ancient India and commercialisation, Dalrymple examines how such extremist beliefs triumph in their own way. Although almost all of his nine characters are possessionless there is a clear sense of contentment among them. One of the Bauls of Bengal describes the satisfaction he gains from hearing the recitation of an ancient poem:
"It makes us so happy that we don’t remember what sadness is." They have made a conscious choice to follow their path in life and they clearly draw strength from their deities. Yet surrounding each one is an unavoidable sense of human emotion and fragility.
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I search for a place within rural suburban India, strung betwen modernity and tradition. Between the call centres and the villages lies a huge grey area." Each has attached a personal story of pathos, be it the devadasi – temple prostitute – who sends her daughters into sex work, or the ritual fasting to commit suicide by the Jain nun. Dalrymple writes neutrally,
remaining non-judgemental. He chats objectively about the seemingly absurd religious rituals. He observes with an historian’s fascination and relates with a friend’s compassion, reporting with feeling and empathy and sensitively avoiding any patronisation. By getting right up close to people who have encountered human troubles of love, loss, political violence and familial conflict, we see how they are ultimately finding their way through such problems towards what they believe is enlightenment. As a result, readers are left to decide for themselves and at times are forced to question the purpose and meaning of their own potentially materialistic lives. Dalrymple is a fine storyteller and his tales can be enjoyed at face value: beautifully told with colourful and evocative language. Yet there is always an underlying morality to his work, forcing it to resonate with the reader. As a seasoned voyager with an eye for the unusual, Dalrymple’s storytelling is epic. His advice to student travellers is tantamount: "Just go!"
studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday November 3 2009 features@studentnewspaper.org
Features 11
The Magic Roundabout
GRANT THISTLE
Can a traffic island be a community haven? Susan Robinson talks to people taking on the concrete jungle
CLUB TROPICANA: Ever considered having a party on a traffic island? hort of a drunken epiphany, it’s S not often you stop and stand on a traffic island and take stock of things.
But here I am with a local architect, on a traffic island admiring Arthur's Seat. The reason for this is The Causey, a project that has been running since 2007 to transform the island between West Crosscauseway and Buccleuch Street into a community space. Alison Blamire of Arcade Architects tells me what excites her about the project: “It’s such a missed opportunity. The place is completely dominated by cars because of the way they’ve configured this island but there’s no need. It’s not a major traffic route. We’re just trying to bring it to life. I see architecture very much as being about people. Some people think it’s about buildings, but a building is where you live your life. It affects you; it’s your whole environment and that applies to outside spaces as well. This is a move to say ‘cities really need to be vibrant places for people to visit, live and enjoy'." Arcade Architects in association with the West Crosscauseway Association have been running workshops to draw ideas from local people
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It will be a Herculean task to bring together all these ideas." about how a humble piece of concrete might be transformed into an oasis of community spirit. Back in 2007, as part of the Six Cities Design Festival the island was transformed: they stopped the traffic, rolled out a pink carpet, encouraged musicians to play in the area and got the local residents involved in artwork. However, I had to ask artist Shaeron Averbuch, why create a tropical island in the heart of the University of Edinburgh’s district of grey concrete high-rises? “There were three or four ideas right at the beginning, but the tropical island one was really the best because I love colour, trying to do vibrant things in external environments. I used
the scrap from my Flower Garlands project to do stencils in the street as a way of engaging the community.” Blamire balks when I ask what she wants to see on the island - a statue, a fountain...a beach? She corrects me: “Our goal here is to try and interpret the community’s ideas. It’s not about me saying 'I think it should be this'. We’re drawing ideas from the community as our starting point rather than imposing. Obviously someone is going to have to make a decision about what can’t be done - there’s practical feasibility. There’s all sort of practicalities but this workshop is about ideas; we don’t want people bogged down in the minutiae. It’s much more about thinking about city spaces. Part of that is helping other people to see, look with fresh eyes to the future. A glimpse of a new kind of thinking.” Getting a little mired in the minutiae, I ask Blamire if the project has been supported by local businesses. She tells me 56 North are keen, as they will benefit from the increased footfall. In addition she says: “The church is very supportive, they are interested in integrating themselves into the city.” She points up West Crosscauseway: “Businesses up here are on board but they take deliveries along that street, so obviously they have to be accommodated. The next stage is quite challenging; I accept that.” She also admits there was initial resistance from locals: “People were suspicious and felt that maybe that wasn’t the best thing to spend money on, but we managed to raise money that wasn’t going somewhere else. The local people have come round and the last workshop we did with the Southside Association. We have got the community behind it but we have got a long way to go yet.” In competition with the blaring sirens of a passing ambulance I talk to Kirstie Henderson from the charity Living Streets who tells me their agenda is very similar: “It’s about trying to reconnect folk back to where they live. I really enjoy creative engagement because it’s a good means of reaching people that might not otherwise get involved. If they’ve actually been a part
of what’s going on and helped maybe even create some of the things in a space, then they will look after it more
“
It's about reconnecting folk back to where they live. I really enjoy creative engagement because it's a good means of reaching people that might not otherwise get involved." and it will get a bit more respect. I’ve got high hopes.” Jenny Brotchie, a sustainable transport consultant at Vipre also tells me that the project is similar to the
ideas she promotes: “We focus on the soft measures like behaviour change; we help people to understand what their travel options are and change their perceptions.” I ask her to cast her professional eye across the place and tell me what she would do: “It’s interesting because right across the road there’s the Meadows which is pedestrianised, so it’s really close to an off-road link anyway. You could almost have some sort of green corridor, some no-car streets. Edinburgh city centre is such a nightmare to move through; it would just be a bit more permeable to people, much more pleasant.” Local resident David Wood adds, “I walk past here all the time on the way to work. Professionally I’m interested in it because I did an Msc in Urban and Regional Planning and I’m now working for a charity called Planning Aid for Scotland in which we promote community engagement in planning issues.” Wood has a more critical view: “I’m probably quite wary of the idea of it being a public space; it needs to have a use.” Does he have concerns from a planning point of view? “Planning is quite an alien concept for a lot of people, but I think increasingly there is a lot of residence groups whether it’s through green issues or sustainablility or transport. I see something like this as being overwhelmingly positive, especially as so many young people are involved. There are community councils but often students and young people don’t get involved.” Wood confirms that projects such as The Causey are part of a trend of wider awareness about environment issues: “People are doing things off their own backs but it’s still the tip of the iceberg. Let’s be fair about it - people have busy lives and being involved in something like this is hard work.” There is a strong student presence at the workshop. I talk to an enthusiastic group from ECA about why the project is inspiring to young designers: “It’s really different. I think the key thing here is the group aspect of it rather than just one person. It’s getting
everyone together but it’s an individual thing as well. There are six of us here and everyone has drawn something different.” I ask Blamire and Isobel Leckie, the project co-ordinator, about the support they have received from the university: “It’s not part of their estate; it belongs
“
I see architecture as very much being about people." to the city, but this space is very heavily used by students. The Estates department have been very good and we’ve also made contact with Settlement and the Students' Association.” The Informatics department made a time-lapse film of The Causey transformation in 2007 (available on www.thecausey.org). I asked how this came about: “It was just serendipity. The Informatics building was just being built and time-lapse is commonly used on building sites. We approached the department who put me in touch with Bob Fisher who set up a camera in the Appleton Tower.” Leckie continues, “We’ve has a great response from students, mainly from Architecture students but also from Geography students and Design students.” So what comes next? Leckie tells me: “All the ideas and models and films and comments of all the participants in all the workshops have to be distilled into a proposal by an architect, a designer and a planning consultant. Then we have to arrive at a fully costed design proposal for the space. It will be a Herculean task to bring together all these ideas.” I look at ideas from previous workshops: a human chessboard, a miniature model of Edinburgh, a market, a showcase for local art, a digital image linking the local church and mosque, a water feature based on the old horse trough that once stood at the Guse Dub. With no proposed completion date, who knows what will become of this familiar eyesore? You’ll just have to
MASTER PLANS: Design students get creative in order to turn a concrete eyesore into an communal space
Tuesday November 3 2009 culture.thestudent@gmail.com
12 Review
culture
The whole Hogg
Inspired by James Hogg's classic tale of split personality, this week Luke Healey and Hannah Ramsey take a dualist approach to the Royal Lyceum's new adaptation of Confessions of a Justified Sinner
Kamila Kocialkowska awards four stars to the current exhibition at Ingleby Gallery
OLIVIA FLOYER
confessions of a justified sinner
confessions of a justified sinner
until 7 november
until 7 november
royal lyceum
royal lyceum
Roughlythree-quarters of the way through Mark Thomson’s new stage adaptation of the classic Edinburgh novel, there appears a character (a Judge, no less) that seems to have been beamed directly from a Monty Python sketch. Specifically, one of the sketches in which Terry Gilliam puts on a silly wig and comes over all camp and clownish. Zany humour? In Hogg? What are we to make of this? I’ll attempt an apology. Thomson may well be playing hard and fast with his source material, but the fact is that the source material now belongs to Edinburgh. Hogg’s twisted tale of divided personalities, devilish mimicry and religious fanaticism inevitably permeates any serious analysis of the city and its psyche. Moreover, the humour works. By the skin of its teeth, this play manages the fearsome task of holding together dark ruminations on the nature of God and Sin with a lightness of touch that makes it eminently accessible to new audiences. It’s a compelling whole, and one that, crucially, does justice to the sense of narrative instability that makes Hogg’s novel a pioneering masterwork. The devil, however, is truly in the details; it’s in Ryan Fletcher's characterisation of Robert Wringhim as a profoundly small man, in Gil-Martin (Iain Robertson)’s honeyed drawl, in the beautiful, sculptural costumes, and in Rae Hendrie's portrayal of a very real, very unsettling religious desire. Most of all, it’s in the astounding stage set, whose revolving black monoliths multi-task delightfully: a brooding presence throughout, they morph from tombstones to crags to partition walls, before acting to separate discrete time-pockets in a memorable montage sequence, and finally to create the impression of a landscape whooshing past. This ingenious setdressing is the real masterstroke of the production. Ultimately, it's what makes it worthy of Hogg's novel. Thomson’s adaptation succeeds in having it both ways, wallowing in dark atmospherics without ever falling into the trap of taking itself too seriously. It is this perfect balance between dark and light that is, with characteristic self-referentiality, summed up by one of the play’s minor characters, when he chuckles that ‘nothing delights a truly religious person so much as being condemned to eternal damnation’. That’s the Edinburgh way. LH
Scottish history is tattooed upon the very frame of James Hogg’s novel The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner, a recent adaption of which can still be seen on the Royal Lyceum stage this Autumn. The Calvinist theory of predestination provides the darkest ink, with protagonist Robert Wringhim enticed towards a life of sin by velvet-clad devil figure GilMartin, and by the promise that eternal glory is already confirmed for him. Taggart-style scenes bookend this production, frog-marching the narrative right up to the present day. These episodes are, however, only fleeting as - upon the ascension of Robert Wringhim out of the centre stage grave - the audience is plunged into the traditional seventeenth century plot setting. While the refreshing humour of the opening and closing scenes is contained contextually, the same cannot be said for the main body of work. Director Mark Thomson’s decision to ironically voice the peculiarities that we find when reading the novel in the present day jars with the serious nature of the content. Likewise, pantomiming the character of the Judge renders the sincerity of his performance, and the issues that he is voicing, less poignant. A crude ploy to garner a few titters of laughter from the audience on Thomson’s part; it was a cheap move. Despite this, the staging of the play is impressive. A revolving stage creates an illusion of extra space, and contributes neatly to the notion of inevitable repetition that underpins so many of the actions within the original. Its disorientating quality also lends Ryan Fletcher - as Robert Wringhim - a further force to fight against. Employed to symbolise looming gravestones which anticipate proceedings, the scenery is composed of ominous columns that both cast a smattering of shadows across the stage and provide dark pockets of secrets where overhearing and hiding can be achieved. A blurred black and white image of Arthur’s Seat provides the backdrop, locating the unfolding events to Edinburgh. One of the fundamental components of Hogg’s novel is the notion of unreliable narration. Unfortunately the production skirts around this issue, failing to make use of the interval, which seems to be ideally designed to provide a transitional space for a double narration, and hence the depth suffers. While the strong cast worked hard their journey was an uphill one due to, ultimately, an awkward translation from page to stage. HR
Professor Ian Campbell explains the persistent influence of Hogg's masterpiece on literature and literature departments Hogg’s CONFESSIONS (1824) is in the news again but it’s a book which is never far from the attention of Edinburgh University's English department. It has established itself as one of the most popular Scottish novels, taught at every level from first year to PhD. It’s an astonishingly good read, and after decades of neglect it’s pretty well accepted as a masterpiece. What makes it so good is not easy to boil down. It’s a highly inventive story of a man who is gradually possessed – whether by a real supernatural devil, or by his own collapsing personality is hard to tell. Robert Wringhim is an obsessive and fanatical believer in one of the oddball branches of the Church in Scotland who believed they were destined for
Heaven – regardless of what they did on Earth – once they had been “justified” by divine choice, hence the title. In 1824 most readers would have recognised this as the deviant and dangerous theology it is, but footnotes are useful for the modern reader. Robert Wringhim is brought up by his fanatical parents to believe that once chosen he can do no wrong: the mysterious “other” in the book, Gil-Martin, fastens on this and encourages Robert to commit a series of increasingly dreadful acts including murder. Certainly he’s a sinner, and he ends by killing himself – presumably sending him to the Hell he thought himself safe from. It is the innovative telling of the story that is Hogg’s most splendid invention.
It is not just “told”: in a way which anticipates something much more “modern”, it is told and re-told in a series of layers, sub-
“
Whom, if anyone, can you believe? What sort of "editor" is presenting the story? plots and editorial interjections which blurs what "really" happened. Most interestingly, it’s told first by an “omniscient” narrator and then all over again from Robert’s point of view. With GilMartin flitting about in the background, able to appear and disappear at will, the
narrative becomes even trickier. As the book goes on, and Robert’s hold on reality begins to slip, the reader finds it hard to be sure whether the whole thing is a delusion (as some critics would argue) or whether there is, after all, a supernatural being playing games with Robert, tempting him closer and closer to that Hell which Dr Faustus stared into at the end of Marlowe’s play, centuries earlier. Hogg wrote at a time when many people would have believed in a devil, whether a Scottish folk devil (and Hogg certainly knew and wrote about them) or a subtler creature, capable of using and abusing the messages of the Bible. Hogg's contemporary audience would have recognised both the slippery and deceptive
use Gil-Martin makes of scripture, and the absurdity of much of the Wringhims’ ideas on religion. This very uncertainty goes a long way to explain the book’s continued appeal, long after much of the theology in the book has become ancient history. What does actually happen? Whom, if anyone, can you believe? What sort of “editor” is presenting the story? Is there a real Devil or is the whole thing a picture of a collapsing personality slipping into delusion? It’s because these questions are not answered that the book retains the power to fascinate and to alarm, even for readers who have no interest in the Devil or in the theology. There’s definitely Evil in the book, and time has not blunted the impact of that evil one bit.
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Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Review 13 insane in the brain
Star Rating Chuffin' grand
Gradely
Alreet
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run ended
Southern
festival theatre
A grand night out wi't'bird kes
run ended King's Theatre
It was a medieval sanction in the Book of St Albans that gave Barry Hines the title of his acclaimed 1968 masterpiece. Set in the town of Barnsley, Yorkshire, A Kestrel for a Knave reserves the lowliest of falcons for the lowliest of classes; a story now revived in a production of the highest calibre. Billy Casper inhabits a world of hostility and indifference. Bullied by schoolteachers, classmates, and family, his life seems destined for hopeless drudgery. Or so it would seem until he trains Kes, a young kestrel he finds at a local farm. By training her Billy finds release from the misery of his life; she becomes an emblem of passion, freedom and ambition. Kes is outstanding not only as a commentary on the shortcomings of its social setting, but as a timeless tale of the fragility of hope. In a beautifully executed production, director Nikolai Foster manages to capture the essence of an underdog’s story that has made every incarnation of Kes a success. Stefan Butler is at once awkward and indifferent as the play’s protagonist, but he is also capable of demanding the most heart-wrenching sympathy from the audience, maintaining Casper as a strikingly complex character. The juxtaposition
between ordinary oppressive surroundings and the joy and wonder which Billy finds in Kes cause changes in atmosphere that are almost tangible. A brilliantly compelling cast supports Butler through the role. David Crellin as Mr Sugden and Dominic Gately as the youth employment officer are particularly masterful, managing to merge comedy with some of the darkest moments in the play. One of the nicest touches is a counterpart of Casper that dances Billy Elliot-esquely around the stage; it is an extremely elegant way of providing a window to the more hidden emotions of the script. As a whole the production is brimming with talent and skill; at no point does it lose momentum or the locked gaze of its audience. Scene changes feel effortless as Barnsley’s bleak industrial landscape melts seamlessly away to reveal the vibrant countryside. Remarkably, even the fact that the bird is never actually seen does nothing to hinder the perception of her as a symbol of wilderness and grace. The audience practically soars with Kes as it witnesses Billy’s transformation from his awkward outcast self, as subtlety, humour and storytelling combine to create an all-engrossing story. Like its film and novel predecessors, Kes is a slick piece of understated genius, and an absolute joy to watch.
Ciara Stafford
porgy and bess
an argument about sex
run ended
run ended
festival theatre
traverse theatre
Talk about expectations. Rarely have so many superlatives been thrown at the Festival Theatre than in the advent of the Cape Town Opera’s Porgy and Bess. But as the company delivers one of only three Scottish performances of Gershwin’s “people’s opera” to a packed audience, it manages to fulfil every single one. Set in America’s Deep South, the tale of the impoverished inhabitants of Catfish Row is considered to be one the great pieces of folk opera. It is easy to see why: the story of ill-fated love between the crippled Porgy and easy-living Bess supported by a score swaggering with easy confidence makes a mouth-watering mixture. Porgy and Bess can boast amongst its score some of musical theatre's all time greats. "Summertime" and "It Ain’t Necessarily So" are both there for the taking, but the beauty is that the production chooses not to dwell on their obvious selling value and instead allows them to seamlessly melt into the score. Hearing them is like finding an extra Jaffa Cake in your mini-pack - an unexpected joy. There is a wonderful feeling of depth to this production, whether in a set seeming to stretch on into the bowels of the stage, the multi-layered harmonies or the voice of Xolela Sixaba’s Porgy; his single voice is as complex and resonant as the sound of the collective ensemble. A spectacular cast, over 50 strong, adds further to the epic feel. Together they are able to create a wave of perfect sound that is effortlessly capable of reaching every last corner of the theatre. While at times the stage swarmed with the inhabitants of its setting, one of the production’s greatest triumphs was to achieve this without the action ever feeling swamped. One really did feel
An Argument About Sex promised to be a transgressive theatre production that would open up the nature/nurture debate on gender differences that has largely sided with biology. It proved, however, to exaggerate gender stereotypes (a boundary that science does not even dare to cross) and generally produce a laboured monologue about how gender affects behaviour. Writer Pamela Carter set her modernised version of Pierre de Marivaux’s 1744 comedy, La Dispute, in the context of the current economic crisis. The argument that sets the scene, between hedge fund manager Charlie (Stuart Bowman) and his pregnant lover/lawyer, Helen (Selina Boyack), is about whether male testosterone is to blame for the collapse of worldwide economy, with both characters agreeing that men’s innate risk-taking is accountable. To back up this proposition, Charlie reveals his financial part in an unethical sociological experiment where four children (two male and two female) are reared without any contact with larger society. Charlie shows Helen, and the audience, their first meeting, in which a Milton-esque Garden of Eden is played out. To conclude the one-sided portrayal of gendered behaviour, an interview conducted by Carter and director Stewart Laing with socio-biologist Matt Ridley sets the record straight that sometimes there are biological differences between the sexes, but gender behaviours are largely fabricated by society. Applause would not have been amiss when Ridley stated that
transported to the depression-riddled setting when the main events played out against a backdrop of the constant hubbub of everyday life. Surprisingly, even this level of ensemble support could not help the production from occasionally feeling static, a shame when a little tweaking of the stage directions could easily have kept the momentum going. But this is a very small gripe: it is safe to say that Porgy and Bess swept the audience away from the dark recesses of October in Edinburgh and for a couple of hours left them in the sun-drenched streets of the Deep South; there to follow a spectacular story of love and adversity. The living truly is easy in the hands of the Cape Town Opera. This was an outstanding performance that was technically perfect and full of little quirks that resulted in an exceptional degree of realism. And it is always nice to discover that for once, one of the season’s most eagerly expected tours really does live up to the hype. Ciara Stafford
human intelligence has evolved so that “we don’t have to do what our genes tell us to do.” This one-sided exploration of gender behaviour was exacerbated by the lack of charisma between Charlie and Helen. Much of this was to do with Boyack's artificial acting: an automaton is an apt description of her performance. The scenes lacked narrative drive, which led me to spend most of the production daydreaming of a show that I would much rather be viewing. The only redeemable aspect of the show was the innovative use of space. The production was set across the two theatres in the Traverse. This dramatic scene change created a symbolic movement out of our corrupt society into a "state of innocence," represented by Astroturf, laboratory lighting, and plastic chairs set in a circle. The scenes in which the children meet were at times cringe-worthy. The actors unabashedly acted out scenes at times divorced from our idea of social decorum and at other times comic. The jealousy scene was well executed by young actors Elizabeth Chan and Cush Jumbo with their display of realistic emotions. However, the gender stereotyping was exaggerated and laughable, especially when Chan exclaims, “My beauty has upset it!” The conclusion of Carter’s play is that we are all naturally unfaithful and jealous. Both men and women are shown to be reckless when it comes to sex and love, but why the misogynist gender stereotyping? Something is definitely amiss when a video interview with a scientist is the most thoughtprovoking aspect of a production. Sara D'Arcy
As the audience waited in the foyer for Insane in the Brain to begin, a Scottish dance crew demonstrated some impressive break dancing. Unfortunately the “YEAH! Routine!” commentary that went with it somewhat jarred the mainly middle class, middle aged crowd. This was my main concern about a street dance interpretation of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest: it may be an original idea, but it might not be appropriate. The opening confirmed my fears. An exhilarating and frankly frightening opening sequence, which featured masked dancers throwing themselves across the stage, gave way to a therapy session. This must have been intended to set the scene for those who are not familiar with either the book, play or film, but it had the feel of a bad school play with crass lines verging on the offensive, such as, "So you blame your parents for your schizophrenia?" However, the moment the dance company Bounce stopped acting and began to dance, the production improved dramatically. The abstract movements allowed Bounce to avoid cliché and the stylish and innovative approach gave a whole new dimension to a familiar story. As the sexually charged Billy Bibbit, dancer Robert Malmborg attempted a pas de deux with a blow up sex doll to Lionel Ritchie’s "Hello." And when McMurphy takes everyone for a trip to the cinema, the dancers sit amongst the audience while a black and white slapstick-cum-dance-off film is projected onto the stage. You've seen no one break dance until you've seen Edwardians break dance. Some of the most powerful scenes, however, remain the ones which directly address mental illness. Alvaro Aguilera’s portrayal of the obsessive-compulsive Mr Harding culminates in a thrilling scene where he is unable to sleep under flashing lights with three other dancers jumping off their beds. Likewise, a scene dealing with electric shock therapy has three characters bungee jumping down from the ceiling to System of a Down.
“
You've seen no one break dance until you've seen Edwardians break dance However the portrayal of the carers, in particular Letitia Simpson’s Nurse Ratched, felt unsatisfactory. While hip-hop is the perfect medium for expressing power struggles and deep inner torment, it lacks a certain subtlety, especially in regards to her relationship with McMurphy. Bounce also has a slight tendency to sacrifice substance and, to an extent, narrative, for something stylish and unusual. During the party scene an unprovoked and unnecessary megamix of '80s dance movie tunes came on while the cast took off their psychiatric uniforms to reveal leotards and leg warmers. While lycra may be considered "fun," it was followed directly by McMurphy’s death, which seemed underdeveloped in comparison and sudden for anyone who isn’t familiar with the story already. As Bounce specifically wanted to re-tell a well known story, they have done well to interpret it in an original way and cast off the shadow of such an iconic work. However some of the characters and the finer aspects of the story are neglected in favour of the company's considerable "wow" factor. Jenni Smout
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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14 Lifestyle
Style On Campus: Autumn Edition Emma Segal tells us about the best fashion finds on the high street
A
utumn-Winter 2009/2010 saw a huge shift in aesthetic. In the context of the recession, we were told to toughen up; a plethora of blacks, leathers and chunky statement necklaces were seen at all the major labels. One trend, which took its roots in Autumn-Winter 2008/2009, is the over-the-knee or thigh high boot, as made most famous by Halston’s successful comeback. In addition, they have had a chance to filter down into the high street; see New Look and Topshop for particularly good thigh high boots for under £150.
For those of you who fear the statement made by such boots, ankle boots with studs and other methods of embellishment, whilst more subtle, can equally add Autumn-Winter 2009/2010 ‘pizzazz’ to any outfit. Leather, in all its forms, has made a big comeback. If you make one investment this season, a good leather jacket will take you through the next few cycles and always adds a grungy-chic layer to any outfit. The softer the leather, the better. No longer is it confined to coats and boots – tops, skirts and dresses in a variety of colours let you toughen up several outfits – but do think grunge-chic,
like Taylor Momsen (Gossip Girl) as opposed to Marilyn Manson. The perfect partner to leather and thigh high boots? A variety of chunky knits, preferably with holes and bobbles, in a variety of colours and shapes. Topshop has a great cocoon shaped striped number (striped with velvet – another key thing to invest in, even if it is a Lady Gaga style oversized bow). Holes and textures, especially in tights, are also a big feature and an easy way to grunge up otherwise plain outfits. Heritage, in particular jodhpurs, billowing ‘house on the prairie’ shirts, and a variety of furs, is also back in a big way.
Think classic Paul Smith injected with embellished and sequinned Chanel boucle jackets, and you will be close to the particular version of this trend manifested on this season’s catwalks. The best way to wear this look without appearing too ‘country’ is to mix it up with the edgier elements of the other Autumn-Winter trends. Finally, outerwear, an obvious Autumn-Winter staple, also saw a return to camel and block colours, with fur trimming, volume and experimental shapes. High shoulders and interestingly shaped hoods all contribute to the exciting new range available. The high street is brimming with
fine examples of these coats, from Russian-Tsarist fur trimmed and leopard print delights to simple camel double breasted numbers. The overall lesson to learn from this season’s catwalks is to fight back in the face of the recession, and indeed the increasingly dark and depressing weather. Add an edge to your wardrobe; invest in key pieces to accompany the majority of your current wardrobe staples. Take a chance with clashing textures, such as velvet and leather. Girls, take heed - wear with attitude!
Adam Cassels Hannah Clark Theology and Philosophy - 1st Year This outfit was composed of a mixture of charity shop and High Street clothing, showing that students can look great on a budget.
Painting - 1st Year Adam oozes style i n his Abercrombie & Fitch coat and shoes from Dune.
Rachel Rose McWhirter Philipinne Vernes History of Art and Philosophy - 2nd Year The camel jacket from Zara is an excellent addition to a casual outfit.
German - 1st Year Rachel's coat highlights the importance of structure and volume in the Autum/Winter trend.
Helena Boardman Textiles - 1st Year The military-grunge boots from River Island provide the perfect contrast to the bright block-colour coat.
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Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Lifestyle   15
Dance in 2010: The Year of the Crab THE SHAKE 'N' EVAC
DIE KRABBE
figure 2
We have it on extremely dubious authority that the two steps of this rave-
For too long now has club dancing been bound by the shackles of safety,
for 'evacuate the building, there is a bomb'. Two chops down the arm (fig. 1)
laterally and channelled the noblest of all crustaceans.Get your head down,
style masterpiece aren't just visually mindblowing, they're also sign language
figure 1
and two diagonally outward from the temples (fig. 2). Avoid ridicule by moving with intent and mechanical precision - let them know you mean business.
THE SCARECROW
If this were breakdancing, we'd call this one a stall or a freeze. Drop it in
mid-routine or mid-conversation, like a sort of physical punctuation. Point your feet as far inwards as
possible, raise up on your toes, jut
your elbows up above shoulder height, point your forearms to the floor and jam your chin
against your collarbone. Busting the Scarecrow is a particularly effective way to save
face after having sexual advances turned down. Hold
it until you feel you've made your point.
practicality and dignity. It's time we went back to nature, started moving scuttle bow-legged from side to side and with your palms facing up and your fingertips pointing inward, pince like a crab scorned.
THE RDXR
Easy to pick up, almost impossible to master. To begin, stand rooted
to the spot, feet together, with your
elbows pinned to your ribs. Proceed
to flail your hands in all directions, keeping your wrists loose and paying little heed to rhythm. Often ac-
companied by maniacal grins and a
semi-conscious lolling of the head. Improve the RDXR by being the
drunkest person in the room - perfect it by being the drunkest in the
Tuesday November 3 2009 film@studentnewspaper.org
16 Review
FILM
5 Films...
...The Best War Films
Saving Private Ryan (1998) The first half and hour of Saving Private Ryan is a visual assault, acclaimed as one of cinema’s most accurate renditions of warfare. Capt John Miller is n a humanitarian mission to rescue Ryan, the son of a woman whose other three sons had all been killed in the same week. Even Mr Bland, -Tom Hanks-fails to spoil one of the most thrilling WWII films ever made. Enemy at the Gates (2003) Rivalling Saving Private Ryan for its impressive opening scene, Rachel Wiess, Joeseph Fiennes, Ed Harris and Jude Law star in this tale of a 5-day long battle between a Russian and a German sniper during the battle of Stalingrad. Vassili Zaitsev's (Law) 140 kills make him a national hero who seems to be unstoppable until the Germans dispatch Erwin Konig. The film's €60m budget (making it one of the most expensive European films ever made) was money well spent, making for a gritty, realistic and stunning re-telling of one of WWII's most epic battles. Battle of Britain (1969) History students take heed, if you want to find out how the Battle of Britain happened; your best bet is to watch The Battle of Britain. Guy Hamilton’s 1969 recreation of the Luftwaffe’s defeat in 1940 was meticulously faithful to historical accounts of the battle. Almost every SpitfireMesserschmitt skirmish was based on real events, and the plot manages to encompass nearly every part of the RAF’s months-long campaign against raiding German aircraft. For action fans there’s plenty of good old moustache-and-flying-goggles heroism, ideal for keeping a stiff upper lip and reminiscing about when we showed those Gerries what for. Zulu (1964) As much part of Easter and Christmas as spewing up excess quantities of chocolate egg/turkey, there is little to fault the film that made Michael Caine's career. Set in 1870s South Africa, the film tells the incredible story of how 150 Welsh guards defeated 4000 Zulu warriors. Director Cy Endfield manages to honour the bravery of the soldiers without glorifying or justifying imperialism. Das Boot (1981) Das Boot (‘The Boat’) is a grim, desperate tale of a German U-boat’s fight in the deadly seas of WW2. The crew are relentlessly hounded by enemy ships, and have to endure excruciating conditions as they battle for survival underwater. The film’s most striking achievement is in humanising the stories of German sailors. While other period films portray the Germans as faceless goons, here we see them as ordinary men in a horrific situation.
JENNIFER'S BODY DIRECTED BY KARYN KUSAMA pooky house and Megan Fox S in hot pants – yes, it’s another teen horror film. Geeky girl Needy
(Amanda Seyfried) and hot cheerleader Jennifer (Fox) have been best friends since, like, forever. After a strange night at a local bar, however, Jennifer suddenly changes, but noone else besides Neeseems to notice! Although the name of Diablo Cody, the writer of the quirky high-school comedy Juno, makes one expect something clever, Jennifer’s Body seems to fail on almost every level. As a film about high school and the relationships between teenagers Jennifer’s Body doesn’t fall into the usual popularity-game traps. However, everything else about the script, including the sequence of ‘scary’ events, is very predictable. Throughout the film one can sense the desperation to be witty and original. Unfortunately, the irony doesn’t really show through most of the time, making everything seem like a bad cliché. Many silly horror films like the Scary Movie franchise never had a pretension to be excellent, giving in to bad slapstick comedy. Jennifer’s Body, however, is trying to be very self-consciously cool but ends up as a pathetic attempt at copying the kookiness of Juno onto unlikeable characters. Although the characters of the film are supposed to be ironic
AN EDUCATION DIRECTED BY LONE SCHERFIG
B
ased on journalist Lynn Barber’s memoirs, An Education is the story of Jenny (Carey Mulligan), a sixteen year-old school girl whose sole aim in life seems to be getting into Oxford, encouraged by her banal suburban middle-class parents. Until the day she meets the attractive and much older David (Peter Sarsgaard), and quickly gets caught up in his deceptive world of glitz and glamour. Jenny becomes increasingly disillusioned with the idea of university, seeing it as a place that she has to attend rather than wants to attend, especially when the conclusion is inevitably marriage. The film boasts a fantastic cast who appear to thoroughly enjoy themselves throughout. Mulligan confidently proves to be a talented rising star in the lead role; her portrayal of Jenny is quick, sarcastic and as exasperatingly naïve as any bright sixteen year-old. The twenty-two year-old does not look a day over seventeen, but for all her sweetness she does not allow herself to be a victim. Sarsgaard is-as always-a great actor, but his performance is somewhat marred by the predictability of a smarmy character. Rosamund Pike deviates from her slew of sombre characters and finally has a bit of fun as the inexhaustibly dim-witted Helen. Alfred Molina gets the most
WORDS UTTERED IN THIS MOVIE: 'Freaktarded'; 'Lesbi-gay'; 'Back door virgin'; 'Huge tragedy boner' stereotypes, most of their efforts come off as bad acting. Megan Fox’s performance as pouty-lipped Jennifer will only confuse the viewers as to why anyone would even like to be around that girl, demon-possessed or not. The satire on indie bands trying to make it in an overcrowded music market is an interesting side story, but it’s quickly overlooked for the sake of some butchery. Although the goriness is deliberately ridiculous, it still doesn’t appear particularly laughs however, playing Jenny’s boisterous conservative father. Other big names include Emma Thompson as the tough headmistress, Olivia Wilde as the understanding teacher, and the dashing Dominic Cooper as David’s close but distrusting friend. However, the best of the minor characters was Graham (Matthew Beard), the comically awkward schoolboy to Sarsgaard’s suave older man. From uncomfortable silences to embarrassed exits, Beard plays his role to a tee. It is to Danish director Lone Scherfig’s credit that she manages to draw such strong performances from her cast and, handling an absurd composition of characters without losing focus. Scherfig also does a decent job in keeping the mood light and well paced. At times it does seem a bit frivolous, the dramatic revelation doesn’t have much of an impact, and the ending especially feels a bit rushed. However, screenwriter Nick Hornby skilfully navigates a few scenes that could have turned particularly ugly, and manages to keep it heart-warming while bringing the film to a fulfilling conclusion. Although it may be predictable and ambiguous in its message this film is charming and chock-full of great performances. True to the nature of its literary origins, watching this film is like reading an interesting book; the sense of satisfaction is gratifying with the turn of the last page. Shan Bertelli
amusing in the context of the film which becomes too sentimental with strange slow-motion scenes and its handling of the subject matter of friendships. The childhood flashbacks of the two girls playing in the sand pit look strangely enough like crime scene montages from CSI. Furthermore, there’s a completely unnecessary ‘lesbian’ venture which doesn’t add anything substantial to the plot. The film seems to be aiming in too many directions at once, resulting
THIS IS IT DIRECTED BY KENNY ORTEGA t was with a sense of trepidaIPrince tion that I took my seat for the of Pop’s cinematic swan
song, but I am pleased to say that what followed was not the grotesque take-the-money-and-run circus that I had feared. The film comprises of relatively unembellished rehearsal footage, artfully stitched together to create a sequence of heavyweight hits. It gives us a good impression of how the live tour would have looked had Jackson not sadly died before departing to London, where he was scheduled to perform 50 shows at the O2 arena. And all the signs are that it would have been spectacular and ambitious. Jackson conducts an extensive orchestra comprised of musicians, backing singers, dancers, tightrope aerialists, costumed actors, pyrotechnics, smoke and wind machines and even strippers (yep, that’s what I said). All this is set against a giant blue screen showing a plethora of images and videos, including a sequence in which Jackson, dressed as a gangster, is spliced into classic scenes from Hollywood movies. This is certainly no viable substitute for the live shows that never were, but the empty Staples Centre in Los Angeles allows us to focus strictly on the man at work without the distractions of a
in unimpressive mishmash of ideas. With a blasting pop-rock soundtrack and lingering shots of half-naked Megan Fox, Jennifer’s Body will perhaps appeal to some who want her or want to be like her, but for the most of us this is just an hour and a half of pointless posing and quite frankly failing at it. Helen Harjak frenzied crowd. Occasionally, Jackson seems irritable and delicate, and while his singing voice remains strong, his dancing has inevitably declined from the thrilling peaks of the 80s. But you certainly would not know you were watching a 50 year old solely on this evidence and Jackson has lost none of his remarkable stage presence. There are no obvious clues in what we are permitted to see that could have helped to predict his sudden demise. Jackson seems to cope relatively well with what is a hugely demanding programme, taking charge in intense discussions regarding props and lighting and demonstrating how hands-on he was There are some downsides, however. The tiresome entourage of sycophantic yes-men, which includes director Kenny Ortega, and Jackson’s weakness for cheesecoated tosh (as confirmed by the scene, constructed around a little girl wandering through an enchanted forest, that precursors Earth Song) spring to mind, and the film slumps in the middle third. Jackson seems totally oblivious of the rolling cameras, and as such this film captures his persona more authentically than any other footage I have seen. This does not feel like a ruthless exploitation of Jackson’s memory or the renowned devotion of his fans; it feels like a tender-hearted swan song to an extremely gifted individual. Davie Heaton
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
music@studentnewspaper.org
18 Review
Music bob dylan Christmas in the heart sony
ob Dylan’s career has been due a B new direction for a long time: since 1998’s Time out of mind, which was
awesome, he’s been churning out blues album after blues album, each musically more dreary and lyrically duller than the last. But he’s always been able to reinvent himself, and so ardent fans are always able to tell themselves that it’s only a matter of time. This is not - thank God - the avenue Dylan must explore if he’s to become relevant again, if only because nobody could be expected to write more than one Christmas album. Perhaps the best that can be said of Christmas in the heart is that it is, at least, a change. And he sounds like he’s having more fun on this whimsical, straight-faced collection of 50's singalongs than he was earlier this year on the boring Together through life. His voice is completely shot, of course, and any note held for more than a second or two sounds like it might be his last. But he gives it everything he’s got - with sincerity on tracks like ‘The first noel’, and with barmy humour on pretty much everything else. The question is, though, why would Dylan write a Christmas album? Why would anybody, for that matter? Does anybody listen to Christmas albums at Christmas? Surely cheesy carols are
meant to be sung; listening to someone else’s festive cheer seems a bit sad, like spying on families of jolly sherry-sipping strangers as they exhange presents. It’s the jollity that’s forced on you in every high-street shop from late October onwards; why would you willingly invite that monster into your own home? But why would Dylan, of all people, stoop to this? Here are some possible explanations: 1) Dylan is a religious nut. This one doesn’t really work. He is a Christian of sorts - his music was most evangelical in the eighties, with albums like Slow train coming - but this isn’t a religious record, it’s a nostalgic celebration of 50s Americana: the album is unwaveringly, doggedly quaint, down to the ridiculous backing vocals (made with 100% pure glee!), saccharine slide guitar and the inevitable sleigh-bells. This leads to another possibility 2) Dylan has lost his sense of taste and jut can’t make good music anymore. He has grumpily indicated in interviews that he thinks most contemporary music is crap. Has this aversion ossified into a pigheaded decision to celebrate quaint silly styles just because they’re old? Again, this doesn’t really work. Listeners to his radio show know that the music he loves is classic blues and little-heard oddities that nobody else remembers: the battered, beloved souvenirs of his musical education. Ludicrously schmaltzy christmas tunes do not feature. 3) Dylan does not give a fuck what
anyone thinks. This is most likely. Every fan cherishes an image of the real Bob Dylan, and the man himself has always delighted in shattering these idols - from the decision to go electric to the rather more tawdry choice to advertise Victoria’s Secret. In the background of one of the most bizarre of these songs, the maniacal ‘Must be Santa’, there’s a dim sound of laughter. You might presume that it’s the sound of happy 1950's children, but I reckon it’s actually Dylan himself, cackling away as he exhorts his terrified accordian player to evergreater levels of twee. “No-one will be expecting this!” He’s like a naked emperor who knows he's naked, and is daring his embarrassed entourage to say something. And so he ends up giving us this frankly loopy record, which will meet with sadness from anyone who likes the idea of Dylan the trailblazer. He represents more than anyone else the almost violent creativity of the sixties; he is a symbol of the sexual revolution. This record looks back to the time before all that with a camp nostalgia that is unimaginably distant from the burning anger which inspired Dylan’s great work. It’s as though Van Gogh had survived his unhappy youth, only to spend his last years painting idyllic pictures of jolly farmers. Ed Ballard
Cold Cave Love Comes Close Matador
usical side M projects more often than
not give the impression of being exercises in pretentious experimentation, whose results feel unfinished and of little interest to anyone but the artist’s ego. (Something the likes of Jack White and Alex Turner seemingly fail to realise.) Considering that Wesley Eisold, lead vocalist and mastermind behind Cold Cave, is best known for fronting Californian hardcore punk band Some Girls, it is astounding that ‘Love Comes Close’ could have come straight from the ranks of the 80’s electro-pop scene. This album is much closer to New Order or Depeche
Singles tinchy stryder You're not alone
A hard snow
Mode than it is to Black Flag. Continuing these parallels, Eisold’s deep, sombre delivery on tracks such as ‘Heaven was full’ and album highlight ‘Youth and Lust’ is eerily reminiscent of a slightly more up-beat Ian Curtis. The album gets of to a rather inauspicious start with the confusing and distorted track ‘Cebe and Me’. But then the album establishes its electropop credentials, with title track ‘Love Comes Close’, where am infectious beat and catchy hook are contrasted wonderfully by dark introspective lyrics such as ‘Look outside, world is exploding, stay inside, still never knowing. Taking cover, with each other, Sleeping off the century Oh-oh’, which surely gives one of the most romantic and tranquil visions of the apocalypse imaginable. This winning formula of solemn lyrics and vocals coupled with a merry pop beat is stuck to throughout, on tracks such as ‘Life Magazine’ and ‘The Trees Grew Emotions and Died’, which are both on the verge of becoming classic house tunes. However, the album seems
black eyed peas
leona lewis
Meet me halfway
Happy
interscope
to loose its way as a musically darker side comes out towards the middle. Tracks such as ‘Heaven Was Full and ‘Hello Rats’ feel more pedestrian and out of synch with the album as a whole. The LP revives itself at the end with back to back dance anthems ‘Youth and Lust’ and ‘I.C.D.K’ retuning us to electro-pop euphoria. Cold Cave then are one of those rare examples of side projects, offering something coherent and genuinely intriguing, in this, their first full length project. Their achievement is all the more impressive as it sounds like as the production budget for Love Comes Close was something around fifty pence. Far from feeling unfinished though, the stripped-back feel of simple drum beats and a synthesiser apparently borrowed from a children’s nursery, gives a refreshing and uncomplicated sound that definitely makes this album worth a few listens. Buster Stonham
syco
Universal
Tinchy Stryder wants to help. That’s the great thing about Tinchy Stryder - he is only too happy to give you some words of enthusiasm when you’re down in the dumps. Take his new song. Maybe you’re worried you can’t cope with some problem in your life - don’t worry, Tinchy will put you right: “Stay strong, no time to feel weak / don’t wait till the end of time.” Every song needs a message, and that’s a great message in only the first verse. Tinchy also has good advice for when you’re having trouble making an important decision - faith in yourself is the answer: “open your mind and see / trust is there and the writing’s green!” You might wonder why the writing is green specifically, but you shouldn't question Tinchy’s wisdom too much. Inspiring stuff. [Ed Ballard]
A formula as ubiquitous as e=mc², but with a fraction of the originality, the Black Eyed Peas juggernaut steams ahead unchecked. 'I Gotta Feeling', the song that soundtracked a million teenage gang rapes, spent six months atop the US charts, only to be knocked off by Jay Sean - rather like jettisoning a burdensome partner, only to find out they left you their crabs as a souvenir. After two odes to the bassline - 'Feeling' and its predecessor, the disgraceful 'Boom Boom Pow' - comes this spangly, vocoderred little vomit about an absent paramour that will delight anybody yet to hear the words 'do' and 'you' used in a rhyming couplet, but will leave anyone else in no doubt that will.i.am is the least talented man ever to pull on a pair of stripey trousers. Ironically, less desirable than the Bloods, the Crips and the KKK amalgamated into a civilly disobedient whole. [ J. Liew]
I suppose in the absence of any musical value, this single can at least serve as a timely reminder of the sort of thing we can expect the next X Factor winner to be rolling out in 12 months time. This big ballad brings absolutely nothing new to the table. Of course that was never to be expected, but neither does it contain anything remotely interesting, apart from the massive drums in the chorus, that is. They’re bloody huge! But sadly everything around them is generic, schmaltzy and has nothing to recommend over anything else in the charts at the moment. Apart from the drums. Did I mention the drums? They’re good. They get a star all to themselves. [Andy Chadwick]
Don't go anywhere without your iPod? music@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Review 19
ATP FILM TOUR WITH LES SAVY FAV Saturday 24th October ABC 2
ll Tomorrow’s Parties have been A making a rather big deal out of a new film made about their festival to
celebrate its 10th anniversary, and so they should, as ATP, held four times a year at Camber Sands and Butlins holiday camp in Minehead is a unique festival that exists totally outside of the corporate love-ins that most other UK festivals have become. To this day, the festival runs without corporate sponsorship and the booking policy is strictly alternative. Suffice is it to say it’s not the kind of place you’ll find a group of bankers who thought they’d come to a festival for a laugh, which is pretty much an exact description of the type of people who go to V. Tonight’s screening/gig shows a lot of what is great about this event, and the film, essentially a mish mash of performance footage and fan videos of punters having loads of drunk fun from the last ten years, captures the atmosphere, spontaneity and community feel of the festival. The screening is followed imme-
Sneaky Pete's: Making Edinburgh fun. hen this writer first arrived in W Edinburgh, the legendary Venue had recently burnt down, and the two
main spaces for touring bands to play were Cabaret Voltaire and The Liquid Rooms. Both were relatively large, so Edinburgh was often bypassed by the small, but more exciting acts on the touring circuit, or they came to play to a straggle of people in Cabaret Voltaire’s 300-capacity main room. All of this was before Sneaky Pete’s came along; a tiny little place on the
diately by a performance from New York art-rock heroes Les Savy Fav, with frontman Tim Harrington making a typically charismatic entrance. As his band slowly increases in volume, building to a crescendo, Harrington stalks on stage covered in a black cape, throwing it off as the drums kick in to reveal a war-painted face, and howling wildly before launching into the front row for some real performer-audience interaction. Whipping through ‘Patty Lee’ and ‘We’ll Make a Lover of You’, Harrington spends most of the set in the crowd, hugging punters, passing round the mic for mass sing-alongs, sending texts on a girl’s phone and at one point, removing a male audience members shirt to tweak his nipple with the mic. All the while, his band hold it all together back on stage by being exceptionally tight, and providing a thrilling backing to Harrington’s unhinged antics. It’s a short, chaotic set that ends as Harrington goes around the room thanking everyone personally for coming. This is what is great about ATP, and one thing’s for sure, you won’t find anything remotely like it at V.
My Ipod Playlist, by Nick Griffin MEP
Andrew Chadwick
3. 'Happy Hanukaust' by Vaginal Jesus.This is what they call deathcore, a rather innovative new genre. There's some really vibrant subcultures springing up in the white power scene these days.
Cowgate that has brought new life to Edinburgh’s club and live music scene. Previously Red, Sneaky’s was taken over by local DJ and promoter Nick Stewart, and stripped down to it’s bare bones to increase space and allow for a small stage, which since it’s makeover has hosted some of the best, most exciting new acts in the world, as well as a varied range of forward-thinking club nights covering everything from dubstep to indie. Huge buzz band Girls played in October, and the past few months have seen Telepathe, Mumford and Sons, Frightened Rabbit and Monotonix all make a stop. Sneaky Pete’s success is largely based on an interesting, risk-taking booking policy that aims to bring the best new live acts from all backgrounds to Edinburgh, as well as a fair and generous attitude towards independent club promoters who wish to host their night at the venue that enables most promoters to make entry
Recently, my trusty Director of Publicity, Mark Collet, gave me one of these new Ipod things (a white one, of course) and I've been using it to keep up with all these hip extreme-right bands Mark keeps banging on about, becuase, you know, as a politician it's good to try and keep in touch with the nation's indegenous youth. I've also been taking a trip down memory lane with some old favourites... 1. 'Road to Valhalla' by Skrewdriver. Soothing, misty-eyed racism. I like listening to this in the bath. 2. 'Deutschland' by No Remorse. Very easy to sing along to - and I love the chorus! “DEUTSCHLAND! FATHERLAND!”
free even at weekends. The quality of the Sneaky’s programme has been building since it opened, but this month it seems to have bubbled over into what could be described as a mini-festival, such is the frequency of great gigs and clubs over the coming few weeks. Nowhere else in Edinburgh can boast a schedule of such relentless high quality, not to mention affordable entry fees. To help you get your head round it we’ve put together a list of things to look forward to at Sneaky Pete’s this month. Untitled with Antoni Maiovvi (Live) – Friday 6th November, 11pm3am, Entry: Free The Chapman Family – Thursday 12th November, 7pm, Entry: £6 Japandroids + Super Adventure Club + Bronto Skylift, Friday 13th
November, 7pm, Entry: £5 The Drones + Yuill Scott and the Haight + The Red Well, Saturday 14th November, 7pm, Entry: £7 Teenagersintokyo, Sunday 15th November, 7pm, Entry: £5 Cymbals Eat Guitars, Monday 16th November, 7pm, Entry: £7 Wasabi Disco’s 1st Birthday, Saturday 21st November, 11pm-3am, Entry: Free Field Music, Sunday 22nd November, 7pm, Entry: £6.50 Playdate with Drums of Death (Live), Saturday 28th November, 10pm3am, Entry: Free Andrew Chadwick
4. 'Ode to a Dying People' by Saga. The racist man’s Celine Dion. Bloody gorgeous, too. 5. 'White Wedding' by Billy Idol. Great tune, and I love the sentiment. His little sister had obviously been mixing with some undesirables. 6. 'Pretty Fly For a White Guy' by Offspring. This is my feel-good song. We celebrated by dancing round to this when I was elected to the European Parliament. Mark got quite drunk and egged a corner shop, he shouldn't have, I know, but it was just so funny! Good times. 7. 'White Christmas' by Bing Crosby. The good right-wing extremist's Christmas song of choice, naturally. I'm much more ambitious than just hoping for this to apply to Christmas of course, but you've got to start somewhere. 8. Wagner's 'Overture in C Major' I love listening to classical music when I'm writing my histories of Britain, I find it really helps to set the imagination going.
The Thermals rock out at Sneaky Pete's, June 2009
Saga: If she was a Gladiator, her stage name would be 'Supremacist'
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Addicted to the box? Email: tv@studentnewspaper.org
20 Review
TV
The strange death of Family Guy
FRINGE BENEFITS
Paddy Douglas pays his respects to the hugely successful comedy
IT'S WEEK 7, which means you're probably drowning in a sea of essays or formulas and will, therefore, be in need of a break soon. Don't have a Kit Kat. Watch Fringe instead, the latest brainchild from household name producer J.J. Abrams, the man behind Lost and this year's reboot of Star Trek. The series follows the exploits of FBI agents Olivia Dunham, played by Anna Torv, Peter Bishop ( Joshua Jackson, of Dawson’s creek infamy), and his father, mad-scientist-typecharacter Walter, as they investigate a compendium of strange cases including teleportation, precognition and aliens, nicknamed “the Pattern”. The trio uses “fringe” science to solve the cases or, at least, to try and explain their occurrences. However, not unlike Lost, there’s something far more intricate than we think happening here: most “Pattern” events seem to be somehow connected to an imminent war between this universe and a parallel one. The plot thickens as the episodes progress. After watching a few episodes, you couldn't help but rave about them to your friends and wonder "why hasn't there been a show like this one before?!" Except there has: it was called The X-Files. In the first episode of series two of Fringe, we are able to catch a fleeting glimpse of Fox Mulder on a character’s TV screen. That was not a coincidence, but an homage. J.J. Abrams has stated it was one of the inspirations for Fringe. However, the writers improved the concept by adding characters who are directly involved with the main plot, providing the series with a truly original spin. Whilst Mulder and Scully were just investigating completely unrelated incidents, in which they had no emotional investment (with the exception of the abduction of Mulder’s sister perhaps), Olivia was one of Walter Bishop’s guinea pigs and, as a child, was turned into a supersoldier (we’re guessing she might come in handy when the aforementioned war begins, but the extent of her ability is unclear). Peter Bishop, in turn, was actually stolen from “the other side” by his father. Unlike Mulder and Scully, the characters of Fringe are “a bit special” and would probably constitute an x-file themselves. Due to this narrative innovation, Fringe has the potential to be even better than The X-Files. Die-hard fans of Mulder and Scully may disagree, but that’s the truth (and it’s out there). After witnessing the grandeur of the finale of series one (when Olivia travelled to a universe where the World Trade Center towers haven’t been destroyed), most of us realised this show is a keeper; it's one 'fringe' that does not need trimming. In fact, we cannot wait for it to grow and entangle us even more in its wonderful web of weirdness. Jonathas Soares
GRIFFIN D'OH: When asked by Lois if he wanted to, Peter seemed to misunderstand the term "lick the carpet". o you remember the first time you D saw Peter Griffin fight that giant chicken? Do you remember how much
you laughed? I do. At the time nothing seemed to be funnier than a five minute long sequence in which a morbidly obese, bespectacled buffoon battles an oversized cockerel, traversing deserts and cities in the vain hope that one will claim victory over the other through physical might. The utter ridiculousness of this concept, and the sheer balls of the writers who thought they could get away with devoting so much time to so irrelevant an idea, left viewers in awe. It made you wonder where the show could go next.
Do you remember the third time he fought the giant chicken? Or the fourth? I don't. In fact, I find it hard to recall any of the storylines from episodes after about the fifth season. And this week, the DVD for the eighth is released. That's three whole seasons with nothing to show for it. You could probably argue that I'm treating this far too seriously, that it's a silly comedy show and doesn't deserve this sort of in-depth criticism. But the thing is Family Guy used to be so fresh, so funny. It was the more madcap Simpsons, the more gag-filled South Park. To see it now, obliquely referring to the random cutaway segments that
have seen it reviled and respected in equal measure, is to see a programme in the doldrums. When a TV show in order to fill a joke-shaped gap breaks the fourth wall and has a character talk of their own real-life spinoff, you know it's in trouble. Now, this wouldn't be so bad if the makers hadn't decided to forgoe all artistic merit of the show and instead sell its soul to the highest bidder. Microsoft were ready to sponsor a one-off Family Guy special to promote the launch of Windows 7 before pulling out due to concerns over edgy material. One of Peter Griffin's friends, Cleveland, has gained his own entirely unnecessary programme, The Cleveland Show, that
is due to run for at least two seasons. Last year Seth MacFarlane, its creator and now the highest-paid writer-producer in TV, signed a deal with 20th Century Fox that will bring Family Guy and other like-minded projects to our screens until at least 2012. MacFarlane isn't alone in finding buckets of money much more attractive than leaving a lasting cultural impact. The Simspons has now been bad for much longer than it's been good, and I'd argue that our own Peep Show would have benefited from a cancellation after the fourth season. You don't have to look far before you realise that true classics, such as Fawlty Towers and The Office, are considered as much because they leave viewers wanting more. It's a shame MacFarland et al haven't taken note. All this hasn't mentioned that Family Guy is funny, at times unbelievably. But at best, it's a sketch show. The jokes never derive from the narrative, but from the hilariously arbitrary cutaways (which are growing tiresome to say the least). The episodes' plots are so flimsy and unoriginal that they seem to take your attention away from the joke. The writing is so weak that the storylines become irrelevant. Everyone loves Family Guy. And I really want to. But it's hard to admire a show that instead of jokes simply refers to popular culture and treats sensitive subjects in an increasingly staid and bone-headed fashion. Perhaps the show will change, break its repetitive pattern and gain the crown of best animated comedy on TV. But looking at its DVD sales, I wouldn't put money on Seth MacFarlane pulling the plug for quality's sake.
Life, but not as we know it
Ben Upton is wowed by the wondrous imagery and soothing tones of David Attenborough
B
roadcast to coincide with the bicentenary of Charles Darwin’s birth, Life is the latest instalment in a series that started right back in 1979 with Life on Earth. It’s exactly what you’d expect from a David Attenborough documentary; ever stunning time-lapse and slow motion shots are perfectly combined with David’s calm kindly tones. It’s impossible not to be infected with his sense of enthusiasm and wonder for the natural world. It has more in common with his earlier series in terms of content, taking examples from all over the animal kingdom rather than focussing on specific groups such as insects or mammals. As always Sir David takes care to place the clips in an evolutionary context that will satisfy those coming to the show with biological knowledge. In the first programme he uses familiar examples such as flying fish and chameleons to show how specialised adaptations allow animals to dominate over their competitors. However, less well known examples such as a unique dolphin hunting behaviours will keep those familiar with the textbook examples engaged. One of the things that really sets
this series apart from its contemporaries is the balance between impartial scientific observation and the natural human inclination for storytelling. Those of you who, like me, are irritated by the current trend to use anthropomorphic language to describe every animal interrelationship (the patronising crooning of Kate Humble and Bill Oddie a case in point) will be happy with this series. Instead the programme freely cuts between showing a penguin
chick being torn apart by a leopard seal and two water birds performing a graceful synchronised mating dance. This approach, which imposes no humanity on the animals but simply allows them to display their instincts, is far more realistic and, in my opinion, makes it far more touching. The instincts which cause an octopus to sacrifice her life for the benefit of her offspring are the same which cause a human mother to run into a burning building to save her child. I believe
LADYBIRD: This is about as racy as the Discovery Channel gets.
it’s far more valuable to celebrate universal altruistic instincts and to know these instincts are hardwired than to try and attribute unreliable human qualities to animals. This series, as per usual, is accompanied throughout by an original orchestral soundtrack which fits well with the more dramatic sequences. Whilst it can seem a little epic sometimes, the fact that the series aims to give an overview of all life on Earth goes towards excusing this. The series was produced with the Open University and it’s evident from the accurate scientific language used that a chunk of the rumoured £10 million budget went towards scientific expertise. Now in his 83rd year of life Attenborough no longer appears on location, and although that’s a shame his narration is so well written it’d be unfair to say his visual absence detracts from the show. For fans of Sir David, this is just another great series that, better than anything else on TV, captures the beauty of the natural world. For those of you less keen on wildlife documentaries, this is as good as it gets.
Charlie don't surf. Charlie reviews games for Tech tech@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday November 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
21 Review
TECHNOLOGY
Let me see your War face! Richard Lane loves the smell of napalm in the morning ARMA II PC £24.99 EA
OPFLASH: DRAGON RISING PC, x360, ps3 £39.99 EA
F
eaturing a forty mission campaign spanning three entirely open islands and boasting the most realistic war simulation ever depicted in polygons, no game in existence was as ambitious as Operation Flashpoint: Cold War Crisis when it was released back in 2001. While certainly not the first Military Simulator ever made (the genre goes at least back to 1991’s SEAL Team) Bohemia Interactive's debut game revolutionised the genre in numerous ways. Whereas most shooters concentrated on frenetic combat in tight, enclosed areas, Flashpoint took the fighting to the sweeping fields and sprawling woodland of the fictional Malden islands. This resulted in huge outdoor battles, with bullets flying over hundreds of metres of open ground - any one of which could kill you or your team-mates instantly. Resultantly the game became less about killing as many enemies as possible and more centred on simply staying alive. Charging into the fray kicking ass and chewing bubblegum would usually end with the camera panning out to show your bullet-riddled corpse splattered above a famous quote about the futility of war. Keeping low, picking your targets and learning how to use the terrain to your advantage were all required to get anywhere in the game. As you can imagine, Flashpoint wasn't the sort of game you'd want to play near essay deadlines. The last three missions in particular were aneurysm inducingly-difficult. Once you got the hang of the basic
survival tactics, though, Flashpoint was utterly engrossing. Moreover, while depicting the traumatic experience of being a modern-day footsoldier was central to the game, you didn’t spend its entirety as a lonesome grunt with a glorified peashooter and a target painted on his forehead. Backing you up was a squad of up to twelve soldiers alongside tanks, helicopters, artillery and jet-fighters, all of which were playable at some point in the game. It wasn’t just the mechanics of Flashpoint that made it so successful. Along with their dedication to providing an authentic combat experience, BI also invested in Flashpoint’s story; centred on a conflict between NATO and the rogue Soviet General Aleksei Guba. The mission structure gave a genuine ebb-and-flow feel to the ongoing war and some scenes in the game, such as your character's survival of a botched assault on the town of Montignac, were truly harrowing. Despite Flashpoint's revolutionary gameplay visually it is looking rather dated. Some of its features, such as the rather cumbersome command menu, don't really stand up today. So after that sickeningly nostalgic opening, I shall step out of my secluded childhood and return to the year 2009 where two new military simulators are battling for the title of king of the genre. After the success of Flashpoint BI split from their publisher Codemasters, who retained the rights to the franchise name, and went on to develop a new series of military simulators. The first of these was Armed Assault (nonsensically abbreviated to ArmA). Released in 2005, ArmA was a confused mess of a game that was criminally short and contained more bugs than a fisherman’s bait box. ArmA 2 on the other hand is a solid return to form for the maestros of war-torn world craft, albeit not quite as brilliant as there debut release. Instead of the island archipelago setting of Cold War Crisis Crisis,, ArmA 2 takes place within the civil-war ravaged country of Chernarus where the US Army is asked to intervene in the ongoing political unrest (because as we all know the US Army never invades anywhere unless it receives a written invitation first). The player takes command of a four-man re-
MEDIC: Kevin's hayfever was far worse than previously thought connaissance team codenamed 'Razor', who undergo multiple covert operations within the troubled country. Of all the military simulators I’ve played, ArmA 2 is by far the most dedicated to recreating the action and strategy of contemporary warfare. Not only does it strive to provide the most realistic combat possible, it also aims to depict the day-to-day experience of being a soldier. The mission structure is remarkably open-ended. Larger levels involve scouting forests for enemy encampments, dealing with angry civilians and partisan groups, and locating and arresting key enemy figures. Additionally, how you deal with these scenarios can often affect the outcome of your mission. Of course, if the whole game consisted of hearts-and-minds politics then it would be keyboard-smashingly boring. When open fighting does break out it’s both intense and immersive, with enemy helicopters hovering overhead as artillery thunders around you and columns of black smoke tower from the smouldering wreckage of destroyed vehicles. However, while the combat is good, it isn’t quite as smooth or exhilarating as Codemasters' effort Dragon Rising. Aiming is painfully sluggish, which BI claim is part of there strive toward authenticity. Considering you're supposed to be a member
of an elite special-forces team, surely pointing your gun in the right direction shouldn’t be such a chore. While ArmA 2 falls a little short in providing a sheer adrenaline rush, it excels in virtually every other aspect of its intentions. Missions are diverse and interesting, the plot is another sweeping epic with multiple factions vying for control of Chernarus, and the number of weapons and vehicles on offer verges on pornographic. Yet there is a challenger to BI's monopoly on military simulation, in the form of Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising. Set on the island of Skira, Dragon Rising portrays the conflict between the Chinese People’s Liberation Army and the US Marine force, which has (once again) been requested by the Russian Federation to assist in the removal of the Chinese invasion force from the island. Of the games mentioned here, Dragon Rising is the only one to be released on consoles alongside PC. Because of this, the game came under a lot of flak during development for being necessarily ‘dumbed down’ in order to appeal to the console market. Let me state categorically that this is not the case. Bullets have physically accurate
flight trajectories and it only takes one well placed shot to turn you into another statistic. Also, unlike ArmA 2, the combat system makes you feel like a professional soldier rather than a cack-handed idiot who closes the wrong eye when aiming down the sights of his sniper rifle. It’s also the most exhilarating of the two games. The camera judders violently when explosions erupt nearby, spraying mud and dirt into your face, and tracers streak accross the screen like a deadly laser show during heavy firefights. Unfortunately, while the core combat experience of Dragon Rising is excellent, every other aspect of the game feels rather half-baked. Skira itself is pretty bland, with featureless terrain and villages that are emptier than Britain's mailboxes. The landscape is nowhere near as unimaginative as the missions, however, at least half of which involve clearing out enemy spotter teams so heavy armour can move forward, with the occasional village assault or seek and destroy objective thrown in. The complaints don’t end there. The game's impressive array of vehicles is hardly ever seen, let alone used, and apparently there are seventy available weapons, but I would be surprised if you encountered more than ten. As for the story, well, it’s briefly summarised in the opening cutscene before being kicked into a corner like a mangy cat in an RSPCA advert. Frankly, if it wasn’t for the redemptve gunfights this would be the most disappointing game I have ever played. Yet there is one potential saving grace for Dragon Rising (provided you have the PC version) as it has its own mission editor. Consequently a significant number of custom missions are already available online, many of which are better than Codemasters’ pathetic attempts. If you’re looking for a quick thrill or a straightforward introduction to military simulators, Dragon Rising is worth a shot, but it is also deeply flawed. For a more complete and involving war simulation, get yourself a copy of ArmA 2.
Puzzles
“
Fry says:
Puzzles
The Student Crossword #8
Solutions
Sudoku # 8
ACROSS 1. Simulated military operation (3,4) 5. No longer in existence (7) 9. To be unwell (3) 10. Depressed spirits (5) 11. Gravy (5) 12. Bind (3) 13. Pendant ornament (6) 16. Choose (6) 19. Poultry enclosure (4) 21. Plunge head-first (4) 23. Floor coverings (4) 24. Truce (5-4) 25. Remaining (4) 26. Partly open (4) 27. Chinese secret society (4) 28. Break (6) 31. Fuel oil (6) 35. Snow runner (3) 37. Modify (5) 38. Growl angrily (5) 39. Entirely (3) 40. Black magic (7) 41. Incident (7)
The object of Hitori is to eliminate numbers by shading in the squares such that remaining cells do not contain numbers that appear more than once in either a given row or column. Filled-in cells cannot be horizontally or vertically adjacent, although they can be diagonally adjacent. The remaining un-filled cells must form a single component (i.e there must be no isolated numbers
8. Mock (5) 14. City in central Texas (7) 15. Phantom (7) 16. Ruin (5) 17. Beverage of lime juice (7) 18. Small house (7) 20. Body of salt water (5)
22. Poles for sails (5) 28. Leases (5) 29. Seat (5) 30. Surplus (5) 32. Inhabitant of Iraq (5) 33. Simultaneous firing of artillery (5) 34. Cavalry weapon (5)
SUDOKU
Hitori # 8
CROSSWORD
HITORI
Sudoku is a logic-based number-placement puzzle. The objective is to fill the 9×9 grid so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 boxes (also called blocks or regions) contains the digits from 1 to 9 only once.
ANDY PANDA
DOWN 1. Cereal grain (5) 2. Garments (5) 3. Entertain (5) 4. The Orient (4) 5. Otherwise (4) 6. Armistice (5) 7. Daughter of one’s brother or sister (5)
I feel more sheepish than a sheep and more twattish than a twat"
Stephen Fry retracts his melodramatic declaration to leave Twitter. Slavish followers breathe collective sigh of relief. 1st of November on http://twitter.com/stephenfry
SCOTT MAHONY
Addicted to the box? Email sport@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday Novermber 3 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Sport 23
Napier edged out in volleyball thriller
Martin Domin reports as Edinburgh recover from Glasgow loss to see off neighbours
WHERE'S VOLLEY?: With almost equally matched teams it was hard to find a winner Women's Volleyball Match University of Edinburgh Napier University
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THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh’s women’s volleyball side recovered from their opening defeat to Glasgow as they narrowly edged out Napier University in their second match of the season. Determined to prove themselves after their initial loss, the Edinburgh players set out to achieve their first victory against Napier. This was the first home game of the season and the two sides knew each other well, having contested some close matches last year. The first set started with Edinburgh
managing to stay a few points ahead of Napier using strong service and defence. Edinburgh managed to reach the 25-point barrier first to take the opening set. The Napier team managed to lead during whole of second set as Edinburgh failed to overhaul their advantage despite coming close on several occasions. The errors that had been evident against Glasgow began to creep into Edinburgh’s play and the visitors levelled the match at one set all. Any hopes that Edinburgh would bounce back in the third set were soon dashed as the errors continued and Napier began to look comfortable. Despite making several substitutions,
the home side were unable to cut out errors and they seemed to be heading for their second consecutive defeat. As the match entered the fourth set, Edinburgh were still struggling to assert themselves. The team were failing to communicate with one another and they continued to gift Napier the points with some poor handling errors. With the score at 21-11 to the visiting team, the match looked all but over for the host side. Having called a time out, Edinburgh returned to the court and began to edge their way back into the match. Suddenly the drive that had been missing for so long was back and the side began to dominate. They couldn’t
afford to lose many points and thanks to some excellent serving, they somehow managed to record a 27-25 victory and force the match into a deciding set. From the very first point there was great concentration on both sites of the court, with very few mistakes as neither side wanted to give the other the advantage. Neither of the teams managed to pull away by more than two points. If the previous sets had been scrappy, the final set was an excellent demonstration of good volleyball. Although Napier had the chance to win the match with match points on both sides, Edinburgh managed to fend them off and come through to complete their first victory of the season.
Edinburgh bounced out
Alice Carver watches as Edinburgh fail to shine and Robert Gordon triumph EDINBURGH HOSTED the first SUS League trampolining competition of the year last month. As three-time champions, the host city had high expectations for the afternoon. The novice ladies and men were first to take to the stage and, at her first-ever competition, Kirsty McConnell performed two extremely neat routines to take the gold medal as she saw off over 50 competitors. Edinburgh’s other novice ladies bounced well but didn’t make it into the medals with Rebecca Simpson, Kirsten Chung and Laura Weatherhead coming ninth, tenth and eleventh respectively. Remarkably, the club also had several novice male competitors and although they all performed well, they were unable to break into the medals. Next up were intermediate ladies and men. In her first competition, Catherine Sykes performed well but was just outside the medals in fourth place out of 25. Anna Blyth and Becca Kemp also performed well as the finished seventh and twelfth place respectively.
In the intermediate men’s competition, Tom Jeffs also finished in fourth place. It was something of an agonising section for the Edinburgh club as they narrowly failed to sneak into the medal positions. The advanced and elite competitors were the star attraction in the afternoon as the competition heated up. In the advanced ladies’ section, in her first competition for the club, Jo Richardson performed extremely well and took the silver medal and some precious points for Edinburgh. Lyndsey Rae and Sarah Aitken also performed well and finished seventh and eighth respectively. Up next was the elite category which proved to impress the spectators. In the elite ladies’ category, Izzy Crowther from Queen Margaret (who trains with the Edinburgh club) flew into first place taking the gold medal. Edinburgh’s other elite competitor, Shona Black, finished just outside the medals in fourth place. Finally, the club’s elite man, James Spencer, managed to complete his routine for the first time ever, though he didn’t quite make it into
the medals. Many of the competitors from Edinburgh finished just outside the medals and so missed out on the points. As a result, the host city finished in fifth place in the league with Robert Gordon from Aberdeen
the ones to beat in first place. With three further competitions to follow, Edinburgh will be hoping for an improved performance as they bid to secure a fourth title.
CRASH LANDING: Hosts Edinburgh failed to impress on the trampolines
Injury Time TAKES A WRY LOOK AT THE WORLD OF SPORT
Money Money Money... THE GRAVENESS of Rangers’ financial predicament has only really hit home over the past few weeks since David Murray decided to quit as majority shareholder as well as chairman. As a result, the Govan side have been left with a debt of just over £21 million, which makes the future look bleak for the Gers. Do not misinterpret this as a criticism of long-serving Rangers benefactor David Murray. While his stepping down has resulted in the severity of Rangers’ debt being revealed, not too many of the Rangers faithful would jump in to lambast Murray. He is undoubtedly a ‘Rangers man’ who always had the clubs best interests at heart and his 21 year tenure in control only accentuates the genuine care he had for the football club. However, it was announced recently by none other than Walter Smith that the bank, that is Lloyds Banking Group, is effectively running the club. Such is the graveness of Rangers haemorrhaging financial situation, a Lloyd’s representative now sits on the board at Rangers and essentially is calling the shots. Amid the financial gloom at Ibrox lies a sad indictment on the state of Scottish football, and European football as a whole. For any football team to challenge domestically and in Europe it seems that there has to be a rich sugar-daddy bankrolling the club behind-thescenes. As the manager scurries around his technical area on matchdays invariably a few tiers above sits the affluent investor gazing down from his throne on high. Such is the dependence on a magnate or sheikh to fund a football club, the unsustainable reality of it all is not noticed until the wealthy owner exits stage right. It happened at Gretna, a microexample I grant you, and now it’s happening with Rangers. Murray was good to Rangers for 21 years and now as he looks to sell the club the severity of Ranger’s plight is made clear. Football, it seems to me, is becoming more and more reliant on one man with a handful of notes and less and less sustainable. On the other hand, however grave the financial situation is at Ibrox, the Gers faithful can be grateful for small mercies. At least they are not Hearts fans. While Rangers owe £21 million the Tynecastle side, at the end of the 2008/09 season, were a table-topping £30.5 million in debt. The reality is that Hearts are walking a financial tightrope. Hearts are almost completely reliant on resident ‘sugar-daddy’ and shady Ukio Bankas chief, Vladimir Romanov. My worry for Hearts has always been what will they do if the far from trustworthy Romanov decides to cut and run? His passion for Hearts is not that of Sir David Murray for Rangers and subsequently should he lose interest, Hearts will be riddled with debt and no way of getting back in the black. Cue, the next football moneyman.
Alistair Shand
Sport studentnewspaper.org Tuesday November 3 2009
Volleyball triumph after a fall
23
After a defeat at the hands of Glasgow, Edinburgh beats Napier P
Edinburgh Toogood for Watsonians Ed Senior reports as Edinburgh score two late goals to spare their blushes
LENGTHY GOALMOUTH SCRAMBLE: After a slow start Edinburgh upped their game to snap a victory out of the jaws of defeat Men's Hockey Match Watsonians University of Edinburgh
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EDINBURGH’S SECOND men’s hockey team ran out 4-2 winners over Watsonians on Saturday as they got the club off to a winning start. Neil McNiven started the good work early on as he hassled a defender into keeping the ball in play in the far corner of the pitch. McNiven then won the ball and provided the perfect cross for an unmarked James Styles, but the forward blazed over the bar from little more than three yards out. Styles did not let this get to him,
however, as he used his speed and upper body strength to dominate the Watsonians back line. It was he who then turned provider, crossing the ball into the D only for Ally Wood to provide the perfect air-shot, much to the amusement of the onlooking crowd. Edinburgh looked comfortable in possession but failed to finish off the chances they created for themselves. They did manage to take the lead after 20 minutes, however, as Styles’ effort hit the post and James Toogood was on hand to slot the ball home into the bottom corner. Watsonians rallied slightly, and both sides created more chances before halftime. Thanks to some fine goalkeeping
on both sides, the score remained 1-0 at the interval. Edinburgh were very slow out of the blocks in the second half and the away side capitalised on their sloppy and lackadaisical play, leaving the home side to rue earlier missed opportunities. Watsonians received a penalty corner and duly dispatched the ball into the goal, levelling the score at 1-1. Edinburgh didn’t let this setback get to them, however. During their first attack of the second half, they too were awarded a penalty corner. It may not have been as pretty as Watsonians’ effort but the end result was the same, as Styles eventually bundled the ball home after a lengthy goalmouth
scramble. Calamity then struck as Watsonians played a long ball forward out from their defence. Sam Trett came wildly out of his goal but failed to clear the ball effectively, leaving the Watsonians’ forward to run past the stranded keeper and pass the ball into the open net to draw the teams level once more. The match looked set to end in a draw, but with four minutes left on the clock Edinburgh were awarded another penalty corner after a raised stick from an opponent. Michael Henderson-Sowerby shot at goal and the ball rebounded at the feet of McNiven, who stroked the ball home to the delight of the partisan home crowd.
With their opponents stunned, Edinburgh then clinched victory two minutes later when Watsonians found themselves susceptible to a quick counter attack. The ball reached Wood; he flicked the ball into the path of McNiven who fired on target. The keeper pulled off a fine save but Toogood was on hand once again to tap the ball home and secure all three points for his side. Edinburgh looked in control more often than not but failure to snap up chances and a slow start to the second half had made things difficult. Yet the two goals in the last four minutes meant that Edinburgh saved their blushes.