POLLY’S BABY BLOG

Mum goals for 2022

Firstly, shout out to the amazing inaugural Style Nights event at the Parkgate Hotel. It certainly was super stylish and everyone looked fabulous. It was an honour to host the evening and great to be out and dressed up. A huge success. Well done Rosie and the whole team!

For me, it’s been a crazy few months. Exciting and stressful. Now that the world is getting back to pre-pandemic times, hosting gigs along with my radio and reporting duties are coming thick and fast. I feel my life at the moment is a big balancing act of spinning plates of being a Mum, work, child care, family, friends, home, self-care, don’t catch Covid etc. The last few months have been amazing and I've been able to full fill dream roles in my work and I’ve relished the opportunities, but as you know being a parent, that can be clouded with huge bout of Mum guilt and logistical child care nightmares. That and grandparent guilt as I call it when I've had to leave Indy with them for a few days as I head off to work. I never worry that Indy is being 'neglected' as she has so much fun every single day no matter where she is, I just hate the burden I put of my family sometimes. Grandparents are GOLDEN. They have saved the day a few times. We live in an era of the chaotic lifestyle and in 2022 I'm determined to reign it in a bit! Just a bit! I've made some Mum goals for 2022.

SAY NO MORE I overschedule myself constantly. Because I'm a freelancer, it's hardwired into me to say YES to every opportunity. I tend to put myself last on occasions and assume everything will just work out and then it becomes a logistically nightmare. I need to say more no this year to work situations that don't suit me. I want to work but I want it to be on my terms and I want to work the roles at I'm passionate about.

BE MORE PRESENT I want to create a daily habit of spending quality time with Indy, even on the busiest days when I'm working. Even if it's just 20 minutes where we sing a song or dance or pretend to do make-up together. She loves that at the moment. I just want a moment of me and her and no distractions where we really connect.

HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA DIET I'm going to try and set a daily or weekly unplug time when I turn off all distractions and just focus on my family. I'm addicted to my phone. I need to really tell myself to STOP on some occasions. My main goal is bringing down my screen time. As long as it's on a decline each week, I'm doing well.

MONTHLY FAMILY DATES Indy loves hanging out with Mum and Dad together. When Leighton my partner is back from work off-shore Indy loves it- she gets so excited. But due to obligations working at random times on my side... When Leighton is home, I tend to book work in and any days off together we usually spend just relaxing and lazing about, which is totally cool, but I want to plan more days out as a family. Make memories. I guess we don't technically have to leave the house and we could have a day of baking, local walks, picnics, going to the farm, swimming, small or big, just us 3.

GET OUTSIDE Get fresh air—and a fresh start to 2022—by spending some time outside. We love our treks so much and walks with a coffee, but we only tend to do that when we are away. We have all the gear and the beautiful Welsh outdoors are right on our doorstep. Time to get the walking boots out and this amazing Thule Sapling carrier for Indy. Time to give it a spin up Pen-y-Fan. Indy loves her scooter so much and we want to get her into a cycling class this year, so we can all get on our bikes together!

DO SOMETHING JUST FOR ME EVERY WEEK Lastly, setting a goal for myself, for Mama! Loving yourself is the most important goal that you should do. I miss the gym; I miss classes and I miss boxing. Trying to hit the gym at least once a week should be easy, I just need to motivate myself. I love a massage, getting my nails done, a walk around the Cardiff shops, listening to my favourite music on a walk... I want to get to more gigs this year, I want see and immerse myself in live music again. I’ve missed that over the last two years. If you give something for yourself, you can always manage stress and challenges.

I hope that this list will inspire you to set meaningful goals that will help you build a happy life for you and your kids.

POLLY'S BABY BLOG

UWC ATLANTIC - 60 YEARS YOUNG!

Welsh college at the heart of global thinking and transformation

The ancient town of Llantwit Major is steeped in education. Once home to the earliest formal centre of learning in the UK founded by St Illtyd, the area drew scholars from all over Europe with Irish and Welsh Patrol Saints Patrick and David reportedly among them.

Just two miles along the Heritage Coast in the 12th Century St Donat’s Castle is a modern-day reminder of this pioneering tradition. UWC Atlantic - or Atlantic College as it’s locally known - was founded in 1962 by education visionary Kurt Hahn, who also set up Outward Bound and The Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme. At the height of the Cold War he brought together teenagers from all over the world and from deliberately diverse backgrounds - financial, cultural and religious - to live, learn together through service to others. The aim? Greater understanding, peace and sustainability. And so another record was set in this historic corner of the Vale of Glamorgan with the inception of the world’s first international sixth form college. A story that began in a castle in south Wales 60 years ago has since grown into a global network of 18 colleges across four continents and home to more than 4,500 students from 155 countries.

And at the heart of UWC Atlantic’s ethos is a scholarship programme to ensure everyone from refugees to royalty and everyone in between, has the opportunity to study there. More than half of students receive financial assistance, and around 5% come from a refugee, displaced or persecuted background, benefiting from a full scholarship.

UWC Atlantic can lay claim to many historic ‘firsts’. It has a proud history in sea rescue having invented the Rigid-hulled Inflatable Boat and co-created the acclaimed International Baccalaureate. Now it is drawing up a new curriculum to explore solutions to the challenges of the 21st Century including climate change and conflict-resolution. And while proud to be the flagship of a global education movement, the college is immensely proud to be Welsh. October marks the beginning of UWC Atlantic’s 60th anniversary celebrations. As well as increasing scholarships for Welsh students, the college is preparing a postpandemic activity programme at its historic seafront and exploring new educational partnerships.

Atlantic college’s 60-year-old mission to ‘make education a force to unite people, nations and cultures for peace and a sustainable future’ is as relevant today as ever. If you are passionate about making a difference in the world - whatever your background or circumstances - or you would like to find out more how you can support what we do, we would love to hear from you.

Email :enquiries@atlanticcollege.org Tel: 01446 799000 Instagram: @uwcatlantic

UWC ATLANTIC COLLEGE

To say the Bardai’s journey to South Wales has been circuitous is an understatement.

It goes back to Uganda, then under British rule. Naheed Bardai’s parents - of Gujarati heritage - fled to Canada as refugees when, in 1972, military dictator Idi Amin expelled all Asians.

Born in Toronto, Naheed had a clear ambition - take over the family computer science business and use his acumen to help the developing world. But that ended abruptly during a student backpacking tour culminating in Pakistan where his aunt ran a school. “I began to realise how embarrassingly naive I was,” he says. “Who was I to project what I thought was good for someone living in a different part of the world?

“I knew if I really wanted to help, it was by teaching and empowering younger generations to make good decisions for themselves and their communities.”

Meanwhile, his future wife, Edwina, from a small town in Kenya, was planning her journey to the coastal city of Mombasa, to begin a career in tourism. The hotel she worked in was hosting a conference attended by Naheed, by now teaching at the city’s multicultural Aga Khan Academy, which is where they met.

After 10 years in Kenya, Naheed joined Toronto’s prestigious Upper Canada College. In late 2021 the historic Atlantic College - heralded by The Times as “the most interesting experiment in education since the Second World War” - was recruiting a new principal. “I didn’t hesitate,” he says. “UWC Atlantic was the first to bring together deliberately diverse students to foster world peace.

“I'm passionate about maximising the opportunities diversity brings, to ensure structures are in place for it to thrive and to collectively address some of our most pressing humanitarian problems. It speaks of the enhancement of human dignity, there’s no more noble outcome in my mind.” It’s only a few months since Naheed, Edwina, Rainan, five, and three-year-old Nabih, moved into their home near the walls of the ancient St Donat’s Castle, once home of American newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst and steeped in history. The boys have settled into local schools and are already learning Welsh.

“Our journey to Wales pales in comparison to some students,” Naheed says. “The hardships they have overcome, fleeing violence and living in refugee camps.

“We’ve just raised money for five Afghanistan scholarships but we’ve also got five Welsh full scholarship students.

“Wales is stunningly beautiful, rich in its language and culture but like everywhere, there can be a lack of opportunities in some areas. Connecting with its heartlands is vital.” Naheed’s priority is continuing the college’s tradition of pioneering, experimental education - UWC Atlantic co-created the International Baccalaureate.

Designing a radical education model for the 21st Century, he wants students to not only understand the challenges of today’s world but know how to take informed action to engender more fairness and compassion in the divergent societies they return to. “Thousands of our alumni all over the world regard Wales as their second home,” he says.

“I know how they feel. People told me I’d fall in love with Wales but warned me about the rain. But none of its beauty would exist without rain. Besides, I come from Canada. Have you heard about the winters over there?”

Naheed, Edwina, Rainan, five, and three-year-old Nabih

CALON CYMRU FOSTERINNG

Newly approved foster carer Mo took Jo and her Mum into her home when Jo was just 6 months old. Now, 22 years on, Jo is grateful for the life she has been able to live and the success she has achieved with the support and encouragement of her foster carer. Mo’s husband passed away suddenly, which made her re-evaluate life. Her friend was a foster carer and recommended she gave it a try, so she contacted Calon Cymru. Jo was one of Mo’s first placements, she was 6 months old when her and her Mum came to live with her in a parent and child placement.

A parent and child placement (also referred to as P&C) is a type of foster placement that gives parents the opportunity to demonstrate or learn how to look after their baby over an initial 12-week period, with the help and support of a foster carer. The foster carer is on hand to help give advice about feeding and bathing and making sure appointments are kept with the health and social worker.

Due to circumstances, Jo’s mum was unable to bring her up after the initial placement assessment, Jo was able to continue her placement with foster carer Mo up until adulthood: “I have so many fond memories of Jo growing up and I am unbelievably proud of her. She is now a qualified midwife. It wasn’t easy for her; she is very hands on, but must work hard with the theory, she persevered through it all. We have worked hard together getting through exams to give her as much choice as possible in life.”

With advice, support and monitoring from foster carer Mo, Jo was given the opportunity to lead an opportunistic life and is currently working long hours as a newly qualified midwife to save up the money to buy her own house. She believes the experience of being brought up around other children with different backgrounds and with different needs was what made her decision to go into the midwifery field. Mo was very supportive and helped Jo through her journey: “She supported me all the way, through everything. At high school, I was struggling with science and maths, so Mo got me tutors for these subjects and I went from getting E’s to B’s. She helped me get my first job whilst I was at college, so I was able to buy my first car. Mo helped me get ready for Uni and is still helping me now providing a place to stay while I save up for a house,” said Jo.

Jo’s aspirations were originally to be a forensic scientist after watching detective programs with Mo but soon realised that working with children was her passion. “I have always struggled to believe in myself but now I am realising I am doing something to help other women and young babies.”

“So many positives have come from being in Foster Care. My birth Mum will always be Mum, but Mo has been my maternal figure. Mo is the best thing that could have happened to me, and my Mum agrees,” said Jo.

Mo has looked after nearly 20 foster children/young people during her 22 years as a foster carer and feels she has been supported all the way with Calon Cymru, through the specialist training and support. She said: “Everyone I have had contact with including the social workers and therapists have all been amazing.”

Fostering doesn’t come without its challenges, and it is important to understand what being a Foster Carer entails. Mo told us: “You learn through experience. You can’t always do things right first time, but you learn. Be prepared for the unexpected.”

Jo has also received support from Calon: “Calon Cymru have been really good. They were there to help me whenever I needed them. They helped me with work experience, funding for tuition and accommodation for uni. Some aspects of being in care are not easy but Calon Cymru were able to work through things with me.” Jo explains how being part of a fostering was, “incredibly life changing.”

SUPPORTIVE FOSTER CARER

helps a young person achieve career ambitions

Do you have the resilience and passion to change young lives in Wales? We can help you to foster, visit www.caloncymrufostering.co.uk to find out more.

Copper Moon Photography

Yolanda Kingdon, on creating special birthing memories.

This style of photography is something I hold close to my heart. As a mother of four children, I understand how precious is every moment in your journey, from carrying your baby to your own rebirth as a woman in giving birth to your wonderful new baby, and the importance of capturing the tiny details that will only last a small amount of time. For me, when a family contacts me to book a photoshoot it is not just a photoshoot but documenting memories as they happen and then creating a story through imagery.

I have been doing pregnancy and baby photoshoots for over seventeen years, but photographing a birth was a new experience for me even though I had wanted to capture a birth for years. It is hard to find a woman and a family who are willing to trust a photographer at such an intimate and precious time, so I was very lucky to be part of Harriet Valentino’s birthing story on 16th May 2020. It was an experience I will never forget and from what Harriet and her husband told me, they appreciated me being calm, helpful and also a mother myself. I created a separate Instagram account for my Pregnancy, Birth and Baby Photography and a magical name @copper.moon.photography to represent myself as a person and the imagery I create.

Pregnancy and baby photography has been a normal thing in the UK for a long time, but birth photography is very new, though in North America it is just as normal as a pregnancy photoshoot. I would love to normalise birth photography here in the UK. Giving birth to a baby is just as or even more important than a wedding day, so why not document it? For those who are worried about the way they may look, trust me - this is the last thing you’ll be worrying about when looking back through your first moments with your newborn baby, the reactions of your partner and family, the time on the clock, your facial expression, the first cuddle, your baby's tiny toes and first cries. Let us capture the beauty of birth, new life and a new chapter in your lives!

Instagram: @copper.moon.photography

‘NO FAULT DIVORCE’ WILL HELP TO PUT CHILDREN FIRST.

Family law specialist Lisa Shrimpton tells us about upcoming changes in Divorce Law.

Every January heralds a spike in divorce enquiries – so much so that the first working day of the New Year is known as ‘National Divorce Day’. From April this year, divorce, and more specifically, the grounds for divorce are set to change. Divorce laws in the UK haven’t changed since they came into effect in 1973, but thanks to the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020, this Springtime will herald a change that will help separating couples with children to protect them from emotional distress a divorce may bring. The law currently requires one of the parties to take the blame, or be at fault for the failure of the marriage for one of five reasons; these are adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion, living apart for 2 years with agreement or 5 years without agreement.

For couples with children that wish to co-parent, the law has often been criticised because the need to apportion blame adds a further layer of animosity and stress to a relationship already in crisis.

However, from 6th April 2022, there will no longer be the need for either party to provide evidence of adultery, desertion or unreasonable behaviour. ‘No fault divorce’, as it is known allows couples to apply individually or jointly to divorce on the basis that their marriage has irretrievably broken down. It is hoped that in cases where children are involved that any lasting impact of separation will be minimised, thanks to the new law facilitating an amicable split.

The commonly recognised terms ‘Decree Nisi’ and ‘Decree Absolute’ will cease to exist. They will be changed to ‘Conditional Order’ and ‘Final Order’ respectively and will apply to all marriages and civil partnerships.

With no-fault involved, the change also means that a divorce application cannot be contested (except on the grounds of the validity of the marriage); it is hoped that this will result in a more cost-effective, and less contentious process for all parties involved.”

Lisa Shrimpton

For more information or advice, contact the family law team at Robertsons via law@robsols.co.uk

Interior design columnist Yvonne Jones has over 30 years of experience in interior design, having trained at the Royal College of Art and is founder of ‘Chameleon Interiors’ based in Pontcanna Cardiff. Yvonne regularly works for clients in London, Monaco, Italy and Spain. Her intricate eye for detail and design has seen her stay a consistent and trusted figure.

Do things that are good for your wellbeing

Reconnecting to our highest self; reconnecting to your soul and do things that are good for your wellbeing. This seems to be the mantra for 2022.

fter the anxiety of last year we need to focus on being the best

Aand living the best way so that we disperse stress and anxiety. Do things that make you happier and create environments that make you happy. How do we do this in our homes?

The most obvious is to clear clutter and get rid of what is unnecessary. To connect – find a calm, quiet spot to spend time in. As we spend so much time at home ensure you create a calm and quiet spot somewhere in your home or garden – a retreat.

Where do you start? How about your bedroom and bathroom. Think of how much time we spend in these two rooms; almost half of our lives. When recreating these spaces think of calming, clean, neutral colour schemes that infuse simplicity and harmony. Consider blending antique pieces with new items; a style that emerges over time. Ultimately, your decorating style should be a reflection of your personality and your home should be filled with things you love and which make you feel safe, comfortable and at home.

The images show a recent Chameleon makeover, ie ‘a grown up’ bedroom and ensuite that combine timeless elegance and calmness. My advice for 2022 is to enjoy the moment and take each step slowly and decisively. Take your time!