Yellowbelle Duaqui / Jeepney Press

Wisdom from the Old Pink Tree

At forty years old, I have come to learn precious lessons that only experiences gained through time can teach. Among these are the following:

CRISIS TESTS RELATIONSHIPS

I learned that the depth of a relationship can only be tested by a crisis. People who are there for you during a crisis to help or even just to listen or sit with you as you figure things out are priceless. Keep them. While so many others you know have ghosted or stayed away from you during a crisis, they chose to bear suffering with you during difficult times. These people are your people. These are the relationships worth fighting for. Your worst period has revealed who they are.

THE REAL GIVERS

The wealthiest and most beautiful people you know are not necessarily the kindest. Just because they obviously have resources doesn’t mean they are going to throw you a helping hand if your boat is sinking. Usually, it is the people who know suffering because they have gone through hard times – even if their resources are scarce – are the ones who will do something to help you. Choosing friends should therefore not be based on beauty, wealth or popularity but based on character.

ENDINGS HURT BUT THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL AND NECESSARY

Like cherry blossom season, there are things that are simply meant to end, be it a precious friendship, a life well-lived, a beautiful romance, or a business partnership. While it is usually painful when things don’t last, it is only when things end that new things can begin. So, even when it hurts, let it be.

FINDING “THE ONE”

Every love story is unique. Every person in a flourishing romantic relationship has a special story to tell on how he or she has found “the one”. But while others find their special someone during traveling or work, I have ascertained that finding my person took place when I was ill. During the time when I was weak, in need of help and vulnerable, this person showed up despite all the personal hassle to take charge of my recovery. He loved and cared for me at my worst. When you are cared for at your weakest – as you endure others who chose to leave and ignore your suffering – you will feel loved the most.

YOUR WORST ENEMY

During your worst period, the feeling of betrayal is stronger when people simply watch your pain without offering help. Unfortunately, this could come from people you love and care about, whom you might have expected in the past to care for you when the time comes that you have fallen ill or are facing trouble. Your worst enemy does not come from your established foes, who might surprise you with their kindness during a difficult time. Your worst enemy is someone you used to care about and thought highly about.

About the Author

Yellowbelle Duaqui was a former Japanese government scholar who attended Sophia University in 2008 to 2011 and Tokyo University of Foreign Studies in 2008. She is currently a lecturer of Sociology at De La Salle University Manila. She is an author, researcher, teacher, and an advocate for children. In loving testimony to her time spent in Japan as a student, she has published a poetry book titled Verses from the Old Pink Tree in Amazon Kindle. To those interested, you may click this link: https://www.amazon.com/VersesOld-Pink-Tree-Filipino-ebook/dp/B 09PDHL4F5

Yellowbelle Duaqui