Jeepney Press: Advice Ni Tita Lits

Take It Or Leave It!

by Isabelita Manalastas-Watanabe

Dear Tita Lits,

Hello po. Half Japanese po ako. Tatay ko po, Hapon. Nanay ko, Pilipina. Pero, ang dala ko po ay Philippine passport. Nasa Japan po ako ngayon under a student visa kaya meron lang po akong 2 years stay sa Japan. Over 21 years of age na po ako kaya hindi na raw pwedeng ilagay yung pangalan ko sa family register ng tatay ko. At nag asawa na po ang tatay ko sa ibang Pilipina. Gusto ko pong mag-stay sa Japan at dito na manirahan. Ano po ba ang pwede kong gawin? Saan po kaya ako pwedeng kumuha ng tulong sa mga tulad kong half Japanese pero hindi kinikilalang half Japanese? Sana ay matulungan po ninyo ako.

Akira Nagoya

Dear Akira:

Maraming hindi clear sa iyong sulat:

1. Ikanasal ba ang nanay mo at ang tatay mong Hapon? Kung legally married sila, dapat nandoon sa kosehi touhon (family register) ang detalye ng kasal nila at ng iyong pagsilang; 2. Kahit hindi sila legally married, kung kinilala ka niya na anak niya, ay may dokumento kang magagamit para i-prove na of Japanese descent ka; 3. Kahit hindi sila ikinasal, kung i-a-adopt ka legally ng tatay mo, ma-so-solve ang problema mo; 4. Kung ayaw ng tatay mo to do anything with you and your mother, tanungin mo si nanay mo kung may proof siya na anak ka ng Hapon. Kapag na-prove mo sa Japanese authorities na of Japanese descent ka, you can be given permanent residence in Japan. Dito, sigurado ako. But as I said, dapat may prueba. 5. Meantime, maghanap ka muna ng company na mag-ha-hire sa iyo bago matapos ang iyong student visa. Kapag ini-sponsor ang working visa mo, at least may pisi ka pa to stay longer sa Japan after you graduate. Pero ayusin mo ang mga dokumento mo to prove na talagang anak ka ng Hapon. Then apply to be in Japan as permanent resident which you rightfully deserve to get.

How do we grieve for a loved one who we have lost?

My dear readers:

I hope you would not mind me using you as my shock absorbers for the very deep sadness and grief that I have been feeling since the passing away of my father last March 23, 2019. Maybe writing about it, may somehow ease even just a little bit, the indescribable pain I still have in my heart.

During Deng’s wake (that is how my mother and us, siblings, address our father), we received many offerings of prayers, and one small, simple card, sent by one of the high school classmates of my sister, stood out, with its comforting words:

“When you lose someone you love, the empty space in your heart feels like it will stay that way forever. But little by little, it becomes a place where you can keep favorite thoughts of happier times tucked away.

“Someday comfort will come and better days will follow. Until then, know that everyone who loves you is sending caring thought and keeping you close in heart.”

Tears suddenly fall when I see things that bring memories of Deng – his favorite dinuguan, chicharon, sisig… I have asked friends how I could properly grieve, if I haven’t done it yet, as it seems that the loneliness and the emptiness persist even after almost 3 months now. Maybe I could not accept that Deng is not anymore there when I go home and visit his kubo, to kiss his hands (magmano). I cannot anymore, bring him his favorite food and take him out to eat in a nice restaurant.

I know that he is not anymore suffering from all those tubes inserted in many parts of his body while he was confined at the ICU of a hospital in my home province in the Philippines. I know that he is now in the company of our Lord in heaven, happy and without pain. I still talk to him after mass, or during my alone moments, asking him to please help me and my other siblings in whatever burdens that we carry.

I am not sure how I would have responded if someone else wrote that I have written above and asked for an advice. Maybe just to pray, and pray, and pray for strength.

Thank you, dear readers. Please offer a little prayer for me after reading this. Thank you very much.

Tita Lits