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Restore, Empower, Win, Improve, Nourish and Develop Marriage SPRING 2015

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

or are they?

SPENT OUT?

ARE YOU LIVING BEYOND YOUR MEANS?

tips to help you avoid being a

BRIDEZILLA

LIFE LESSONS Surviving Storms

A PRAYER FOR COUPLES Keeping God In It

I MARRIED HIM...

HE MARRIED THE CHURCH. NOW WHAT?

911 MARRIAGE EMERGENCY

Readers Questions Answered

Restore, Empower, Win, Improve, Nourish and Develop Marriage

SPRING 2015 PUBLISHER/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Tamara Hundley tamara@uniqdesign.org GENERAL MANAGER Terrance Hundley ASSISTANT EDITOR LaTonya Gibson MARKETING TEAM Rosalyn Hall, Derryck Fletcher CONTRIBUTING WRITERS LaTonya Gibson, Zelma Allen, Terrance Hundley, Tamara Hundley Derryck Fletcher, Pamela Bell and Sylvia Marion GRAPHIC DESIGNER Tamara Hundley ILLUSTRATOR Dominic Jordon, Jr. SALES info@rewindmarriage.com FOUNDERS Terrance and Tamara Hundley

Advertising/Editorial/Business Offices to view online and support, visit:

www.rewindmarriage.com

Editorial Inquiries: Send inquiries to info@rewindmarriage.com (no phone calls please). The magazine is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or artwork. REWIND does not necessarily share the opinions of its authors. Editorials are solely the opinion of the contributor and not necessarily the shared opinions of REWIND. To subscribe visit www.rewindmarriage.com. Subscription Price: $18 per year. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission by REWIND is prohibited. Copyright 2013.

Uniqdesign, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

REWIND Magazine is a Uniqdesign Publication.

REWIND (ISSN 2169-3102) is a free online publication.

Subscription and fee required for printed copies.

CONTRIBUTORS

Derryck Fletcher is a radio host for Morgan State University’s (WEAA 88.9 FM) Sunday Gospel Music Show. He is a loving husband and father of three.

LaTonya Gibson is an author, editor and freelance writer.

Terrance & Tamara Hundley Publishers & Contributors

Restore, Empower, Win, Improve, Nourish and Develop Marriage

Editor’s Corner Rosalyn Hall is the Owner and CEO of RMH Marketing, a Maryland-based Marketing Company.

Zelma Allen Financial Advisor, Columnist, and Realtor. Happily Married with three children.

In a day where it seems that marriages are falling apart everywhere — especially in the church — be encouraged and know that God has it all in control. He ordained the institution of marriage, therefore it is good and it will stand... no matter what it looks like. So we admonish you to fight for your marriage and know that if God can raise the dead (and He can), restoring and reviving your marriage is no problem for Him. Before you throw in the towel and decide to walk away, take a moment with God and seek restoration. The reality of your situation may be too much for you and your spouse to even consider moving forward, BUT GOD is not disturbed by your reality. He can do anything and turn any situation around. Give it to God and follow His direction.

Terrance & Tamara Hundley We advise anyone considering marriage to seek biblical pre-marital counseling.

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MARRIAGE MATTERS

I MARRIED HIM...HE MARRIED THE CHURCH. NOW WHAT? Submitted by a reader.

911 MARRIAGE EMERGENCY— ASK MINISTER BELL Licensed Therapist, Pamela Bell, answers questions submitted by readers in our new “Ask Min. Bell” column. BY PAMELA BELL

13

PRAYER WORKS

MAKE IT AN INTEGRAL PART OF YOUR MARRIAGE.

www.rewindmarriage.com 6 REWIND / Spring 2015

16

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER — Or Are They?

BY LATONYA GIBSON

20

FINANCE & BUSINESS SPENT OUT? Living Beyond Your Means. BY ZELMA ALLEN

contents

MARCH 2011

JACKIE’S STORY Jacquiline Lewis shares her story of love, loss, and faith. BY DERRYCK FLETCHER & LATONYA GIBSON

25

LIFE LESSONS

26

10 TIPS TO AVOID BEING A BRIDEZILLA.

Storm Proof

BY SYLVIA MARION

Don’t Make Everyone Miserable While You Prepare For Your Wedding Bliss. BY TAMARA HUNLDEY

PLUS

DISASTER PREPAREDNESS Are your documents and files safe? BY KETIH BARNEY

16 WAYS TO DESTROY in every issueYOUR MARRIAGE Avoid these at all 4 / EDITOR’S NOTE costs.

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Marriage Matters

I MARRIED HIM...

NOW WHAT?

by An Anonymous Reader

J

ohn and I were married 33 years ago. The first few years were great and then he was called to pastor… it all got crazy after that. Now four children and 33 years later, I find myself packing my bags and moving out before he returns home from yet “another revival/crusade”. My heart is heavy because I love him and always have, but no longer can I take a back seat to his mistress — “the church”.

For years I kept my hurt and frustration in as I questioned how anyone would understand what I was feeling.

I was married to a wonderful man who loved everyone and did whatever he could, whenever he could, to help people. To my knowledge there was never any infidelity and he was always a good provider. About 10 years ago, I spoke to one of the heads of our church organization and disclosed my feelings to him. He told me I was out of order. He said my first priority is to support my husband in the call that God has placed on his life and not to cause him any unnecessary stress by bringing this matter of “feeling neglected” to his attention. He told me I should be grateful to have a husband whose attention is primarily on the things of God and not other women. I didn’t want to accept his answer, but the things he said were true. I did have a good husband who loved God — even if his first love, after God was the church and not me.

About a year ago, I finally revealed to my husband how I was feeling. He told me I was being ridiculous. He said he does love me and is not putting me on the back burner. He said ministry is a sacrifice, which includes time away from the home and the family, but it does not mean he loves us less than he loves his assignment. Because I love him so much, I tried to accept his answer, although I knew it did not change my reality. You see, my children basically grew up in a one-parent home. Although we were both living at home, my husband spent most days through the week working at the church or attending to

10 REWIND / Spring 2015

the needs of individuals at the church. He also spent most weekends working on ministry related projects or travelling with other pastors and bishops to other cities, states and countries for the purpose of ministry.

Through the years, I have been the parent who attended most school events and activities outside of the church for my children. They were even limited because he did not want them out of church too often. He was fine as long as they attended church and worked in ministry.

They could do that seven days a week and he would be fine. However, the minute they got involved in school activities, sports or even spending time with their friends, the time limits were put in place. Today, my children resent their father for this. They love him with everything in them, but feel that they even take a back seat to his first love – “the church”.

I wish this wasn’t such a taboo topic for those of us who are married to pastors and feel this way. I am not the only one. I know of several first ladies who feel the same way, but will not touch the topic. Instead, they have decided to simply accept things for what they are for the sake of “the ministry”.

This hurts so bad and I wish there was someone who really understood my decision to leave. I am longing for my husband’s attention. I am lonely. I hurt for my children, who feel neglected. And I no longer want to feel like his trophy – someone one to show off with fine jewelry, pretty clothes, hats, and shoes. I love him and I want to feel loved beyond things.

Everytime he leaves I make plans to walk away and ask God to help us both through it. It is already painful, but to continue in the state that we have been in for over 30 years would be toxic.

Marriage Matters

HE MARRIED THE CHURCH. This reader is crying out for help, looking for someone who understands and can offer support. If you are a pastor, spouse of a pastor, professional Christian counselor or licensed marriage therapist, we ask you to take the time and send us a response to run in our next issue.

It is our prayer that your response will help this reader and others who are in similar situations, but have no one they trust enough to tell.

Respond by emailing us at

info@rewindmarriage.com

11 REWIND / Spring 2015

Marriage Matters

e g a i r Mar ENCY G R E M E

1 1 9

by Pamela Bell, LCPC

Minister Pamela Bell is a Licensed Therapist and owner of Serenity Counseling in Randallstown, MD. She has Counseled couples for more than10 years - Married 26 years

Ask Minister Bell

Q: Is it necessary that we always end everything in agreement because we are one? - Oneness?

A: Dear Oneness?, Marriage presents many opportunities for us to grow our faith. Whenever you and your spouse have a different point of view, go to the Bible for God’s instructions. The Bible is our manual for prosperous living. Ephesians 5:21 says, be courteous and respectful to one another out of respect for Christ. It’s impossible to grow with someone who treats you like you’re stupid. So, instead of shouting or pouting when you and your spouse don’t see eye to eye – agree to disagree. Be respectful. Be open. Be willing to learn something new.

Q: Our desire levels are totally different when it comes to sex. How do we find balance? - Unbalanced A: Dear Unbalanced, Firstly, it is very important to get a physical check up and a mental health evaluation to rule out medical or psychological issues that may be affecting your sex life. Stress, grief, trauma, hidden resentments, hormonal imbalances, medications, injuries and disease are just a few reasons why people experience a decline in their sex drive. Talk to your health care provider about the changes in your sex life and follow-up on their recommendations.

Once you take marriage vows, your body is not your own. You owe it to your spouse and to yourself to seek treatment right away. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 says: The husband should give his wife what she deserves as his wife.

And the wife should give her husband what he deserves as her husband.

The wife does not have power over her own body. Her husband has the power over her body. And the husband does not have power over his own body. His wife has the power over his body. Don’t refuse to give your bodies to each other.

You will find balance in your sex life when both of you take full responsibility for each other’s sexual needs. Daily communication is the key. Ask your spouse this simple question everyday: “What does your body need today?” Tell them what you need as well. If intercourse is not physically possible, explore other options together. There are many ways to achieve sexual gratification.

12 REWIND / Spring 2015

Q: My husband had an affair with someone who attends the same church we attend. I have forgiven him and we want to move on with our marriage. However, I am having a VERY difficult time seeing her every time I go to church. How can I deal with this? - Unsettled A: Dear Unsettled, I commend you on your willingness to forgive your husband and for continuing to attend worship service at your home church. It is important to maintain your connection to the Body of Christ; however, it must be extremely difficult to see this woman. She is a constant reminder of a painful time in your marriage. Seeing her has become a stumbling block to your healing process. Forgiveness requires spiritual growth and time to heal. If you are being distracted in church, your marriage will suffer. If you are unhappy at church, you will be tempted to walk away and that is something that you cannot afford to do. It sounds like it’s time for you and your husband to talk to your pastor about this matter. He/she is required to tend to your spiritual development and provide pastoral care. If changing churches is best for you and your husband, you should ask for your pastor’s blessings.

Submit your questions to info@rewindmarriage.com

Marriage Matters

Dressed To Kill l

Lessons from the Armor The first in a series of The first in a series work designed of books work books designed aid in to aid in theto practical the practical application of lessons appilcation of from scripture lessons from

PRAYER WORKS! F

Make it an integral part of your marriage

ather, it is written in Your Word that we are to esteem our marriage as precious, worthy of great price and especially dear. We agree with Your Word and act accordingly.

By a conscious act of our will, we put away strife by becoming swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. We confess and believe that we neither offend nor take offense with one another.

Your Word says You have knit us together in purpose and in power, therefore we commit ourselves and our marriage to be the mighty instrument upon earth that You designed us to be. Our desire is to be an example of Your love to our family and friends.

So Father, right now, we make a quality decision to live in harmony. We agree not to give ourselves over to selfish desires that will cause division and distrust. We declare that we honor and value our marriage by keeping our marriage bed undefiled. We declare that our marriage grows stronger every day and is an encouragement to those around us. We will conduct ourselves honorably and becomingly—being kind, tenderhearted, compassionate, understanding and loving toward one another. We are always ready to believe the best, and we freely forgive one another.

Father, we declare and therefore it is established that we live in a peaceable habitation and quiet resting place. Thank you, Father, for making us heirs together of the grace of life! We begin this commitment before Your throne in the Name of Jesus and by the authority of Your Word. Amen.

s

Reprinted with permission from Kenneth Copeland Ministries

scripture

By LaTonya Gibson

By LaTonya Gibson

For more information & to order an advanced copy log onto uniqdesign.org

REWIND / Spring 2015

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Zelma Allen

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s d n o m a i D

Marriage Matters

by LaTonya Gibson

WHAT IS OR SHOULD BE THE AVERAGE COST OF A WEDDING RING?...AND WHO DECIDES? According to the Social Security Administration, the national average wage index for 2013 was $44,888.16 (http://www.ssa.gov/oact/cola/ AWI.html). Considering most bridal magazines suggest that an engagement ring should be equal to two months’ salary, the average engagement ring should cost about $7,481.36. Who really benefits from the spending of these 7,481 USD? Sure, the woman gets to tote around a rock that can be viewed from Mars

16 REWIND / Spring 2015

and the man gets bragging rights, but who really benefits? According to a 2014 study conducted by Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon, it is definitely not the couple.

HIGHER RING COST ­— HIGHER DIVORCE HAZARD Contrary to what every jewelry store and bridal magazine would have you believe, Francis and Mialon’s study suggested that once an engagement ring crossed the $2000 threshold, a direct correlation between its higher cost and a higher hazard of divorce became apparent. It’s true – the

$8,000 ring may last forever, but will the marriage? Not according to the study. The study seems to suggest that those who spend over $2000 on an engagement ring are 1.3 times more likely to have marriages that end in divorce. However, gentlemen, you are not off the hook. It also seemed to suggest the same hazard exists for those who have no engagement ring or who spend less than $500.

THE EFFECT OF WEDDING RELATED EXPENDITURES ON MARRIAGES The study also revealed how wedding related expenditures have a negative

Are Fore ver

Marriage Matters

Or Are They? effect on marriages too. According to the study, wedding expenses should be above $1000, but definitely less than $20,000. Once the $20,000 mark is hit marriages are 1.6 times more likely to end in divorce. That leaves a huge gap in expenditures, but the sweet spot seems to be $1000. In that vicinity the study indicates that the divorce rate is actually cut in half.

CHOOSE MODERATION AND PROPERLY PREPARE At this point most women have stopped reading and most men have started doing cartwheels. So what’s the lesson here? In all things

choose moderation. That’s what the Bible teaches. Yes, your wedding is a wonderful time of celebration and extravagance, but that luxury can lead to debt. Debt and financial hardship wreak havoc on marriages and can bring about resentment as one’s fairy tale wedding becomes a nightmare marriage.

PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE...

NOT JUST THE WEDDING

Discover how the core of who your spouse is corresponds with the core of who you are. Invest your money in pre-marital counseling. Purchase and read books about marriage together.

This will generate conversation, debate, and discovery. Discuss money and learn to make financial decisions that positively impact the other. These investments are priceless and will last a lifetime.

Instead of spending great lengths of time and money on the wedding, dedicate time and effort to preparing for the marriage. Get to know each other’s callings, gifts, and abilities.

17 REWIND / Spring 2015

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18 REWIND / Summer 2014

Marriage Matters

19 REWIND / Spring 2014

Finance

Are You Living Beyond Your means?

by Zelma Allen

According to the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis, most people in the United States are living beyond their means while personal savings rates are at their lowest levels since the Great Depression. The correlation between the two facts is clear.

When savings are dwindling, U.S. households are taking on more debt. As a result, they are less able to handle financial blows like the loss of a job or a downturn in the economy.

20 REWIND / Spring 2015

I

f you are concerned that your finances could be in danger, there is a way to tell whether you are in over your head. You could simply ask yourself a few questions. Are you spending more than you can afford? Are you failing to save even a portion of your paycheck? Are your bills spiraling out of control? These surface level questions only begin to paint the picture of your financial well-being. But there are other signs that you are living beyond your means, which may be less obvious. Listed below are considerations designed to put your finances to a real test.

1. You could not survive financially without your job’s income for at least six months.

You are underestimating the realty that bad things can happen to good people. While most financial advisers recommend six months of savings, I suggest that you have at least one year of savings and a maximum of four years of savings in case you have an emergency. This way you can sustain your current lifestyle with no income. If you think that this is too excessive, look at all the people who have been unemployed for months and even years. If you don’t have anything near this amount saved, and you are in debt, then you are living beyond your means.

OVEREXTENDED? 2. You vacation on credit.

You know things are tight, but you need to take that vacation. You feel it’s for your mental health. After all, you have worked hard and feel that you have earned it.

When you use your credit card to pay for the vacation, consider this financial rule of thumb: If it takes you longer to pay for the purchase than the actual “life span” of the item, then you can’t really afford it.

The interest payments will last longer than the memories of a weekend in the Virgin Islands.

Start a plan to save money for vacations well in advance of the time you will need to book tickets. Don’t make reservations until you’ve saved enough to pay for the tickets and the extras that can add to the cost of a trip: tips, parking and baggage fees.

3. Your house payment is only affordable on a 30 year term

mortgage.

If you calculated the amount of home you can afford based only on a 30-year fixed mortgage, you may be taking on more than you can afford. Instead of strapping yourself to a 30 year fixed mortgage payment, consider how much more affordable less house with a shorter loan term would be.

If you are able to get a 4 percent interest rate and a 15 year fixed mortgage on a $250,000.00 mortgage loan compared to a 30 year fixed mortgage, the difference in the payment could be less than $400.00.

However, you would save $97,020.00 in interest over the life of the loan and own the home in less than two decades.

4. You only consider monthly payments when buying a car.

Second to your home, a car is one of the most expensive items you will purchase in your life. While it’s understandable to

focus on monthly payment amounts when determining how much car you can buy, your ability to afford a monthly auto loan payment does not mean you can afford the car.

If you have to stretch the term beyond 24 months on a lease or 36 months on a purchase you are buying more car than you can afford. It is not the car dealer, salesman or bank’s job to make your car affordable.

If the wheels on your car are worth more than the value of your car, you are living beyond your means.

5. You have paid overdraft fees in the last 12 months.

If money is so tight that you have to rely on overdraft protection in order to float your lifestyle, you are living way beyond what you can afford. You probably already knew this one.

21 REWIND / Spring 2015

Finance Spent Out cont...

6. You are exceeding your credit limit.

When you exceeded your credit limit it means that you are relying on plastic and lack discipline. Exceeding your credit limit does not just cost you in over-limit fees; it can lower your credit scores because your credit balances are higher.

Lenders will feel that you are in over your head. Necessary credit will cost you more in the future and your interest rates will be sky high.

7. You are in debt, but you pay someone to do a job that you could do yourself.

Why are you paying others to clean your house, clean your car, mow your lawn and manicure your nails? Are you really too busy to do these things? Instead of paying someone else for skills you possess, do the task yourself and put that money towards paying down your debt, building your emergency account and funding your retirement.

8. Your credit card balance has remained the same.

Simply holding your own (where your balance remains the same) is a good sign you are living beyond your means. Further, if your balance grows each month, you are way out of bounds. Remember, credit card debt is very expensive. You cannot deduct the interest on your tax returns and unlike, mortgage debt, the debt does not finance a potentially growing asset. When you use your credit card to purchase a car or a vacation these are considered depreciating asset.

9. You are using one credit card to pay another credit card balance.

If you are looking for new cards to transfer your balances to, but you still owe the same balance on the new card, you are not getting ahead. If you are doing a balance transfer, because you need to raise your personal debt ceiling, that is not acceptable. If you have a balance on a high interest rate credit card and you transfer it to a lower interest rate credit card, you will save money in the long run. This is acceptable.

10. Your bills are spiraling out of control.

Buying on credit and paying by installment has become a national pastime. The problem is that all of these bills will start

22 REWIND / Spring 2015

to add up, and you will end up nickel and diming yourself into bankruptcy. If your monthly income is being sliced and diced to pay for dozens of unnecessary installment purchases and services, you are likely in over your head.

Lay all of your bills on your table, and go through them one by one. Do you have an internet bill, an expensive premium TV package, a satellite radio bill, a data bill for your PDA, a cell phone bill, and bills for all those other countless gadgets? This equates to an enumerable host of monthly bills. Ask yourself if each of those products and services are necessary.

For example, do you need a 400-channel premium cable TV package, or would you really notice the difference if you have fewer channels and paid less monthly fees?

Some of the best places to find savings include your telephone bills. Do you need a cell phone and a land line? Do each of those phones need all of the upgrades?

Find savings in your utility bills. Turn off the lights, and do not run the air conditioning if nobody is home. You can also find savings in your entertainment expenses. Dine out less and pack a lunch for work.

11. Your credit card balances are increasing.

If you are only paying the minimum due on your credit card balance each month, or if you send in only a small payment toward the principal balance, you are most likely in over your head.

You only charge what you can pay off at the end of each month. If you cannot afford to pay off the balance in its entirety, you should at least send something toward the outstanding principal.

The importance of paying down credit card balances as soon as possible cannot be understated. A person with $5,000.00 in credit card debt who makes the minimum payment of just 225.00 per month will end up spending more than $7,500.00 and it will take almost 12 years to pay off the debt.

12. More than 28% of your income goes to your house.

If you are spending more than 28 percent of your gross monthly income on housing, it is a red flag that you are living beyond your means. This could put you at risk for foreclosure. You may want to consider moving to a more affordable home or refinancing your mortgage loan to a lower fixed rate. If your home has decreased in

value over the past year, talk with a loan officer to see if your loan can qualify for a Loan Modification Program. Look for other opportunities to downsize in other areas, such as utilities, personal care and communications (cable, cell phones, etc).

If you are currently living beyond your mean, a detailed budget can help you get back on track. Keep in mind that while you may think you can keep a tally in your head, it is important to have a written budget so you can keep close track of all your expenses.

It requires great sacrifice to see long term and to think beyond what your flesh wants right now. However, it is possible to do so and still enjoy life. You can become a savvy shopper. You can stop living beyond your means by learning how to bargain hunt, compare prices, and make some simple substitutions. For example, clipping coupons, choosing generic instead of name brands, and buying in bulk could save you hundreds or even thousands of dollars a year. Also, you can make your dollar go a long way by fixing your own lunch, and seeking out free events, rather than taking expensive vacations.

Living beyond your means is fairly common. However, it is a very dangerous trend that could put you at risk for serious debt, bankruptcy, or foreclosure. You may be unaware of how much you spend, or you may simply be letting instant gratification interfere with your long-term goals.

By making smarter choices, you can learn to live within your means and start saving for the future.

You live in a unique time, with unique challenges. There is so much advertising and marketing almost everywhere you go. The world is screaming a lot of things, and most of them are not in agreement with what God is whispering to you. It is a challenge to live within your means.

Especially when you see so many others living way beyond their means and enjoying the fleeting pleasures of the moment.

Just because everyone else is doing it, does not make it right. The Bible makes it clear that being in debt is not God’s best for you.

God’s principles, regardless of how many follow them, should be your guide and not the principles of society.

There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.

Proverbs 21:20 KJV The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 KJV

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Rewind

24 REWIND / Summer 2014

Life Lessons Storm Proof

Rewind Marriage

by Sylvia Marion

I

t rained all weekend. The kind of chilling, hard rain that makes you run for cover. I had not moved my car since leaving work on Friday because it cut off several times when I was driving home. I felt very relaxed after a lazy, restful weekend and was planning to go to bed a little earlier than usual. After all, I would be back to work tomorrow. The weekend had gone by so quickly. The phone rang about 9:00 p.m. on Sunday. I was tempted not to answer it. I just wanted to go to bed and this call might be trouble. Against my better judgment, I answered the phone.

It was my friend, Ann, in need of a ride home. I knew I was having car trouble, but reluctantly agreed to pick her up.

Besides, I didn’t have very far to travel.

The car started right up — no hesitation. Great! By the time I dropped Ann off, it was 10:00 p.m. I stopped in briefly to make a call because in my haste, I left my cell phone home. The car started right up again — no problem.

To save time, I took a back road. I knew better.

My father always told me to avoid lonely roads, especially at night. His words rang loud and clear as I started down the dark, deserted road. I had been driving less than five minutes when the car started to cut off. I pressed the accelerator to the floor, but nothing happened. I drifted to the shoulder of the road. If only I had my phone. I never go anywhere without it. This wasn’t my most brilliant moment. I checked to see if all the doors were locked. To say I was afraid was an understatement. My mind started racing. What if there was some crazy person wandering about?

What would happen if I stayed in the car all night? I was too afraid to walk. This was a deserted road and the rain was pouring. I had not seen one car drive by.

What if someone side-swiped me as I sat

stranded in the car? What if the storm got even worse? What if my car wouldn’t start back up? What if I had to stay here all night? What if? What if? What if? I was trying not to panic, but it just wasn’t working. I felt so alone in this storm.

As I sat there trying to calm down and decide what to do, I thought of Proverbs 29:25, The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe. I repeated this verse over and over again. Slowly, the tension began to leave my body. I said to God, “You said I was safe and I trust you.” Then I started thanking Him for His protection and the peace, which was gradually replacing my fear. I could feel His presence all around me. No longer did I feel alone in the storm. Again, I tried to start the car, but nothing happened. This time I did not panic. I was not afraid. I just kept saying, “Lord, I trust you. I know I am safe.” I waited for a while and after about the fifth time trying, the car finally started. I made it home safely! Thank you, Jesus! The car had to be serviced the next day, but because of God I made it home safely.

Storms

Whether married or single, storms arise in all of our lives. A telephone call, an accident, a serious illness, death of loved ones, divorce, financial problems, trouble at home, trouble on your job, or problems and tensions that build into major storms.

I, too, have had my share of storms.

Some have been brief showers. Others seemed to last forever, arriving unexpectedly, like a tsunami. All was calm and peaceful and without warning, the storm appeared, leaving serious devastation and pain. There have been times when I had to say, “Lord, don’t you care?” However, the calm does

eventually return. The storms cease, leaving scars and wounds, but the sun shines again.

Storms create warriors

Warriors become heroes. Heroes receive honors. I call the scars and wounds my medals of honor. We’re wiser and stronger after we have weathered storms.

God never promised us a life free from storms, but He has promised to be with us in the midst of each storm and to bring us safely through if we believe in Him and rely on Him. Whatever you may be facing or experiencing right now in your life, I am encouraging you to go through it. Don’t give up. Your situation may be difficult, but it is not impossible.

You have survived storms before and you will survive this one.

You may have your own set of what ifs.

What if the storm doesn’t end? What if my family and friends can’t help me?

What if this storm is just too big for me? Well, my reply is — What if you do something different this time? What if you release it to God’s capable hands?

What if you trust that He will be with you through every storm? What if you trust that storms do cease and the sun will shine again? What if you believe?

Remember what His word says in Proverbs 29:25

“The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe?”

Sylvia Marion is a Toastmaster and freelance writer residing in Maryland.

25 REWIND / December 2013 25 REWIND / Spring 2015

Rewind Marriage

TIPS TO HELP YOU AVOID BEING A

Bridezilla

by Tamara Hundley

1

Be Nice

3

Planning a wedding can be stressful and even frustrating at times.

Remind yourself to remain calm and kind to those around you...expecially your future spouse.

2

26 REWIND / Spring 2015

Be Patient Don’t loose patience when it seems that things are not coming together. It will all work out... relax.

Delegate Don’t try to do everything yourself.

Trust your family and friends and let them help you.

4

Take some “me time” In the midst of planning for the wedding, pull away and take time to pamper yourself. Set break-away times in your schedule and keep them.

5

6

Organize

Make to TO-DO-LIST and follow it.

7

Remember the purpose

8 9

Rewind Marriage

Stay within your budget

You’re in love. This is your special day. You’re building a life with your spouse — a life that goes beyond the wedding day.

Weddings can be very expensive.

Set your budget based on what you and your spouse can afford and stick to it. Don’t go beyond your budget trying to impress others. Remember, you need to live comfortably after the wedding.

Make time for your spouse Too often brides get caught up in the excitement of planning their special day and forget that it includes their spouse. Make him a part of the planning process. Also, reserve time for the two of you to spend special moments together... time when you put the wedding planning to the side and focus on each other.

Show Appreciation Your family and friends are excited for you and your furture spouse.

As a result they will offer many ideas and suggestions. You may or may not choose to use their ideas, but always remain respectful and appreciative. Remember...they love you and are only trying to help.

10

Begin each day on a positive note Begin your day with morning devotions...prayer...and a cup of tea or coffee. The point is to start everyday by keeping God first and the rest will fall into place.

REWIND / Spring 2015 27

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33 REWIND / December 2013

“I DO” TOONS by Dominic Jordon

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REWIND MARRIAGE word search puzzle WAYS TO RELAX TOGETHER BOWLING DANCING DINNER EXERCISING KARAOKE MASSAGE MOVIE SHOPPING SINGING SKIING SWIMMING TALKING

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