Embrace Grace. WOTR 2007

...”and he who waters will himself be watered.”

- Proverbs 11:25

Embrace Grace

WOTR Women Of The Rock

“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth... For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.”

- John 1:14,16

- WOTRRock Community Church Ministry

Embrace Grace testimonies of His grace...

Psalm 139:14

“I will praise thee; for I am fear fully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

Hebrews 4:14-16

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may re ceive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

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Women Of The Rock

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for His glory...

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Embrace Grace k

This is our second year presenting these testimonies of the Women Of The Rock in the form of a booklet. Having the privilege of receiv ing and being able to read the submissions before they are entered into the booklet, it just seemed fitting to put Sonia’s testimony as the introduction to the book. Normally, we would have added it into the content in our best attempt at organizing everything in alphabetical order, but in this case, she is able to express how wonderful our Lord is, and how He can transform any life into something beautiful. Only the Lord can change wa ter into beautiful snowflakes. Thank you to the women brave enough to share their heartfelt testimonies this year so that others may be blessed. WOTR servants 2007

Sonia Sun-Yang Lee

Perfect As A Snowflake

As I was watching the snow falling the other night, I thought what a beautiful and bright sight it was to see, and wondered if God would see us Christians the same way from where He is.

The life of a snowflake begins with one tiny ice crystal in the atmosphere where it is tossed in the clouds up and down by upright currents. It is interesting that no two single snowflakes go through the same condition, resulting in every single one to have a different shape and size from another. We can expe rience that our lives are not so much different than that of a snowflake. We are also all unique and we are also tossed up and down in life sometimes that our sufferings and problems never seem to stop. Some may go through harder journeys, beat up and lose hope for peace to come and the turmoil to end . But Jesus tells us not to ever lose hope because God is in control of everything. If we only obey and trust what He has in store for us, we can see that no matter how hard our jour ney is, it is worth the taking. As Philippians 1:6 says,

“He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

One day in God’s own time, we will be released from our suf ferings and we will be transformed into something amazing.

Sure we may all turn out dif ferent from one another, but we will all be equally beau tiful and perfect in the sight of God. I encourage you to spend time watching the snow falling together with your family and see how we are meant to be here, like those snowflakes, to shine and light up this world that is falling into darkness. Like the snowflakes cannot shine on their own but need a light source to radiate light, our source of light is Jesus who radiates His own light to us so that we can all shine like Him. Yes, I think God would be very pleased and find us beautiful from where He is.

Merry Christmas to you all!

Anita Parsons-Ko

Matthew 5: 14-16

“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill can not be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

h

With Christmas fast approaching I thought that it would be a good time to re-introduce Olivia, my 2 year old daughter, to a couple of Christmas books that she had received the previous year. After reading the books that afternoon Olivia seemed to have a pretty good un derstanding about the meaning of Christmas. The next morning as Olivia was eating her breakfast she declared, “Mommy, we need some birthday cake soon.” Bewil dered I asked Olivia who the birthday cake was for. Un waveringly Olivia stated “For Jesus’ birthday.”

At that moment I was reminded of how impressionable my actions and words are on Olivia. Like a hawk, Ol ivia watches every move that I make and listens to every word that I say. Part of who she becomes will depend on what I do and say. What an awesome but very daunting role to serve. I have very big shoes to fill. I can only pray that God will supply me with the knowledge, wis dom, and insight to exemplify the kind of person that God calls us to be.

...”I was reminded of how impressionable my actions and words are”...

lDiana Shin

1 Peter 4:11

“ Whoever speaks is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

In this verse Paul speaks about serving God in the last days. Service in the church is something I decided I wanted to do more of and by God’s grace he has found a way to use my mediocre abilities to build up God’s family and by doing a work in me at the same time.

I don’t have a particular gift for teaching so I am an unlikely candidate to teach Sunday school. The last experience I had with teaching was when I was teaching English in Korea. The kids ran me down and fried my patience. Last year however, when God called me to serve by fulfilling a need in the church to be a teacher’s helper for Sunday school, I decided I would serve. Although teaching is not one of my strengths, I love kids. I knew that my gifts alone couldn’t do the work of the church but that other people’s gifts and abilities would make up for my deficiencies.

I started off helping out with the 2 and 3 year olds. They were so cute but it was challenging when they cried, fought, and didn’t listen. I was then moved to the toddler class which was much of the same but with less talking and more crying. The months went by and the thought of quitting teaching crossed my mind more and more. I felt like I was missing out on the sermons. I felt like I wasn’t growing spiritually and I blamed teaching for that. How selfish that thought was!

Sometimes just showing up is a large part of it. I decided to be committed and faithful in my service to the Lord by continu ing to serve and how his glory has been exemplified through the little children.

With each bible verse they are able to recite, with every song they sing, toy they share with a friend, and every hug they give me, I am so ful filled to see God’s love and grace exemplified through them. I love that I am help ing them learn about God in their very early years of life.

I don’t have any children of my own so I don’t know first-hand the experience of being a mother, but through teaching the children I know how it feels to be “motherly” and loving in that way. Jesus is teaching me to be faithful and loyal in my service and is showing me the wonderful and simple things revealed through the innocence of his little children and for that I am so grateful!

In these last days and until the very end, I want to be serving the Lord fervently.

“I decided to be committed and faithful in my service to the Lord”...

Benita Cho-Pak

Proverbs  3:13-14

“Do not hold back discipline from the child. Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.”

It was difficult to bring myself to spank my son for the first time but I knew that I had to discipline him. The other methods of discipline weren’t working in this particular situ ation. I was nervous and afraid that maybe it would really hurt or that he would hate me for it or even become more rebellious because of it. As I grabbed the wooden spoon from the kitchen I began to pray – Lord help me through this. Help us learn from this and give me courage to do this right…and please don’t let him see any wrong in this or hate me for it, or hate You. I don’t remember how old he was at the time… somewhere around the age of 1 and a 1/2, I think.

;;So, after giving him one more chance to redeem himself I told him that he was going to get a spanking despite the fact that I really didn’t want to do it. I don’t think he knew what a spank was as he cheerfully agreed to lie on my lap, but he was about to find out. I proceeded. My vision started to change and things looked like they were pulling further away from me. I thought I might black out. The first couple of spanks made him laugh and giggle as if it were a new game for him but by the third, he started to cry. I immediately wanted to comfort him and say - “I’m sorry!” But I was silent as he wrapped his arms tightly around me crying – “I’m sorry! I love you mommy!”

“I love you too” - I said, and quietly thanked the Lord. I re member being so relieved and surprised by his response.

h

“... I began to pray – Lord help me through this.”

never fails...”

lBenita Cho-Pak

The same sort of thing happened with my second child. Spanking my son didn’t make it easier to do to my little girl. What has happened though is that there are times when I abuse the Lord’s instruction and use it in the wrong way. Either to threaten a spank to get the desired action I want, or, because of my frustration and loss of temper. Giving warning is different from threatening. I must remember that when I discipline I must love:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

”Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous, love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails”…

I hope that my children don’t learn my ways but the Lord’s way. I have to continue to obey Him and trust His word for He is righteous and holy. I’m thankful for His word. He’s wise and loving and I need His counsel because I don’t know how to please Him without it. And I know He wants the best for us and our children. I realize that I never knew what was right or wrong until I met Him, until I studied His word.

As I continue, I go back to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. I re member His instructions and I will trust Him in His word and simply obey. And the times when I fail I will wrap my arms around my Lord and ask for His for giveness and tell Him that I love Him.

As I continue to discipline my children and reflect upon my actions and attitude towards them, I see my lack of trust in the Lord…how I’ve given in to their crying, how I’ve given into my frustration, impatience and temper.

“Love

Eileen Park

...”our most basic and important need is salvation.”

What Maslow Forgot to Include...

According to Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs”, every individual has an inner directed drive to be their best self, but more basic needs must be met before higher-level ones can become active. The Hierarchy of Needs is as follows (from basic to high):

1. Physiological needs (e.g. food and shelter)

2. Safety needs

3. Belonging and love needs

4. Esteem needs (e.g. academic achievement and respect)

5. Need for Self-Actualization (e.g. achieve fullest potential)

Someone who is at the highest stage, self-actualization, can be described as one who has reached a high level of moral development, is more concerned about the welfare of others than them selves, and is committed to a cause rather than working for fame or money. Mother Theresa and the Dalai Lama are examples of people who are considered to have achieved this, and they are revered all around the world.

I have the opportunity to interact with many great people who genuinely strive to reach this level of self-actualization. They are very passionate and influential, yet humble and altruistic. Needless to say, I learn so much from them and I am inspired by them on a day to day basis. At the same time, however, I am troubled when I remember that they are not believers, and that they have not realized that our most basic and important need is salvation. In fact, I often hit a brick wall when we have conversations regarding this. They seem to have difficulty understand ing that at the end of the day, it is not about “karma” or “the law of attraction” and despite of how much we great work we do, the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ. Paul said it so simply:

“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” - Romans 2:23

“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” - Romans 6:23

Isn’t it so comforting to know that regardless of what stage in Maslow’s hierarchy we are at when we die, we have the gift of eternal life with our Lord?

;

Hannah Kim

How God raised my marriage from the dead

Sung and I have been married now for almost 15 years, the past 8 of which have been the happiest in my life. I can honestly say that I love him more now than I ever have be fore…but things haven’t always been this way, far from it.

There was a time when I was so miserable in my marriage that I would fantasize about being a widow. As a Christian, I knew divorce was not an option, so I would daydream about what it would be like to live as a widow with my girls..and without Sung.

This was all happening around the time of our “7 year itch”. Have you ever heard of it? People say that you either get a divorce during the first three years, on your seventh year, or after your kids move out and go to college. The “7 year itch” is when you come to that point in your marriage where you were expecting that by NOW, things would have changed…or rather HE would have changed, but he hasn’t, and you realize that he may never change, and you feel hopeless.

The “7 year itch” in my marriage was the turning point for me and in our relationship. At the time, I didn’t realize it, but I too was holding on to unspoken expectations of my husband and our relationship in our marriage. I was hoping that by NOW, after 7 years, our marriage would be “better” as I had always imagined it to be. When I saw that nothing had changed in the past 7 years, I lost all hope and honestly had no more energy or will left in me to go on in our marriage. I allowed myself to listen to the devil’s lies, telling me that I deserved better, that I would be better off without him…that I could find a better guy who would really know how to treat me….so I marched right up to Sung and just told him that I had given up on us. He didn’t know what to say or how to respond so he just walked away…no begging me to change my mind, no willingness to change. If that’s how I was going to be, he was just going to let me get what I wanted.

At that moment, my stomach just dropped, like on a roller coaster ride.

I saw that I was heading towards a place I thought I wanted, (better without him) but realized that, that was not the true answer to bring ing me joy. Then the truth hit me. Who would love you? You are old, in your 30’s, with two kids. Who do you think you are? And for the first time, I saw that our mar riage, my husband, and his love for me was a gift from God. I couldn’t take that for granted. I repented right there not to take Sung’s love for granted and to see it as a gift from God and to cherish it. I also promised never to have thoughts of wanting to be alone again.

The Lord used John 11, the story of when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, to teach me two crucial lessons that I needed to learn to save my marriage. . One, God wanted me to surrender my expectations and timetable. Two, God couldn’t work in

“I was hoping that by NOW, after 7 years, our marriage would be “better” as I had always imagined it to be.”

Hannah Kim

my life until I was complete ly dead to myself. I had to deny myself and surrender to Him and that meant my marriage too.

John 11: 3 “Therefore the sis ters sent to Him, saying, “Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick.”

I’m sure Martha and Mary were expecting Jesus to come right away, to heal Lazarus from his sickness, just like I was expecting Jesus to come in those first seven years, and make Sung into the hus band that I expected.

John 11:6 “So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.”

When Jesus didn’t come right away, the two sisters must have still held onto some expectations that Jesus would come in those three days after Lazarus died. It was a common belief that even after death, your spir it hovered near the body for three days. In the early years in our marriage after I realized that my marriage wasn’t what I wanted it to be, I continued to hold on to

the hope that eventually my expectations would be met.

John 11:17 “So when Jesus came, He found that he had already been in the tomb four days.”

Jesus waited until Lazarus was dead for four days to come to Martha and Mary and to see Lazarus. In the same way, Jesus allowed Sung to walk away from me that day and show me that I had to completely let go of all my expectations of him.

Jesus was waiting for me to let go of all my expectations in my marriage and to be patient. I hadn’t even realized that I had my own expectations and desires. God had to wait on me until ALL my expectations and my own desires were dead and completely surrendered to God for Him to work in my life and in my marriage and most importantly in my heart. I would give God the yo-yo; surrendering but with strings attached. I would say that I surrendered, but still hold on to the hope of my expectations being met and on my time. God said, “No”, and waited until I was completely dead to myself and fully surrendered to Him.

vs. 14 Then Jesus said to them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. vs. 15 “And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that you may believe. Nevertheless let us go to him.”

It was only after Lazarus was dead that Jesus could resurrect him. It is only after you are completely dead to all your own expectations that God can resurrect your life and your mar riage.

Matt. 16:24 “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”

Gal. 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the [life] which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Him self for me.”

“I had to deny myself and surrender to Him and that meant my marriage too.”

Hannah Kim

It is the basic foundation of our faith. God wants us to deny ourselves, to die to ourselves and to live only for Him. God is the only one that can resurrect a life that was once dead. He can renew your

heart, restore your marriage and bring back what was once lost.

I remember sitting there, completely hopeless and scared in the base ment. I had nothing left in me. All I could do was to cry out to God for help, to change my heart and to renew my spirit and mind in Him. I had to deny myself all over again. I had to surrender my life and my marriage to God. And God answered my cry and restored my heart. It was as simple as looking at it from a different point of view, from God’s point of view. I heard him say, “Surrender all to Me and deny yourself.” He also reminded me that love and marriage is a gift, and to cherish it.

vs. 4 “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

I know that God had to bring me to this point to reveal my heart. I thank God now for all the heartache and pain of the early years and give Him glory because He literally raised my marriage back from the dead and renewed my heart and love.

Now we have been married for almost 15 years, and I must say that the last 8 years have been the best in our marriage and relationship.

I love Sung more today than the first day we wed. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments, when I fall and have to surrender all over again. That is the life of a Christian.

So ladies, for those going through something like “the 7 year itch”, don’t lose heart. Surrender your desires, expectations and deny your self completely to God and He will raise a godly, loving marriage. For those who haven’t gone through it yet, remember, cherish your hus band and his love and remember, your marriage is a gift from God. May our marriages give God glory and honor and may they be a good testimony to others. God bless.

“And God answered my cry and restored my heart.”

h Janette Lee

...”the more life seemed to prove me wrong, the more I felt the need to try and control it.”

Lately I find myself thinking about what it means to believe – not in an abstract theological way but what does it mean for me to believe today – to me personally? The more I reflect, the more one word seems to come to mind – for me, to believe today means to be brave.

Recently I had a “long-time-coming” girlfriend chat with BFF Soojin. She listened to me vent for hours, What does it all mean? I feel like I’m living life holding my breath…. I go to work, sit in front of a computer, fight traffic, go home, make dinner, try to scrap together a few hours of downtime only to start all over again in the morning. Life is sucking the life out of me. She endured all my clichés, let me be angry, let me cry and eventually made me laugh at the drama queen and crazy control freak that I was. A good friend, no?

One of the benefits of a good girlfriend chat is that some how through the laughs and tears you get a little clar ity and Sooj helped me realize something about myself. Somewhere between the carefree confident kid and the “grown up” I had become, I had become something else too – I was afraid. I had a job, but it wasn’t the life-fulfill ing thing that I thought it was going to be. I was mar ried to a husband I loved, but marriage was work - it wasn’t the “easy-peasy” relationship I thought it was go ing to be. And then there was life itself. By 30, I had seen enough unexpected loss through the passing of loved ones, house fires and car accidents to be shaken into a be lief that no matter how much you plan, you can’t control or anticipate what will happen in life. But that didn’t

stop me from trying. In fact the more life seemed to prove me wrong, the more I felt the need to try and control it.

So the question remained, what does it mean to believe? Where was my – here’s the big word – faith? After much thought I must admit that this is where I am in my spiritual walk today, in a state of flux between fear and faith. It’s nothing to write home to Mom about but it’s real. In my heart I know that knowing God means opening yourself up, giving yourself up to the unknown – to the count less number of ways God can and will work in your life. God is a God of the impossible and my carnal self is scared by the ominous unknown but my re born self clings to the idea of possibility and hopes. I recognize that this is part of the dying to self process. I real ize that God is breaking down my ill-conceived notions of happiness and self reliance and

...”having faith means to embrace change; to not let life cower (you) into a corner.”

He is doing so not to control me but to free me …but I have to admit I find it difficult to let go.

I’m puzzled by people who think Christianity is a crutch for the weak. I think to be living the abundant life takes bravery – not the human kind, that’s just a shadow of the real stuff. Christian bravery is the epic kind – wrapped up in what we call faith. For me today, having faith means to embrace change; to not let life cower me into a corner. For me today bravery means to believe moment by moment, circumstance by circumstance, that I do not need to know what tomorrow holds but only that I need to know Him.

I wish I could have a more victorious testimony for you La dies but I haven’t quite figured it out yet but I’m closer to day than I was last year. So for today this is my profession of faith; through the doubts, anxiety and fear, despite the doubts, anxiety and fear I want to be with Him. He is all I need.

Janette Lee ;;;

Romans 8:   5

“For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.”

; Jean Chang

Hebrews 11:6

“And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”

What is the scariest decision that you have ever made by faith? Have you ever thrown yourself out there and put everything on the line for the Lord?

Probably one of the scariest faith choices I ever made was when I decided not to go back to work when my maternity leave was over and to start a business with Euge from home instead. Josh was born when Abbie was only fourteen months old, so we had been liv ing off of single income since Abbie was born and financially things were already tight.

Eugene and I had always said that I would stay home when we de cided to have kids…but we didn’t expect that we would be having kids so soon after we got married. (Abbie was a honeymoon sur prise!) When the reality of monthly expenses and unpayable credit card bills started piling up, we felt the temptation to “rationalize away” our original convictions and just have me go back to work. Nevertheless, the Lord wouldn’t make it easy. At the time, as a young baby, Josh was suffering from severe eczema, asthma, and food allergies, making even the possibility of sending him to daycare a non-option.

Eugene , being the entrepreneur-at-heart that he is, suggested that we start a business from home instead. He said that he would set it up so that eventually I could run most of it myself. He wanted to pursue this idea that he had had years earlier to create customized

“Was my faith choice a mistake?”

Jean Chang

children’s books, using caricatures of people’s faces. At the time, though, it was only an idea and he did not have a concrete business plan of exactly how the books would look, how we would market them, or who would be our suppliers.

On top of that, we had no money, so starting the business would mean taking a high-interest loan from the bank. Instead of saving money and getting out of debt, the plan was to get chinhigh in more debt! I was shaking in my pants! Having grown up with parents who always had financial difficulties, this idea was even harder for me to swallow. The last thing I wanted was to be in the same boat.

Eugene left it up to me. He knew I was already a worry wart and didn’t want to even begin to pursue this business idea if I wasn’t going to be on board 100%. He warned me that making money from a business would take time and that I would have to be patient. I remember sitting in the car on the way to the bank, just freaking out inside, thinking, “Can I handle this? Am I go ing to be able to handle this pressure of more debt?”

“But my righteous one shall live by faith; and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” - Hebrew 10:38

What it boiled down to, was that I knew God wanted to me to make my choice by faith. If I went back to work, it would have been the easy way out and it wouldn’t have required any faith at all. The business, on the other hand, would be opening up the opportunity for God to provide a way for me to stay home and raise the kids. So we took the plunge…we drove to the bank, took out a loan and away we went…

The next 2 years would prove to be among the most stressful of my life! Like any business, the first year was all about spending; spending time and money on equipment, supplies, and just living expenses to make ends meet. When we finally came up with a marketable product, Eugene start ed going to door-to-door in our neighbourhood to see what the consumer response would be to our product. We ended up coming up with a grand total of 15 sales for the year! I was devastated. After 2 years, our bank loan was just about dried up, our credit limits were bursting at the seams,

“Lord, didn’t you say you would provide for all of our needs?”

Jean Chang

and I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown!

Had God failed me? I kept asking Him, “Lord, didn’t you say you would provide for all of our needs? Don’t you remember that I made the faith choice for you?” and then came that fearful question deep down in my heart, “Was that faith choice to start the business a MIS TAKE????”

What a fool I was to allow all my doubts and fears to consume me like that. There

I was, thinking I had made this grand “faith choice” for God, but I couldn’t go a day in those 2 years without ex periencing anxious thoughts and nervousness, staring at the numbers on paper and freaking out inside. There was no genuine trust, no genuine faith.

But God is so gracious and merciful. Two years after we started our business, just

when our funds were about to dry up, we got our first big break in the business. The local Police Department bought several thousand copies of a custom book that we had been designing for them. Then a year later, one of our customers who had bought one of our books off of ebay, e-mailed us to tell us that she was the editor-in-chief of a Baby Magazine in the United States, and she wanted to feature our product in her magazine! For the first time in 3 years we started getting online orders from all across the United States from New York and Florida, as far as Hawaii and Alaska…and even one from Paris, France!

I was humbled…I needed to repent of my faithlessness and doubt. God had come through for us when we needed Him the most…so you think that by then, I would learn to trust Him, right? Well, foolish as I am, when sales started to decline a year later and a trade show that we attended didn’t produce the sales volume I had expected, instead of resting patiently on the Lord and His perfect timing, I found myself worrying all over again. What’s worse, is that my worry affected everyone around me. I became impatient and mean towards the kids, and I lashed out at Eugene and blamed him for everything. (poor guy!) The stress I put on our marriage due to my worry ing became so severe that we came to the point of wondering if our marriage would be able to survive. Once again, I heard that fearful question deep down inside, “Was that faith choice to start the business a MISTAKE???”

But God in his mercy, got a hold of me and opened my eyes to my foolishness. He said, “Jean, stop looking at the numbers on paper and start looking around you! Have I not provided for all of your needs? Have you not been able to stay home

“But God in his mercy, got a hold of me and opened my eyes to my foolishness.”

and raise your kids these past 6 years? Do you not have food on your table and a roof over your head? Have I not evolved the business into something that you are able to operate from home, just like you always wanted?” And once again I need ed to repent. There I was, staring at the numbers, demanding that God do things in my timing and in my way; but God in his infinite wisdom and mercy, did everything in His better timing and in His better way. Through the waiting and test ing of my faith, He showed me these last several years, what the true state of my heart really was, and how I had no clue what it really meant to “live by faith.” If God had given me everything I wanted right away, I would have walked around arrogantly thinking that “living by faith” meant getting ev erything that I want for myself, just because I asked Him for it…like a spoiled brat.

Now whenever I think about our business, I am filled with so much joy and gratitude…not because God has blessed it and allowed us to enjoy some measure of success in it, but because of what He has taught me about Himself and myself through it. It doesn’t matter to me anymore whether or not the business succeeds, because I was finally able to give it to Him with no strings attached. He can do what He wants with it, but the important thing is that I know now that He is trustworthy and will always provide for all of my needs…in His time and in His way.

“And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:19

Jean Chang

There was a time in this sea son of testing when I read this verse and I shook my fist at God and said, “You’re wrong! You lied to me. You haven’t supplied my needs.”

But He wasn’t wrong, I was wrong. He didn’t lie, I did, when I said that I trusted Him. Now, because of what He brought me through, I do trust Him and I know that He would never lie. And I finally have an answer to that ques tion that’s been haunting me all these years… “Was that faith choice a MISTAKE?”

The answer is a resound ing NO! I see now that no decision made by faith is ever a mistake.

My hope and prayer is that we will all continue to make faith choices in our lives with confidence and assur ance that He is “a rewarder of those who seek Him.” Amen.

l“I was finally able to give it to Him with no strings attached.”

Jen Kim

The events leading up to the birth of our sec ond son Jonathan Boaz were nothing less than a “gift from God…in His strength.”

It was the beginning of July. I was just relieved to be done work and looking forward to some time with Josiah before the baby came. So much was happening. Opening service was around the corner, my mother-inlaw was getting ready to move out, I was tutoring a couple of times a week, and I hadn’t even thought about preparing the baby’s room or clothes or anything re ally. I received word from Rosan that soccer camp was good to go at the end of July. Looking at the calendar, I thought, “You know, with our Sunday school being as big as it is, there is no reason we can’t do a Vacation Bible

School at the same time.” I put an announcement in the jubo that anyone interested in soccer camp or VBS could sign up at the back of the sanctuary. Three people signed up…Hmmm, I thought. No one is really interested. Doubts and negative thoughts were flooding my mind. Who will help? What do I know about Vacation Bible School anyway? People are too busy right now since opening service is coming up. There’s so much to be done before the baby comes. Then a week later, when I met with Michelle for our bi-weekly small group, one verse just popped out at me and I knew God was speaking directly to me: “…if this plan or action is of men it will be overthrown; but if it is of God you will not be able to overthrow them; or else you may even be found fighting against God.” – Acts 6:38-39. This verse was in reference to the early disciples in their quest to spread the gospel. To me, though, God was telling me directly to go ahead and plan and if it is His will, it will succeed.

How beautiful it is when God takes over and a few of His people trust in Him. Cost, food, crafts, worship, soccer, cur riculum…everything came together because God brought it together: COST: I had a budget of $250 for food plus $20 per family for the camp. Not knowing how many kids would end up coming, I counted about 50 kids if ALL the kids in Sunday School came and brought friends. I ordered craft supplies accordingly. We had children ranging from 2 to 12, and the variety of crafts and materials had to match. Also, we were feeding the children and their parents lunch every day so

“Doubts and negative thoughts were flooding my mind. Who will help?”

“God multiplied our fish and bread indeed!”

Jen Kim

we had to factor all of that into our cost. I gave Hannah the meager budget of $250 for the week to feed approximately 65- 70 people a day for five and when she went out to get the groceries, the bill came out to $245! The crafts we ordered were just enough. On the days when we needed less, fewer kids came. On the days we needed more, we had extras. At the end of five days, after ordering over 200 crafts, only 5 were leftover. Amazing! And the cost? The money that came in paid for it…exactly!

FOOD: For less than a dollar a day per person, Hannah and Jean planned the food menu. Children and parents ate yummy, healthy food including hotdogs, sandwiches and even spaghetti and meat balls! We even had leftovers. God multiplied our fish and bread in deed! Even the rain held off for the whole week so we were able to have a picnic outside everyday.

CRAFTS: Not only did the cost and numbers work out perfectly for the crafts, but Michelle pre-made all of them to look for flaws in packaging and/or design. She separated, cut, glued, pre-made and changed the design for all the crafts ahead of time so that we could be sure that they would be doable for the kids. They were indeed doable and the children all enjoyed making them. Thank God for Michelle’s foresight and craftiness!

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WORSHIP: For worship, Benita and I met and prayed over what songs to teach and she prepared actions to go with them. Those who were there saw the Spirit move among the children as we learned these new songs and worshiped together! I was moved to tears when I saw children raising their hands and worshiping God from their hearts!

Jen Kim

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SOCCER: As usual, the soccer camp was awesome! Rosan taught the children both skills and sportsmanship and the children improved and enjoyed themselves immensely. Daniel, Albert and John all helped too. The week culminated with the giving of medals and trophies to children for displaying excellence in various skills. Children and par ents were blessed...and it didn’t rain even though the forecast called for rain on two of the five days.

CURRICULUM: The curriculum was a simple step by step presenta tion of the gospel using a “Treasure Chest” theme. Every “little item” including the colored plastic gems I found at the dollar store were used. Even the colors Miriam used to decorate the treasure box matched perfectly with my visuals, which she didn’t see until after she made the box. The best part about this curriculum was that children from the neighborhood and friends of church members came and heard the gospel for the first time. Only God knows if the little seeds planted will one day sprout. I praise Him for His Word, which exclaimed the Gospel to the children and for bringing all the ideas, materials and resources we needed together in only the way He could.

It would be enough to simply end my testimony here and exclaim isn’t God AWESOME??? I didn’t even mention the craziness in the lives of all the people who were involved. Hannah and Jean were hosting out of town guests, Benita had a sick child, Michelle’s hus band had to drive home earlier after night shift so she could take the car. In short, everyone had an excuse not to be there, but they were still there doing their part. How amazing it is to see what God will do when His people act in faith.

...”children from the neighborhood... heard the gospel for the first time...”

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Jen Kim

But the story doesn’t end here for me. I was a week away from my due date and I was having sharp pains and cramps that came and went. I asked some people to pray for me, that I wouldn’t have the baby early, because frankly, I didn’t really have a “plan B” in case I went into labor. Well, I made it through the week of Soccer Camp, and even to opening service that Sunday and God knew I needed to be there. Pas tor Sung’s sermon on “Faith verses Fear” ministered to me as I headed into labor the following day. With each contraction, I was reminded that I didn’t need to be afraid of the pain. Jesus was with me and He was helping me. He had revealed to me through the Soccer camp that He was taking care of the needs of all His children including me. I had a sense of peace in the midst of the most painful contractions. The tim ing of our son’s birth was perfect.

Jay and I reflected and prayed for a week over all the events leading up to the birth of our son before we finally named him. Our son was a gift. His birth was a gift. The details of the delivery were a gift. No one could ask for a more beautiful moment. I didn’t have a single needle or cord attached to me this time and no complications. I even got to pull him out myself! And it was all done in His strength – the praying, the planning, the organizing, the teaching…and finally, the pushing!

Everything was done truly in His strength.

How suitable it was when we named our son Jonathan Boaz, meaning “a gift from God” (Jonathan)… “in His strength” (Boaz).

...”He was taking care of the needs of all His children including me.”

Judy Kim

Revelations 3:7-8

“

‘He who opens and no one shuts, and shuts and no one opens I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept my Word and have not denied My name’

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Iwas 32 weeks pregnant. One night (actually, it was my birthday) I was experiencing chest pains and had difficulty breathing so I contacted the hospital and they recommended

I get checked out as a precaution. I was in the hospital for about 4 days and underwent several tests. Some tests indi cated slight abnormalities but no test result could definitively conclude a firm diagnosis of any sort. I was sent home. While at home that weekend, I lost 8 lbs, had an insatiable thirst, was lethargic and dizzy. Eddie urged me to call the hospital again. I was reluctant because I had just been discharged but I called. That night, I ended up admitted yet again. This time

I was diagnosed with a rare form of type 1 diabetes. More ac curately, I am type 1B. It is so rare, I am the 9th reported case internationally and am a case study for my doctor.

I was in such a bad state upon admission that the doctors told me I was lucky to have come in and be treated when I did. If I had waited any longer I would have been in a coma and lost my baby. My doctor told me that I would be hos pitalized for several weeks and that I would no longer be working for the remainder of my pregnancy because my life would be drastically changing to accommodate my diabetes. She told me I would be closely followed by herself (OB-Gyn), an endocrinologist, diabetes educator and dietician weekly.

I would also be getting weekly ultrasounds to monitor our baby. At the time, I didn’t quite understand why it was so intense. I did not understand the weight of what she was tell

”I did not understand the weight of what she was tellin me.”

ing me. Soon enough, I found out how hard it was to be pregnant and slapped with a life-altering diagnosis.

I was put on a strict, timed diet: I checked my blood sugar via pin prick at a minimum of 8 times a day, injected insulin 7 times a day, had a pre-deter mined and measured out amount of carbohydrate for every meal and snack per day and had to wear a timer to re mind me to check my blood sugars at specific times. If I took an extra BITE of a carbohydrate, it would make my blood sugars shoot up. I had to be extremely disciplined to make sure my body was safe to carry our baby for the remain der of my pregnancy. Although I was compliant, it was far from perfect. The body becomes less sensitive to insulin as the pregnancy progresses. So what made a good balance one week would not work the next. There were times my blood sugars were so low, I could barely stand, I was shaking, sweating and suddenly very sleepy.

You’d think that this was enough but no. On top of this, I had a urinary tract infection and burned my leg with hot glue which wouldn’t heal (because of diabetes) and this became a bad in

Judy Kim

fection. I constantly thought of my baby inside wondering if she felt my stress and overwhelm ing sadness, wondering if she was okay despite me and my body.

I began to ask myself why? Why was this hap pening? I wracked my brain asking what had I done? Was it a wrong attitude I had let go on for too long? Everything was going so well. I imaged a normal pregnancy, a healthy baby. I assumed I would be healthy in my life for a long time. I spent many days busy with the schedule and nights just crying, exhausted.

Though I was going through this, something in side of me refused to turn against God in anger. My usual pattern in the past when life gave me trouble is: anger then pulling away from God, then sadness and guilt, then I’d humble myself and draw closer to God then things would be good, then I’d become complacent, then I’d hit another challenge and the cycle would begin again. This time I refused to let the devil take a foothold. I wanted to break from this stupid pat tern. I remembered all that God has done for me in the past, all the blessings of my life. I clung to those and chose to believe in God’s goodness and that He loves me. How could I accept the good and not the bad?

Though this time was the most difficult of my life, God turned something ugly and made my

“God turned something ugly and made my life so beautiful.”

Judy Kim

life so beautiful. He showed me His love for me through other people.

I have a husband who was literally by my side every day. He refused to leave me for a moment. Sleeping on a chair nightly, he never complained. He learned everything to know about diabetes along with me. I pretended to understand when the doctors and nurs es educated me about insulin and all the details sur rounding balancing blood sugars. Later, when I had more energy, I would ask Eddie to re-explain it all to me and patiently he would repeat himself as many times as it took. He fielded all the phone calls, fol lowed up with the nurses and doctors about every detail I would never have remembered. As many of these amazing things that he did, the most important of all was he consistently spent time in prayer with me, encouraging me with God’s Truth, which helped push out the discouraging lies that would slip into my mind.

God gave me family and friends who prayed for me diligently and had others pray for me. When Eddie returned to work, one of our parents was always with me at home or at my appointments. Rich and Tammy were there to listen, spend time with us, and helped us with so many things we couldn’t do ourselves and because of that help, we were able to prepare for Claire and re-focus on something positive.

God sent me a diabetes nurse educator who was ab solutely amazing. She and I spoke at least 3 times a

week helping me balance my blood sugars, answering all my questions. She was a strong advocate for me, never let anything get by her…she was genuine, caring and went above and beyond all the time.

God sent me an angel of a nurse who was my one on one nurse the day I was admitted. She also volunteered to be my nurse the day I was to be induced and saved the biggest and best private room for us. That night we also found out she is a believer herself. God made that delivery day all the more calming and special as we shared our lives with one anoth er.

Finally, God protected our daughter. She was born perfectly healthy and absolutely beautiful. The doctors tell me I’m very lucky she is here today. I can not imagine our lives without her. I know she is here because of God and God alone.

Yes, I am still diabetic and yes I struggle with it from time to time. Things may or may not change but I am alright with either way because I know I am in His Will.

...”the most important of all was to consistently spend time in prayer”...

Michelle To

Jeremiah  9:11

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

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The Lord taught me some big lessons this year, about having faith in Him and His timing. When I read this verse, it reminds me that no matter what is going on in my life, even if it is something really bad, I need to trust God that He knows what’s best for me.

This year I came to really understand that He is the controller of my life, not me. And that it does not matter what I want, but instead to seek out what He wants.

I am so thankful for the les sons He taught me this year.

Even though some were hard and painful, I know that He acted out of love and for my well-being.

Tammy Kim

Ephesians 4:31-3 

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Thhe more I learn about the ways of the Lord, and the more I try to apply it to my life, the more I realize how opposite His Word is to my nature. Not too long ago I read a devotional about a woman who said she was wired with firecrackers in her blood, and I can definitely relate. After 10 years of marriage, one thing my husband has learned is how to really push my buttons! And when we began dating, those firecrackers that used to beat in my heart, now boil in my blood.

They say familiarity breeds contempt. But one thing I have never felt from my husband was a lack of love. And for the first time in over 10 years, I actually thought the love was lost. But I’ve realized that within those 10 or more years together, our love for each other has evolved beyond feelings. In other words, those feelings that carried us for 10 years is now going to take work to maintain.

Gary Smalley said it best - Love is a decision. And that is precisely the kind of thing the Lord was telling me to do - not to rely on my feelings anymore, but on His grace. And that grace involved a huge sacrifice that has changed my life forever. But has it? I had to really ask myself that very question and I came to the conclu sion that I have fallen way short. And I’m not talking about falling

l“... that grace involved a huge sacrifice that has changed my life forever. But has it?”

Tammy Kim

short of earning that grace, but I’ve fallen short of appreciating that grace. And there is nothing worse or more unattractive than an ungrateful heart.

This year, I have realized that I was taking so many things for granted. Thankfully, the Lord taught me a valuable lesson. Not only was I taking my husband for granted, but I was taking the Lord’s grace for granted. I was acting as if I had the right to hold onto things that hurt me or I felt I had the right to be angry about. But when I was reminded of how the Lord died for my sins and how I don’t deserve any portion of the life He has blessed me with, I realized I was so wrong. And in my shame, I was humbled and sought His generous forgiveness. “And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” And my sentiments ring true with Paul who wrote that ..”Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Rich and I are both far from perfect. But I love him, and I love the Lord with all my heart. The road ahead of us may suddenly be all uphill, but just like the Psalmist wrote...

Psalm 1  1:1- 

“I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth.”

Amen.

“...there is nothing worse or more unattractive than an ungrateful heart.”

Tina Kim

Isaiah 40:8

“God always pulls through”

I;love writing the Word for Todays. Although they are pri marily aimed to minister to others, I have to assert that writing them has blessed and encouraged me more than I could have imagined. It has revealed to me more than ever that the Word of God is truly in exhaustible. I could visit the same passage multiple times and glean yet another insight and truth that I never thought of before. The su perabundant wealth of God’s Word is the reason why I can write these little devotions for five years – and still keep at it! To me, that’s a miracle! I never thought I would continue this long. Sitting at the computer and opening my Bible has opened up a world of divine spiritual feasts and enlightening truths that have delighted my soul and refreshed my heart.

This little ministry that appears small and ordinary has come with scores of exciting twists and turns because the Lord has worked dif ferently each time. Sometimes He gives me insights right away so I know exactly what I’m going to write. Other times, I pull my hair out in a panic because of writers block but in the end, God always pulls through. He also places thoughts and ideas in my head that I mull over for weeks before I feel led to write them. And still other times, the timing is a big part of it. There are things I want to write down right away, but I sense the Lord is not releasing me to write them yet because the timing isn’t right.

Another blessing God has opened up is that the Word for Today’s have also led to other relationships with people I didn’t really know very well before. I didn’t expect this ministry to be such a terrific way to get to know someone. Sometimes people will respond to my Word for Today’s and right then and there a friendship can be estab lished. What begins as a short email of thanks can turn into a colorful time of sharing and fellowship. I’ve found prayer partners through this ministry. I have shared in the hurts and struggles of others. At one time, a dinner invitation was even made, one that Thomas and I thoroughly enjoyed as we got to know the couple better.

“The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.”

The Word for Today ministry has also blessed me spiritually. I’m always reminded that spending time in the Word and prayer is the old secret to an abundant life. There really is no other answer to that elusive question the world has pondered over for many years. Whenever I feel dry and parched, and not really inclined to seek the Lord, this ministry has really held me accountable. The responsibility of sharing God’s truth twice a week has saved me at times from going in a downward spiral. As I turn to that relevant passage of Scripture, I get humbled once again by the life convicting truths God has written to us. Thus, it turns my gloom into joy. The Word feeds and nourishes your spirit like no other. It’s a refreshing stream of water to a thirsty soul. And this ministry does not permit me to write just anything or carelessly throw things out there. It requires me to think about each passage and prayerfully ask the Lord to speak. And this is what makes the Word come alive. But it’s not always easy. It’s still a learning process for me to convey His truth effectively. I have written some pretty terrible Word for Today’s, (ones that I cringe over whenever I read them again), and yet by God’s grace, He has covered every mistake. He has been gracious over every struggle and failure. And through this process I’ve come to know the amazing patience of our Father.

The funny thing is, I didn’t even want to join this ministry at first. In fact, I’m ashamed and embarrassed to admit that all the ministries I’m involved in at the Rock were never out of my own volition – someone always pushed me forward. How sad is that? Wotr, Broken Bread, Word for Today – I still have no idea why I was called into leadership and I recall resisting it so much at first. But it only goes to show how ignorant I was. Because these ministries have each blessed me so richly and if I never got involved in anything, I would have sadly missed out on some amazing things the Lord has done. I never would have gotten to know others on a personal level. My spiritual life would have dried up as well. What I’ve learned about ministry is that it’s not so much about you trying to learn something.

Tina Kim

Rather it’s about what God wants to do and give to His people. And that inevita bly adds a new dimension to your spiritual growth as you witness and stand amazed at the work of God through ministry. It’s such an integral part of the Chris tian life. And out of all the ministries, the Word for To day’s holds a special place in my heart simply because it involves the Word of God directly.

So I’m thankful to the Lord who desires to give what is best to His children. And that “best” can come through sharing and pour ing ourselves out in our ser vice to Him, no matter how small or how great. I consid er it a privilege to be able to write and tell people about God through His Word. He is still teaching me new things every week.

What riches and what pro found wisdom come from this Book that our heavenly Father wrote for His chil dren!

...”spending time in the Word and prayer is the old secret to an abundant life.”

Embrace Grace Women Of The Rock

If you are interested in joining a women’s small group, or would like to be added to the Rock Church Word for Today email mail ing list, please contact any one of us:

Janette Lee janette.lee@rogers.com

Tammy Kim tammykim@rogers.com

Tina Kim tinachoe1031@gmail.com

WOTR Events Canlendar: http://ical.mac.com/tammy_kim/ WOTR

Rock Community Church: http://www.rockcommunity.org

Blogspot: http://rockcommunitychurch. blogspot.com

God bless you

- WOTRRock Community Church Ministry