DARE Magazine Issue #4 February 2012

dare give yourself the world ™

FEBUARY 2012

DR STEPHEN R COVEY

Unveiling the 3rd Alternative

THE SECRET

BEFORE THE SECRET

Unlock the Champion Mindset

REKINDLING THE LOST ART OF CONVERSATION

NEW LEADERSHIP MOVEMENT

Magnetic Force of Social Media

Narcissism vs Activism How Entrepreneurship Saved Her Life FEBRUARY 2012

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dare (dâr) v. be courageous enough to try; challenge to do something requiring boldness; to venture to do or undertake; not be afraid; taking risks

n. an act of daring; challenge [Latin: be bold; Greek: to give; a gift; to offer]

give yourself the world

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contents |

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dare welcome

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dare to speak

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who’s behind dare

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dare book shelf

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dare featured author

dare legacy

Wallace D. Wattles The Secret Before The Secret

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dare feature

Dr Stephen R. Covey Solving Life’s Most Difficult Problems

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How Building A Profitable Business Saved My Life & Healed My Soul With Sheri McConnell 26

dare challenge

The Lost Art of Conversation With Tania Usher

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dare opinion

Magnetic Force of Social Media Narcissism vs Activism With Tierri Abraham

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dare you

Creating Your Champion Mindset With Shelley Taylor-Smith

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Power Up Your Mental Strength With Tania Usher

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dare business

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Expand Your Leadership Aprille Trupiano

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dare change

Change You Can Be Part Of ™ With Rick Beneteau

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dare finance

7 Investment Opportunities for 2012 With Jeremy Britton

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dare give yourself the world ™

Founder and Editor-In-Chief Tania Usher Executive Editor Dana Strong Research Editor Jordan Taylor Online Content Editor Saskia Blum Cerneaz Social Media Editor Jess Taylor Creative Director Tristan Baliuag Financial Director Steve Vooles Director of Partnering Ashley Baker Sponsorship@DareOutLoud.com Feature Writer Dana Strong Word Master www.StrongIdeas.com.au Contributing Writers

Aprille Trupiano Get Click Now www.GetClickNow.com

Jeremy Britton Author of “Who’s Taking Your Money?” www.24HourWealthCoach.com

Sheri McConnell Smart Women's Institute www.SheriMcconnell.com

Tierri Abraham Freelance Writer tierri@onthenet.com.au

Cover Image Sheri McConnell www.SheriMcconnel.com Published by

PO Box 1809 • Kingscliff NSW 2487 • Australia Email: editor@DareOutLoud.com Web: www.DareOutLoud.com Editorial Submissions

Do you have a bold business strategy, courageous story, intrepid adventure or wellbeing solution you’d like to share with dare readers?

Then we’d love to hear from you. Submissions should speak directly to our readers who are daring, heart-centred entrepreneurs challenging out-dated conventions to join a movement which ignites change in the world.

Copyright © 2011Tania Usher International

All artwork, design and content of dare are the property of Tania Usher International and must not be duplicated or copied without written permission. Submit queries to editor@DareOutLoud.com.

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dare to join us?

Become an Exclusive Sponsorship Partner

With a global distribution of 100,000 it’s an exciting time to join the dare community.

If you believe your business is a good fit for dare we would be delighted to support you with sharing your gifts with the world.

Connect with Director of Partnering, Ashley Baker at sponsorship@DareOutLoud.com for full details.

dare welcome

S

econd month of the year, and I’m almost bursting out of my skin with renewed vitality and energy. Throughout the January raw dare challenge, many people commented that they could actually see the difference in me. Not only do I feel fantastic, I’ve learnt so much more about myself, my body, nutrition, food flavours and healthy wellbeing as I explored the adventurous possibilities of raw living. My experience won’t end with last month’s edition; raw will be an ongoing feature of my life.

February is bustling with energy; kids started back at school; moving interstate; de-cluttering, and forging ahead with a crystal clear direction of where I’m heading for 2012 and beyond.

This month, I ponder the question of whether technology and social media has rendered the ‘Art of Conversation’ redundant. So, throughout February, I’ll be personally calling 290 people; that’s an average of 10 calls every single day. I’m committed to upping the stakes of connection - emails, SMS and status updates (while fun and informative) just don’t constitute true communication. Let’s pick up the phone and start speaking with each other.

Join me...commit to logging off (after you’ve read this issue of course), and make at least three calls. Let's work together to bring back the ‘Art of Conversation’. ...I dare you

PS: Click here to ‘like’ our Facebook page throughout February and receive a special gift valued at $297.

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Tania

discover a world of limitless possibility embrace life’s daring adventures connect with entrepreneurs igniting change dare to join us SUBSCRIBE NOW www.DareOutLoud.com FEBRUARY 2012

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dare who’s behind

OFTEN TOUTED as the “Queen of Connection”, Tania Usher is internationally renowned for her daring philosophies for uncovering an authentic success mindset.

The tenacious Tania believes the only thing stopping people from reaching the success they crave, is their own self-doubt.

“Entrepreneurship is one of the most powerful self-development journeys on which anyone can embark. When dare was born you couple a success mindset from Tania’s with powerful masterminding, insightful mentoring and taking vision to unite action…amazing things happen, heart-centred even when at times the hurdles entrepreneurs seem impossible to leap.”

around the world with bold and enterprising entrepreneurs making a difference…while having lots of fun. “Boring is out”, is Tania’s motto.

Tania understands this first hand.

After years of living and working abroad, winning numerous international awards and building a successful executive career, Tania tamed her wandering soul and returned to Australia in 1999 to start a family. Within 5 years of leaving the jet-setting corporate world, Tania buried her baby boy, gave birth to two healthy daughters, became the sole provider for her family, experienced escalating credit card debt and was served home repossession papers.

An unstinting faith in her own ability, coupled with a hefty dose of courage, propelled Tania 10

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to take a huge leap towards entrepreneurship. Her creative communication ideas have led to over $5 million in media coverage for both herself and her clients.

Featured regularly in the media, including recent appearances on the Today Show, Tania believes that nurturing relationships and making soulful connections is the key to success in all areas of life.

Thousands of people follow Tania online, and her events have touched the lives of over 100,000 people from a variety of industries and nations.

Tania’s authentic, heart-centred approach to communication and connection will continue to empower entrepreneurs around the world to take big leaps that will lead to the positive transformation in the lives of millions of people worldwide.

Seven seconds. That’s all

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dare to speak

dare encourages all entreprenerus to find their authentic voice and to speak without censorship. Each of us has something valuable to share, yet we all have different ways of expressing our stories, personal journeys, challenges and triumphs. Some tales are raw and juicy while others are coordinated and conservative…some are controversial. It’s this diversity which makes life rich.

KEEP GOING, EVEN WHEN WEARY. “You never know what the outcome of investing your time, money, heart and self esteem will be when you start a project, yet the only failure is giving up on yourself. Despite the many challenges of bringing our patents to life, Dyna and I never gave up on our dreams. In the beginning, seduced by our own creative tendencies, each of us experienced the lonely and expensive journey of transferring an idea into a patent. After much early marketing euphoria, both our concepts found a home collecting dust on shelves. Despite this distressing start, we joined forces, and with support, resilience and the right team, we brought Adoorabear to life. As weary travelers, we gave each other hope, and united, we injected enthusiasm, fun and renewed passion into our business. So, while we are focused on our goals, we understand how important it is to pause in the busy-ness of the journey to appreciate the gift of friendship, growth and learning. This defines us more than any sales success we may dream of. No matter the obstacles on your journey, keep your dreams alive.

- Leonie Wheeler, www.adoorabear.com

speak up…we’re listening

dare to be in the spotlight? We’d love to hear your stories, ideas, philosophies and may be edited for clarity and design purposes. Please state if your submission is n 12

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dare to speak WHAT ARE YOUR DREAMS TELLING YOU? Have you been told that dreams are just a rehashing or reworking of your day and its concerns? Do you believe that dreams, like our creativity, are just a figment of our imagination? I strongly disagree. In fact, from my own experience of more than 20 years studying and working with my dreams, and from twelve years of teaching and coaching people to use their dreams to enhance their creativity and their lives, I know that dreams have the power to change your life. Dreams inspire, inform, motivate and enlighten us. If you pay attention to your dreams and record them, you’ll discover that they are the perfect tool for creative brainstorming and problem solving, and for connecting us to the wisdom of the inner self or Divine Source.

So, last night? It wasn’t just a dream. It was a gift. Are you paying attention? - Paula Chaffee Scardamalia, Writing & Creativity Coach, Dream & Tarot Intuitive, www.DiviningTheMuse.com

FACEBOOK PLAYING BIG BROTHER. I had a run in with Facebook on 23 January. I shared a pic of a sexy naked man at the beach.

From behind, so only his bottom was on display. Fun pic, and well received until FB deleted the lot after a complaint! I’ve seen full frontal female nudity and everything from lingerie to girl on girl action on my news feed. I don’t always approve, but I just skim over the posts that don’t interest me. In the light of what gets past the censors, it raised the old double standard hypocrisy when it comes to gender nudity. Facebook seems to react to the smallest complaint and, as a company, really needs to loosen up the censorship rules and be a little more flexible! Eventually the pic was re-instated (after many loud voices of dissent), and Mr Oceanview has now gone viral. - Karin Witnish, Raunchy Romance Chick, http://www.facebook.com/romancechick

d passions. Send your letters to us at editor@DareOutLoud.com. Printed letters not intended for publication. All letters are subject to dare copyright.

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Solving Life’s Most Difficult Problems Unveiling the 3rd Alternative With Dr Stephen R. Covey

From the multimillion-copy best-selling author of ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ —hailed as the #1 Most Influential Business Book of the Twentieth Century—‘The 3rd Alternative’ introduces a breakthrough approach to resolving conflict and creative problem solving. Dr Stephen R. Covey, one of Time magazine’s 25 most influential Americans, brings his formidable insights to our toughest personal, organizational, and social challenges.

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eyond conflict and compromise, the 3rd Alternative unveils a radical, creative new way of thinking. It’s a groundbreaking but practical work that demonstrates why 3rd Alternative thinking represents the supreme opportunity of our time.

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neither of you has all the answers— DR STEPHEN R. COVE EXPLAINS and hopeful.

THE 3RD ALTERNATIVE Most conflicts have two sides. The HOW IS THE 3RD ALTERNATIVE 1st Alternative is my way, and the DIFFERENT FROM COMPROMISE? 2nd Alternative is your way. We are To compromise is to concede or used to thinking in terms of ‘my team’ surrender something in order to get against ‘your team’. My team is good; a concession from the other side. your team is bad, or at least ’less Thus, in a compromise, everyone good’. Because we are stuck in this loses something. The way of thinking, we see 3rd Alternative is the only two alternatives: opposite: everyone keep fighting or go for wins. a shaky compromise. ardly anyone We get to the 3rd But there is ever asks that Alternative through almost always a 3rd question, “Would synergy. Synergy is Alternative: it’s not you be willing what happens when 1 your way, and it’s not to look for a 3rd + 1 = 10 or 100 or even my way. It’s a higher Alternative we 1,000! It’s the mighty way. It’s a better way haven’t even result when two or than what any of us thought of yet? more respectful human have thought of before. beings determine The 3rd Alternative together to go beyond not only resolves the their preconceived conflict, it transcends ideas to meet a great challenge. It’s the conflict. about the passion, the energy, the Hardly anyone ever asks that ingenuity, the excitement of creating question, “Would you be willing to a new reality that is far better than the look for a 3rd Alternative we haven’t old reality. even thought of yet?” Yet it’s the key The miraculous principle of synergy to not only resolving conflicts, but also is at work all around us. Redwood transforming the future. The question trees mingle their roots to stand gets you past your conflict. It opens strong against the wind and grow your mind to creative possibilities. to incredible heights. Birds in a V It is both humble — you recognize

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formation can fly nearly twice as far as a lone bird because of the updraft created by the flapping of their wings.

If you put two pieces of wood together, they will carry far more weight than each piece can bear separately. In all these cases, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

WHAT ARE THE FOUR STEPS TO ATTAINING SYNERGY?

I ask you: “Are you willing to go for a solution that is better than what any of us has come up with yet?” It begins as a thought experiment, nothing more.

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two or more respectful human beings determine together to go beyond their preconceived ideas to meet a great challenge.

Then I ask you: “What would better look like?” The idea is to come up with a clear vision of the job to be done, a list of criteria for a successful outcome that would delight us both—criteria that move beyond our entrenched demands.

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We create prototypes; we brainstorm new frameworks; we turn our thinking upside down. We suspend judgment for the time. All synergy depends on allowing ourselves to experiment with radical possibilities.

Once we have our criteria, we start experimenting with possible solutions that will meet the criteria.

We know when we’ve arrived at synergy by the excitement we feel. The hesitation and conflict are gone. It’s a burst of creative dynamism that represents a successful 3rd Alternative, and we recognize it when we see it.

WHAT ROLE IS THERE FOR 3RD ALTERNATIVE THINKING ON THE WORLD STAGE AND IN INTERNATIONAL POLITICS? As long as international diplomacy is an exercise in political gamesmanship, conflict will continue. Peace depends on changing paradigms, and you can’t change paradigms unless you listen to understand the other side. True understanding is rare. It actually confuses people when you really listen to them. It disarms their anger FEBRUARY 2012

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H ardly anyone ever asks that question, “Would you be willing to look for a 3rd Alternative we haven’t even thought of yet?

and prepares them to consider an alternative beyond the entrenched positions of both sides.

In the 1840s, Switzerland fell into civil war and came close to disintegration. Today, despite — and perhaps because of — its diversity of languages, ethnic groups, and religions, it is a model of synergy. The most productive, efficient, and prosperous people on earth, the Swiss chose to transcend the paradigms of conflict in favor of something better. As a nation, Switzerland is a living 3rd Alternative.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LIVE LIFE IN CRESCENDO? I often say, “Live life in crescendo!” It means to seek creative, innovative, exciting 3rd Alternative experiences all your life instead of allowing your life to diminish as you age.

What will your legacy be?

What else do you have to contribute?

Is your greatest work still ahead of you?

Those around you will be waiting and hoping you can answer the daunting challenges of our world. And as you answer with a synergy of mind and heart, you will be blessed with a life of meaning and purpose.

Click here to obtain your personal copy of Dr Stephen R Covey’s book The 3rd Alternative

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Contributing

WELCOME riters

Share your story and connect with dare readers around the world.

dare is accepting feature article submissions. Email your contribution to editor@DareOutLoud.com

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dare legacy

the

SECRET before

WALLACE D. WATTLES 1860 - February, 7 1911

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"There is a science of getting rich, and it is an exact science, like algebra or arithmetic. There are certain laws which govern the process of acquiring riches, and once these laws are learned and obeyed by anyone, that person will get rich with mathematical certainty.”

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efore Napoleon Hill’s ‘Think and Grow Rich’; before the prosperity teachings of Robert Schuller or Anthony Robbins; well before the worldwide sensation of Rhonda Byrne’s ‘The Secret’, was the man and the book that laid the foundations for them all.

Over one hundred years ago, an uneducated farm labourer from Illinois transformed his life and his fortune. He became a prosperous writer, and in one of his books, ‘The Science of Getting Rich’, he shared a practical, step-by-step process by which anyone, from any lot in life, could become wealthy, too.

Wallace D. Wattles was the pioneer metaphysical wealth strategist. Through personal study and experimentation he discovered what he called the ‘Certain Way’ which, if FEBRUARY 2012

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practiced precisely and unfailingly, simply guarantees wealth. Wattles unlocked the secret of what we know today as the ‘Law of Attraction’.

instructions for becoming wealthy in ‘The Science of Getting Rich’, published in 1910. Less than a year later, he died.

HIS LEGACY HIS STORY “Man can form things in his thought, Not much is known about Wallace and, by impressing his thought upon D. Wattles’ life, except that before he formless substance, can cause the thing became a wealthy and prolific writer, he thinks about to be created.” he was a penniless Wallace D. Wattles labourer stuck in a cycle set the foundation of poverty, failure and for modern day an can defeat. prosperity thought How did Wattles break leaders; he personally form things in the cycle? According demonstrated that his thought, and, to his daughter, “He wealth was attainable by impressing [simply] saw himself for anyone if they put his thought as a successful writer, a their minds to achieving upon formless personality of power, an it; he proved what is substance, can advancing man, and he known today as the ‘Law cause the thing began to work toward of Attraction’. he thinks about the realization of his Rhonda Byrne, creator to be created. vision." of ‘The Secret’ and the Wattles discovered, modern day wealththrough personal study by-positive-thinking and experimentation, guru, once told Oprah that by combining positive thinking Winfrey that Wattles’ book ‘The with action and gratitude, and by Science of Getting Rich’ “gave me a unfailingly following what he called glimpse of ‘The Secret’. It was like a the ‘Certain Way’, any person could flame inside my heart. […] Something become rich – no matter what their inside of me had me turn the pages one current situation. by one, and I can still remember my Wattles generously shared tears hitting the pages as I was reading the principles and step-by-step it.”

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Top 7 Lessons learned from the ‘original’ wealth strategist

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Don’t feel guilty about wanting to be rich "Whatever may be said in praise of poverty, the fact remains that it is not possible to live a really complete or successful life unless one is rich. You cannot rise to your greatest possible height in talent or soul development unless you have plenty of money. For to unfold your soul and to develop talent you must have many things to use, and you cannot have these things unless you have money with which to buy them."

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Think about what you want “A person can form things in his thought, and, by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created.”

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Be clear about what you want “You must know what you want, and be definite. You can never get rich, or start the creative power into action, by sending out unformed longings and vague desires.”

“The more clear and definite you make your picture then, and the more you dwell upon it, bringing out all its delightful details, the stronger your desire will be.”

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Remain resolutely focused on what you want “It is by your will that you determine upon what things your attention shall be fixed.”

“The Creative Power within us makes us into the image of that to which we give our attention.”

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Take action for what you want “By thought the thing you want is brought to you. By action you receive it.” “…you must not rely upon thought alone, paying no attention to personal action.”

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Adopt a ‘Mental Attitude of Ownership’ “Think and speak of all things you have asked for in terms of actual present ownership”.

Powerful. Enduring. Proven.

Wattles’ scientific wealth attraction theories and practices continue to bring riches to countless individuals from every walk of life.

T o permit your mind to dwell upon the inferior

is to become inferior and to surround yourself with inferior things.

On the other hand, to fix your attention on the best is to surround yourself with the best, and to become the best.

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“One must persistently visualize oneself as being, doing or having whatever one wants.”

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Be grateful

“There is a Law of Gratitude, and it is absolutely necessary that you should observe the law if you are going to get the results you seek.”

“The man who can sincerely thank God for the things which as yet he owns only in imagination, has real faith.”

As a reader of dare we’d like to gift you with a copy of Wallace D Wattle’s lifechanging book, The Science of Getting Rich.

Click here to download your copy.

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How Building A Profitable Business Saved My Life & Healed My Soul With Sheri McConnel

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Every woman’s journey starts somewhere. In the humble spirit of let’s just get it all out on the table, I thought I’d share some of the key details of mine up front. By unwrapping the most challenging aspects of my life for you now, I hope you’ll feel even more empowered as you delve further into both my story and your own.

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n sharing my prior hardships and false hopes, I offer up positive energy for whichever path you currently find yourself on. I imagine that the same angels that once stood by my side throughout my childhood and then again during my divorce, flank me on either side for you. I ask that they hold us all steady as we face the winds of change, individually and together.

I invite you to step into the light with me.

Isn’t it time to bring more joy and power to your world?

The best way I know how to do this is to take one step at a time, concentrating on moving past fear into power. Please forgive the Jerry Springer-esque texture to my story.

What can I say? It’s where I come from. But it’s been my policy through the years that once I heal from something, I leave it behind and move on. I only stop to relive the drama now (for the first time) so you’ll know that

M ake good choices!” I always

tell my children whenever we part— as I drop them off at school or to daycare or at a friend’s for a sleepover. I wish my mom had known to share that wisdom with me.

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A few of the many wonderful lessons of my tortured childhood

 how to adapt to change quickly  how to relate to different cultures  how to rely on myself to make good things happen  how to trust my intuition and sense danger in a split second  how to move away from unhealthy situations and people  how to be financially independent  how to set boundaries  how to forgive  how to forgive some more My experience is that a person can live his/her whole life and not learn some of these priceless lessons. The human spirit is resilient and seeks validation and love. These lessons helped me to make better choices. And everything begins with choice.

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where a person comes from (maybe you?) needn’t have any bearing on where they’re going.

I offer you a key here, hoping that it will help unlock a door to a magical place for you.

Or, maybe with my story you’ll simply find yourself making more good choices, more often. That’s the real key to success, isn’t it? Good choices. This key unlocks many an abundant door. “Make good choices!”

I always tell my children whenever we part—as I drop them off at school or to daycare or at a friend’s for a sleepover.

I wish my mom had known to share that wisdom with me. Or maybe she did? In her own roundabout way...

My Not-So-Happy Childhood Don’t many unhappy childhood stories start with something about mom? Beginning with mine is perfect because she taught me countless priceless lessons at an early age.

That sounds sort of peachy, but believe me, it wasn’t. Let’s just say that I learned from my mother what NOT to do if I wanted a happy life.

I watched her suffer because of her endless bad choices, which never eased up until the day I let her go.

Once I grew into adulthood, I learned the truth: mom was bipolar. But as a

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kid, all I knew was that I couldn’t trust My version of my traumatic, unstable her to brush the knots out of my hair and chaotic childhood meant that, or make me a simple sandwich for for years at a time, I experienced a school, much less provide any stability great deal of mental, physical and whatsoever. And, unfortunately, she sexual abuse. I say ‘years’ only because was all I had. during a few of her marriages, mom My mother was an orphan who had stopped beating me. She was either married six times by the time I left too busy with her new husband, home at 17 to put myself through and thus ignored me—for which I college. My father was grateful—or was her first because one of my husband; they stepsiblings was om was a divorced when I on the receiving was an infant. I end of the beatings stripper, or exotic wouldn’t see him instead. dancer (I dare say again or ‘meet him’ Although my semi-prostitute if until I was 21. mother didn’t I’m to be completely Mom was a participate in the honest), which stripper, or exotic sexual abuse, she made my life even dancer (I dare say never saved me worse because of the semi-prostitute if from it either. environment in which I’m to be completely When I finally she met her suitors. honest), which asked her to protect made my life even me from the last worse because of unsavory man she’d the environment in trotted into my life, which she met her suitors. she blamed the abuse on me. She said, All of my ‘stepdads’ were “It’s your fault because of the way you questionable at best, dangerous dress.” My mother made countless at worst. Together, their alcohol bad choices. and drug abuse multiplied Let me pause to say that today I’m exponentially, immersing me in deeply grateful for my childhood. I a toxic soup in which I struggled understand now that my mom never every day to grow. healed from what must have been

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her own childhood traumas. Then, terms with the fact that while we all each time she veered off the cliff to deserve healthy parents, we don’t make yet another rotten decision, she always get them. I have to believe I became that much more disgusted was given my mom for a reason, and with herself. After spending my thus I’m extremely grateful to have twenties seething with anger towards lived through those years, able now to her, and my thirties letting go and talk about them while holding a larger forgiving her, I now feel sadness for perspective. Our experiences, negative the woman who gave me life. Although or positive, are gifts when we choose my twenties were to see them as such. hard, chocked-full For instance: of mistakes from A few of the my own monkey-see many wonderful lthough my mother cruddy behaviors, lessons of didn’t participate in I survived with my my tortured the sexual abuse, she heart and sense of childhood: never saved me from it humor intact. And, either. When I finally more importantly, • how to adapt to asked her to protect me I learned a lifetime change quickly of lessons in a mere • how to relate to from the last unsavory few decades! If life’s different cultures man she’d trotted into a school... I got a • how to rely on my life, she blamed the double PhD. myself to make abuse on me.

I’ve come to good things happen

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• how to trust my intuition and sense danger in a split second • how to move away from unhealthy situations and people • how to be financially independent • how to set boundaries • how to forgive • how to forgive some more My experience is that a person can live his/ her whole life and not learn some of these priceless lessons. The human spirit is resilient and seeks validation and love. These lessons helped me to make better choices. And everything begins with choice.

No matter what you’ve gone through, you can heal from it. I think being an entrepreneur is undeniably what saved me in adulthood. I’m convinced I was able to learn and grow infinitely

more during the last 11 years because I owned a business.

For me, having this place to go and spend my time in helped me not focus on the bad stuff as much. It gave me a place to shine rather than be reminded of my mistakes. I just have to be careful about balance, like we all do, so that my life doesn’t veer off the road again while I am running a successful business. We women are resilient souls.

All of the bad stuff eventually melts away when you replace it with enough good stuff.

Having a global Internet company continues to allow me to see how we’re all connected, all one, here on this planet. We get to see how common our experiences are and be inspired by each other’s brilliance.

Sheri McConnell is a bestselling author, inspirational speaker, mother of four, and the CEO of the Smart Women’s Institute™, a global company with over 50,000 women subscribers and members. The Smart Women’s Institute™ focuses on empowering women to be healthy, wealthy, and smart! www.SmartWomenInstitute.com FEBRUARY 2012

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Sadly, this new era of technology and social media has rendered the art of conversation redundant.

The Lost Art of

CONVERSAT With Tania Usher

I’ve been prone to it all my life. As a toddler, I’d ask endless questions and chat unceasingly about my findings. Each primary school report would divulge, “Tania is a participative student, willing to engage in all activities; however, she tends to talk too much in class.”

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TION

love chatting. I love asking questions. And I love listening to stories. In short, I love conversations. Getting together for a natter with friends, especially over a glass of vino, is one of my favourite pastimes. A close second is calling a friend for a lengthy telephone catch up while curled up on the couch.

Each week, as I purchase my weekly produce at the farmers market, my darling watches in amusement as I strike up conversations with every stall owner. “How do you manage to chat about lettuce every week,” he ponders. I enjoy chatting with parents at school, the girl at the checkout, bank tellers and the delightful array of people who come and go from my life on a daily basis.

Sadly, this new era of technology and social media has rendered the art of conversation redundant.

Everyone seems to be racing at lightning speed, way too busy engaging in intimate dialogue with the latest electronic device, to stop and connect with other human beings. While social networking updates, text and email are useful tools for keeping informed of each others’ ‘status’, people have stopped ‘talking’ to each other.

Everything from births to deaths and marriages are shared electronically before a spoken word has ensued.

I experienced this firsthand when a recent family death was announced on Facebook prior to all family members being informed. Why this urgent FEBRUARY JANUARY 2012

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P ing pong ‘updates’ shoot back

and forth across the cyber plane in an attempt to resemble conversations. Sure, you get the latest news, but do you really get the message?

need to ‘blast out’ as-it-happens social updates?

Ping pong ‘updates’ shoot back and forth across the cyber plane in an attempt to resemble conversations. Sure, you get the latest news, but do you really get the message?

While concrete figures vary between 55% and 93%, it’s well documented that non-verbal communication, such as tone and body language, makes up more than half of a conversation.

So, what key elements of the message are you missing when you rely solely 34

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on electronic communication?

Subtle, non-verbal cues convey your feelings, passion, empathy and honesty - vital components to any conversation.

Perhaps this explains the rise of online arguments. Witnessing a recent online altercation between two teenage girls over an unspoken ‘incident’, I suggested that one of them give the other a call to “chat things through”. No...actually speaking with each other, a component of civilized human life, was deemed way

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too stressful. Instead, both parties opted for several hours of Facebook messaging, tears, anxiety and upset, when all could have been resolved with a 10 minute phone conversation.

It’s this unrelenting reliance on electronic communication that has inspired the February dare challenge.

Each day throughout February, yes even weekends, I’m phoning 10 people. That’s a total of 290 calls in a month! Now that’s upping the communication stakes.

Another inspiration for this month’s dare challenge came from my savvy friend Jennifer Abernethy, author of the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Social Media Marketing (plus version two out in April): “For Social Business to work

you must connect (say online) then #PUTP - Pick up the phone. By 9:40am I've made 4 substantive calls. I’ll then spend the next 2-3 hours working on my business before client meetings in the afternoon.

Once you’ve read this edition of dare, log off and go pick up the phone,” Jennifer Abernethy.

Let’s rekindle the art of good conversation.

Let’s start looking people in the eye.

Let’s embrace the human need to communicate.

Let’s start speaking...out loud.

Let’s dare together.

To participate in the February dare challenge, visit www.Facebook.com/DareOnlineMagazine to share your experiences of phoning rather than emailing, status updating or texting. I dare you to call at least 5 people every day and share how doing so affects your business and your personal relationships.

Each day I’ll be blogging my journey, challenges and insights at www.GetNakedWithTania.com, so drop by and leave your comments, thoughts, ideas and feedback. FEBRUARY 2012

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Magnetic Force of Social Media Narcissism vs Activism 36

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I Is social media driving global democracy or creating a generation of self-absorbed narcissists more interested in changing their profile picture on Facebook than participating in a human rights protest?

was thinking about my Facebook addicted teenagers and pondering this question with an old acquaintance, when he declared, in no uncertain terms, that kids in their teens and early twenties were ‘sheep‘ and social media was, in fact, just an example of the ’inauthenticity and self absorption‘ of kids today.

He’s just a boring old punk who spent his twenties squatting in London, thumbing his nose at Thatcher during her 1980’s regime, who doesn’t know how to use a mobile phone but, I had to concede, he wasn’t the first I had heard accuse Gen Y of complacency. It's little wonder those looking down on the Net Generation from the skeptical Gen X pantheon of anarchic old punks, have eyed them somewhat suspiciously, so far.

But change is in the air. Social media, driven by those in their teens and early twenties, is globalizing democracy. More than just a broadcast tool, social media’s magnetic force is globalizing fervent social media activism. The global ‘Occupy’ movement is inspiring our self conscious youth to dare ask questions about the way their world FEBRUARY 2012

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is run. Frustrated by the political eighteen asylum seekers at a remote game-playing and turmoil outback immigration detention exacerbating international centre. economic, environmental, Her deep concerns at the welfare, indigenous and state of society have found refugee problems, young people a boisterous platform on worldwide are finding a voice.

Facebook where she and friends The growing gap between the from all over the world can majority of people and those with passionately articulate their decision making power is in question. discontent and disengagement By amplifying opinion, over globally Facebook and other pertinent social and forms of social media economic issues are, far from creating in fiery online his display complacency, igniting a exchanges. of intellect, global crusade.

This display of courage and Equipped with intellect, courage and conviction should pocket sized digital conviction should be be applauded; media, the savvy Net applauded; after all, after all, a social Generation filmed a a social conscience is conscience is a global revolution as it a good thing, right? good thing, right? unfolded in Egypt and The perplexing thing is Tunisia and civil war that Erin has a police erupted in Libya and record. Her crime?

Syria last December.

Exercising her democratic right Erin* is an Australian to freedom of speech in a peaceful nanotechnology student and march on the Commonwealth Heads aspiring astronaut who uses social of Government Meeting in Australia media to advocate social reform – last year under the banner ‘justice and in other words, she’s an activist. climate action: not racism and war’.

Last month she and fellow activists Er, hang on; Australia is still a free spent Australia’s national holiday country, right? journeying through the desert to  A recent Fairfax newspaper article protest the detention of under reported that a private intelligence

T

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company had begun working under contract for the Australian Federal Police and the federal AttorneyGeneral's Department to monitor activist websites, blogs, Facebook and Twitter to provide warning and analysis of protest activity.

Censorship and manipulation of social media not only muffle the smart voices of young people but create further disengagement with Governments that can only benefit

by using social media to gain vital feedback on policy.

Social network tools like Facebook have the potential to globalize democracy, but if our young are censored through government intimidation, then, like that boring old punk said, we could find ourselves faced with a global society of sheep, after all. *not her real name

Tierri Abraham is a freelance writer and researcher who has worked as a journalist for newspapers and magazines and is an education writer for Quadrant Productions Media and Education. She is presently studying a Bachelor of Secondary Education majoring in writing, social studies and history. She is also a mother of four.

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In my quest to win Gold for Australia, the earliest lesson I learned was that I had the power to control my focus – I could choose to lose or win.

Creating Your

ChampionMind With 7-time World Champion Marathon Swimmer Shelley Taylor-Smith

A

s a young girl, I would go to sleep every night dreaming, visualizing myself being a World Champion Swimmer, the Australian Flag flying as I stood on the dais wearing the winner’s medal around my neck. More than visualizing myself winning, I later realized I was in fact actualizing my future and success through the power of my focus.

Since then, all my solutions have lain in the Power of Focus.

When I learned to redirect my attention, single-mindedly focusing on achieving my goals, I developed the mindset required to be a Champion – my Champion Mindset®. I learned the most important six inches of my body is the distance between my ears, and indeed, my greatest asset is my mind!

Here’s an example of how I used the Power of Focus and my Champion Mindset® to eliminate a negative and achieve success:

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O n the day of the championships,

the jellyfish were swarming. There were literally thousands of them! It would be impossible for any of us to swim a single stroke without bumping into them, getting ensnared in them or getting stung. We were all nervous.

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In 1991, the FINA World Swimming Championships were held in the Swan River in Perth, Western Australia. Being a native of Perth, I had the home advantage of training where the championships were to be held. I also had the benefit of learning how to deal with the swimming hazard of the Swan River – jellyfish.

I mean HUGE jellyfish, the size of large dustbin lids, that would get trapped in your bathers and that were so dense that swimming into them felt like swimming into a brick wall!

On the day of the championships, the jellyfish were swarming. There were literally thousands of them! It would be impossible for any of us to swim a single stroke without bumping into them, getting ensnared in them or getting stung. We were all nervous.

My sports psychologist took me aside and coached me into turning this troubling, negative experience into a Champion Mindset® positive one. He suggested, radically, that I turn the obstacle into an opportunity by making the jellyfish my friends! Not only that, he recommended I embrace and welcome every one of the jellyfish as a raving fan that had come to cheer me on.

Crazy, right? But, instead of making a limiting decision and rejecting his counsel, I gave it a go.

I won, and I became the inaugural FINA 25km Women’s World Champion.  More than just winning, I learned an invaluable lesson. By redirecting my Power of Focus from negative to positive, I could propel

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F ocusing on what you want to create, and keeping your goal in the forefront of your mind, is the key to staying motivated and achieving success with greater ease.

myself towards my goals with greater energy and passion.

Focusing on what you want to create, and keeping your goal in the forefront of your mind, is the key to staying motivated and achieving success with greater ease.

Motivation is the energy and passion that fuels your drive and provides the impetus to achieve your goals, whether personal or professional.

Try these 2 exercises to understand what I mean by the Power of Focus and the Champion MindsetÂŽ:

1

DO NOT think of a blue tree.

As I ask you NOT to think about a blue tree, what happens? You think about the blue tree first, in order NOT to think about it. Your mind has just created the one thing I asked you not to think about, the negative you didn’t want!

Get over thinking about negatives by replacing them with visions of positivity and success. The Power of Focus will motivate you to achieve your dreams.

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2

Remember your Mindset® is a way of most memorable life. Living and working moment of success. every day towards your Step back into goals empowers you that place, that with revitalized passion state and frame of and enables you to mind. Remember walk the talk... as the how you felt? Relive Champion you were your feelings of born to be. achievement; see What are you focusing yourself in the on? Ask yourself, is experience; feel the your life built on a smile on your face; true belief in yourself hear the sounds around and your ability to you. Experience again build long-term that empowering success - successful iving and taste of success. While relationships, a you’re in this frame working every day profitable business, a of mind - do you feel towards your goals fit and healthy body, a positive, motivated, balanced lifestyle – or empowers you with in control and geared are you focusing on revitalized passion for success? This is obstacles that stop you and enables you to your Champion from achieving your walk the talk... as Mindset®! goals? Decide what you the Champion you Creating your want, direct your life were born to be.

Champion Mindset® is and create consistent easier than most of us results NOW! You can dare to dream possible. More than a do it, with the Power of Focus and a momentary state of mind, a Champion Champion Mindset®.

L

SHELLEY TAYLOR-SMITH is a Motivational Keynote Speaker, International Best Selling Author, Business Trainer and Success Coach who has proven that any ordinary person can achieve extraordinary results when they “Get Up, Get Over It & Get On With It.” www.ChampionMindset.com.au 44

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dare sponsor

Public Display of Attention THE PUBLICITY STUNT February is the month of love. Grand gestures of love are commonplace, marriage proposals and brave declarations abound. This month, dare yourself to think outside the box and consider showing your business a little love with a Public Display of Attention… or publicity stunt.

Nothing generates buzz and media attention like a well thought out and perfectly executed publicity stunt. No matter the exploit, the following is essential for a successful stunt:

Make it big – The louder, larger and more extravagant the better.

Be creative – Do your research, and make sure your stunt is unique.

Be mysterious – Don’t give away too many details, spoiling an essential element of your publicity stunt, the key is surprise.

Keep it relevant – The world’s biggest pie is great for the new bakery, not so good for the local mechanic.

While a publicity stunt should never be considered a sure thing, in love as in business, ‘nothing ventured nothing gained’.

CASSY SMALL is co-owner of Big Fish Planning, a full service Marketing & PR agency with a passion for Events! Big Fish create individualised solutions for your business with the mission to make you the Biggest Fish in your pond!

www.bigfishplanning.com.au

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Expand Your LEADERSHIP

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There’s a movement swelling.

Have you noticed? A movement for, about, and by women.

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emale Leadership is emerging universally to answer the unrelenting cry for a different kind of leadership. And here’s the potentially startling news...you’re THE ONE. You’re the woman to deliver this new leadership that will change the face of nations.

You’re already a Leader within your world providing guidance to your family, colleagues and community.

Whether you realize it or not, people are watching you – your children, friends, neighbors, sisters and brothers, clients, employees. They’re observing what you do and how you do it. They notice what you say and how you say it. I dare you to step up and be the difference the world is aching for.

Here are 5 simple ways you can step into your true leadership power every day.

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1

Demonstrate your CHARACTER Of the many facets making up a Leader’s character, none rank higher than integrity. Be impeccable with your word. Do what you said you’d do, when you said you’d do it – and with excellence. Even if no one is watching, do the right thing - even when it’s uncomfortable, difficult or bears a cost. Integrity defines leadership.

2

Live your COMMITMENT Know your commitment.

Create a crystal clear Vision Statement for your life and your business that inspires you and encompasses your highest values and priorities. Be committed. Even when you don’t want to, don’t feel like it or it isn’t fun. Standing in your commitment will push you to achieve anything you say you will, regardless of feelings, circumstances or challenges. Commitment inspires leadership.

3

Express your COURAGE Don’t wait to feel courageous.

Act courageously even when you least feel it. Only when you act in the face of fear do you validate your bravery and 48

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boldness. Be audacious in accepting challenge. Calculate your risks to help reduce apprehension yet defy your fear and step into the unknown.

Courage cultivates leadership.

4

Radiate your CONFIDENCE Carry yourself with confidence defined by your life experience.

Remember that you bring unique gifts, talents and skills to the

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willing to say it. With compassion and diplomacy, communicate openly and directly. Allow others to communicate freely and honestly, without fear of retribution or judgment. Sincere and genuine communication is a contribution – from you and to you. Communication conveys leadership. dare to join the movement...apply these five leadership practices in your life and your business. Be the leader you are born to be, and cause global change simply by sharing your extraordinary self in all you do. dare to leave a Legacy of Leadership to everyone whose life you touch each and every day.

equation that no one else could possibly bring. Precisely because no one else has walked your path, you embody expertise and wisdom that is completely incomparable.

Confidence nurtures leadership.

5

Voice your COMMUNICATION Say what needs to be said – even when no one wants to hear it or better yet, when no one else is

Aprille Trupiano, International Expert on Leadership, Speaker, Author, Radio & TV Show Host. Visit www.GetClickNow.com to get your FREE eCourse “5 Mistakes Women Make from the Boardroom to the Bedroom”.

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Change You ™ Can Be Part Of Stop taking sides. Start creating solutions.™ I created that slogan many years ago while wondering what it would take to get people that actually care, to Act!

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hen, on the morning politely declined and assumed this email of 16 July 2006, would be a courteous thank you for my something happened time. I was wrong. in my own life that Julian’s email was short. He wrote propelled that he hadn’t been able me to start to sleep that night because making solutions myself. he was not able to reach lobal I downloaded my usual two dear friends - one in problems are so Israel and one in Lebanon. hundreds of morning emails. overwhelming He continued that he had The first email I opened was a CNN Breaking News Alert felt helpless about the and immense outlining the latest gory Middle East situation that the details about the bloodbath average person and that he had asked in the Middle East. I was feels powerless the Universe what he nauseated, no one should be to do anything could do to help. on such a email list.

As I read, I was wondering about them.

The next email was from a WHY this man was sending man named Julian Kalmar. me this email. When Julian He had contacted me several exposed the Universe’s days earlier hoping to encourage me answer, I understood. And my life to promote his “Happiness” product. I changed forever.

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The answer was: ‘10 Million Votes for Peace’.

I picked up the phone and called Julian.

Over the next few days, we changed the name to ’10 Million Clicks for Peace’, and we created a humanitarian organization that is now endorsed by Nobel Laureate Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Deepak Chopra, Arun Gandhi and Jack Canfield, among others.

The underlying concept of 10 Million Clicks for Peace is that global problems are so overwhelming and immense that the average person feels powerless to do anything about them. So we created is a web-based platform to address that problem.

Our technology converts every wireless device into a ‘Peace Machine’. Individuals can contribute

to world peace while helping to feed the world’s forgotten 21 million war refugees - without even having to financially donate. Just take simple 5-minute actions, and the results multiply on their own as if by magic. The best part is that you can ‘measure’ the impact you are making in 10 categories on a special meter in real time. Simply open your ‘Peace Tree’, and you can see every person you have attracted who is making a positive impact because of you.

One of our members, Terri, has attracted over 2,000 members and is singlehandedly responsible for raising over $10,000.

10 Million Clicks for Peace offers, for the first time in history, an opportunity for individuals to directly address a global problem and be part of the solution.

Put the power of peace in your hands.

Click any of the ‘join’ links on our blog http://wwwTenMillionClicks ForPeace.org and know that YOU are making a difference in 2012!

Rick Beneteau 10 Million Clicks For Peace

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dare book shelf

Click on a book image for more information.

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dare featured book

Smart Women Live Their Why Goes to #1 on Amazon

Within 24 Hours!

Get ready, because there’s an exciting new book that will change the way you think about yourself and your business, whether you’re steeped in the “WHY” movement now or just getting started!

Smart Women Live Their Why: How Women Entrepreneurs Are Living On Purpose and In Passion is a true testament to the way female entrepreneurs are shaping the world.

Chapter after chapter, you are taken on a journey with women who have encountered challenging – sometimes severely traumatic - situations, both in business and at home, that have created the circumstances in which each of their unique WHYs are born.

featuring Tania Usher Then, you learn how each woman cultivates and honors her WHY as she moves forward, teaching you in the process.

Now, you can see through other women’s eyes and experiences how they’ve found their WHY, and how they’re using it to give back and make positive changes in the world.

Your WHY is an inside job. Your business is an outward reflection of it. Join thousands of women around the world who are LIVING their WHY every day. This book shows you how!

Click here to grab your copy and join the “Live Your WHY” movement.

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7

Investment Opportunities for 2012

The year 2012 was always going to be monumental (or at least mental): according to Mayan prophets, it could be the year the world ends; conspiracy theorists predict it could be the year aliens win the World Cup. At the very least, it is a wonderful opportunity to bid goodbye to 2011 and open our doors to new opportunities.

As you begin 2012, take some time to think about what you are going to invest in this year – financially, spiritually and emotionally. Here are 7 fresh investment opportunities to consider:

1

GOING ‘GREEN’ WILL KEEP YOU IN THE BLACK. Recycling materials in the workplace and at home is not only good for the environment; it’s good for your bottom line. Companies which use fewer materials spend less and are better positioned to take advantage of new opportunities. Households which spend less on consumer goods are giving 54

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themselves a virtual pay-rise. Invest in less.

2

TUNE UP YOUR KARMA. Maintaining your car is common sense, good safety and a great investment. Also consider that maintaining your relationships with others outside your immediate sphere of influence is a good investment.

Donating unwanted goods or excess cash to charities will make you feel good and it’s also tax deductible. Invest in relationships.

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TAKE YOUR DOGMA FOR A WALK. If you’re a vegetarian, strike up a conversation with a fisherman. If you’re Christian, attend a Hare Krishna rally. Acting outside your normal parameters will give you a fresh perspective. If you are in sales or business, it will enable you to communicate with a broader variety of new people, thus enhancing your chance of winning the next deal. If you’re an employee, your new understandings will make for more interesting conversation with peers. Invest in understanding.

4

YOUR WEALTH IS IN YOUR HEALTH. Realise that many people spend the first 40 years of their lives sacrificing their physical or mental health to accumulate money, and then they spend much of that money trying to become healthy. Aim for a balance so your body outlasts your car and you don’t become the richest entrepreneur in the cemetery. Invest in your wellbeing.

5

THINK OUTSIDE THE SQUARE YOU LIVE IN. Twenty years ago the Australian dollar was around 50 US cents, and Asian trade was almost non-existent. Ten years ago, India was an economic backwater and China was not even a blip on the radar. Right now, Australia is the richest country in

the world, and Asia’s wealth exceeds Europe. Where have you invested?

Invest in the future.

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OUTSOURCE. It’s not just for big businesses that use overseas call centres. You can outsource daily tasks such as transcription, research, promotion or logo design for as little as $5 on sites such as www.fiverr.com or www.elance.com, saving you time and money. Invest in getting others to do whatever is not your key strength.

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YOUR NET WORTH IS IN YOUR NETWORK. If you do not have a friend who gives you inside tips on new investment floats or lets you know when new properties come onto the market; if you don’t know a business coach or a wealth coach; then it’s time for you to meet new people who can sow prosperity into your life - not by giving you cash, but by giving you new moneymaking ideas. Invest in your network.

Jeremy Britton - is an independent wealth coach and business coach who assists entrepreneurs with finances, health and lifestyle. You can receive great financial and lifestyle tips by connecting on Facebook, YouTube, or at www.24hourwealthcoach.com.

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We all know how important regular exercise is for your body to stay healthy and strong. But your body is not the only thing that requires a regular commitment to exercise. Don’t neglect your brain. Your brain needs daily exercise to stay healthy and astute.

Power Up Your

MENTAL STRENGTH

a dare by Tania Usher

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s you age, your brain starts to lose its sharpness. You may struggle with memory loss or start to feel as though you don’t function as well as you once did. Chalking this up as an inevitable sign of aging is a cop-out, particularly as exercising your brain can reduce mental deterioration.

Extensive research shows that mental exercises keep your brain young. And the best exercises for your brain are neurobic exercises.

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What Are Neurobic Exercises?

Neurobic exercises involve varying your routine so you have to think about how to action otherwise familiar tasks. In essence, neurobic exercises trick your brain. Altering the way you perform everyday activities stimulates your brain.

This, in turn, enhances brain function and health.

Engaging in any form of ongoing education has a positive effect on your brain. Introduce simple neurobic exercises throughout your day by making

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5 Examples of Neurobic Exercise

1

Use your left hand if you are right handed. Doing this takes great concentration. You’ll automatically want to use your right hand, so concentrate your focus on using your left hand. Your brain will be challenged to adjust to this new use of your left hand while fighting the urge to use your right hand. This will create a lot of brain stimulation, in other words, brain exercise.

small changes in how you approach tasks.

Exercising your brain will yield noticeable results. People who engage in neurobic activities experience less brain fog, improved clarity, greater mental dexterity and better memory. Exercise your brain daily to help prevent the effects of aging so you can enjoy mental sharpness and clarity well into your golden years. ...I dare you.

2 3 4

Complete challenging brain teasers and puzzles.

Learn a new trade, art or craft (no matter your age).

Eat a meal with your family in complete silence using only visual cues. This can be challenging – but fun – and it can give you a few moments of peace and quiet!

5

Study a foreign language…great excuse to spend some extra time in Italy.

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February is often touted as the month of love.

W hile I do love February, especially

as it’s the birth month of my firstborn daughter, brother and father, I’ve never been much of a Valentine’s Day fan.

When I was three weeks overdue, my daughter was scheduled to be induced on the day of love, 14 February. Fortunately, I opted to wait a day, and without intervention, Mia made her own way into the world in just over three hours. For me, 15 February is a more powerful day of love.

I’ve often pondered why so many people ‘save up’ their love, affection, adoration, amour, endearment and special night out for this one day in the year. Isn’t sharing love and connection a vital component of daily life? An annual card and candle lit dinner doesn’t cut it for me. My ethos is to love well and be well loved, and this requires the giving and receiving of love on a daily basis: calling people (see this month’s dare challenge), hugging, laughing and most of all connecting from the heart.

So, while I don’t wish to disparage February’s accepted title as the month of love, I’d like to propose instead that we make 2012 the year of connection. ...I dare you