Feelgood 22-01-2010 by Evening Echo

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Feelgood Friday, January 22, 2010

You’ve left the cap oﬀ the toothpaste again

Who cares? Get a grip

What to do when your partner brushes you up the wrong way: 8, 9

SEEING DOUBLE

Lifestyle leaves its mark on faces of identical twins: 4,5

SPIRIT WORLD

Psychic to the stars Sally Morgan is put on the spot: 11

PERFECT POUT

Latest beauty products to boost your lip appeal: 14

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The HPV jab scheme is welcome, says Arlene Harris, but we should also learn about preventing cervical cancer

Kate O’Reilly WHAT’S ON DIABETES PROGRAMME: A series of free education sessions for people with diabetes will take place in Dingle, Co Kerry in February 2010. The XPERT programme is being by organised HSE Community dietitians in conjunction with local GPs. Patients will participate in six, two and a half hour, weekly education sessions. The aim of the programme is to educate people affected by diabetes and improve their awareness about the most current treatment so they can best manage their condition. Contact Carina Corridon, HSE community dietitian, at 066-7195681. UCC SYMPOSIUM: UCC’s School of Medicine is organising a symposium on assessment called Assessment: The Big Questions and Some Answers tonight, January 22 at G06 Brookfield Health Sciences Complex. Attendance is free — to register visit www.nairtl.ie HEART CLINIC: The Irish Heart Foundation will hold a free blood pressure and cholesterol testing clinic at the Parish Centre in Carrigaline on January 27 from 10am to 12pm. For more information contact the Irish Heart Foundation Cork office on 021-4505822, or if you have questions about stroke or heart disease ring 1890-432787. OPEN EVENING: UCC Medical School will hold an Open Information Evening about the UCC Graduate Entry Medical Course on January 26 from 6-8pm in Brookfield Health Sciences Complex. Contact Dr Anne Harris, associate director of graduate entry at a.harris@ucc.ie for queries. To attend the evening, please email Helen Joustra at H.Joustra@ucc.ie. DEPRESSION AWARENESS: This is Depression Awareness Week, Aware’s annual campaign to create greater public awareness about depression and the services that are available for those affected by the condition. Anyone concerned about depression can contact the Aware loCall Helpline on 1890-303302 or email info@aware.ie for a free information pack or visit www.aware.ie. THERAPIES DAY: If you would like to take a holistic course this year but are unsure which therapy best matches your needs, you may be interested in a free event in Vienna Woods Hotel, Glanmire, Co Cork, tomorrow, Saturday January 23, from 2pm to 5.30pm. The afternoon will include a free group healing session. The event is open to all but entry is by pass available from either Cornelia Fitzgerald 087-2138446 (email: corneliafitzgerald@gmail.com) or Joan Buckley 087- 6749221 (email: info@lilyholistic.com). Items for inclusion in this column can be sent to koreilly8@gmail.com

Life saving offer E

VERY woman who has ever had a sexual relationship is in danger of getting cervical cancer. This fact may surprise the many people who believe that the disease is only relevant to heterosexual females with an active or even ‘promiscuous’ sex life. Cervical cancer is so prevalent that it is the second most common cancer affecting women in Ireland under 44 years of age, causing 90 deaths a year in this country and a quarter of a million worldwide. So with great enthusiasm the Irish Family Planning Association (IFPA) has welcomed the dramatic u-turn by health minister Mary Harney on the cervical cancer vaccination programme. A national cervical cancer vaccination programme for all girls in first year in secondary school — estimated at 30,000 — will go ahead this year. The campaign for a 26-county vaccination programme went from low to high priority following the very public death of Big Brother’s Jade Goody on Mother’s Day last March. Dr Caitriona Henchion, medical director of the IFPA says the combination of population-based screening and school-based vaccination programmes has the potential to eliminate cervical cancer in a generation. “This vaccination will provide immunity against the two strains of human papilloma viruses (HPV) which cause about 70% of cervical cancer,” she says. The IFPA urges the health minister to

JADE TO PEARL: Jade Goody is a high profile instance of a woman dying from cervical cancer. Picture:Stefan Rousseau/PA Wire follow the recommendations of The Health Information and Quality Authority (HIQA) for a school-based vaccination programme, which according to HIQA has the potential to save 52 lives a year. January 24-30 is Cervical Cancer Prevention week and using the pearl of wisdom logo, the IFPA has joined forces with the Irish Hairdressers Federation (IHF) in a bid

to highlight the disease and make women aware of the need for screening and the means of prevention. All 330 member salons of the IHF will help distribute pearl of wisdom campaign badges and information leaflets about cervical check to women for the duration of the Prevention Week. The Marie Keating Foundation will also be selling badges and all proceeds will go directly to the foundation. Dr Henchion of the IFPA says although it can affect every woman, there are certain factors which increase the chance of contracting cervical cancer. “Risk is increased by smoking, the early age of onset of sexual activity, a high number of sexual partners or even a partner who has had many different partners,” she warns. But it can be prevented by: ■ Having regular smear tests ■ Vaccination ■ Using condoms during sex ■ Delaying the onset of sexual activity ■ Limiting partners ■ STI screening ■ Giving up smoking

■ For more information or to obtain an appointment for a free smear test visit www.cervicalcheck.ie or call 1800 454555. ■ European Cervical Cancer Prevention Week will be launched by RTÉ presenter Maura Derrane on Sunday, 24 January in Kazumi Hair Salon, 36 Molesworth Street, Dublin 2 at 11am.

HEALTH NOTES WEALTH OF HEALTH: Photographed at the launch of the new UCC student mental health policy were Mr Paul Moriarty, head of student counselling department UCC and Dr Michael Byrne, head of student health department UCC.

ASIDE from working off the festive excesses and supporting a good cause, you may also meet that special someone by taking part in the Cupid’s Dash 10k Fun Run. The event is in aid of the Irish Heart Foundation and takes place in Dublin’s Phoenix Park on Saturday, February 13. Entry fee is F25 and F5 of every entry fee will go towards the Irish Heart Foundation’s CPR programme to promote emergency lifesaving skills. Each ticket includes entry to a free post-event party. To enter or for more info, visit www.cupidsdash.ie, www.irishheart.ie or email tcomber@irishheart.ie. WHAT we learn from siblings when growing up has a big impact on our social/emotional development as adults, a University of Illinois study has discovered. While acknowledging the important role of parental influence on child development, Professor Laurie Kramer said siblings’ influence shouldn’t be under-estimated. Parents are better at teaching children how to act in public or at the dinner table, but siblings are better role models when it comes to how to act at school or around friends.

A NEW treatment launched by Dutch vitamins, minerals and supplements company PK Benelux Pharma Care BV may help tackle Ireland’s obesity problem. Currently, close to one in four Irish adults are overweight, while one in four is obese. The new fibre-based treatment, Obesimed, produces a feeling of

Picture: by Tomas Tyner/UCC.

being full and satisfied during the meal and the period afterwards, thereby reducing food cravings so the person eats less. The active ingredient — a natural fibre — isn’t absorbed or digested by the body. It is drug-free, chemical-free and also relatively free of side-effects, though flatulence can occur. It costs F19.90 for a 45-capsule pack. UCC has launched its student mental health policy in a bid to promote positive mental wellbeing at the university. Launching the policy, Minister for Equality, Disability and Mental Health John Moloney said: “Students and teachers can play a vital role by identifying early warning signs of an emerging mental health issue and encour-

aging the young person to seek help as soon as possible.”

ANTIDEPRESSANTS don’t work for some depressed patients because their brains resist the drugs. This is according to researchers in the US and France, who say that instead of raising serotonin levels — leading to a reduction in depressed feelings — the drugs lowered levels of the chemical in some patients. The researchers say these patients shouldn’t be treated with antidepressants. It’s believed the findings will help identify patients for whom antidepressants may not work and they may also lead to more effective treatments for such patients. Helen O’Callaghan

feelgood@examiner.ie EDITORIAL: Irene Feighan 021-4802292 ADVERTISING: Niamh Kelly 021-4802215

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

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THE SHAPE I'M IN

Kevin Kennedy

Watts Curly up to? BEST known for playing Curly Watts in Coronation Street, Kevin Kennedy suggests it’s no accident that his two little girls were born in the last five years since he left the soap. “I relaxed sufficiently to have children after Corrie,” says the 48-year-old, who’s married to Clare and whose children, Katy and Grace, are five and three respectively. The Manchester-born actor is currently performing in We Will Rock You, the smash-hit musical by Queen and Elton John, which rocked into Dublin’s O2 this week, where it runs until January 31. The former Corrie star plays Pop, a librarian stuck in his hippie past who’s searching to find answers to the end of rock music. “I love the role and to play it with the backdrop of Queen’s music — it’s great,” says the man whose mum, Joan, was born in Dublin. “She was one of six so I had lots of aunties and uncles in Ireland — all my cousins live in Drogheda.” Still recognised on the street as Curly Watts, Kevin visits the Corrie set whenever he’s back home in Manchester. “I go into the green room and have a cup of tea with the cast. I catch up on all the gossip as any normal ex-employee would.” What shape are you in? Not bad at all — by being on tour with the show and performing eight shows a week you get a level of fitness. How else do you keep fit? I’m not a big gym fan, though I do go at times. I find chasing two little girls around the garden is sufficient at the moment.

Still recognised on the street as Curly Watts, Kevin visits the Corrie set whenever he’s back home in Manchester

A UNIQUE GIFT A PERSONALISED IRISH EXAMINER FRONT PAGE

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Do you pray? Yes. What would cheer up your day? My children laughing.

Helen O’Callaghan

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Do you have any health concerns? I’ve got a dust allergy. I have to be very careful because it can bring me out in hives. I don’t get it much in winter. It affects me more in summer because I suffer from hay-fever then too.

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What are your healthiest eating habits? I have fads of very healthy eating alternating with weak times, when I eat pizza. I think steak and salad is healthy. You can’t go wrong with that — it’s pure energy. What’s your guiltiest pleasure? Chocolate. What would keep you awake at night? Too much Diet Coke. I pretty much sleep okay otherwise. I try not to worry too much about anything because I can’t do much about it until next day anyway. How do you relax? I go to the cinema and to the theatre, which I really enjoy. And when I’m home it’s like being on holiday. I love it there — it’s so relaxing after being on tour. What would you change about your appearance? Nothing — I’m very happy, thank you very much. When did you last cry? I can’t remember. It’s not something I do very often. And when I do, it happens in private.

THE FEELGOOD PERSONALS

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party? Spike Milligan, Homer Simpson, God and the devil. What’s your favourite smell? Seaweed on rocks — I quite like the smell of the sea.

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What’s your earliest memory? Riding a bike with white tyres when I was two or three years old. What trait do you least like in others? Ignorance. What trait do you least like in yourself? Impatience.

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GLORY DAYS: Kevin Kennedy plays a librarian stuck in his hippie past in the Queen musical We Will Rock You.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

Every Friday.

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The same but different... <

It’s the ultimate controlled experiment — take two genetically identical women and watch how their different lifestyles alter their faces. Nisha Lilia Diu examines these photographs of twins and sees the dramatic effect smoking, sunbathing and even divorce can have on their looks. It’s an argument as old as time: does nature or nurture affect us most? When it comes to ageing, should one hope for good genes — or lead a good lifestyle? Photographs by Michele Mauser

AHMAN GUYURON, a surgeon and professor at the University Hospitals of Cleveland, wanted to find out how much we can help or hinder the ageing process, so he went to the Twins Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio, to find out. There, Guyuron and his team photographed and interviewed hundreds of sets of identical twins and got some startling results. Despite having identical genes, some of the twins looked as much as 11 years older than their sibling, thanks entirely to lifestyle differences. “Sun exposure was the biggest factor,” says Guyuron. “The next was smoking.” Surprisingly, the team found that smoking for five years or less had no effect on facial ageing. But prolonged smoking — even if the person had quit decades ago — led to sagging skin, deeper lines (especially around the mouth) and pronounced under-eye bags. “When I see [those bags],” says Guyuron, “I don’t have to ask if they smoke. I know they do.” Alcohol was another baddie. “Drinking harms the liver, which plays a major role in the integrity of the skin collagen,” explains Guyuron. “Also, drinking dehydrates the skin, and moisture is very important for maintaining the skin’s youthful appearance.” The study also confirmed the saying that older women must choose between face and figure. While being overweight gave young women an older appearance, it was the reverse after 40 — the extra weight smoothed out wrinkles. After 55, the plumper the twins were, the younger they looked — good news for those tormented by Madonna’s low BMI. Another winner for older women was HRT. The twins who used it had thicker hair, fewer age spots and better skin elasticity. The oestrogen in contraceptive pills had the same effect on younger twins. It seems that the longer they spent on the pill, the greater the benefits. But psychological wellbeing is also important. Joan Collins’ conviction that your life shows up in your face turned out to be true, with depressed and divorced twins appearing older. The facial expressions of those suffering from stress or unhappiness led to down-turned lips and deeper lines between the brows. Plus antidepressants negatively affect the skin. By far the biggest culprit, though, was the sun. Sun worshippers looked signifi-

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CHRISTINE AND KATHLEEN, 52 The perceived age difference between Christine and Kathleen — 6.25 years — is due to smoking. The housewives live in the same town and have similar lifestyles, with Christine getting only marginally more sun exposure than Kathleen. But Christine has smoked a packet of cigarettes every day for the past 23 years. The lines in her forehead and between her brows are longer and deeper than her sister’s. She also has vertical lines along her top lip, which Kathleen, who has never smoked, does not have.

cantly older than their indoorsy twins, with sagging skin, age spots and deep wrinkles. But because the effects of sun damage don’t show until later, many spent their teens and

20s happily tanning with no idea of what they were storing up. However, says Guyuron: “There was a major difference between those who used

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

JEANNE AND JOANNE, 62 Both are retired and live close to one another in California. They have had moderate sun exposure throughout their lives, and began using factor 20 sunscreen in recent years. They smoked about five cigarettes a day during their 20 and quit at 31. Their weight is the same. Jeanne is happily married, Joanne is divorced. She has deeper lines between her brows and has pronounced downward folds around her mouth. The stress of her divorce has made her look 2.5 years older than her twin.

GINA AND TINA, 40 Both look young for their age, possibly because neither has ever smoked or consumed much alcohol and neither currently drinks. Tina weighs more and the heaviness of her jowls makes her look a little older than her twin. Though both have used sunscreen for at least the past 10 years, Gina has always used a minimum of factor 30, whereas Tina usually goes for less than 15. She is showing the first forehead wrinkles (while her sister has none) and has much deeper lines between her nose and mouth.

BRENDA AND BARB, 52 For 14 years Brenda smoked at least half a packet of cigarettes every day. This, combined with a lifetime of sunbathing and having a lower weight than her sister, makes her look more than six years older than her twin. Barb has never smoked, and, though they both count outdoor swimming among their hobbies, Barb always wears factor 15 sunscreen when doing so, while Brenda has only recently begun using factor four. Notice the bags beneath her eyes and her much deeper forehead lines.

JEANNE AND SUSAN, 61 The difference between the two is so pronounced strangers don’t believe them when they say they’re twins. Susan looks more than 11 years older than Jeanne, thanks to a lifelong love of tanning. She moved to Florida specifically for the sunshine (Jeanne lives in the Midwest) and spent hours a week toasting in its rays with a cigarette in hand. Sixteen years of smoking, added to all that exposure, has given her dramatic discolouration as well as sagging, crêpy skin and numerous deep wrinkles.

sun-protection lotions and those who did not.” Even if you live in Florida and play tennis five days a week,” he says, “As long as you use sunscreen you can avoid damage to your

BARBARA AND BEVERLY, 69 These twins are remarkably similar: both are teachers who live in the same town, neither has ever smoked or married, and both enjoy crafts. Yet Barbara looks more than five years older than her sister. This is because Barbara reports three times as much sun exposure as Beverly. She has deeper lines between her brows and around her mouth, and her skin is saggier (sun damage reduces elasticity), giving her hollow cheeks.

DINA AND GINA, 27 Gina weighs three-anda-half stone more, and the loss of definition to her jaw line and cheekbones caused by that extra weight makes her look slightly older than her sister. Both are teachers who love reading and travel. But Dina also loves sunbathing. She is already beginning to show signs of sun damage and, in the long run, it may be she who looks older.

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skin.” But the widespread use of sunscreens only took off in the last decade or so. It’s too late for the older twins, yet the benefits are evident in the younger ones.

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Gina and Tina, for example, look far younger than 40, perhaps because they have both worn sunscreen since their late 20s. And it is wise to start early. Most adults

CHARLOTTE AND REBECCA, 48 Drastic weight-loss surgery is the reason for the 4.25-year perceived age difference between these two. Both had gastric surgery, but Charlotte was initially much heavier than her sister. She lost almost 16 stone compared with Rebecca’s 5.7. Charlotte is now slightly slimmer and the dramatic loss of fat to her face has left her with loose skin, giving her deeper and more numerous wrinkles than her twin, whose face is fuller and more youthful-looking. spend long periods indoors, meaning that the damage is mainly done during childhood. So force that factor 30 on your children.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

And get yourself some chic sunglasses and a floppy-brimmed hat. If you’re going to adopt a youth-prolonging lifestyle you may as well look glamorous while you’re at it.

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One of the positive aspects of the recent adverse weather was the kindness expressed by people

Love in a cold climate Tony Humphreys

HEN the Feelgood editor requested I write an article on people’s behaviour in the recent cold snap, true to my everyday work as a clinical psychologist, my immediate thoughts were that many people live in a cold climate all of the time — even in the hottest climates — where they experience an absence of belonging or harsh, violent or cold abandonment. This ‘cold’ climate can operate in families, marriages, workplaces, churches and neighbourhoods. Love is absent and what can be present is a chilly atmosphere with bitterness, silences, criticism, and a freeze put on emotions and unmet needs that need to be expressed. It is unlikely the recent prolonged cold spell would have lead to any thaw in these loveless relationships — much more than a change of weather would be required to de-ice hearts wherein the blood runs cold. These individuals who are terrified of any show of affection have chilling tales of loveless homes to tell those of us who have the ability to sit with their pain, the understanding ears to hear, the benign and compassionate eyes to see and the heart to feel unconditional love. The experience of a persistent heat wave of unconditional love and warmth would be required to melt such defended and wounded hearts. Certainly, what was gratifying during the recent cold spell was the groundswell of kindness that emerged between people. In my own case several neighbours enquired about our wellbeing and one neighbour helped out when my car spun around on the icy road and I couldn’t move it. Other people in the locality warned us about dicey roads. Indeed, a whole host of caring responses were daily to be witnessed — people shopping for one another, dragging cars out of ditches, offering a supportive arm to slip-sliding young and old and checking-in with neighbours to see was everything okay. Shopkeepers have also told me of a lot more conversation between customers rather than the customary rushing in and out with no time to talk. Many families have related having more fun and together-time gathered around the open fire. There was also an unprecedented rise in the sale of bird seed indicating that our feathered frozen friends benefited from the cold spell. These acts of kindness were far and beyond the responses of local county councils, the National Roads Authority and the Government, but then you cannot legislate for

human kindness. Do people wait for crises before they exhibit kindness? Are we too shy to express how much we really care unless the circumstances demand it? I believe it’s in our nature to give and receive love, but experience teaches us to fear showing love (especially among men) and to fear receiving love (especially among women). The gender difference is by no means hard and fast as, for example, in my life I would have had huge difficulties in receiving caring but bent over backwards in caring for others. Certainly, those people who have difficulty in expressing love have an underlying fear of being thought of as ‘soft’ or ‘soppy’. They have a fear too of being shamed were they to express kindness — they do not want to re-experience the original shaming when as children they spontaneously expressed affection. Crises, weather or otherwise, provide the emotional and social safety for many people to respond spontaneously from their true nature. However, when the crisis is over the likelihood is that those who come out from behind their protective shells will retreat back into them. Individuals who are secure in themselves and feel free to give and receive love, do not need a crisis to be fully human.

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COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY REACHING OUT: The recent cold snap brought many people out of their shells, offering an opportunity to express who they really are. Picture: iStock

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All crises — climactic, economic, social, familial, occupational, political, and religious — bring problems to be resolved and opportunities for deepening human contact. However, it is not more crises we need for individuals to feel sufficiently safe to be real and authentic. What is required are opportunities, particularly for those who are fearful of being expressive of or receptive to kindness, to know themselves, find their own inner stronghold and an independence to give and receive. In the words of the French philosopher Rousseau: ‘There is no greater wisdom than human kindness.” Dr Tony Humphreys is a consultant clinical psychologist and author of several books, including Whose Life Are You Living?

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

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Once the initial gloss has worn off, it’s surprising what couples fight about. Helen O’Callaghan gets advice on how to put the spark back rather than have sparks flying

When the honeymoon is over

HE honeymoon’s definitely over. The gloss is gone. You’ve been married three years and irritations are piling up between you like dirty socks in a corner. But does the gloss always go? Yes, says Terry Real, author of The New Rules Of Marriage and founder of the US-based Relational Life Institute. A family therapist for more than 20 years, he recalls the words of the wife of a National Football League player: ‘I used to look at my husband’s arms and think how could anyone look at those arms and not immediately want to have sex? Flash forward three years and I just think ‘strong arms’. “We idealise a lot of things in life — the reality is another thing altogether,” says Real, who grew up in Atlantic City, New Jersey. “So I can personally testify that sex on the beach is a great idea but not good in practice — marriage and sex on the beach have a lot in common.” What takes the gloss away in romantic partnerships, says Real, are our imperfections. “The discrepancy between the goddess and the god we want — and deep down believe we deserve — and the lumpy, not always attractive human being we’re with, sticks in the craw.” For his book, Gripes, The Little Quarrels Of Couples, Jean-Claude Kaufmann, professor of Sociology at University of Paris V-Sorbonne, interviewed couples about what typically ratchets up their irritation levels. For one couple, who’d warred over the issue for nine years, it was the correct temperature for washing clothes — he favoured 60 degrees so as to get clothes really clean, she argued for 30 so as not to ruin them. Other couples fought over how exactly to squeeze the toothpaste tube (Kaufmann sees the toothpaste/toothbrush as highly symbolic objects because they’re often the first items to be introduced into the new partner’s home, “indicating by their presence the beginning of the domestic phase of the conjugal adventure”). Women complained about men who disappeared behind the newspaper, answered ‘Mmm’ when asked what they wanted for dinner, then had the gall to later complain ‘you should have cooked pasta/steak’. Kaufmann says marital explosions mainly occur in places where the couple are in close contact, such as at the table (‘oh no, he’s put the spoon in his mouth and then in the jam jar again’) and in the car (where battles are waged over temperature, radio v CD, volume) or where they use the same objects (‘the keys aren’t where we agreed they should be’, ‘he controls the TV remote’). Rows also erupt over opposing attitudes to time — between what Kaufmann describes as the “organised plan-ahead type and the improvising spur-of-the-moment type”. And money’s a frequent bone of contention. “Money’s often a source of gnawing irritation. On one side is the calculator,

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Ask each partner in couples with relationship problems who’s to blame and 90% will say the other person. You then don’t have to undergo the pain of self-examination, you feel you’ve got moral superiority, you can tell your friends what a loser your partner is, you can justify treating the other person in a shabby way careful with money and in charge of the household finances, and on the other, the exponent of happy-go-lucky attitudes, of living from one moment to the next without thought of the future.” Terry Real sees all couple relationships as an endless dance of harmony, disharmony and repair, of closeness, disruption and return to closeness. “Closeness is phase one, the honeymoon, where you’ve got love without knowledge. You have a deep soul connection but you don’t know what the floor of the other person’s closet looks like. Phase two is the disillusionment phase — knowledge without love. You know more about this person than you want to know and you don’t love that part of them in that moment.” So how do we get from disharmony back to harmony? Stanford Universi-

ty-based psychiatrist and author of Feeling Good Together Dr David Burns believes something in human nature thrives on hostile, troubled relationships. “The big issue in troubled relationships is not so much lack of skill in communication or problem-solving — rather it’s a lack of motivation to change. It’s not ‘we don’t know how to love each other’, it’s ‘we don’t want to’.” Ask each partner in couples with relationship problems who’s to blame and 90% will say the other person, says Burns, who cites the benefits of blaming the other. “You don’t have to undergo the pain of self-examination, you feel you’ve got moral superiority, you can tell your friends what a loser the other person is, you can justify treating the other person in a shabby way.” But if you persist in saying ‘Oh, but she really is controlling’ or ‘No, he re-

ally is lazy’, no self-help tool will work for you, says Burns. “The first step is to ask yourself ‘am I willing to let go of the idea that the other person is to blame?’ Then count the cost of blaming my partner — endless immersion in hostility and anger, feeling powerless to improve the situation — and decide, on balance, whether I want to engage in blame or change.” Terry Real, who believes we need to have the humility and savvy to work at the relationship from within, says nothing comes out of a tit-for-tat, win-lose marital dynamic. “If one of you wins and the other loses, you both lose. Why? Because the loser will make the winner pay — and you live together.” While experts agree that one of the most common unspoken wishes among couples is ‘why can’t you be the same as me, then

we wouldn’t have any tensions’, Lisa O’Hara, relationship counsellor with the Marriage and Relationship Counselling Service (MRCS) says we can’t always get our own way in relationships. “Some things are immovable. The hope is that in a healthy relationship other things can be negotiated so that one person doesn’t always feel on the back foot.” David Burns advocates the EAR (Empathy, Assertiveness, Respect) approach to dealing with couple conflict. Empathy — acknowledge the other person’s feelings. Find some truth in what s/he is saying. Assertiveness — express your feelings openly, directly and tactfully, using “I feel” statements. Respect — convey caring and respect even if you’re feeling frustrated/annoyed with the other person.

For Burns, the entire conflict between a couple is nearly always embedded in one brief exchange between the two of them. Take an exchange where the wife feels the husband’s always criticising her: Husband: ‘You never listen.’ Wife: ‘Yes, I do.’ Burns argues that the way this woman responds is causing the exact problem she’s been complaining about — that he’s always criticising her. “In the exchange between them, she didn’t acknowledge how he was feeling or any truth in what he was saying. She didn’t express her own feelings. She didn’t convey respect. Arguing with someone isn’t respectful — it’s putting them down.” During her first session with couples, Lisa O’Hara asks when the problem started. “A very high percentage say during pregnancy or soon after the first child was born. The parental role is very absorbing and the child’s needs always come first, but the couple needs time together where they’re not being parents. You didn’t come together just to be a parent. You fell in love.” While women tend to be more far-seeing than men when it comes to relationship-health, men want to please their women, says O’Hara. And men like women to be specific with them. “Take the common scenario where the woman asks the man to dress the baby. He chooses an outfit that she’d never have chosen. She says: ‘Oh my God — why did you put that on him? It’s not warm enough’. He gets this barrage of criticism. He’s hurt and feels he’s let her down. When she asks him to help again, he’s going to feel wary. Whereas if she’d been specific and said: ‘Could you please put the blue trousers on him with the red top’, it would have worked. Men like to get things right, so they’re particularly sensitive to criticism,” says O’Hara, who strongly advocates never criticising a man and never ignoring a woman. For a happy relationship between romantic partners, O’Hara suggests it boils down to the three As and the three Cs. “Men want to be appreciated, acknowledged and adored. Women want to feel confident in the relationship, be complimented and feel cherished.”

POINTS OF VIEW: From left, Terry Real, author, and founder of the US-based Relational Life Institute; Jean-Claude Kaufmann, author, and professor of Sociology at University of Paris V-Sorbonne; Dr David Burns, author, and Stanford University-based psychiatrist and Lisa O’Hara, training and development manager with the MRCS (Marriage and Relationship Counselling Service).

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

■ WHAT COUPLES FIGHT OVER ■ Squeezing the tube of toothpaste ■ He ‘disappears’ behind the newspaper ■ How money is spent

The ideal way to tackle problems WO couples in conflict — how Dr T David Burns’ EAR (Empathy, Assertiveness, Respect) approach could

help both partners find a solution:

sounds like you’ve been feeling hurt and angry and rejected too. Can we talk about it? This is hard for me but I want to know more about how you’ve been feeling.”

Problem: Joe says his wife, Marie, constantly criticises him and is never interested in sex.

Problem: Jill says her husband, Ronan, never helps around the house.

Typical brief exchange:

Marie: ‘I’m mad. You got drunk on the way home from work again. You chose alcohol over me. You’ll probably sit on the sofa in a stupor and watch TV all night. You smell. It drives me mad.”

Jill: I see you finally got the hoover out.”

Joe (in anger): “I might as well get drunk. You’re about as warm as an ice cube. Nothing turns you on.” Joe’s alternative response using EAR: “You’re right. I did drink too much on the way home and you have every right to feel upset. I’ve been feeling frustrated and rejected and I’ve been avoiding you instead of talking it out. I feel like we’re drifting apart and it hurts because I don’t want to lose you. Right now, I’m feeling hurt and put down. It

Ronan: “Don’t be so pushy. Leave me alone.” Jill: “Does it bother you when I suggest how to make life a bit easier?” Jill’s alternative response using EAR: “Ronan, it’s hard for me to hear you say I’m pushy because I know you’re right and I’m sure it’s irritating. I love you and want to hear more about how you’re feeling. You’re probably feeling annoyed at me. At the same time, you just asked me to leave you alone and I understand if you feel like you’re not in the mood to talk to me right now.”

When it’s time to leave... OT all relationships between couGood Together. “Ask yourself ‘am I inN ples are salvageable. Sometimes vesting wisely in this relationship’?” you have to acknowledge that ■ If your needs just aren’t being

things have moved beyond repair. What are the signs that you may have reached that point? ■ “If you’re in a chronically abusive relationship, where there’s violence and threat to life,” says Lisa O’Hara, relationship counsellor with MRCS. ■ “Is the person you’re hooked up with so narcissistic and hostile that it’s going to be very difficult to forge an intimate, loving relationship with them?” says Dr David Burns, author of Feeling

met in the relationship, that may constitute a reason for moving on, says O’Hara. “Your needs may have changed. Maybe your kids are grown-up and you realise the relationship with your spouse was primarily a parenting one. You’re not really that interested in them and you no longer have shared interests.” ■ If your partner’s trying their best to leave you, there’s something to be said for letting go. “Letting go empowers you,” says Burns.

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Dr Niamh Houston

FAMILY

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Dr Niamh Houston is a GP with a special interest in integrative medicine. If you have a question about your child’s health email it to feelgood@examiner.ie or send a letter to Feelgood Irish Examiner City Quarter Lapps Quay Cork

IS it common for children to get cold sores? My son seems to get them frequently. Is there anything we can do to prevent them? A. Cold sores are common among young children and are caused by the herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1). This virus is usually picked up by contact with someone else who is actively infected and is passed on in saliva. Most children get cold sores by sharing food or utensils or kissing someone who already has a cold sore. After the first infection the virus isn’t cleared from the body but remains dormant (inactive) deep in the nerve cells. In some cases, as appears to be with your son, the virus is reactivated, causing it to travel down the nerve to the skin surface where it produces a cold sore. Triggers that can reactivate cold sores include stress, fever, other viral infections, UV light (exposure to sunshine) and cold. Children suffering with recurrent cold sores may notice a tingling sensation for a few hours before the appearance of the blisters on the skin. After this a small inflamed mark appears on the skin which may be itchy in the early stages. This mark then develops into a blister and can last for about 10 days. Treatment includes learning to recognise and avoid triggers — by applying sunblock to the lips when going out in strong sun. Children can use antiviral cream (acyclovir) which can be bought at any pharmacy — this helps to shorten the duration of the sores. It is more effective if applied to the skin as soon as possible. Encourage your son not to touch or pick his cold sores, and to wash his hands regularly which will reduce the risk of spreading the infection. To reduce the pain and discomfort of cold sores in children, ice can be applied on the sore. A mild analgesic such as ibuprofen can help reduce any discomfort. Zinc ointment with water may help healing. Make sure your child has a well-balanced diet, is getting enough sleep, and is not experiencing too much stress. Avoid foods containing arginine an amino acid found in chocolate, peanuts and some cereals and avoid salt, spicy and sour food. Homeopathic remedies used to treat cold sores include rhus tox 6c, natrum mur 6c or capsicum 6c. The remedy can be given four times daily for up to five days. Replace his toothbrush and use only small tubes of toothpaste. Outbreaks of cold sores become less frequent as a child gets older. Most adults have antibodies to the cold sore virus, indicating that during childhood we all come into contact with the virus and some of us develop immunity while others get cold sores. Q. I am considering having a test done

KISS AND TELL: Cold sores are common in children, mostly picked up by sharing food or utensils or kissing someone who already has a cold sore. Picture: iStock

to see if I am at risk of getting Alzheimer’s disease. I found out about it on the internet. It involves sending a sample of my saliva to a company, and I get the result back by post. Can I get tested for other diseases in this way also? A. There are many genetic testing services advertised online. It can be tempting to just mail in a saliva sample, along with a fee of about F500 to F600, and to take action, if needed, to avoid genetically inherited health problems. However, before you sign up, take a critical look at what you’re buying. Although commercial genetic tests offer tantalising glimpses into your hereditary make-up, the information they provide isn’t all that useful for avoiding diseases — and may even cause more harm than good. The commercial genetic tests you can order online don’t tell you whether you have or will get a particular disease. The testing involved looks for tiny differences in gene sequence known as SNPS (single nucleotide polymorphisms). They can only give you your estimated odds of developing each one of a number of common diseases — and only to the extent that the presence or absence of a few SNPS tells the whole story about your risk. Also the clinical significance of many SNPS is not yet known. Your risk of developing many common diseases, including heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and Alzheimer’s disease depends not only on genetic changes, but also on envi-

ronmental factors. You don’t need to spend hundreds of euro to tell you to quit smoking, eat more fruit and vegetables and get off the couch. This will lower your risk of many chronic illnesses, whether or not your genes make you more susceptible. But if you have a gene profile that’s linked with a higher risk, say of Alzheimer’s, it doesn’t mean you’ll actually get this disease. Finding out you face a higher than average risk of this or any other disease can cause anxiety. And the information you receive can be difficult to put in perspective without the help of a doctor. Likewise, people who test negative for a particular disease risk might feel a false sense of reassurance. They might be less motivated to take steps to prevent the disease, even though there’s no guarantee they won’t get it. Another factor to consider is that many insurance companies may not want to insure individuals whose genetic profile places them at risk of a specific condition. Until the information about this type of genetic testing is proven truly useful, you are better off using simpler tools to evaluate your disease risk, such as family history and regular tests. Your doctor can refer you to a medical genetics department for testing and counselling if you have a family history of a genetic disorder, if you were having repeated miscarriages, or if you had a high likelihood of having a baby with a genetic disorder. For more details visit: www.genetics.ie.

NOTE: The information contained in Dr Houston’s column is not a substitute for medical advice. Always consult a doctor first

Catherine Shanahan MUM’S WORLD Feelgood

EW things in life are less predictable than the fate of a marriage, the behaviour of a child and the weather. Neither Lughaidh nor wedlock beat the weather for whimsy in recent weeks. Barely back on dry ground after weeks all at sea from the floods, we were soon under siege by arctic conditions that outclassed the chilliest achievements of the last half century. Should a plague of locusts have followed, it would scarce have raised an eyebrow. The upshot was weeks of captivity for children who do what most wild animals do when held against their will — radiate bad temper and refuse to co-operate with any well-meaning efforts to entertain. Lughaidh’s grandfather attempted to foster good humour with a harmonica and a toy guitar and for a while, his grandson traded snarls for a few songs from the Man in Black, until some random line from a lyric sent him over the edge. “How can a boy be

named Sue, Mammy?” he would ask, throwing down the harmonica in disgust as his grandfather sang on sanguinely about the man who abandoned his three-year-old son to an old guitar and an empty bottle of booze. We brought Lughaidh for walks but he could not cope with the cold. Even the spectacle of a mighty digger smashing the ice on a frozen pond could not excite a reaction. This was bad news indeed. Diggers are to Lughaidh as sportscars are to Jeremy Clarkson: the finest things on four wheels. Lughaidh’s young cousin was equally frustrated. His attempt to escape captivity took him up the chimney. His mother, in the room at the time, turned her back for 10 seconds. When she turned around her small boy was nowhere to be seen. A frantic search about the house yielded nothing. She returned to the scene of his disappearance and spotted two feet dangling below

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

the chimney breast. After much coaxing, her son emerged blacker than the ace of spades. “I was searching for Santa,” he said. We prayed for snow. Eventually it came: hardly a blizzard but enough to fill more than a few snowdomes and leave Lughaidh with a lasting memory of a winter wonderland. A snowman was speedily cobbled together in an effort to outpace the thaw. Trays became makeshift sleighs. A couple of yummy mummies populated the nearby park showcasing shiver chic. Children frolicked with the abandon of newborn lambs oblivious to the hint of mint on their horizon. Then came the thaw that smote all childhood happiness. Snow turned to slush and schools reopened heralding a return to captivity. Parents sighed with relief and acknowledged that wise was the man who said children, like snow, disappear if you ignore them long enough.

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Helen O’Callaghan puts psychic to the stars, Sally Morgan, on the spot

Soul searching

AM ON the phone to psychic medium Sally Morgan, who’s done readings for Uma Thurman, George Michael and the late Princess Diana. Star of ITV series Star Psychic, Morgan’s been reported as saying her telephone readings are “90% as accurate” as those done face-to-face, so I’ve no qualms about putting her on the spot. Where do our loved ones go when they die, I ask? After all, it’s a question her new book, Healing Spirits, How the Other Side can Help Your Grieving Heart, purports to answer. “I love the word ‘Heaven’ — they go to Heaven,” says Morgan. “But our loved ones are also all around us. We’re bombarded on a daily basis by the spirit world, but we’re conditioned – by doubt, fact, science — programmed from birth to say ‘there’s no such thing as ghosts’. We throw up a blanket on the part of our brain that could access them. The spirits just want to tell us they’re happy and in a place of love.” So I ask her if my mother — who died 20 years ago — remains close. “I get the sense you’d hear your mother, she’d like you to know she’s about by making a noise. If you’re sitting quietly in the kitchen and you could swear you hear the tap running, that’s your mother.” No, I think, if I hear the tap’s running it’s because I’ve left it on. And, bizarrely, the linking of noise with my mother simply triggers a childhood memory of her habit of loudly slamming the car door when she got in or out — a habit that always surprised me because she was generally a very calm woman. This is the only mother/noise connection that resonates with me. But Morgan has more to say. “I’m getting the number 56 or five and six – would it be June 5 or May 6?” she asks. No — not ringing any bells. It’s the evening of the next day, long after the conversation is over, that I think of five and six and how my mother never knew whether she’d been born on March 5 or 6. As children, my brother and I would joke about it and pick the date we liked best for her birthday. Morgan, a mum of three daughters and grandmother of eight, believes our departed loved ones only become really prominent for us when the date’s right or when we’re going through a trauma. “My grandfather was born in April and I

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was very close to him so, if he wanted to contact me, he’d do it in April,” she says. She believes there are three levels to life and death — earth plane, spirit world and divinity. “Most of us go to spirit world. There, we earn our place in divinity. Some go straight there — people who’ve achieved great things, like Mother Teresa and Gandhi.” But not to worry, she says, if you don’t go straight to divinity. “You’re with the majority of souls who spend their apprenticeship in spirit world, looking out for their loved ones, before making the move to the next level.” When she “accesses” spirits, Morgan finds them in a place of love, describing it as “like stepping into a warm bath”. Even when people die violent or senseless deaths, concepts such as revenge don’t exist in the spirit world, claims the 58-year-old. “People find this difficult to understand. They think spirits must have a sense of injustice if they’ve been taken from the earth plane too soon. But when we pass over, our spirits make an important discovery regarding death – that it was our destiny to die that day and that however we died is just another way of making the transition to the afterlife. Spirits are far less concerned about the quality of death than they are about the quality of life for those they love on earth plane.” Married for 35 years to John, she says everybody’s got psychic ability. “But people have it in different strengths. It’s to do with a

part of our brain that we don’t access regularly, one I’m able to access. I’ve no idea how this has happened for me. I call it the psychic valve, which opens up, allowing through an energy force like electricity.” Morgan — who had her first psychic experience when she was four when she saw somebody’s dead grandmother — traces her psychic ability to when she was nine months old. “Until I was 12, I had this recurring dream about a baby and a pram. Later, I saw my mother with a photo and the image was the one I’d been dreaming about. The photo was actually of me when I was nine months old.” On the road all year round selling out theatres, perhaps Morgan — who lives in a three-bed semi — exploits people’s vulnerability? “My own personal morality wouldn’t entertain my exploiting anybody. One’s accuracy in this line is what creates a fever pitch. I work five and a half days a week — it had to become a business. I don’t want for anything. And I want to live a good life,” she says, adding that she aims to “have a bereavement centre for people interested in the esoteric world”. It will be, she says, a way of giving back. Once I hear that from a young age Morgan has seen animal spirits, I can’t resist asking her about my

REACHING OUT: Celebrity Uma Thurman, right, has used the services of psychic, Sally Morgan, (main picture).

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

beloved cat, Blackie, who had died just two days earlier. “He hasn’t gone anywhere. You can’t kill a soul — it’s created by God,” she says. Hmm… anything more? “I see a cat sitting on the arm of a sofa,” she adds. Not him, I say, he never did that. “I’m looking at the hand of a man on a soft, fabric-covered chair. And the cat is sitting near the hand, not touching it — it’s to do with the scent.” Now, maybe every cat in Ireland does this — and maybe it’s because my grief is still raw — but the image of the sitting cat, the man’s hand and the fabric-covered chair resonates. Because we used to smile at the way my husband’s hand (never mine) on the edge of the sofa would always bring Blackie to sit close by, not touching, just sitting like a little calm Buddha. But this particular jury’s still out on whether Morgan’s got something or not. She did say she sensed a “very male energy” in my house, though, a “solid feeling, almost like a support system”. Solid? Supportive? Sounds good to me. ■ Healing Spirits by Sally Morgan costs F9.23.

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The French connection

IN ANTICIPATION of Fairtrade Fortnight next month, the organisation is promoting its Big Swap in stores nationwide. It looks like we have at last embraced the idea of thinking before we buy and last year 36,000 of us bought Fairtrade bananas. Now they want us to swap regular coffee, chocolate and confectionery, but especially tea, for Fairtrade brands. There are also Fairtrade t-shirts, undies, socks and shopping bags as well as body lotions and cocoa butter products. More info: fairtrade.ie.

Roz Crowley

Paris chefs share their top recipes

Choosing an apple tree THE timing is right for getting on with planting a few apple trees, so Cork Free Choice Consumer Group’s presentation on producing your own fruit is ideal before choosing what to plant. Con Traas from the Apple Farm in Cahir and John Howard of Sunnyside Fruit Farm will advise on Thursday January 28 at 7.30pm at Crawford Art Gallery Café. Entrance F6, including tea or coffee.

N WINTER Paris is always a good spot to revive the spirits and inspire. Last week in the snow there was hardly a soul to be seen on the streets at mealtimes. They were all packed into tiny restaurants and cafes, eating soups and tucking into hearty regional dishes. I try to eat in chef-owned, small bistros where I can chat to the chef and get all his or her top tips. This is easy when the kitchen is open plan and we can see what’s going on. Here are four economical recipe tips from four terrific Parisian hideaways. Le Nanasouty. In this former butcher’s shop on 35 rue Ramey in Montmartre, not far from the Sacre Coeur, chef owner Eric Jacuouton is shy and doesn’t want to be a foodie rock star. He wants his food to say it all, but I persuaded him to smile for the photograph here and share some of his secrets. Recipe tip: Berlingots are usually sweets, but this savoury version combines thumbnail chunks of white pudding (here boudin blanc is used which is less spicy than ours) with chopped apple of the same size and cent sizes of paté. Wrap in pastry — Eric uses brick pastry which is like filo, but easier to manage, and available here in some supermarkets, but could be made with frozen puff pastry. He browned the parcels in olive oil, then put in the oven for 10-15 minutes to finish. This sounds calorific, but we have much to learn from the ability of the French to enjoy small portions and it was served with a simple salad. He keeps calories to a minimum with a main course of macaroni made with a simple sauce of leeks cooked until soft in butter and olive oil. Top with parmesan or other cheese for a heavier finish. Mama Shelter is a super-trendy hotel at 109 rue de Bagnolet which is in a less fashionable part of Paris, though it is near the Pere Lachaise graveyard. The restaurant has a low blackboard ceiling, sofas and odd chairs and lots of people to watch. Recipe tip: Make a fibre and vitamin-filled meal of an egg by poaching it and serving it on a bed of lentils cooked in chicken stock

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Swapping for Fairtrade

Star quality

Picture: iStock

MASTER CHEF: Eric Jacuouton in his eaterie in Montmartre, Paris.

with herbs. An easy one to replicate and quick too if using canned lentils or the Justfood soup which recently won our soup survey. A drizzle of olive oil added flavour, vitamins and texture. Also there we had pea soup served with a dessertspoonful of whisked egg white in the style of sweet iles flottantes. The soup was finished with dots of olive oil — a healthy way to finish soup instead of cream. Le Comptoir du Relais is one of my favourite spots in Paris as it’s food is always fresh, local and full of flavour. Recipe tip: Make a soup from artichokes (at this time of year Aldi do good jars) and chicken stock. Flecks of paté added just before serving gave it a delicious slightly meaty flavour and a silky creaminess which could be applied to any soup. A few drops of olive oil were sprinkled on top. This is a great way of using leftover paté and makes a vegetable soup a little more substantial and creamy. A really good idea.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

GREAT news for the Cliff Hotel in Ardmore, Co Waterford, which we featured 18 months ago. Chef Martijn Kajuiter, pictured here, has just been awarded his first Michelin star for imaginative, adventurous food while keeping flavours true to themselves and using locally grown produce with flair.

Au Pied de Cochon, near St Eustache church in 1st arrondissement is well known for its pork treats — pig’s trotters included. But the French onion soup is special and a bowl was quite enough for lunch. Here we get tons of cold-fighting sulphur compounds topped with a crust of cheese, traditionally flexible gruyere, which stretched right over to each edge of the bowl. Recipe tip: The soup is made with slowly cooked onions until soft. Then rich beef stock (250ml stock to four onions) is added and cooked for 20 minutes or more. Some recipes add a splash of red wine, a clove or garlic and a few bay leaves. This is an easy one to make and can be finished off in a hot oven or under the grill if you want to brown the cheese. Otherwise float toasted thick bread on top of each bowl with a topping of grated cheese. A perfectly warming and nourishing soup, it makes a good lunch or supper dish. Bon appétit.

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Stay safe on the job

ETWEEN snow, black ice and flooding, it’s a dangerous time to be a worker, whether that involves commuting to work, rushing to get work done because of weather-enforced absences or being an outdoors worker. So it’s no surprise that the Health and Safety Authority is urging all workers to be particularly cautious and not take unnecessary risks during these uncertain times. “These conditions are some of the worst we’ve seen for many years and pose significant extra risk for workers, particularly those who drive for a living and work outdoors,” says Martin O’Halloran, chief executive of the Health and Safety Authority. “Those who work in agriculture are undoubtedly having a particularly difficult time. “Farmers are facing significant challenges at the moment and I would urge them to take extra care. If work must be undertaken on the farm alone, let someone know where you are and what time to expect you back at. Avoid any outdoor work that can wait until conditions are more amenable. Seek the assistance of your neighbours if needed and keep an eye out for their wellbeing too.” Other workers exposed to the elements such as those in the construction sector should also take extra precaution. “Be careful undertaking what might normally be routine work such as climbing scaffolding or working on roofs as the potential to slip or fall is sig-

Deirdre O'Flynn

MOSTLY MEN nificant,” says O’Halloran. “If driving machinery on a construction site, be aware of the risk of losing control of the vehicle and always be vigilant for the presence of other workers.” Although those who undertake certain types of work are more at risk to the hazards posed by the weather than others, all workers should take extra care. “Even if you’re undertaking relatively simple work outdoors, be careful and be aware,” says O’Halloran. “Be vigilant for workplace vehicles that will require additional time to stop and always be mindful of your co-workers,” he added, a timely warning considering there were nine accidents on the Dublin-Wexford N11 on one particularly cold morning earlier this year. This call for caution comes following an almost 25% decrease in worker deaths in 2009 compared to 2008 and the lowest number of reported workplace deaths since the establishment of the Health and Safety Authority in 1989.

DANGER ZONE: Farmers are facing significant challenges at the moment and are advised to take extra care Picture:Andrew Downes

Take vital first step towards better health

Use your head: start wearing a helmet

MAKE 2010 the year you walk for your health. That’s what more than 3,500 employees in 30 of Ireland’s largest organisations did in 2009 when they walked more than 800 million steps and raised over F9,500 for the Irish Heart Foundation as part of the month-long Smarter Travel Workplaces Pedometer Challenge 2009. “By counting steps each day, it makes it easy to see how active you are on a daily basis,” says Ann

HELMET wearing has been introduced for hurlers of all ages by the GAA. From January 1, senior players will follow the regulations already in place at minor and under 21 level which will see hurlers of all ages wearing helmets with faceguards both in training and at matches. Welcoming the GAA’s decision, Barbara O’Connell, CEO of Acquired Brain Injury Ireland, said: “Hurling is a fantastic sport but its fast pace can make it extremely

TAKE

TRESS affects your S health, relationships, work habits, your ability to be joyful and your behaviour. Some of the more popular New Year resolutions include losing weight, quitting smoking, drinking less, and being more positive. However, it is difficult to change your behaviour when your nervous system is in overdrive, say Lisa O’Gorman and Alison Smyth, homeopaths at Nelsons Homeopathic

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Scanlon, health promotion officer with the Irish Heart Foundation. “The good news is that being active for as little as 30 minutes, five days a week reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke.” The next challenge is the Irish Heart Foundation’s overseas walk in Santiago de Compostela in May 2010.

Dispensary, Dublin. When stressed you will tend to over eat, overreact, over sleep, over worry, become irritable and angry. To keep stress at bay: — Do something every day that you enjoy. — Have regular bodywork (ie massage, reflexology, shiatsu or acupressure). — Never take on more than you know you can cope with. — Get professional help if you feel depressed/ anxious.

■ Further details on the Irish Heart Foundation and the 2010 Overseas Walk to Santiago de Compostela can be found at www.irishheart.ie

dangerous for players not wearing protective headgear. While training or playing competitively, hurlers playing without a helmet are at danger of suffering head trauma, concussion as well as fractures or injuries to the face. “Unfortunately, some children and young adults think it’s uncool to wear helmets so it is particularly important for the GAA to enforce this regulation to protect our young people.”

DId you know...

Fit teenage boys are more intelligent than unfit boys aged 15-18 years Source: University of Gothenburg

Less Stress DENTAL forCARE 2010 BEST VITAMINS: B complex vitamins are essential to build resistance to stress, supporting the nerves and adrenals which in turn improve sleep quality and mood, say the team at Nelson’s, who recommend Bio-Care B complex with magnesium, F9.50.

RESCUE ME: Rescue Remedy, F7.95, which comes in drops, pastilles, and chewing gum can be easily popped into your handbag or pocket. A natural remedy made from a combination of five flower essences, it was developed by Dr Edward Bach in the 1930s, to restore calm and focus in everyday, stressful situations. Visit www.rescueremedy.ie for information and for tips on managing stress.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

STRESS REMEDIES: Nelson’s homeopathic pharmacy anti-stress remedy, F12.95, is a combination of homeopathic remedies designed to support the mind and body during stressful times. Nelson’s Avena Sativa tincture, F15.45, is an organic herb made from oats, which helps to soothe the mind. Taken daily, it helps to reduce stress and aid relaxation and sleep. Both remedies are available only at the Nelson’s homeopathic dispensary, 15 Duke Street, Dublin 2. For more advice or to mail order call 01-6790451.

CALMING BALM: Zum Rub in lavender, F9.50, is a beautiful balm containing soothing lavender oil in a goat’s milk and shea butter base. Pop the tin in your pocket and apply to the temples for headache relief, or use as a calming balm for the body at the end of a long day. You can also buy Zum products online at www.makeitnatural.com.

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Stay safe on the job

Deirdre O'Flynn

DANGER ZONE: Farmers are facing significant challenges at the moment and are advised to take extra care Picture:Andrew Downes

Take vital first step towards better health

Use your head: start wearing a helmet

TAKE

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■ Further details on the Irish Heart Foundation and the 2010 Overseas Walk to Santiago de Compostela can be found at www.irishheart.ie

DId you know...

Fit teenage boys are more intelligent than unfit boys aged 15-18 years Source: University of Gothenburg

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

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Megan Sheppard Do you have a question for Megan Sheppard? Email it to feelgood@examiner.ie or send a letter to Feelgood Irish Examiner City Quarter Lapps Quay Cork

I AM a 57-year-old woman where the symptoms are hair loss in patchand for the past two years es on the face, scalp or body without any I’ve had problems with pain or irritation. What happens is that the heavy, tired, gritty dry eyes. hair follicles are not recognised by the I have attended an eye spebody and so are treated as foreign bodies cialist who diagnosed sensitive eyes and — the follicles are effectively ‘switched prescribed on different occasions off ’ by the immune system. Artelac, Pred mild and Fucithalmic eye This condition can appear without any drops. Unfortunately, I got little or no warning, or there can be a family history. relief from any of them. My GP preFortunately, since the follicles are dormant scribed Lacri-lube eye ointment — rather than permanently disabled, the hair again with little relief. I attended an can grow back — the time frame differs acupuncturist who helped with my widely according to individual situations. sleep pattern, but, yet again, no relief. Stress is usually a key factor in this conCould my problem eyes be a symptom dition, so adding activities such as yoga, of the menopause? meditation, and breathing exercises to your A. I think you are on the right track — already healthy lifestyle should help to remenopause often brings with it many verse the hair loss. physical changes which are seemingly unA holistic practitioner is a must with this related, including dry, gritty eyes. Often type of condition, where little is underwomen neglect to mention this to their stood about the causes and a personalised medical practitioner because they don’t treatment is required. feel that it can be linked with the hormonal changes of menopause. Q. For the past few months I am wakAs oestrogen production decreases, so ened during the night with pins and does fluid production — which is why needles and numbness in my fingers. It vaginal dryness, mouth dryness, and dry is not there during the day but wakes eyes are all experienced by most women me every night. I also suffer from dry who are menopausal. People typically eye and occasionally dry mouth during equate menopause with hot flushes and the night. I am not taking any medicine night sweats, forgetting there are a myriad other than three sachets of Protelos per of other symptoms. week. Can you suggest anything for this There are also other factors which can problem? trigger dry eyes, such as contact lens A. Tingling and numbness such as you wearing, medications, or a drying envidescribe can be as simple as the narrowing ronment (such as artificial heating and air of the arteries in the extremities during conditioning systems). Some other health cold weather, or as serious as the initial inconditions can lead to irritated or dry dications of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). To eyes, such as rheumatoid arthritis, rosacea GREEN MACHINE: A blend of one cup each of fresh begin, I suggest you talk to your GP to and lupus, so it is worth ruling these out leafy greens, fresh fruit, and water for those not so rule out any serious illness. before deciding your best course of action. keen on drinking greens. Picture: iStock You could also make an appointment Vitamin A is important for eye health, with Dermot O’Connor, a qualified and can be obtained through a healthy acupuncturist, dietary therapist, NLP maswholefood diet high in fresh, dark leafy ter practitioner and Chi Kung practitioner greens. I often recommend green smoothies who has used a combination of acupuncture, contributed to your set of symptoms. It may for those who are not keen on drinking mind medicine, nutrition, detoxification and be useful to contact a homeopath for a congreens (I’m in this category myself). Simply stitutional diagnosis since there are at least 96 exercise to remain symptom-free of MS for blend together one cup each of fresh leafy the past 11 years. remedies specifically indicated for the treatgreens, fresh fruit, and water. Drink this as At the very least, he can help to uncover ment of dry eye conditions. your morning meal and you may be surthe cause of all of your symptoms, whether it If left untreated, eye problems such as you prised to find it often leads to healthier be as simple as weather fluctuations, side-efdescribe can lead to impaired vision and an choices throughout the day, and typically fects from the Protelos (rare, but possible), or increased risk of eye infections, so it is imkeeps your energy levels up for longer. You something more complex such as carpal tunportant to act now. can, of course, choose to supplement with nel syndrome or MS. Either way, he is cervitamin A instead. You will need around tainly the first person I would consider in Q. Within the last six months my facial 10,000 IU daily. your situation. hair has stopped growing in patches. It Essential fatty acids are also important for For more information on Dermot and his started on the chin and is now spreading lubrication in the body — you can get these range of books, CDs, DVDs, and courses very slowly. There is no redness or irritaby eating oily fish, or nuts, seeds and fruits based on the Healing Code and the Immortion of any kind at any time — including high in EFAs (avocado, coconut, chia seeds, tality Code, visit www.healing-code.com. To shaving. I am in good health and my diet pumpkin seeds, brazils, almonds, walnuts and has not changed in anyway. My GP does make an appointment, contact Dermot at his so on). practice in Haddington Road, Dublin: not know what is happening, and there is Homeopathy is useful when it comes to 01-667 2222 or dermot@acupunctureireno colour change in the affected areas. addressing the unique factors which have land.com. A. This is almost certainly alopecia areata,

Megan puts the spotlight on:

N A cross-cultural analysis of the relationship between diet and mental health, British psychiatric researcher Malcolm Peet discovered a significant link between high sugar consumption and mental illnesses such as depression and schizophrenia. The consumption of refined sugars suppresses the activity of a key growth hormone, BDNF, in the brain — levels of which are notably low in sufferers of depression and schizophrenia. It also leads to chronic systemic inflammation within the body via a number of chemical reactions. This impacts immune functioning and brain health, both of which have a significant impact on almost every bodily function — allergies, heart disease, arthritis, diabetes, cancer, behavioural disorders — the list is endless. Rather than considering inflammation as simply a risk factor for illnesses such

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Tackling depression naturally as depression, it is worth viewing it as the primary risk factor. Refined sugars and high-starch carbohydrate foods cause a spike in insulin release, and a resulting drop in blood sugar levels — causing anxiety, agitation, depression, mood swings and panic attacks. A diet low (or absent) in refined sugars, caffeine, and processed carbs has been shown in many studies to significantly reduce antisocial behaviour, and eliminate the need for antidepressant medication. Aerobic exercise is another natural method which has been proven to work at least as well as antidepressants for individuals of all ages, and is considered to be of particular importance in general wellbeing and the ageing process. Physical activity raises the levels of endorphins (the “feelgood” hormones), helps to improve sleep — crucial to emotional and physical health, and ac-

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010

tually increases the number of cells in your brain. Think of depression as an important indication that one or more aspects of your lifestyle require balancing: ■ diet ■ physical activity ■ relationships (work and personal) ■ time spent in natural environments — never underestimate the power of Mother Nature.

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010