Feelgood 11-02-2011

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Friday, February 11, 2011

l ia ’s ec i n e Sp nt on le i t i Va ed

Feelgood

Go flirt!

Fun ways to attract true love: 8,9

Picture: iStock

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BODY TALK

Put passion back into your sex life: 4, 5

NIGHT IN

We survey readymade meals for couples caught for time: 10

CREATIVE GIFTS

20 ways to say it on a budget: 11

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2 News front Kate O’Reilly WHAT’S ON ■ VALENTINE CLIMB: Climb the aptly named Cupidstown Hill in Co Kildare this weekend and join in Ireland to Everest, 32 Steps for Cystic Fibrosis. This Cystic Fibrosis Association of Ireland (CFAI) challenge will see a team of climbers scale the highest points in each of the 32 counties and some other parts of the world, before tackling Everest. The aim of this fundraising drive is to establish a National Lung Transplant Support Fund for Ireland. Members of the public are invited to join the team at various locations throughout Ireland and can participate in the easier climbs.

The Valentine climb will begin at noon on Sunday at Cupidstown Hill. For full details see www.IrelandtoEverest.com.

■ WALKING WORKSHOP: If you would like to get the maximum health benefits from walking, HSE South is giving a free workshop in Rosscarbery, Co Cork on Tuesday next, February 15. The Walking for Health workshop is designed for those who would like to increase their activity levels through walking and is especially suitable for beginners. Contact Valerie Murphy on 021-4921641 or Valerie.Murphy@hse.ie.

■ MULTIPLE BIRTHS: On the last Friday of every month, from 10am to noon, in Brú Columbanus, Wilton, Cork, Noreen and Valerie, mums of twins, offer their support to parents and expectant parents of multiples. Contact Valerie on 087 2171303 or valeriemaout@eircom.net.

■ SWIM NIGHT: The Whitebay Christmas Swim Night will take place in the Long Pines Bar, Whitegate, Co Cork at 9pm on Friday next, February 18. Outstanding sponsorship money this can be lodged at AIB, Midleton A/C No. 26071033 or Aghada Post Office. You can contact Cork Simon’s Fundraising Office on 021-4929410.

■ AWARE MEETING: The Mallow Aware support group are now meeting on the first and third Thursday of each month.

The next meeting will be on Thursday, February 17 at 8pm in Le Cheile Family Resource Centre, Fair Street, Mallow.

Anyone who suffers from depression or anxiety is welcome to attend. Further details from aware.ie and 1890-303302.

Aware are looking for volunteers to train in group facilitation. Contact the co-ordinator Kate Donnelly on 087 2993142 for more details.

■ ENDOMETRIOSIS MEETING: If you have been diagnosed with endometriosis and would like to meet other women who are going through experiences similar to yours, come along to the next support group meeting of the Endometriosis Association of Ireland. Partners, friends and family members are also welcome. The meeting will be in the Carmichael Centre, North Brunswick St, Dublin 7 next Saturday from 2.30pm to 5pm. More information is available at www.endo.ie, or phone 086-3203855.

■ HEART CLINIC: The Irish Heart Foundation will hold a free blood pressure and cholesterol testing clinic at the Family Resource Centre Farranree, Cork, next Wednesday from 2.30pm to 4pm.

Please email:koreilly8@gmail.com

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Around 500 babies are stillborn in Ireland each year. Research at CUMH is trying to find out why, writes Arlene Harris

Tragic end A

CTRESS Amanda Holden has been left devastated by the stillbirth of her baby boy this week. She and her husband, Chris Hughes had been keeping quiet about her pregnancy until she reached six months as she had suffered a miscarriage last year.

But tragically just a month after announcing the happy news, her “perfectly formed” son was stillborn at seven months’ gestation after she was admitted to hospital over concerns that her baby hadn’t kicked for a day.

An estimated 500 babies are stillborn in Ireland each year. Professor Louise Kenny, a consultant obstetrician at Cork University Maternity Hospital and her colleagues are currently involved in research to try and find out why babies like Holden’s die in the womb.

“There are a number of reasons why a baby may be stillborn but the biggest factor is still unknown. For the most part, the death is unexplained and this is what we are currently researching,” she says.

“Sometimes there may be a fundamental problem with the baby that was missed in routine scans, or the mother may have underlying health problems, but in at least 50% of the cases, there seems to be no specific cause.

“Almost 30% of stillbirths happen close to term or even on the due date,” she

BROKEN HEARTED: Amanda Holden’s baby was stillborn at seven months, shortly after she announced her good news. Picture:PA Wire explains. “There is often no indication and it is very difficult to detect but we do know the rate is slightly higher in older women. We hope our study will reveal something which will allow us to predict the problem before it occurs.

“Stillbirths are still very rare but I would

advise pregnant women to attend every ante-natal appointment, eat properly and follow their doctors’ advice. If they are concerned about their baby’s movement, contact a midwife or obstetrician immediately, no matter what time of day or night.”

Ron Smith-Murphy is the chairperson of A Little Lifetime Foundation, a charity which supports parents who have experienced a still birth.

“I hope that any parent coping with one of life’s greatest tragedies will find the confidence to seek information and support and also to spend time with their little one,” says Smith-Murphy. “It is a very short time frame to create memories, photographs or foot/hand prints. And funerals are important to acknowledge and obtain something tangible for the painful times afterwards.

“It is a lonely grief and a journey they will be on for the rest of lives but with good support and love, parents will find a way to navigate their way through. The key to surviving this ordeal is to find support. Just because their baby is not here does not stop them being parents.”

■ For more information call 01-8726996 or visit www.alittlelifetime.ie.

■ Author and TV presenter Christy Kenneally speaks about grief at the Clarion Hotel, Cork on February 26 at 2pm

HEALTH NOTES A GOOD RUN: Michael Greene, chairman of CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) joins broadcaster and athlete Jacqui Hurley as she launches a national appeal to women around the country to run for CRY in this year’s Flora women’s mini marathon.

Parents with young children will welcome a new e-safety activity booklet, Play and Learn: Being Online, for four- to eight-year-olds using the internet. Sponsored by Webwise and UPC, the booklet’s 30-page collection of games and activities helps parents and teachers to discuss privacy and security. Available in nine languages, the e-book’s help develop language, maths, social and cultural skills.

Visit: www.saferinternet.org

RTÉ sports presenter and athlete, Jacqui Hurley, has launched a national appeal for CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) to encourage women to run in this year’s Flora women’s mini marathon on the June bank holiday.

The charity hopes to attract 1,200 women of all ages and to raise F250,000.

Registration opens on Wednesday, March 2. Participants must enter on the official entry form. Call Lucia on 01-4525482, or email lebbs@cry.ie. CRY supports families who have lost a relative to sudden cardiac death (SCD).

New research by Pampers has found that Irish parents walk up to 3.2 kilometres per day lulling their baby back to sleep, or 96 kilometres a month. In a survey of 500 parents, six in ten cited lack of sleep as the most stressful part of parenting, with seven in ten saying their baby wakes one to three times each night. Forty-two percent of parents bring their baby out in a buggy to get them to sleep, and 94% of these parents

www.irishexaminer.com www.irishexaminer.com

Picture: Robbie Reynolds

walk up to two miles per day doing so.

For tips on good sleep patterns, visit www.pampers.ie.

A free service to dispose of unused or out-of-date medicines will be available in Cork and Kerry from February 14. The ‘dispose of unused medicines properly’ (DUMP) campaign will run in participating pharmacies until March 28.

The HSE and 240 participating pharmacies are encouraging people to return unwanted or out-of-date medicines for safe disposal.

Unused medicine can lead to accidental poisoning, inappropriate sharing and overdose suicide attempts. Last year, more than 260 bins, containing 3.5 tonnes of medicines,

www.irishexaminer.com feelgood@examiner.ie

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

were disposed of as part of the campaign.

The ‘bake for brain injury’ campaign runs from March 7 to 13. The annual fundraiser, developed by ABI Ireland, encourages people to bake and donate funds for those living with an acquired brain injury.

An estimated 10,000 people are impacted by acquired brain injury (ABI) in Ireland each year. Irish rugby players, Denis Leamy and Donncha O’Callaghan, along with former Leinster and Ireland players, John Fogarty and Bernard Jackman, are supporting the campaign, and their former colleagues, by putting on an apron and baking for brain injury.

For details, visit www.abiireland.ie.

Editorial: 021 4802 292

Advertising: 021 4802 215

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In profile

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THE SHAPE I'M IN

U

Una Crawford O’Brien

Girls aloud

NA Crawford O’Brien stars alongside Adele King and Flo McSweeney in Grumpy Old Women Live, a show that’s billed as “an orgy of middle-aged mayhem, 90 minutes of theatrical HRT with not a thong in sight.”

Una was part of the same trio of ladies who previously starred in the smash hit, Menopause The Musical.

“I’m having a great time with Grumpy Old Women. It’s really hard work — all go, go, go, but when you love what you do, you really enjoy it.”

It’s about a year since Una’s long-standing Fair City character, Renee, left the TV soap. “I miss Fair City. It was part of my life for 11 years and I loved it — it was just one of those fantastic jobs. But I’ve been told Renee has gone to Brazil, so there’s always hope — she hasn’t been written out.”

Una has two sons, aged 25 and 18, but is coy about her own age. “My age depends on my mood when I get up.

I’m over 50 — I will say that,” she says.

The actress, who grew up in Clondalkin, has lived in Rathgar for 30 years.

“I try to go for a 40-minute walk every day. I don’t particularly like it, but, if I’m stressed, it relaxes me. I either walk with a friend or stick my ear-phones in,” she says.

Grumpy Old Women Live is at the Gaiety Theatre, Dublin, until February 19; in Galway’s Town Hall Theatre from Monday, February 28 to Saturday, March 5; at Cork’s Everyman Palace Theatre from Monday, March 7 to Saturday, March 12; at Waterford’s Theatre Royal from Monday, March 14 to Saturday, March 19; and in Limerick, Athlone, and Killarney on dates through March.

3

What’s your favourite smell?

My favourite smell is freesia, not the synthetic smell or perfume, just the real flower. I adore it.

What trait do you least like in others?

Meanness — people who are mean-spirited and financially mean.

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What trait do you least like in yourself?

I’d like to be a little more tolerant.

Do you pray?

I do, but not in the accepted way. Like a lot of people, I pray when things go wrong.

What would cheer up a typical day?

My partner, Bryan Murray, who makes me laugh.

Helen O’Callaghan

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What shape are you in?

I’m in okay shape. By the end of this show, I hope to be better — the director has us jumping up and down. When I did Menopause The Musical, I lost a half stone.

Do you have any health concerns?

No, I don’t. Allergy-wise, wheat and onions don’t agree with me. Thank God, I’m fairly healthy, otherwise.

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What are your healthiest eating habits?

I don’t really like breakfast, but I do have a yoghurt drink and a banana every morning.

What’s your guiltiest pleasure?

I don’t really have any. I’m not really a chocaholic. I like a glass of wine with meals, or a glass of champagne when I can afford it.

What would keep you awake at night?

There wouldn’t be enough time to write it all down. I’m not a good sleeper. I haven’t slept properly in about six months. Everything keeps me awake at night.

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How do you relax?

Walking would be the main thing. Also, I knit. If I’m at a rehearsal, where I don’t have a big part, I knit. I used to do it on the set of Fair City.

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?

I’d invite my great-grandmother, Mary O’Farrell, who worked in Dublin Castle.

She was the first person to discover the crown jewels were missing, when she went in to clean the fireplaces in July, 1907. I’d love to sit down and talk with her about those times.

I’d also invite my father. He died in 1978 and I never got to sit down and have a proper, adult conversation with him. I’d invite my daughter, Sorcha, as well.

What would you change about your appearance?

All the lines that seem to be springing into my face.

MIDDLE BROW: Una co-stars in Grumpy Old Women, a show about female ‘middle-aged mayhem.’

When did you last cry?

Every Christmas, I watch Miracle On 34th Street and every Christmas I cry at it.

Feelgood

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FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

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Let’s get physical 4 xxxxxxxx

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We may think everyone else in a relationship is having lots of sex but for most people

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keeping the magic alive in the bedroom can be hard work, says Kathy Foley

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Close encounters of the lovin’ kind H

Picture: Getty Images

OW healthy is your relationship?

Is it hale and hearty, or weak and tottering? Now consider your sex life. For most couples, the level of their sexual activity mirrors what’s happening between them.

“Sex is a good barometer of relationship health,” says Rita Glover, the chair of the MSc in Psychotherapy at Dublin City University, “Low levels of sex can reflect high levels of stress and pressure, or a partner’s experience of being criticised and rejected.”

While popular culture may have us conditioned to believe that everyone in a relationship is constantly having lengthy bouts of enthralling sex, the reality is not so thrilling.

According to the Irish Study of Sexual Health and Relationships, released in 2006, half of married people reported having sex less often than once a week. More worryingly, 14% of men and 17% of women said they had sex less than twice a year.

Liam Lally, a counsellor at Accord, the Catholic marriage care service, says its 60 centres around Ireland delivered more than 40,000 counselling sessions in 2009.

“Over 60% of those coming for counselling listed sexual/intimacy difficulties as an issue in the relationship,” he says. “In 2010 this figure rose to 65%. The percentage was almost identical for male and female clients.”

At least couples who are struggling to maintain a good sex life know they are not alone. But they can also take comfort in the knowledge that it is quite normal to experience peaks and troughs in libido, and that most sex-related problems can be addressed.

“Most relationships begin with an increased level of sexual activity and intimacy,” says Glover. “But it’s quite normal for sex to settle into a comfortable pattern after a while.”

All couples need to recognise and deal with what sex therapist Suzi Godson calls the ‘sex thieves’, the problems that can damage or kill off your sex life. Stress is one of the biggest culprits and can stem from work problems, parenting, bereavement, moving house or even worry about the current economic climate.

Different events in life can radically affect our sex lives — pregnancy is a prime example.

“A lot of couples come for counselling after their first baby arrives,” says Lisa O’Hara of MRCS (Marriage Relationship and Counselling Services). “That is a time in a couple’s relationship when gender differences are heightened. She needs a lot of care, but she may have been the caregiver before, so the roles change. He might find it hard to accept that the baby takes priority.”

It is also important to remember that some sex-related problems may stem from actual dysfunctions and could need medical treatment. Glover cites vaginismus, dyspareunia (pain during sex), hormonal changes in women, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction as common problems that can be cured or much improved. Likewise, sexual aversions and phobias, as well as problems

All couples need to recognise and deal with the problems that can damage or kill off your sex life. Stress is one of the biggest culprits and it can stem from work problems, parenting, bereavement, moving house or even worry about the current economic climate with sexual addictions, can all be addressed.

“It is about having the courage to speak to your GP, who will be able to help you,” she says. “Sex is so good for you, psychologically, emotionally and physically, that everyone has to be encouraged to enjoy it fully.”

No matter what the issue is, the best thing couples can do for their sex live is communicate.

“Sex is probably the most natural thing we do, but one of the hardest things to talk about,” says O’Hara. “When we talk about sex, as in any conversation, we want to be heard, express ourselves and be respected.”

Being aware of the factors that block healthy communication will go a long way to keeping the channels open. When we recognise how we are being negative, we change

According to the Irish Study of Sexual Health and Relationships, half of married Feelgood

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Information at your fingertips

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HERE was a time when caring couples in search of inspiration and advice had to make do with a tatty copy of The Joy of Sex, hidden at the back of the wardrobe. Now, there is a plethora of sex and relationship advice available online. Some of it is even quite useful.

1. Moresexdaily.com: A site devoted to encouraging long-term couples to have more sex, with heaps of information, advice, research and real-life stories.

2. IrishHealth.com: Not sex-specific, but plenty of useful, sexual health and relationship information here, aimed specifically at Irish readers.

3. Mrcs.ie: While giving advice on the Marriage Relationship and Counselling Service in Ireland, this website is also home to articles and tips on maintaining a healthy relationship.

TOUCH AND GO: Couples struggling to maintain a good sex life can take comfort from research which suggests it’s normal to experience peaks and troughs in libido, and that most sex-related problems can be addressed. Picture: Getty Images

that, says Glover. She describes criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as the four main killers of good communication, adding they can kill off sexual desire too.

It mightn’t sound too romantic, but one of the best ways to keep your sex life on track is to make a date — with your diary.

“The opportunities for spontaneous sex can decrease as a relationship goes on, so couples need to plan to have regular, private, uninterrupted time for intimacy and sex. Even if you do not necessarily feel like having sex, let the mind rule the mood,” says Glover, adding that after some intimacy such as a sensual massage, the mood tends to catch up.

Be mindful of each other’s needs and how those might differ. “It is a generalisation, of course, but women tend to be able to go

longer without sex,” says O’Hara. “Men tend to pursue sexual intimacy, while women tend to pursue emotional intimacy, but they are both so important. You couldn’t actually say one is more important than the other.”

The only thing for it is to compromise and agree to give and take. “People of all ages have different levels of sexual desire and performance,” says Lally. “It is important that a couple’s needs and expectations compatible and mutually acceptable.

If you find you are struggling to bring your sex life to a place that works for both of you, consider seeing a couples counsellor or a cognitive behavioural therapist. They are comfortable discussing sex and will put you at your ease. Alternatively, one or both partners can attend counselling on their own to start

with, especially if depression may be an issue.

Remember, even the smallest step will help. Give compliments and show affection to your partners. Plan time together, even if it is only going for a walk.

“It is all about setting the scene and creating an atmosphere,” says Glover. “You can’t go from a cold, uncaring relationship into a good sex life.”

And the best thing of all to bear in mind, in these difficult economic times, is that sex is one of the best stress-busters there is.

“Think of how a small baby needs touch,” says O’Hara. “We all need that comfort and touch. Even if a couple doesn’t have penetrative sex, being close enough to another person to touch, smell, hear and taste them can be comforting.”

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4. Accord.ie: Likewise, the Accord website offers plenty of reading material for couples, in addition to information on its counselling services.

5. Relate.org.uk: This British relationship advice service shares some handy information on its site.

6. iVillage.com: One of the world’s biggest women’s interest sites. It has an entire section on love and sex.

7. Jezebel.com: For a fierce, feminist slant on love and sex (and plenty more besides), read this website, where the comments are as informative and entertaining as the articles.

8. YourTango.com: A peppy, youthful site with a light approach, but plenty of useful advice on sex and relationships, under the froth.

9. BlogHer.com: Look at the ‘love and sex’ category for articles from women around the world blogging on relationships.

10. Lemondrop.co.uk: Another light look at life, love and sex with plenty of entertaining news and views.

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Early days 6 xxxxxxxx

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Is first love really the magical experience we remember, asks Margaret Neylon

Sweet memories

M

Y first love was Dave. We met at a disco in England when we were both 16 years old.

We fell head over heels in love and, before long, I felt I couldn’t live without him.

When we were apart we spent hours on the telephone, no doubt driving our parents crazy during those pre-mobile phone days.

Our relationship lasted more than three years and fell apart only when I moved back to Ireland. It had been a lovely experience, until the break-up, and every now and again, out of idle curiosity, I wondered what had happened to Dave, though it was unlikely we would ever come across each other again.

Then, a couple of years ago, I presented a radio programme called First Love. It brought back my own experience of falling in love for the first time: the first kiss, the first date, the excitement meeting, the music that held a special message for us, the burgeoning love that grew between us. Not surprisingly, Dave came back into my mind once more. Little did I know that, across the water, something similar was happening to Dave. He was now living in London and, going into a bookshop one day, came across a book by a Margaret Neylon. He decided to check out if this was the person he had known all those years ago.

Of course it was, and we have been in email contact ever since.

He had married and had children who are now adults, and recently been divorced.

Though it’s nice to know we are both alive and well, I don’t think either of us has any desire to meet again. (Personally, I would hate to burst the bubble on my happy memories of that time).

Despite this, I don’t think we ever truly forget our first love, it will always make an imprint in our hearts. For something happens when we first give our heart away: the world changes. Colours are brighter. Life is more full of promise. Words engrave themselves in our mind and our heart beats faster.

What is it about our first love? According to romantic novelists, it usually begins with love at first sight, that certain ‘look’ that acts like a magnet. However, scientists from Face Research Laboratory at the University of Aberdeen would throw cold water on that suggestion. Their research shows that romance has very little do to with it, for that ‘look’ is more about sex and ego. “It’s a narcissistic thing. People are attracted to people who are attracted to them,” says scientist Ben Jones.

Like learning the alphabet, our first love stays in our memory forever. As the Saw Doctors put it in their song Red Cortina: “First Love Stays with you Forever” but what novelist Elizabeth Aston says could also be true: “One’s first love is always perfect until one meets one’s second love.”

We tend to cherish our memories of first love, perhaps remembering it as something very innocent. In our early years when we are searching for an ideal love, we may fall for unattainable air-brushed television stars and celebrities.

Irish novelist Patricia Scanlan’s first love was actor Paul Newman.

“It was the first time I became aware of the possibility of having a boyfriend in my life. I saw Paul Newman in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and had his iconic poster taken from

Feelgood

Our first love will always make an imprint in our hearts.

For something happens when we first give our heart away: the world changes.

Colours are brighter. Life is more full of promise. Words engrave themselves in our mind. Our heart beats faster

Picture: Getty Images

the film Hudd hanging on my bedroom wall.

He was the first person I saw on waking, the last person I saw before I fell asleep. Those startling blue eyes, that strong jaw. He was my ideal, my hero. Shame he was happily married to Joanne Woodward.”

But what is it like for celebrities to fall in love for the first time? Actor Katie Holmes dated her Dawson’s Creek co-star Joshua Jackson early in the show’s run. After the relationship ended, she told Rolling Stone magazine: “I had my first love, and it was

something so incredible and indescribable that I will treasure it always. And I feel so fortunate because he’s now one of my best friends.”

Holmes went on to marry Tom Cruise — also Kate Hudson’s pin-up — whom she had idolised since childhood.

Pop stars have been saying ‘love is a drug’ for years and researchers at Stanford University in the US have found evidence that the brain chemistry responsible for addiction also plays a role in falling in love. Both addictions

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involve the messenger chemical dopamine, which stimulates the brain’s ‘reward centre’, and it’s this that helps one person fall in love with another.

If you haven’t already fallen head over heels and time is moving on, is there any hope for you? If you’re an optimist, you may take on board an observation from Irish psychoanalyst Paul Gill, who says: “You can meet your first love at any age. It may not be the first person you are with, but it will be the only one who possesses your heart.”

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Psychology

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The unconditional love of parents is a must if we are to have healthy adult relationships

True love Tony Humphreys

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EMPOWERING WORKSHOPS presents

‘Creating Better Relationships’ EVENING COURSE AND 2 DAY WORKSHOP Married or Single = This is for You!

ME ME ME: For a relationship to be truly rewarding we must focus on the core person, not their achievements.

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O

UR nature is love, but when, as infants and children, we do not receive unconditional holding from the first woman in our lives, our mother, or the first man in our lives, our father, it becomes dangerous for us to express the fullness and lovability of our nature.

To survive the tragedy of not being unconditionally loved, the child has to find other means to attract his or her parents’ attention. While there is no replacing the real thing (the unique person of the child), without a substitute means of attracting the parent, the child would plummet into the cold darkness of despair, and, I believe, would die.

This can happen later on, when, as a young adult, our substitute ways of gaining attention cease to work. For example, it is not uncommon for a young man who is deeply insecure — so uncertain of expressing his true self — that following a breakdown of a relationship with a girlfriend, he takes his precious life. When his girlfriend ends the relationship, he unconsciously perceives it as a recurrence of the original abandonment by his mother (or some significant other) and suicide becomes the means of extinguishing the pain of this unbearable experience.

It is often the case that the ex-girlfriend may feel guilty and responsible for his death, but the young man’s dependence would have eaten into the heart of the relationship and, inevitably, the relationship would have broken down, or, if it continued, been an unhappy and conflictual liaison.

Infants and children are amazingly resilient at finding substitute ways of attracting key individuals in their lives: by being ‘good’, by working hard, by being ever so pleasing, by smiling all the time, by being shy and quiet, by being top of the class, by being perfectionistic, by being sick, by being the clown, by being difficult, rebellious and by controlling. Each child finds their own unique ways, and generally opposite to that of a brother or a sister. Indeed, there are as many substitute ways of getting recognition as there are children.

Sadly, most of us were not loved for our unique person and so, by the time we come into young adulthood, we have powerfully hidden our real and true self and have learned that the way to another’s person heart is through behaviour.

Consequently, in the strong, emerging need to attract a lover, we attempt to impress the person of our desires with being beautiful or handsome, sexy, athletic, clever, charming, funny, complimentary. We also attempt to impress with our exploits to date, our academic achievements, our status, our ambitions and the books we have read, the films we’ve seen, not to mention our interests and hobbies.

It is as if we need to talk ourselves into a relationship and convince the other of our worthiness of his or her affections.

More often than not, the person we feel attracted to is also experiencing doubts and fears about self, and as a result may be ‘taken in’ by the pursuer’s ways of impressing.

It is not that the person who seeks to impress is going the wrong way about creating a relationship. The fact is that his unsureness mirrors a disconnection from self that he necessarily created in the face of a parent not connecting with his person.

It needs to be seen that a parent’s behaviour unconsciously arises from his or her own inner disconnection. Because the disconnection from self occurs at an unconscious level, it is

7

• Understand the differences in how men and women relate • Know the fundamentals of a successful relationship • Learn how to motivate the opposite sex • The essence of flirting and attraction • How to nurture love in a long term relationship • Improve communication and resolve conflict • Build confidence and self esteem CORK: 10 week evening course Tues 1st March DUBLIN: 2 Day Workshop, Sat/Sun 5th & 6th March

Private Relationship/Life Coaching also available For details & booking see www.empoweringworkshops.com or phone Carolyn Curtis on 087 6419912

Are You Interested in Mental Health?

The SOURCE Group are conducting a new study about the mental health needs of adults aged over 50.

In the past few weeks have you:

only when a consciousness of it emerges can we begin to connect with self and with the self of a lover, friend, parent, or whoever.

Until that consciousness develops, connection with another will remain at a peripheral level. To risk a self-to-self contact is a bridge too far at this point in time.

Piero Ferrucci, a psychotherapist and philosopher and author of The Power of Kindness, distinguishes between two types of relationships — a relationship from the centre ( unconditional love); and a relationship from the periphery (conditional relating).

Peripheral love expects recognition and support, and lives in fear of not getting them. Requiring immediate gratification, it may be demanding, commanding, manipulating and impermanent. It takes into consideration only the surface — the qualities and behaviours — of persons rather than their core. It can often happen that persons who are the object of this love can imprison themselves in the jail of guilt, of responsibility for the others’ happiness and fears of upsetting them. However, if truth be told, these persons are already imprisoned by their disconnection from self, and unless they free themselves and emerge from behind their defensive prison walls, they will continue to hold onto co-dependent relationships.

However, the illusion that peripheral love will bring enduring happiness is shattered by the inherent lovelessness of peripheral love and groundless admiration tragically gives way to frustration and resentment.

It is not that love from the periphery does not have its pleasurable moments. Indeed, when these moments are present, it can be difficult to distinguish it from more centred love. But the differences are acute: peripheral love is conditional (a substitute for real love), while centred love is unconditional and frees the persons it touches, instead of binding them with responsibility for one’s happiness.

Furthermore, centred love is bountiful and permanent, and, as it originates from the silence of the self, it penetrates the outer shell, the thousand masks that individuals wear, the defensive walls they hide behind and it sees the essence of the person loved.

In the words of Ferrucci, centred love “is not stopped by the possible ugliness of the surface, or by the wearing away of the body, nor is it bound by boredom, by routine, by friction, or by any other event which may appear to render the object of love unattractive or less interesting.”

It is a love like this that would make the world go round.

Tony Humphreys practices clinical psychologist, is author of several books and a national and international speaker. His books Myself, My Partner and Relationship, Relationship, Relationship are relevant to today’s topic.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

● lost

sleep over worry? unhappy and depressed? ● or felt you couldn’t overcome your difficulties?

● felt

If you answered yes, are over 50, and have not visited your GP about your mental health, or used mental health support services in the last 12 months, we would like to hear from you.

The objective of this research is to identify new initiatives to assist people over 50 who are experiencing distress. If you are a service professional with such ideas, we would like to hear from you too.

Please note that interviews will be carried out by people aged 50+ and will be completely confidential.

If you would like to take part please contact 086 1906979

or sourcegrp@gmail.com, or write to us at

SOURCE, c/o Information & Resource Centre, Alvira Gate, Burton Hall, Sandyford, Dublin 18.

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Cover story 8 xxxxxxxx

Finding a soulmate

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9

A range of experts dedicated to helping singletons find love give Deirdre Reynolds advice on flirting, winning chat-up lines, grooming and the laws of attraction

A NOD, A WINK AND A DATE the same tone of voice, so that you’re in sync with each other. Couples who are in love do this unconsciously by leaning in towards each other or taking a drink at the same time.

“Anchoring is another good flirting technique,” adds Goldin, who also runs the Paul Goldin Clinic in Dun Laoghaire. “It’s a positive trigger between you and the object of your affections.

“For example, a guy might briefly put his hand on a girl’s shoulder while paying her a compliment and then again later on in the conversation, so that she begins to unconsciously associate him with feeling good about herself.

“It’s a bit like when you’re driving and a song comes on the radio that reminds you of a great holiday.”

Then, of course, there’s the time-honoured ‘double take’: “Doing a double take lets someone know you think they’re worth looking at twice.”

But is this all lost on Irish guys, who mostly have to have drink taken before approaching a girl, before she will invariably shoot him down in seconds? That’s the stereotype at least.

It doesn’t have to be that way, says relationship consultant Stephen Nolan of Kamalifestyles.com — whose masterclasses in flirting for men promise to transform even the most tongue-tied mammy’s boy into a real-life Romeo.

“Irish guys aren’t great at chatting girls up,” says Nolan. “They tend to either drink too much, invade her personal space or show too much interest straight away.

Most of the time, it’s to do with lack of confidence. In our masterclass, we teach guys how to have the confidence to approach anybody anywhere — whether it’s on the street or in a supermarket. I met my girlfriend in the queue for the Banklink.

“In Ireland, it’s not really the done thing to chat people up outside of bars or clubs. But I think lads here need to take a tip from American guys — when a friend of mine was in LA recently, she got hit on a few times a day, which she says would never happen here.

“Flirting is a numbers game,” says Nolan. “That said, if a girl has been unsuccessfully chatted up by 20 guys in a row — she’s probably not going to entertain number 21.

“A lot of guys are so

EYE CATCHER: There’s more to flirting than fluttering your eyelashes, says hypnotherapist Katie Jane Goldin.

Feelgood

M

ATURE student Georgia Brophy, 31, who lives in Galway city, turned to social dating site Maybefriends.com in her search for Mr Right. And 12 months and several mouse-clicks later, she reveals why she won’t be alone this Valentine’s.

“In my 20s, I had two long-term relationships that didn’t work out. So when I found myself single again about a year ago, I decided to try online dating. People use websites like Facebook and Twitter for social networking — so why not dating too?

“With internet dating, you can be really picky about the type of person you’re looking for. For instance, if a guy is too lazy to send me a proper message and photo, I write him off immediately.

“You occasionally get inappropriate messages from guys who haven’t even filled out their profile asking if you’re interested in ‘no-strings sex’. And once — on a different website — I even got a flirty message from an engaged colleague. Then again, I’ve found plenty of creeps in regular places like bars too.

“I’ve met some amazing guys on Maybefriends. One that I dated for a few months was smart, good-looking and funny — he just wasn’t the right guy for me. That’s the

desperate that if they approach an attractive woman, they don’t get the hint when to leave. My golden rule is to immediately let the girl know you’re not going to hang around like a bad smell.

“Start the conversation with something like: ‘Hi, I only have a minute because I’m leaving but ... ‘. This allows the barriers to come down, so already you’re off to a good start.

“Present yourself well and don’t drink too much if you’re on the pull — women won’t be rude to you if you’re not drunk.

“Lean in to talk to her, but don’t sit on top of her shoulder so that she’s uncomfortable. Refrain from grilling her with a million questions: ‘What’s your name?

What do you do?

Where are you from?’

“If you can flip the script and get the other person to start asking you questions

With internet dating, you can be really picky about the type of person you're looking for.

For instance, if a guy is too lazy to send me a proper message and photo, I write him off immediately thing about internet dating — you can’t measure chemistry by email. But it’s a brilliant introductory tool.

“I don’t think singletons should limit themselves to the internet either though — instead, that’s a very powerful flirting tool.

Try asking a leading question that will draw her in. So even though you said you were leaving in a few seconds, hopefully you’ll still be there in an hour. And even if she’s taken, she’ll probably be flattered.

Nolan’s biggest tip for Irish guys is that there are opportunities for flirting everywhere. “Sure, people might think you’re a weirdo if you start chatting to a girl on a bus — but deep down they’re probably thinking, ‘Fair play to him’.

“Women don’t spend three hours putting on their makeup just to sit there chatting with their friends — they want to be chatted up. And once you have the confidence to approach her, you’re going to be successful.”

Having brushed up on your flirting skills, you may want to put your pulling power to the test on the singles scene.

But in a country where ‘Fancy a shift?’ is seen as a perfectly acceptable romantic overture, are we doomed when it comes to dating? And unlike our libidinous

I created a collage on the inside of my wardrobe with images and words relating to my ideal man

L

I’ve also met guys through friends, work and going out. People ask me all the time why I’m still single, which can get annoying.

Anybody can have a boyfriend — I’ve just don’t want to waste any more years with the Italian and flirty French neighbours, why are we pitiful when it comes to seduction?

“TV and movies give the impression that single people are out there dating all the time,” says Anne-Marie Cussen of It’s Just Lunch, a dating service for professionals.

“But in Ireland, it’s not unusual to marry your first boyfriend or girlfriend. So you have this whole group of middle-aged men and women whose marriages have ended, thrown back on the dating scene with absolutely no experience.”

From lessons in flirting to dating agencies and hook-up events, Irish singletons are increasingly calling on real-life Cupids to help source their soulmate.

“While the recession has hit many Irish businesses badly, the dating industry here is thriving,” says Cussen, whose agency sets compatible clients up on daytime blind dates.

“Single people are still as anxious as ever to find that special person in their lives — especially around Valentine’s Day. We take on around 70 new clients every month.”

So what are the dos — and definite

SHY GUYS: Relationship consultant Stephen Nolan says Irish guys aren’t great at chatting girls up due to lack of confidence.

SECOND CHANCE: There are many middle-aged Irish people with no experience of dating, says Anne-Marie Cussen of It’s Just Lunch.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

wrong person. My perfect guy would be smart, ambitious and honest. I’ve actually just met someone and though it’s early days, hopefully I’ll get a Valentine’s Day card at least.” don’ts — of that all-important first date then? “We always tell male and female clients to look their best going on a date,” she says. “How you’re dressed is a reflection on the respect you have for yourself and your date.

“So wear your best ‘knock-him-dead’ dress and get the hair done. And guys, get out of your jeans and sloppy t-shirt and into a smart outfit — and use plenty of deodorant.”

And remember it’s only a date. “It’s not a marriage proposal or a job interview,” adds Cussen. “Think of it as an opportunity to get there and have fun — and maybe even find romance.

“Although we have had a few marriages and even some ‘It’s Just Lunch’ babies.”

If it’s wedding bells and nappies you’ve got in mind however, the Knock Marriage Bureau may still be your best bet.

Now in its 44th year, the Catholic introduction service was contacted by 250 loveless lads and lassies across the country last year alone. And even in an era of speed dating and online liaisons, the old-fashioned spouse-seeking service boasts 13 marriages in as many months.

“There was a time when speaking of the Knock Marriage Bureau was a no-no,” says spokesperson Canon Joseph Cooney. “It was seen as a haven for no-hopers. But now it’s very acceptable to use it.”

Maybe Cupid has some competition after all.

LOOK HERE: Georgia Brophy who says she has met some amazing guys online, shows off her flirting skills.

Pictures: Andrew Downes

FLIRTING TIPS

C

UPID is taking aim — but the diminutive deity of desire can only do so much.

Santa has his little helpers and the Easter Bunny can rely on Cadbury for a dig out.

Matchmaking Cupid, meanwhile, depends on a little flirting to help fuel his Valentine’s Day arrows.

Never mind a dozen fresh oysters — from romantic poetry to Facebook poking, the greatest aphrodisiac known to humankind is totally free.

And whether you’re 20 or 120, loved-up or single, flirting is a surefire way to ignite you on February 14, according to the experts.

But there’s more to flirting than fluttering your eyelashes and cheesy chat-up lines, says hypnotherapist Katie Jane Goldin.

“Flirting isn’t just about love or sex,” explains Goldin, author of ebook The Goldin Art of Flirting. “It’s a form of positive communication that can be used in any situation. I teach flirting to techniques to clients for many different reasons such as social phobia and stress — not just dating.

“Essentially, it’s about building up your confidence and making others feel at ease with you.”

Whether you’re trying to score a pay rise or simply score, the principles are almost the same, she says.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s your boss or a love interest — making eye contact is very important. Although, you don’t have to stare them out of it either.

“Try mirroring the other person’s body language — sitting the same way or using

DO: Make eye contact and develop a good handshake.

DATING TIPS

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DO: Put bad relationships behind you and start afresh.

DON’T: Act macho (guys).

DO: Use the person’s name.

DON’T: Depend on your friends to do the flirting for you.

DO: Pay sincere compliments.

DON’T: Sexually tease someone you’re not really interested in.

DON’T: Go on a first date expecting to meet your life partner.

DO: Be proactive — join a club, volunteer or take up sport.

DON’T: Raise conversation killers like religion, exes or other people you’re dating.

DO: Keep the first date simple and split the bill.

DON’T: Hesitate to get up and leave if your date becomes drunk, rude or embarrassing.

OVED-UP Jenny Grainger and Eoin Scolard, pictured below, who run the Irish School of Life in Belfast and Dublin, first locked eyes on a hilltop in Italy in 2009. Jenny says she used the Law of Attraction to lasso the man of her dreams. This concept, made famous by self-help book The Secret, is defined by Wikipedia as the belief ‘that positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative physical results, respectively’.

“At 40, I suddenly found myself a single mum when my marriage of 10 years ended,” recalls Jenny. “Rather than race into another relationship, I decided to take some time out to decide what I really wanted from another romance at this stage in my life. I was already passionate about the Law of Attraction and had applied it to other areas of my life like finances and career. So I thought: ‘Why not use it for love and see what happens?’

“I spent a few months getting really clear on the attributes I was looking for in a partner and created a collage on the inside of my wardrobe with images and words relating to my ideal man. Every morning while I was getting dressed and putting on my makeup, I’d look at my ‘Wardrobe Man’, and I truly believed he was out there. In 2009, I went to a holistic retreat in Italy. On the very first night, I met Eoin. It was a real eureka moment. We had gone through almost the same process looking for love — and when we compared our lists of what we were looking for in a partner they were almost word for word.

“I knew it was more than a holiday romance. Within four months of meeting, we had moved in and brought our two families together. Almost two years on, we still haven’t had an argument.”

■ See www.irishschooloflife.com

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Food survey

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Shelf love As Valentine’s Day falls on Monday we look at time saving readymade meals

T

HERE is only so much you can say with a bunch of flowers on February 14. But pick the right food, and you and your loved one will immediately connect.

For those with a busy work schedule, something quick and easy, but a little luxurious, is a good compromise.

Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is associated with seasonal venison, and venison steaks and burgers are delicious for a quick meal. Serve it with a green salad, sprinkled with pomegranate. Halve the pomegranate and tap out the seeds, scooping out the stubborn ones with the handle of a spoon. The bitter sweetness of the seeds are a good foil for the rich meat.

Use olive or sunflower oil, mixed with balsamic vinegar, for this dressing.

If you have time, over the weekend, try Asian shops for pomegranate molasses and add a tablespoon to the frying pan, with a splash of water, to make an easy gravy. This is good for pork and lamb chops, too. A little grated garlic

Roz Crowley is good and add some chilli if you like heat.

A simple, stir-fried vegetable and prawn or mussel dish with noodles is quick and easy, too. Use all your favourite vegetables cut into matchsticks. They will cook as quickly as the seafood. Add cooked noodles to warm up with some soy or hoi sin sauce.

Taste and add a little honey, if it needs some sweetness.

With romance and not cooking in mind, many of you will reach for something from the shelves on the way home from work. To make it easier for you to choose, we looked at the greatest variety for this survey, from the lightest sushi to the heaviest, heartiest stew. Here are our findings:

Picture: Getty Images

Aldi Oakhurst signature beef casserole, 500g F3.49

Lidl deluxe roast half-duck with pancakes, 600g F6.99

SuperValu Irish chicken and mushroom pie, 1kg F5.99

A rich, dark orange colour, this readymade, fully-cooked lamb dish from the Cork city outlet has plenty of large chunks of lean meat and fresh spices bathed in a sauce of coconut milk, yoghurt and tomatoes. The result is a genuine Korma, lively and interesting. It can be heated in a saucepan on the hob, while rice is cooking, but it’s also delicious with crusty bread for a really instant supper. Good value, there is plenty for two in this size.

Delicious.

Two frozen pouches contain tender, tasty beef cooked with smoked ham.

This gives it a richness, along with mushrooms and red wine, nicely reduced with pearl onions and shallots.

The taste is rich and meaty. Heats in the bag, or in a saucepan, while rice or potatoes are cooking. Creamy mash, or potatoes in their skins, are ideal to soak up the juices. Servings are generous and could stretch to more than two.

Excellent value and a useful standby.

Half a cooked duck, from Silver Hill Foods, in Co Monaghan, comes with 10 light pancakes and a package of sweet, hoi sin sauce. The duck (which is delicious cold, too) can be heated in the oven for 20 minutes and the pancakes steamed or microwaved. The duckling is nicely seasoned and the hoi sin sauce is nicely plummy. Served with a winter salad of grated or finely-sliced raw beetroot, carrot, white turnip, chopped broccoli or other greens, this is a delicious feast for two.

Score: 9

Score: 8.75

Score: 8.5

There is more than enough for two adults with this large, family-size meal. It comprises 21% chicken and 5% mushrooms, in a sauce topped with creamy, mashed potato. The chicken has flavour and texture, but the sauce has the harshness of cheap wine. The potato topping is creamy and crisps up well. With 9.5g fat in a 250g portion, a quarter of the carton, the low-fat chicken is offset by the sauce. Salt is high, at 1.5g per 250g. With vegetables, could be a pleasant meal.

Tesco finest classic Steak Diane, 450g F6.59

Dashi sushi, F8.50

Marks & Spencer Chinese favourites, 1.37kg F14.99

Nash 2 Go lamb Korma, 700g F10.50

Named after the Roman goddess of the hunt, traditionally Steak Diane was made from fillet steak, fried and served with mushrooms and cream, cooked in the leftover juices of the fried meat. The beef in this pack is not fillet steak, but is tender and tasty, probably cooked slower than frying to ensure its moist texture. A soft, smooth blend that is not too heavy, but is a satisfying mouthful.

Heat in the oven or microwave, but could also be heated over low heat on the hob. Fair value; good product.

Score: 8

Feelgood

Score: 5

Dunnes salmon en croute, 300g F4.

This new takeaway on Cook Street, Cork, also has tables to eat in. It provides quite a few choices and combinations. This selection of eight sushi pieces comes with fillings of avocado, prawn, crab, smoked salmon. There are cooked and non-fish choices, too. In the reusable, snap-shut box is a blob of wasabi, for those who like it hot, and soy sauce for dipping. The selection makes a lovely, light meal or starter.

The eight pieces are enough for two as a starter, or one for main course. Satisfying mouthfuls.

Healthy, too.

In a case-style cardboard box, we find all sorts of treats in plastic trays: 22% egg fried rice, 18% sweet and sour chicken, 18% beef and black bean, 17% battered chicken pieces with sweet chilli sauce, 14% vegetable chow mein, 10% vegetable spring rolls. They can be warmed in the oven for 25 minutes.

While there was nothing wrong with the food, and there was plenty of it, tasters were disappointed that, there was nothing special. Not over-salted.

Two parcels of fresh salmon with a cheese and chive sauce wrapped in a light, puff pastry. Both are cooked in a hot oven, 25-30 minutes, to crisp up the pastry. The result was light and crisp.

However, 43% pastry and 34% salmon is balanced too much in favour of pastry, and while enough for small appetites, the salmon is a little sparse. The cream cheese and chive sauce is not noticeable when cooked, but it keeps the fish moist. Quite pleasant for the price, but needs lots of vegetables on the side to add satisfaction.

Score: 8.25

Score: 6

Score: 5.5

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Lessxxxxxxxx is more

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It’s the economy,

CUPID

Celebrate your love without breaking the bank, says Helen O’Callaghan

I

N these cash-strapped times, Valentine’s Day can be hard on your purse. It’s big business after all. Andrew Cummins, Restaurant Association of Ireland chief executive, estimates Valentine’s Day is worth F7.5 million to the industry here. In Britain, a National Love Report conducted by Hallmark found eight out of 10 people surveyed would be sending at least one Valentine card this year, with figures comparable in Ireland.

But how can you be romantic without going broke? How can you save money without being a cheapskate and still score 10 out of 10 for romance? Here are 20 inexpensive, cheerful and romantic ways to make the most of Valentine’s Day.

11 If the rain stays away, Franc suggests driving to the nearest beach, gathering some stones, building a fire, wrapping up in coats and duvets and watching the starry night.

“Toast marshmallows over the fire and listen to the sounds of crashing waves.”

12 Write little notes about what your partner means to you, suggests Franc. Hide them around the house. Add a riddle at the end of each about where to find the next one. At the last note, have something special waiting — you, in a candlelit bathroom, soaking in bubbles with some bottles on ice in the sink.

13 Make your partner’s favourite breakfast and serve it to them in bed.

Include romantic foods like figs, strawberries or cherries covered in dark chocolate.

1 Make your own Valentine card and, instead of a verse, list some things you really love about your partner. TV psychologist Anjula Mutanda says a Valentine’s card makes the receiver feel special. “It mimics the emotions of the early stages of love — excitement, intimacy, hope and bags of positive energy. All these feelings boost mood, making us feel good about ourselves.”

2 Proclaim your love openly on Facebook, recommends wedding planner Rosemarie Meleady. “Write a nice message on her Facebook page on Valentine’s morning so all her friends know how much you love her and why.”

3 Going for coffee is the new dating trend, with a recent survey by dating agency Parship finding it’s how singles, on a first date, like to get acquainted with each other. So — even if you’re married with kids — make believe it’s your first date, find yourself a cosy café and make sure your cappuccinos have little frothy milk-and-choc heart shapes on top.

4 Been irritable with your partner recently?

On Valentine’s Day, decide to think well of your partner. “When you think positively, something happens in your brain,” says Lisa O’Hara, counsellor with the Marriage Relationship Counselling Service. “You soften.

You’re more likely to smile. Your partner finds you more approachable. You open yourself to closeness again.”

5 “Don’t feel sad if you don’t have anyone to share Valentine’s Day with — you always have you,” says Peter Kelly, aka Franc of Weddings by Franc. “Pamper yourself with a candlelit bubble bath, shake up a cocktail or two, prepare your favourite meal, rent out your favourite film. Plan for Valentine’s Day now — you will find yourself looking forward to your special treats — your quality time with yourself.”

6 Make a memory box. Take half a dozen pieces of card and write down a favourite

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11

14 Download from your phone or digital camera photos of your partner that he doesn’t even know you’ve taken. Make a montage of them or put them in an inexpensive frame, suggests Meleady. Alternatively, sit down together and watch a slide show of the photos on your computer. Enjoy the sweet memories.

Write a message on your loved one’s Facebook page on Valentine’s Day or if you are single try online dating to meet some new people memory of your time together on each. Include as much detail as you can. Present the ‘memories’ to your partner in a box decorated with a bow.

ner a CD featuring songs that remind you of each other or of events enjoyed together. Rename each of the songs so the titles resonate personally.

7 Find a romantic novel, book of short stories or poetry and take turns reading aloud to each other.

10So you are single on Valentine’s Day? Start setting up some dates for yourself. “Try online dating,” says Gráinne Barry, CEO of www.anotherfriend.com.

“It’s the cheapest way to find a date. For F25 you’ve got a month’s worth of dating prospects.

When you sign up within 24 hours you’ll have met 10 new people whom you can prospectively date.”

8 Consider what your partner might enjoy and give him that.

“If it’s half an hour to himself in the evening — when you might prefer to talk — give him that half hour,” says O’Hara.

9 Meleady recommends making your part-

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

15 Pick household chores your partner usually does. Surprise them by doing them before they get a chance (cooking/cleaning/ironing).

“It doesn’t sound romantic, but the thought will certainly count,” says Barry.

16 Plant a small tree together as a statement that you’re in this for the long-term.

17 Get the kids to bed early, advises Franc.

“Dress up and wine and dine in the best restaurant in town — your own home.

The best part of this evening — after you’ve had a sumptuous dinner and a snuggle on the couch watching a movie — is that you can then do what you can’t do in any other restaurant... I guarantee one of the best dining experiences ever.”

18 Present your partner with IOU coupons: I will make dinner, I will do the laundry, I will clean the kitchen for a week.

19 Make Valentine muffins together and decorate with a romantic message to your loved one. For recipe ideas visit www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes. We particularly like the Valentine muffins.

20 Leave a message on your partner’s voicemail, telling them how much they mean to you.

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12

Beauty

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For a classic treat this Valentine’s, everything’s coming up roses

Emily O’Sullivan

J

UST because the big day of love is looming large doesn’t mean you have to get involved with overpriced menus and fluffy teddies (what does a grown woman want with a fluffy teddy anyway?).

You can always stay in and indulge in a few lovely little treats of your own.

I’m not totally averse to symbols of love and one of them that fits quite nicely into the beauty side of things is the rose.

Traditionally, the rose is the flower of love, as you might guess from Shakespeare prattling on about it rather a lot in his sonnets. And while it does have quite a distinctive scent and is usually adopted by the kind of beauty company that is partial to florid floral packaging, rose-based products can have a strong appeal beyond the blue-rinse brigade.

If you’re after a more modern appreciation of the rose, then there are two things you can do. First, look for it as an ingredient rather than as a prominent scent. Second, if you are going for it as a scent, look to fashion-based fragrance brands for a cooler interpretation.

The rose has come on leaps and bounds as an ingredient in beauty products and is now a highly regarded component of skin creams and serums. Natural-oriented beauty companies, such as Neal’s Yard, have long been fans of the rose whose pedigree is thought to date back to Egyptian times. They’ve now got

The news on ...

BODY MOISTURISER

Scent with love

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I’m a big fan of L’Occitane’s Shea Butters, F12.50, and they’re especially good in winter. Containing over 95% shea butter, they’re about as pure as you can get in terms of thorough moisturising.

But, it’s hard to get excited about plain old shea butter, as wonderful as it is.

In an effort to jazz things up a bit, L’Occitane have now released limited edition shea butters in three scents — Vineyard Rose, Orange Honey and Apricot Flower.

Yay.

TAKE THREE PRETTY PINK PALETTES WELL, there’s only one colour to be wearing this Valentine’s Day, and that’s pink.

Thankfully, there are lots of pink palettes around that help you get the look without being all Barbara Cartland about it. Go for palettes that include colours such as chocolate, for a pink-inspired smoky eye.

Picture: Getty Images

some great rose products for body and face, including the Wild Rose Body Elixir, F32.82, the radiance-boosting Wild Rose Beauty Elixir, F50.95, and the Rose Formula Hydrating Eye Cream, F26.35.

Trilogy is a skincare company founded in 2002 and one of their star products is the 100% certified organic Rosehip Oil, F19.95.

In clinical trials, this product scored 10 out of 10 on scars and stretch marks, so it’s ideal for pregnant women.

If you’re looking for real skin indulgence, then my current favourite is the sumptuous Aromessence Rose D’Orient Night Balm from Decléor. Smooth this on at night, and you’ll wake up with baby-soft skin in the morning. It’s particularly lovely for those

with dry or mature skin.

And if you’re in the mood for stepping up the rose theme, then the way to go is a fragrance. Rose has traditionally been a bit on the dowdy side, so amp up the cool factor with Paul Smith Rose or Stella McCartney Rose Absolute — both use concentrated rose extracts with a modern effect.

For those who want to really want to go all out, there’s Annick Goutal’s awesome Grand Amour — it’s a scent inspired by the “serene passion Annick experienced with her husband, the cellist Alain Meunier, who would bring her a bouquet of white flowers every week”.

It has only a hint of Turkish rose, but it certainly packs an amorous punch.

Ila Face Oil, F66.20 from lovelula.co.uk.

It’s been described as a “little miracle”, and while we’re loathe to give it supernatural status, it does have a lovely effect on the skin. It’s expensive, but it uses the essential oil of rose damascena, which is renowned for its regenerative qualities. Lovely.

Annick Goutal Grand Amour eau de parfum, F125. What a scent, what a bottle! If strong, statement-making scents are your thing then this is the first in the queue. Go for the beautiful butterfly bottle and enjoy the mix of carnal flowers within.

Clinique Limited Edition Milly Pretty in Prints Palette, F34. This collaboration between fashion brand Milly and Clinique has resulted in a lovely palette adorned with a silver print and housed within a boldly-patterned pouch. The palette itself is soft and flattering, with an eyeshadow quad and a pretty blush.

Giorgio Sheer Translucent Blush, F35.50. The title of this gives the impression that you’ll be wearing next to nothing on the skin, when, in fact, this very light blush palette gives a pretty lift to the cheeks.

Bobbi Brown Pretty Face Palette, F50. If you’re after a good, pink palette for spring, then this is all you’ll need. It’s very well-stocked, and while it might be a little on the pricey side — it’s worth it for all that’s contained within — blush, eyeshadows and lovely lipglosses.

STUFF WE LIKE Trilogy Organic Rosehip Oil, F19.95.

This multi-tasking gem is great at treating stretch marks and scars, but it’s also a good one for smoothing over the skin at night for a more intense moisture boost. And if you want a more velvety look to your foundation, then mix a little of this into it.

Balm Balm Rose Organic Hand Balm, F7.22 from lovelula.co.uk.

Hands get it rough during the winter, and crocodile-like skin isn’t particularly romantic. Especially if you’re planning to hold the hands of another. This is also a great balm to help your mitts through the last of winter’s harsh weather.

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REN Moroccan Rose Otto Ultra-Moisture Body Oil, F49. REN’s Rose Otto Bath Oil has been a favoured product in our bathroom for quite some time now, Valentine’s Day or no Valentine’s Day, but this body oil is coming a close second. Exuding the same exceptional soft exotic scent, it’s marvellous at softening the skin leaving you ready for romance.

Decléor Aromessence Rose D’Orient Night Balm, F47.99. If your skin is suffering from the usual February angst, then this is a good way of injecting a bit of love back into it.

It softens and smoothes, as well as nourishing and moisturising.

Paul Smith Rose Eau de Parfum, F38. Described as a “potently fragrant, cochineal

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

pink bloom”, this scent was inspired by a rose London-based designer Paul Smith gave his wife for her birthday. There’s Turkish rose oil and green tea here, as well as violet and magnolia flowers.

Neal’s Yard Wild Rose Body Elixir, F32.82. This new body treatment from Neal’s Yard is already proving a hit thanks to its luxurious fragrance and great moisturising qualities. It’s enriched with wild rosehip oil, with antioxidant acai (rich in omegas 6 and 9), cocoa butter and Brazil nut oil.

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Male health

Tommy gets back in form

T

OMMY O’NEILL is one of Fair City’s core actors, having played Detective John Deegan on the popular soap opera for the last number of years. Yet he also lives with back pain, which originated in a car crash 30 years ago.

“I’ve gone through everything to tackle back pain,” says O’Neill, 57, who has also appeared in The Tudors, Veronica Guerin, The General, The Boxer, Ballykissangel, and The Riddle alongside Vinnie Jones.

“Sometimes, the pain would have been very bad, other times, it was just a niggle, but I’ve also been depressed with it, and at times was not able to work because the pain was so bad.”

Chronic pain affects almost 400,000 people in Ireland with a two-year waiting list for diagnosis and treatment. In 2010, a survey of over 2,000 chronic pain sufferers across 15 European countries — 101 of whom were in Ireland — found that 42% believe others, including employers and peers, doubt the existence of their pain.

The Pain Proposal European Consensus report also found that 25% of people with chronic pain have been accused of using pain as an excuse not to work. Less than half of over 100 GPs surveyed here were confident

Deirdre O'Flynn MOSTLY MEN they would know what to do if a patient still complained of pain after treatment. Wexford-based Tommy O’Neill has found greatest relief through working with his osteopath and through somatic movement, which he now endorses.

“I was put in touch with somatic movement educator Tara Dowling and I found that the stretching exercises really get in there,” says O’Neill. “They make sense and I have found them a great help. Over the years, I have learned to live with the pain and to do something to alleviate it as soon as it appears.

I do a lot of sport and mountain walking, so something often triggers the pain. I get my osteopath to re-align my back and do the somatic exercises to keep it good.”

Somatic movement is the exercise-equiva-

MOVEMENT MEDICINE: Fair City actor Tommy O’Neill follows the moves of somatic movement practitioner Tara Dowling at the Psalm Centre. Picture: Patrick Browne

lent of the slow food movement. It is a series of gentle movements and exercises that educate the body’s neuro-muscular system and allows for more ease and freedom of movement in the body. It works by focusing your mind on the body while moving slowly, and leads to a sequential unwinding of long-term holding patterns, which leads to freer movement. As such, it can be useful in the treatment of lower back pain, headaches, neck

Trinity leads the way in New prostate clinic at lung cancer research Waterford hospital RESEARCH into lung cancer that could help develop new treatments and increase survival for patients is being conducted in Ireland by Professor Ken O’Byrne and his team at St James’s Hospital and Trinity College Dublin.

The Thoracic Oncology Research group has established Ireland’s first lung cancer bio-bank, comprising more than 650 samples collected from lung cancer patients at St James’s.

Part of the research, which is funded by the Irish Cancer Society, looks specifically at how

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TAKE

enzymes that regulate blood clotting are involved in lung cancer.

The researchers believe the development and progression of lung cancer is linked to blood clotting pathways and new blood vessel formation.

Lung cancer patients are 20 times more likely to experience a blood clot than a person who is cancer free.

The group has already seen some exciting results, including the discovery that certain enzyme levels are increased in lung cancer tissue, with others linked to poor survival.

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ROMANTIC BREAK: Treat your loved one to a luxurious spa break at the C Spa, Ireland’s only Ayurvedic spa, in Westport, Co Mayo. Former RTÉ presenter Bibi Baskin has brought her Indian experience to the Carlton Atlantic Coast hotel, where the spa is run by a team of Ayurvedic specialists from Kerala, South India. Treatments at the spa include Couples Escape, F159pps. You and your partner can relax and unwind together while enjoying a warm oil Ayurvedic massage. The treatment ends with strawberries and a glass of champagne and also includes B&B and dinner. For details of other treatments at C Spa call 098-29000 or visit www.carlton.ie/atlantic-coast.

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A RAPID Access Prostate Clinic was recently opened at Waterford Regional Hospital (WRH)

by Dr Frank Dolphin, pictured, chairman of the board of the HSE. Recent reconstruction works at the ultra sound suite in WRH (which is the South East Regional Cancer Centre) has facilitated an improved co-ordination of patient clinical treatment pathways, through which a rapid access Prostate Cancer Service will

be delivered. “The suite consists of an ultrasound room, a dedicated private area for pre and post biopsy patients, toilet facilities and a decontamination unit,” says Dr Dolphin.

“While waiting for the rapid access prostate service to commence, the suite will be used for patients who currently attend for prostate biopsies.”

Establishing the Rapid Access Prostate Clinic means there will no longer be a need to admit such patients to a day ward bed at WRH.

with Kate O’Reilly

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LOVE BREW: Warm your heart with this delicate infusion of sweet floral aromas from Pukka. This blend of organic chamomile, roses and lavender is designed to help you feel grounded, relaxed and uplifted. A box of 20 teabags costs F2.95 from health stores.

and shoulder pain, sciatica, insomnia, muscular pain and tension and the aches and pains of ageing.

“For me, it’s a matter of looking at everything differently and finding something that works,” says O’Neill.

■ To find out more about somatic movement education, contact Tara Dowling at 086 829 7703 or email somatara@live.ie

DId you know...

Alcoholism is linked to later marriage and earlier separation (Source: Cardiff University, Wales)

Valentine treats IN THE MOOO’D: For a natural treat, check out the luxurious Cowshed range which includes Horny Cow and Wild Cow products. Horny Cow Seductive Body Lotion, F19, is a floral, spicy blend that evokes sensuality and passion with rose absolute and essential oils of patchouli and cinnamon. Or there’s Bullocks Shaving Cream, F18.95, for a smooth shave. Nelsons Dispensary in Dublin (mail order 01 – 6790451) stock the Cowshed range and for a Valentine’s treat they also suggest the organic cologne Dusk from Organic Grooming, F29.95. For details of other Cowshed stockists, see www.cowshedonline.com/

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FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

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SWEET TREAT: Oxfam’s Plush Luxury Chocolate Box contains a selection of luxury Fair Trade Belgian dark, milk and white chocolates; — F5 from Oxfam Ireland Fair Trade shops in Cork, Belfast, Galway and Dublin or online at www.oxfamireland.org/fairtrade-shop. Or how about giving your sweetheart an alternative Valentine’s Gift from Oxfam Unwrapped, like a bunch of sunflowers, F20.

By growing sunflowers and pressing them for oil, people living with HIV and AIDS can earn an income to put food on the table. Your gift provides the seeds and equipment.

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14 Medical matters

Q

Dr Niamh Houston

FAMILY

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Dr Niamh Houston is a GP with a special interest in integrative medicine. If you have a question about your child’s health email it to feelgood@examiner.ie or send a letter to Feelgood Irish Examiner City Quarter Lapps Quay Cork

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I SUFFER with heartburn and was told I have a hiatus hernia. Will exercise make this worse?

A. No, exercise will not make your hiatus hernia worse. However, it can increase acid reflux in people who are prone to excess acid.

Exercise increases the intra-abdominal pressure and forces stomach acid back into the oesophagus (gullet). When there is a hiatus hernia, part of the stomach slips up, or passes (herniates) through the small opening in the diaphragm that allows your oesophagus to pass through on its way to your stomach. This can allow food and stomach acid back up into your gullet, leading to heartburn, nausea, belching or chest pain.

A small, hiatal hernia doesn’t cause problems, but a large one can lead to heart burn and the above symptoms. It is usually acquired, but can be present from birth. Some people may be able to see a bulge where the hernia is present. If you suffer with frequent or recurrent symptoms, you may require treatment, which can include over-the-counter medication or surgery.

Antacids, such as Maalox, can give quick relief, but, used alone, won’t heal an inflamed oesophagus. H2 receptor antagonists, for example Zantac, reduce acid production, and while they don’t act as quickly as antacids, they provide longer relief. Medications that block acid and heal the gullet are known as PPIs, or proton pump inhibitors.

Stronger ones are available on prescription.

The weakened stomach muscle tissue that allows your stomach to bulge up through your diaphragm can be caused by injury to the area, or persistent pressure on surrounding muscles — from coughing, vomiting, lifting heavy objects or straining during a bowel movement.

Lifestyle changes can relieve heart burn caused by a hiatal hernia. Eat several, smaller meals during the day, rather than a few, large meals. Avoid alcohol, smoking, chocolate, onion, spicy foods, citrus and tomato-based foods. Limit fatty foods and don’t lie down after meals. Eat your last meal at least three hours before bed-time. Lose weight, if needed, and reduce stress in your life.

If extreme pain is present, emergency surgery may be needed. Repair of hiatal

HEART WARMING: To prevent heartburn, avoid chocolate, cigarettes and alcohol.

Picture: iStock

hernia can be done via minimally invasive surgery.

Q. My mother is in her 70s and recently had a fall at home. She wasn’t seriously injured, but it has affected her confidence.

We don’t know what caused her fall.

How can we prevent this happening again?

A. Falls are one of the most common health problems experienced by the elderly and often lead to a loss of independence.

Falls are more likely to result in serious injuries, and, given their frequency and consequences, are as serious a health problem as heart attacks and strokes. Falls can lead to loss of self-confidence and reduced quality of life. The risk of falling and sustaining an injury increases with age and is linked to early admission to long-term care facilities.

An elderly person with a history of falls should undergo a multi-factor IAL fall-risk assessment, looking at muscle weakness, balance problems or changes in blood pressure.

A physical examination should look at gait, mobility, joint function, muscle strength, neurological and cognitive function, cardiovascular strength, sight and footwear.

The risk of injury in the elderly increases due to osteoporosis, osteomalacia, stiff joints and loss of protective, subcutaneous fat. Dementia, cataracts, heart arrythmias, Parkinson’s disease, minor strokes and alcohol

abuse are just some of the many conditions that can cause falls in the older person.

Rising from a chair and walking around the room requires muscular power, balance, and joint-position sense. Inactivity associated with osteoarthritis can result in weakness of the muscles and loss of balance.

Elderly people should keep active and exercise as much as possible. Management of falls should always include an exercise programme, such as tai-chi, physical therapy or other exercises for balance, gait and strength training. Group exercise activities also provide the benefit of regular social contact.

New recommendations of fall risk should also include examination of the feet and footwear. Evaluating the home environment can identify factors that place a person at risk of falls: loose rugs/mats, electric leads trailing on the floor, poor lighting or wet surfaces, especially in the bathroom. The installation of safety devices, such as handrails on stairs, grab bars in bathrooms, can reduce the risk of falls. Hip protectors can be beneficial, too.

Cataract surgery should be performed, if necessary. Medication, including sedatives, antidepressants or other drugs affecting the central nervous system, should be reduced or withdrawn, if possible. All older adults at risk of falls should receive a daily vitamin D supplement (800iu). The elderly should be encouraged to keep active and to exercise as much as possible.

NOTE: The information contained in Dr Houston’s column is not a substitute for medical advice. Always consult a doctor first

I

Catherine Shanahan MUM’S WORLD Feelgood

T was time for the offspring of a couple of city slickers, whose farmyard knowledge is rooted in the lyrics of Old MacDonald, to dip their urbane toes in the mire of agrarian living.

With no desire for my child to be the guy who answers “From Tescos” when teacher asks where milk comes from, I organised their pastoral baptism with a friend who lives in the country.

All was going swimmingly until Lughaidh lost his footing. Ploughing headlong into a nasty tangle of briars, a volcano of sobs erupted sending sheep scuttling and clucking hens diving for cover. “I want to go home,” he sobbed. “I HATE the countryside. You said we’d see Tractor Tom. And where are the S..S..S..Sylvanian Families?”

Trying to rise above the wailing — louder than any lament alongside a sacred wall in Jerusalem — I explained Tractor Tom was on a road trip with Massey Ferguson and a bunch of anthropomorphic dolls posturing in campervans under the epithet “Sylvanian Families” was not a true reflection of bucolic living.

Unimpressed by my explanations he upped the ante on the weeping until cows in a neighbouring field took flight and the bull in their midst mulled over whether to break out and spear him.

If anyone, bar animals, had heard him, they would have presumed the level of hys-

teria was a prelude to amputation — and not the upshot of a very slight graze on the forearm. The wound was a minor skin break. I had a flash of a future spent in emergency departments with a son who believed every blow fatal and every illness his final one.

I directed him back towards the car, tears flooding our wake and one small arm held aloft least we mistake the victim for a healthy individual.

We returned to the farmhouse, where, with the delicacy of a surgeon, we strapped up the minor abrasion, stemming the tide of tears with a couple of biscuits, a favourite TV programme and a promise to bring in Bobby the Dog to inspect the wounded soldier.

Bobby the Dog showed too much promise for my two-year-old who squealed in terror at his boisterous nature and refused to leave the utility room, convinced he was going to eat her. Bobby was brought to heel and shown the door and order restored, much to my mortification.

“My kids are a bunch of wimps”, I thought to myself, vowing to steer clear of the countryside until they were old enough to realise that the secret behind a damn fine breakfast of cheese, boiled eggs and well-buttered bread is the farmer who rises at cockcrow to milk his cows, sow his grain and feed his hens.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

I want to go home, he sobbed.

I HATE the countryside.

You said we’d see Tractor Tom. And where are the S..S..S..Sylvanian Families?

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Natural health

Q

HEALTHY CHOICE: Celery is one of the foods that can help to prevent gout.

I HAVE a verruca on my heel and it’s quite painful and uncomfortable. I don’t want to have it frozen, burned or cut out, so was wondering if there are any natural ways to treat this.

Megan Sheppard Do you have a question for Megan Sheppard?

Email it to feelgood@examiner.ie or send a letter to Feelgood Irish Examiner City Quarter Lapps Quay Cork

A. A simple home remedy, which is going to sound a bit like an urban myth, is a blackened banana. You tape the inside of a blackened banana peel over the verruca each night before you go to bed and within three to five days it will typically fall out. If the verruca refuses to budge then add a drop of neat oregano essential oil directly on the affected area. If the verruca persists then it’s best to get medical advice.

You can also use this remedy with warts, and if you are feeling squeamish then just use the oregano oil by itself — it will take longer, but eventually works to get rid of the verruca or wart.

In traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), any skin conditions are seen as an outward expression of your internal health — there are many dermatological conditions which have been successfully treated in less than a month using acupuncture in particular. A good practitioner can read the state of your organs through methods such as pulse and tongue diagnosis, and it is common for herbal remedies and nutritional recommendations to be a part of the consultation.

Q. I have suffered with gout for nine years and hope you can help. I have been to doctors and specialists over the years, but it keeps returning no matter what tablets they give me.

A. Gout is an arthritic condition triggered by excessive uric acid in the bloodstream.

The uric acid crystals travel to the joints, where they cause pain, inflammation and heat in the area. It is common for gout to affect one joint at a time, often beginning with the big toe.

Don’t be surprised if you have a family history of gout, this is a condition with a strong genetic link. More than a quarter of all sufferers have reported a family history of gout.

The good news is that it can be relatively simple to treat since it is strongly linked with dietary choices. Avoid purine-rich foods, such as organ meats, herring, mackerel, trout, and meat/yeast extracts (Bovril or Marmite) which break down into uric acid in the body. Large meals increase the amount of uric acid in the bloodstream, so eat small meals more frequently and avoid purine-rich foods.

You should also steer clear of caffeine and alcohol, since both of these interfere with the removal of uric acid from the body via the kidneys. Beer is particularly rich in purines, so is a definite no-no.

You should also take note of any medication that you are on, since diuretics and

Picture: Getty Images

salicylates (such as aspirin) can inhibit the excretion of uric acid.

Drink plenty of pure water daily — at least two litres — to prevent the formation of kidney stones and help dilute the uric acid in the urine.

There is a blend of three herbs — watercress, speedwell, and wood betony — which a client of mine swears by. Use one teaspoon of each and brew together with two to three cups of water and drink this amount daily.

There are a couple of beneficial foods to take note of, namely celery, and black cherries, since these are thought to specifically help prevent gout. Of course, eating plenty of any fresh produce is likely to help treat and prevent conditions such as gout. As with other arthritic conditions, essential fatty acids are most beneficial — but stick to non-fish sources.

Note: Please consult your doctor before changing your diet or medication.

Q. I have been researching herbal alternatives to help my husband with his alcohol problem, and apparently there is a Chinese herb called kudzu which can stop binge drinking. Can you please tell me if this is the case, and how much should he be taking?

A. Kudzu, a coarse vine from China, has

Megan puts the spotlight on:

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EXT to flowers, chocolates are the most popular gift offered to loved ones on Valentine’s Day. While most people agree a box of chocolates is one of the most glorious and decadent treats to share, not many list it as a healthy or nutritious food.

Raw chocolate is a different story.

Held in high regard by the Aztecs — this “food of the gods” was used as currency — raw cacao has been used as part of celebrations and rituals, and for vitality, since ancient times.

Obviously, combining cacao with sugar, milk and preservatives, and roasting the beans, destroys almost

Feelgood

all of the nutrients and antioxidants, but, fortunately, there are many raw chocolate options available today.

Cacao, in the raw, is one of the richest sources of antioxidants available. While dark, organic chocolate made with 70% cocoa, or more, is a reasonable alternative, if you find it difficult to source raw chocolate, it pales in comparison to the antioxidant-rich, raw chocolate delight.

Because raw cacao is naturally bitter, it works medicinally to assist with digestion. Indulge your senses by making your own raw chocolate treats using raw cacao powder, cacao butter, cacao paste (also called liqor), and cacao nibs. Adventurous foodies can

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been shown in studies to significantly inhibit the desire for drinking alcohol. Two of the active constituents, daidzein and daidzin, are responsible for this effect. However, it is important to note that this is not a cure for alcoholism — it is a valuable support tool when an individual has chosen to take action with their alcohol problem.

Taken before drinking, kudzu typically helps to prevent binge drinking. It will also help to minimise the negative effects of alcohol when taken afterwards, so is also useful as a hangover remedy.

Using kudzu whenever the desire to drink arises can help with alcohol cravings, and is a useful support tool alongside an effective recovery programme.

If your husband wishes to use kudzu to reduce the amount of alcohol consumed before drinking, then ideally he should take 1000mg (1g) with breakfast, lunch, and dinner and the same again the day after drinking. Where addiction is being treated through abstinence, take 1000mg-2000mg twice daily (morning and evening, with food) for one month.

You may also want to look into a liver supporting combination using herbs such as dandelion and milk thistle, which can help to regenerate the liver and help greatly with recovery.

Raw chocolate start with their own, whole cacao beans and grind it down using a mortar and pestle for a traditional twist.

Most raw chocolate recipes call for dates, honey, agave, or some other, natural sweetener to make the bitter cacao more palatable without losing any of the health benefits.

One of my favourite raw chocolate books is Naked Chocolate, by David Wolfe & Shazzie — it’s packed with nutritional advice and mouth-watering recipes. Most health food stores are now stocking a selection of raw cacao products, so why not check them out and surprise your loved one with some divine, handmade chocolate goodness this Valentine’s Day.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

Combining cacao with sugar, milk, preservatives and roasting the beans, destroys almost all of the nutrients and antioxidants

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Crowley’s Opticians & Hearing Aid Clinic 26 GRAND PARADE, CORK 021 4271351

GRAHAM M. QUIN BE MSc (Audiology) Dip SHWW Dip Env Eng CEng MIEI MIOSH Consulting Audioligist

FREE HEARING TEST Feelgood

Offer valid from today until February 25, 2011

This is a wonderful opportunity to have your hearing evaluated by the top people in their field Government grant of up to €1,520 for P.R.S.I. contributors and their spouses

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

PHONE 021 4271351 AN APPOINTMENT SAVES TIME