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THE BEACON Volume 67, Issue 3
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Much Ado About Nothing: The Christmas Edition It is that time of the year. The banquet has been had, a tree stands in Stultz, and Christmas puns are written on coffee sleeves in the café. Christmas time is once again upon us and with it a whole host of odd and perplexing traditions. First, Christmas trees. I know the Germans created this tradition, but now we face the great dilemma whereby we bring a whole tree into our homes, yet will not allow our dogs to bring a single stick inside. This is unjust and contrary to the Christmas spirit. Next is the tradition of caroling. After the holiday of going to stranger’s houses expecting candy, we now go to sing songs off-key from fifty years ago in a large group, hoping we will be invited inside for cookies and hot chocolate. Even some of the songs are weird. There would certainly be nothing silent about that night in Bethlehem. And why do we sing praises to a Christmas tree? No matter how lovely the branches may be, this is idolatry! Next, Egg Nog. This beverage is synonymous with the Christmas season, why? You are drinking eggs and milk. It’s liquid scrambled eggs. Top it with cinnamon or nutmeg just for fun and to add a festive kick. This truly is an odd paradigm. Nativity scenes are ripe with cultural and Biblical inaccuracies. The stable should be in a cave, Mary should be in her teens, and the wise men were a no-show for about two years. Clearly artisans of these nativity scenes never went to Bible College. What else is an odd Christmas tradition? Michael Bublé makes his annual appearance with Christmas songs. We watch a green, depressed, social outcast commit at least 13 counts of break and enter, theft, identity theft, animal abuse, and lying to a little girl. And to top it all off, we encourage children to believe that an obese man will break into our houses in the middle of the night, and deliver gifts at 3000 times the speed of sound on the basis of his own perception of morality and how many cookies are left by the fireplace. Christmas truly is a time for weird traditions and lying to children. And with that I say Merry Christmas to all, and to all, please educate yourselves on the physics of flying reindeer. Noah Lohnes is a third year student in the Business and Bachelor of Theology programs. Fun fact: He can quote the entirety of Veggietales: The Lord of the Beans.
Keeping Up With the CSA Man oh man, what an awesome week we had! First and foremost, thanks everyone for participating in our various events and activities this past week! We’ve enjoyed seeing so many faces come out to our Cookie Decorating, to the last Soma of 2016, sport their fun Christmas sweaters, and join us for the annual Christmas Banquet. It was so much fun to contra-dance with you all! During a high-stress time, we hope that these various events helped bring some Christmas cheer. As much as we’d love to solve the problem of stress that every student is feeling right now, we acknowledge that that simply cannot be done through us alone. Lately, I’ve been feeling the weight of the end-of-the-semester projects, tests, and finals. On a pretty stressful day, the YouVersion app sent me a notification of the verse of the day: “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ,” (1 Corinthians 15:57). God reminded me of the victories I have in Him, and upon reading that, I felt at peace but also empowered. Gaining a whole new perspective on my scholarly battles I was facing completely changed my work ethic, and actually got me pumped about writing my accounting case (miracle in itself! Sorry Heather…). Friends, I’m praying that as the semester winds down, you would also be empowered by God and receive His peace. Anyway, best of luck and Merry Christmas everyone! I hope that joy surrounds your holiday season, as you’re celebrating the birth of Jesus, the King of Kings. I pray that He remains the center of your celebrations throughout the seasons. See you in 2017! Love you guys. Jasmine Wong is a 3rd year business student, and finds great joy when business-formal is a popular sighting at the end of a semester.
Photos by Brittany Crowell and CSA; lower left by Natalie Whitney
Interview with Professor Robert MacDonald
Q: What brought you to Crandall? A: The promise of fabulous riches and incredible amounts of glory was what probably led me here in the first place. Talk about bait and switch marketing. Actually, the opportunity to teach in a small business program. The program I was teaching in at St. Mary’s was much bigger than Crandall’s. We were a program, at St. Mary’s, of about 3000 and Crandall was a program of 24. Then the opportunity to teach at a Christian university: basically moving from a setting in which you weren’t allowed to talk about your faith—it’s just not permitted—to an environment where you are actually expected to share your faith, where you can integrate. I’m not claiming I understood what integration was and I’m not claiming that I today understand what integration is, but I’m enjoying the opportunity to explore it. That’s why I’m here. That, and the cafeteria food. Q: Would you rather have an ant head or an ant body? A: I find that question really objectionable because many of my best friends are ants. It’s almost like cultural appropriation… It’s a tough call. If I was just a worker ant, I’d have to take the body; those dudes are strong. They can lift like ten times their own weight. But, if I got to be the queen—which I realize opens up all kinds of gender issues that we’re not always cool talking about here—if I got to be the boss ant then I’d want the head. Q: What lead you to your respective field? A: When I look back, I choose to see it as the destination that God had prepared for me. At the time, I did not understand it that way. I often understood God’s will much better in hindsight than looking forward. I was actually working at CIBC seeking to get into the commercial banking side of the business. I found business very interesting. It seemed to resonate with me in a very personal way. I derived a lot of enjoyment from it and seemed to have some aptitude. That in part shaped my choosing to go on and do an MBA because my background was in the arts and sciences and not in business.
Q: Within your field, what exactly is it that interests you? A: I’m very, very interested in management, which largely deals with people. Management is a little bit broad in that it is about the management of resources, but one important part of that resource mix are what we call the human resources or the employees, the people. That side of management has always intrigued me: people groups, how these groups of people work together. And, in this particular context, the opportunity to integrate faith, to think about these people as being made in God’s image and what that means to the person who is put in charge of managing them. On top of that, the idea of the manager as steward, the idea that all of the resources are in a way not the organization’s to do with as they please, but they belong to God. Q: When you were younger, who did you want to grow up to be? A: I wanted to be an astronaut. In particular, I wanted to command my own starship. I was a big Star Trek fan back in the day. I think that shaped my early career leanings. Q: If you could be any other professor at Crandall, who would you be and why? A: Abram Steen. Because I’ve always wondered what it would like to be able to reach the top shelf. Q: What advice do you have to any students thinking of taking one of your classes? A: Work hard. Do the readings. Nobody ever does that, though. Nobody listens. My ideas and understanding of the integration of faith and management, for many students, even students who are Christian and have grown up Christian, that can be a very alien idea. Students who have grown up not as Christians often find it as just, “What is that all about? That’s kinda weird that you would see this higher power as someone to whom you are accountable as a manager.” So I would say keep an open mind. That’s basically all I ask, to consider the ideas that I’m going to share with you. I’m not going to twist your arm. I can’t make you believe. I hope that you would come to believe in what I understand to be truths but I just like to be able to have the dialogue. I think that’s what I think a good university class should be like anyway. There should be lots of opportunity for a dialectic to exist.
Interview conducted by Austin Jones. 4th year honours in English. Enjoys mountains, writing, and tomfoolery. Known to overuse sarcasm.
Letter to the Editor: Is It Too Much To Ask? I’ll get straight to the point. The second floor lounge is usually a mess. As the weather gets colder, people will be more inclined to stay inside. For those of us in Colburne House, this means that the second floor lounge is going to be in high demand. It’s understandable. Of all the common areas on res, it is easily the most equipped. This makes it very frustrating when the more juvenile members of our community throw responsibility to the wind. This isn’t strictly a case of all of us all dropping the ball. I know many people on res who frequently use the second floor lounge and clean up meticulously after they’re done. The reality is that a subset of residents has no qualms with living in a biohazard and feels no shame in creating that environment for the rest of us. Some may enjoy hanging out in an environment that smells like a combination of soy sauce and sweat, but many of us do not, and while I do not necessarily mind people showering crumbs and specks of sauce like grotesque pixie dust, I don’t have to flick those dried specks off of couch cushions when I sit down the next day to watch an episode of The Office. If you make a mess, that’s fine, but clean it up. It’s common courtesy. The fact that I even have to point out that people should wash their dishes, dry them, and put them away when they’re done with them is shameful. At least McPixiedust can be swept up. The science experiment that you see in this picture required a more responsible person who wanted to cook in a responsible way to chisel that beast off of the pan. Even an unwashed cup and bowl requires someone else to clean up after you. I am shocked that others do not find this embarrassing. Last year the RAs tried to combat this insanity through the use of “the Box of Doom,” where a random pod was drawn and forced to clean the lounge when it became unreasonable. This did not work. Neither did locking the lounges. It turns out that many people would much rather roll the dice than clean up their own messes. There is very little that our resident assistants can do at this point without collaterally punishing those residents that use facilities responsibly. It has given rise to much frustration. All this to say, living happily in Colburne House requires a concession that we all live in some degree of community. This means that some personal sacrifices need to be made in order to make res life more enjoyable for everyone. These are usually reasonable expectations and reasonable people will adhere to them. Cleaning up after oneself is the least of these sacrifices, so if you see someone leaving a mess behind, in the interest of accountability, I encourage you to call them out on it. This winter, let’s try to keep our lounges as clean and comfortable as possible. - Vernon MacDonald
I’m not really sure who reads these, but if you are a regular reader of the Soma article this update is going to be a little different than usual. 2016 has been an amazing year for Soma Church. It seems like we have come so far since our coffee house in January. God has been so good to us. I think especially of my time as the leader, since the start of this school year. We have had 6 amazing services with amazing speakers. Ben Trail, Curtis Hoyt, Jon Shut, Mark Mackay, and I all had the to speak. Angela and Braxton Jon chance Shut, Mark Mackay, andMacKinnon, I all had the Rachel chance Knowles, to speak. Angela Dearman have been leading unreal worship too. Rachel Knowles, and Braxton Dearman have been leading MacKinnon, I am excited to let you know that Soma has made unreal worship too.a couple cool partnerships! We have partnered with Teen Challenge and are pumped to let you know that the Teen Challenge guys will be coming to our services from now on. This is a great chance to get to know those guys and build a relationship with a great ministry. We are also working on a partnership with CSA which will help make sure that Soma is around Crandall for years to come! Thank you guys for helping build up this amazing church. We are growing so much and are so excited to see what God is going to do in 2017. We are going to kick off next semester with a huge coffee house that nobody is going to want to miss! We will have some amazing talent, amazing food, and are planning on filling the student center with people. As always, I want to invite you to come check out Soma Church. This is your on campus church! We have a blast and are on a mission to do something amazing for and with Jesus. Thank you guys for an awesome 2016; we will see you for an awesome 2017. Micah Knowles is a 4th year Communications student and Bachelor of Theology student. Micah loves Jesus, hunting/fishing, Emily, sports, Josh and Ben, and long walks on the beach. He once killed a chicken with a spear. If you want to talk to Micah about getting involved with Soma you can text or call him at 506-232-3319.
Wild Crandall Memes
(By Kristen Jenner)
Taking a Stand Against GenderBased Violence November 25th marked the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and December 10th marks International Human Rights Day. In between these two important dates, our federal government has recognized 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-based violence. In the midst of this time period also lies the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women. This is a time for us as a community to step back and think of those who have been affected by, to learn about, and most importantly to implement strategies into our lifestyle to work against gender-based violence. Gender-based violence is defined as “violence perpetrated against someone based on their gender expression, gender identity, or perceived gender.” Women between the ages of 15 and 24 are the most likely to go through violence that gets reported to police. We also know, from past news investigations, that on-campus student sexual assault reports tend to be unusually low, meaning that rates are likely higher than we will ever really know. Transgender persons’ self reports of partner violence are nearly double that of the average women’s rate. Those who identify as homosexual or bisexual are three times more likely than heterosexual persons to self-report having experienced being a victim of violence. Indigenous women are three times more likely to be victims of violence than non-Indigenous women or men. These stats should shake something inside of us. It is up to us as citizens to better our society and to create further equality in our community, our city, and our country. Particularly as university students on campus, gender-based violence is an extremely important topic to think about and should inform the way we act and live. If everyone makes little lifestyle changes, we can take a huge stand against gender-based violence. Speak up against sexist talk and if you think a friend is being abused or abusing, talk to them. Don’t stand by or ignore. You have the power to change someone’s life for the better. Victoria Dempster is a 3rd year Sociology Major. She enjoys running, reading, and scenic drives. Her favourite author is Margaret Atwood and her favourite place to be is by the ocean.
Crandall Poll Asking Crandall students for feedback on poll questions was a great idea. Now, the hard part is writing an article about the answers without giving away too much of what is to come in future articles! There were several wonderful responses from safety concerns, to favourite late night study snacks, to residence life improvements. But my personal favourite—and the next poll question—is “If Sheldon MacLeod were a cookie, what kind of cookie would he be?” I would like to applaud the person who suggested this; thank you for inspiring me with your creativity and concern for Sheldon. For those of you who don’t know, Sheldon MacLeod is the VP of Student Services here at Crandall, and I’m sure that he would love to know what type of cookie he is. So please, we need you enlighten us and the other students here at Crandall. The world needs to know! Curtis Hoyt is a 4th year Biology major who recently discovered a type of cheese that doesn’t melt when you fry it (Halloumi cheese). He recommends it to anyone who loves cheese and is not lactose intolerant.
Dystopia Now The Great Coffee Scam Though I occasionally enjoy their bagels and doughnuts, Tim Horton’s is basically a huge swindle. Since the chain is named after a hockey player, the company can get away with installing a Tim Horton’s kiosk in every single hockey arena in Canada. Additionally, the quality in Tim Horton’s food, coffee, etc. has been noticeably decreasing – leading to many customers opting for McDonald’s coffee. I’m not a coffee-drinker myself, yet, I’m well aware of the dispute surrounding Tim’s and McDonald’s because Moncton is a city populated by fervent coffee drinkers. In fact, the people of Moncton drink so much coffee that the myriad of Tim’s cups littering the streets could easily comprise half of the city’s garbage. It’s no wonder Moncton was recently named the Tim Horton’s capital of Canada. See this article on the CBC website:
Christian Arsenault is a third-year English/Education major. He can usually be found playing Runescape on World 72 near the Barbarian Village.
Wild Crandall Memes:
(By Rachel Sharp and Julia McLearn)
Unity The end of October brought the end of soccer, cross country, and baseball season, but it also brought the start of basketball season. December 4, 2016 was the final basketball game for the semester and the sport will pick up again after the Christmas break. The season has brought some wins and some losses for the first eight games of the season. Starting a new season always comes with its challenges for teams. There is the adjustment to a new team as old players have moved on and new players have joined the team. Naturally any team will struggle with unity as they figure out how each member plays. Even though unity can be difficult it is necessary for the success of any team. Each player has to learn their position on the court and play it to the best of their ability, yet unity goes beyond simply playing one’s position, it also involves communication, building each other up, and trust. If a team did not work together as a whole, it would fall apart. The need for unity goes beyond playing a team sport. As Christians, unity is something that needs to be in our day-to-day lives. In Romans 12:4-5, Paul commands us to be unified, because “Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.� We each need to play our part, but work together with a common goal of glorifying God. Paul goes on in Romans 12:6-8 listing different gifts God has given people such as encouraging, serving, teaching, giving generously and leadership. These should also be brought into our playing sports. If your gift is encouragement, encourage team members who may feel discouraged about their performance during a game. If it is teaching and you see a team member struggling with a skill, take time to help them grasp the skill better. Unity is not always easy, but is worth it once a team is able to come together. Shauna Albinet is a fourth-year History/Education major. She loves doodling, sewing, sports, traveling, and needs her coffee first thing in the morning.
Wild Crandall Memes
Leah Eisener is a second-year Interdisciplinary student who laughs at her own jokes and enjoys memes more than the company of others.
Merry Christmas from our Faculty and Staff! -
All the best on your exams!
Crandall University
My Patronus:
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By Moriah Ohlhauser (And remaining the property of)
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SHALLNOT Who We Are
Some others say that human beings have “free�
Thou shalt not be silenced. Shallnot is designed to be a
will, but that it is subject to or subjected within the
forum for students to express their ideas through
greater context of the divine will. Such statements are
poetry, prose, and visual art. Submissions will be edited
intellectual throw aways and offensive to any sincere
only in conversation with the author.
seeker of truth. They are completely nonsensical,
-
Dani Reimer, Editor
since that which is truly free cannot be simultaneously subject on an essential level. At best,
Love me as I am You know my body's broken and you know my heart's the same. As much as I may try to, you know I'll never change. My self-esteem is lacking and obnoxious is my laugh. But despite all of the bad I see you love me as I am. You make me smile brightly and make me laugh my cares away. And although the time flies by with you I know I'll be with you many a day. Days, and weeks, and months, and years as many as I can. I want to spend them by your side having you love me as I am. -
LittleLostPan
this is an attempt to reconcile two mutually exclusive realities, free will and predestination, and since clarity cannot be arrived at from the foundation laid, the conclusion falls into the senseless, contradicting, self-negating nothingness that is paradox. At worst this is a flippant appeasement born from a spirit of disdain. This is an absolutely useless position, creating more problems for those who reflect, and it ends in despair. It is highly decorated falsehood, but falsehood it remains. The only hope I see is to say we have a true, independent free will that is not subject on any essential level by Allah. We will what we will, not what is willed for us. We intend what we intend, not what is intended for us. Allah loves us. He wants good and beauty for us, and more than that, Allah wants us and He wants us to want Him. My want for Him is my own true want, free from any compulsion, subjugation, intimidation, coercion, force, or
Faith and Free Will: Some people would say that humans have no will of their own at all, and that they are simply compelled by Allah to be either good or bad. Such a wicked idea renders concepts of good and bad superficial curiosities bereft of any true meaningfulness. It reduces humanity to some valueless pass time meant to appease the callous boredom of the divine. This only leads to despair and it is falsehood.
obligation. He has given me life, agency, and freedom, and because I am stricken by the constantly unfolding awareness that He has wanted, desired, and loved me with a constant devotion from eternity, long before I even wanted, desired, or loved myself, I willingly choose with every awe inspiring realization of utter knee bending gratitude to be held completely and willfully captive by His Love. -
Yusuf William
Cemetery Smiles My teeth shine like the white marble tombstones In a well-kept cemetery Where the grass is always neatly, viciously short And the smell of expensive flowers hangs heavy in the air
Waiting Outside the Line There was a line. Where every day I was in fear Only God knew my misery. Never knowing when the next violent attack would come. His voices soon became the only thing I could hear. Even when I wasn't around him
Her smile is like one of those seaside graveyards
In my head his words were carried everywhere
Where the land has sunk in strange places
And after two attempts of asking for help. The social
And the markers are all higgledy-piggledy
workers denied any crime. All that was left was more
And sometimes hardly readable.
and more deny. Saying they couldn’t do anything until
Some lean over the ocean
he admits to it
Like they’re absently contemplating suicide.
They took so long to get involved. That the physical
No one is buried there anymore
bruises had healed. I pleaded with them, but no one
(Except perhaps a dead bird or fish
listened to me,
Buried with incongruous solemnity by a group of children) A month after the case was closed. I was kicked out, A And it’s quiet and still. youth care facility by the name of Chrysalis House took But when she smiles
me in
She is far more beautiful than I
They didn't have to. I didn't meet the requirements
Because she means every crooked tombstone tooth
According to the files everything was fine
With an honesty that makes me gasp
But it's easy for the police to say.
Like I am one of her tombstones
When the pain was only mine. And the law stated I had to
That has finally given into gravity And fallen to the depths. -
Trochaic
be out of my parents house for 3 months to get funding I don't know where I would be if it weren't for them They were kind to me like no one else had been Although sadly temporary, they were my real home. First
The Bloody Red Pen He picked it apart His red pen scraped over the Bones of the body of my beloved essay, Of Shakespearian sonnets, and Donne's Metaphysical conceits, His red pen mercilessly ravished my hard work, My endless hours of scholastic toil: But to no avail: the red pen was the blood that Dripped droplets on my veil, my thesis, to be sure, Is now all but mangled ligatures, I hold my head high despite the travesty of nigh Collapse, the bloody pen...the terror of the student Is the sword of the professor. -
Shane Dickie
people who loved me and residents who are forever tucked in my heart Staff who always make you laugh and support you through it all. They changed my life. It's not easy being where I've been. God loved me so much that although He let me go through that. He had a reason I could have never foreseen. And now one of my greatest blessings Is that I have gotten to know a time there Although there was a lot of pain preceding it. A lot of scars, and hurt foregoing this. But there was so many good times rising from it. And so many memories that are worth the pain a thousand times. And now I know why I'm here -
CathyButterflyJC
I sit and wait
Heart of Elysium:
I sit. I wait. The sun shines through Yellow leaves. Not to please. If you please. It's not for me. I sit and wait. The sun shines still What day, what thrill. Not to please. Not for me. leaves glow golden light seeps shines revives white bark cracked illuminated deeply contrasted Prominent in the eye mind scene Shadows dance wavering wind Falling, falling, falling Still. I sit and wait. -
Austin Jones
Teacher I merrily walked along a familiar path, I tripped on a stone set in the mud, a stone I failed to see, My first instinct was to curse the rock, -
Merrily, I set off again on my trek,
Moriah Ohlhauser
Only to trip on another stone.
Where do we go from here, darling? Now that we’ve
I did not know whether to hoolar or to moan,
walked to the ends of the earth, side by side. Where
Yet this time I understood,
does that wild, little heart yearn to be? Take me by
Instead of cursing, I chose to give the venerable rock a
the hand, and I’ll venture with you one more time.
name. The name I gave it was “Teacher.” -
Shane Dickie
We’ll count the steps here and back. Let’s journey once more, to a land unknown to us. Let’s travel the world, and in the morning, we’ll do it all over again. -
N.F.
Shallnot exists to express the views of all students from all walks of life. If you or someone you know has something to say—whether through pictures, essays, short stories, cartoons, poetry or any other form of art—please contact us at crandallbeacon@gmail.com with submissions. All content unless otherwise stated is property of the original author and was reproduced with permission.