www.thebestyoumagazine.co
THE BEST YOU TRANSFORM • MOTIVATE • ENRICH • EMPOWER • ENJOY MARCH/APRIL 2016 Price £5.99
Be Inspired
THE BEST YOU
EXPO INSIDE
BEHIIND THE SCENES AT THE UK’S PREMIER PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT SHOW
BARBARA DE ANGELIS SOUL SHIFTING WITH HER LONDON FANS
SIR CLIVE WOODWARD DISCOVER WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A CHAMPION
ROBERT HOLDEN
WHY WHAT’S MISSING IN YOUR LIFE IS... YOU!
JASON VALE
HOW TO GET THE BODY YOU WANT FOR GOOD
PLUS: RETHINK YOUR MONEY RULES
www.thebestyoumagazine.co
THE BEST YOU TRANSFORM • MOTIVATE • ENRICH • EMPOWER • ENJOY MARCH/APRIL 2016 Price £5.99
Be Inspired
THE BEST YOU
EXPO INSIDE
BEHIIND THE SCENES AT THE UK’S PREMIER PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT SHOW
BARBARA DE ANGELIS SOUL SHIFTING WITH HER LONDON FANS
SIR CLIVE WOODWARD DISCOVER WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A CHAMPION
ROBERT HOLDEN
WHY WHAT’S MISSING IN YOUR LIFE IS... YOU!
JASON VALE
HOW TO GET THE BODY YOU WANT FOR GOOD
PLUS: RETHINK YOUR MONEY RULES
EDITOR’S LETTER - BERNARDO MOYA
BERNARDO MOYA EDITOR-IN-CHIEF FOLLOW ME: @BERNARDO_MOYA
NEXT STEPS... We have just completed our first personal development Expo, and I would like to thank all of those who supported us, exhibited, spoke at the event or came along to attend and find out more about The Best You. I also want to thank my team, for their support, loyalty, belief, hard work and patience. I have been overwhelmed with the great reviews that we have received from everyone, and we can’t wait for next year to develop the Expo even further.
development can come together to meet, engage and exchange ideas. But I am a great believer that things happen when the time is right. As you get older, you understand that you can’t push things, they need to fall into place – it’s something that several of our speakers spoke about at the Expo. Now The Best You is ready to export its Expos all over the world and publish our magazine in as many languages as possible.
Something that many people have pointed out about the event was the great energy that they experienced, and it’s something that we felt too.
So, in this special issue of The Best You, we share many of the insights and wisdom that our great speakers shared on stage at our first ever event.
The truth is, The Best You Expo was amazing. Of course we can improve (and we will) but the fact is that we created a festival of learning and sharing ideas. I am truly blessed and thankful that we were able to make it a reality.
And if you missed the Expo, don’t worry – you can still buy our video recordings to enjoy the amazing speakers who shared their expertise with us at the show.
Someone asked me how long I have been thinking about creating The Best You Expo, and the truth is for a long time, since I launched The Best You Magazine, nearly four years ago. The fact is something like this was needed, a place where authors, experts and people passionate about personal
Finally, if you would like to speak or exhibit next year, or if you would like to partner with The Best You and join our amazing journey, please contact me or my team to find out more about the opportunities that are available. I would love to see how together we can make the world a better place.
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THE BEST YOU CONTENTS | MARCH/APRIL 2016 | EXPO EDITION
REGULARS 03
EDITOR’S LETTER
Bernardo Moya welcomes you to this month’s issue
of The Best You
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WERE YOU PART OF THE BEST YOU EXPO?
The speakers, the exhibitors, the visitors who took a journey of personal development at The Best You Expo
THE GREAT MIND SEMINAR 16
MICHAEL NEILL It’s time to work with the universe
18 DR BARBARA DE ANGELIS
The personal development star in London
22 KELLE BRYAN
From pop stardom to talent agent
24 DANIEL PRIESTLEY
Advice on growing a million-pound business
26 GILL FIELDING
It’s time to rethink all you know about money
28
SIR CLIVE WOODWARD
18 DR BARBARA DE ANGELIS A spiritual awakening
The coach reveals his champion formula
32 ROBERT HOLDEN
Why happiness is the most important thing
34 JASON VALE
Tells his amazing story of transformation
36 JANEY LEE GRACE
How to build your own brand
38 BERNARDO MOYA
From a vision to reality, The Best You founder shares the path to personal development success
To enjoy additional digital content, video and online galleries, please download
The Best You App
34 JASON VALE Mixing it up
EDITOR/PUBLISHER Bernardo Moya DEPUTY EDITOR Daska Davis GRAPHIC DESIGNER Monica Notarnicola MEDIA DIRECTOR Allan Banford
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THE BEST YOU CONTENTS | MARCH/APRIL 2016 | EXPO EDITION
THE BEST PRACTITIONERS WORKSHOPS 42
DARREN STANTON
44
PAUL BOROSS
The human lie detector previews his exciting new documentary, The Game
The pitch doctor reveals all you need to know about making a good impression, next time you present
46
MATT KENDALL
Why your website could be the best way to market your coaching practice
48
STEVE CONSALVEZ
50
SARA DAVISON
The firewalking instructor trainer shares his impressions from The Best You Expo
The divorce coach knows how to help people to deal with separation – she speaks from her own personal experience
52
ELLIOT KAY
44 PAUL BOROSS How to pitch perfectly
The man helping businesses to grow their revenues shares his strategic approach
54
IAN YOUNG
56
PROFESSOR PHILIP BOND
Sober Services’ founder spots the signs of addiction We are born creative, so why do we lose our natural ability to think outside the box?
FEEL & LOOK GOOD WORKSHOPS 58
PAUL J. SPENCER
60
SUSAN ARMSTRONG
62
GARRY JONES
Do you want to change? Here are the five steps to shift How to master the art of great presentation in easy steps Why the simple act of smiling could make all the difference to your success
WEALTH & RICHES WORKSHOPS 64
The personal development star shares his insights into wealth creation
68
MINDY GIBBINS-KLEIN
70
FIONA HARROLD
64 DR JOHN DEMARTINI The timeless art of wealth creation
DR JOHN DEMARTINI
Want to succeed in business? Write about yourself!
How to be a media magnet and build the successful business you really want
72
KATE TOJEIRO
Face the gritty stuff and you have the power to succeed
ASSOCIATE EDITORS Cynthia Phillips & Gail Kingsbury TECHNICAL CONSULTANT Martin Carter ADVERTISING advertising@thebestyou.co PARTNERSHIP partnership@thebestyou.co
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THE BEST YOU CONTRIBUTORS - THE GREAT MINDS SPEAKERS
MICHAEL NEILL
is an internationally renowned transformative coach, teacher, radio host and best-selling author of four books including The InsideOut Revolution. At The Best You Expo, he spoke about his belief that we should work in tandem with the universe. @michael_neill
SIR CLIVE WOODWARD
is one of the most influential teachers of our time in the field of personal and spiritual development. For 35 years, she has reached millions of people throughout the world with her inspirational messages about how to create a life of true freedom, mastery and awakening. @drbdeangelis
found fame in all-girl band Eternal in the 90s and studied at the Italia Conti Academy. Today she is a wife and mother, and continues to act and work as a presenter. She is patron of the St Thomas Lupus Trust. At The Best You Expo, she shared her passion for helping others to realise their talents. @kellebryan
DANIEL PRIESTLEY
started out as an entrepreneur at 21 and built a multi-million dollar event, marketing and management business before the age of 25. With a passion for global small business, he is the author of three best-selling books Key Person of Influence, Entrepreneur Revolution and Oversubscribed. @DanielPriestley
is a self-made millionaire with a no-nonsense and positive approach to finance designed to help anyone achieve ‘Financial Freedom’. She has huge credibility in the financial world; high-profile job roles, including as an advisor to the Inland Revenue, and is a regular spokesperson on TV, radio and in print. @Gill_Fielding
ROBERT HOLDEN
JASON VALE
JANEY LEE GRACE
MATT WINGETT
has had his innovative work on psychology and spirituality featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, a PBS show called Shift Happens!, and in two major BBC documentaries called The Happiness Formula and How to Be Happy, shown to more than 30 million television viewers worldwide. @drrobertholden
led England to victory at the Rugby World Cup in 2003. He now helps elite athletes achieve unprecedented success and has launched a new app to capture knowledge on any subject. At The Best You Expo, he unpicked the DNA of a champion, which he believes goes way beyond talent. @CliveWoodward
GILL FIELDING
KELLE BRYAN
BARBARA DE ANGELIS DR
– aka ‘Juice Master’ – is the best-selling author of 11 books on health, addiction and juicing. His most well known book – 7lbs In 7 days: The Juice Master Diet – knocked The Da Vinci Code from the top spot. Jason is on a mission to ‘Juice The World’ and help people to turn their health around using natural means. @juicemaster
is a spokesperson for the organic and natural health world. She is known to over 8m listeners daily via BBC Radio 2, and is the founder of janeyleegrace.com, recommending the best in the natural, organic and eco world. She is author of five books, including two Amazon #1s. @janeyleegrace
is a Portsmouthbased author who is also an NLP master. He uses skills learned from hypnotist Paul McKenna and NLP co-creator Richard Bandler in his work. For The Best You, he reports from The Best You Expo’s Great Minds Seminar Room. @MattWingett
The Best You is published by The Best You Corporation Ltd, 5 Percy Street, W1T 1DG. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect The Best You Corporation Ltd, policy. The Best You Corporation Ltd accepts no responsibility for views expressed by its contributors. Advertisements and reader offers are not endorsed by The Best You or The Best You Corporation Ltd.
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WERE YOU PART OF THE BEST YOU EXPO? Just 18 months ago, The Best You’s team, led by CIO Bernardo Moya, envisaged its first festival of personal development. With a vision to bring the greatest minds in personal development together with fantastic coaches, practitioners and companies in the self-improvement industry, the team worked hard to create a show which would inspire, teach and reward those looking for solutions. The resulting event, held at London’s ExCeL on 27-28 February was a golden moment in the UK’s personal development industry. More than 3,200 joined the event, with a further 1,500 registering to receive digital content broadcast live from ExCeL. Many signed up to hear keynote speakers including the personal development industry’s biggest names, Barbara De Angelis, Robert Holden and Michael Neill. Others came to hear about sporting excellence from Sir Clive Woodward, nutritional advice from Jason Vale, and financial wisdom from Gill Fielding. The Great Minds Seminar Room was the place of lifechanging moments with amazing advice and insights shared.
Alongside, a series of workshops ran non-stop for 15 hours with each speaker attracting a capacity audience of almost 100 delegates. Insights and advice were shared by speakers across a wide range of subjects enabling delegates to take away ‘golden gems’ to apply to their own lives. A fantastic range of exhibitors showcased their services and products at the Expo, including coaching for business success, divorce advice and addiction support. With a live camera crew and reporters, The Best You’s social media team tracked the weekend, with more than 1,500 posts from the event sent every 1.3 minutes.
Throughout this special issue of The Best You, we report on the Expo, the speakers who helped to change lives over the weekend, the exhibitors who supported the event, and the realisation of Bernardo Moya’s vision to bring The Best You to life. Our thanks goes to all who were involved, and we look forward to welcoming you back to THE BEST YOU EXPO 2017!
DID YOU MISS
THE BEST YOU EXPO? ENJOY A PEEK AT OUR EVENT PHOTO GALLERY AND ORDER A VIDEO RECORDING OF OUR WORKSHOPS!
VISIT THEBESTYOUEXHIBITION.COM
”If you are ready to transform, to learn, to grow, to shift there is no better place than The Best You Exhibition and seminar. You will be so happy that you made the decision to come.” - Dr Barbara De Angelis,
keynote speaker at The Best You EXPO
”I came to The Best You Exhibition for the first time ever, with genuinely no idea what to expect and I was actually blown away. For the first time that something was done, it feels like an event that has been running for years, and I can only imagine it’s going to go from strength to strength. It’ such a great vibe walking in and I am excited to see how it grows, expands and evolves.” - Michael Neill,
keynote speaker at The Best You EXPO
This two-day seminar ran alongside THE BEST YOU EXPO, to give ticket holders the chance to hear from the leaders in personal development and also enjoy the rest of the EXPO in-between talks. Dynamic and inspiring speakers left attendees motivated to change their lives. From the US, Dr Barbara De Angelis and Michael Neill spoke passionately about transformation and change; stars of sport and stage, Sir Clive Woodward and Kelle Bryan shared insights into success; and Jason Vale showed us how to get juicy!
“All the speakers were fantastic – but Jason Vale’s talk was especially pertinent for me, enlightening and inspirational. Thanks so much for bringing him here – I was extremely thankful for seeing his presentation and starting to learn it is possible to clear my system and renourish my body and hopefully leave frustrating symptoms behind. Wow!” - Melanie Waldron,
delegate
“The atmosphere, company and professional interaction was inspirational which I will most definitely take with me and treasure. You have a wonderful network of friends and family some of which I met yesterday. I hope this is the beginning of a great relationship with The Best You ’family’.” - Kelle Bryan,
Singer, actress & CEO of Advocate Agency
”Amazing exhibition, great speakers and I have really enjoyed looking around. Look out for the date in 2017. I recommend everyone to try and get here, it’s really worthwhile.” - Sir Clive Woodward,
keynote speaker at The Best You EXPO
THE GREAT MINDS SEMINAR
Hosted by our resident energy bunny Grace, the INSPIRATION ZONE was constantly filled with laughter and smiling faces. There were circus acts, dance and fitness workshops to learn new skills, calisthenics and bar workouts to blow your mind, a silent disco to lose your inhibitions and be part of a secret dancing tribe and huge snakes and tarantulas to challenge your worst phobias!
HULA FIT WORKSHOP
STILT WALKING PLATE SPINNING WORKSHOP
BANISHING PHOBIAS
INSPIRATION ZONE
This area of the exhibition was dedicated to challenging your mind, body and limiting beliefs through a series of workshops, experiences and demonstrations.
GLASS WALKING - STEVE CONSALVEZ
DIABOLO WORKSHOP
TIGHT ROPE WALKING
BAR MOB - FITNESS WORKSHOP
SILENT DISCO
THE BEST PRACTITIONERS SEMINAR - 27 FEBRUARY THE BEST PRACTITIONERS SEMINAR - 27 FEBRUARY
“Now the dust has settled I thought I’d write you a quick note. I thoroughly enjoyed the two-day event, and met lots of interesting people and consider the whole event a very worthwhile project. It was very brave of you to put it on and I’m sure that next year will be even better. I also think your staff and crew were superb in creating a very positive and friendly atmosphere.”
“I hope you recover soon from all the hard work you and your team put in to the show. I just wanted to express my sincere thanks for inviting to speak, I was privileged to have a full house both days and met some lovely genuine people. I would definitely love to speak again.”
- Dr Stephen Simpson,
- Darren Stanton
Body language expert, TV presenter and human lie detector
Physician, mind coach, hypnotherapist, author and presenter
FEEL & LOOK GOOD SEMINAR - 28 FEBRUARY “I would like to congratulate you and your team for investing your time, effort and talent into making this event such a great success. Our aim in attending was to have the opportunity to meet with people who are looking for better ways of doing things. People that want to become better at what they are doing and are determined to do something about it. The Best You Expo exceeded our expectations! Looking forward to the next one.”
FEEL & LOOK GOOD SEMINAR - 27 FEBRUARY “As a business and personal transformation coach, I thoroughly enjoyed both presenting and exhibiting at The Best You Expo. Offering a wide range of leading-edge services and high quality information sharing, to a broad range of enquiring minds and opening hearts, was a great step forward in the world of both professional and personal transformations. This event provided great support to the rapid evolution cycles and expansion we are all experiencing, to various degrees, in our daily lives. I look forward to being involved in the next level of this exciting and inspiring journey next year. Well done to all concerned for an outstanding event.”
- James Knight, iMA creator and master practitioner
- Nick Le Clere, Next Level Consulting
WORKSHOP
ROOMS WEALTH & RICHES SEMINAR - 27 FEBRUARY ‘From the outset, Bernardo and the team were utterly professional and pleasant to deal with and made every effort to make the Expo experience a success for me. I made a five-fold return on my investment on the first day, connected with hundreds of ideal clients and immediately rebooked for next year’s Expo!’ - Fiona Harrold
Best-selling author Be Your Own Life Coach
The three themed Workshop Rooms were full during the entire two days and each one provided delegates with a whole host of speakers and subjects to help them in any area of their life or business. In WEALTH AND RICHES, audiences learnt how personal development can boost and project business through HR applications, leaderships skills, communication and much more. In THE BEST PRACTITIONERS’ ONE-STOP SHOP, personal development professionals were shown how to capitalise on their specialist skills, from publishing, through to advertising and marketing. In FEEL AND LOOK GOOD – WELLBEING WORKSHOPS the delegates learnt skills to overcome a phobia, get fitter, lose weight, find ways to beat anxiety and improve their overall wellbeing.
WEALTH & RICHES SEMINAR - 28 FEBRUARY “I have been waiting for an Expo like The Best You for years! The show brought together the very best in the industry and created a powerful space for like-minded people to come together and learn. It’s certainly one of the best exhibitions I’ve spoken at in years and I can’t wait for next year.” - Louise Presley-Turner
Top UK coach & Hay House author
THE BUSINESS BOARDROOM STAND
“Wow what a great event for us, we thoroughly enjoyed each day and we have a had a great response from the show. Onwards and upwards to the 2017 event!” - Suhki Wahiwala
The Business Boardroom
W ILL J. J AC ST KSO AN N D
CHILL OUT AREA
“I attended the Expo 2016 in the ExCeL centre with an access all areas ticket. I had a fun time and really enjoyed myself and found the speaker sessions tremendously useful and informative. The work and dedication and energy you put forth really showed – I had an excellent time and will be back next time – job well done!”
KELLE BRYAN @THE BEST YOU STAND
PSIO STAND WALKINGTRADE
- Brian J. Byrne,
Creative consultant.
“We had a wonderful experience exhibiting at The Best You! The organisers were lovely, helpful, and efficient, and made the experience run smoothly. We met so many interesting people and like-minded businesses, and it was a great opportunity to promote our brand.”
THE BEST YOU & NLP LIFE TRAINING STANDS
- Jillian Levick ,
Watkins Publishing
GLOBAL WOMAN MAGAZINE STAND
EXHIBITORS PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT FOR EVERYONE - EVERYWHERE
DOTERRA STAND
INSIDE THE EXPO
FIELDING FINANCIAL STAND
“Big thank you for hosting the Expo. I enjoyed the day and I thought you had some stellar speakers so really big thumbs up for securing some great self-development heroes. I enjoyed the speakers and will keep an eye for the next one.” - Tony McKenzie,
delegate
#THEBESTYOUEXPO2016
INSIDE SEMINAR ROOM 1
You need to get yourself down to the Best You EXPO 2017 which is happening on 4-5 March. You have amazing speakers, great stands, charming good-looking people and it’s fun. You will get to connect, network and market yourself and just have a great weekend. Be there. - Elliot Kay,
speaker
BURN THE BULLSHIT STAND
“Congratulations on a great event over the weekend. It’s not easy realising a big scale vision for personal development coaching and I’m really impressed at your vision. I think the rest of us in this community are lucky to have you!” - Tony Wrighton,
Sky Sports presenter and personal development author
THE BEST YOU CREW
THE GREAT MINDS - MICHAEL NEILL
Support and encouragement are part of a coach’s arsenal to help clients move towards their goals, but when it comes to changing behaviours it often takes challenging questions to disturb the status quo. This was the premise of transformative supercoach Michael Neill who kicked off the first day of The Best You Expo with his keynote speech in the Great Minds Seminar Room at London’s ExCeL. He opened the session by speaking about the ‘two selves’ that live in each of us.
“There’s the little one with a name, a personality and a desire to impress,” he explained. “Then there’s the big you, the ‘self’ that was there before your personality was formed, the ‘spiritual self’.” Neill went on to describe the infinite potential that the “formless you” has before the image of the self forms. “It gets lost along the way,” he said. “We are called names by people and we take on the individual ‘me’ that is
projected on to us. Yet it’s tiring to be the image that people have about us, and nature holds the infinite potential for each of us.” Neill explained how we tend to bury this natural self so deeply and yet this is what has the potential to help us to achieve our goals. “We reject the spiritual,” Neill expanded, “but if we’re lucky we get back to our infinite potential and start functioning as we are designed to be. We were created to be part of nature rather than a force within it. At this level, perfect intelligence does all the lifting and things start to happen effortlessly and in flow with nature – it’s the universal mind at play.” Focusing on the universal mind, Neill explained how most people think that experience is coming at them from outside, but that in fact it’s actually coming through them. “We have thought in our consciousness,” he said. “Thinking the right thoughts at the right time isn’t co-incidental, it’s us working in harmony with nature. Contrast this with too much thinking about our thinking, and it’s like trying to improve the wrong guy. All we need to do is open up to a deeper level, and it only takes a moment to
change our mindset.” Neill explained how the shift in thinking can mean real and meaningful results for us. “Think about ‘key performance indicators – KPIs – which measure behaviour unique to a particular challenge, that is objective and observable. The KPI measures the effect of behaviour. “Contrast this with my ‘universal performance indicators’ or UPIs – these are metrics which capture genuine enthusiasm, fresh thinking, insight and goodwill. UPIs are internal, not stuff that happens to us and also it’s not up to us to determine our response.
“We need to allow our state of mind to be a thermometer, not a thermostat. Enthusiasm is natural, and it’s natural to love everyone; goodwill is natural – it’s a thermometer reading.”
the best
in you michael neill At The Best You Expo, supercoach author and presenter Michael Neill explained that it’s how things look to us, not us that’s important
To find out more and download one of Michael Neill’s workshops, visit supercoach.com.bestyou2016 Focusing on happiness, Neill explained that when we live in tune with the universe, it is far easier to bend and flow with good and bad things that happen to us. “Life doesn’t have to be perfect for us to be happy,” he explained. “We live in the feeling of our thinking not external influences. We don’t have to care what we think – we can’t stop the thought but we don’t have to believe it. We are innately resilient and it’s easier to get back on the horse than stop trying to fall off.” Neill continued to explain that we need to have a better relationship with fear. “Fear is one of the experiences we can create with thought,” he said. “Yet scary thinking comes and goes. Fear is no more of a big deal than any other feeling. It doesn’t mean anything unless we let it.” He concluded by urging us to be more awake to life.
“Quiet is the space inside which noise happens. We’re so focused on hearing the noise we don’t hear the silence. There are so many thoughts we don’t hear the quiet and the natural within us.”
I
The people in the room had answered their cosmic alarm clock and woken up. It made them advanced souls who had started out on a new stage of consciousness. And now more than ever, being aware of that new consciousness was vital, in a period in which the world is in a battle between light and dark. In many ways her message was about taking responsibility for the thoughts and actions you have and do, and to recognise how that affects the whole world.
t has been 20 years since Barbara De Angelis was last in the UK and, as she commented, things have changed. She cited the fact that you can now get a decent coffee, and the food has improved – but that wasn’t all that has changed. Throughout the world, people are waking up – and it was the process of awakening that she traced in her two talks at The Best You Expo.
De Angelis is a fascinating figure. Dressed in orange silks, with raven-dark hair, she radiates a timeless spirituality. But her message isn’t one of vague etherealism, it’s about how advanced spirituality affects your everyday life and the people around you. “Your own wakefulness, your own consciousness, your own shifting, vibrationally, blesses other people, just as you walk through the world. So you may think you came here for yourself, but you are an ambassador right now. Sitting here, you’re an ambassador for your friends, for your family, for strangers, for the country in which you live. You’re an ambassador of consciousness. Just vibrating and learning to vibrate with a higher consciousness will and does – and must – make a difference on the planet.”
“Are you going to live with consciousness or not?” she asked the audience. “Are you going to live with openness or not? Are you going to pay attention or not? Are you going to live a life awake and present or not? You may think, well, it doesn’t make difference to other people what I choose. It makes a difference to everybody, because you’re always making a difference, vibrationally.” Her own role was that of a teacher. She compared herself with the map that you might be given in a giant museum, making sense of so much data, and getting people to see the best routes to take. She was also clear to say that the path of awakening is open to everyone. Noone is disqualified from becoming more conscious and more aware because of their past.
In fact, “The things you think disqualify you, qualify you.” The very things people have experienced have turned them toward soul-searching. Sometimes, the confusion in a life is the doorway to greater understanding.
barbara de angelis dr.
THE GREAT MINDS - DR BARBARA DE ANGELIS
One of the highlights of the first day of The Best You Expo was the powerful talk given by Dr Barbara De Angelis. Her European fans came out in force to meet her, and she did not disappoint, spreading her own brand of wisdom and common sense in her truly unique way
shifting souls
De Angelis took the audience through her own life, relating her own journey, and commenting that the very act of seeking for answers was “your inner awakening in action”. In fact, the sense of confusion, of never feeling quite in control, of meeting problem after problem can be a sign of increased spiritual velocity. She called it “divine discomfort.” The feeling that your life is out of control and you are having to hold on tighter because you are going faster, and the world seems a blur because of it. Her job, as a mystic and a teacher is to help her students find the answers to questions that spring from divine discomfort. “Who am I? What am I doing here? What am I supposed to do in this life? Why, sometimes, can I feel so clear, so connected and other times as if I’ve forgotten everything I know? Why are so many people so cruel? Why am I feeling homesick for some place I don’t even know about, but I keep thinking this isn’t how it’s supposed to be?” In her case, when she was young, she wondered why people were so often so mean to each other. It was as if she had been born in the wrong world. When she was 18 she found her first spiritual teacher, the famous Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in the 1960s, when she was attracted by a poster to go to a meditation. She took many years investing in her own enlightenment, and didn’t start teaching until she was in her thirties, famously touring the US with Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra. But though they were teachers, she insists that everyone teaches everyone all the time.
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People are affected by the way you speak to them, people’s lives are moved, “soul shifts” occur. So, how to make your soul shift to your highest, and for it to stay with you?
The secret is through cultivating a sense of higher consciousness, in which you see everything you need to see about yourself. You dispose with the illusions, and look at yourself, your life and those around you clearly. To live with the fog of your limitation cleared away. One way to think about this is to use the soul shifts mantra: the key to awakening in each moment. De Angelis spoke of it like this: “Today I’m going to see what there is to see, to feel what there is to feel and to know what there is to know. Let me explain: How many things will you think about today, as you do this and this and this? Today I’m going to see what there is to see... “How do we usually think? More like this: Today I’m not going to see anything that upsets me. I’m going to only see things my way. “No, I’m going to see whatever there is to see, to feel what there is to feel. “What do we usually say? I don’t want to feel anything that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to feel anything that’s going to challenge
or make me have to make choices. You know, I’m feeling something, I’m just going to have a few glasses of wine and I don’t really need to feel it. Today I’m going to feel whatever there is to feel... Why?
“Because feelings are maps; they’re guiding you somewhere. And to know what there is to know, because when you see things and you feel enough, knowing this will happen. Wisdom occurs. “This soul shifts mantra is so powerful. I’ve received tens of thousands of letters and emails and posts about it. It will shift… and you can do it when you’re faced with a situation. I talk about how to do that in more detail in the book.” De Angelis’ talk included many more insights and words of advice to her audience, and was divided between a morning and afternoon session. Towards the end of the second session she offered a powerful meditation, full of kind advice. Many delegates spoke of how impressed they were. Afterwards, she signed books for her followers and students, giving them her attention for three hours. It was a powerful and impressive display of wisdom and knowledge, in which her honesty and authenticity shone through. A powerful event which made many soul shifts occur.
DrBarbaraDeAngelis signing books, after her talk
It could be argued that as a former member of one of the world’s biggest girl bands, Kelle Bryan, should know how to work an audience. Yet the energy and inspiration that she exudes as she takes to the stage at The Best You Expo is more than a stage school-learned skill. The inner qualities of dynamism and warmth, which Bryan oozes, are clearly inherent to her personality, and of course these are the characteristics which make her the perfect speaker on a Saturday afternoon at London’s ExCeL.
From the highs of pop stardom to the lows of challenging health issues, Kelle Bryan has stayed the course, driven by her own dreams. Now she is inspiring others to follow their visions too
While most of us remember Bryan as a member of pop sensation Eternal, since then she has bravely battled and led the drive for awareness of lupus through her patronage of the Saint Thomas Lupus Trust. She has also founded her own artist management company, Advocate Agency, which champions those who – like Bryan – have an inner goal that they want
an eternal
to achieve, even when the odds are stacked against them. To kick off the session at The Best You Expo, Bryan challenged the audience to work as two teams to circulate and return an egg to the front of the stage, unbroken, in the fastest time. It’s a fun, energetic few minutes as the eggs set sail, carefully passed between each audience member. By the end of the eggs’ journey, it looks likely that one side of the audience is leading – yet curiously, the slower team returns its egg to Bryan at the front of the stage first, due to the final recipient’s determination to move swiftly and determinedly to be the winner. Amid the laughter, surprise and excitement, Bryan swings the energy back to the start of her presentation, explaining that,
inspiration kelle bryan
THE GREAT MINDS - KELLE BRYAN
“The egg is your vision, your dream. It took several steps to make it back to base. Many hands made light work – it took a careful approach, measured steps, energy, momentum, drive, focus and patience but you were focused entirely on the egg and these are the skills you need to succeed. My goal today is to help you begin a chain reaction and kick start your dream into becoming a reality.”
Next, she challenged the audience to define their personal motive for being at The Best You Expo, to look inwards at the unfulfilled goal or challenge that they want to realise in their lifetime. ”What are you afraid of?” Bryan asked. “What is stopping you? What is the worst thing that can happen, and does it matter if it does?” As she posed the questions, she shared one of her core beliefs, ‘You will not fail as there is no failure in trying,” and went on to explain that it was this attitude that enabled her to realise her dream to become a pop star, when her father urged her to find a ‘proper job’ as a teenager. Persevering, she described how she had gone on to earn more than £1m during her singing career.
To find out more about Kelle Bryan’s Advocate Agency, visit www.advocate.agency
“Opinion should always come with love,” said Bryan. “Whether it’s from a parent, spouse or best friend, do not allow anyone else’s opinion to damage you. Be on your guard, not unkind, but selective in what you take on board from others. No-one has the right to tell you what you ‘should’ do unless they love you.” While external encouragement is important, Bryan continued to say that for many people the barrier to moving ahead with their dreams often comes from within, saying, “Are you afraid of vulnerability, being laughed at or humiliated? What’s the worst that can happen?” She urged the audience to be brave and share their vision with someone else as the first step to making it a reality. “Fear can keep you locked still, busy thinking and ultimately procrastinating,” she said. “But while you’re convinced you’re giving it careful consideration, time is ticking away along with your inspiration and confidence to try.
“Don’t wait until you can’t, do it while you can. You, your ideas, feelings, thoughts and opinions all count – they all matter and will make a difference.” Leaving The Best You Expo’s audience uplifted and ready to move ahead with their vision, Bryan proved that she is still every bit the inspiring star. www. t he b e s t youm ag azi ne . co
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“I had a fundamental belief that the future of technology was not about the 22-year-olds who could code, but about people who had industry experience and insights. I wanted to take their ideas and scale them globally.
“A Key Person of Influence is someone who takes deep insights about what they do and who is placed in an entrepreneur growth accelerator environment. “Our nine-month growth accelerator was for people with at least 15 years in their industry, already earning six figures. In five years, we became a global business.” The scheme has seen his clients move from zero to making tens of millions of dollars. “Clients have become best-selling authors, multi-award winners, very influential people. We’ve worked with celebrities and with really large brands, like KPMG and Tesla Motors.” There are five soft skills to becoming a Key Person of Influence. The first is PITCHING. “Pitching is your ability to answer the question, what do you do?,” he said. “What are you up to at the moment? What’s got your attention? How do you spend your time? The way you answer is either going to end in an opportunity or people politely nodding and smiling, and then telling you what they do. You have to be able to craft a pitch.
“You aim your pitch at the desired portion of the market. A personal trainer is just one of millions. But a personal trainer to executives who helps them stay fit no matter when or where is a pitch. Just so with the lawyer, who now announces: “I’m a lawyer and an author of two books focused on intellectual property law. “I built my law firm around protecting entrepreneurial businesses, brands and ideas. “I’ve launched my second book called Intellectual Property Revolution, designed to help every business understand how to achieve the most value from their intellectual property.” The pitch has focus and identifies a niche. It makes a skill clearly useful to others in a particular market, and by doing so creates opportunities. The second soft skill is HAVING THE ABILITY TO MAKE PUBLISHED CONTENT. “Books are a valuable way to demonstrate that you’re an authority, you’re an expert,” says Priestley. “People search the internet to find the authority on a theme – and that’s where they find your book.” Even though only a very small percentage of people will read the book, the book opens up a huge amount of opportunities for radio, television, media and events. “You also repurpose your written content into blogs, articles and reports that can be found by potential customers all over the world,” he added. “Published content enhances your stall as the owner of a niche idea. People will come to you for that.” The third ability is TO CREATE PRODUCTS FROM YOUR SKILLS. “The people who know how to take deep level insights, not surface insights, deep hard-won insights and turn them into methodologies and then products, those people are going to make a fortune,” says Priestley.
“You need a suite of at least four products that bring in people, clients, readers and new connections. The fourth soft skill is PROFILE BUILDING. “You are who Google says you are,” Priestley explains. “If somebody Googles your name and not much comes up, people go, oh, there’s not much special. If a lot of positive things come up, it reaffirms their belief that you’re a good person to be doing business with.” One client, a chiropractor who rebranded herself as the Posture Doctor, created posture correction products, shoes, a foldout device to fit in a handbag to correct posture. Over two million people watched her posture correction videos in 18 months and she now speaks at conferences all over the world. “She is having a great time as the world’s posture doctor,” Priestley adds. “She’s having a bigger impact in the world than she ever dreamed that she could possibly have.” The fifth skill is THE ABILITY TO CREATE PARTNERSHIPS. “Somebody woke up today with the one thing your business needs,” Priestley says. “Whether it’s a database of 100,000 names whom you could really sell to, or any sort of connection, making partnerships will broaden your opportunities.” He goes on: “The real trick is not creating stuff yourself, the real trick is creating enough that you have the cornerstone of a good partnership deal and those first four give you enough of a cornerstone, because Key People of Influence, they grow their business through partnerships. “They have one piece of the puzzle that is their piece of the puzzle and then they just partner with every other piece of the puzzle.” And those, applied to a strategy for growth, are the central ingredients to make a business fly and become a Key Person of Influence.
daniel priestley
After selling his business in his twenties, Daniel Priestley decided to look for a new venture and fresh opportunities. Having had a company involved in training, and also witnessed how Silicon Valley supported young coding talent through its growth accelerator schemes, he realised that the same model could take established businesspeople further, too. That’s when he devised a powerful concept: The Key Person of Influence.
THE GREAT MINDS - DANIEL PRIESTLEY
Daniel Priestley was an entrepreneur who was making $10m a year at the age of 21. At The Best You Expo, he talked about the key skills an entrepreneur needs
accelerating
growth
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When Gill Fielding was a little girl, money was a dirty word. Growing up in the East End, not far from where The Best You Expo was held, her mum used to tell her: “Nice girls don’t talk about money.” It was part of an anti-money culture, which branded money “filthy lucre” and people who were wealthy as “fat cats”. Her big observation, as she went on to understand money and how to make more of it, was how illiterate most people are about it. To prove her point, she revealed that a staggering one in four people who took money out of their pensions under the new government pension scheme put it into cash. “They put it in the only thing that is worse performing than equities; such is the level of financial education in this country: one in four people chose to do the only thing that was worse than what it was already doing.” Fielding told a story demonstrating how her attitude to money works. She put aside £2 a day for each of her children when they were born, paying the cash tin into equities every month. With an 11 per cent return, by the time her children had reached adulthood, they already had a good pot of cash – tens of thousands of pounds – to invest in the next stage of their financial life. In fact, she pointed out, if you put away just two pounds a day for your entire life, by the time you retire, you will be a millionaire. A chastening lesson to anyone interested in knowing how money grows from itself over time.
Part of the problem with the nation’s poor education about money is that many people hold plenty of prejudices and wrong preconceptions about being wealthy. At the extreme end of this attitude are the “antimoney thugs” who want to keep everyone down, thinking that money is evil.
Yet the benefits of having money are apparent to anyone who studies the figures. “The richest five per cent of men are living, on average, 96.2 years and the poorest ten per cent are living 62 years, on average. For women; the richest five per cent live, on average, 98.5 years, versus 67 for the poorest ten per cent.” This, she went on, showed that catching affluenza was the best thing you could do for your health. Fielding demonstrated her particular attitude to money. The television series, The Secret Millionaire, gave her the
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opportunity to do exactly that. In the show, she was taken back to her roots, working as a cleaner in a café, and given £10 spending money per day. She was thrown back on her resourcefulness. “I would say to the café owner; if I clean the toilets can I take an egg and a piece of bread pudding and a newspaper so I started to barter so I could keep hold of my cash.” At the end of ten days, she’d managed to save £82.60. As an experiment, she kept up that level of investment and then worked with that money. “I proved that starting from the gutter on the statutory minimum wage per day I can make myself a millionaire again. It took me about four years.” “Did I have any starting capital? No. Equipment, iPhone, Blackberry? No. Did I have access to the internet, my laptop? No I didn’t. I had none of those things, I only had two things and they were what I had in my head – my knowledge, my information; and what I had in my heart, which was my belief that I could do it and that it was possible for me.” It’s this knowledge, this savvy attitude to money that her business, Fielding Financial gives to its students. “Most of our students in Fielding Financial do it much quicker than four years, because they’re not starting at the gutter,” she added. “And nor are you.” The aim of her work is to provide her students with complete financial independence. In that way they get to live longer and have more fulfilled lives in which they are not on the wheel, chasing after the next pound. Her way, and she admits it is only one way of many, is to make smart property investment deals. She gave the case of her daughter who, while at university at Royal Holloway College, bought a house with the help of a business angel. She converted the two-bedroom house into a five-bedroom house, and let the rooms to college friends. She kept the house after leaving university, and now has an income of £1,100 per month coming in from it. Other deals offer great returns, simply by spotting the potential in a building or a site, and adding value to it by rebuilding or extending. She runs courses showing people exactly how to do it, and provides investment opportunities for her students to give them real financial freedom. Fielding’s expertise was indeed contagious, with many people very excited by the opportunities she offered. We look forward to seeing how people do, in the coming years. Who will be The Best You Expo’s first millionaire?
Gill Fielding is a woman on a mission, and that’s to spread financial savvy and wealth-making potential to as many people as possible. She calls it affluenza – and her talk at The Best You Expo was highly contagious
THE GREAT MINDS - GILL FIELDING
a lesson in
catching affluenza
GILL FIELDING
Nature or nurture? It’s the perennial question surrounding success, and so when Sir Clive Woodward presented ‘DNA of a champion’ at The Best You Expo’s Great Minds Seminar, he tapped into the heart of what it takes to be the best. Having led the England rugby team for eight years as head coach, he has seen time and again what it takes to make a champion, and kicked off his session by saying that in his mind, “Great teams are made of great individuals.” He continued to explain that within a team he will focus on each person and consider if they have what it takes to be a champion. At the outset is talent, but this is the starting point, he explained:
“It’s not enough and you’re never going to win on talent alone. Your mindset has got to be that other people have talent and you can’t make other people what they are not.” Beyond raw skill, a champion has the right mindset, explained Woodward. “Teachability and a willingness to learn is key to becoming a champion,” he said. “Students who have a sponge approach to learning and a passion for their subject will always outdo rocks who have no willingness to learn. One of the questions I would ask is, ‘What do you individually do to teach yourself?’” Woodward recalled how when he started working with the England team, he tapped into his early years after university, working in IT at Xerox. Upon his appointment he gave all of the England team laptops, prompting headlines asking, ‘Why is he not giving them more raw meat?’
“My response,” said Woodward, “was and still is, whoever wins in IT, wins. By giving a team of burly, fit rugby players laptops I could work out who is a sponge, and who is a rock.” Woodward highlighted how he led the introduction of a revolutionary data capture tool, which allowed him to see players from different perspectives on the field of play. “There was no hiding,” he said. “When you see your and other teams as dots and data, all the mystique of being a champion goes away – suddenly great teams become beatable. “Having equipped the players with IT skills they were able to take their own data away and analyse their performance. Their knowledge started to increase and we studied what they do. Ordinarily this stuff is left to the analysts of the game but the IT enabled them to take an interest. It’s fascinating that you can leverage talent if you take knowledge to new levels.” Woodward explained the stages of development that he uses to coach success – firstly to capture the information or knowledge, then to imagine the ‘winning moves’ required to succeed, before moving on to practise and perfect these. “Imagine we are writing a book together,” said Woodward. “First you need a name and a design, plus the chapters by which you break down your business. This is the process to capture information and knowledge and stick ‘what we do’ into each chapter. “Then we connect and share this with others, turning what we do into knowledge – the ‘why’. This is followed by practise, finding and executing practices that create winning moves – the ‘how’ – before moving onto ‘perfect’ which allows us to measure and benchmark how well we perform.”
THE GREAT MINDS - SIR CLIVE WOODWARD
what makes
a champion?
SIR CLIVE WOODWARD Speaking at The Best You Expo, Rugby World Cup-winning head coach Sir Clive Woodward explained what it takes to be the best
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SirCliveWoodward’sA ‘, ttitudetop10’ 1. Assume nothing 2. Responsibility 3. Enjoyment 4. Punctuality 5. Paddi thinking 6. Team 7. Obsession 8. Trust 9. Collaboration 10. Beyond #1
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Woodward explained how he would often role play with the England team, using a scoreboard, clock and wipe board to rehearse scenarios time and again to prepare the players for every possibility. “Thinking about it ahead, in every aspect of life, means that when it happens in the real world there is a high chance you will act properly. “It’s an education system that means you can make the correct decision if you’ve thought it through – I call it TCUP, thinking correctly under pressure, and it’s an ability that all champions have. In fact, winners perform at their best when the pressure is at its greatest.” Leaving an inspired audience at The Best You Expo, Woodward enabled those watching to take his learning at the top of national sport, and see the potential for their own development by using his approach and techniques. A champion session from a leader of champions.
To find out more, visit clivewoodward.com or email clive@clivewoodward.com
To find out more, visit robertholden.org
He’s the man who was famously ‘made up’ by personal development guru Louise Hay and went on to co-write a book with her, using Hay’s uplifting mantra, ‘life loves you’. So when Robert Holden spoke to the Great Minds Seminar at The Best You Expo, the audience was expecting to be inspired, and they certainly weren’t disappointed. “We arrive with a radiant intelligence,” explained Holden, “and we don’t think it goes away, but it does if we don’t use it. We start with an unconditioned self as we are not yet neurotic or cynical. It’s been described as ‘the original blessing’, and we are born with the intent to succeed, be wise and creative. Our job is to learn how to let it out.
“There is the tale of two selves. The learned self, or ego, and the original self, and during our lifetime we have to allow ourselves to be what we already are.”
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At the session, Holden spoke about his first meeting with Hay in 2008. Backstage before Holden gave his presentation at Hay’s event, she asked if she might be allowed to do Holden’s make-up for stage. Describing himself as “young and slightly nervous”, he agreed and as she finished applying the powder, Hay declared, “Life loves you”. It’s a phrase that has replayed throughout Holden’s career which has taken him around the world as he shares his work as a positive psychology coach and author. He has appeared on Oprah, CNN, BBC, Good Morning America and Fox News.
“The way we choose to see ourselves has a huge influence on what happens to us,” said Holden at The Best You Expo.
“It’s the mirror principle and there are five stages of our relationship with the mirror. The initial stage comes during our first 18 months of life. Most children don’t recognise their reflection in a mirror, and they don’t
think of themselves as a body instead identifying with our inner soul, what we feel inside. “The second stage comes between two to three years, when the mirror becomes intriguing and is a friend, but later, around seven years, we start to become self-conscious and we have learned the habit of self-judgment. We stop really looking and start to evaluate and judge what we see. “Yet later, stage four, we start to avoid mirrors as we become aware that we are judging ourselves, and yet this is finally followed by stage five, when we consider what it’s like to be us when we’re not judging ourselves. At this point we stop trying to be our best self and just be ourselves – there’s nothing more impressive than someone who dares to be themselves. In fact, I would ask what would you do more or less of if you were not critical of yourself?” Holden urged the audience to embrace the concept of pursuing their happiness, but warned, “There is a world of difference between searching for happiness and following your
THE GREAT MINDS - ROBERT HOLDEN
Psychology and spirituality are central to our happiness and success says author Robert Holden
born
wisdom robert holden joy. The result will enable you to experience your best self. When you are your happiest or most on purpose, life has meaning and value. To put it another way, the purpose of happiness is to ensure you are true to yourself. Follow your joy and you will be successful.” Although Holden’s philosophy centres on happiness, he shared his own moments of depression, and that his mother had battled the illness too. “Most of us have ‘dark nights of the soul’,” he said. “In my book, Shift Happens, I make the point that these take us to our knees, yet they are really a moment of ego or self-image. Our soul is still intact and OK, and so we have to find a new beginning.
“Being the best you is about integrating failure, disappointment or wounds into life. We have to go through the death of our old self to find a new self. If we meet our fears or betrayals we can be ourselves again. We find our unconditional self again and it gives us the opportunity to find the open door.
“Some people go through life, other people grow their life – if you think something is missing in your life, it’s probably you.”
jason vale
The stage is set, the music is pumping and, as he is announced to the podium, Jason Vale leaps onto the stage. Dressed in shorts and a shirt, despite it only being February and chilly outside, he is tanned, looking fit and super toned, as you might imagine of the man who has revolutionised his own and the lives of thousands of others through juicing. Vale’s story is one of transformation. Looking at him today, as he revs up the crowd eagerly anticipating his arrival, it’s hard to imagine him as he once was – overweight, a chain smoker and heavy drinker suffering with psoriasis, eczema and hay fever. After being inspired by juicing pioneer Norman Walker, Vale embarked upon his own journey and lost four stone, quit smoking and drinking by changing his mindset to his addictions. In 2001, he published his first book, Juice Master and began to appear on TV shows such as The Fit Farm, This Morning and The Wright Stuff. Since then the effervescent Vale’s career has sky rocketed with books, CDs, DVDs, apps, and today he runs seminars, owns juice bars and retreats in Portugal and Turkey. Juicing has been good to Vale. Today though, his sole focus is on the audience in front of him. He’s already rewarded them with several of his books, a copy of his Super Juice Me! 28-day juice plan DVD, and a tasty juice bar,
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all part of his growing product portfolio. Part of Vale’s appeal is his openness and selfdeprecating nature – it’s his, “I can do it, you can do it too,” attitude that involves the crowd from the outset. “I left school at 15 with no education, and I can’t believe I’ve even written a book,” laughs Vale. “I grew up on a North Peckham estate, I was overweight, I had psoriasis, I had a big smoking and drinking habit. It’s a far cry from who I am today. I honestly believe that unless you’re physically and mentally sharp, everything else will fail.” Behind Vale’s upbeat, high tempo presentation, there is a deadly serious message about the UK’s spiraling battle with obesity. Vale shifts the audience’s attention to a blender at the side of the stage. Alongside is a feast of junk food – from long life muffins, which Vale describes as “sponges”, to high sugar chocolate bars and cans of Diet Coke, which Vale tells the audience is, “highly addictive”. Very visually, he starts to combine these, an experiment he says he often does when he speaks at schools. The resulting sludge of the mixture looks as toxic as it undoubtedly is for our systems, and it allows Vale to illustrate how poor nutrition affects our bodies.
“It takes more energy to digest bad food,” Vale says. “We are frequently overfed and undernourished, and the symptoms of a toxic diet are very evident in a body that is in distress.
“The vast majority of diseases are lifestyle related, and in Super Juice Me! we took eight people with eight diseases and showed how a juice-based diet can markedly shift these. The solution is to turn to a low human intervention – or low HI – diet.” Yet while food provides the panacea, the secret to success lies in the way that we think about it.
“The challenge is addiction,” says Vale, “and we need to change our approach to our diet mentally. All of my books are designed to help people make the change, to remove the desire for what we are told we should want.”
Although he’s enraptured the audience at The Best You Expo, Vale’s time is up, and so he urges them to enjoy his books and bars, and to join his juice revolution. With that he’s off to sign autographs and inspire a legion more followers.
THE GREAT MINDS - JASON VALE
mi xi ng it
u p At The Best You Expo, Juice Master Jason Vale inspired the audience to take his juice challenge
what’s great
about you? janey lee grace At The Best You Expo 2016, Janey Lee Grace guided a rapt audience through the skills you need to be noticed in business. The Best You records some of her fabulous, transformative advice
Janey Lee Grace’s message at The Best You Expo was clear: in an age of social media and big media, whether you’re a lone freelancer or the CEO of a large company, the most powerful thing you can do to get customers is be noticed for the right things. Whether you’re running a practice, providing business services, teaching, coaching, consulting – in fact anything – the most important question you have to answer is how can you most effectively project yourself as a brand? “It’s going to sound like seriously big time showing off,” Grace told attendees. “I love it when people show off! I call it showing up not showing off. It’s actually recognising
what you’re here for and how you are going to get absolute clarity on your unique brilliance.” For Grace, the realisation that many people don’t know how to communicate their brilliance came when she was was due to interview a hypnotherapist for BBC radio. Grace knew that the therapist did really positive things and she was excited about getting the message about her guest’s work out to a big radio audience. But when the recorded interview was performed, there was a problem. “Unfortunately this lady, despite having written a great book, was not a great interviewee. She didn’t have absolute clarity on her USP, her key
messages and how to get herself across. We dropped the interview. I was absolutely gutted at that point and I thought you know I never want that to happen again, and if I can do anything to help, I will.” She asked her audience to really answer a question honestly, so they could get clarity on what their brand was based on. That question was for people to ask themselves: “What’s great about me and my business?” Being ready to articulate it was the starting point of knowing exactly what your brand is. So what does Grace mean by being a brand? Although it’s the springboard, it’s not only knowing what makes you good at what you do. You might have a book, you might have a viable business. A reputation for reliability, punctuality, a businesslike approach, warmth or excellent service are not enough to make you
THE GREAT MINDS - JANEY LEE GRACE
stand out from the many others in the marketplace providing similar services. “All of that’s great! However all of those things are pre-requisites.” She explains that, in many ways, they’re the tools of the trade; they are “exactly the same as a hairdresser having scissors and a hairbrush”, or a dentist having his equipment.
Finding your specific brand is not necessarily easy, and requires some thinking outside the box. Grace told how one already successful businesswoman she worked with wanted to draw extra clients. After hours of searching for what made her special, Grace drew from her that she loved scuba diving, but never went enough.
janey
“She imagined herself, at such times, as a mermaid. It sounds whacky, but this was the starting point of a brand, which came to be known as, “The authentic mermaid.”
advice on four distinct areas that help to build a brand: clarity, confidence, content, and connections. “In many ways, the first two go together. If you are clear about what your message is, then you have the right to be confident about delivering it. If you aren’t confident, then you can learn to be with the right training. “Content is vital in the media age. It gives media outlets something to talk about – so that ebook, which might be just a short advertising pamphlet, can be vital to opening doors. “
lee grace The question is, why do people go to their preferred hairdresser over and over again, when they could go to any hairdresser? Yes, there’s trust, but there’s also the USP, the unique selling point. That’s where the brand is to be found.
“It was fun, and it got her noticed. Of course, not everyone can be a mermaid. That would mean there was nothing unique in their selling point. And some people have interests and skills that don’t necessarily mesh with the business they run. But finding that special thing about yourself that can inform your business, that’s where a brand and a USP are born.” Grace also gave some great advice on what you do with your brand, once you’ve got it worked out and conceptualised, and finished with
Her final advice was great:
“You can have connections in the media world, but you also need to have the clarity about where you fit in. If you can make the right connections in the right slot, then your brand is well on its way to being recognised.”
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Bernardo Moya has seen setbacks in his life, and has learned the art of bouncing back from each one. Born in London to Spanish parents, he had a normal childhood, growing up in a loving family in Spain. Then, sadly, the death of his father when he was just 15 forced him to grow up quickly. As the oldest son, he suddenly took on the responsibility for his family, became a father figure to his younger siblings and helped his mother through that difficult time. This is what Moya calls his first black wall, and it taught him the art of toughening up, seeing the priorities and the things that you need to do to keep on going.
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coins in an old box,” Bernardo told the audience. “And I found I was down to my last 100 peseta coin. I bought a tin of lentils for the family, and I thought: ‘This is it, I’ve hit rock bottom’.” Once again, Moya was forced to dig in and find a way to support his family. This time, he took a job selling timeshares to tourists, and within a few weeks, his fortunes had changed. He was making money again. It wasn’t a job he particularly wanted to do when he started it, but he succeeded in it, and soon had a house and car, and all the trappings of a successful life in Spain.
“It’s a question of getting your head down and focusing on what needs to be done,” he recalls. This was an early lesson he needed to learn.
But as life went on, Moya found himself increasingly unconvinced by the success he enjoyed. Was there more, he asked. He looked around him, to see what was missing.
The next black wall came when Moya was in his mid-twenties. By then he was working in real estate, had a wife and his first child and was living a happy life. Then, the housing market crashed. “I remember we used to save peseta
By the time the next real estate crash came ten years later, he was ready to do something different. He did all sorts of sales and business training, but still he had the feeling that there was something more he wanted to find out about.
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As a result, over the years he became increasingly interested in personal development. He read Change Your Life In 7 Days, a book by Paul McKenna – and it did exactly what it said on the cover. It made him hungry to learn more about personal development. It did indeed change his life. Then, he met Paul McKenna on an NLP training course. On those courses, he saw the extraordinary changes that NLP and personal development could make in people’s lives. This experience fascinated him. Then came the next real estate crash in Spain, and Moya found himself suddenly needing to start again. By sheer coincidence, at the same time McKenna was about to close his NLP training company in the UK, as he prepared to move to the US. Moya saw an opportunity. He stepped in, highly ambitious and energised and began promoting and organising NLP training courses with Dr Richard Bandler, forming a new company, NLP Life Training.
THE GREAT MINDS - BERNARDO MOYA
master
of success
bernardo moya ow dh e k CIO n. as ve ame atio ke a h r ec o ple a b orpo e sp h t eo Moy C , p u ou xpo bo o ny do Ma nar est Y ou E ry, a ire t gave o r s B Y t y e e l e B ns ed al Th est of he B is ow d th d fin us T n At ut h ce a g, an keep o ab ilien goin elp h s re p on s to e ke step k six trac on
proof is those others who have come through much worse than any of us.”
Along the way, there was much to learn, but Moya was determined to keep at it. He made miscalculations at times, but always with the sense of resilience he had learned as a younger man, he kept going, kept bouncing back, and kept on at what he wanted to do. “Sometimes, we think we are going through difficulties,” he says, “but there are plenty of others whose lives are far more difficult. More so than mine, or yours. And it’s worth remembering that you can dig deep. You can do it, and the
He thinks of the poor refugees now, who are risking their lives to survive the journey to Europe from Syria, and finds their struggle, their desire to carry on whatever the cost, is not only an inspiration, but a reminder that you might think things are bad, but really they aren’t. They’re a reminder to, “Stop whingeing”, and even though you may think you’ve hit a black wall of your own, you haven’t. There are always options and always ways forward.” So, how does he classify the things you need to be more resilient? He lists the skills of resilience in five clear steps:
STEP 1: FOCUS
The bottom line is you’ve got to focus. Really focus on what you want in life. What is it you want? Who do you want to be? What do you want your message to be? Focus on it. Don’t focus on 17 things because that’s not focusing. Just focus on one thing.
STEP 2: UNDERSTAND YOUR CHALLENGE
Remember, it’s not a problem, it’s a challenge – understand it. What’s stopping you? What’s not helping you? Where are you? Can you do anything about it? If it’s happened, understand it, and move on.
STEP 3: ONE DAY AT A TIME
One problem at a time. One challenge at a time. You can’t find a solution for your challenges in one day. Understand what your challenges are and deal with them one by one.
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STEP 4: EMBRACE CHANGE
Don’t be afraid of change, it means you’re growing. That can be confusing, but the bottom line is that when things happen it does so for a reason. Change is the doorway to new opportunities.
STEP 5 – DIG DEEP
You have to dig deep and find the resource inside yourself. Your challenge may not be easy. There will be times when you think you’re not going to be able to do it, but you will find the strengths within you. All of these skills are part of what it takes to be resilient.
There’s one other skill that comes into play as well, and that is the art of reinvention.
In building up The Best You, Bernardo has reformulated and remade the offer and the business. At the same time, over the years, he has remade himself. From teenager to responsible adult, from real estate entrepreneur to timeshare seller. From Spanish businessman to Londonbased personal development promoter, all the way Moya has applied the steps he mentioned, and moved on. And in every case the reinvention of himself and his products have moved on, too. Over the years, Moya has interviewed many different leaders in their field, be they actors, artists, musicians, businesspeople, sportspeople, celebrities – the list goes on and on. And with each of them, in just about every case, it’s true to say that these core skills are central to their lives and their stories. At The Best You Expo, Moya encouraged the audience to do the same. To ignore the voice that complains, to literally shrink challenges down and see them both in the context of each audience member’s life and also to set those challenges in the perspective of the wider world.
In this way, you will find the keys to surviving, expanding, growing and learning. These central skills are the core of resilience. With them you will be more than a survivor – you’ll be a success.
BERNARDO MOYA’S MEETS SIR CLIVE WOODWARD (above) AND KATE TOJEIRO (below)
They say that a mind once stretched by new ideas will never again return to its original dimension. Like many of you reading this now, as far back as I can remember, I had always thought differently to other people. Growing up I felt I was the odd one out and no matter how hard I tried to like everyone else, the stronger the feelings got. I began to take an interest in understanding the power of the mind and of how it affects my success in the world. I studied psychology and later spent quite a few years as a police officer, while still continuing to grow and learn my craft. I studied NLP, Hypnosis, EFT, and spent a number of years as a clinical and stage hypnotist, where I honed my skills as a clinician by day and my craft as a stage performer by night. In 2009, I had a major life event where I lost my dad very suddenly. I was immensely close to him so it hit me very hard. It made me take stock of where I was in life in relation to my life’s goal and it was at this point that I decided to leave the police and focus on my goals full-time. I began to write my thoughts, feelings and beliefs about working towards success, which was very cathartic for me. I never intended to write a book however these notes evolved in to what became a psychological success book called Project Jam Jar. Following this success, I lost my mum suddenly and ironically it was at this point I had an opportunity in Los Angeles. Many people know me now from television work and appearances on BBC1’s The One Show and ITV1’s This Morning programmes as a body language expert, and my work in the media as a human lie detector assessing public figures. I feel immensely blessed that I am able to earn my living from my passion. A large part of my work is on the public speaking circuit and my three key areas of expertise are: • • •
Deception detection – how to spot lies Influence and persuasion Motivation
G GAME
In Interviews I am often asked how do you know if you are being lied to?
I hope the thought-provoking ideas presented in The Game can have a similar empowering effect.
There are statistics that say in any ten minute conversation the average person will lie to us three times, even if they are innocuous white lies said to spare someone’s feelings. I think most people have fibbed about receiving a hideous gift and saying you ‘love it’ to the gift-giver.
The Game focuses on high achievers throughout history combined with honest short interviews with current visionaries that have used these methods and techniques, and gives answers to life, which we all play on a daily basis.
People have a default baseline, which means that they have a normal state of breathing rate, voice pitch and eye contact. When I’m asked to assess someone, I look to establish their baseline as when people are accused of something with quite serious consequences attached, there will be significant changes in behaviour through the fear of being discovered. This is called deception apprehension. Some of the high profile cases I have been engaged to work on include the 2010 and 2015 General Election where I assessed the body language and truthfulness of the party leaders during the live televised head-to-head debates. I also worked for the national media on the 2011 News of the World phone scandal where I assessed the Murdochs during the Government select committees. After working for 20 years in the personal development industry, I am currently in pre-production on a documentary called, The Game. The title of the film refers to the game of life in which we are all either willing or unwilling players. The programme continues where The Secret left off. It’s an empowering, intimate cinematic experience that gears people for change. The theories and ideas presented in The Game approach from a different angle the truth of the secret. Although some ten years on, there’s no doubt The Secret has changed people’s lives and opened up the theory on the Law of Attraction to many that otherwise would have taken an interest in personal change.
By understanding the hardship and obstacles these people have faced, they present their learnings in the hope that viewers will short circuit the route to their own ultimate happiness in life.
So, after 20 years of hard work, I find myself at a point with renewed passion and enthusiasm for what I do. After all my research while writing The Game, I learned from the great achievers that if you are lucky enough you will discover what your passion is, what gets you excited when you think about it, what message you have for the world, what your life’s work is. Once you discover that, it’s a case of releasing it even though you want success now! Whatever it is, it’s going to take time to develop your craft, skillset or business. Enjoy the journey not just focusing on the destination. The key thing I learnt is never ever let money be the motivator – yes, cash is important as it gives you freedom, choice and flexibility but by focusing your passion, money will be an invariable bi-product of your passion. Although we have probably never met, I believe in you. Keep the faith and the passion for what you want and if you never listen to those who would seek to take you from your chosen path.
The Best You’s readers canviewashorttrailerofTheGameat
thegameiscoming.com and can get involved in the project.
Find out more at darrenstanton.co.uk or call 07456 447247.
CHANGER R
THE BEST PRACTITIONERS - DARREN STANTON
darren
stanton
Human lie detector Darren Stanton is back with a new project that aims to get to the heart of what makes people successful, and how we can find our own inner potential
THE BEST PRACTITIONERS - PAUL BOROSS
paul boross
The Pitch Doctor Paul Boross debunks the mindset of pitching
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The psychology
of pitching The Pitch Doctor is Paul Boross — and he is passionate about communication. Drawing on a career that has seen him move from primetime TV and stand-up comedy to transatlantic development deals, media consultancy and motivational psychology, Boross has worked with such power players as the BBC, Google and MTV, training executives from the worlds of business and media in a range of communication, presentation, storytelling, performance and pitching skills.
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The word ‘pitching’ is entering everyday business vocabulary, thanks to TV programmes like Dragon’s Den and The Apprentice. But where does pitching fit into the range of activities for today’s professional, and how can we understand the psychology of pitching in order to do it more effectively? In short, we can define a pitch as any professional interaction where you present your business, your products or your services to someone and ask them to make an investment or a buying decision as a result. Therefore, from a psychological point of view, we have two main elements; the communication of the pitch, and the decision made by the audience.
such as “Get my message across and check that the audience understands it”.
What this adds up to is that if you want to improve your pitching skills, you must not focus on your own behaviour. Trying to be more impactful, or more powerful, or more compelling is a huge mistake. What you have to focus on is that the pitch is a relationship.
ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT So many people say that they are pitching to inform the audience or to help them. That’s not true. You’re pitching because you want something. You know it, and the audience knows it. Having the courage to ask for what you want will earn respect from the audience, and having the common sense to realise that the audience is giving you their time because they already know what you want shows that you respect them.
Pitching is absolutely not a ‘hard sell’, and often we imagine market traders shouting their bargain prices at disinterested passers-by. If you take this approach, you’re not going to be successful, unless your business is a market stall, of course! My point is that the pitch must always be appropriate to the audience, giving them the information that they need to make a fair and informed decision. We could talk about all kinds of clever tricks of language and non-verbal communication, but the reality is that successful pitchers don’t concentrate on convincing everyone they meet – they focus on meeting the right people first, and delivering a consistent pitch that they can refine gradually over time, based on real feedback. I’m going to break my advice down into the points that I help professionals with most often, because these are the areas most likely to get in the way of your next pitch. NERVOUS? Being nervous is a good sign, as it means that you’re connected with what’s really going on, and it’s certainly better than arrogance. Don’t worry about breathing exercises or icebreakers, as the most likely cause of anxiety isn’t what’s happening but what you’re imagining – or fearing – will happen. Change that mental image to something neutral; an audience who are interested in what you have to say, willing to listen and able make a fair decision. FOCUS ON THE RIGHT GOAL Ask your colleagues about their goals for pitching and they might say, “To win the deal”. This is a completely unrealistic goal, because you can’t control the client’s decision, and you can’t control your competitors. Instead, refocus on a goal that is totally under your control,
RESEARCH To a professional audience, nothing is more frustrating than someone who hasn’t done their homework. The internet is overflowing with information about companies and individuals, and to even spend ten minutes researching your audience’s business, competitors, history and goals is an investment that will tell your audience that you’re interested in them and you have tailored your pitch to their needs.
STOP SELLING Make your pitch and then shut up. So many people repeat themselves or continue selling, becoming more and more desperate and making the audience more and more resistant. The silence is not yours to fill, so keep quiet and let the customer think over what you have presented to them. FOLLOW UP The pitch begins long before you stand up, and it ends long after you have left the room, as your words continue to echo in the customer’s ears. A followup letter is an absolute must. Keep it short, one page maximum, and use it to reiterate the main messages of your pitch. Sign off by clearly and concisely asking for what you want.
Remember, a pitch is a relationship, and so you can apply the same rules of psychology as you would for any other relationship. Have a goal or a sense of purpose, be clear about what you want, give the other person space to decide for themselves and deliver on what you promise.
Get those four things in place and everything else will take care of itself.
PAUL BOROSS SHARES THE BEST YOU EXPO MOMENTS ON TWITTER
THE BEST PRACTITIONERS - MATT KENDALL
how to find
your ideal clients
matt kendall
When working as an NLP practitioner, hypnotherapist or coach, you need to ensure that you work with the right clients. A lot of time and money is often wasted by practitioners targeting potential clients that are just not suitable to work with. The more you plan and monitor your advertising and revenue, the better you will be able to run your practice. Firstly you need to decide what service it is you are going to offer or specialise in. There is the temptation to offer a wide range of services, but this will hamper your marketing efforts and not connect you to the right audience. Let’s take a specialism such as weight loss. People who are interested in weight loss are not going to be interested in stop smoking or career change anxiety, however a lot of practitioners will market all of these services at once on their website.
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To become a specialist I would recommend having a small, dedicated site for just that particular service. The advantage of having a microsite is that everything on there is going to be focused to a particular type of client. Using this approach you can tailor the language, testimonials and styling to the type of potential clients using the site. It is very important to have specific testimonials and case studies for this specialist service. When using testimonials from previous clients, you can either have them email you, you can audio record them or you can make a video. In terms of building a credible connection to your potential clients, video has the biggest impact. Audio follows video, in terms of credibility, with written testimonials ranking third. Your testimonials should do three things; to prove you produce results,
to build trust and credibility with potential clients and to answer the questions new clients tend to ask a lot. When I do testimonials for my own practice, I record them over Skype and make them into a video that I host on YouTube. I always make sure I ask new clients to tell me, for example, “How did you hear about me?”, “What have your results been like?”, “What was your experience of the sessions and working with me?” By getting past clients to answer these, it speaks directly to new clients. This technique also demonstrates your authority in this particular area, and cuts down on a lot of emails addressing questions. When you have a potential client on your microsite, it is important to guide them through all the information rather than having
Matt Kendall shares his insight into marketing your coaching practice
them just call you. Use your website to work as a lead generator and also as an educational tool for you and your services. It is increasingly common to use what is known as a ‘lead generator’ in exchange for a name and email. A lead generator can be a free report, an MP3 download or access to a video. Once someone has entered their email, it automatically gets put into an auto-responder mailing system.
You can also include testimonials and links to videos etc.
spend lots of money on advertising. You can always scale up as you go along.
The last part is to have the potential client schedule a consultation with you. You can use simple integrated booking systems to handle all these appointments on your behalf. When you do finally speak to your potential clients, they are highly qualified as they have been educated in you and your service.
The aim of marketing is not to just create sales, but also to take a lot of the busy work away from you so you can focus on working with clients.
Closing a client like this is very easy and you don’t have to explain everything to them as your marketing has done that for you automatically. Once you have this system set up, you need to drive traffic to your site.
An auto-responder is an email tool that sends out emails on your behalf automatically. After the initial contact, you can programme emails to be sent to your potential client which educates them about you and your service.
This can be achieved for free be using Facebook, blog posts, YouTube and SEO. You can also use paid sources such as Google and Facebook ads. Just make sure that your new funnel system converts clients before you start to
Matt Kendall is founder of Interesting Talks – find out more at interestingtalks.co.uk
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THE BEST PRACTITIONERS - STEVE CONSALVEZ
It’s taken 25 years, but finally there’s a formula for success, says UK certifying firewalking instructor trainer Steve Consalvez
the best
yet
steve consalvez
I have been to many personal development shows over the years, some larger, some smaller and having been both a recipient of personal development and an agent of personal development, I have seen how this industry has grown. I remember when the Anglo American Book Company, run by Martin and Glynis Roberts, was a tiny outfit, operated from a small shop somewhere in Wales, and now they are world-class. It was great to see them at the inaugural The Best You Expo. But actually, their success is why I think that Bernardo Moya is going to make this not only work, but become the ‘goto’ place for the searchers of happiness and success of tomorrow. From when I first met Bernardo, I saw both the entrepreneur and the visionary. Of course, he needs his endeavours to make a return on investment, but having been through a journey himself, he now has personal development at his heart. This is why Anglo American is a market leader. Glynis and Martin had NLP at a very deep level ‘in their hearts’. Back in 1991-2, when you could only get quality NLP training from four organisations in the UK, they were always there, and for the connoisseurs of language or Erickson, Gestalt or Satir, they had products that you couldn’t get elsewhere (I still have Milton Erickson videos). They had passion, belief, commitment and longevity. And I think that’s what this kind of success requires: deep excavation. I think Bernardo has that and I’m all for it.
Many people were just there to witness me pushing a 5” haberdashery needle through my hand while I experienced bliss, but the message was clearly understood.
“Most people really want to change how they FEEL about some aspect of their lives, so that they can accept it, forget it or change it.”
And The Best You Expo proved a good environment to get that across. We had many fantastic conversations from the stand and with the other exhibitors. It was great to see Janey Lee Grace again, who had a stand, and it was good to see some of the professional keynote speakers from my past work with a public speaking bureau. I look forward to seeing their presentations as well as my own. This is going to grow and grow because Bernardo’s vision is behind it, and I am certain that next year, it may be three to four times the size, so something that companies like ours will want to continue to support.
Steve Consalvez has been involved with personal development as a way to enhance your life for more than 29 years. He introduced David Shephard to NLP, used to advise the UK’s leading MLM marketers on product choice and was part of the team that brought Tony Robbins to the UK. He has trained with Richard Bandler, John Grinder and now trains new firewalking and empowerment instructors around the world and with Tolly Burkan, the man who created the modern empowerment firewalk seminar and trained Tony Robbins to do it. Steve Consalvez built the UK Firewalking Academy in 2010, on his eight-acre Cambridgeshire estate.
Twenty-five years ago, when I first started selling personal development books, tapes, videos and courses, the biggest challenge we had is the same challenge we face today: complacency. People want lots of change in their lives, but they just don’t want to put in the effort. Events like The Best You Expo provide a window of opportunity for these seekers, so that they can pick something that resonates with them to help them on their journey. For us, as a small company that specialises in only two things, company profit building, and personal confidence building and training, our fairly high ticket pricing, means that it is unlikely to sell direct from the stand. However, on this occasion we sold a couple of places, so we were delighted that this was able to contribute to our investment. As a niche provider though, perhaps the biggest impact is the media impact. As a presenter, I was able to demonstrate to a room of approaching 100 people my findings from 29 years of personal development, which include the edgy suggestion that “You can decide EXACTLY how you feel about ANYTHING”.
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Did you know that divorce is often referred to as the second most traumatic life experience after death of a loved one? It can hit you hard and leave even the strongest people reeling and unable to cope. I realised this first-hand when I went through my own divorce and that is why I created my divorce coaching programme. I have developed techniques and strategies to help you navigate both the emotional rollercoaster and also the practical situations you will face. It’s a tool kit of information to help you cope better with your break-up and is everything I wish I had access to during my divorce. The interesting thing is that understandably many people go into divorce with a very dim outlook for the rest of their life. It may be because they can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel or it may be because they know others who have been through the same thing and never found happiness again. I see many clients in my clinic who feel overwhelmed and stuck as they just can’t see a bright future for themselves anymore. This is normal as your whole life has been thrown up into the air and fundamental changes with lifetime repercussions are happening. However it is possible to change your perception of divorce and start to view it in a more positive light and notice the opportunities it brings with it.
“You see the truth is that it can be one of the best life experiences to ever happen to you. Divorce gives you a golden opportunity if you chose to take it. It gives you the chance to redesign your life exactly the way you want it. The choice is up to you. You have to decide that you are ready to feel better and that you want to make changes and take some action.”
We have all gathered a wealth of life experiences that we have learnt from and which bring us to where we are today. So we all have the power within us to navigate our break-up successfully. The trick is to know how to unlock this power. I have created four keys to help you survive and thrive after your break-up: 1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY – this is where you stop blaming your ex for your situation and take full responsibility and ownership for where you are right now in life. This puts you back in the driving seat of your own life. 2. GET CLARITY – because clarity gives you power. At a time when everything is up in the air and lots of things are changing it’s important to get clear on what your options are. This will give you the power to make decisions that can help you to move forward. 3. TAKE BACK YOUR CONTROL. The truth is that we control how we feel and how we react. It’s important not to live life in reaction to what other people do. We own the remote control to our own mind and need to use it. 4. FOCUS ON MOVING FORWARD POSITIVELY – you can’t move forward with your life if you are constantly focused on the past, your breakup story and your ex. By creating a compelling future that you are excited to live you will start to shift the balance in your mind to enable you to move forward more easily. During a break-up there is so much going on that it’s important not to add to your overwhelm. The trick is to come up with small steps that you can take to keep you from getting stuck. Break everything you need to do down into tiny steps and take one day at a time. It can be a journey to get back in touch with your identity as an individual after being in a long-term relationship. By focusing on you and what you value in life you can start to rediscover what makes you tick again. It’s also important to schedule in some fun so you avoid the negative emotions becoming allconsuming. One technique to help with this is to write a list of things that you enjoy doing. These can be small things like meeting a friend for coffee, taking a Zumba class or visiting a museum.
Once you have a list of things you would be excited to do then book them into your diary as they will help to keep your mind strong. The idea of divorce coaching is to help you navigate this tricky time in your life and get you back on track as fast as possible.
I’m a big believer that it is not what happens to you in life that defines you, it’s what you do about it that matters. Sometimes good things fall apart in life so that better things can come together. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and divorce coaching will show you how to move on to create a life you are excited to live.
Sara Davison offers one-to-one coaching in her Ascot clinic or London base, plus telephone and Skype sessions. She runs twoday Break-Up Recovery Retreats, the next one is 21-22 May in West Sussex. These workshops are designed to empower you with skills to cope with the challenges you are facing. She also has an app called ‘7 Steps to a Better Break-Up.’
For more information visit saradavison.com
how to survive your break-up
sara davison
THE BEST PRACTITIONERS - SARA DAVISON
Having survived her own break-up, Sara Davison is the divorce coach, helping others to move forward positively and confidently to the next stage of their life. Here she shares her insights with The Best You www. t he b e s t youm ag azi ne . co
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elliot kay
THE BEST PRACTITIONERS - ELLIOT KAY
Elliot Kay has a vision for his clients’ businesses’ growth, and it all starts with strategy
TIME
tO THINK
Tell us about Strategic Brilliance Services and how you help companies to grow their businesses.
How did you arrive at this point in your own business journey? Tell us about your life and career so far.
What we do is give people a tool that has been tested and tried over the last four years which has proven to help business grow. It is a tool that breaks down strategy, makes it simple and easy to follow, as well as fun – strategy is and can be fun. This tool has been used in companies from 0 to 400million turnover, we use it to build 100k+ businesses.
In 2010 I had a great year, one of the most successful ever, I wrote a book, came third in Britain’s Next Top Coach and had a great year of revenue. I packed up my bags and followed a girl I was in love with to Australia, but within weeks of the start of 2011 it all fell apart.
Your work focuses on helping people to develop sound strategy, but what are the core tenets of strategy in your mind?
Strategy is one of the most important parts if you want to build a long-term business, most people are stuck in tactics vs strategy. Strategy is your roadmap and or blueprint to get where you need to go. It is what glues everything together and keeps you focused, I love it. In my mind you have to want to be doing something long-term and impactful.
All my clients finished their courses and moved on, an investment I made crashed and I owed the bank 150k, I fell into a legal battle with another company I was doing some freelance work with, so they didn’t pay me and the girl I was in love with told me she was off to work with a very successful businessman and didn’t have time for me. I came back both broke and a broken man. I knew then and there something had to change both in me and how I approach business. I set out to master business and strategy. I found myself a mentor that offered to work with me on this and started to turn everything around, it took time but it has worked. Going from broke to owning three businesses, all be it I am merging two of them now. That is all because of changing everything we did to strategy. I am also happily married now to an amazing woman. It took time and hard work, however it has been worth it. There is still more to come.
What’s the most rewarding aspect of your work? Watching my clients get results, truly taking them through the process and working on the big picture with them to grow their businesses What’s the best piece of business advice you’ve ever given or received? The advice I was given was when I asked one of my mentors when we should get more aggressive on sales… his response was as soon as you want to have a bad reputation and want to lose all the hard work you have done in building up your reputation. It is fair to say we found our way of doing it without being aggressive. What brought you to The Best You Expo and what was your experience there? I felt it was going to be the right place for my customers to be, and I was right. My experience was it was busy, the right place to be and we had fun. Finally, what do you hope to achieve for Strategic Brilliance Services in the next 12 months? We want to run three seminars with more than 100 delegates at each; we aim to grow the business turnover by 20 per cent; and to be the ‘go to’ guy for strategy for coaches, trainers, consultants and therapists. I want to have built at least ten business, all hitting the 100k mark within 12-18 months.
There are three different aspects of addictive behaviour: 1. 2. 3.
Being unable to control consumption levels, therefore hiding how much they are tolerating. Inability to stop oneself from reigniting their addiction; the user loses the power of choice. Personality shifts can be displayed; their attitude becomes selfish, self-centred and greedy.
Ask yourself the question: “Do I actually have a problem? 1.
Have you made the decision to quit drinking/using for a week, but lasted only a few days, or tried to cut down but couldn’t? 2. Have your family or friends suggested you may have a problem? Do you wish people would not get involved in your drinking/using? Is this causing a conflict? 3. Have you drank/used more than intended? Have you regretted that first drink, line or pill? 4. Have you begun drinking/using alone? Have you begun to realise you need a drink/drug to get started, or to stop shaking in the morning? 5. Do you envy people who can drink/use without getting into trouble? Are you drinking /using in your bathroom, car, workplace or other public places? 6. Have you had health problems connected with your drinking/using and still carried on with it? Are you happy with your current sex life? 7. Have you stolen money for your next binge? 8. Do you try to ensure you get an extra drink/hit than those around you because it isn’t enough? 9. Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking/using at any time, even though you continue to get drunk/high? 10. Have you missed days off work because of drinking/ using? Are you afraid if you stop, your quality of work will suffer?
How can you spot the signs whether a loved one is an alcoholic or addict? There are certain characteristics that can be assumed for someone that is addicted or severely dependent. Ian Young, addictions consultant and founder of Sober Services, discusses these
If you answered yes to any of the questions, it is likely you have a drink or drug problem. Due to their own experiences, across the Sober Services team and the displayed behavioural patterns, the team are there to help find the appropriate method available towards recovery, to fit in your circumstances and lifestyle.
Only the individual is able to determine whether it is the right time or not. The Sober Services team are fully trained and have the right knowledge to help individuals through recovery with intervention and treatment programmes. Sometimes the problem is obvious, but often hidden or denied out of shame, guilt and remorse. Sober Services are trained to practise the right methods in approaching each individual’s situation so they can benefit fully from the results. Sober Services offers a range of treatments specific for every individual’s circumstances. One treatment programme is Sober Interventions. This is one of the most loving and kind acts that anyone can perform to those who are suffering from addiction. Families, friends or employees can ask themselves the questions; Do they have mood swings out of the ordinary? Is there a marked change in their behaviour and routine? Do they isolate themselves? Is there a difference in their body appearance? Are they obviously intoxicated but in denial? This can form the basis on the approach to take with the intervention. Sober Services are specially trained and experienced to help guides families, friends and colleagues of those suffering through a well planned and executed procedure. The individual is likely to respond well to an offer of help from one of the compassionate and understanding Sober Intervention team. The team takes a non-judgemental stance and demonstrates the love and care the individual needs to come to terms with their situation and recovery process.
The Sober Services team understands the issues which can surface in each individual’s condition as they have been through it themselves. They can help.
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THE BEST PRACTITIONERS - IAN YOUNG
SEEING
THE SIGNS
IAN YOUNG For more information on the treatments programmes available and the team, visit soberservices.co.uk, Facebook facebook.com/ soberservices/, twitter @Sober_Services
philip bond
POWER
OF CREATIVITY Philip Bond explains how we can refocus our brains to reclaim our innate creativity
THE BEST PRACTITIONERS - PROF. PHILIP BOND
Whether in business or in their personal lives, many people want to achieve success. For some people success means ‘doing fairly well’ while for others such as top Olympic competitors it means ‘being the best in the world’. Whatever your level of aspiration you are likely to achieve far more when you have gained the knowledge required for great performance whether in an office setting or in an Olympic stadium. Knowing how and when to apply that knowledge is often called wisdom, and wisdom is essential if your expertise is to be used effectively and powerfully. Yet both knowledge and wisdom have limits and in a competitive situation your competitor may have access to the same or even more knowledge and wisdom than you do. Creativity is the key to going beyond accepted knowledge and beyond accepted wisdom. Top performers know that to perform at the very highest level you need to have new ideas and new insights. In other words, you need to be actively engaged in being creative all the time.
Creative thinking is the force that drives innovation, gains a competitive edge and frees you to perform at your very best. Creative thinking takes you beyond what is currently known. It allows you to see the world from many different viewpoints simultaneously.
As Einstein said, ‘Imagination is more important than knowledge.’ Creativity is our birthright – as children we are all highly creative. George Land devised a series of creativity tests for NASA engineers in the 1960s. He then tested 1,600 children with the same tests starting at ages three to five. He found that 98 per cent of the children scored at what Land called the ‘genius’ level for creativity. When the same children took the tests again five years later 32 per cent scored at that ‘genius’ level. Five years later it was down to 10 per cent and on tests of more than 200,000 adults at age 25 it was down to two per cent. So the evidence suggests that we start out highly creative as children and steadily lose creativity as we go. The good news is that you can regain your creativity very fast and have a lot of fun doing so. Think of the creative process as being like driving a car. You have an accelerator and a brake. The accelerator in creative thinking is what we call ‘divergent thinking’. It calls for us to think of as many alternative ideas as possible. The brake is ‘convergent thinking’ when we narrow things down by applying critical thinking and rejecting ideas that may not be the best. When operating in divergent thinking mode the brain reduces control somewhat. That control is essential in everyday life but it can get in the way of divergent thinking because it acts as a brake on
divergent thinking. In contrast, when you operate in critical thinking mode the pre-frontal cortex of the brain increases control. So you really need to separate out the two phases of creative thinking. First think in a divergent way and only afterwards in a convergent way. Accelerate then brake. What you do not want to do is apply both accelerator and brake at the same time. We all know how that ends up. As children we learn to challenge ideas at school, which is a good thing but unfortunately we are also taught to critique ideas very quickly. In other words, children learn to apply the brake at the same time as they are pressing the accelerator. In the brain this leads to a conflict in the pre-frontal cortex controls which are simultaneously trying to switch off and switch on. The outcome is the steady decline in creativity with age seen in studies such as that of George Land. To rapidly raise your creativity try this exercise. Write your biggest goal/ problem/challenge at the top of a sheet of paper and then generate 20 answers to the question. Split your thinking time into two distinct phases. Firstly come up with new ideas with no critique of them at all. Just focus on having fun and try to surprise yourself. Be playful. Suspend judgement. Then when you have 20 ideas go through the list applying critical thinking and apply your judgement to pick just one. The key to the exercise is to split your thinking into distinct phases of divergent and convergent thinking. First accelerate then brake. Aim to do this daily in order to develop the habit of creatively attaining your life goals.
Professor Philip Bond is a renowned creative problem solver and creativity coach who has worked with F1 and Olympic teams. He is a member of the Prime Minister’s Council for Science and Technology. Contact Professor Philip Bond at quantsoft@hotmail.co.uk
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paul j. spencer
WEALTH & RICHES - PAUL J. SPENCER
is a personal change specialist, helping people to make amazing changes in their life.
5
STEPS TO
POWERFUL PERSONAL
CHANGE
Many people are aware that they have something in their life that if they changed, would help them to achieve greater success and happiness. We are inherently programmed to seek out the possibility of fear, our instincts are designed to scan our surroundings to notice potential threats so that we can keep ourselves safe. In other words, we are programmed to seek out negativity, so it is no wonder that people look for the problems and the likelihood of failure before they consider the possibilities of success. Understanding this allows you to see negative situations differently, it helps you think about situations in a way that helps you to find new choices and influence the end result in a way that serves you better. This is the underlying concept behind the process that I call the five steps to powerful personal change. When most people find themselves in a position to making a change in their life. It is usually because they are experiencing some type of problem and they have decided that they no longer want to keep the problem and want to consider a new outcome. I have created a simple yet effective technique to help you create profound changes in your life. I call it CLICK – this stands for CAUSE, LET GO, INSTEAD, CHOICE, KEEP. So, if you are in a position where you need to make a change then the first thing to do is to take some time to write down, what you think the problem is? What effect is this having on your life? Is it stopping you from doing something? Does it stir up unwanted negative emotions? What is it stopping you from doing? Or, what is it causing for you that you do not want or like? Once you have written this down on paper, you then need to move to the first step of the process which is THE CAUSE. So, what is it that CAUSES you to have this problem?
change is tricky to accomplish but paul j. spencer has the formula for success
Write down whatever pops into your mind! I wouldn’t spend time analysing this, go with your intuition, your gut instinct. This is important because I want you to start trusting your intuition. It usually has the best answer. Once you understand what has caused the problem, you then need to think about the ways that you could LET GO of the problem. Using your unlimited imagination, I want you to consider all the ways that you could see yourself letting the problem go.
Would you have to say something to yourself, would you need to do something, or are you just so fed up of the problem that you are ready to just let go? The next step is to think about what you want INSTEAD. Once you have already seen yourself and or told yourself that you can let go of the problem, then it is far easier to consider the possibilities of a new outcome. After you have decided specifically what you want INSTEAD, it is then easy to move to the next step, which is to CHOOSE the new outcome rather than the old problem. Think about it, if your old problem is triggered but you have already made a decision that in the future you have chosen to experience of what you want INSTEAD, then this is exactly what your mind will focus on, rather than that old problem that you used to have! The final step of the process is to decide to KEEP this new choice.
Many people make temporary changes and then revert back to their old problem. This is because they haven’t made the decision to KEEP the new choice. If you want to keep something, if you choose to keep something so that you will always have it, then you will always remember where it is, because you have placed it in that space in your mind labelled KEEP. This is what people that have a traumatic experience do, they decide to KEEP the memory in order to keep themselves safe. What they need to do instead is to identify the CAUSE of the problem. Consider how to LET GO of it, choose something else that they want INSTEAD, decide that they want this new CHOICE rather than the old problem and then to KEEP this new outcome instead of the old problem. Now that you understand this you can now use this process to help you, to make new and powerful changes in your life.
Find out more at pauljspencer.com
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FEEL & LOOK GOOD - SUSAN ARMSTRONG
susan armstrong
PROFESSIONALLY SPEAKING You cannot not communicate. Did you know that? And all communication is influence. Therefore, you cannot not influence. Like it or not, every day, all day you are influencing people as to what to think about you. Do they like you? Trust you? Find you credible? Can they connect with you? Will they listen to you? It all comes back to you. This issue of presentations, of presenting ourselves is one we cannot ignore. Whether it’s presenting yourself in a job interview, presenting your ideas to your colleagues or boss, or whether it’s presenting to a prospective customer, we all have to present ourselves, our ideas, and our information all the time. We do it every day, all day and yet when you ask someone how they feel about giving a presentation, most people cringe at the thought. Why? Because… the idea of standing up in front of a group of people and talking is a huge fear!
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It’s not the biggest fear we have as people, but it’s up there in the top five. So why is it that we worry about something we do every day anyway? It’s the eyes. However many people you are presenting to you have double that amount of eyes watching you! And what happens? Our Centre of the Universe brain takes over and we start to think, ‘What if they don’t like me? What if they don’t like my ideas? What if they don’t like what I’m wearing? What if I make a mistake? What if I miss some information? What if they ask me a question and I don’t know the answer?’ And the list of, ‘What if’s’ goes on and on. Are you panicked just thinking about it? Most people are. But it doesn’t have to be scary. As I said, like it or not, you do this all the time. We just have to spend a little more time thinking about what we are influencing people to think about us through our communication skills both verbal and non-verbal.
Here’s the point: over 90 per cent of face-to-face communication is non-verbal. So it’s never what you say it’s how you say it. What are the nonverbals that go along with the words? There is extensive research published by UCLA Professor Albert Mehrabian about his communication model that seven per cent of the message comes through the words, 38 per cent of the message comes through tone of voice and inflection, and 55 per cent comes through body language – and there is plenty of research and information trying to disprove his model. What experts can agree on is that it is not words that carry the message. They are a vehicle, yes, but in any communication there are two elements: content and emotion. Body language, voice tone and inflection give words context so whatever the percentage, it’s still not just about what you say, but rather, about how you say it. What are the non-verbals that go along with the words?
these things but there is a line. There is such a thing as being overprepared or over-rehearsed. You’re not playing a role in a theatre production, you do not need to memorise your lines. Several things happen when we over-rehearse, and interestingly, these are some of the things we worry about.
information on PowerPoint:
When we overrehearse/prepare, that part of our brain is so focused on what we’re supposed to say that:
• When your slides have too much on them you have no choice – you have to read the slides. Which means several things: you are either presenting to the computer, or to the screen but not the audience. It also means that if you make a mistake, the audience knows because… well… they can read. You also have to cover everything on the slide because if you don’t chances are, someone will ask about it.
• We can’t engage with the audience – we can’t connect. We are stuck in our own brain and it becomes about us, not about the audience. Any good presentation is audience-centric so if they can’t connect with you then chances are they aren’t interested in what you’re saying. • We’re so worried about not forgetting what comes next, about getting the ‘line’ right or the information correct that it causes those weird habits we all have like saying ‘uhm’ or ‘ah’ while we search for the next line in our brain. So if you want to stop the uhm-ing and ah-ing then stop thinking so much. Know what you’re talking about and connect with the audience. • We’re so engaged with ourselves and what we’re supposed to say that our body language becomes stiff and rigid, our voice monotone and stilted. And again, it becomes difficult for your audience to listen to you.
Susan Armstrong shares her five tips for a powerful presentation
3. BE AUDIENCE-CENTRIC TELL THE STORY. A good presentation is about the audience, not the presenter. It tells a story, and a story has three parts: • The opening – the hook – which in the case of a presentation is the WIIFM (What’s In It For Me?) for the audience. Tell them why they should listen – what’s in it for them?
This is where we get caught when communicating or delivering a presentation. We get so focused on the words, the, ‘What am I going to say?’ that we forget about how we say it! So, if you want to deliver a powerful presentation whether it’s in a job interview, with a prospective client or with your boss, here are some tips: 1. KNOW YOUR STUFF Speak about what you know, your area of expertise. If you don’t know enough then research, ask questions, find out. You cannot deliver a powerful presentation or communication for that matter if you don’t know the content. This also means in a professional environment you should never try to deliver a presentation that someone else wrote. 2. DON’T OVERTHINK Prepare, prepare, prepare… rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Yes, of course do
• The middle – the information. Three major points only please! This is how we overcome information overload. Three major points with no more than three supporting points for each of these. • The close – this should tie right back to the opening and support how the information helps achieve the WIIFM. A good close also contains a ‘call to action’. What do you want your audience to do as a result of this presentation/ communication? 4. LIMIT YOUR USE OF POWERPOINT Please. PowerPoint is a great support tool. It was never designed to deliver a presentation, but rather to support one. This means that graphs, charts, visuals, models, pictures should go on PowerPoint. Paragraphs, sentences, Excel spreadsheets and any font smaller than 26 point should not go on PowerPoint. Here’s the problem when we put all of our
• Your audience is busy reading the PowerPoint not listening to you. When you use a PowerPoint you will always be competing with the screen. It always wins so you might as well just stay home and email the PowerPoint.
• When you have put everything on the PowerPoint you end up being handcuffed by your own presentation. You can’t be flexible, you have to remember everything and you can’t make a mistake. This does not lead to a good presentation. The most powerful presentations do not use PowerPoint so remember, if you have to use it, use it sparingly. 5. BE AUTHENTIC, BE YOU! We get so worried that people are judging us, but honestly, have you ever gone to a presentation thinking to yourself, “Gee… I hope the presenter does a really bad job!” Somehow I doubt it. And, your audience isn’t thinking that about you either. So, stop worrying, practise, don’t handcuff yourself to a PowerPoint presentation, and talk about what you know. Audiences of one or 1,000 don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care so deliver your message with authenticity, credibility and confidence. Bottom line… you can be a great presenter if you can get out of your own way long enough. You just need to know your stuff, stop worrying about what the audience is thinking, provide them with value and then just let it flow.
Susan Armstrong is an internationally recognised professional speaker, trainer, author and personal growth teacher. She trains presentation skills to global organisations and individuals desiring to become more influential in their communication. For more information visit susanarmstrongspeaks.com
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My all-consuming passion for martial arts complements my work in mind coaching. They are intertwined in one particular way. The Zen quest of discovering the mind and body relationship. I relish the application of hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming in developing fighters in Muay Thai boxing and mixed martial arts to study this relationship. Why? Because the realm of full contact combat is an ultimate test of the theories, strategies and techniques used in coaching and development. If it works under the pressure of a full contact fight, it will work at home, work or general daily life. So yes, the application in martial arts has relevance to us all. The boxing ring then becomes my laboratory of controlled pressure testing. There are numerous day-today issues that are all experienced in the boxing ring. Let us focus on one. FEAR. Maybe we could label that stress. We are comfortable saying fear when it is something large and of big impact. May I suggest the smallest of stress is still fear, though there are many levels of it? Science studies confirm this. Chemically our response is the same if the stress is large or small. During my seminar presentation recently at The Best You Expo I gave a real time example of this. I showed how our view of reality becomes totally distorted by the impact of stress, a perceived stress at that. Have you found that it is good to be wrong? The audience was wrong and it saved them experiencing a great deal of pain. It is good when your recollection of the past, imagined terrible outcomes or current view of how things are turns out to be wrong, in the best possible way. Mark Twain quoted, “I have lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” Quite. Here are some facts about stress in the UK. - Stress, anxiety and depression accounted for 13.4m lost days to business in 2011 (H.S.E figures), much more than musculoskeletal which includes backache - MIND the mental health charity has the cost to UK industry at £8bn - The biggest killer of men under 50 years old is suicide It has big and very personal consequences, not being able to manage our fears. Let us return to the fighters as an example to address this. Modern labels of Zen are ‘the zone’, ‘the flow’ or mindfulness. Whatever label we give it the experience is one of being totally in the present moment. A fighter does not have the physical ability to react to an attack.
The process time of the brain and a physical response will be too slow to defend or attack back. If the fighter gets lost in a world of remembering or imagining what may happen, there will be one result. PAIN. It is direct, instant and unforgiving. General life does not perhaps have such immediacy but the outcome is the same. FAILURE. I am not advocating we only live in the moment. What I am advocating is to make 80 per cent of our time action. Powerful word action. More powerful I suggest than mindfulness. We do action. It is different from ‘take action’ which implies in the future. Action is now. Returning to the arena of a fight, action is defending, moving, feinting, attacking, breathing, observing. What action can we take in life to reduce fear/stress? There are things you do instinctively as a coach. In teaching martial arts I have understood from the beginning that supreme performance comes from a relaxed body and mind state. The simple physics of power involves speed and mass. The mass of a body is constant. The speed is achieved through a relaxed body. How? How to be relaxed. I have always taught: Smile while doing the activity, in the martial art example it could be to punch or kick for instance. Try it now, smile. Now tense your upper body and try to smile. No, that is a grimace. The smile is a direct feedback that you are relaxed. (Research numerous science papers to confirm the results of smiling). Simple and effective. Like my martial arts preferences I like simple and effective. Smile while doing an activity. You have no need to be happy to smile. Now if this works in a zero tolerant environment, it should correlate to work in daily life.
The worse that can happen is you feel better for smiling. I suggest a smile will increase your performance in work, relationships and life. It is a small act of action. Smile. In the now. In the present time, where a physical action draws your attention to your mind and body.
Try it for 24 hours. Nothing taxing, and record your results. Just 24 hours of three simple acts to succeed. Breathe, smile, do. Good luck to a brighter future.
FEEL & LOOK GOOD - GARRY JONES
Garry Jones is a master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming and hypnosis.
zen &
the art
of smiling
garry jones
Garry Jones explains that the simple act of smiling can make an enormous difference to your wellbeing
WEALTH & RICHES - JOHN DEMARTINI
John Demartini is a fascinating individual with extraordinary depth of insight into wealth creation. “I’ve been fascinated by anything that helps maximise human awareness, human potential and helps people master all areas of their life: their spiritual quest, their mental quest, their business, their finances, their relationship, their social influence, their physical health and their wellbeing,” he explained. Focusing on wealth, he told the group how as a young man he found out about the existence of a very rare item, The Book of Wealth, by Hubert Howe Bancroft. Published in 1895-1896, only 400 copies were printed and distributed to the wealthiest individuals of the time. Reading the book, Demartini realised how the book distilled the essences of successful wealth building from hundreds of case
studies stretching back over thousands of years. And each study showed a similar template, that he summed up in three simple statements: “Number one is that the wealthiest individuals in history felt that they were destined to serve vast numbers of people. They felt that they were ordained to be of vast service and to fill the needs of vast numbers of people.” Demartini explained that
“If you don’t have a desire to altruistically serve people and make a difference in people’s lives, you’re missing out on one of the big driving forces to build wealth and business.”
MAKING
WEALTH JOHN DEMARTINI When John Demartini set himself the task 43 years ago of understanding how wealth was created, he couldn’t have foreseen how he would find the keys to wealth. At The Best You Expo 2016, he revealed the mindset of the most successful people on the planet
The second statement was that they felt “destined to live the highest standard, the greatest life that they could, to rise above their narcissistic component and live absolutely royally.” This wasn’t out of narcissism, he explained. “They found out by doing so that they raised the overall standards of everyone in the society to go and push further and to reach out and do more with their life. They wanted to raise the standards because it incentivised and inspired people to do the same. It exemplified what was possible.” “The third was that in connection to money, they had transcended conventional ideas of morality. The labels of good and bad or greed and fear, infatuation with and resentment of money. They didn’t see money as a good thing or a bad thing, they saw it as a measuring mechanism of service rendered and rewards received.” Demartini explained that this view enabled people to bring their full passion to the endeavour. But there was also a question as to why so few people managed to make themselves great wealth. In his experience, less than one per cent had found out how to be financially independent, though many aspired to. So, what else did people need to think about? “Most people who say they want to be financially independent, have a value system about spending money on consumables and depreciables. They want the lifestyles of the rich and famous. They don’t want to actually master the skill of investing in assets and depreciables that go up in value that begin to work for them. “They haven’t discerned between a liability and an asset, something that’s consumable, that depreciates and something that appreciates.”
He summed up the view in a simple phrase: “Immediate gratification will cost you but long-term vision will pay.” He explained that working patiently at the long-term vision, and not seeking the trappings of wealth before you are wealthy is central to this. Being clear that the money you should be seen as an investment, not something to spend thoughtlessly. He explained that becoming the brand is more important than being seen to wear others’ brands. “Make sure you’re buying something that’s going to go up, that’s appreciated and desired and needed in society,” he added. That was the basis of a strong business. This, then, comes down to your values. And if your values are pointed towards spending rather than accumulating, you will follow those values and money will slip through your fingers. “People who work for money become its slave; people who have money work for them, become its master. Mastery over wealth is based is on your value structure.” For those who don’t yet know how to identify those values, Demartini recommended that they go to his website doctordemartini.com and determine their values. Having done that, don’t lose heart if your values are currently not pointed to wealth. He offered an exercise that would help to
shift your values, with six questions that would require work to answer. Each one, he advised, required at least 2oo answers: Question one: What are the benefits to you of building a business that serves ever greater numbers of people? He cautioned that it wasn’t about buying depreciables or owning a yacht. “I want the benefits of actually building a business, the benefits of actually mastering the art of leadership, benefits of learning the art and mastering and science of management, the benefits of actually giving job opportunities to other people and feeling the reward of watching other people’s lives be unfolded, the opportunity to master the skill of delegation and prioritisation,” he noted, before saying that there are many, many benefits that you may not even have considered. Question two: Name 200 benefits of directly or indirectly managing your business. This is distinct from building it. Question three: What would 200 benefits be of saving an ever progressive portion of the profits? Question four: What would 200 benefits be of investing in degrees of leverage which involve reward and risk. Risk, he cautioned, is something to be handled with care. You build up a knowledge of
risk and “earn the right to risk”, and it is not about gambling. Question five: What are 200 benefits of accumulating a vast fortune? “If you don’t have a desire to build a fortune, you probably won’t. If you don’t have a desire to sustain a fortune, you’ll probably start buying clutter and raising your lifestyle and get yourself into snags. Wiser to go through and make sure you save your money and build a cushion and build a fortune in the process. I assure you that the more fortune you build, the more opportunities are going to be magnetised to you. When you have $10m you’ll get $10m opportunities. You have $100m you get $100m opportunities. As you save and invest money and accumulate a net worth, you get more opportunities.” Question six, the final question: Name 200 benefits of actually creating a financial cause that leads to a legacy. “Have a reason, a vast reason bigger than yourself, bigger than your family, your community, your city, your state, your nation or your world, the bigger the cause, the bigger the wealth potential,” he advised, and it must be something over and above comfort. “If it’s only hedonistic and you just basically want an easy lifestyle and you’ll end up buying clutter, you won’t have meaning.”
He advised delegates to, “Find something that’s meaningful, that’s inspiring to you as you build your wealth, something you can’t wait for in the morning and dedicate your life to it.” 66
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For more information visit drdemartini.com
“If you start implementing those six steps,” he told us, “by writing 200 benefits each, your value of wealth building will rise up on your value list.
Once it’s up near the top, you’ll see opportunities, you’ll start making decisions, you’ll act differently. Don’t stop writing the benefits until you can see that your behaviour is wealth-oriented.” That, then, is the starting point for wealth.
PUTTING A FACE TO THE NAME
why customers love
to read about YOU! Mindy Gibbins-Klein
Let’s face it, we love to know about other people’s lives, particularly those who are in the public eye. But is it all about sensationalism or are there very real, tangible business benefits to business leaders and CEOs sharing their stories with the world through a book? A business leader said something astounding the other day. He said he would rather speak to an audience of ten people than write for an audience of a thousand. I thought that sounded a bit strange, so I challenged him on it. It turned out that he had written an article for a magazine with a good circulation, but he hadn’t had any feedback at all from it. He felt he had spent his time crafting a wonderful, informative piece that no-one appreciated. He also felt that if that message had been delivered in person, he could have seen the response from people immediately, in their eyes and their body language. It’s true what my colleague said, so how can we justify putting time into writing when we don’t get feedback? Well, that is the nature of writing. Sometimes you get to find out what your readers think of your material, and many times you don’t. The same applies with a book. If you think about the time invested in creating tens of thousands of words without any idea how people will
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respond, it’s no wonder many people never get round to writing a book! A QUESTION OF TIME…. With such hectic schedules and economic pressures to keep business ticking over, can CEOs and leaders really afford to take the time to write and publish books, I hear your say? My response is simple. They can’t afford not to! It’s precisely when times get tough that customers start scrutinising their purchases and looking for the best value for their money. In a market that is already competitive, shrinking demand means fewer pounds flowing around, and those pounds will go to the exceptional companies, those that stand out. And these days, people look to the leader of the company to see what he or she has to say, and whether or not they give the market confidence. One of the best ways to encapsulate your knowledge and wisdom is in a book. If I asked you to pick out some key business leaders that immediately spring to mind, I bet most of them have a book. This is because to really appreciate someone as a thought leader, you need to get into the heart of who they are, what they stand for and what makes them tick.
Ultimately, we buy from people we like. We also like to read about them too! All serious business leaders have put books out and are undisputed experts or thought leaders in their fields. In fact, if they are not vocal and opinionated, regularly interviewed or quoted in the press, they are at risk of being forgotten in this unforgiving and competitive market.
But you don’t have to be a famous face to gain the benefit from writing a book. As the CEO or leader of any organisation, you have a unique story to tell that can only be told by you. Just because the world doesn’t know about it yet, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be told.
WEALTH & RICHES - MINDY GIBBINS-KLEIN
Mindy GibbinsKlein explores the reasons why business leaders could benefit from writing and how to determine when to be visible and vocal
THE GHOSTWRITING DILEMMA So, you’ve decided to take the plunge and write your book, now where do you start? One of the most common questions I’m asked by business leaders is ‘can’t I just get someone to write it for me?’ It’s a common misconception that using a ghostwriter will save a significant amount of time. To achieve a really accurate portrayal of the topic, the executive would need to spend time briefing the writer, then looking at various drafts and making comments and amendments, and reviewing it again. Additionally, customers want to hear the executive’s own beliefs, in his/her own words. With the right plan, structure, techniques and guidance, anyone can write a great book in as little as 40 hours. If an executive is not willing to invest 40 hours in strategic thinking, planning and writing, I would have my doubts about his/her leadership and vision. In conclusion, I believe that writing books is an extremely underrated exercise these days, and many successful business leaders simply don’t realise the value that it can bring, not only to their organisation and successors, but in raising their profile and credibility with their target audience too.
Mindy Gibbins-Klein MBA FPSA FRSA is a multi-award-winning international speaker, author and thought leadership strategist. Her flagship book 24 Carat BOLD outlines the four attributes found in true thought leaders. Her latest book The Thoughtful Leader takes thought leadership to a new level. Founder and CEO of REAL Thought Leaders, The Book Midwife and Panoma Press, she has authored and co-authored eight books. She is also a regular contributor to the business press on thought leadership and raising your profile. Her clients have successfully written and published more than 500 books and hundreds of bold and opinionated articles, positioning themselves as real thought leaders in their field.
FormoreinformationonMindyGibbins-Klein, visit mindygk.com
Hi, I’m Fiona Harrold. You may know me from articles and appearances in the media where I’m known as Britain’s leading coach or as the best-selling author of Be Your Own Life Coach. But I didn’t always have this kind of success. In fact, there was a time when my business was non-existent and I struggled to pay the bills. Then one day, something amazing happened and I was literally flooded with clients clamouring to work with me. I was an overnight success. And it was just one article that did it. My guess is, you’re reading this because you’d like to reach more people, get more paying customers, and make your business more profitable. You’re tired of being invisible and struggling to find clients and customers. You’re not recognised and respected as the expert you are. You’re not making enough money. You feel resentful of other’s success. You feel frustrated that you’re not having the impact in the world that you could and should. I know that being featured in the media is the most powerful way to grow your business, make the money you need and have the impact you want… providing you do it right. I’ve lost count of clients who want to get massive exposure for themselves and their businesses but don’t know where to start. They don’t have a strategy. They don’t know what to do. Some of them have tried and failed because they got things fundamentally wrong from the start. They sent out bad press releases, ones that were too wordy, never going to get picked up – because they didn’t know any better. They probably sent them to the wrong people too! I understand that right now you may be a little fearful. Maybe you’re worried about getting it wrong. Maybe you’ve tried in the past with no success. Maybe you don’t have the confidence to put yourself out there publicly. Perhaps you’re fearful about ‘bad press’, the exposure and what that could mean for yourself and your family and not having professional advice on how to get over that.
You cannot be a secret and a success. Make the decision to get known and get seen and start getting in the media! fionaharrold.com
WEALTH & RICHES - FIONA HARROLD
how to be a
media magnet fiona harrold
Maybe you don’t feel you’ve got anything interesting that the Media would want. Or maybe you’re just a bit overwhelmed because you’ve never approached the media before, and you don’t know where to start. I know what that feels like. When I started out in business, I only had a trickle of clients.
I didn’t just want to get my business up and running and make money; I wanted to reach people as well. I had a message. It wasn’t just about filling my appointment diary, and I guess it’s the same for you. You want to reach people. Yes, you’ve got to make your business work, but you’ve also got a message you want to get out. I knew that I needed journalists to come and try it out for themselves, so they could write about it for their readers. Then they could say: “Hey, this is new, it’s exciting, it worked for me…” And that’s EXACTLY what happened! I made a decision to get in the media. I offered my services to a journalist who then wrote about it.
I was featured in a weekly magazine, and the day it came out, with my phone number at the bottom of the page, my phone started to ring at 7.10am. It was somebody wanting to book an appointment with me. And that’s how it was all day long. I went from having five clients a week to 50. I was solidly booked for three months. My income went up ten-fold and I never looked back. So you can see why I’m so evangelical about this marketing tool. In fact, I was so good at getting in the media that companies were calling me to find out who was doing my PR, and they then paid me to advise them on their campaign. And the rest – as they say – is history. I continued to get features in the press, which led to a publishing deal, speaking engagements around the world and my dream lifestyle. Since then, I’ve used the press to get free promotion for my business and fill my programmes. I’ve helped launch multi-million pound businesses, and make them into household names. So, I hope I’ve convinced you to make getting in the media a priority for you and your business.
In my new Media Magnet programme, I help people like you get your message in the media. Diane, a counsellor, got a double page feature in the Daily Express, bringing 1,500 new people to her website in one day. Yvonne, a bed and breakfast owner had an interview in the Daily Mail and saw her business increase by 20 per cent overnight. Deirdre opened a healing centre in Belfast and got on the front page of the Belfast Telegraph, launching her business instantly. HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO GET YOU IN THE MEDIA: * YOU! You need to be able to see what’s interesting about you and present yourself as the go-to expert in your field. * A ‘KILLER-PITCH’ – to convey your idea in a compelling way in seconds. Journalists reject 97 per cent of all press releases. * A GREAT ‘HOOK’ THAT YOU CAN HANG YOUR IDEA OR YOUR BUSINESS OFF. This might be a new statistic that proves the need for your service or a time of year, such as Christmas, that you can link your business to.
Who knew that watching Long Way Round (Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman) on a cold winter’s evening would be such an extraordinary catalyst, learning to ride an off-road motorbike and confronting some huge blocks about possibility. It led to not only a thrilling, and at times scary adventure but also the realisation that by mastering getting comfortable with discomfort, we can all realise our potential through the power of deliberate action and a sprinkling of neuroscience. What is possible for you? Have you ever asked yourself? Properly? Sometimes the question comes so swiftly and speedily through our subconscious that we’ve dismissed it before even really considering the question. What do you want to achieve this week, month, year, next year…. ? What have you told yourself is impossible that might just be possible? Take a few minutes to consider this and write down your answers or draw them, thereby truly acknowledging them and making them more real. What is YOUR definition of success? I do mean yours, not your boss’s, your partner’s, your teachers’, family or friends’, yours! Again, it is all too common to carry around other people’s definitions of success, which we work very hard towards achieving. However, when our ambitions are not intrinsic to our own values and what we believe, they do serve as more of an anchor than an enabler. Think deeply about what success means to you. I asked this of a client some years ago, the impact was so profound, it completely turned him and his business around. It unlocked a huge pool of untapped energy and potential. Give your self-belief a boost? Whether we believe we can or whether we believe we can’t, chances are whichever we choose will bear out, as Henry Ford was want to say. When pursuing our dreams and passions to realise our potential, our self-belief often needs a little nurturing and is often a little fragile. Remember all those times when you have been successful, how did it feel, what did you do? This thinking alone will help strengthen those neural pathways of building your potential. If it is still wavering, ask yourself if you need to borrow it from someone else. When I was learning to ride an off-road motorbike, I was on the side of a mountain in Wales and beginning to believe that I couldn’t do it. I was riding on a fire-road on a loose surface at 45mph. Suddenly, a handsome chap roared past at 60mph, turned side saddle (very impressive) and yelled, ‘You can do it girl!’ The power of the belief that I borrowed from him meant that I did do it.
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So, if your self-belief has momentarily wilted, ask yourself who can you borrow it from. Who believes in you? Try it. DISCOMFORT IS GOOD Reaching your potential requires a level of discomfort. When we try something new, we feel uncomfortable just because it is new – nothing more, nothing less. It is the brain processing this new and unfamiliar information, which makes us feel this way. Build into your day, small acts of difference, something new that will make you feel slightly uncomfortable. It will help you build that muscle of potential, especially for those days when it’s hard and a few curve balls have put the schedule off-track. For example, listen to reggae if you favour classical, and vice versa. Read the tabloids if you usually read the broadsheets, or read articles by journalists that you don’t ordinarily. If you really want to go for it, try something that you don’t like, strike up a conversation with someone you don’t warm to, try a food that doesn’t appeal. It will build your muscle of potential but more importantly reveal blind spots to things that we don’t know. It will develop our ability for when the going gets tough and more importantly enhance our brain plasticity. Take one deliberate action towards your goals, dreams or passions, daily. Having worked with and interviewed many successful business leaders, the elite in sport and people from all walks of life, the power of deliberate action is palpable. Take a small action every day that will progress you towards your goals. Break down the big goals or achievements into small manageable steps and actions. Ask; who do you need to reach out to, what do you need to learn? Where is there a gap in your knowledge?
After all, everything was impossible until someone made it possible. That someone might just be you.
Kate Tojeiro is an executive coach and works globally with Fortune 500 and FTSE 250 executives. She is the author of The Art of Possible – new habits, neuroscience and the power of deliberate action.
katetojeiro.com
WEALTH & RICHES - KATE TOJEIRO
Kate Tojeiro urges us to deal with the gritty stuff to achieve real results
kate tojeiro
get comfortable with discomfort
www. t he b e s t youm ag azi ne . co
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