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SEPTEMBER 2013 / PRICE £3.99
STEVEN RIDGWAY
Life Without Limits
The former CEO of Virgin Atlantic
OBESITY ON THE RISE
Is it someone else’s problem?
J K ROWLING HAS THE MAGIC TOUCH AND ISN’T AFRAID TO USE IT
FIGHTING TO LEARN
LIVING THE DREAM
GET OVER A BREAKUP
WE PROFILE ACTIVIST, MALALA YOUSAFZAI
A STORY OF TAKING THE ROAD LESS TRAVELLED
SOPHIE KELLER RECKONS YOU CAN DO IT IN 30 DAYS
ALSO: DR RO ASKS IF YOU REALLY WANT YOUR OWN BUSINESS
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SEPTEMBER 2013
CONTENTS REGULARS 5 EDITOR’S LETTER
Bernardo Moya welcomes you to the latest issue of The Best You
29 BOOK REVIEWS We give you our top literary choices – a small selection of what’s available
64 TOP TIPS: BE POSITIVE Gillian Jones gives you some tips on getting rid of those gremlins in your head
70 WE SUPPORT… The JUCONI Foundation, giving street children in Mexico a chance through art
8 THE MAGIC TOUCH J K ROWLING IS ONE OF THE RICHEST WOMEN IN ENGLAND, BUT HER STORY IS QUITE ORDINARY
FEATURES 8 THE MAGIC TOUCH
J K Rowling is one of the richest women in England, but her story is quite ordinaryr
12 TRANS-ATLANTIC ACUMEN Steven Ridgway is the former CEO of Virgin Atlantic and has many greats tales to tell
INNER YOU 16 PINNING DOWN CHARISMA Nikki Owen, the ‘Charisma Queen’ tells us how this elusive quality can make you successful
18 TIME TO BREAK FREE We all have thoughts that are holding us back. Susan Armstrong gives us some advice to break free
ENJOY LIFE 22 JUST EAT IT THIS MONTH’S BUCKET LIST COLUMN IS ALL ABOUT DIFFERENT DISHES TO NIBBLE ON BEFORE YOU DIE
22 JUST EAT IT This month’s Bucket List column is all about cities to see before you die
24 DARE TO DREAM Tracey-Lee Scully gave up the life she knew for a challenge and the chance to fulfil her soul
26 BE WISE, DON’T CRITICISE Self-criticism has a way of bringing you down. Marisa Peer gives some advice of turning it aroundl
THE BEST YOU No. 10 · August 2013 · Year 1 · EDITOR / PUBLISHER Bernardo Moya · DEPUTY EDITOR Zoë Henry · ASSOCIATE EDITOR Matthew Wingett · GRAPHIC DESIGN · Joanna Frackiewicz · NEW MEDIA · Allan Banford · TECHNICAL CONSULTANT Martin Carter · ADVERTISING · Carla Phipps carla.phipps@thebestyou.co · The Best You Corporation LTD 5 Percy St. · London, United Kingdom, W1T 1DG · Tel: +44 (0)845 230 2033 · www.the best you. co
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JULY 2013
CONTENTS
LIVE LOVE LEGACY
42 HOW TO GET OVER A BREAKUP IN 30 DAYS How to get over a breakup in 30 days We interview happiness expert Sophie Keller about her new online programme
44 FIGHTING TO LEARN Malala Yousafzai is an education activist and women’s rights pioneer. Anything but your average teen
46 LIVING WITH PASSION Andrea Evans knows that passion is what drives us and makes us happy. So find your passion
FEEL & LOOK GOOD 44 FIGHTING TO LEARN MALALA YOUSAFZAI IS AN EDUCATION ACTIVIST AND WOMEN’S RIGHTS PIONEER. ANYTHING BUT YOUR AVERAGE TEEN
50 KEEP YOUR HAIR ON!
Hair loss affects a large percentage of the population. We look at what causes it and how to live with it
52 OBESITY: SOMEONE ELSE’S PROBLEM?
Obesity is on the rise in most developed countries and it’s putting our health at risk, Susannah Gilbert reports
WEALTH & RICHES 57 “I WANT” DOESN’T GET Mel Carnegie explains that being demanding doesn’t always get you what you want, or need
58 TURNING POINTS THROUGH A RECESSION
Dr Rohan Weerasinghe says that the economic climate is no reason to get disheartened
60 HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE INTREPRENEUR Intrepreneurship takes the benefits of entrepreneurship without the risks. Emma Vites explains
62 THE ROCKY ROAD TO SUCCESS The Best You looks at some inspirational people from history who didn’t have success handed to them on a silver platter
68 TOP 10 WELLBEING BLOGS WE LOVE A LIST, SO WE BRING YOU OUR FAVOURITE WELLBEING BLOGS
21 CENTURY LIVING ST
66 TOTALLY LOONY Google is once again breaking boundaries in terms of internet technology
68 ON THE ROAD TO TOMORROW Zane Henry looks at some of the cars today and how they are like something out of science-fiction.
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THE BEST YOU
EDITORIAL
EDITORIAL
WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL
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e are constantly being bombarded with adverts telling us to get our cholesterol and blood sugar checked and we all know someone who has been affected by the ‘Big C’. It is debatable whether the percentage of people affected by cancer has actually increased over the years, or if it just seems like it because it’s easier to detect now, but one thing is for sure: obesity and other weight related issues are generally on the rise. Although a recent report from the US Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that obesity is decreasing in about half of the United States, UK charity the British Heart Foundation (BHF) reported that childhood obesity in England rose by an average of 15 per cent. This study was conducted between 1995 and 2011. In most cases this rise in obesity due to poor diet, too much TV or video games and lack of exercise, but it also maybe to lack of communication, confidence, self-esteem and anxiety. It is our responsibility to take action. Jamie Oliver, who is a personal hero of mine,
showed how McDonald’s hamburgers are made. In response the franchise finally announced that it would change its recipe. Yet there was barely a peep about this in the mainstream or corporate media. A tweeted link is about as much publicity as this story received. Other celebrities are also doing their bit, like Michelle Obama who is teaming up with musicians including Jordin Sparks, Ashanti, DMC, and E-Street Band guitarist Nils Lofgren and creating an album that encourages kids to eat healthily and get exercise. We need to bring the obesity issue, as well as the solutions, to the attention of the public. That is why we are bringing you a series of articles associated with poor diets and overeating, from obesity in this issue, childhood obesity in next month’s issue and diabetes following that. Taking good care of our health is something that we need to instil in our children from the get go. The habits you get into early in life stay with you throughout your life, so healthy kids make healthy adults. Watch Jamie Oliver’s fascinating TED talk about teaching children about food: Also in this issue, we
OPPOSITE Gaining confidence means doing something scary
He who takes medicine and neglects to diet wastes the skill of his doctors.
continue with our Bucket List column, this time listing weird and wonderful to eat before you die and we interview happiness expert Sophie Keller about her new programme – How to Get Over a Breakup in 30 Days!
b
– Chinese Proverb
BERNARDO MOYA, Editor
Follow me: @Bernardo_Moya
WE WANT YOUR STORIES The Best You is all about inspiring people. If you have a tale to tell that you think will help someone become the best they can be, please tell us.
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THE BEST YOU CONTRIBUTORS
EMMA VITES
is a career and sales coach, speaker founder of The Apprentice Project. She specialises in helping people ‘sell’ themselves in the most effective way to ensure maximum success in their careers, relationships and lives.
GILLIAN JONES
is an award winning media coach who helps entrepreneurs and businesses become more powerful messengers with content creation and on-camera coaching. Her company, Creative Catapult Video, is the premier media production company for the wellness and personal development marketplace.
TRACEY-LEE SCULLY isis a former magazine editor and graphic designer who stopped working to start living. A creactivist and heartventurer volunteering in Ecuador as an Art Educator to children in impoverished areas.
MARISA PEER
is a best-selling author and was named Best British Therapist by Men’s Health. She has spent 25 years working with an extensive client list including royalty, rock stars, actors and athletes, developing her own style that is frequently referred to as life-changing.
ANDREA EVANS
is the founder of spreadhappy.com and a Certified Happiness and Success Coach with Dr. Robert Holden, Ph.D., creator of the Happiness Project.
@MarisaPeer
@EmergeUKa
MEL CARNEGIE
is straight talking and committed to being the best that she can be. Founder of successful leadership development company, DeNA, she is also a survivor. Her experiences have all played a part in strengthening her spirit.
@Mel_Carnegie
NIKKI OWEN
is UK’s leading expert in The Charisma Model, positivity advisor to The Expotel Group and an Executive Faculty at Henley Business School. Her controversial approach earned her the Rising Star award from The Academy for Chief Executives in 2012.
@sueplumtree
DR ROHAN WEERASINGHE
(Dr Ro) has been speaking to audiences in the fields of inspiration, personal growth and wealth creation for almost two decades. He now travels the world delivering an inspiring message, empowering people to live a more purposeful, exciting and fulfilling life.
@DrRoOfficialt
SUSANNAH GILBERT
is a co-founder of UK based obesity support website Big Matters and their media spokesperson. She has worked on raising awareness of the need for non-judgemental centralised information and support for British people living with obesity since 2004.
ZANE HENRY
is a deputy editor for a lifestyle magazine for British Airways. He has many years of experience working as a freelance writer and editor in leading titles. He currently lives in London, but grew up in the ghettos of Cape Town, South Africa.
@zanehenry
@big_matters
The Best You is published by The Best You Corporation Ltd, 5 Percy Street, W1T 1DG. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect The Best You Corporation Ltd, policy. The Best You Corporation Ltd accepts no responsibility for views expressed by its contributors. Advertisements and reader offers are not endorsed by The Best You or The Best You Corporation Ltd.
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THE MAGIC TOUCH Perhaps one of the most remarkable things about J K Rowling is how ordinary her background is. In 2008 she was ranked the UK’s 12th richest woman with a personal fortune estimated at £560 million / $780 million, yet it is difficulwz to imagine a childhood more ordinary, writes The Best You.
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hen Pete Rowling and Anne Volant were 18 years old, they met at King’s Cross Station, London. The year was 1964 and they snuggled up under a greatcoat as they headed north to their naval posting in Scotland. Their relationship blossomed and when Anne fell pregnant they married in haste. Joanne Rowling was born on July 31st 1965, to young parents who had by then left the armed forces and moved from North London to Yate, a new town ten miles northwest of Bristol, to realise their dream of a semi-rural life. From here, they moved to a threebedroomed home in nearby Winterbourne a few years later, where Joanne was soon joined by her sister Dianne. Their parents, were no doubt great role models. Anne was witty, funny and spontaneous, with an enquiring mind and loved books. Joanne had her first book read to her by her father when she was recovering from measles. It was, she recalls, The Wind In The Willows. At the age of six, inspired by Richard Scarry’s stories, she wrote her very first story about a bumblebee called
ABOVE J K Rowling wrote some of the most popular books of all time
BELOW Harry Potter has become more than a character – it’s an empire
Miss Bee. Perhaps the story stayed with her. The name of one her characters in the Potter books is called Dumbledore - an Old English word for “bumblebee”. Life was good, with close neighbours who supported each other over the years, and Joanne’s fifth birthday came and went, marked by a wonderful spread of jelly and ice cream. A few weeks later when she came home after her first day at school, she believed that was her schooling over. After all, she had “been to school”. So now what? The young Joanne was surprised to find the next day that she had to go again! Rowling was a bright pupil in her early years. She was great at English but wasn’t great at sports and other physicallybased lessons. She progressed with a change of school at the age of nine when her parents moved again to Tutshill, overlooking the picturesque Wye Valley. English landscape in a rural school that put on country dancing displays at the end of the summer term. The countryside was filled with folk tales filled with magic and superstition and Rowling absorbed all of this as she grew up. But there was nothing to hint at what was to come in her life. At school, Rowling admits
that she was very much like the school swot in her books, Hermione Grainger. “I always felt I had to achieve, my hand always had to be the first to go up, I always had to be right,” she says of herself. At school, such behaviour didn’t make her popular. As she got older she was on the receiving end of bullying at Wyedean School. Nevertheless, she was popular enough to be voted head girl in her final year. It is then that things began to change in Joanne, a sensitive young woman now in her teens. Her mother became ill with multiple sclerosis, and she was not selected to go to Oxbridge, opting instead to study French and Classics at Exeter University, a safe, cosy backwater with a reputation as a refuge for Sloane Rangers, the children of the London elite. Here, Joanne seemed to lose her way. One of her tutors commented that “She had a problem settling down here”, another that she was not as gifted as others in languages. At the end of her four years of learning (she and her classmates took an extra year studying and working in France ), Joanne was tipped out into the world of work. She moved with her boyfriend to Manchester, the start of what she called “a year of misery”. It did have one profoundly positive outcome. While
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She threw herself into her work and the social life, drinking at Swing a local club, and at the Meia Cava where she met an intelligent handsome journalist called Jorge Arantes,
travelling on the train between London and Manchester, she gazed dreamily out of the window and thought of a train taking a boy wizard to a boarding school for wizards. As she tells it: “All of a sudden, the idea for Harry just appeared in my mind’s eye. I can’t tell you why or what triggered it. But I saw the idea of Harry and the wizard school very plainly... I have never been so excited by an idea.” With no pen or paper on her, she took time visualising the story and later put down some notes about her hero. What is interesting about Rowling’s outlook on life back then was its level of pessimism. She took one of her mottos, “Life is suffering”, from Buddhism. Yet little so far had suggested this to be true. Now, however, things were to take a turn for the worse. As her relationship with her boyfriend deteriorated, and on New Year’s Eve 1990 she was woken by a call at 7.30am from her father, telling her that her
mother had died. A few months later, the few keepsakes she had of her mother were stolen from her Manchester flat. It was the last straw for Joanne. She determined to start a new life, applying for work as an English teacher in Portugal. Once there, she threw herself into her work and the social life, drinking at Swing a local club, and at the Meia Cava, where she met an intelligent handsome journalist called Jorge Arantes. She commenced a whirlwind romance with Jorge and became pregnant, moving into Jorge’s mother’s home, a small two-bedroomed flat in Porto. Then, in the summer of 1992, she miscarried. In August of that year, Jorge proposed. Their relationship was unstable. Both were jealous, with Jorge becoming increasingly so. This combined with Joanne’s independent mindedness led to stand-up rows in which neighbours thought he would kill her. A photograph of Joanne on their wedding day shows her already
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ABOVE LEFT Rowling with some of the stars of the Harry Potter films
ABOVE RIGHT Rowling studied at Exeter University in England
Initially living in a miceinfested flat, she summed up the courage to borrow money from a friend to get out to another flat that was a little better.
looking uneasy and unsure. It wasn’t long before the couple had a child, Jessica. It was also not long before Joanne told Jorge that she didn’t love him. His response was to throw her out there and then and, in his own words, he “slapped her very hard in the street”. Joanne’s response was simple. She went back to the house the next day and took the baby. Then she left Portugal as soon as she could, returning home to Britain in October 1993 to face a life on benefits in Scotland, where her sister Dianne now lived. This was the start of her darkest time. Initially living in a mice-infested flat in Leith, Edinburgh, she summed up the courage to borrow money from a friend to get out to another flat that was a little better. She fell into depression, struggling with her sense of herself as a failure, and ashamed of having to live on State handouts. But what is fascinating about Rowling is her ability to transform these negatives into positives. The death of her mother saw her include in the Harry Potter story the idea of The Mirror of Erised, which allowed Harry to stare at the images of his dead parents.
Her depression she turned into the wraith-like Dementors that affect Harry so badly in the books. During this time, she took to writing whilst Jessica slept in Nicolson’s, her sister’s café. She worked on the manuscript while weathering the dark times, determined to keep writing. In the following summer of 1994, Joanne started to turn a corner. She took a small parttime secretarial job, though she felt trapped by the benefit rules, which allowed her to earn £15 a week on top of the £69 she received from the State. But she had begun to find a purpose and a direction. In 1995, she managed to come off of benefits for good to become a full-time student. She continued to write, but she was now determined to be a teacher. On 26 June her divorce was finalised – symbolic of a fresh start. She could have gone on to be a talented teacher, but life changed for Joanne when her manuscript was accepted for representation by the Christopher Little Agency. He got her to change her nom de plume from Joanne Rowling to J K Rowling, so boys wouldn’t be put off by reading a woman writer. They sold UK rights to her book for £1,500 in 1996 to Bloomsbury. To Rowling it seemed like a fortune, though she was told in no uncertain terms by her agent that there was no money in children’s
books. Then something extraordinary happened. The same week the UK first edition of Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone was published, the US rights sold for $100,000 at auction. It was a marketing gift. The press loved the story of the young woman writer who had lived in poverty landing a huge contract. The J K Rowling phenomenon took off. As a global brand, Harry Potter is estimated to be worth US $15 billion, while the last four books in the series consecutively set records as the fastest-selling books in history. Her work has been credited with reversing the trend away from books to computers among children, and they have been translated as a whole or in part into 65 languages. Rowling herself appears to have found happiness in her life, especially with her marriage to Dr Neil Michael Murray. Photos of her in her younger days depict a watchful woman who never smiles with her eyes. Nowadays photos reveal a woman far more comfortable with herself. She still enjoys the company of children more than adults, and was reported to have been shaking at the knees when she received her honorary degree from Exeter University in 2001. One of the hallmarks of Rowling is her unwillingness to compromise her vision. She stuck to her writing when life
Rowling reportedly clashed with Stephen Spielberg, which is why he didn’t come in as director on the first film. ABOVE Rowling at a press event to promote the final Harry Potter book
ABOVE This is not an uncommon site in many homes across the world
LEFT The Harry Potter film series made stars of many of the cast members
seemed hopeless, and she retained control over the scripts when the film rights were negotiated, reportedly clashing with Stephen Spielberg, which is why he didn’t come in as director on the first film in the series. She even turned down an invitation from the Queen to receive an OBE because her daughter was, she said “ill”. In fact, Jessica was in a school play and Joanne refused to miss it, even for Her Majesty. With the end of the Harry Potter stories, Rowling has gone on to write two adult titles, The Casual Vacancy and The Cuckoo’s Calling. The latter, a detective novel, was published under a pseudonym to test how her books would be judged. It received critical acclaim, with some marvelling at the assuredness of the writing. Not a natural celebrity, J K Rowling is an extremely private individual. And though her beginnings are not remarkable, her story, as well as her stories, clearly is. They are the inspiration for millions across the world, and there can be no doubt that her work has put magic into the lives of children of every age.
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FEATURE THE BEST YOU THE BEST YOU
TRANS-ATLANTIC ACUMEN Steve Ridgway’s
childhood as a ”West Country Boy” on his father’s farm is a far cry from the heights he achieved later in life as the CEO of Virgin Atlantic Bernardo Moya uncovers the story of his rise to success.
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IGHT from the start, Steve Ridgway is clear about one thing. His childhood on his father’s farm in Devon taught him vital skills and attitudes for later life. Improvising around problems and responding to the dynamic nature of his environment was a great education. His childhood was ”privileged” and ”happy”, he recalls. Indeed, his relationship
with his family was so good that years on he runs a business with his younger brother. As for school-life, no clues to his future, there. ”I was never really that strong on the science and technical side and yet my life has been very much around inventing things and wanting to build things and so, I guess I was intuitively quite good at it.” As for his general attitude to school, he is diffident: ”Like everybody at that age, I probably should have worked
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MAIN PICTURE Steven Ridgway has had many great experiences
harder.” Yet there are flashes of his future outside of school. An early taste of the activity that would one day bring him into contact with the UK’s most flamboyant entrepreneur, Richard Branson, came during the summer holidays. ”We had a very active sailing club and I used to spend as much time as I could sailing on the estuary in Salcombe, so that was pretty fantastic.” Steve graduated from university with a degree in economics, did a graduate sales management programme, and worked for three years for one of the great names in British business Jimmy – later Sir James – Goldsmith. Understanding sales was vital, he says. ”It doesn’t matter whether you’re in business, selling, or what you’re doing, I think having those skills is quite a science... They’ve certainly been with me in most of my subsequent career.” After realising he was no longer advancing in the company, Steve went back to college and for three years taught economics, politics and history, a great environment for learning a whole new set of skills. ”You have to stand up in
THE BEST YOU front of people, be articulate, be able to motivate... make them be interested in what you’re talking about and learning... You have to be very fast on your feet and the way you think.” Business soon called to him again, however, and he joined Toleman’s, the UK’s largest car delivery company. His flamboyant boss, Ted Toleman, enlisted Steve in his new Formula 1 team. Notably, they introduced Ayrton Senna to Formula One. Later, Toleman bought Cougar Marine, a company renowned for making fast boats and Steve landed a new job: ”I went off to open up and run their factory in North Miami Beach, which was sort of powerboat alley. I was out there for nearly four years with the beginning of my young family,” he recalls. ”I was the general manager of the plant... running the whole thing and responsible for the design and development of the products,” he adds. ”Every year we were winning the World Offshore Boat Championship, which is like the Formula One of power boating.” To publicise the innovative hull design of one of their boats, someone suggested the idea of breaking the transAtlantic speed record. Serendipity then stepped in. Richard Branson had just
started Virgin Atlantic Airlines and needed cost-effective advertising for his business. Sponsoring the Blue Riband attempt was the answer. ”The boat was named Virgin Atlantic Challenger and we set off after much humming and hawing in 1985. We got within 130 miles of the Scilly Isles and then sank, got fished out the drink by a helicopter and winched off and taken back to the Scilly Isles where we said ’Dammit we’ll do it again!’” The following winter they built another boat and this time got across, breaking the record for the Atlantic crossing. ”We had a pretty difficult crossing and there were all sorts of problems with the fuel. We were stopped in the water for 12 hours, but we did break the record!” he smiles. The effect of the race was legendary. Richard Branson became a household name and the publicity for Virgin Atlantic was massive. On another level, Steve admits his view of risk was changed the day he decided ”to go and do something that was quite edgy and quite dangerous... racing this boat across the Atlantic day and night and charging 55 knots in the middle of the Atlantic, not being able to see debris, bits of iceberg, whatever it might be,” he recalls. On his return, Steve set-up a company with Chay Blyth
ABOVE Richard Branson invited Steve to join the Virgin family
LEFT Bernardo Moya interviews Steve Ridgway
FEATURE
to do round-the-world yacht racing. After Branson’s example, a rush of people wanted to go and pit themselves against the elements. It was a very successful business and they worked together for several years. By then, several of the Virgin Atlantic Challenger team were working for Virgin Atlantic. One day, Richard invited Steve to join him at the airline. He freelanced for a few years and formally joined in 1989. ”It just started growing and growing,” he recalls. ”We had equally tough periods when things like 9/11 came along and the Gulf wars. It was a fantastic thing to take the company from two aircraft to where it is today with forty aircraft... The company’s a £3 billion company now.” So why did Virgin succeed where other companies like Laker and Dan Air had failed? ”With force of personality and by being very aggressive and very challenging in our marketing, in the way we looked after customers, we were able to prevail,” he answers, explaining that Virgin built a reputation for looking after both its business and leisure travellers, which
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FEATURE THE BEST YOU T
older companies regarded as ”annoying”. ”From the beginning... we were going to make it a marketing business and a brand business and that’s where I had the empathy with Richard and Richard had the empathy with me.” His childhood learnings were definitely transferable skills: ”On the farm you have to be very innovative and intuitive about reacting to things and I think those two things came together in driving the agenda at Virgin Atlantic.” It suited Branson well, who loved being different. So what specifically accounts for the ”Virgin magic?” ”It’s about building a business for consumers and addressing consumers’ needs,” Steve says. Of course, Branson’s personality is part of the mix, Steve adds. He enjoys the idea of David taking on Goliath, as happened with BA, telecoms companies and mobile phone companies. As for the railways, ”It’s been about getting away from that old culture of British Rail and creating a brand that is different and that is largely around people.” As for making Virgin Atlantic work, Steve divides his role into two parts. ”You’re creating a promise that you’re going out to the market with your advertising, your brand, you’re making
sure it’s distributed through whatever the selling channels are... You’re making that promise about where you fly, how you’re going to look after people and how much you were going to charge them. So that’s the selling and marketing and brand side of the business. ”On the other side you have a massive operational department which delivers everything. It finds pilots and trains them; cabin crew, airport staff, engineers. Then you make sure you have a fleet of aircraft suitably fitted out with the right cabins and configurations for leisure passengers, for business passengers, whatever it is and you put that whole package together. It is a massive matrix of complexity, but essentially it’s around a marketing and selling machine that is making promises and then another part of the business that is delivering those promises. And I think if you deliver those promises and you deliver them well, that’s how you get your reputation and you get a virtuous circle because word of mouth is the most powerful vehicle.” Once you’re there, Steve adds, it’s about reinventing yourself and your business. That’s what Steve is doing again, now. Earlier this year, after steering Virgin Atlantic to its current massive success, Steve decided to find a new
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ABOVE Steve served as the CEO of Virgin Atlantic for many years
project. Interestingly, his roots may be calling him back down to Earth, quite literally. So what does the future hold in store? ”I don’t exactly know, but I have got tons of energy... I would like to use some of the learnings and some of the wisdom I have to, you know, do some advisory roles or some non-exec roles...” Then, as he talks, a light comes into his eye as he adds: ”My farming roots are coming back to me again. I remember my dad always saying ’It’s very nice owning a little chunk of England, even if you don’t own it for very long and maybe you’re renting it, but you do, you know, it’s your little chunk, so I can feel that a bit calling, so maybe go and become a farmer.’” His laughter says that he may not be entirely serious. But you can be sure that whatever he does in the future, it’s going to be interesting. b
STEPHEN RIDGWAY AT A GLANCE Grew up on a farm near Salcombe Economics BSc degree, Oxford Brookes University. Sales manager Cavenham Foods Business Development Manager at Toleman Group 1981-5 worked for Cougar Marine and moved to Miami 1985-6 Chief Pilot on Virgin Atlantic Challenger 1989 joined Virgin Atlantic 1994 board director Virgin Atlantic 1998 Managing Director of Virgin Atlantic 2001 Chief Executive of Virgin Atlantic 2013 retires as CEO of Virgin Atlantic 2013 looking for new challenges
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PINNING DOWN CHARISMA Nikki Owen, the ‘Charisma Queen’ tells us how this elusive quality can make you successful
TIME TO BREAK FREE We all have thoughts that are holding us back. Susan Armstrong gives us some advice to break free
INNER YOU
NIKKI OWEN
Is Charisma a transcendental power or simply an airy-fairy development fad? Nikki Owen, UK’s leading expert in The Charisma Model, has devoted five years testing and developing her charisma blueprint during regular seminars. In this article, she shares her thoughts on charisma and how it can be developed.
PINNING DOWN
CHARISMA
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hat is it that causes people to turn their heads and stare at the individual who has just entered a packed networking event? What is that motivates the traditional Bank of England to offer the Governor of the Bank of Canada one of the most powerful jobs in the UK?
How is it that Boris Johnson manages to effortlessly grab the headlines when David Cameron’s press and media machine would pay good money for his vote-winning appeal? Why has Mary Portas’s career as a retail expert bagged her a government appointed position to lead a review into the future of Britain’s high streets?
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MAIN PICTURE Charisma comes in many forms
Charisma can be a ‘gift’ that is bestowed on the unworthy
The answer is charisma – a powerful presence that affords the individual who possess it high levels of impact and influence. Charisma leverages the odds of achieving desired outcomes and accelerates career progression and achievement. You know when somebody has it, because people notice them, pay attention to what they say, and gravitate towards them. The history books and media are full of examples of famous people who either possessed or still do possess high levels of charisma. Disturbingly, charisma can be a ‘gift’ that is bestowed on the unworthy as well as the worthy. It chooses not to distinguish between good or bad. It purely provides its
NIKKI OWEN INNER YOU
What is it exactly? If you can’t
define it (and there are many varying definitions of it) then you can’t teach it, let alone measure it. If you attempt to teach charisma with ‘behaviours’ that are not aligned with an individual’s core, authentic self, then they unwittingly come across as fake and contrived. Charming perhaps, but certainly not charismatic.
recipients with varying levels of all-encompassing attraction. From a successful leadership perspective, charisma is now the latest corporate ‘must have’ and the case for developing charisma has accelerated following recent research. According to Harvard Business Review and The University of Lausanne, charismatic leaders outperform their non-charismatic peers by about 60 per cent. Further studies have shown that charismatic people, are more resilient, find it easier to build strong relationships, build higher levels of engagement and are generally happier. Yet there are two issues that determine our charismatic potential:
How is it that Boris Johnson manages to effortlessly grab headlines while Cameron’s media machine would pay good money for his appeal?
Today, a combination of modern science with ancient wisdom is making major insights into charisma possible. By drawing upon scientific principles, psychology and extensive research-based studies and combining these with esoteric philosophies, there is an internal blueprint for charisma. Charisma is an authentic power that captivates the hearts and minds of others, or, to put it another way, when you are being ‘you’ and you love what you do, you shine. That means, regardless of your individual personality, whether you are introverted, extroverted, conscientious, affable, independent or trusting, you can unleash your own brand of charisma in a way that is aligned with who you really are inside. The quickest way to develop charisma is to adopt an ‘inside out’ approach and develop five internal attributes. Charismatic people have high self esteem and feel ‘comfortable in their
own skin’. When people possess high self-esteem, they become relaxed about showing others their true self. Charismatic individuals have a strong driving force and live their life based on what is important to them. Often referred to as ‘values’, these drive and motivate behaviour, so that individuals appear dynamic, passionate and enthusiastic. Charismatic individuals possess exceptional sensory awareness that allows them to tap into the feelings and the emotions of others. This makes them compelling to listen to. Charismatic people have a compelling vision of what they want. This creates a strong energy of intent that others can feel. Scientific and medical discoveries have proven that strong intentions result in physical manifestations. Charismatic people have a high energy that perpetuates and builds energy within others, creating a ‘feel good’ factor. You have the potential to become charismatic, because when you are feeling comfortable, confident and passionate about what you are doing, you radiate an aura of energy that captivates the attention of people around you. Once you begin to tap into your own charisma resource you active even more of your power to grow, expand and attain more of the results you want in all aspects of your life. b
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INNER YOU
SUSAN ARMSTRONG
TIME TO BREAK
FREE I
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Susan Armstrong, professional speaker, author and trainer brings us five ways to break free of the invisible prison we keep ourselves in.
t’s taken a long time to dismantle the prison I kept myself in, but it’s been worth it. My life is more wonderful today than I could ever imagine. All I had to do was identify my own faulty thinking and release myself from the invisible prison of my own making. What I have discovered since embarking on this journey within is that we all suffer these same faulty thought processes to some degree. We all keep ourselves locked in our own invisible prison and if we could just re-wire our thinking in our inside world, then our outside world will follow. In my case, I learned two misguided lessons at a very early age. I learned that the greatest sin of all was to upset another human being and in order for people to like me, I had to be “perfect”. Those two lessons kept me in a constant state of worry about pleasing others. They drained my self-esteem and left me with unhealthy coping skills that would rule my life for the next 30 years.
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We allow messages from the past to control our thinking about the future. We all carry messages, reflections of ourselves, delivered by others: the perfectionist parent, the friend who said you were not pretty enough, or the first boyfriend who made you believe you weren’t good enough. Every negative message impacts on our self-image. Of course these negative messages were not intended to purposely ruin your life. Chances are they were misguided attempts to make you behave or conform to some ideal standard. Whatever the reason, the problem is we took those damaging comments as truth and believed them. If we still believe them, we have to stop. If this is making you wonder about your own subconscious messages, then good. You should try to identify the messages you carry around because they are incorrectly internalised. We create what we believe. I believed I was worthless, so every time something went wrong
WHow many times do you let your thoughts and beliefs about your own abilities stand in the way of your success?
in my life I took it as proof that I was worthless. I was perpetuating a self-fulfilling prophecy. And we all do this. Whatever your negative messages are, instead of looking for proof that they’re true, look for proof that they’re false. Before you go to bed at night, take a few minutes and reflect back on your day. Instead of obsessing about all of the things you think you did wrong, focus on the things you did right. Acknowledge the errors, fix them, learn from them, but focus on all of the positive aspects of the day and your ability to move forward. You can’t get rid of nagging negative messages overnight but you can start to replace them with positive ones. We teach people how to treat us and we don’t always realise we’re doing it. We teach spouses, friends, colleagues
and even our children how to treat us. I have a friend who provides a perfect example. When she wants something done around the house she asks once and after the third time, does it herself. What has her partner learned? That if he doesn’t do it, she will. This leaves her feeling upset and angry because he appears to not listen or care. And we do other people’s thinking for them. “Oh, I can’t apply for that promotion or open my own business because I’m not smart, experienced or educated enough…” How many times do you let your thoughts and beliefs about your own abilities stand in the way of your success? How many times do you allow the negative messages to provide more weight in decision making than the positive ones. The only
MAIN PICTURE Do something every day that makes you feel free
TOP RIGHT We can create prisons of the mind for ourselves
MIDDLE RIGHT Once you have recognised the prison, try to break free
BOTTOM RIGHT You are locking yourself in with your own thoughts
true failure is the failure to try. Years of negative thoughts and beliefs create behaviour patterns that are sometimes hard to break. How do you change this? You start to develop a clear picture of who you are and what you are capable of. Envision yourself freed from negativity and defeatist beliefs. Visualise yourself succeeding and take action. The Universe rewards action… You will find that once you take action, no matter how small, you start to see change. This is how you release yourself from your invisible prison. This is how you stop being sick and tired. You can have anything you want in this life; the only thing that’s standing in your way is you! You can visit www. susanarmstrongspeaks.com for more free information on how to transform your life now! b
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Join the revolution Live a Life Without Limits
www.thebestyoumagazine.co
THE BEST YOU
ENJOY LIFE
THE BEST
YOU
Laughter, humour, travel, love - these add the sparkle that make life worth living. Climb a mountain, give to others, start a family, embrace life... What are the things you wish you had done, but haven’t yet? Life is no rehearsal - find ways to enjoy it, whenever you can!
Life Without Limits
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JUST EAT IT This month’s Bucket List column is all about different dishes to nibble on before you die
DARE TO DREAM Tracey-Lee Scully gave up the life she knew for a challenge and the chance to fulfil her soul
BE WISE, DON’T CRITICISE Self-criticism has a way of bringing you down. Marisa Peer gives some advice of turning it around
ENJOY LIFE
BUCKET LIST
JUST EAT IT!
T
he world is full of amazing foods, from the weird to the wonderful. We’re not talking about funny bugs and Fear Factor stuff, but rather delightful morsels of delectability. Unfortunately the time and money factors mean that we generally stick to eating
①
spaghetti bolognaise, bangers and mash, or the occasional steak and chips. But there are dishes out there that will make you happy to be alive and then immediately fill you with regret for eating something that you can’t consume every day. Of course this list could be endless, but we are bringing you our top eight.
ON LIKE A MACARON
A couple of years ago, you couldn’t move around the city without seeing a cupcake shop on every corner. Macarons are fast becoming the new cupcakes as patisseries the world over put these delicious bursts of colour on display. They are basically two chewy meringues cemented together with ganache or curd. WORLD’S BEST: L’audree Macarons in Paris, France
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②
Part of enjoying life is living for the moment, so don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed before you make a list of what you should’ve done. Life is happening now, so start ticking things off that bucket list.
TUCK IN TO A BIT OF ‘ROO
Aborigines have long appreciated the benefits of kangaroo meat, the tail specifically being somewhat of a delicacy. Of course many people feel uncomfortable eating these bouncing beings, but they are delicious and high in conjugated linoleic acid, meaning it has health benefits too. WORLD’S BEST: The Meat & Wine Co in Melbourne, Australia
BUCKET LIST
ENJOY LIFE
③
THE GOLDEN TOUCH
④
WHERE’S THE BEEF?
Gold leaf is more about creating a feeling of opulence than taste, but you shouldn’t kick the bucket without being able to say that you ingested a bit of 24-carat gold. Decadent restaurants top their signature dessert dishes with gold leaf to make it just that much more extravagant. WORLD’S BEST: Golden Opulence Sundae at Serendipity 3 Café in New York, USA
Kobe beef is cuts of beef from the Tajima strain of wagyu cattle, so basically yummy Japanese cow. But like Champagne, it can only be called Kobe beef if it follows all the rules, which includes the bull being castrated to purify the beef and a marbling ratio of six or above. WORLD’S BEST: Wakkoku Kitanosaka Honten in Hyogo Prefecture, Japan
⑤
CAPRICIOUS CAPRESE
⑥
WHAT A QUACK
⑦
EVERYDAY I’M TRUFFLING
There’s nothing quite like eating fresh food and within that category there is nothing better than fresh buffalo mozzarella and ripe tomatoes drizzled in extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar. These simple flavours will please even the fussiest eaters, and it’s suitable for vegetarians too! WORLD’S BEST: Ballarò food market in Palermo, Italy
The perfect combination between an Eastern dream and a vibrant city, Bangkok is a fantastic opportunity to nourish the body and soul. Whether you are keen to indulge in a spot of shopping or get in touch with your inner Buddhist, this city has something for you. ATTRACTIONS: Siam Square for shopping, Dusit gardens and Thon Buri temple.
Peking duck is a dish that originates in Beijing, China and is so unbelievably tasty that you will keep going back for more way past the stage of loosening your belt buckle. The good news is that with China slowly taking over the world, Peking duck is available in most metropolises. WORLD’S BEST: Quanjude in Beijing, China
⑧
TO DIE FOR
Fugu is the Japanese word for pufferfish and the dish prepared from it. It is served as sashimi, considered a delicacy and is very expensive. Apparently the tastiest part of the fish is the liver, but it is poisonous and serving it in Japan was banned in 1984. The rest of it is fine though, if prepared by a professional. WORLD’S BEST: Ginza Fugu Fukuji in Tokyo, Japan
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ENJOY LIFE TRACEY-LEE SCULLY
DARE to DREAM
M
y nine-tofive job in London was well paid. I’d done all right for myself. I’d gone from South Africa to the UK recession, facing fierce competition in a city abounding with creative talent. By the end of 2012, I’d been working as a graphic designer for 10 years, doing
jobs others only dreamt of. I was a success in the eyes of society. Why, then, did I have a gnawing dissatisfaction with my achievements? I yearned to be creating things for myself, working with my hands and changing people’s lives for the better. As much as I wanted this, I didn’t know how to start upon this road, and I was filled with fear
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Less than a year ago Tracey-Lee Scully was sitting in a London office, banging out designs on her shiny Mac from nine-tofive for a large charitable organisation. She could not have imagined that six months later she’d be in Ecuador, volunteering through CMAP as an Art Educator to underprivileged children.
ABOVE LEFT The children of Ecudor are given a chance through art
ABOVE RIGHT CMAP knows the value of having a childhood
and doubt. While on a three-month sabbatical travelling in Latin America in 2011, I began to decipher what I wanted in my life. Concrete ideas began to take shape in my mind. I could formulate and put into words that I wanted to run a residency Mexico that used art and creativity for healing. I wanted to create a space
TRACEY-LEE SCULLY
ABOVE LEFT Tracey-Lee being hands-on with the kids
where I could, along with artists, artisans, or anyone for that matter, reside for a while and explore, be inspired and feel liberated; as well as work with local communities to empower and enrich them through skills sharing. Mexico had captured my heart and continues to inspire me through its creative energy; it is where I had tapped into my passions and drives to see clearly what it was I really loved. I needed to learn to speak Spanish; to gain experience in running creative workshops and working with communities. No sooner had I written these things down that I miraculously found an online ad for an eight-month volunteering position with CMAP in Ecuador. It could not be more perfect. I took the risk, resigned from my job and began fundraising to participate in the project. A large percentage of the money I raised came from selling and auctioning off all the excessive stuff I had. Not only was I making money from this, a huge weight was
also lifted off my shoulders by getting rid of what I did not need. I can’t thank those who supported me enough for helping me undertake this incredible journey. Here and now, in Ecuador, I could not be happier or feel more fulfilled. We work in the impoverished areas of Guayaquil called ‘sectors’ and the children that come to Art Club don’t have much else offered to them. Some come from situations where they have been working on the streets to help supplement their household income, some have the responsibility of taking care of several of their younger siblings and there are a couple who don’t even attend school. Working with them, I feel I am doing something positive for others and am making a real change for the better. I have seen how their confidence has grown – how wallflowers have become social butterflies and how the defensive have begun to confide. In this space, they can be free to be … children.
I can only applaud Juconi for the work they have been doing to get them off the streets and helping their families through an intensive support programme, as well as CMAP for supporting this cause and making it possible for people to come out here and volunteer. I have been learning all I have wanted to and so much more. I am on the road to pursuing my dreams. Where to next for me? Well, I will continue taking things step by step towards reaching my goals. I have no doubt that I can. Visit www.cmap.org.uk and www.juconi.org.ec for more information about these charities.
ENJOY LIFE
ABOVE CENTRE Tracey-Lee enjoying some downtime at the beach
FAR LEFT Tracey-Lee and the kids showing off their work
I have been learning all I have wanted to and so much more. I am on the road to pursuing my dreams
DID YOU KNOW ? • Art therapy teaches people how to use artistic activities to help them with mental, emotional, developmental, or physical problems. • 100 per cent of all donations made to Together with the Children goes straight to the JUCONI programmes in Mexico and Ecuador. • The JUCONI model is constantly being improved and is widely used as a template for other organisations involved with street children and worldwide.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO? Tracey-Lee is still raising funds for Art Club and donations would be greatly appreciated. You can contribute via her JustGiving page (please Gift Aid it if you are a UK taxpayer): http://www.justgiving.com/Tracey-Lee-Scully
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ENJOY LIFE
MARISA PEER
Be wise,
DON’T CRITICISE
Most of us want the same things: to be happy, have high self-esteeam and to find inner peace. While these can all seem very difficult to attain, Marisa Peer tells you how to attain these in four easy steps.
T
he first thing you need to do is to refuse to let in negative criticism. Always remember that the people who criticise others the most are actually reserving even more criticism for themselves. When someone is saying mean-spirited, it helps to say (or at least think) in response “this isn’t about
me it’s about you”. Miserable people want you to be miserable people too because then they feel equal to you. There is some value in constructive criticism. If you feel someone’s input can help make you better at what you do and it doesn’t tear you down, then it’s okay to let it in. If your biggest critic is someone close to you – such as an
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MAIN PICTURE Make yourself the object of your affection
BELOW Learn to love yourself
in-law, spouse, or sibling – it’s easier to say something like “What exactly are you trying to achieve by telling me I look hideous” followed by “That’s not going to work, because I’m not letting that in.” If the critic is your boss, it’s harder to confront them, but you can still make the decision that this is not about you and that you’re not going to let it in. The second thing you need to do is realise it’s even more important to stop criticising yourself. While your mind is able to rationalise the hurtful things that others say, your
MARISA PEER
ENJOY LIFE
DON’T ACCEPT IT A very famous guru met a journalist who was out to prove him as a fraud. Whatever the guru said, the journalist would counteract by saying: “Everything you say is meaningless. I don’t believe in any of this.” Throughout his barrage of criticism, the guru continued to smile and beam until the exasperated journalist said “Why are you smiling when I keep telling you how rubbish you are?” To which the still smiling guru said: “If you offer me a gift and I don’t accept it, who has the gift?” And the journalist said “Well, I would” and he replied, “Exactly I don’t accept your criticisms and therefore they’re left with you.” OPPOSITE Gaining confidence means doing something scary
mind cannot argue or object to its own thoughts. Unfortunately, too many people wake up and begin a litany of self-criticism and can continue throughout the day. Imagine if you started your day with your best friend negatively criticising you. If a friend spoke to you this way on a regular basis, there’s no way they would still be your friend. You need to talk to yourself as if you’re your own best friend and stop negative criticism. You’re allowed to make a mistake – it’s the only way humans learn anything. So when you do something wrong, don’t tell yourself you are stupid. Just tell yourself you’ve made a mistake and learned a lesson so you won’t do it again. Criticism withers people (especially self criticism) while praise makes them grow. Inferior people criticise, superior people praise. The third thing you need to do is let in compliments. If you’re the type of person who,
each time someone says you look nice or that you did a good job, refutes the compliment by belittling your achievements or your appearance, you’re hurting yourself. It’s as though someone is giving you a gift and you are giving it right back to them and refusing to accept it. Studies have shown that praising yourself is as effective as being praised by somebody else. That means that you can say “I did a great job” and you don’t have to wait for people to affirm you. Think of all the things you’d like to hear from others and begin saying it to yourself. The last step, which is my favourite one, is that you must say these three simple words to yourself each day: “I am enough.” Say this to yourself when you’re in the shower, cleaning your teeth, walking your dog. In my 25 years experience as a therapist, I’ve noticed that the source of so many people’s problems goes back to them not feeling
OPPOSITE Gaining confidence means doing something scary
Even if they achieve success, people still hold the belief that they’re not enough, because that’s how they felt during their childhood. The root of so many modern problems
attractive enough, funny enough, or successful enough. Even if they achieve success, people still hold the belief that they’re not enough, because that’s how they felt during their childhood. The root of so many modern problems – hoarding, excessive drinking, compulsive shopping, and over-eating – come back to a need to fill the inner emptiness of not being “enough” with external things. So if you want to change your life, you must refuse to accept criticism, stop criticising yourself, accept praise and tell yourself you’re enough. These steps are a wonderful thing to teach your children and are a great way to get more out of your employees or your spouse. b
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THE BEST YOU
BOOK REVIEWS
THE BEST
YOU
Life Without Limits
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Great reading, viewing and listening to empower, entertain, enrich, delight and enhance. The Best You rounds up classics and new books and media products that will make such a positive difference in your life.
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.” – P.J. O’Rourke
BOOK REVIEWS
THE BEST YOU
GET THE LIFE YOU LOVE NOW BY PHIL PARKER
This book combines new thinking, cutting edge neuroscience, humour, and Phil Parker’s upside-down perspective to life’s problems and their solutions to help you become happy and fulfilled. Learn about: • • • •
How powerful language is in maintaining ‘stuckness’ - and for creating change How to change the way your brain works, by recognising and interrupting negative thought patterns How to develop awareness of exactly what you need to do differently, so that you can become your own coach Choosing a new future - and making sure that it happens.
Based on two decades of research and Phil’s world-changing Lightning Process®, Get the Life You Love Now takes you step-by-step through an amazing journey of self-discovery unlike anything you’ve ever done before.
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THE BEST YOU
BOOK REVIEWS
Astonishing, swift and simple.” – The Independent
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BOOK REVIEWS
THE BEST YOU
CONFIDENT CHILDREN BY GAEL LINDENFIELD
A parent’s guide to helping children feel good about themselves. A new larger format revised edition of the parenting classic A child’s level of confidence is a key factor in forming their personality and confidence in later life. It is crucial for children to learn to love themselves – all adult issues of self-love, positive thinking and clear goals are equally as important for children and it is much easier to learn these attitudes when growing up. This book looks at how to provide a helpful environment for children to grow up with a sense of both inner and self-confidence. Lindenfield also stresses the need for learning about children’s health, because problems like bed-wetting and temper tantrums, may be confidence and attention issues. She also focuses on the stress levels of the parent – quelling your own stresses relaxes your child. The book also includes important sections on giving your child space and freedom, plenty of stimulation and encouragement, communication and ground rules.
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THE BEST YOU
BOOK REVIEWS
I would recommend this book, not just to parents, but to teachers, youth workers and anyone who cares about the self esteem of children.” – Aileen Mccauley
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BOOK REVIEWS
THE BEST YOU
THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON BY ELAINE N. ARON
For those people who have a keen imagination; are labelled too shy or too sensitive; who perform poorly when being observed even though they are usually competent; have vivid dreams; for whom time alone each day is essential; and find they are quickly overwhelmed by noise and confusion, crowded parties, hectic office life, this is the book to help them understand themselves and how best to cope in various situations. Highly sensitive people are often very bright and creative but many suffer from low self-esteem. They are not ‘neurotics’ as they have been labelled for so long. However, high sensitivity can lead them to cease to engage with the outside world. The book offers solutions for a happy and fulfilling life. Particularly in the way an HSP perceives his or herself: the book helps to ‘reframe’ past events, such as a difficult childhood, or how they see themselves. Particularly strong material for those raising a sensitive child
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THE BEST YOU
BOOK REVIEWS
This remarkable book speaks clearly to highly sensitive people. It gives a fresh perspective, a sigh of relief, and a good sense of where we belong in society.” – John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
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BOOK REVIEWS
THE BEST YOU
SOCCER TOUGH BY DAN ABRAHAMS
“Take a minute to slip into the mind of one of the world’s greatest soccer players and imagine a stadium around you. Picture a performance under the lights and mentally play the perfect game.” Technique, speed and tactical execution are crucial components of winning soccer, but it is mental toughness that marks out the very best players – the ability to play when pressure is highest, the opposition is strongest, and fear is greatest. Top players and coaches understand the importance of sport psychology in soccer but how do you actually train your mind to become the best player you can be? Soccer Tough demystifies this crucial side of the game and offers practical techniques that will enable soccer players of all abilities to actively develop focus, energy, and confidence. Soccer Tough will help banish the fear, mistakes, and mental limits that holds players back.
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THE BEST YOU
BOOK REVIEWS
A must read for any coaches wanting to help their players to reach their potential. Excellent advice.” – Mark Bick
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WONDERS OF LIFE BY PROFESSOR BRIAN COX & ANDREW COHEN In this beautiful and definitive new book, Professor Brian Cox takes us on an incredible journey to discover how a few fundamental laws gave birth to the most complex, diverse and unique force in the Universe – life itself. There are thought to be as many as 100 million different species on Earth – each and every one governed by the same laws. Everything in the Universe, from the smallest microbe to the largest cluster of galaxies, is constructed from the same fundamental building blocks and is subject to the same laws of nature. What is true for a bacterium is true for a blue whale. This is the story of the amazing diversity and adaptability of life told through the fundamental laws that govern it. Through his voyage of discovery, Brian will explain how the astonishing inventiveness of nature came about and uncover the milestones in the epic journey from the origin of life to our own lives. From the vast networks of subterranean freshwater caverns of the Yucatan peninsula to the unique and precious island of Madagascar, Brian will seek out the places where the biggest questions about life may be answered: what is life? Why do we need water and why does life end?
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THE BEST YOU
BOOK REVIEWS
He bridges the gap between our childish sense of wonder and a rather more professional grasp of the scale of things.” – Independent
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THE BEST YOU
LIVE LOVE LEGACY
THE BEST
YOU
What do you want to be remembered for? What are your relationships like with those around you? How does life treat you - and how do you treat your life? There is so much good in you. Enrich your life with the passion you feel and the connections you make.
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GET OVER A BREAKUP IN 30 DAYS We interview happiness expert Sophie Keller about her new online programme
FIGHTING TO LEARN Malala Yousafzai is an education activist and women’s rights pioneer. Anything but your average teen
LIVING WITH PASSION
Andrea Evans knows that passion is what drives us and makes us happy. So find your passion
LIVE LOVE LEGACY THE BEST YOU
HOW TO GET OVER
A BREAKUP
IN 30 DAYS!
B
reaking up with your partner can be extremely hard, whether you were only together for a couple of months, or many years. Breakups can leave us feeling empty and in some cases feeling worthless, regardless of whether you are the dumper or dumpee. Imagine someone came along with a magic wand, waved it and made all those bad feelings disappear. Happiness Expert and best-selling author Sophie Keller may not be your fairy godmother, but she has the experience, and now the programme, to help you get over both your ex partner and to help you stop repeating the same habit of choosing people who aren’t right for you. According to the outline of the programme, “Get Over a Breakup in 30 Days” is a four-week online where Sophie guides you through, step-bystep, to help you to get over your breakup fast and stop you from attracting the same kind of person over and over again. “Not only do I help you release any behaviours that are unconsciously ruining your relationships, we will also uncover the kind of person you’re really going to be most compatible with, which might be a bit of a revelation. It’s really like having 14 highly transformative private coaching sessions with me, in a very affordable package,” she says.
If you’ve gone through at least one awful breakup in your life, as most of us have, then help is at hand. The Best You chats to Sophie Keller about her new project: How to Get Over a Breakup in 30 Days. What makes this programme different from all the others out there is that Sophie has a real understanding of people and what makes people right for each other. After all, 2 of her best-selling books are on relationships. ‘How Happy is Your Love Life? 50 Great tips to Help You Attract and Keep the perfect Partner’ and ‘How Happy is Your Marriage? 50 Great Tips to Make Your Relationship Last Forever.’
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ABOVE LEFT Sophie Keller has developed a new online programme
MAIN PICTURE Breaking up is never easy, but there is help right here
“There are way too many divorces. Why is that? Are we not making great decisions in the first place?” asks Sophie. “How do you make sure that you are choosing the right person to go the distance with? Because life is full of great joys and obstacles and you need to know that you can face those obstacles together as a team and not take the stress out on each other. There are seven billion people on the planet says Sophie and
THE BEST YOU
there is someone out there for everyone no matter how old anyone is or where they live, in this program we figure out exactly what went wrong, how to avoid the same mistakes next time round and how to magnetize your perfect partner once and for all!” According to Sophie, a large part of being successful in attracting someone amazing is changing your attitude. “If you always do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you’ve always got”, she says wisely. “I think many of us need help to stop repeating the same patterns and attracting the same kind of person over and over again. This means looking at past relationships as a learning ground. “It’s
important that you don’t just get over a break up, it’s also important that you heal and learn lessons with each partner In that way not only do you become clearer about who you are, you get clearer on what kind of person would be a great fit for you. “I’m so excited for the participants, There are so many surprises though the 14 lessons and I don’t want to give away too much. Each module builds on the next. After writing four books in quick succession I knew I wanted to do something different this year and this is it. It’s for two kinds of people those who have never been married and those who are divorced and are starting a new life.” b
LIVE LOVE LEGACY
SOPHIE’S TOP TIPS FOR GETTING OVER A BREAKUP: Let got of your emotions surrounding the break up. Forgive yourself. Get over the fear that you won’t meet someone else – trust that you will. Let go of beliefs that are stopping you, such as negative self-criticism. Look at the pattern you keep getting yourself into and realise the people you have been attracted to are wrong for you. Live in the present and enjoy your life. Make the most of being single. Think about whom you are looking to meet.
In this digital program you get 14 modules over 30 days. Each module is delivered in a video format and arrives in your inbox along with a workbook PDF. For more information on Sophie and ‘How To Get Over a Breakup in 30 Days’ visit: http://www.howhappyis.com
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LIVE LOVE LEGACY THE BEST YOU
FIGHTING TO LEARN When you think of the average 16-year-old girl, she is probably experimenting with make-up, texting incessantly and getting over her fist boyfriend. This is not the case for Malala Yousafzai, one of the world’s most famous education activists. MAIN PICTURE Malala is fighting for women’s right to an education
M
alala Yousafzai was born on 12 July 1997 in Pakistan. She comes from the town of Mingora in the Swat District of Pakistan’s northwestern Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province. She rose to international fame when on 9 October 2012, she was shot in the head and neck in an assassination attempt by Taliban gunmen while coming home from school
on the school bus. Despite that being the moment that she became a household name, she had been a notable figure in education activism for some time. In early 2009, at the age of 11 to 12, Yousafzai wrote a blog under a pseudonym for the BBC describing her life under Taliban rule, their attempts to take control of the valley and her views on promoting education for girls. Malala’s father, Ziauddin Yousafzai, owns
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Malala wrote a blog under a pseudonym for the BBC describing her life under Taliban rule, their attempts to take control of the valley
a school in the area and he is an education activist himself. Abdul Hai Kakkar, a Pakistani BBC reporter, asked Ziauddin if any women at his school would write about life under the Taliban. At the time, Taliban militants were taking over the Swat Valley, banning television, music, girls’ education, and women from going shopping. Initially, a girl named Aisha from her father’s school agreed to write a diary, but the girl’s parents prevented her from doing it because they feared Taliban would retaliate. The only alternative was Yousafzai, four years younger than the original volunteer. But the editors at the BBC unanimously agreed that Malala was the right girl for the job. The summer following Malala’s blogging for the BBC, the New York Times decided to do a documentary about her life as the Pakistani military
THE BEST YOU intervened in the region, culminating in the Second Battle of Swat. It was then that Yousafzai began to rise in prominence, giving interviews in print and on television. She was also nominated for the International Children’s Peace Prize by South African activist Desmond Tutu. But sadly it was the event that took place almost a year ago now that made the general public sit up and take notice of the amazing work she had done up until that point. Suddenly she was on the front page of every international newspaper and the first story on every television news report. In the days immediately following the attack, she remained unconscious and in critical condition. Luckily within a week her condition improved enough for her to be sent to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham, United Kingdom for intensive rehabilitation. In response to the assassination attempt, just three days after the shooting, a group of 50 Islamic clerics in Pakistan issued a fatwā – a ruling of Islamic law – against those who tried to kill her, but the Taliban only said once again that they still had the intention of killing both Malala and her father. Malala has since made a full recovery, and surprisingly to many people who are turned off their causes by a lot less,
has not less this incident deter her. She recently gave a talk at the United Nations about the plight of girls not receiving an education. And as a sign of good faith, 12 July was officially dubbed by the UN as “Malala Day.” Malala, together with 500 youth delegates from 85 different countries, celebrated her sweet sixteen on this day while advocating for universal education at the United Nations headquarters in New York City. The assassination attempt received worldwide media coverage and produced an outpouring of sympathy and
WATCH MALALA’S LEGENDARY TALK AT THE UNITED NATIONS EARLIER THIS YEAR
ABOVE Malala still showing some of the physical effects of the attack
The Taliban cannot stop all voices through the force of bullets
LIVE LOVE LEGACY
anger. Protests against the shooting were held in several Pakistani cities the day after the attack. Pakistani officials offered a reward to the equivalent of $105,000 for information leading to the arrest of the attackers. Responding to concerns about his safety, Malala’s father said, “We wouldn’t leave our country if my daughter survives or not. We have an ideology that advocates peace. The Taliban cannot stop all independent voices through the force of bullets.” b
AN EXCERPT FROM MALALA’S BBC BLOG I had a terrible dream yesterday with military helicopters and the Taleban. I have had such dreams since the launch of the military operation in Swat. My mother made me breakfast and I went off to school. I was afraid going to school because the Taleban had issued an edict banning all girls from attending schools. Only 11 pupils attended the class out of 27. The number decreased because of Taleban’s edict. My three friends have shifted to Peshawar, Lahore and Rawalpindi with their families after this edict. – 3 January 2009 BBC blog entry
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LIVE LOVE LEGACY ANDREA EVANS
We get one go of it in our lifetime. Yet so many of us our in denial of our dreams, living out life that was dictated to us by our society or worse, our family. Wellness blogger, Andrea Evans
I
F we stop running on auto-pilot in constant motion we may have the opportunity to ask ourselves what we really want, what we desire and what ignites our inner fire. All of us have a unique gift to bring to the world. Many of us never acknowledge it due to overwhelming obligation to the treadmill of our lives. Where does this leave us? Living in a default system? Never getting to know who we really are, what makes us tick, and where our true happiness lies? Our
LIVING WITH
PASSION MAIN PICTURES Find your passion in life, no matter what it is
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happiness is within us. It is our truth. I wonder why we are content to do things that do not bring us joy and do not fill our hearts. I have dear friends that live trapped in jobs or relationships that stifle them. The excuses are all of the same cloth. “I’ll never find another job.” “I’ll never find another partner.” “It’s not so bad.” “Could be worse.” I hear this all the time along with complaints about the status quo of life, and endless miserable tales of routine activity. The definition of passion according to Wikipedia is: “An intense emotion compelling feeling, enthusiasm, or desire for something.”
We all have desires that we suppress and back up with endless excuses. Isn’t it exhausting? Our passion is what really makes us tick, what brings out the best in us. It is truly where we can experience the best, most alive version of ourselves. I recently wrote a blog questioning our suppression of passion: “I wondered if talking about our desires together is too deep an ocean to dive in… And why I would think that thought? Why do we allow our true desires to be diminished? Why don’t we have conversations regularly around our truest, deepest love and passion? My passion is participating in these
ANDREA EVANS
We and our decisions both would be well served to take some of the famed detective’s advice conversations and exploring what makes us tick. I find it exciting to speak authentically about what drives us and the energy that sustains us, that life-force energy that makes us go, our heart beat fast and our smile widen. I wonder why passion is not on our to-do list. Why are there only some who have the courage to follow their heart? Living our dreams and being honest about our true desires should be a priority. When we are living from our centre that guides us to our deepest happiness, we are in our true power, being real and loving ourselves fully. Shouldn’t passion get the respect it deserves?” I invite you to open up this conversation with yourself. I invite you to discover your
LIVE LOVE LEGACY
RIGHT Remember to do what makes you happy
gift. When we are living in our own authenticity, we are living in our greatest power, where intention and desire marry, and happiness is the result. Some of us don’t know what are true passion is. We try many different things hoping one of them will feel right, and we can wake up saying “Aha… this is what I am supposed to be doing! This is were I feel my inner fire burning.” I remember when I discovered my true passion. I thought it sounded crazy at the time. I mean, whose passion is making others smile? Other than a clown, of course? And I had no desire to be a clown. I had a deep desire to encourage others to know their own truth. To know they are beautiful inside and out, no matter
BELOW Having fun is an important part of life
what past conditioning or society may say. I had a desire to wave a flag for equality, humanitarianism, faith and love. I did not know how I was going to do that. I only knew I wanted to spread the word. With no road map and only faith, my ideas weaved themselves together like a beautiful tapestry. My passion still leads the way. I do find roadblocks and uncertainty, but they do not stop the fire from burning. I know as long as I listen to my heart and feed my desire, the road I travel is paving itself.
b
RECOMENDED READING
The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now: www.thebestyou.co
Conversations with God By Neale Donald Walsch
The Secret By Rhonda Byrne
Chicken Soup For The Soul By Jack Canfield
l An
l Anyone
l Stories
Uncommon Dialogue
can access its power
to open the heart and spirit
WWW.THEBESTYOUMAGAZINE.CO | 47
NLP TRAINING with RICHARD BANDLER Co-Creator of NLP
in London INTRODUCTION TO NLP
An evening with Richard Bandler 4th October 2013
LICENSED PRACTITIONER OF NLP 7th – 13th October 2013
LICENSED MASTER
PRACTITIONER OF NLP 5th – 13th October 2013
Book today on +44(0)207 927 6500 www.nlplifetraining.com info@nlplifetraining.com 48 | WWW.THEBESTYOUMAGAZINE.CO
THE BEST YOU
FEEL & LOOK GOOD
THE BEST
YOU
Feeling good about yourself makes the joy shine from your eyes and your skin. It makes others respond to you in new ways and it gives you a whole new outlook on life. Looking good draws others to you and enhances your life in ways you haven’t yet imagined. It’s great to find new ways to feel and look good now!
Life Without Limits
TM
KEEP YOUR HAIR ON! Hair loss affects a large percentage of the population. We look at what causes it and how to live with it
A BIG PROBLEM Obesity is on the rise in most developed countries and it’s putting our health at risk, Susannah Gilbert reports
FEEL & LOOK GOOD
Hair loss is often a natural process, although it does come in many different forms, some of which are treatable. The Best You's Associate Editor, Matt Wingett, gives you the heads up on different forms of hair loss and what to do about it and Will, a man who suffers from Alopecia, tells us his story and how he's learned to live with his condition.
MATT WINGETT
W
ill, a 41-yearold artist who lives in Hampshire talks about how complete hair loss affected him. I started to lose my hair when I was 27 years old. I suppose I had a "headstart" on some men adjusting to hair loss because my father had male pattern baldness and I knew one day that I would inherit it. I wasn't prepared for the day that half my eyebrow fell out. It changed the whole way my face looked and my confidence was really knocked. My dermatologist told me
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MAIN PICTURES Having a great hair day is something some people only dream of
I had alopecia areata, which is the less advanced form of alopecia. When I lost my eyebrows completely, I had a steroid directly into my skin, which resulted in my losing the top layer of my skin above the eyes, and no regrowth. Over the following year, the hair loss spread until eventually I had no hair left at all. It really shook my confidence further. I took to wearing a hat whenever I was due to go out, and I felt deeply self-conscious. I noticed, too, that other people looked at me differently. I didn't know if that was because some people shave their heads to look
MATT WINGETT
FEEL & LOOK GOOD
MAIN CAUSES OF HAIR LOSS Male Pattern Baldness: there is a 4 in 7 chance of inheriting the genes which cause the most common form of hair loss. Male Pattern Baldness or Androgenic Alopecia tends to become more prevalent in men as they grow older – about a quarter of men show some baldness at the age of 30, whereas two thirds are balding at the age of 60. It's natural, so relax! Alopecia Areata, Totalis and Universalis: these are different forms of the same problem, which appears to be a fault with the auto-immune system. Alopecia areata, or spot baldness is characterised by loss of clumps of hair, totalis by complete loss of head hair, and universalis by loss of hair on the entire body. There is limited treatment for these forms of alopecia. Traction Alopecia: this is caused by tension on the hair from ponytails or cornrows, as well as excessive brushing. Simply stopping this can give the time hair to recover in many cases. Trichotillomania: is hair loss caused by compulsive pulling. This can lead to permanent hair loss if not checked, and the best thing to do is get psychological help as soon as you can.
more imposing, but I certainly felt that strangers were less comfortable around me. I tried to cover up with a hat whenever I could. I reached an "in-between stage" in which I would wear a hat if I was due to meet someone new, but not if I was with friends. Then, as I began to accept that the baldness was here forever, I took to forcing myself to go out without a hat. At the same time, I began to adjust to the change in myself. I noticed that as I relaxed, the people around me relaxed, too. Actually now I am very comfortable with my look. My regret nowadays is that when it
went patchy I didn't shave it all off. I would have felt more in control of it if I had shaved it off when some was still there. Once I'd lost it, however, it was done and dusted. All I had to do was work on my self-confidence. The cosmetics of it weren't important. I had to work on the stuff going on inside. I reached a point where I realised that this baldness is just an appearance - and plenty of people change that all the time, by shaving their heads, having tattoos and piercings. My baldness is nothing in comparison to some of the ways people look. These days I don't even think about it and I'm very happy with my unique look!
Telogen Effluvium: is the medical way of saying that trauma and illness can also cause hair to fall out. This can also be caused by chemotherapy, or even having a baby. Take heart! Often hair will grow back once the trauma is past. Other factors: stress, poor nutrition and air and water pollutants can also play a part in reducing the volume of hair. So taking the time to eat well, avoid harmful chemical and living healthily will all contribute toward the lushness of your locks.
WHAT CAN YOU DO? Depending on the causes, there are different treatments for hair loss. These can include hair transplants, chemical treatments such as Minoxidil (Rogaine), egg oil and cortico-steroids. You can also use a wig to cover baldness.
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FEEL & LOOK GOOD SUSANNAH GILBERT
OBESITY: SOMEONE ELSE’S PROBLEM? If you are not overweight, it can be easy to think that the obesity is not your problem. But with around 60 per cent of our adult population overweight or obese, Susannah Gilbert explains that it is an issue that is going touch all our lives.
E
ven if you don’t
have a weight problem, the chances are you will know a relative or a friend that does. As the years pass this will only get worse as obesity issues are affecting younger and younger people. It is up to us all as a nation to speak up and work towards change for ourselves and future generations. “Obesity does not have only one cause,” states nutritionist Jessica Villa “even though diet plays a major role
in the development of this problem, it could be referred to as an ‘umbrella’ term, meaning that there are multiple causes to obesity, such as lifestyle, diet, illness, social environment, level of education, etc.” =Diet alone may not make you obese, but the sum of a sedentary life, together with a fast-food-based diet, laced with saturated fats and refined sugars, could most certainly lead to obesity. Fizzy drinks are a big problem too, full of refined sugar syrup, which is readily turned into fat by
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MAIN PICTURE Morbid obesity is no laughing matter. It is a huge problem
ABOVE Being ashamed of your weight has become the norm
the body and challenges the pancreas, which can lead to diabetes. People need to stay away from refined, prepared foods and stick to a more natural, wholesome diet with plenty of fruit and vegetables, wholemeal breads and pastas, grilled meats or fish and plenty of natural water. Putting thought into what we eat can really make the difference in our health and is the best policy for an obesity-free life.” There is no quick fix. If there was the world would not be facing an obesity crisis. We
SUSANNAH GILBERT FEEL & LOOK GOOD all know that heart disease, diabetes and certain types of cancers are more common in obese people, but there are also a whole range of other problems that overweight people face. We regularly hear from people about their struggle with emotional issues relating to food and weight. This is something that covers a wide arena from bullying to low selfesteem, bulimia, depression and comfort eating. The latter can start subconsciously and then lead to a lifetime of unhealthy food habits. These problems are often kept secret which can in turn cause feelings of isolation. We live in a society that offers to supersize everything for us from plate sizes to milk shakes. Walking into some shops there are stands of fat filled products to tempt the shopper before they even reach the main aisles. Trays of muffins and cakes stand proudly in prime position. What makes it even more astonishing is the quantity in these packs – ten doughnuts are not an unusual sight! We know as a nation we need to review our relationship with food and portion control so this doesn’t help the problem. Being active is important for us all, but this in itself can be a challenge both physically and emotionally for overweight people – a
ABOVE Poor diets and inactivity are mostly to blame
Don’t be put off, everyone has their Day One: make today yours. You can do it.
swimming pool or gym can be daunt ing. What’s needed is more nationwide plus size only sports sessions. This will not only raise people’s activity levels but also their self-esteem. We also need to make sure overweight children are given every opportunity to get active in an environment where they don’t feel uncomfortable or bullied. Don’t be put off, everyone has their Day One: make today yours. You can do it. Set yourself smaller goals – a stone at a time. For those of you without weight problems, don’t judge. Offer positive support and remember people may have emotional issues that need to be dealt with too. Any long-term approach has to be a holistic one to help curb the obesity crisis and create foundations for a healthier future. b
RECOMENDED READING
SUPPORT IS AT HAND Big Matters addresses all aspects of daily life for overweight people in the UK. Being overweight can be very isolating and Big Matters aims to help people interact with others in the same position by offering positive support. Lifestyle information on a wide range of aspects through from nutrition to media requests and practical items such as extra large towels, the site constantly evolves with the input from individuals around the UK. Since 2004, its non-judgemental approach has been a focus of support for those living with obesity and will continue to expand its reach and services offered. For more information visit www.bigmatters.co.uk
The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now: www.thebestyou.co
Conversations with God By Neale Donald Walsch
The Secret By Rhonda Byrne
Chicken Soup For The Soul By Jack Canfield
l An
l Anyone
l Stories
Uncommon Dialogue
can access its power
to open the heart and spirit
WWW.THEBESTYOUMAGAZINE.CO | 53
FEEL & LOOK GOOD
THE BEST YOU
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THE BEST YOU
WEALTH & RICHES
THE BEST
YOU
Wealth [n] “happiness,” also “prosperity in abundance of possessions or riches” from Middle English “wele”, meaning “well-being”. Riches [n] “valued possessions, money, property,” Making money and bringing greater wealth to EVERY area of your life...
Life Without Limits
TM
“I WANT” DOESN’T GET Mel Carnegie explains that being demanding doesn’t always get you what you want, or need
ECONOMIC TURNING POINTS Dr Rohan Weerasinghe says that the economic climate is no reason to get disheartened
BE AN EFFECTIVE INTREPRENEUR Intrepreneurship takes the benefits of entrepreneurship without the risks. Emma Vites explains
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MEL CARNEGIE
"I WANT" DOESN'T GET...
T
HE links between language (thoughts we have) and results (experiences that follow) have fascinated me for years and I’ve realised that even everyday words and sayings can unintentionally hold us back. When people wish to improve something about their life, the statement tends to be "I want..." followed by whatever the desire may be. Numerous times I’ve cried out in despair "All I want is to be happy!" I realise now that this is precisely where I started to go wrong. We are regularly advised to focus on our wants and then make plans to achieve them. It may sound logical, but I’ve realised that this approach is entirely the incorrect way to go about things. Far from bringing the goal in to reality (even with a very real desire) the statement of 'wanting' only increases our experience of not
having. I'm not saying there's anything wrong in having goals – far from it. I’m saying that the way we go about goal-setting is flawed from the start. I’ve learned the more we get clear on what it is we want, the more we create the experience of not having. When we believe we don’t have, we feel inadequate, because we’re giving our fulfilment to something that is external. Confirming that until we achieve whatever the ‘wants’ may be, we’re simply not enough. Many years of frustration led me to this understanding. When it finally clicked, I felt a huge sense of relief – a feeling of freedom as the weight lifted from my shoulders. Because I’ve found that just a simple shift in the words we use has a profound impact on our immediate internal response, which influences our ability to bring things in to reality.
WEALTH & RICHES
Mel Carnegie often ponders the idea of wealth. It brings to her mind the saying her mother used to repeat to her when she was a child: "I want doesn't get!” This phrase, once understood, provides a wisdom that offers freedom and growth.
The key is in replacing "want" with “choose”… a word that is both neutral and supportive.
I learned that rather than stating what it is we 'want' to happen (which keeps it distant) it's much better to bring the desire into reality. It’s about deliberately finding a link between now and the future. It's about already experiencing what it is we think we’d like to be, do or have before it happens. Very motivational for creating solutions. The key is in replacing "want" with “choose”… a word that is both neutral and supportive. For example "I want to feel happy" (which feels unattainable) becomes "I choose to feel happy" (sparking the possibility it’s achievable). “Choose” goals allow us to experience the possibility – and decide whether the goal is indeed important or just habitual mind-chatter. “I want” doesn’t get. Whereas “I choose” opens a heap of possibilities. Now that’s what I call real wealth.
MAIN PICTURE There is more to wealth than making money
RIGHT Choose spiritual wealth and it will happen for you
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WEALTH & RICHES DR ROHAN WEERASINGHE
TURNING
POINTS
THROUGH a
RECESSION
I
smiled to myself recently when the government announced that having re-assessed the economic figures that actually we didn’t really go through a double dip in 2012. I found myself thinking, “Try telling that to that thousands of people who lost their jobs and homes last year and the countless businesses that had to downsize or that went under.” For the past couple of years I have been around the world talking to businessmen and women and aspiring entrepreneurs. During this time I have shared the same stage as Tony Robbins, Donald Trump and Richard Branson. What is inspiring is that each of them, like myself, share the same view that your future, wealth and financial security is very much in your own hands
The reality is that we are still in tough times and that means a whole new mindset and plan of action is needed to create your business and career turning points. Dr Rohan Weerasinghe gives us some good advice. MAIN PICTURE The economic recession means that life is harder for small business owners
and that there has never been a better time to build your business than now. Through a series of articles, I would like to explore some ideas that I have found to help on a personal and professional level. So let’s start the journey.
CURIOUS OR SERIOUS? BELOW Be sure that you are passionate enough to see it through
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I ask this same question of all the people I mentor. Whether you are in retail, an internetbased business, service industry or property it is essential that you establish just how committed to your idea or business you are. It is often quoted that over 85 per cent of businesses fail in their first two years, and to ensure that you are not part of these statistics it is vital you first commit to the vision and the building of your business. The important thing here is that there is no judgment to be made here – you have to objectively ask certain questions and if the response leaves you questioning your
conviction then you are most likely curious rather than serious. Better you know now than spend a lot of time and money to start something that doesn’t go anywhere. Here are some questions to consider – and I will request your permission to be honest and direct in the way I ask them: Are you looking to start or expand your business because you are passionate about the concept, the product and the idea? (Do not answer yes if you simply thought this would be a “good idea”) Are you prepared to give up time on other projects/social activities in order to commit to developing this over an 18 to 24 month period? Are you prepared to invest money into the growth of the business and your own growth and development and where necessary reduce spending in other areas to help make this happen?
THE BEST
YOU
If you can wholeheartedly answer yes to each of these then this is a strong starting indicator that you are serious. If not, then seek more guidance and reflect on whether this is a good time to pursue the business.
Life Without Limits
CHOOSE YOUR VEHICLE You have so many fantastic opportunities in front of you now. The types of business and ways to create short and long term wealth and security are countless. This also means it is easy to go in the wrong direction if you are not careful about what you choose. On my Turning Point events we help people get clarity on their overall purpose and from this they often then identify the type of business that would excite them most. To help you focus in, here is a short list of the many opportunities that you have. Once you identify one or two that you resonate with the next step is to investigate them to be clear what is involved in building such a business to successful level: Moving from employed to self-employed Internet based business Property Investing (buying and holding for long term income) Property Trading (buying and
selling for cash) Retail business (wholesale retail on the high street or internet) Franchise-type businesses with an established system and product Service/Product (online/ offline) linked to your core skills Trading (or investing) in FOREX, Commodities, stocks etc There are many considerations that need to be taken into account when choosing your business vehicle. The above just scratch the surface. Do not be swayed by just the financial benefits, the most important factor is your passion and belief in the business idea and your conviction to see it through as a business rather than a hobby. If you are that stage then the next step is to expand the idea and shape up a clear plan of action.
In the October issue of The Best You, we chat to British broadcaster, Tim Lovejoy and investigate how psychotherapy has changed over the years. We also take a look at some of those who suffer from insomnia. And if you're one of them, we have some helpful suggestions about what to do about it. All this and so much more. Looking forward to it!
For more information on the upcoming Turning Point 3 Day intensive seminar experience then visit: www. bookturningpoint.com
www.thebestyoumagazine.co
WEALTH & RICHES EMMA VITES
HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE
INTREPRENEUR Intrepreneurship is on the rise! It is the practice of using entrepreneurial skills without taking on the risks or accountability associated with entrepreneurial activities. Emma Vites explains.
E
ntrepreneurship has been defined as “the process of creating value by bringing together a unique combination of resources to exploit an opportunity.� Intrepreneurship can been defined similarly, although the behaviour occurs within established firms. If you want to be promoted, become a leader within an organisation, make as much money as possible and become indispensable, then you must learn to become a successful intrepreneur. The successful intrepreneur will put
themselves into the mind of the CEO of their organisation. They will see what they see and really feel the feelings of being a CEO. They will know that the overall objective of the company is to grow and become profitable and therefore they will gear all of their activities within their role to help facilitate that growth. The company you are working for now began as a start-up and intrepreneurship will help bring the companies mojo back. The successful intrepreneur will embark on networking activities outside of work
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MAIN PICTURE Put your mind to it and achieve the success you want
ABOVE RIGHT Networking is a big part of intrepreneurship
and will constantly be on the lookout for leads that will further business development. They will keep up to date with competitor analysis and spot new trends before anyone else. The successful intrepreneur will be goal and results orientated. He or she will take control of their tasks and go the extra mile in their role.
LEFT Project the success you want to acheive every day
BELOW Use your social skills to climb the corporate ladder
A great example of a successful intrepreneur is the person who performs other roles of value without them necessarily being in their job description. For example offering to mentor new people, offering to run workshops on information they have learnt which will be of value to the business, tailoring their LinkedIn profile and other social media tools to sell the company in the most effective way while remaining a positive, up-beat person who the company wants to have around. Other ways to be a successful intrepreneur and have the best chance of being noticed and promoted is to think outside the box with your job responsibilities. Don’t be afraid to take risks and ask questions about what else you can do to add maximum value. Start by writing a SWOT analysis of the company, do some competitor analysis and start thinking of ideas on how the company can grow. Another way of becoming a great intrepreneur is to become a mini expert in the industry. Tailor your social media to fit with the objectives
of the firm and conduct regular training and analysis of what is happening in your industry. You should subscribe to relevant magazines and sign up to Google alerts to ensure you become the best expert you can be. The successful intrepreneur will be able to multi task, have a high level of energy and be passionate about where the industry is heading and all the new developments. If you follow these tips and apply them to your company, then I guarantee you will get noticed and the rewards will follow. b
WATCH OUR VIDEOS NOW ON
For more information and advice on how to become a successful intrepreneur and to book a personal coaching session, then contact Emma Vites, founder of The Apprentice Project, by emailing info@apprenticeproject.com or calling 0203 086 8033
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WEALTH & RICHES
THE BEST YOU
ROSA PARKS
CHRIS GARDNER
FIRST LADY OF CIVIL RIGHTS
A PROSPEROUS PURSUIT
Memories of our lives, of our works and our deeds will continue in others.also free.
It's little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world."
Rosa Louise McCauley Parks was born in 1913 and spent her formative years on a farm in Pine Level, Alabama with her mother, brother and grandparents. In her autobiography Parks could recall the chilling signs of racism running rampant around her. There were times when her grandfather would stand guard, gripping a shotgun, as the Ku Klux Klan marched past their house. On December 1, 1955 in Montgomery, Alabama, Rosa Parks punched her ticket into the history books by refusing to relinquish her seat on a public bus to a white passenger. Selected by NAACP organizers because they believed she had the best shot at seeing through a court challenge subsequent to the incident, Parks said she felt “a determination cover my body like a quilt on a winter night” when the bus driver ordered her out of her seat to make room for the white passenger. She was removed from the bus and arrested, but her legend had already begun. In later years, Parks went on to serve as secretary for African American United States House Representative John Conyers. She passed away in 2005, but Rosa Parks’s bravery and fortitude throughout the Civil Rights Movement made her a modern hero and kickstarted a global conversation about racism and ethics, which is breaking down barriers to this day.
Born in 1954 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Gardner lived in a tumultuous home due to a volatile relationship between his mother and stepfather. Upon his discharge from the U.S. Navy, Chris Gardner moved to San Francisco, working in various medical research positions, with the hopes of someday becoming a doctor. With a child on the way and facing ten years’ worth of education, Gardner abandoned his medical pursuit and networked his way into the world of stockbrokerage after a chance encounter with a successful broker. Persevering through multiple training programs (with the goal of making two hundred sales call per day), Gardner’s son by his estranged partner was dropped on his doorstep. While Gardner earned his broker’s license, father and son were homeless for almost a year, unbeknownst to any of Gardner’s colleagues. Forming his own brokerage firm in 1987 in Chicago, Illinois, Gardner grew the company into a multi-million dollar company before selling his stake and forming Christopher Gardner International Holdings, with offices in New York, Chicago and San Francisco. He currently remains active in philanthropic pursuits and seeks out investment opportunities the world over. The Pursuit Of Happyness, the 2006 hit film starring Will Smith, is based on Chris Gardner’s life.
ROSA PARKS’S ACTIONS ON 1 DECEMBER 1955 WERE AN EXAMPLE FOR EVERYONE, THAT DOING SOMETHING SIMPLE, LIKE SITTING ON A BUS, CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. SHE IS STILL REMEMBERED TO THIS DAY WITH REVERENCE.” – BERNARDO MOYA
CHRIS GARDENER IS LIVING PROOF THAT YOU REALLY CAN OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLE THAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU. HE WAS IN A SITUATION THAT WOULD SEEM HOPELESS TO MANY, YET HE HELD ONTO HIS HOPE AND NOT ONLY SURVIVED, BUT THRIVED.” – BERNARDO MOYA
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THE BEST YOU
WEALTH & RICHES
JANE SOMERVILLE
BOUTROS BOUTROS-GHALI
HEALER OF THE HEART
THE WORLD IS HIS STAGE
“You had to be very naughty if you were with naughty boys at school.
I used to say I never talk about my successor, neither about my predecessor.”
A theatre critic and Vogue magazine employee turned out to be in vastly different professions from their daughter, however they did bequeath one important trait to her: passion. Jane Somerville was born to parents that sent her away to an all-boys school during World War II. Somerville has always identified her time at that school as the reason she was able to succeed and thrive in a male-dominated field like medicine. Accepted to medical school in a year when only eight per cent of the class was female, it was there that she first became acquainted with the affliction she would seek to forever change: congenital heart disease. Working under leading clinician Paul Wood, Somerville increased her knowledge in paediatric cardiology, recognising this as necessary information in the effort to understand adult congenital heart disease. She is known today as the mother of ‘Grown Up Congenital Heart Disease’ (GUCH). In 1980, Somerville held the first World Congress of Paediatric Cardiology in London and in the 1990s went on to become President of the GUCH Patients Association. Her family is also a source of intense pride, having had four children with her late husband Walter. Today, at the spry age of 80, Jane Somerville lectures all over the world and is an advocate for international GUCH services.
It is not often the case that a mill worker not only dreams of the stars, but goes there. Such is the story of Valentina Tereshkova. Born in 1937 in Maslennikovo, Central Russia, she was the daughter of a tractor driver and a textile plant worker When she was two, her father was killed in World War II. Tereshkova came to the attention of the the USSR government because of her:skydiving. After the flight of Yuri Gagarin in space in 1961, they wanted to put a woman in space. And they wanted a skydiver. In 1962 Tereshkova was selected from 400 applicants to join a team of 5 female cosmonauts. She was eventually chosen for the flight and on 16th June 1963, she flew into space, making 48 orbits of the Earth over three days, while performing experiments on herself. Often nauseous and disoriented, she nevertheless spoke with Khruschev during the flight, and became known for her call sign: "Chaika", or seagull. Not only the first woman in space, she was also the first civilian, since she was only inducted into the Soviet Airforce as a formality when she became a cosmonaut. Tereshkova returned to Earth a hero of the Soviet Republic and went on to become a prominent politician. Still alive at the age of 76 she announced in 2013 that she is keen to fly to Mars
WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY IN THE LAST CENTURY, WITH WOMEN’S RIGHTS BECOMING MORE COMMONPLACE. JANE SOMERVILLE WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL AT A TIME WHEN THERE WERE HARDLY ANY WOMEN THERE AND PAVED THE WAY FOR FUTURE FEMALE DOCTORS.” – BERNARDO MOYA
“A TRULY TIRELESS HUMANITARIAN, BOUTROS BOUTROS-GHALI HAS LED A DECADES-LONG PURSUIT OF THE BETTERMENT OF INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS AND HE CONTINUES TO BE AN ASSET TO HIS HOMELAND.” – BERNARDO MOYA
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TIPS GILLIAN JONES Recognise that you have these gremlins. We all do; those unhelpful voices in your head that start negative dialogues, that criticise you or make you reflect unproductively on events or just your life in general. Realising that you are normal is important; even the most senior and successful people in every business will tell you about the little voices that interfere with their confidence. Once you have objective recognition that they will always be there, (it is part of human nature to talk to ourselves), then you can start to control them.
Take away the mystique of the gremlin. If you can make them more real for you then it will be easier to deal with them. If you think about it, can you see what it looks like? Popular visualisations are Gollam, a devil character, their mother, or even a “mini-me”. If you can visualise it and make it a little more concrete you will begin to take control. What does the voice sound like? An irritating whine, a cartoon character mimicking you, a critical parent? Try changing the voice – does it feel quite as powerful if it starts to sound like Mini Mouse?
HOW TO DEAL WITH
MIND GREMLINS
Start to take some control of this inner voice and the dialogue it is having with you. If it is just going over and over how you crashed and burned in a presentation you made, or how dreadful you are at relationships ask it this question: “Do you have any useful lessons for me from the situation?” If it continues to just bring up negatives then tell it you will only listen if it gives you suggestions for next time. Then actively distract yourself to think about something different or concentrate on another subject until you can have a useful conversation with yourself about the issue!
We all have little voices in our heads telling us that we’re not good enough. These voices can not only effect your self-esteem, but potentially the quality of your work as well. Gillian Jones gives us some tips on dealing with them.
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Introduce a new voice into the equation to deal with the gremlin – a best friend, someone you love and trust, and allow them to battle out the conversation and bring up all your positive points. Take a third position and observe what is happening. How stupid does the Gremlin sound when faced with the voice of reason? And if all else fails and it won’t shut up, picture the voice in front of you on the table. Look at it hard and then allow yourself to do what comes naturally. I am betting you will want to bring your hand down and squash it!! Sounds mad but it works every time!
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21ST CENTURY LIVING
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TOTALLY LOONY Google is once again breaking boundaries in terms of internet technology
ON THE ROAD TO TOMORROW Zane Henry looks at some of the cars today and how they are like something out of science-fiction.
21ST CENTURY LIVING
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TOTALLY LOONY Google seems to be on the forefront of it all, from being the pioneering force behind search engines to wearable technology in the form of Google Glass, and now they are putting the internet into balloons. Yes, you read that right.
P
roject Loon may sounds like something from a science-fiction film starring Tom Cruise, but with this technology in its testing phases, it’s looking like a real possibility. Google is aiming to put internet access in the sky in balloon which will hover 12 miles above the earth’s surface. They have
already launched 30 of these balloons in New Zealand to test the technology, and it’s looking rather promising. While Wi-Fi, 3G and acceptable mobile phone signal may be ubiquitous in the cities, many people in rural areas are being left out of the internet revolution owing to poor connections. Many of us think of the internet as a global
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MAIN PICTURE Internet in balloons seems too futuristic to be true
community. But two-thirds of the world’s population does not yet have internet access. If you’ve ever lived out in the boondocks, then you’ll know that the lack of internet is no joke. Project Loon is a network of balloons traveling on the edge of space, designed to connect people in rural and remote areas, help fill coverage gaps, and bring people back online after disasters. This project, if successful, will revolutionise the way in which people who live in remote villages communicate. In 2008, Google had considered contracting with or acquiring Space Data Corp., a company that sends balloons carrying small base stations about 20 miles (32
THE BEST YOU
km) up in the air for providing connectivity to truckers and oil companies in the southern United States, but didn’t do so. Unofficial development on the project began in 2011 with a series of trial runs in California. The project was officially announced as a Google project on 14 June 2013. During the trial run in New Zealand, about 50 local users in and around Christchurch and the Canterbury Region tested connections to the aerial network using the special antennas. After this initial trial, Google plans on sending up 300 balloons around the world that would provide coverage to New Zealand, Australia, Chile, and Argentina. Google hopes to eventually have thousands of balloons flying in the stratosphere. The head of the project, Mike Cassidy, said in a blog post, “We believe that it might actually be possible to build a ring of balloons, flying around the globe on the stratospheric winds, that provides internet access to the earth below. “It’s very early days, but we’ve built a system that uses balloons, carried by the wind at altitudes twice as high as commercial planes, to beam internet access to the ground at speeds similar to today’s 3G networks or faster. As a result, we hope balloons could become an option for connecting rural, remote and underserved areas, and for helping with communications after natural disasters.”
BELOW People in rural areas will be able to access wifi on their smart phones
The balloons are 15 metres wide and 12 metres tall and filled with helium gas. The way people would connect to the balloon network is via a special internet antenna attached to their building. The signal bounces from balloon to balloon, then to the global internet back on Earth. Cassidy said: “There are many terrestrial challenges to internet connectivity – jungles, archipelagos, mountains. There are also major cost challenges. Right now, for example, in most of the countries in the southern hemisphere, the cost of an internet connection is more than a month’s income.” Despite this technology potentially providing internet access in developing countries, one of the pioneers of computer technology, Bill Gates, criticised the project. “When you’re dying of malaria, I suppose you’ll look up and see that balloon, and I’m not sure how it’ll help you. When a kid gets diarrhoea, no, there’s no website that relieves that,” Gates told Business Week. “Certainly I’m a huge believer in the digital revolution.
RECOMMENDED READING Inside Steve’s Brain By Leander Kahney Business
21ST CENTURY LIVING
lessons from Steve Jobs
ABOVE The internet floats above us, among the clouds
The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out now: www.thebestyou.co
Throwing Sheep in the Boardroom By Soumitra Dutta How
And connecting up primaryhealthcare centres, connecting up schools, those are good things. But no, those are not, for the really low-income countries, unless you directly say we’re going to do something about malaria.” b
social networking will transform your life
Just Get on with It! By Ali Campbell Expect
to achieve big results – fast
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21ST CENTURY LIVING
ZANE HENRY
ON THE ROAD TO TOMORROW
Science-fiction movies of yesteryear promised us that we would have flying cars by the year 2000. Thirteen years later and there’s still no sign of them, but automobile technology has made some crazy advancements. Zane Henry investigates.
F
or as long as human beings have been making things, we’ve been trying to find ways of making them cooler. When Henry Ford created the first Model T Ford in 1927, it is likely that he thought to himself, “Well, that’s nice. I wonder if I could attach some a giant fin to the back and some chrome rims...” Since then, auto-technology has accelerated to the point where the line between science fiction and motor engineering is starting to blur. While flying
cars may not be available for sale soon, there are plenty of innovations on the horizon to get you all revved up.
TALKING CARS These are the real smart cars. Manufacturers are researching cars that are able to communicate with each other and with objects around them. The idea is to prevent collisions by having your car receive a signal from another car when it approaches a dangerous proximity. It could even hit the brake
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automatically. The technology is called Vehicle-to-Vehicle (V2V) and works by sending wireless signals to send information back and forth between cars about their location, speed and direction. Vehicle-toinfrastructure communication (V2I) would be the next frontier following that. V2I would allow vehicles to communicate with road signs and traffic signals about safety issues and traffic information.
BAGS OF SAFETY The invention of airbags has done a lot to improve safety standards on the road. Developers are now looking into ways of taking airbag safety from a reactive safety
ZANE HENRY 21ST measure to a proactive one. Mercedes is working on airbags that deploy underneath the car when triggered by sensors detecting an imminent collision. The bags have a coating that helps slow the car down and doubles the stopping power of the vehicle. The bags also lift the vehicle slightly, increasing the chances of bumper-to-bumper contact during collision.
ALTERNATIVE ENERGY Car manufacturers are developing special polymer fiber and carbon resin body panels that would capture energy produced by technologies like regenerative braking or when the car is plugged in overnight and feed that energy back to the car when it’s needed. These lightweight panels would help reduce the size of heavy hybrid batteries. Solar technology is also an exciting prospect, with research being conducted into body panels that capture solar energy to help power the vehicle.
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CARS THAT DRIVE THEMSELVES It seems like something out of a scene from Knight Rider or a James Bond film. Google engineers have tested self-driving cars across more than 200,000 miles (321,869 kilometers) of public highways and roads. These cars can record images of the road and use their inbuilt maps to view road signs and find alternative routes. Through a combination of lasers, radar and cameras, the cars can process information far quicker than a human being can, effectively making driving much safer. General Motors is also researching self-driving technology, so being able to do a crossword while your car drives you to work may not be that far off.
HUD WINDSCREENS The video gamers, fighter pilots and cyborgs among us will know all about Heads Up Displays (HUDs). Some auto manufacturers already have windshield displays in some of their vehicles, but they are also working on developing augmented reality dashboards that will be able to identify objects in front of the car and display relevant information on the windshield, overlaid across what the driver is seeing in real life. If another vehicle is approaching too quickly, a
OPPOSITE Gaining confidence means doing something scary
red box could appear on the oncoming car with and arrows indicating how to maneuver into the next lane and avid collision. Toyota has developed prototypes of a system that would allow passengers to zoom in oWn and identify outside objects via a touchscreen window. Information from: howstuffworks.com
TODAY’S NEWS Safety first – they may be standard now, but not so long ago, seatbelts in cars were an anomaly. They were invented in the early 19th century by British engineer George Cayley, but were only made as an automobile standard in 1958 by Swedish carmakers, Saab Engineering meets robotics – The Anti-lock Braking System (ABS) allows the wheels on a car to maintain tractive contact with the road surface while so the wheels don’t lock. It was first developed for aircraft use in 1929 Gabriel Voisin, a French automobile and aircraft pioneer. Although ABS is still not standard, it is very common in cars beyond a certain tier. Lost and found – The Global Positioning System (GPS) is a space-based satellite navigation system that provides location and time information. Originally developed in 1973 and in use by the military, GPS only became available to the general public some years after that.
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WE SUPPORT
JUCONI
T
he JUCONI Foundation’s vision to create a highly professional programme for street children in the city of Puebla, Mexico. JUCONI quickly evolved to respond to the distinct needs of each child it supported. It was one of the first organisations in Mexico to expand its work to include the families of street children. This advancement led to systemic work with other key actors in the life of each and every child including teachers, employers, neighbours and the wider community. In 1995, following the success of JUCONI in Mexico, Joanna and Gabriel wanted to reach children and families outside of Puebla in Mexico and established JUCONI in Guayaquil, Ecuador. In 2001, JUCONI launched the Technical Support Centre (TSC) to share its expertise with other organisations and programmes catering to excluded children affected by violence. Today, JUCONI Mexico and JUCONI Ecuador each directly support 350 children and
The JUCONI Foundation started in 1989 thanks to the efforts of Sarah Thomas MBE, Joanna Wright de Serra and Gabriel Benitez. Together, they teamed up to transform their vision into a reality.
their families per year. As an organisation, JUCONI employs over 140 staff across Mexico and Ecuador and is supported by up to 20 volunteers at any one time. For many children living and working on the streets of Mexico and Ecuador, JUCONI is their last chance. JUCONI works with highly excluded children who drop out of or are missed by existing state and voluntary service provisions. Every time such children are failed by another organisation, they become more detached and less trusting that their lives can be improved. For the majority of children supported by JUCONI, integration into a safe family environment is the result of the intensive and personalised work carried out by highly trained educators over a period of time. However, for some children, the creation of a safe environment in their familial home is not possible and, in those cases, children are housed and nurtured in JUCONI House. The above case studies
For many children living and working on the streets of Mexico and Ecuador, JUCONI is their last chance.
provide examples of typical JUCONI situations. These reveal the positive impact of the JUCONI Programme on the lives of children, getting them to leave the streets and become permanently re-integrated into society. Each year, JUCONI carries out a long-term evaluation of those who graduated from the Programmes 5 and 10 years earlier. b
OTHER WORTHY CAUSES WE SUPPORT Katie Piper Foundation
10 million metres
War Child
www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk
www.alexflynn.co.uk
www.warchild.org.uk
Teenage Cancer Trust
Sebastian's Action Trust
Children Of The Night
www.teenagecancertrust.org
www.sebastiansactiontrust.org
www.childrenofthenight.org
SMA Trust
Bosom Buddies UK
The Children’s Trust
www.smatrust.org
www.bosombuddiesuk.com
www.thechildrenstrust.org.uk
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