www.thebestyoumagazine.co
THE BEST YOU
TRANSFORM • INSPIRE • MOTIVATE • ENRICH • EMPOWER • JULY 2015 / Price £3.99
FLORENCE
WELCH
ON HEARTBREAK, GROWING UP AND MAKING MUSIC
KELLE BRYAN
LIFE WITH LUPUS, AND GOING BACK TO HER ACTING ROOTS
CHRIS MOORMAN
INSIDE THE MIND OF A WORLD CHAMPION POKER PLAYER
LAUGH FOR DON’T BE SHY LONGER WHY LAUGHTER REALLY IS GOOD FOR YOU
HELP YOUR CHILD TACKLE SHYNESS
PLUS: HOW TO LEARN TO LOVE YOUR JOB AGAIN
£29.99
EDITORIAL
THE CHALLENGES
OF LIFE Day to day, life, the universe or god throws challenges at us that sometimes can feel slightly overwhelming. How we overcome them is by being resourceful. Being resourceful is having the ability to find ways to solve difficult situations quickly. Being resourceful will not prevent us from going through crisis, but it will help us get over difficulties faster. The most successful people in the world are those who face them bravely and devise ways to deal with them fast and move on. How do we do this? Firstly, analyse the problem before responding, then act and implement your decisions. Stay positive, remember all the good reasons of why you do what you do. And something that always helps me is to remember the things you are thankful for, make a list and put things in perspective. And if that doesn’t help watch the news because when you look at people suffering without a home, in areas of conflict or war and natural disasters. And that’s where we come in, we are here to help you, to find inspirational tips and ideas. This month we have fabulous writers and interviews with amazing individuals who have achieved success, overcome adversity and gained insight into all areas of life. Hazel Gale explains how reframing can help us conquer fear, world poker champion Chris Moorman shares some of the secrets of his success, Sian Prior tackles childhood shyness, and Jo Simpson and Kerry Hannon inspire us to reinvigorate our careers. Plus we are hugely excited to announce the first dates for The Best You Inspiring Talks, to be held in London this autumn, and dates for the inaugural The Best You Exhibition. Enjoy the issue.
BERNARDO MOYA,
Editor-in-chief Follow me: @Bernardo_Moya
To enjoy additional digital content, video and online galleries, download The Best You app at
thebestyoumagazine.co
Exclusive bonus shots on iPad, iPhone and Android devices
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
03
THE BEST YOU MAGAZINE/ C O N TE N TS /JULY 2015
REGULARS 03
EDITOR’S LETTER
Bernardo Moya welcomes you to this month’s issue of The Best You
07
COULD YOU BE ONE OF THE BEST YOU’S STARS?
How to become a contributor to The Best You
18
WE SUPPORT...
Centrepoint, the charity helping young homeless people in the capital and around the UK
32
BOOK REVIEWS
A few of our favourite recently published books – plus your chance to win some great reads
72
THE BEST YOU DIRECTORY
Where to find the best coaches, trainers and practitioners
FEATURES 22
FLORENCE WELCH
Back after a break and creating new music
26
16 TOP 6 BEACHES
Wish you were here...
KELLE BRYAN
The former Eternal star is looking to the future
30
CHRIS MOORMAN
Inside the mind of a world class poker player
INNER YOU 10
THINK AGAIN
Hazel Gale explains how the key to dismantling our fears lies in the way we think about them
12
SUMMER BLUES
It may be the sunny season, but what if your mood is less than bright? Rachel Kelly tackles summertime depression
ENJOY LIFE 16
19
THE GOOD NEWS
With so much of what we read in the papers being negative, The Best You brings you some good news
20
TOP 6 BEACHES
Where to head to enjoy the season by the sea
ONLY WHEN I LAUGH
Sophie Scott explains why laughter is more than a simple display of amusement
EDITOR/PUBLISHER Bernardo Moya · DEPUTY EDITOR Daska Davis ASSOCIATE EDITORS Cynthia Phillips and Gail Kingsbury ADVERTISING advertising@thebestyou.co
04
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
22 FLORENCE WELCH In conversation with the Florence and the Machine star
THE BEST YOU MAGAZINE/ CO NTENTS /JULY 2015
LIVE LOVE LEGACY 40
42
45
46
THEIR INSPIRATIONAL STORIES
How Centrepoint is helping young people who have nowhere to turn except for the streets
DON’T BE SHY
Presenter and author Sian Prior has faced a lifetime of shyness – here’s her advice for helping shy children
START WITH HEART
Jim Aitkins says authenticity starts from within
WHAT DOES IT TAKE…
…to be a toastmaster? We ask master of ceremonies, John Driscoll
FEEL & LOOK GOOD
50 BETH GREER Healthy living starts in the kitchen
50
52
55
5 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR KITCHEN HEALTHIER
Super natural mom, Beth Greer, has all the advice you need to make your kitchen a safer place to be
THE ULTIMATE SELFIE
Meet Skye Holland, an artist who paints portraits with a difference
BE INSPIRED
Join us this autumn for an exciting series of Inspiring Talks
WEALTH & RICHES 58
61
SKYE HOLLAND Empowering women with her unique portraits
MEDIA DIRECTOR Allan Banford DIGITAL DESIGNER Monica Notarnicola TECHNICAL CONSULTANT Martin Carter
I LOVE MY JOB
Kerry Hannon takes her cue from her canine pal
62
JOIN US AT THE BEST YOU EXHIBITION
The Best You brings together the world’s leading personal development speakers and brands in 2016
64
THE ROCKY ROAD TO SUCCESS
52
SAND BETWEEN YOUR TOES
If you’re feeling restless in the workplace, it could be that you need to rethink your values, says Jo Simpson
The Best You looks at people, past and present, who worked hard for their moment in the spotlight
21ST CENTURY LIVING 68
70
HOW DO YOU DO?
Technology and customer care have not always been the best bedfellows, but things are improving says Joanne Smith
EASY LIVING
Bryan Szabo reviews the latest gadgets
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
05
CONTRIBUTORS
DASKA DAVIS
is deputy editor at The Best You. This issue she interviews Kelle Bryan, Sophie Scott, Skye Holland and Jo Simpson. “Summer time living is meant to be easy – we have ideas and insights to boost your life, plus advice if things aren’t as positive as you’d like.”
@TheBestYou
HAZEL GALE
has an HPD in cognitive hypnotherapy and a diploma in clinical hypnosis from the Institute Of Clinical Hypnotherapy where she also teaches. She is also a certified neuro-linguistic programming practitioner as well as holding a qualification in sports hypnosis and sport psychology.
@HGHypnotherapy
BRYAN SZABO
is a Canadian-born freelance editor and writer who specialises in helping authors realise their full potential as writers. He believes that everybody has a story that should be told. His appearance on the acknowledgement page of dozens of titles proves that the voice he is helping budding authors to find is a precious thing indeed.
@eidolonink
KELLE BRYAN
found fame in all-girl band Eternal in the 90s but previously studied as an actress at the Italia Conti Academy. Today she is a wife and mother, and continues to act and work as a presenter. A lupus sufferer, she is patron of the St Thomas Lupus Trust.
@kellebryan
JIM AITKINS
is an American author. He speaks and trains for corporations and organisations on the topics that he also writes about. He believes that personal growth is not only easier than most people think, but can be fun as well. Visit Jim’s blog at
obstacleblaster. com
DR STEPHEN SIMPSON
is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine, and elite performance and confidence expert. He regularly appears on TV and radio, and his clients include leading names from the diverse worlds of sport, business and entertainment. He is a best-selling author and presenter.
@dr_sr_simpson
RACHEL KELLY is a former Times columnist and Sane ambassador. Having suffered two breakdowns and battled depression, her strategies for tackling the ‘black dog’ come from the heart. Her memoir, Black Rainbow: How Words Healed Me – My Journey Through Depression is published by Hodder & Stoughton.
SOPHIE SCOTT
is Wellcome Trust senior fellow at University College London (UCL), researching the neuroscience of voices, speech and laughter. She is also deputy director of UCL’s Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience. She talks with The Best You about her research into laughter and her recent TED talk.
@rache_Kelly
@sophiescott
SIAN PRIOR
KERRY HANNON
is a writer and broadcaster working in radio, television, print and online, specialising in reporting on the arts and popular culture. She has been a newspaper columnist, a travel and opinion writer, and a theatre, opera and book critic. For The Best You, she writes about tackling childhood shyness.
is an expert on career transition and retirement. She is an author and regular contributor to The New York Times and a contributing writer for Money Magazine. Her work has also appeared in BusinessWeek, The Wall Street Journal, and Reader’s Digest.
@KerryHannon
@sianprior
The Best You is published by The Best You Corporation Ltd, 5 Percy Street, W1T 1DG. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect The Best You Corporation Ltd, policy. The Best You Corporation Ltd accepts no responsibility for views expressed by its contributors. Advertisements and reader offers are not endorsed by The Best You or The Best You Corporation Ltd.
06
www.the be sty o u m ag az i n e . co
COULD YOU BE ONE OF
THE BEST YOU’S
STARS?
Would you like to be part of the UK’s leading personal development magazine? Here’s your chance to share your story of success
At The Best You, we are passionate about helping people to reach their goals and achieve their full potential. Each month, we bring you inspiring interviews and articles from individuals who are living life to the full and realising their dreams through personal development and following their path to success.
Are you a writer, blogger or vlogstar? Now it’s your chance to share your story with The Best You. We are looking to publish articles within the magazine and at our digital channel, thebestyoumagazine.co, plus your videos on The Best You TV channels. Additionally, each month we will be focusing on an area of personal development, and we would like to share your tips for success with The Best You’s audience. Tell us your: • • • • • •
Coaching tips Mindfulness ideas Weight-loss solutions How you tackle phobias Ways to boost your self-esteem Finding a partner and making your relationship sparkle
In addition to having your article published and the opportunity to share your story with those who are actively seeking personal development advice, we will pay for every published article and video. So, get your thinking cap on and tell us about how you’ve become the Best You.
To find out more and how to upload your content, visit
thebestyoumagazine.co/ become-a-contributor
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
07
INNER YOU Connect with the wonderful, special and powerful inside. Learn ways to get your mind and body in balance, bringing out the rich core of your being. Discover the secrets that will enable you to take charge of your inner life and become The Best You.
RETHINK YOUR FEARS
How to reframe the way you think and tackle your phobias
CLEAR SKIES AHEAD
Rachel Kelly helps beat the summertime blues
Put your company in this space! To sponsor this page and be part of The Best You, email us at advertising@thebestyou.co
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
09
RETHINK
YOUR FEARS have is categorised and unconsciously tagged with a specific combination of sense properties like those you just came up with. Your mind does this so that you’ll remember how you should feel about that thing in the future. The example above looked at visual representations, but all your sense experiences can be broken down into sub-categories in a similar way. It’s like a personalised symbolic language that you speak fluently and instantaneously. In neurolinguistic programming, we call these properties submodalities (or SMds). The modalities are the senses: visual (seeing), auditory (hearing), kinaesthetic (feeling), olfactory (smelling) and gustatory (tasting). The word submodalities refers to the ways in which you can divide and categorise information from each of the sense modalities. In essence, SMds are the properties of your thoughts; the particular way in which you see the image, hear the sound, or feel the feeling.
Hazel Gale explains how all of our senses affect our perceptions and behaviours Think of something you really, really like. Something simple like cupcakes, kittens or organising a shelf of books so the spines form a perfect spectrum of rainbow colour (just me?). Take a moment to consider your particular mental image of that thing (actually do this. I’ll wait). Is that picture in colour or black and white? Where exactly on your internal screen of representation is it (left, right, top, bottom, dead centre…)? Is it big or small? Is it near or far? Moving or still? Light or dark? Now think of something you really, really dislike. I’m talking cockroaches, spiders or clumps of slimy hair in the plughole… Take a look at the image you have of that thing and ask yourself the same questions. The two images will appear differently to you in some way. The subtle and automatic difference between those visual representations is largely responsible for the different ways in which you’d be likely to act when confronted with those things. This mental coding system is ever-present and immensely powerful yet most of us have no idea it’s even going on until we’re asked to analyse our thoughts. Everything you experience and every thought you
10
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
The reason this information is so useful to elicit (either as a therapist or for yourself) is that you can manipulate SMds to help the mind feel differently about things. If, for example, I could start seeing my inner representation of cockroaches in my fluffy kitten SMd recipe, then I might be able to write this article without a little grimace appearing on my face every time I write the word cockroaches. This doesn’t just apply to our internal imagery; it’s also being used unconsciously to filter and determine our experience of the external world. Submodality encoding is something that happens before information acquired through the senses reaches your conscious awareness. This means that by the time you know you’re looking at a kitten, your unconscious has already decided to package the incoming information in your kitten SMd recipe. This, in turn, means that you don’t need to decide how you feel about a kitten each time you see one. You instantly know what your preprogrammed feeling and response is, so unless something happens to interrupt your normal pattern of behaviour, you just go ahead and do it. The SMd system saves us a great deal of time and energy in assessing and then relating appropriately to the world around us. In solving someone’s emotional or behavioural problem, SMds can be invaluable information. Our problems are patterns. They happen in a set order which repeats in exactly the same way each time we go through them. It goes like this: first there’s a trigger (this is usually environmental, so something we see/hear/feel/
INNER YOU
smell/taste); then there’s a matching process where our mind decides what type of thing it is experiencing based on our past experience (’this is the same as that other thing that happened’); this produces an emotion (a ’gut instinct’) about the thing based on the match; finally, all this determines the behaviour we end up producing. Let’s use an issue with authority figures as an example. Picture someone who finds himself anxious and unable to speak intelligently every time his boss asks him a direct question. It’s only afterwards, once he’s reached a safe distance from his boss, that he returns to his senses and kicks himself for acting like an inarticulate idiot (again). This all happens because his unconscious is packaging the boss in a SMd combination that says ‘fear this’ or ‘danger!’. It’s likely to be doing so because it’s matching the current environmental content (the boss) to a nasty memory from childhood; something like a particularly mean teacher at school. Although his boss is not exactly the same as that teacher, the unconscious mind is helpfully lumping them into the same category of things to steer clear of, just to be on the safe side. There are literally hundreds of different ways that one can utilise or manipulate their submodality recipes in order to create positive change. They form the basis of all thought, so the possibilities extend much further than simple likes and dislikes. The SMds of bodily sensations can be adjusted to reduce the experience of unnecessary pain in people with chronic illness (or just with a stress headache); belief systems can be influenced; values shifted, so that a different level of importance is unconsciously placed on things (this means you can find yourself naturally doing things you previously avoided, or not doing the things you wished you didn’t). Submodality manipulation is commonly used to let go of negative emotions (such as anxiety or anger) in the moment. It’s a fantastic tool for performers and athletes. I think that understanding this coding system should be taught in primary schools. It’s so simple and so powerful, yet most of us are completely unaware that we can influence the way we feel about things as easily as we can. In order to change your SMd recipes, you first need to identify and analyse the problem pattern you want to change, discern the modality it presents itself within, and then elicit the submodalities of those thoughts in order to alter them. This comes up time and time again in sessions with sports people. In many
cases, just before an athlete makes an unforced error, such as sending a golf ball into the trees, playing a double fault in tennis or missing a penalty in football, they might hear a voice in their mind saying something like: ‘you’re going to mess this up’, or perhaps: ‘this is really important so don’t mess it up!’ (which, of course, usually brings about the same disastrous outcome). I should be clear that we won’t all hear a voice before we screw things up, for some it’s just a feeling, for others it could be a mental image. Sometimes it’s a combination of all these things. If, however, an inner voice is a factor, then the SMd recipe will be partly to blame for the resultant behaviour. Since problem patterns fire in a their own set order, interrupting that order – like introducing a circuit breaker – can stop the remainder of the pattern from firing. This means a different outcome becomes possible. An intentional SMd change is one of the options available to create this diversion. The most obvious element to alter in the case of the golfer would be that voice (you could also look at the SMds of the sinking feeling, but as the voice comes first, by targeting that you’re killing two birds with one stone). Step one is to elicit the voice’s SMd recipe by answering these questions. Auditory SMd variables include: • Location: where does the sound come from (left, right, above, behind, below, in front)? •D o you hear it as coming from inside or outside your head? • Volume: loud or quiet? • Texture: soft or harsh? • Pitch: high or low? •T imbre: does it have any distinctive quality (such as squeaky like Mickey Mouse)? • Duration: short or long? • Tempo: fast or slow? • Distance: near or far? Once she has the combination of variables, she can try changing them, one at a time, to see which differences affect the feeling triggered by the voice. Typically, one or two of the submodalities will make a substantial difference, whereas the majority may make little to no difference at all. Those that change things dramatically are called ‘drivers’. Location is a common driver. Let’s say our golfer notices a big shift when she chooses to move the source of the voice from the left to the right-hand side of her head. Typically, when you change a submodality driver of your negative self-talk, the first thing
you’ll notice is that the voice seems to lose its power. It might seem inconsequential, or perhaps even silly in its new position. You may find that other SMds change automatically when a driver is altered. For example, once on the right, our golfer might notice the voice also sounding more distant, or quieter. At the end of the day, all that really matters is that it feels different (specifically, that it feels better). Armed with this information, the athlete can counter the old negative voice by taking a moment to move it to the right-hand side should she hear it. Had the driver been a variation in pitch, she could choose to hear it in a higher or lower tone to change the outcome; had it been tempo, she could speed it up or slow it down accordingly. There really are no rules, you can just keep trying different things until you notice a difference. Then you have your process. What the SMd change does is temporarily suspend the self-doubt that was at the root of the problem. It opens up a window of freedom from old limitations which can be used to focus on something more beneficial like a visualisation of the ball going where it should (which, by the way, she could choose to see with an SMd recipe associated with success or ease, to really up her chances of doing well). You can use this language to let go of a problematic feeling, a disturbing visual or a distracting sound. Sometimes making the change becomes a tool that you continually use, at others it’s something that only needs to be done a few times before your unconscious chooses to make the change more permanent and automatic. Part of the potency of a process like this is that it gives you back a sense of control, even mastery of your feelings. We tend to feel as though we’re at the mercy of our emotions, so introducing a regular practice which proves the opposite can be enormously empowering.
Hazel Gale is a cognitive hypnotherapist, mental coach and world champion athlete. Connect with her at hazelgale.co.uk w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
11
SUMMER
BLUES Summertime, and the living’s easy. Except what if it’s not? Rachel Kelly shares her techniques for staying on top if you experience a sinking feeling
12
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
INNER YOU
The sky was a flawless cerulean blue; the sun shone in the kind of steady way that only usually happens in the Mediterranean; and our picnic was perfect: the strawberries were unbruised, the salad still crisp, and the little gooey custard tarts scrumptious. Yet as I sat surrounded by my family and other picnickers in the park one day earlier this month, I felt a thunderclap of fear. It passed, only to be replaced by a growing sense of unease and a draining of hope and optimism. My brain felt oddly mangled, as if I was about to lose my footing. But I didn’t panic. These symptoms are familiar to me as someone who has had a long history of anxiety and depression. Here we go again, I thought: this is a highly predictable case of the summer blues. I’ve wondered since then what it is about July that I find difficult. After all, this is when the living is supposed to be easy! But actually, for many, the holiday months can be anything but. Partly I think my anxiety is triggered by the pressure to be perfect. We are bombarded by images of smiling families with pearly white teeth and beach-ready bodies, frolicking in the surf. Whose own messy family and chaotic holiday can match up? Certainly not mine. Therapy has taught me that I have a tendency to imagine everyone else finds life easy: that all those other families are truly content, while our family’s happiness is just an illusion. Yet as my therapist explained, it is just that I am comparing what she calls their ‘outsides’ with my ‘insides’. Never more so than on holiday do the ‘outsides’ of other people’s lives look especially shiny. But they too wrestle with worries and insecurities, as I do. They too feel the pressure to be happy, as I do. They too are juggling their squabbling children who are fighting over the only pair of goggles. Now, when the summer blues strike, I follow these guidelines for staying steady and keeping my Black Dog (as Churchill famously called his depression) on a firm leash.
1. When I felt panicky on my picnic rug, I turned to my breathing exercises. By concentrating on my breath, I was able to still my anxiety – an emotion that makes breathing shallow and fast. I placed one finger over my nostril: halving the rate at which I was inhaling and exhaling and forcing my body to slow down, thereby calming my racing mind. Treat breath as your anchor. Your mind will wander, that’s what minds do. But gently keep bringing your attention back to your breath. 2. I then took solace in two or three healing sayings, and repeated each in the style of a mantra. My favourites have always been: ‘This too shall pass’, ‘My strength is made perfect in weakness’ and ‘Westward, look, the land is bright’. Healing words can help a hurting mind. Find phrases such as these that lift your spirits and repeat them to yourself when you feel all hope is spent. You will get better. 3. I’m finding certain mindfulness techniques very helpful at the moment: for instance, focusing my attention on what I’m experiencing in the present moment, without judgment. So instead of fighting my feelings of unrest as I sat in the park, I accepted them, trusting that they would pass. 4. Although it felt counter-intuitive to focus on anyone else at that moment, I very deliberately gave my attention to the children, helping them fill their plates and enjoy the picnic. Acts of generosity and kindness, however small, are linked to higher levels of mental wellbeing as research has consistently shown. For me these techniques work best when combined and used together. By breathing, saying my mantras, accepting my feelings, and focusing on others, the worst of my symptoms pass. Life can be a picnic but not to worry if, on occasion, you can’t wait to pack up and go home.
Rachel Kelly’s memoir, Black Rainbow: how words healed me – my journey through depression, is published by Hodder & Stoughton and is available for purchase on Amazon. The Black Rainbow app is available for download on the Apple App store and Google App store for free. All author proceeds to SANE and United Response. Follow Rachel @rache_Kelly or visit www.thewordsdoctor.com
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
13
ENJOY LIFE Laughter, humour, travel, love – these are the things that add the sparkle that makes life worth living. Climb a mountain, give to others, start a family, embrace life. What are the things you wish you had done but haven’t yet? Life is no rehearsal – enjoy life every day.
TOP 6 BEACHES
The fittest places to flop
IT’S THE GOOD NEWS
The Best You brings you positive stories
LAUGH OUT LOUD
Why laughter really is good for us
Put your company in this space! To sponsor this page and be part of The Best You, email us at advertising@thebestyou.co
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
15
TOP 6 BEACHES
This month, we’re looking forward to lazing on a beach and enjoying the simpler pleasures of life. Here’s our guide to the best coastal getaways
1. KO PHANGAN, THAILAND Sunrise Beach is notorious for its no-holds-barred full moon parties, but whatever day of the month, this paradise-like beach has enough going for it to draw travellers from around the world.
2. WHITEHAVEN BEACH, AUSTRALIA With its startling white sand, Whitsunday Island’s Whitehaven Beach is simply breathtaking. With a campsite at the southern end of the beach, it’s easy to linger awhile and let the world pass you by.
3. HEMMICK BEACH, CORNWALL Closer to home, Hemmick Beach lies west of Dodman Point, off the southern tip of Cornwall’s headland. It’s a ten-minute walk by foot from the car park, and there are no facilities, but if remote is your idea of coastal heaven, this is for you.
ENJOY LIFE
4. MYRTOS BEACH, KEFALONIA Despite its economic woes, there is something magical about the Greek islands, and with turquoise blue water and white pebbles, Myrtos Beach offers an idyll to bathe and relax as the ancients did.
5. IPANEMA BEACH, RIO DE JANEIRO Frank Sinatra crooned about the Girl from Ipanema, and even today the beach is renowned as the destination of the beautiful people of Rio. With a rich array of bars and restaurants nearby, day merges into a thriving nightscene.
6. BOULDERS BEACH, CAPE TOWN A beach with a difference, Boulders is home to a colony of endangered African penguins. Get close up with nature and share the waves with these black and white flappers.
WE SUPPORT
CENTREPOINT This month, Centrepoint will host its Turnaround Summer Gala, headlined by Nile Rodgers and Chic, to raise awareness of the work of the homeless charity
Centrepoint helps more than 1,000 16-25-year olds each year, and since it was established in 1969 it has supported more than 75,000 young people. It supports an additional 2,000 young people through its partnerships with more than 30 youth homelessness organisations across the UK. Its work encompasses housing, health, learning and helps young people to get their lives back on track. The charity also campaigns to influence national and local government policy affecting homeless young people across the UK. The Duke of Cambridge has been the charity’s patron since 2005, and Centrepoint’s ambassadors include Sara Cox, Ben Fogle, Kirsty Young and Jonathan Ross. This month, disco superstar Nile Rodgers and Chic will take to the stage for a special performance at Centrepoint’s first ever Turnaround Summer Gala on 8 July. The guitar legend will be joined on the night by dance outfit Dirty Vegas, as well as a disco led by ambassador Sara Cox. The night will also honour some of Centrepoint’s amazing young people by presenting the first Turnaround Award.
To purchase tickets for the Turnaround Summer Gala, call Centrepoint on 020 7423 6818. Find out more at centrepoint.org.uk
18
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
ENJOY LIFE
THE
GOOD NEWS WASH AND GO For those who live life on the road or in the air, the perpetual hunt for a clean shirt is over, thanks to Dufl (dufl.com), a digital valet service launched in the US. Registered users receive a branded suitcase which they fill with their travel clothes – this is collected, photographed and inventoried to create a virtual wardrobe. Each time a trip is planned, users inform Dufl of their destination and arrival, and it delivers the case. At the end of the trip, Dufl collects, washes and stores the garments until the next trip, with a free ‘swap out’ at any time if an item needs updating.
READ AND GROW An Argentinian children’s book publisher, Pequeno Editor, has launched a series of titles to encourage young readers to become responsible consumers. The books are made from recycled acid-free paper, biodegradable inks and embedded with seeds which, once the book is read, can be planted to grow into a tree.
LOST AND FOUND Pedigree Found is a New Zealand app that replaces ‘Lost Dog’ posters with a digital solution. Pet owners can register their dog, and if it goes missing they can post an ad to anyone online in the area to see if their pooch has been spotted.
TIME TO EAT A UK government project has led to the development of a clever new device, Ode (myode.org), which releases delicious food smells to encourage dementia patients to cook and eat regularly. Forgetting to eat often leads to weight loss among dementia sufferers, and the device has successfully helped patients in trials to regain up to 2kg in less than three months of use.
ENJOY LIFE
ONLY WHEN I
LAUGH It’s something we all do, it’s contagious and we use it to express ourselves more deeply than we think – Sophie Scott is the neuroscientist helping us to understand the language of laughter
20
www.the be sty o u m ag az i n e . co
Polite laughter, nervous laughter, knowing laughter, hysterical laughter – without even starting to contemplate the infinite sounds and physical characteristics of laughing, have you ever considered the numerous ways that we laugh in different social situations? As deputy director of University College London’s (UCL) Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience, Sophie Scott has spent more than 20 years studying the neurological basis of communication, and more recently pioneered research into the science of laughter. An occasional stand-up comic with UCL’s Bright Club, she’s pretty adept at generating a chuckle or two herself. “About 20 years ago, I was working with patients who had a deficit in recognising emotions,” says Scott who delivered a TED talk on laughter earlier this year. “We focused on fear, anger, disgust, suffering, sadness and happiness, but our work mainly centred on negative emotions. “It struck me that laughter is the only positive sound that is recognised cross-culturally, and that there is a whole social side to laughter. People think we laugh to show amusement, but actually it is a social behaviour, and I suggested we could look at how laughter is a social emotion. “For example, when we laugh with friends and family, we are more inclined to exhibit helpless or uncontrollable laughter, and this is a sign that you like and are comfortable with these people. At its heart, laughter speaks to how much affection and affiliation you have with someone.
“I have noticed people who laugh inappropriately, and inwardly pulled away, yet it’s my lack of response that’s at fault, because the person is only trying to connect and show me that they like me. It’s shorthand for telling you how someone feels about you. Similarly, nervous laughter is often a way of someone trying to normalise a situation. We are very nuanced in our response to laughter.” While the physical act of laughing, when our intercostal muscles contract in a regular zig-zag movement, quite literally squeezing the air out of us, is similar for each of us, it is the sound of laughter that has a wide spectrum of social meanings. “With our voices, we choose how we want to present ourselves, in the same way as when we walk and breathe,” explains Scott. “Mostly we want to present ourselves as fitting in and so we make our behaviour seem appropriate. But with laughter it’s possible that we’re not moderating at all, and we’re now examining if that’s cross-cultural.”
you understand them, that you agree with them, that you’re part of the same group as them,” says Scott. “It’s an enormously behaviourally contagious effect. You can catch laughter from somebody else, and you are more likely to catch laughter from somebody else if you know them.“ Since her TED talk, Scott has been inspired to take her study into laughter further and examine how laughter can help to ‘de-escalate’ negative emotional experiences. “It’s time to take laughter more seriously,” she says. “It’s worth investigating the effects of laughter on mental health and if we could come up with the technology to track how people laugh and when, it could help us to understand what’s going on in their mind without even hearing them talk about it in therapy.” Providing a vital link between language, relationships and emotions, laughter really could be a much-needed medicine for modern living.
Scott says that while Nietzsche thought that humans are the only animals to laugh, it is in fact common to all mammals, including rats, particularly during play such as tickling. She cites the work of Robert Provine whose studies show that we are 30 times more likely to laugh if we are with somebody else than if we’re on our own, Additionally, most laughter occurs in social interactions like conversation, rather than when we’re watching comedy or listening to jokes. “You are laughing to show people that
Watch Sophie Scott’s TED talk, Why we laugh at thebestyoumagazine.co
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
21
THE BEAUTIFUL
BLUES
Florence and the Machine singer, Florence Welch, may be riding high with a summer of performances, but heartache has influenced her new album, How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful
22
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
H
COVER STORY
eartbreak is not such a bad thing for a songwriter – just ask Florence Welch. The Florence and the Machine singer admits that turmoil in her personal life helps when it comes to creating music. “I find it really difficult to say things of importance to the people that I should be saying them to. So I end up writing it in songs,” she says. “And I can be direct in a way that I find it very hard to in person. And I don’t know if I would have easier relationships but less songs if I wasn’t like that,” she laughs.
How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful is Florence and the Machine’s third studio album and was produced by Markus Dravs. The album features the singles What Kind of a Man, St Jude, Ship to Wreck and Delilah. After the incredible success of her first two albums Lungs and Ceremonials, Florence took a year off which was a tumultuous time for the 28-yearold. But she says, “It’s good to fall apart, because then you have to put yourself back together, and understand yourself more. “I mean although there were conflicts and there were struggles, I actually feel like the record came out as a very ‘up’ record, which I was pleased about. I think in reaction to things being difficult it was my instinct just to beat my way out of it with trumpets and the loudest song possible. “How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful was the first song that I wrote for it and it had this sense of everything being wonderful and things were boundless and this real sense of love. And then I had this year where I had to really face a lot of stuff and a lot of things didn’t work out how I wanted them to and there were things that were really sad. “But actually through the process of making the record and putting all those things together I came back to the feeling at the start. So I’m glad that overall the record has a positive feeling because even though there were struggles I came out feeling better than I went in.” For many artists, conflict and creativity are common bedfellows, and Welch says difficulties have always influenced her work. “I think I feel things quite strongly. “I think it must be quite an odd thing. I don’t know. It’s weird though because when the songs actually go out there they become about so many other different things and they become not so much about one person, they become about everything. Once they’re released, it’s like a way to put it out there and then it becomes about all this other stuff.” With the release of Ship to Wreck, there has been surmise about the song’s lyrics, which bemuses Welch. “I think the ship is either whatever I can have, that I’ve made, that I love. I have the capacity to create it and destroy it – and that’s within me. To make it and to break it, enjoy it and destroy it. I know that there’s that side of me that wants to just self-destruct and it’s still very much there but I’ve learned to contain it a bit more. That energy went into the record whereas I think in the year off I had
Exclusive content and shots on iPad, iPhone and Android devices
without making things, I was very self-destructive.” Stories have circulated about Welch’s capacity for partying, particularly with Beyonce, but the singer balances excess with healthier moments. “I have an enormous capacity!,” she laughs. “So I have to pick my moments very wisely or not at all. I drink a lot of Tequila with Beyonce – she’s really fun. “When I came to make the record, I felt like I’d messed things quite up a lot in my life, in my house and my relationships. It all felt a bit exhausted. Usually I deal with things, especially like a break-up or whatever by going like, ‘Right I’m kamikaze-ing, I am in full self-destruct mode.’ “But there was something about making this record that actually flipped it up into almost protection and the record really stopped me from doing my usual heartbreak cliff jump. It sort of saved me and protected me and cocooned me for this year. “Although it was difficult to process all that stuff it brought me to a place that I don’t think I’ve ever been before. I was like, ‘I’m figuring stuff out finally.’ So it was good to get a bit of space from my own demons.” Freedom is certainly part of Welch’s stage persona, where her style has been likened to Kate Bush and Siouxsie Sioux. In the video for What Kind of Man, she says she enjoyed letting the music take over. “It was very freeing. It felt very cathartic, because when you are dancing you can’t fake it and it
24
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
was quite empowering in a way. I felt exorcised afterwards.” Welch has spoken of the velocity in which she was propelled into the spotlight, particularly following the band’s exposure as part of the BBC Introducing show. The recent year off gave her time to catch up with her own ‘growing up’ into adult life after a thunderstorm of events. “It was like being dropped out of a hurricane,” she says, “except you didn’t land in Oz, you land in a house on your own in Kennington and you’re like, ‘Oh’. Yeah it’s like you have to do a lot of the little growing up things, the basics like sleeping, eating, not trashing the house on a Tuesday. You know, all of those, and realising that if you mess up your life, it’s your life, you can’t just move to the next city, you can’t just do a gig and make everything better. You have to sit with yourself and it’s like, ‘How do you do that?’ “When you’ve lived a life of constant travel and hotels, learning how to have breakfast in the morning and make your lunch and go to bed at some point. You know, that’s kind of really basic stuff but when you’re on tour with people, you live in a house with six brothers and sisters and then I just lived on my own which again was a big part of kind of figuring out who I was and it was intense. “I was chaotic for a while in the house. I think that kind of comes across in the record Ship To Wreck. That was about that self-destructive side
COVER STORY
but I think it was good because I realised this is my life and this is my house now, so it was good to be responsible for my own life for a bit.” Despite her success, Welch has said that her mother, whom she remains close to, hopes she’ll go back to university and study for an English literature degree, even though music is Welch’s passion.
Read about Florence Welch’s latest album and performances at thebestyoumagazine.co
“She thinks of it as quite a brutal industry, that you can get picked up and put down in. I think she’d prefer it if I did something more stable. But I might do an English literature degree after this record. I love writing and I love to read although this career already ties in most of the things that I love doing.”
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
25
26
www.the be sty o u m ag az i n e . co
FEATURE
ETERNALLY POSITIVE As a teenager, Kelle Bryan enjoyed chart success with Eternal, but after pop stardom, lupus struck. Despite this she hasn’t let the illness stop her achieving her ambitions and helping others too
Sitting in a Winnebago on a farm in 500 acres of green countryside, having her hair and make-up done for new reality show, Flock Stars, Kelle Bryan is grinning from ear to ear. As someone who sees the positives before the negatives, Bryan is in her element, embarking upon a new project with the energy and enthusiasm she undoubtedly gave when she was propelled to stardom at the age of 15 in all-girl band, Eternal. “I’m very fortunate,” says Bryan. “A year ago I was having chemotherapy for my lupus, but it wasn’t long before I was back on my feet working, being a mum – I’m a real mumpreneur.” Indeed she is. Today Bryan is wife, mother, actress, presenter, businesswoman, all juggled alongside living with the challenges of systemic lupus erythematosis. It’s an illness that would ground many, but Bryan isn’t most people, and her determination is an enduring quality, which has undoubtedly contributed to her continued success. Having studied at the Italia Conti School, where she developed her acting and performing talents, Bryan, along with school chum Louise Redknapp (nee Nurding), was spotted by record producer Denis Ingoldby. The pair went on to audition successfully for the band which would become Eternal. “It was an incredible opportunity for a 15-year-old, and our success was meteoric, but the sacrifices were significant,” says Bryan. Commercial success included 14 top 15 hits and four top 10 albums, BRIT Award nominations, MOBOs, world tours and even a performance for Pope Jean Paul II. The band’s Greatest Hits album remains the UK’s best-selling compilation album by an all-female act. But good times soured when, in 1998, Bryan was sacked from the band by a fax from remaining members, Easther and Vernie Bennett. While Bryan was a big enough name to secure a solo recording contract, just a year later she became desperately ill with arthritic joint pain, severe mouth and skin ulcers, and hair loss. “There was no warning, I just woke up one morning and couldn’t bend my fingers. My GP told me to take painkillers, but soon my hand was the shape of a claw. It was only when I went to the dentist that he examined me and said, ‘I think you might have lupus’.”
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
27
FEATURE
Diagnosis followed, but Bryan was determined to challenge increasingly tough symptoms head-on. “I was shocked at how debilitating this little-known disease was, and even more daunted that there was no cure.” Becoming patron of the St Thomas’ Lupus Trust, Bryan focused on her diet and fitness, gaining a black belt in kickboxing. “It was a really difficult time,” says Bryan, “I didn’t see it coming and it was a lot to manage, but I think it was character building stuff. Instead of getting frustrated, I try to do as much as I can to raise awareness and talk about lupus as much as possible.” One aspect of the disease, which Bryan and her husband, Jay Gudgeon, had to tackle together, was the prospect that she might not be able to have children. After discussion, the couple decided to go for it, and their family now includes three-year-old Regan and 18-month-old Kayori Rose. However, after the birth of her second child, Bryan’s eyesight, hearing and speech deteriorated until it was diagnosed that lupus had spread to her brain, and last year she underwent a course of chemotherapy to reduce the swelling on her brain. “Being a mum is the most wonderful thing in my life, and my kids are amazing,” says Bryan. “I’m probably a nightmare mum as I want them to have every
opportunity and give them everything I possibly can. Regan has been playing the drums since the age of two…” Bryan credits her own mother as a major inspiration in her success, and wants to support her children, just as she was encouraged as a young girl. “When I failed my GCSEs, my mum said, ‘Don’t worry, you’re going to be a fantastic star’ – she always gave me exactly the encouragement I needed. “She had come over from the Caribbean and started her own business from home after being taught to string cultivated pearls. She is a formidable woman and she wanted me to achieve my dreams.” While Bryan has ambitions for her own children, she is also working to help others who aspire to succeed in the creative arts. Her business, Advocate Agency, promotes and manages artists under the ethos of ‘inspiring self-belief in infinite possibilities’. “I started the agency to find a way of giving back and reinvesting in others who need a chance,” says Bryan. “I enjoy passing on what I have learnt about the industry, and their success stories fuel me. I believe that nothing’s impossible, it’s about creating and seizing opportunities.”
Exclusive content and shots on iPad, iPhone and Android devices
Alongside, Bryan is enjoying a return to her performance roots with roles as an actress in acclaimed BBC series Me & Mrs Jones and CBBC’s Rocket’s Island. She also chose to participate in ITV’s The Big Reunion, meeting up with the sisters who had forced her from the band. “I didn’t do it lightly,” says Bryan. “I thought about it long and hard as I had some of the best and worst of experiences with the band. It was hard to put that hat back on but I need to move on – partly it was about looking them in the eye and saying, ‘Why did you treat me that way?’ I did get an answer and I know it was who they were at the time and things have moved on. I got closure and I am proud of who I am today.”
Want to get into the creative arts? Find out more about Kelle Bryan’s Advocate Agency and her Active8 coaching programme at www.advocate.agency
“My next goal is Oscarville – I’ve got a little plastic Oscar that I’ve had forever but being recognised as an actor is important to me. Singing came along as part of the journey but my heart and passion lie in acting.
Visit thebestyoumagazine.co to read more about Kelle Bryan
“So long as you’re alive and kicking, you’ve got to go for your goals. I firmly believe we’re responsible for our own destiny. We focus too much on the negatives of the past but it all takes you forward – every decision took me to where I am today.”
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
29
FEATURE If variety is truly the spice of life then I must be one of the luckiest people alive. As an elite performance coach I never know what each day will bring. I have almost given up trying to organise a diary. My clients come from every walk of life, but one quality that they share is that they know what they want, and they want it now. They want to be the best they can be. During one single day I could be working with the CEO of a bank, a tour golfer, an actor, or a proud father dreading the speech that he will shortly deliver at his daughter’s wedding. I could be in my office, but more likely travelling to a sports event, a film set or to a client’s home. Or I could be working with poker legend Chris Moorman on the World Poker Tour. Another reason that I am lucky is that the methods that I use for all these varied clients are the same, albeit it with some creative customisation. This article is about Chris Moorman, and attempts to identify what makes him so special, because some of his outstanding qualities might just rub off on you too – even if you will never play poker. I have been surprised by how many people talk to me about poker, how many people watch it on TV, and how many people dream of being a poker star too. Is it the attraction of the money, the exotic travel, or perhaps dreaming of being a rebel just once in their otherwise very sensible life? Moorman is far from being a rebel, and his background is conventional enough. Although from the age of eleven there were hints of what was to come. It was then that he found bridge, and was good enough to captain England. He was pretty good at pool too, captained his university team, winning the National University Championship. At university he also discovered that playing poker was a whole lot more fun than studying economics, and much more profitable too.
Chris Moorman has achieved enormous success at the poker table, but what are the secrets to his game? Dr Stephen Simpson reports
POKER FACE
Moorman turns 30 in July, and has already won millions at the tables and online. Indeed, he is the first player to have broken the $12m barrier in online events. Moorman has also finished in the top three in tournaments over 700 times. ‘With nearly $4m banked in live tournament cashes, Moorman has evolved into one of the most accomplished and feared pros in the world,’ reported Poker Player. Shortly after we started working together Moorman notched his first live event career title at the 2014 WPT LA Poker Classic, and pocketed a mouthwatering $1,015,000 in winnings. It is difficult to quantify how much I helped Chris, but he feels that our work significantly increased his confidence and focus, especially when things did not go his way at the table. I love coaching poker players, and one of the reasons is because there is a lot in poker that is counterintuitive. One example is that you have to learn how to lose before you can win. Only 15 per cent of players win at events, so I asked Moorman what strategies he uses to deal with frequent ‘failure’? “Obviously I am trying to win the tournament when I buy in but I am realistic and know that this is going to be incredibly tough,” he says. “As long as I feel like I played close to my A game I try not to get too caught up in the actual results unless I am losing for an extended period of time. Getting too emotionally involved with losses is one of the biggest weaknesses of the average player.” There are endless debates about the relative importance of luck and skill in poker. Both are important, but how a player deals with them is far more important. Moorman is pragmatic on this subject too, and believes the game is 75 per cent skill and 25 per cent chance. “I have often won tournaments whilst not playing my best and conversely could easily play my A game and not cash in anything,” he adds. “I heard a great quote once about this, I believe it was Doyle that said it. Over the course of one hand in poker 100 per cent of the outcome can be luck. Over the course of a year, luck
30
www.the be sty o u m ag az i n e . co
can be 50 per cent. But over the course of a lifetime playing poker, luck should play .01 per cent part in the game.” So what skills might be important to be a champion? Mathematics? I was surprised by Moorman’s response. “A great player doesn’t have to be strong in mathematics but will require a basic knowledge in order to work out the odds of making their hand for example when drawing to a flush,” he explains. “A lot of the best players in the world are very strong at maths although there are also top tier players who rely very little on the maths aspect of the game.” Then what about having a great memory and card-counting skills? Not quite so simple, explains Moorman. Remembering a hand played years ago is a lot more important than one played five minutes ago. “A great player will normally have a good memory because a lot of poker is down to meta game which means you need to remember hands in detail that you have played versus particular opponents months or even years ago in order to make the optimal decision in the hand you are playing with them now.” I dig deeper to find pay dirt, and start to feel that I am getting closer to the secret. I raise a subject close to my heart. What about the importance of intuition in poker? “It helps and is extremely important,” Moorman says. “Having strong intuition and a lot of experience to aid your decision-making can often give you that extra 10 per cent that you need at the very top level of the game.” It is hardly surprising that the more experience and success a player has achieved the more they listen to and trust their gut instincts. It is however far more difficult during a long losing run which robs even the best players of their confidence. One of the ways that Moorman uses his intuition skills is in reading another player’s ‘tells’. Players make great efforts to conceal their emotions, so as not to give the other players any clue as to how good their hand is, or not. The bluff in poker is one of the key strategies to master. Despite their best efforts every player has a ‘tell’. It could be a nervous tic, or even the pupils of their eyes dilating slightly. Spot a ‘tell’ and you are in the driving seat. “I try to focus on my opponents’ mannerisms when they are involved in big pots and guess in my head whether I think they are strong or weak,” he explains. ‘Guess in my head’? This is intuition. It is a feeling. For Moorman it is in his head. For others it could be in their guts, their heart, the hairs on the back of their neck or goosebumps. The best players tend to peak in their late twenties, although this could change in the future. Younger players have won early in their career, but are the exception. As in any job, there are no short cuts to success. Just hours and hours of deep practice and analysis. Long periods of intense concentration and focus require immense mental and physical strength. Moorman estimates that he plays poker about an hour each day, so how does he cope with these pressures? “When playing online it can be quite hectic because you only get a five minute break every hour, which makes it hard to prepare food or do much else,” says Moorman. “For me I try to be prepared with food that’s handy and easy to make on break. Before I start my day grinding I like to try to get some exercise and fresh air as I know it will be a long day sitting down inside in front of a computer screen. At the end of a session I like to wind down by watching TV and having a nice meal.” There are two things that really upset me as a coach working in the field of elite performance. The first is when players take performance-enhancing drugs. If we cannot trust a new world record then much of the joy of sport is destroyed. The second thing that upsets me is when I discover that computers can beat the best players or athletes in the world. So I was
greatly reassured when Moorman guaranteed to me that while a computer can beat the best in the world in a poker cash game with limits, this would never happen in no limit tournaments. There are too many variables for a computer to process, and the most important of them are human factors. Scientists have barely discovered the mechanisms of even the most simple thought processes that control our emotions and decision-making. Even less is known about intuition in poker, and when scientists start talking about quantum and string theory most players look nervously for the nearest exit. So it is abundantly clear that life as a professional poker player is a tough one. Long unsocial hours, long losing runs and lots of stress. So what is the attraction? Fame and fortune are obvious motivations, as is the exotic travel on tour with fun-loving friends. What else drives the players to this sport to the exclusion of most other activities? Could it be that they are obsessed by playing poker, or even addicted to it? Moorman knows this to be true, and offers some extremely valuable cautionary words. “Yes, poker can be very addictive,” he says, “but you have to realise that it is just a game and not let it take over your life. If you are playing online you can set weekly or daily deposit limits and it is wise to practise good bankroll management so that you don’t end up losing money you can’t afford.” If this does not put you off then you would also be wise to study the best book on poker you can find before visiting the tables. Guess what? The current best-seller is Moorman’s Book of Poker: Improve Your Poker Game with Moorman, the most successful online poker player in history. I ask Moorman what motivated him to write his book? “To give something back to the community and to challenge myself to do something outside of my normal comfort zone. It is a hand history review of a semi-pro player and is aimed at up-and-coming players.” Was he worried about giving away too many of his secrets? Clearly not. “Not really, as poker is very situational and a lot of what I do is based on my individual reads on opponents.” So we are back to the tantalising subjects of reads, tells and intuition again. Perhaps you should also consider finding a good book on how to develop your mind skills too. If you are serious about making it to the top in one of the most challenging arenas in the world you might also like to join the ever-increasing number of players who sign up for mind coaching as well as technical coaching. You will need a lot of luck to get to the top in poker, and those who learn to uncap the awesome hidden potential of their mind find ways to make their own luck. Even a little can go a long way, and not just in poker either. So in whatever you do, and wherever you do it, I wish you good luck!
Dr Stephen Simpson is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Medicine, and an elite performance and confidence expert. He regularly appears on TV and radio and his clients include leading names from the diverse worlds of sport, business, and the entertainment industries, including professional poker. Visit drstephensimpson. com
BOOK
CLUB
This month we are giving away a wide range of fantastic books. If you’d like to be in with a chance of winning , simply email your name and contact details to prizegiveaways@ thebestyou.co with the name of the prize you would like to win in the subject title before 31 July 2015*
ENERGY HEALING BY ABBY WYNNE Energy healer and psychotherapist Abby Wynne explains the basic concepts of energy healing and gives you exercises and techniques for getting started right away. You don’t have to look outside for someone to help you heal - now you can take the first steps yourself. Learn how to ground and centre yourself, bring healing into your everyday activities to help you feel calmer and more balanced, open to a healing light, send energy healing to loved ones. ‘This is a great healing book. It is caring, positive and practical. The second part of the book has meditations for different situations and times of the day and has space clearing and great practical tips. Would definitely recommend it’ - Belle Swan
WIN!
We have one copy of Energy Healing by Abby Wynne r to give away.
MEMORIES BY RICHARD BANDLER AND OWEN FITZPATRICK In Memories, Richard Bandler discusses the origins of NLP and many of its techniques. Both Richard and co-author Owen Fitzpatrick discuss their most important influences as they take you on a journey from California in the mid 60s to North Korea; the streets of Tehran to the jungles of South America and discuss all sorts of topics... from handling crises to parenting skills, using language in helping people change to spiritual development. ‘It’s Richard Bandler and Owen Fitzpatrick together again and the result is brilliant’ - John Carey
WIN!
32
www.the be sty o u m ag az i n e . co
We have one copy of Memories by Richard Bandler and Owen Fitzpatrick to give away.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS: One entry per household. Entry implies acceptance of rules and conditions. No purchase necessary. Open to all UK residents aged 18 years or over, other than employees of The Best You and companies associated with it. Draw will be conducted by The Best You Corporation. Prize is as stated and will be awarded to the entry drawn at random on the draw date. No cash alternative is available. No correspondence will be entered into. Delayed entries will be deemed invalid. Winners’ names may be published and the winners may be required to participate in publicity. Promoter: The Best You Corporation.
WIN!
Need some inspired thinking? Enter our lucky dip and we’ll send one lucky winner a book from The Best You’s bookshelf.
ONE-MINUTE MINDFULNESS BY SIMON PARKE In One-Minute Mindfulness, Simon Parke uses stories and simple thoughts to help us see through clear eyes how we can return to the present moment and remain there. This subtle change can be startlingly healing, bringing peace into every area of our lives, allowing us to live freely and fully, and to honour what is true for each of us. ‘Simon Parke has an uncanny knack of gently directing you onto the right path to your inner knowing and truth’ - Kindred Spirit Magazine
We have two copies of One-Minute Mindfulness by Simon Parke to give away.
WIN!
THE WEALTH CHEF BY ANN WILSON Forget the old recipe of getting a good job, working hard all your life just to get by and hoping there may be some money left at the end of it all to finally live the life of your dreams. Instead, discover the world of a Wealth Chef. By understanding just five Recipes for Wealth, you can live your dream life now, while creating financial freedom! ‘A surefire recipe for living your life the way you want, free from concerns about money’ - Lois P. Frankel PhD, author of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office
We have two copies of The Wealth Chef by Ann Wilson to give away.
WIN!
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
33
BOOK
REVIEWS
With the power to entertain, enrich and empower your life, books are as important today as they have been for millennia. Here’s what’s catching our eye at The Best You this month…
GAME ON Self-confessed ‘turncoat’ Alex Scarrow says that he utilised the skills, knowledge and techniques that he learned as a games designer to write ‘addictive’ novels for children. Concerned that his son’s existence was focused on a cycle of ‘eat, sleep, play’ he interwove the text of his popular TimeRiders with the rewards and special effects that entertained his son, Jacob.
34
www.the be sty o u m ag az i n e . co
The resulting title has become a favourite, particularly among young boys, proving that books can replace controllers any day. “Life’s not a video game, Felix, there aren’t a certain number of points that send you to the next level. There isn’t actually any next level. The bad news is that everybody dies at the end. Game Over.” – Zadie Smith
BOOK REVIEWS
MOORMAN’S BOOK OF POKER BY CHRIS MOORMAN
Chris Moorman is the most successful online poker tournament player in history. Many strong poker players have written books explaining their thought processes. However, players at the low- to midstakes who want to advance to the highest levels find the leap a daunting one. Moorman, through years of hard work, has achieved this advance and now wants to help you do the same. Moorman’s Book of Poker has a unique approach. Moorman analyses 80 tournament hand histories played by co-author Byron Jacobs – a typical midstakes player. The adoption of a coaching format allows Chris to explain in clear detail exactly what is needed to progress to the next level of expertise.
“A must buy for anyone who is remotely interested in understanding how a world class professional thinks about the game” – Doyle Brunson
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
35
BOOK REVIEWS
SHY
BY SIAN PRIOR
Sian Prior has maintained a career in the public eye, as a broadcaster and performer, for more than 20 years. For far longer than that she has suffered from excruciating shyness. Eventually, after bolting from a party in a state of near-panic, she decides to investigate her condition. What is it – shyness? Where did hers come from? Why does it create such distressing turmoil beneath her assured professional front?
“A fascinating meditation on how temperament can shape a person’s life” – Books+Publishing
36
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
BOOK REVIEWS
THE RESTLESS EXECUTIVE BY JO SIMPSON
A major shift is stirring in the corporate world today. Leaders at all levels are feeling a sense of restlessness, with many questioning the value of what they do and why they do it. Intuitively they already know there is a different way to operate - to show up, honour their values, build trust and positively influence others…and now finally here is a road map that shows them how, from the inside out.
“I highly recommend this book to anyone who isn’t totally satisfied with their work or their life” – Jack Canfield
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
37
BOOK REVIEWS
LOVE YOUR JOB:
THE NEW RULES FOR CAREER HAPPINESS BY KERRY HANNON
Yes, it is possible to have a job you love, and it doesn′t require starting from scratch. Love Your Job is a guide to making work fulfilling and fun again, or even for the first time. Why count down the hours of the day or the days to retirement when you could reinvigorate your workday, transforming the daily doldrums into a daily dose of enjoyable activity? Kerry Hannon, The New York Times columnist and AARP′s jobs expert, focuses on the little things that can make a big difference in how we feel about work.
“The greatest feeling in life is knowing who you are, doing what you love, and living the life you enjoy. Kerry Hannon leads you to that place. Don’t miss this book” - Richard Leider, author of The Power of Purpose, Repacking Your Bags
38
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
LIVE LOVE LEGACY What do you want to be remembered for? What are your relationships like with those around you? How does life treat you… and how do you treat your life? There is so much good in you. Enrich your life with the passion you feel and the connections you make.
THEIR INSPIRING STORIES
How Centrepoint changes young lives
OVERCOMING SHYNESS
Help your child tackle embarassment
WHAT DOES IT TAKE… to be a toastmaster
Put your company in this space! To sponsor this page and be part of The Best You, email us at advertising@thebestyou.co
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
39
THEIR
INSPIRATIONAL STORIES CIA ROBINSON*, 19 With her mum regularly working abroad, Cia often had to stay at her grandmother’s house, but frequent arguments led to their relationship breaking down and Cia was told to leave. I came to Centrepoint on my 18th birthday in July 2013. Growing up, my home life was busy. I had one big brother, two younger brothers and a younger sister; my mum always had temporary accommodation so we were often moving. I would just settle somewhere and then I would have to move again. We used to stay at my nan’s a lot but we didn’t get along. When we were staying there, there were seven of us all together in a two-bedroom flat. After starting secondary school, Cia fell in with a bad crowd and she would often not attend lessons. I didn’t go to school that much and I got kicked out of all the time, mainly because I was absent. I was always the head of something and supposed to be a role model, but I was never there. I was always with girls that were bad and we would go and drink. I didn’t do my GCSEs as I was drunk. My mum wasn’t around that much; she does therapy so she travels a lot and when she travelled we would stay at my nan’s and that’s when everything would go bad. The more I stayed with my nan the more things got worse, because we would just argue. It was arguments about everyday things. At first I could handle it, but then the arguments started getting bigger and we were fighting and she would throw things at me. I couldn’t hit her because she’s my nan and she’s old, so I’d go to my friends’ house and drink because I couldn’t stay there. That’s when everything started to happen. I started drinking. The girls I used to spend time with did silly things like run away – we would all be together but I knew I was with the wrong people. After one fight with my nan, I just ended up leaving and staying out all night in a park. I was with a friend and we tried to sleep but it was freezing. It was lucky we had each other really. The relationship between Cia and her nan deteriorated so much she chose only to stay at her house when her mum was also home, instead staying at her boyfriend’s or friends’ houses when her mum was away. But a late night phone call from her brother while her mum was away led Cia back to the flat. My little brother called me saying he was hungry and nan had locked the fridge, so I said I’d go home and stopped at McDonalds for them. I gave them the food and conked out on the bed. I thought I’d sleep next to my sister and leave early in the morning so my nan didn’t see me. But she heard us, came in and she said ‘what the f*** are you doing in my house?’ and dragged me out of the house by my hair – I only had a bra and shorts on. I was crying it was so sad. I called my granddad and said, ‘Can I stay at yours?’, but he wasn’t having it. I called my dad but he said no too, so I got the bus to a friend who was at a hostel. I couldn’t stay at hers, but she said she would meet me and bring some clothes. After visiting the council, Cia was referred to Single Homeless Intervention and Prevention. She was temporarily moved into her own flat where she lived for a month, before being referred to Centrepoint. My room at Centrepoint was huge. I thought it was going to be an awful hostel but it’s actually very nice and clean. I am glad I came to Centrepoint because of things like the Workwise course, where we got a motivational speech and they push and encourage you. Before coming to Centrepoint I didn’t know I wanted to be a presenter, but being able to present Centrepoint’s Got Talent made me realise that’s what I want to do. Cia is now working as a waitress and hopes one day to be a television presenter. She is an ambassador for Workwise, helping to teach part of the course to other young people. The Workwise project supports a young person into training or employment by teaching them essential skills like CV writing and interview techniques. Centrepoint is helping me find placements, just doing running or something similar to get my foot in the door. I am not in employment or education at the minute, so I am focusing on the placements. Staff at Centrepoint are great – my advice to other young people facing homelessness would be to keep your head up and bring a toothbrush. *Cia Robinson is an alias.
LIVE LOVE LEGACY
COMFORT, 21 I had a good childhood but not at home. My best memory was spent outside of my house, where there was a build-up of negativity, a lot of negative energy which got me down and depressed me.
LOOKING TO
THE FUTURE
I used to take my attitude to school. I used to hate when people asked me what’s wrong, so I used to act out. In my house I got negativity so when I got to school and someone told me that I was doing something wrong I just felt that I was constantly wrong. Being young I didn’t really understand why everyone was on my case. In school I used to get in trouble for losing my temper, I used to get into fights and all sorts. I was kicked out of two mainstream secondary schools and ended up in a unit. I always used to get into arguments with my dad, especially. Sometimes we used to get into physical fights and neighbours would call the police. There was a lot of hate in my heart. I used to feel like I was living in the house, but that it wasn’t my house; that I was like a lodger. Last year, getting ready to go to university, but finding it difficult to settle in college, Comfort and her dad had a big fight and the police got involved. So, at 21, even though I wasn’t an angel growing up I’d never been in a situation where I’d been in court or anything like that. So, to be put in a situation by your own father, to get a criminal record it affected me. That was one of my lowest points. I was homeless for four months, and spent Christmas and New Year’s with my friends. But I feel happy because it took me to this stage; I’m at Centrepoint now. Me and my mum are strongminded women, my mum’s a very independent woman. So when a strong woman and another strong woman are together in a house it’s a recipe for disaster, but now we’ve both got our own kingdoms to reign we can get together and discuss how our kingdoms are going. My mum will call me now and we’ll be on the phone for two hours chatting. Ending up in Centrepoint was perfect. If you were having a tough time, and you were homeless; this is the hostel you want to end up in. You’re forced to grow up when you’re made homeless, but Centrepoint tell you what being an adult is about. You’re making it hard for yourself if you don’t take responsibility for things, and that’s part of being adult. And the sooner I learn it the sooner I’ll take it on in life. I’m trying to make it a habit.
Centrepoint gives homeless young people a future. Here, two people share their story of how the charity has supported them
I feel like I’ve been adopted into this big family. I feel like I’m in this big old mansion with loads of people who are from different background but kind of share my story in that they’ve had a tough time. You might not speak to anybody in here but you have enough respect because you’ve been through something and we can coexist and be nice to each other. w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
41
DON’T BE SHY ‘Dad has no idea how paralysing this thing is. I never want to talk to him again’. These miserable words appeared recently in a Facebook message from my teenage friend Anna*. Her father had been giving her a hard time about not finding a part-time job. He accused his daughter (and not for the first time) of being lazy and of sponging off her parents. In fact Anna is suffering from a form of anxiety so severe that some days she can’t leave the house. Anna’s father is a fearless extrovert. Like her mother, though, Anna is very shy. Shyness is an inherited temperament trait that often manifests as social anxiety; our nervous systems are hard-wired to avoid those we don’t know intimately. Some of us may eventually find ways to feel safe in the company of strangers. Others develop full-blown social phobia and endure lives of quiet desperation. The difference sometimes comes down to how we are parented. One of the first people to make a study of the experience of shyness was Charles Darwin. A century and a half ago, Darwin described shyness as one of ‘the mental states which induce blushing’. ‘It is not the simple act of reflecting on our own appearance’, Darwin wrote, ‘but the thinking what others think of us, which excites a blush. Shyness seems to depend on sensitiveness to the opinion, whether good or bad, of others, more especially with respect to external appearance.’ The scientist writes tenderly about his two year old son who behaved shyly towards his father after Darwin had returned from a week-long absence. Darwin begs his readers not to judge shy children when they avoided the scrutiny of ‘the unmerciful spectator’. One hundred and fifty years on, Darwin’s findings have been confirmed by psychologists specialising in social anxiety. According to Professor Ron Rapee, head of the Centre for Emotional Health in Sydney, at the core of social anxiety is fear of negative judgement. ‘A diagnosis (of social anxiety) requires that people avoid social situations because of that concern about being evaluated by others.’ Rapee says a lot of shy people have physical symptoms like shaking and blushing. Some are able to ‘get on with life and don’t let it stop them. But people who are highly shy are the ones most likely to be socially phobic’. The Centre for Emotional Health offers a range of online resources for the parents of anxious kids, including downloadable fact sheets. It also conducts research into the impacts of shyness on children. For example, one
42
www.the www.thebe be sty o u m ag az i n e . co
Author Sian Prior has been a broadcaster and performer for more than 20 years, but has managed a lifetime of shyness. Here she explains how we can support children suffering from social anxiety
study shows how an innate dislike of uncertainty is part of the distress experienced by young people with socially anxiety. Another confirms that social anxiety can get in the way of children making friends. I recall my own mother trying to encourage me to deal with my dislike of uncertainty when it came to making childhood friends. In my memoir, Shy, I describe how I found it almost impossible to visit my friend Sally who lived just around the corner. My anxious mind was so full of ‘what ifs’ (what if she doesn’t want me there?) that my mother had to bribe me with coins to make the journey to Sally’s place. My mother’s instincts were right; gentle encouragement with rewards for risk-taking can be very helpful for shy children. On the other hand a response like that of Anna’s father – punishing a shy child for her fears – can only add to their distress. Later in life, my mother pursued her interest in children’s behaviour and became a psychologist specialising in the study of temperament. In researching my memoir I interviewed Professor Prior (aka mum) about her findings. “‘If, by the time you’re nine or ten, you’ve been shy all along and you’re still shy then it’s a pretty enduring characteristic,” she told me. “But lots of kids are initially shy and grow out of it. The way the parents handle it can make a difference. It’s hard if the parents are biologically inclined to be shy and are modelling shy behaviour. But if the parents model brave behaviour, then that can help.” According to a set of guidelines distributed by the Centre for Emotional Health, the three most important things a parent can do for a socially anxious child are to show them affection and acceptance, to stay emotionally in touch with them and to support their attempts to be more independent. Respond consistently to your child in a warm, loving, supportive and respectful way, and support their autonomy. Be involved in the various aspects of your child’s life and engage in fun activities. Know who your child’s friends are, take an interest in what (they’re) doing. Everything in moderation, though. Being over-protective of a child gives them the message that the world is a dangerous place. It is important that children be allowed to take age-appropriate risks, attempt difficult tasks and learn from their mistakes. Being impatient with their anxiety can be unhelpful, as can pushing them too far too fast. For example it may not be helpful to encourage your teenager to enter a singing contest if they’re not yet comfortable singing in front of the family.
LIVE LOVE LEGACY
Need help? Find support at
parentingstrategies.net/depression
In Anna’s case, perhaps fronting up for a job interview is simply a bridge too far for a teenager struggling with social anxiety. If fear of negative evaluation is a problem then she may need to gain more confidence dealing with unknown adults before she puts herself in a situation where she is being judged as a job applicant. Former sex worker Kate Holden, author of the best-selling memoir In My Skin, describes herself as having been a shy child: ‘My mother tells me that when we’d go to my friends’ birthday parties I wouldn’t leave her side. Then she would invite all these people for my birthday parties and I would run away and hide while they all sang happy birthday to the cake,’ she laughs. Holden has vivid memories of being tormented by her fears. ‘I remember at school being asked to do something for a theatre class and freezing up. I sat on the side curling tighter and tighter into a little bundle with my knees up to my chin saying ‘no, no, no’. Eventually my teachers contacted my parents and suggested I see a psychologist. After six weeks the psychologist said ‘Leave her alone, stop pestering her, she’s not comfortable with this and not good at relating to people in these situations.’ ’ In my own battles with shyness I discovered that I could behave more confidently and take more risks in the workplace than in social situations. Feeling professionally useful allowed me to focus less on my own anxieties. Kate Holden describes in her memoir how she found an escape from her shyness while working in a brothel, where she could hide behind her professional persona as a sex worker. Understanding more about the causes and effects of my shyness has certainly helped me to feel less embarrassed by it and therefore to take more control. I’ve sent copies of the guidelines for parenting anxious children to both Anna and her father. Perhaps the advice they contain will help this father and daughter find common ground. Anna’s name has been changed to protect her privacy.
Sian Prior is a writer, broadcaster, musician and creative writing teacher. Shy: A Memoir is published by Text Publishing.
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
43
LIVE LOVE LEGACY
START WITH
HEART Start with mutual respect and a positive outcome is more likely, says Jim Aitkins “Look, I didn’t mean to start an argument. And I don’t know why you’re all offended. I merely said that I think you are an idiot, so I don’t see what the big deal is.” This is something you will probably never hear in the course of a high stakes conversation between two people. Much more subtle are the ways we sometimes fail to keep the focus on what does and does not need to be conveyed when discussing potentially volatile issues. Usually, we don’t come right out and call someone an idiot. And it isn’t always the case that being offended shows forth with the words, “Hey, that was offensive.” Such sentiments are revealed, though concealed, in complex subtleties; nuances that are picked up and responded to at a somewhat subconscious level. They feed arguments that take place at the conscious level where a heated argument can get kindled, lit and escalate quickly, almost before either party even knows what just happened. That’s where one of the most important lessons in the eye-opening book, Crucial Conversations by authors Kerry Petersen, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler, comes into play. The book suggests that before any high stakes conversation takes place, we need to know for sure what we want to get across.
It is absolutely crucial that we communicate from the heart and that we stay focused on what we really want and, for that matter, what we don’t want. If I know that I want to honour the other person, I can decide, in advance of our conversation, that my speech will not contain words used as a weapon. In my determination not to hurt, I will be aiming for honour as I formulate the message that I do want to get across. Sounds pretty reasonable so far, right? If so, then let’s put into practice what the authors of Crucial Conversations also recommend. It is a technique that all but assures the successful outcome of what they term a ‘high stakes’ conversation. The technique: speaking up! Explain to the other person, out loud, exactly what outcome you want to accomplish in the conversation and exactly what you want to avoid. I want to discuss the ways we can recover the production time we lost while the machinery malfunction was getting resolved. And I want to make sure you know, from the outset, that this is not about blaming you for anything. We need to get your valued input about the budget. We also want to make sure you know that your department is not a low priority. This conversation is about making sure you are clear on our curfew expectations. It is not about controlling you or curtailing your freedom or independence. According to the research of the authors noted above, clearly stating exactly what do want to accomplish (communicating, at the very beginning of the conversation, what the intended outcome is) and to state exactly what you do not want the conversation to turn into (a negative event), is an absolute essential key to successfully navigating a crucial conversation toward an outcome that all participants are happy with. If you start things off believing, in your heart, that the other person is as interested in a positive outcome as you are, and then make clear what is it that you want the conversation to accomplish, you are much more likely to avoid conflict. You will also begin to be seen as a competent and caring person.
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE...
A TOASTMASTER? With the wedding season in full flow, we asked wedding toastmaster and master of ceremonies John Driscoll about his role
46
www.the be sty o u m ag az i n e . co
LIVE LOVE LEGACY WHAT DOES A TOASTMASTER DO?
Perhaps the first thing to clear up is the difference between a wedding toastmaster and a master of ceremonies (MC) as many people wrongly assume I just turn up in a red tailcoat and make a few announcements on the day. An MC often acts as a host for a special evening, such as a charity event and is not unlike a compere, complete with a dash of humour, as well as overseeing moneymaking moments such as an auction. A wedding toastmaster is more concerned with the meticulous planning, overall etiquette and ensuring that everything a couple wish to happen, actually happens on their big day.
HOW DID YOU BECOME A TOASTMASTER?
I fell into the role by accident, five years ago. Having had a background in nurse education, and being used to public speaking, I was approached by a family member to act as a toastmaster for their wedding. Researching what this entailed (good old Google!) revealed a number of training opportunities and I took a four-day intensive programme. I now belong to the British Toastmaster Circle for my ongoing development.
WHAT DO YOU ENJOY ABOUT THE ROLE?
It really is an honour and a privilege to be asked to officiate at what is a really momentous occasion in the life of a couple and their families. In this respect, a professional wedding toastmaster needs to be passionate about their role. I say to all my couples that I am there to carry their ‘worry bag’, freeing them up to really enjoy the day with family and friends. That ‘worry bag’ can sometimes become quite heavy at our first meeting but I encourage discussion about their fears and concerns. What I enjoy most is the feeling that in most cases the couple will have themselves designed ‘the day of their dreams’ and for me to support that delivery along with all the other suppliers that contribute to the day. I also have to have a ‘plan B’ should timings begin to go awry and carry every conceivable item that might be needed on the day in the boot of my car! This can range from sewing threads, buttonhole pins, cleaning agents for spills, to spare cufflinks and pocket tissues. A professional wedding toastmaster always has to be prepared for the unexpected! But the most enjoyable aspect is the reaction of the couple on a job well done as I make that first dance announcement (my last announcement), inviting the pair onto the floor together for their first dance as a married couple.
WHAT’S THE STRANGEST REQUEST OR SITUATION YOU’VE EVER HAD AS A TOASTMASTER?
One of the trickiest situations I once faced was immediately prior to the entrance of the bride and
groom into the room, was to threaten to remove the groom’s mother from the top table who had become abusive to the bride’s parents. Diplomacy is always part of the professional toastmaster’s repertoire and needing to work in a sensitive but firm manner when issues arise that threaten to spoil the day, particularly with estranged family members and when alcohol is flowing freely. Other situations to deal with were not letting an aunt contribute with an impromptu speech at the couple’s request, and ensuring a groom had a photograph with a very large eagle (and not spoiling his suit) during a falconry display on the lawns of the venue.
AND WHAT’S THE BEST THING ABOUT THE JOB?
It doesn’t matter how experienced a toastmaster is, every wedding is unique. I still have an adrenaline rush and suffer inwardly with nerves on the arrival of the happy couple and worry excessively about fluffing my lines as there are so many ways to introduce couples, and not always Mr and Mrs, particularly in same sex marriages. But that uniqueness keeps my toastmaster role fresh and ensures I cannot be complacent. I always get a lump in my throat when the couple look at each other, so much in love, when reciting their vows. I suppose I simply love being surrounded by love on the day.
FEEL & LOOK GOOD Feeling good about yourself has a hugely positive impact on your appearance, persona and the response you ignite in others. Explore new ways to enhance the impression you make and enjoy the benefits of a positive self-image.
KITCHEN CLEAN-UP
Beth Greer detoxifies the heart of the home
ARTIST AT WORK
Skye Holland’s empowering sketches
MAKE IT A DATE
The Best You’s Inspiring Talks unveiled
Put your company in this space! To sponsor this page and be part of The Best You, email us at advertising@thebestyou.co
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
49
5 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR KITCHEN HEALTHIER Your health starts in your home. If you want to get and stay healthy, begin by assessing in your kitchen. If you feel confused about the simple, practical things you can do, don’t worry. Here are some easy ways to decrease the amount of chemical toxins you are exposed to daily in your very own kitchen.
1. EAT ORGANIC OR PESTICIDE-FREE FOODS WHENEVER POSSIBLE
There are shockingly about 54 pesticide residues on nonorganic strawberries and 47 on apples. Pesticides are hormone disruptors, neurotoxins, reproductive toxins, and are linked to cancer. The good news it that you only need to be three days away from non-organic produce to remove 80 per cent of residues in your body. Shop at farmers’ markets where you can talk to growers and find out their cultivation methods. Look at the EWG’s ‘Dirty Dozen’ list and especially avoid those that top the list.
2. FORGO FOOD ADDITIVES LIKE MSG, TRANS FATS (PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED OILS) AND ARTIFICIAL COLOURS
The latter can cause behavioural and health problems. These synthetic dyes are banned in Europe because studies have shown they cause hyperactivity. Read labels to watch for hidden colours in cereals, soft drinks, cakes, cookies, children’s medicine and vitamins.
3. ABOLISH ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS
Aspartame is a synthetic chemical found in NutraSweet, Equal, Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi, as well as sugar-free gums, candies, yoghurts and low calorie breakfast cereals. Three key studies funded by an independent laboratory
50
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
found that the sweetener caused lymphomas, leukaemias, kidney and other cancers in rats and mice.
4. CHOOSE FILTERED TAP WATER OVER BOTTLED
It will have less bacteria and chemical contaminants. Choose glass or stainless steel water containers. Scientists have found the longer a plastic water bottle sits on a shelf, whether in a grocery store or your refrigerator, the higher the risk you’ll consume a greater dose of a chemical called antimony, a potential carcinogen.
5. REPLACE PLASTICS
BPA is a ubiquitous chemical that mimics oestrogen if it’s introduced into your body. It can get there by leaching out of hard plastic bottles, especially if they are heated (in microwave ovens or dishwashers) or exposed to acidic solutions (tomato sauce) or UV light via sunlight or baby bottle UV sterilisers. BPA is also found in plastic reusable food containers, canned soup, drinks cans, cash register and cashpoint receipts. BPA is linked to everything from heart disease to obesity to reproductive problems.
Beth Greer, Super Natural Mom®, is former president and co-owner of The Learning Annex, Certified Build It Green® healthy home expert, and holistic health educator, who eliminated a tumour in her chest without drugs or surgery. She is the author of Super Natural Home, endorsed by Deepak Chopra, Ralph Nader, Peter Coyote and Dr Joseph Mercola.
FEEL & LOOK GOOD
Beth Greer, aka Super Natural Mom, warns that everyday items in the kitchen could be affecting your health
THE ULTIMATE
SELFIE
What’s the most intimate gift you can give to a partner? It’s the question artist Skye Holland’s daughter, Emmanuelle, pondered before asking her mother to paint a ‘boudoir’ portrait
FEEL & LOOK GOOD
Most of us are pretty vulnerable when we are scantily clad or naked, but – regardless of shape or size – our partners love us for who we are. Sharing this intimacy in art is the idea behind a new collection of paintings and sketches from artist Skye Holland, whose Boudoir Portraits have captured the attention of a range of clients. Holland trained as an artist at Central St. Martin’s, having worked in advertising and marketing, and was subsequently selected for the Graduate Enterprise Programme at Cranfield School of Management before launching her own Whitechapel studio. But it was the early 90s, and in the midst of a recession and property crash, Holland and her architect husband moved to South Africa with their young children for a work contract. While she carried on creating and exhibiting art, Holland additionally worked as a sign language interpreter (a skill that resulted from having been the only hearing child in a deaf family), an art consultant and the author of a series of art educational resource books. She also worked with prisoners and young offenders in both South Africa, and following her return to the UK. It was in 2009 that she took the decision to return full-time to pursue her career as an artist, encouraged by her now grown-up children. In fact, it was her daughter, Emmanuelle, then 24, who asked her to draw the first Boudoir Portrait as a 30th birthday gift for her boyfriend. Contemporary and provocative, the result was so intimate that Holland was encouraged to offer private sessions with clients looking for similar gifts for their partners. “They are an expression of sensual self-worth and beauty, and the session is hugely empowering for the women who sit for me,”
explains Holland. “It was a spontaneous thing with Emmanuel, an amazing, intimate gift for Jack that was personal and special. The idea of giving yourself in this way is so powerful. “Each time a woman sits for me, it’s like a storytelling. I have to build a bubble of trust and it’s my job to calm their nerves, make them feel safe before they relax with their body. “In many ways, it’s the ultimate ‘me time’. Most women are excited to put themselves centre stage, and whether it’s an amazing gift for a partner, or a celebratory moment, they are given the opportunity to enjoy a courageous moment.” Typically, Holland will start a sitting mid-morning and achieve a couple of shorter poses by lunchtime as the model settles and starts to get comfortable. A Champagne lunch sets a jubilant tone before the afternoon’s longer pose which Holland describes as an “intense time”. Although she has yet to receive an enquiry for a male portrait, Holland says a drawing has been a gift from a husband to a wife, although often women choose to be sketched for themselves. One woman, a breast cancer survivor, sat for Holland, subsequently saying that the resulting artwork was a celebration of her journey as a survivor. “The Boudoir Portrait is a lasting way we can invest more in ourselves,” says Holland. “In one day, women drop beliefs about their bodies that they have held for a lifetime.”
To find out more, visit theboudoirportraits.com
FEEL & LOOK GOOD
BE INSPIRED Enjoy reading The Best You? Join us for a new series of evening inspiring talks this autumn
For the first time, The Best You will be brought to life with an amazing array of international speakers, who will appear at our first series of Inspiring Talks this autumn. In the pages of The Best You, we have featured leaders in the personal development arena including John Demartini, Paul McKenna, Jordan Belfort, Tony Robbins,
Jack Canfield, Dr Richard Bandler, Wayne Dyer and Ariana Huffington, and these will be among the big-name speakers who are invited to speak at our first autumn dates. With four headline speakers, the events will run from 6-9.30pm and be simultaneously broadcast around the world via The Best You TV and by our partners, Real Wisdom TV, TV4, Hulu and Roku. Taking place at a selection of iconic London locations, including the Royal Institute of British Architects, Royal College of Physicians, Museum of London, Bafta and Tate Modern, The Best You’s Inspiring Talks will challenge, uplift and empower you.
FIRST DATES: 7 October 4 November 3 December 6 January
For more information go to http://thebestyoumagazine.co/category/blog/ and also send an email to info@thebestyou.co to find out more. w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
55
WEALTH & RICHES Building your career or business can bring both financial reward and personal growth in every aspect of your life. Seek out advice and support to ensure your success today and for the future.
ITCHY FEET?
How to know if it’s time to move on
LOVE YOUR JOB
Get your work groove back
ON SHOW
Get ready for The Best You Exhibition
Put your company in this space! To sponsor this page and be part of The Best You, email us at advertising@thebestyou.co
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
57
SAND BETWEEN YOUR TOES Does your job leave you feeling like it’s time to move on? Before you jump ship, work through the issues, says leadership coach Jo Simpson
WEALTH & RICHES
We’ve all done it, felt the ennui of a job that’s on autocycle, no matter how lofty the title and the office. The temptation when it all becomes too much is to jack it in, find a new role, or start over with something radically different. However, Jo Simpson, author of The Restless Executive, believes that unless we scratch the itch and get to the heart of our issues, we are in grave danger of merely replacing one autopilot scenario with another. Simpson speaks from her own experience having spent 25 years climbing the corporate ladder within the banking industry, before realising she wasn’t pursuing the coaching career that she truly craved. “My own restlessness, and having gone through the journey myself, means I can teach with experience. You have to reclaim your values and love what you do with purpose. “In fact, although the book focuses on the fictional character of William Cleverley who starts to lose his grip in the corporate world, I think it encourages people to stay in their jobs but find out more about what they really want.” Simpson’s pivotal moment came while lying on the chiropractor’s table for a weekly session to tackle the pain that her stressful role was ‘causing’. As the practitioner finished the session, she asked what really was going on with Simpson to bring her back so frequently. “As I went out, I turned right instead of left,” recalls Simpson. “I headed for Kensington Park where I sat on a bench and had my awakening moment, listening to the nudges inside me. I resolved to sign up for my professional coaching qualifications. I saw that my role was not working for me and shifted it to be in line with my values.”
Simpson engineered her own redundancy as she knew that her inner intuition was leading her to set up her own company so she could make a difference to more people’s lives. The path ahead wasn’t smooth, and in fact she entered a joint venture with a coaching college to train coaches in Dubai, but the company went into liquidation after 14 months, just as she put down a deposit on a one-year lease for a flat rental. Undeterred, she refocused and resolved to speak, write and coach through the restlessness that she saw in a lot of people in blue chip organisations. “I believe that people intuitively know who they truly are and how they want to show up,” says Simpson, “but you have to act on those values and lead from them with courage and purpose.” Simpson’s book outlines a threestep approach to help ‘restless executives’ focus on what they really want. “First we work on discovery,” she says, “but then we have to define what our values really mean to us and what we want which can be the tricky part.
Simpson says that while she loves working with many university students at the outset of their careers, it is the 35-55 age group who make up the majority of her clients, as these are more likely to hit the ‘mid-life working crisis’, realising that what was once important might falter and a shift occurs to find more meaning. Symptoms can include low energy, frustration, fear of the unknown, a feeling that something is missing or of being overwhelmed. On the flipside, some people become restless as a result of having a vision of what they want to achieve and how they want to live. She also believes that the recent financial crisis has caused many people to shift their thinking and working lives towards what’s really important to them. “We can’t take security for granted any more,” says Simpson. “We have to have moments where we question everything, and it’s not a bad thing. Part of you knows something should be different and you have to go through a process to come out the other side.”
“I suggest a stress test to help people put their values in priority order. Often the thing they think is most important actually ranks far lower in reality and brings powerful awareness and change. “Then we work on igniting their core values and getting them started on achieving what they really want. By honouring our values we meet our goals much more naturally. “Often we expect others to hold our values, but we have to realise that we can’t control others and we shouldn’t get emotional if they don’t deliver. You have to really know your values and go deep on them, rather than be frustrated at the first hurdle.”
The Restless Executive by Jo Simpson is published by Wiley. For more information, visit josimpson.com
WEALTH & RICHES All I really need to know about loving work I learned from Zena, my Labrador retriever. My resolution has always been to try as hard as I can to follow her example.
START THE DAY WITH GUSTO
Zena wakes with a mission. She’s motivated. And she’s determined to motivate me. She stands beside my bed, rests her head on the mattress, her eyes level with mine, and stares piercingly, willing me to get up. She’s always eager to face the outside world. In fact, she charges into it, and returns to dive into her breakfast with delight. Then she’s ready for a vigorous workout to stay physically fit. That’s a 40-minute plus walk either around the sidewalks of the city or through the woods and fields, depending on where we are that day.
FOCUS ON A TASK
Zena’s singular ability to concentrate all her mental and physical energy allows her to achieve winning performance. She’s a pro at what she does, and she devotes her whole heart and all her abilities to every project. She’s absorbed with every sinew and nerve. She’s vibrant and alive. Throw a frisbee, ball, or stick, and she’s off, tearing down the field, knowing instinctively when to pivot and leap to catch it. She dives with abandon into ponds, and swims with the strength and pure beauty of a canine athlete, making a direct beeline to her goal in record time. As far as I can tell, she never blocks out the pure enjoyment these moments offer by letting other matters distract her. Admittedly, she is free from worrying about finances, fitness or health. Instead, she delegates those matters to me.
For Kerry Hannon, all that she needs to know about workplace inspiration comes from her four-legged pal
STAY PRESENT
Zena is wholly present, in the moment, with all her being, a state that comes naturally to her. Her attentiveness to what she’s engaged in is never clouded by her future ambitions or the need to return e-mails, to tweet or to juggle three jobs at once to keep her business prosperous.
VALUE YOURSELF AND CHARGE ACCORDINGLY
Zena doesn’t do anything for free. She gets paid in the form of barter, of course, but she gets paid well for her services. There are no pay cuts, lay-offs or furloughs in her world. She commands benefits we can only dream of scoring. Her bosses adore her. She knows this, but she doesn’t take it for granted. She has a contract, albeit implied, that includes all expenses paid, first class accommodations wherever she roams; high quality and nutritious meals; vacations; spa treatments such as massages and pedicures; and other enviable employee fringe benefits.
LOOK AT WHAT GOES RIGHT
Zena concentrates on the positive aspects of her job. She doesn’t dwell on the negative or complain or whine about the long hours when she’s parked under my desk while I work and her talents aren’t being put to their best use. In a nutshell, she’s optimistic.
PUSH IN FRESH DIRECTIONS
Zena is always on the lookout for new opportunities. She takes advantage of every walk. Smells and sounds lead her from one new place to another with openness and a fresh sense of excitement. She never fails to gain from social gatherings and networking events with her dog pals. She rarely turns down an invitation to a dinner party at our friends’ houses. She regularly keeps her skills sharp and adds new ones by attending training classes and workshops with internationally renowned dog trainers Jack and Wendy Volhard, authors of Dog Training for Dummies (Wiley, 2004), and participating in an engaging rally class that keeps her on her toes as she moves through a course designed to test her skills and obedience. Her goal? Progress, not perfection.
NETWORK MORE
Zena may have a comfy job running our homes and lives, but that doesn’t mean she stops networking. She’s proactive about her networking efforts – attending events and reaching out to professionals in her field whose work she respects. She is always going out for walks to reconnect with longtime contacts, even those she has known since puppy kindergarten – anything she can do to keep old relationships solid and grab opportunities to build new ones too.
GO PLACES
Zena knows the importance of travel, of going to new places and experiencing new sights, sounds, and cultures. Her official job title: road manager. We log more than 25,000 miles a year rolling from Washington, D.C., north to Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, New Jersey, Boston, and south to Virginia, South Carolina, and beyond. Each time out the door, out of the comfort zone of her fluffy dog bed and the safety of her fenced yard, she learns valuable skills – and maybe even gets some insights into how to manage me better. She trots out to the car and pops in without looking back. No questions asked. She props her front feet on the console of my Subaru Outback and stares fixedly out the front windshield as if asking, ‘What’s next? Let’s go! By the way,’ she silently commands. ‘Can you roll the window down? I want to pop my nose out, feel the wind on my face, soak up the smells and use all my senses to enjoy the ride.’ Why the ‘lessons’ from Zena? I share these teachings with you because whenever I feel lost, or resentful, or bored with my job, I look at Zena and remember that life is for enjoying and pushing boundaries and learning. She personifies the purity of loving your job.
JOIN US AT
THE BEST YOU EXHIBITION Live in London 27th - 28th Feb 2016
A unique opportunity to meet some of the world’s greatest personal development experts As leaders in the personal development industry, The Best You is set to host the first global gathering of trainers, mentors, therapists, publishers and people who really want to achieve their full potential. The Best You Exhibition will take place in London on 27-28 February 2016, and over two days will bring together an audience of experts and those looking for ideas and inspiration. Alongside trade stands, the event will also feature talks and seminars from some of the industry’s biggest names. In fact, all you need to achieve change and growth in your personal life and business will be under one roof. Four amazing transformative spaces include the Grand Seminar Hall with world leaders from the personal development industry; workshops with hypnotherapists, business and coaching specialists; seminar rooms dedicated to business, health and wellbeing, plus a practitioners’ one-stop shop.
The event is set to be televised live globally in partnership with TV4 and Real Wisdom TV, along with broadcast via Hulu, Amazon and Samsung.
The Best You Exhibition will include: • Trainers • Publishers • Mentors • Healers • Media advisors
For more information go to http://thebestyoumagazine. co/category/blog/ and also send an email to info@thebestyou.co to find out more.
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
63
WEALTH & RICHES
THE ROCKY ROAD TO SUCCESS
RALPH LAUREN
CREATING A LIFE TIME’S STYLE
FROM EXILE TO PRESIDENT
Born in 1939 to a family whose breadwinner was a house painter, Ralph Lauren spent his formative years as a budding entrepreneurial virtuoso in his New York City-based Bronx neighbourhood. He was known to sell clothing accessories to his fellow schoolchildren, a steadfast hallmark of Lauren’s early dedication to his craft.
Michelle Bachelet was born in Santiago, Chile in 1951 into what many would see as a privileged youth. As a military ambassador, Bachelet’s father was constantly moving the family around Chile. They were even called to live in the United States for two years while he was on assignment at the Chilean Embassy in Washington, D.C.
After stints in both higher education and military service, Lauren circled back to his unavoidable passion: clothing. After working in sales for a time, Lauren attempted to design his own ties, literally transforming old rags into fashion accessories. They were dismissed by his superiors as something they could not see as a potential wide seller.
Everything seemed to be going well for Bachelet. Upon their return to Chile, she was poised to graduate high school with excellent marks and go on to a prestigious college career. In the midst of her education, the Chilean government was overthrown, and Bachelet’s father was arrested. He died in prison not long after.
When Neiman Marcus came calling, Lauren finally had the launchpad he needed. He parlayed his skill in crafting distinctive neckties into a full menswear line. Lauren then began to launch his own retail outlets, and also quickly gained recognition for his astute eye in crafting women’s’ clothing. Ever the opportunist to boost his clothing lines’ profile even higher, Lauren answered the call of Hollywood in the late-1970s, designing clothing for several popular films. The next decade and a half saw Lauren achieve unprecedented successes for his self-built brand. Along with creating a stunning flagship store in downtown Manhattan, he took his company public in the late1990s. Ralph Lauren created an iconic and refined clothing brand, a journey of craftsmanship that literally saw him turn rags into riches.
64
MICHELLE BACHELET
www.the be sty o u m ag az i n e . co
Facing hardships she hadn’t previously known, Bachelet, along with her mother, one day was set upon, blindfolded and arrested. After being tortured and treated like she was an enemy in her own nation, sympathisers to her late father were able to help her flee the country. She moved around, hopping from Australia to Germany, where she would meet her future husband and give birth to their first child. Upon returning to Chile and obtaining her medical degree, Bachelet slowly began a career in politics. She lost an early mayoral bid, but was later appointed Minister of Health, and subsequent to that Minister of National Defense. Michelle Bachelet used her intimate knowledge of medicine to propel herself to the political apex of a country that was in need of medical advancement. In 2006, her popularity soared, and she became the first female president of Chile.
THE ROCKY ROAD TO SUCCESS
HAROLD SIMMONS
WEALTH & RICHES
ELIZABETH CADY STANTON
BORN WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF POWER
SO MUCH MORE THAN THE VOTE
Ever heard of Golden, Texas? Neither has most anyone. Harold Simmons was born in this rural hamlet in 1931. Growing up, he learned the importance of education from his parents, as both were lifelong teachers and educators.
As was common in the nineteenth century, Elizabeth Cady Stanton was raised in an extremely large family by today’s standards. She was the eighth of eleven children, however several were lost to either birth complications or the rigours of life at the time.
For a time during his upbringing, Simmons and his family lived in a dilapidated shack. There was no power or plumbing. Even though they weren’t able to give their son much, Simmons’ mother and father did provide him the keys to vastly improve his position in life.
Stanton was indoctrinated into the ways of the law, and how it could be manipulated, when her father, a noted lawyer and former Congressman, exposed her early and often to the inner-workings of his profession.
Still a very young man in 1960, Simmons had a graduate degree under his belt, as well as a few years’ experience working at a Dallas-based bank. He had managed to be more shrewd than many his age, and when the 60s began, Simmons used a small sum of his savings and a large sum of a loan to purchase a local drugstore near Dallas. A mere 13 years later Simmons had proven genius to the world, transforming his small sundry shop into a powerhouse chain of one hundred stores worth more than $50m. The next two decades saw Simmons’ ambitions focused squarely on speculation and acquisition. He saw money as a way to buy more money, and make a profit. Indeed, he gained vast interests in such notable businesses as Amalgamated Sugar and the Lockheed Corporation. At the time of his death in 2013, Harold Simmons had used hundreds of millions of his substantial wealth to give back to causes such as education and medical research.
Stanton’s mother herself was an imposing figure, and hailed from a line of American settlers that fought in the country’s revolutionary war. As such, Stanton’s blood seemed destined to course with curiosity and stubbornness. It was these traits that caused her to wonder why women at the time had virtually no rights, no claim to property and really no claim to their own children. Throughout her education, Stanton remained in pace and often overachieved the boys by whom she was surrounded. She received higher education at an allfemale establishment, as colleges at the time accepted only males. This was a turning point for Stanton. Through her natural motivation to fight against female oppression, Stanton also gravitated to another movement that sought to empower the oppressed: abolitionism. This dual fight created in Stanton an unquenchable thirst to help the disenfranchised of the time. Stanton finally achieved her life’s purpose when, along with Susan B. Anthony, she led the women’s suffrage movement to victory, handing women in the United States the right to vote.
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
65
21ST CENTURY LIVING We live in a technological age and the opportunities that new ideas and developments bring to both our personal and professional lives are amazing. Discover fresh thinking and technologies that can enhance daily life.
LET’S BE FRIENDS
Can automation and customer care co-exist?
SAFE AS HOUSES
All you need for the season ahead
Put your company in this space! To sponsor this page and be part of The Best You, email us at advertising@thebestyou.co
w w w . t he b e s t yo uma ga z i ne . c o
67
HOW DO YOU DO? Combining effective use of technology with good customer care is achievable, says Joanne Smith
Enhanced access, increased efficiency, greater speed – technology has become an integral and essential part of our lives. Advances in technology have changed our world irreparably and, as a consumer, can either improve or hinder our experiences. It is a common perception that the increasing automation of services saves corporations money at the expense of jobs and customer experience. The opportunity is for companies to challenge this belief, by utilising technology intelligently, to provide shared value for both the customer and the firm, in turn leading to more satisfied and loyal customers.
PERSONAL SERVICE
Today we receive more electronic communications than ever before, and in order to make themselves heard over the noise of competitors, companies are placing ever more emphasis on ensuring positive customer experiences that increase loyalty. With emphasis on the customer experience there is naturally a pull for technology that provides efficiencies for firms, but also adds value to the customer relationship. Online shopping retailers such as Amazon intelligently uses data gleaned from customers’ preferences to promote more products and services, streamlining the sales and marketing process in a way that creates more revenue opportunities whist also providing value to the customer. Similarly, RecordSure, a solution for financial services firms, that records and analyses the conversations between frontline staff and
68
www.thebe sty o u m ag az i n e . co
customers, aggregates data to provide the firm with key insights about what they do well, where improvements can be made and what their customers think. Consequently, this solution provides the company with an efficient method of monitoring staff while providing vital information that can improve design of products and services and the experience for customers.
21ST CENTURY LIVING
CUSTOMER CARE
Companies have a commercial responsibility to reduce waste by ensuring processes are efficient, regardless of sector or product. However, customer satisfaction should also be of paramount importance. This comes down to understanding customers’ preferences, designing products and services that meet their needs and distributing to them in a way that is quick and easy.
Any firm that uses technology to streamline process should consider whether its systems: INCREASE ACCURACY AND EFFICIENCY How many of us have become frustrated by an automated customer service system that takes us through endless options only to find there is no option that exactly meets our needs? Often, customers would prefer to speak to a human who can assess a problem and handle it more quickly rather than make an uninformed decision themselves based on the options of an automated system.
PROTECT TRUST Cybercrime and IT systems’ failures can contribute to a lack of confidence and trust in the systems and technology administered to increase accessibility and improve customer experience. Mistrust is an acute concern in the financial services sector especially around the security and safety of money. Retaining this trust should therefore be a top priority.
A poor experience can be persistent and result in avoidance of a particular company or product and discourage customers from using certain technologies. Dissatisfaction is further exacerbated as it creates barriers to services and products that may be beneficial to the customer.
Firms should obtain first-hand customer feedback and rigorously test whether the systems in use are a barrier to a positive experience.
The increasing automation of services can be an improvement to customer experience particularly where it accelerates process or improves accuracy. However, despite the obvious positives, the pace of change and the complexities of technology can also produce negatives that are a challenge to customers’ perceptions of product or service value.
IMPROVE ACCESS The movement to automated and online systems means that some tranches of society are becoming increasingly marginalised. For example, bank branch closures make access to financial services harder for those customers who cannot access or use online banking. There is an increasing focus on ensuring vulnerable customers are catered for and it remains a heightened concern for watchdogs across sectors, particularly in financial services.
Fulfilling customers’ perception of value will facilitate retention and loyalty, and can be a vital marketing tool. Therefore, using technology intelligently, based on an understanding of customers’ preferences is imperative in a competitive marketplace.
Joanne Smith is CEO of RecordSure (recordsure. com) a unique solution to regulatory requirements and has worked in financial services for more than 20 years. In 2014, she was named Inspirational Woman of the Year in Compliance at the inaugural Women in Compliance Awards.
21ST CENTURY LIVING
EASY
LIVING
Summer’s finally here, and it’s time to start stocking up on the tech that’ll help you make the most out of the season. Summer is the time to deepen relationships, pursue once-in-a-lifetime experiences, get to those projects around the house you’ve been putting off all year and tackle that ‘to-read’ pile. While the sun is shining, use the technology that you have to enrich your experiences, not as a stand in for the experiences themselves
L OGITECH K400 PLUS
This wireless keyboard doesn’t represent a massive technological leap forward, but the wireless keyboard does seem to be something that technology consumers still need to be reminded about from time to time. More and more people are linking their home computers to their televisions, but too many of them are using their television or device remotes when they are searching for something on the internet or in their data files. The Logitech K400 Plus gives you the full-sized keyboard, plus a surprisingly responsive trackpad. Add a few media shortcuts and an attractive design, and you’ve got a must-have for those who have recently merged their computing and couch surfing. Suggested retail price: £35
B
J P UNE OVEN
The June Oven won’t be shipping until next spring, but it might be wise to start thinking about a pre-order. From the looks of the device, it’s going to be nothing short of revolutionary in terms of what it allows you to do in the kitchen. Most interesting to tech fans is the HD camera in the device, which streams video to your device, allowing you to keep an eye on your dinner or desserts from wherever you are. This is only the tip of the iceberg: the device has access to more recipes than you can count (you can also input your own), it sends notifications to your devices, and it can even sense what it’s cooking and make suggestions based on the advice of some of the world’s best chefs. An intelligent cooking caddy for your kitchen. Suggested retail price: £999
B
P
UDDYGUARD FLARE If you’re thinking about spending any time away from home for extended periods this summer, a security system provides the kind of peace-of-mind that many of us need to truly kick back and relax. BuddyGuard, a Berlin-based security tech company, is just at the tail end of its Kickstarter campaign, and it has exceeded its fundraising goals, so we should see the Flare available to order soon. Featuring motion and temperature sensors and a 1080p camera, Flare can be as unobtrusive as you want it to be. It looks a lot like a smoke detector, so the most logical place for it is on the ceiling, and mounting takes about as long as it probably takes you to put on a pair of socks. It can recognise the difference between your face and that of a stranger, and, best of all, it’s voice-activated, so, as you leave for your summer vacation, you can tell it you’re leaving and for how long. It’ll stay active for the duration of your trip. Suggested retail price: £149
ANASONIC LUMIX DMC – FT5 This little camera can do everything. No matter where your summer adventures take you, the Lumix DMC – FT5 can come along, and you can be guaranteed that, unless you’re the forgetful type, it’ll come back no worse for wear. It’ll allow you to shoot pictures or 1920 x 1080 50p HD video at a depth of up to 13 metres. It’s got a pressure resistant housing that’ll take whatever you can throw at it. It’s even dustproof, so it’ll hold up at the beach or even the dustiest festival. Perfect for the adventurous shutterbug. Suggested retail price: £275
L INKSTATION 420
My to-watch list has a way of growing exponentially during the summer months. My plans to catch up on this show or that one always seem to fall by the wayside (the summer months mean less time spent in front of the tube, and that’s hardly a bad thing). Still, I need to keep my shows somewhere until things settle down in the autumn months, and my computer just doesn’t have the necessary space. Enter the Linkstation 420. Available in two, four and eight TB versions, the sleek device is able to store as much as you can throw at it, and, best of all, it makes all of your files accessible through the cloud, so if you do get a spare moment to catch up, you can do so wherever you are. Suggested retail price: £175 (2 TB)
THE BEST YOU DIRECTORY The best professionals in personal development
UNITED KINGDOM
SPORTS THERAPISTS AND NUTRITIONISTS
Dr Stephen Simpson NLP, hypnotherapy and havening Email: doc@drstephensimpson.com Website: www.drstephensimpson.com Clients include leading names from the world of sport, business and the entertainment industries
Shayna Schulman Attitude adjuster and flexibility enhancer Email: Shayna.s@virgin.net Phone: +44 (0) 208 960 7715 Licensed trainer, coaching, consulting, yoga, nutrition
NLP TRAINERS Tina Taylor: Licensed master trainer and practitioner Email: kay@the-me-group.com Phone: +44 (0) 7946 351640 Website: tina@tina-taylor.com Tina’s experience allows her to create and provide some unique coaching services, from stopping addictions to pregnancy and pain control
Ulrika Shaw: Thrive consultant and hypnotherapist Email: enquiry@shawmind.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7810 556029 Website: www.shawmind.co.uk Are you suffering from anxieties or depression? Maybe you’re struggling with bad habits such as overeating or smoking? I help people overcome anything that holds them back!
Geoff Rolls: Corporate coach and kinesiologist Email: geoff@geoffrolls.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7905 056 513 Website: www.geoffrolls.co.uk Learning and development, NLP trainer, TFH kinesiology instructor
June O’Driscoll: Exec coach, business coach, trainer Email: june@thoughtitude.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)7876 657 8055 Website: www.thoughtitude.co.uk NLP, coaching and hypnotherapy training school and consultancy
LIFE COACHES Dr Andrew A Parsons Mindfulness, resilience and finding clear purpose Email: aaparsons@reciprocalminds.com Phone: +44 (0)7854 029 268 Support people, build awareness and make changes for success
Dustin Vice Personal and business development coaching Email: dustin@alliancecoachingsystem.com Website: www.alliancecoachingsystem.com Professional coaching, coaching business system for professional coaches
Gail Cherry: Torchlight coaching Email: gail@torchlightcoaching.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)1143 489 161 Website: www.torchlightcoaching.co.uk Helping people with their personal and professional development. We work together to be the best you
Ruth Hepworth: Life coach Email: ruth.hepworth@ntlworld.com Phone: +44 (0)1252 655 849
Those Life Consultant Guys: Coaching, seminars, business, goal setting and more Website: www.thoselifeconsultantguys.com A coaching company which prides itself on helping you to live your best life; every day, through one-on-one sessions and seminar programmes
Nick Nanton Career and life coaching, consultancy and public speaking Website: www.nicknanton.com Phone: (407) 215-7737 Recognised as one of the top thought-leaders in the business world
Edson Williams: Life coaching Email: edson@leadbyexample.com Phone: +44(0)7867517777 Website: www.leadbyexample.com Specialising in leadership development and sport coaching
David Owen: Life coach & NLP trainer Email: bestyou@excel-yourself.com Phone: 07900 243494 Website: www.excel-yourself.com Stop smoking, slimming, phobias, relationships, stress, confidence, self-esteem
THE BEST YOU DIRECTORY The best professionals in personal development
PHOBIA SPECIALISTS John Vincent Public speaking without fear Email: John@JohnVincent.tv Phone: +44 (0)7808 545 421 Website: www.johnvincent.tv
Paul Wright Phobias, anxieties, panic attacks Email: paul@phobiagone.com Phone: +44 (0)203 086 8444 Website: www.phobiagone.com
NLP THERAPISTS / HYPNOTHERAPISTS Linda Cameron and Gail Walshe Inspire for impact Email: say-hello@inspireforimpact.com Phone: +44 (0)845 601 7567 Website: www.inspireforimpact.com NLP trainers, NLP master practitioners, NLP life coaches, hypnotherapists
Debbie Williams Birmingham NLP Practice Group Website: www.debbiewilliams.co.uk Phone: +44 (0)121 241 0728 Life coaching, public speaking, sports coaching, all eating disorders, emotional mastery, OCD, stopping blushing, cocaine addiction, binge drinking
Edson Williams Coaching, NLP, personal development Email: say-hello@inspireforimpact.com Phone: +44 (0) 7867517777 Website: www.leadbyexample.com With an holistic approach, Edson specialises in performance coaching
Laura Spicer: Public speaking skills and confidence Email: laura.spicer@gmail.com Phone: 01752 361 576 Website: www.laura-spicer.com The only accredited sound practice trainer for the Society of NLP
EATING DISORDERS John Arroyo Coaching, personal development Email: john@johnarroyo.co.uk I have been a therapist and personal development trainer for 20 years, specialising in eating disorders for the last 10 years
EUROPE
NLP TRAINERS
Pasquale Acampora (Italy) Master trainer and mental coach, NLP, team building Website: www.blackship.it Phone: +39 (0)335 70 99 000 Pasquale’s key areas are sport and business; he has worked with top athletes and multinational companies
Alessandro Mora (Italy) Sport coaching Email: a.mora@ekis.it Phone: +39 (0)522 337 611 Website: www.pnlekis.com NLP, coaching and team building applied to sport and business all over Italy
Xavier Pirla (Spain): NLP master trainer and NLP coach Email: kay@the-me-group.com Phone: 91 002 84 44 (Madrid) 93 193 6449 (Barcelona) Website: www.the-me-group.com NLP, NLP business applications, coaching workshops and consultancy
Aleksander Sinigoj (Slovenia) Mastermind academy Email: info@itnlp.com Website: www.aleksandersinigoj.com Leadership, motivation, sales, business NLP
To include your details in The Best You directory, call 0203 011 0866 or email advertising@thebestyou.co Visit www.thebestyoudirectory.co for more personal development professionals
ol 単 pa s e
tALKS
£29.99