February 2013
THE BEST
YOU
Life Without Limits
TM
✚ What makes Tiger Woods roar? ✚ Sports super agent
Jon Smith Invented the game
Harvey Goldsmith World's Greatest Promoter
Contents
If you run you stand a chance of losing, but if you don’t run you’ve already lost.
February 2013
Barack Obama
Features
Live love legacy
6 The Golden Touch
44 Love Sees No Colour
Harvey Goldsmith is the man behind Rock's most legendary concerts and stars
46 Careful, They Might Hear You
10 Jon Smith Invented the Game
Janet Murray's guide to protecting kids through divorce
48 Love is Great, Love is Kind, Love is All
The Best You Talks to The Super Sports Agent
6
inner you 14 The Futurists
Anne Jirsch discusses Future Life Progression
Sophie Keller on finding, keeping and growing love
Feel & look good 52 Nutrition Secrets To Create A Better Life
Angela Steel on getting the best out of food
16 Influencing Persuasion
55 Dressing for Success
18 Beware the Emotional Vampire
56 10 Tips for a Happy Bride
John La Valle talks about being persuasive
Matt Wingett on how to stop those pesky life-suckers
22 Keeping the Vision
Janet Gray's amazing triumph over adversity
61 Increasing the value of your company
68 Stressbusting at Work
64 For the Love of Money
70 21st Century Energy Saving Tips
Nia Jones on whether there's more to cooking shows than food
21st century living 66 10 Questions to Kickstart Your Business Idea
We look at what puts fire in Tiger Woods's belly
28 More Than Just Chefs
Michele Paradise on having a great wedding day
58 The First 10 Seconds Matters
24 Tiger's Roar
44
Fiona Thompson gives sartorial tips to impress
Wealth & riches
Enjoy life
22
Entrepreneur Jessica Huie's life wasn't always easy
Emma Vites on being the best job candidate
Andy Hurst says it's not just about profit
T. Harv Eker on personal and financial well-being
How you can use "crowdsourcing"
The Best You helps you find peace in the workplace
The Best You helps you save cash!
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Contributors Andy Hurst
T. Harv Eker
is an author, businessman and motivational speaker known for his theories on wealth and motivation. He is the author of the book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. @T_Harv_eker
is passionate about the power of great brands and their ability to build equity value and transform businesses. He has held senior commercial roles with blue chip corporate brands, as well as leadership roles in SME and mid-tier businesses. Andy joined Shirlaws in 2011. @andyhurst1
Janet Murray
Michele Paradise
is a london-based life coach with over 20 years experience in the corporate world and as a successful entrepreneur. She is author of two eBooks, “"Divorced But Not Desperate" and "New Single You". @janet_murray
Michele Paradise is an ex-fashion model, life-coach and hypnotherapist who was trained by Paul McKenna PhD. She is recognised as the world's leading expert on coaching brides. @BridalCoachUK
Anne Jirsch
Nia Jones
is a psychic with an extraordinary gift. She is also a Tarot Consultant, Metaphysical Teacher, Past Life Regressionist and Future Life Progressionist. Anne’s client base is worldwide and includes heads of industry, politicians and celebrities. @annejirsch
is a journalist/ playwright, who contributes to The Guardian Online Community Film Blog’s Clip Joint, Readers Panel and My Favourite series. She writes for insidemediatrack. com and spookyisles. com and is part of the editorial team for mydylarama.org.uk. @niaserenwib
Stephen Simpson
Angela Steel
is a Karl Morris Certified Master Mind Factor Coach and has incorporated his own methods into his sports coaching techniques, taking the best from the frequently confusing world of hypnosis, meditation, Zen, NLP, philosophy, and even quantum physics. @dr_sr_simpson
is a qualified nutritional therapist and expert on effective, healthy and long-term weight loss. She is an accredited member of British Association of Nutritional Therapists, Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council. @SocioWellBeing
Sophie Keller
is a Happiness expert, a life coach and author. She is an expert in human behaviour and communication skills and has trained in many mind, body and spirit healing techniques, including NLP, Feng Shui and Yoga. @Sophie_Keller
Fiona Thompson
John La Valle one of the world's most respected business trainers and consultants, is the president of the Society of NLP™ and co-trains with Richard Bandler around the world. @johnlavalle
Emma Vites
is a co-founder of StyleSparrow.com, the online place to get answers to your real life styling questions. Previously, Fiona was a banker with JP Morgan and a consultant with McKinsey & Co. She has also worked as a policy advisor for the Prime Minister’s Strategy Unit.
is a leading Career Coach, Sales Coach and speaker who specialises in helping people ‘sell’ themselves in the most effective way to ensure maximum success in their careers, relationships and lives. She can be booked for 1-1 coaching and mentoring. @emmavites
The Best You Magazine Editor and Publisher Bernardo Moya Deputy Editor Associate Editor Technical Consultant Advertising Layout
David Saunderson
elcome to a new issue of The Best You I must say it’s a great feeling to have such amazing talent contributing. The people I am meeting and interviewing for the Magazine make me feel truly blessed and inspired by their knowledge and wisdom. This month will see St Valentine's Day celebrated all over the world. While many people will be happy they have found love, some people will be wondering why they can't get a partner. And some of those will look for something or someone to blame, rather than doing what they need to do: change their life. Some people say there never is one thing, one tip, one decision or one idea that can make the change. I think they're wrong. Sometimes just one small change really CAN make the difference. That's true in life, generally. Too many people blame the government, the education system, their parents, their boss, their lack of luck, the economy, global warming for what's going on in their lives. I hate to be the bearer of bad news (by the way The Best You only publishes good news) NO one will come to your rescue. Just as no handsome prince will knock at your door looking for love, he won't provide you the dream job or the dream life… It's down to you to make it happen. That's the one common denominator shared by all the successful people I've interviewed. They go and do what needs doing! I understand how scary that
can be. My dad died when I was 15 and it was only when I reached my 30s and I was a dad that I realized I was responsible for how my life went from hereon in. I realized I wasn’t going to have a father figure in my life ever again and no one was coming to rescue me, either. The world needs leaders, motivators, positive people, people with an attitude, a spine, people who are willing to do something about making their life great. Its simple: be led or lead, lose or win, be unhappy or happy, just live a day at a time or LIVE. Whether it's finding love, getting a job, achieving happiness or getting over a phobia... we are here to give you the pointer. The rest is up to you. So take action… admit your responsibility and do something about it! And enjoy a life without limits. b All the best! Bernardo Moya, Editor/Publisher @bernardo_moya
We want your stories
The Best You is all about inspiring people. If you have a tale to tell that you think will help someone become the best they can be, please tell us. Email: info@thebestgroupinternational.co Twitter:@thebestyou_ Facebook.com/tbycb www.youtube.com/TheBestYouTV
Matt Wingett Martin Carter Carla Phipps | carla.phipps @thebestgroupinternational.co Aaron Paterson
The Best Group International 5 Percy St, London, United Kingdom, w1t 1dg Tel: +44 (0)845 230 2033 | www.thebestyou.co 4 w w w.thebestyou.co
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Cover story
Harvey Goldsmith
Bernardo Moya interviews Harvey Goldsmith to find out how he came to know the greatest rock artists in the world and what skills you need to promote them.
Legendary as a music promoter, it's true to say Harvey Goldsmith has …
The Golden Touch
Roger Daltrey
W
hen Harvey Goldsmith was growing up, his house was awash with music. But he puts his ability to organise some of the most impressive musical events of the last 50 years down to being in the Scouts! "We used to go to camp and we were trained how to look after people, to think about security, to look at first aid, your responsibilities and the things you had to do. My thought process came from that early training," he says, recalling how he would make copious lists of all the things that could go wrong to pre-empt them. So, woggles and uniforms were the unlikely influence behind one of the world's greatest rock band promoters. It all started early for Harvey. At University in Brighton he took over the Student Union canteen on Friday night and ran his own club. "Within about a month," he says, "you couldn’t get in." He realised there was a real need for live entertainment. Within a short time Harvey was booking bands at 12 universities in the South, had promoted the young Eric Clapton and had his own club in Brighton. Then as an exchange student he did a Greyhound bus road-trip around the US. On the way he won $900 in a casino in Las Vegas, befriended The Grateful Dead in San Francisco and arranged to sell posters in Europe for the rival Avalon and Fillmore clubs. "The artwork was amazing," he says. These early experiences are great examples of his flexible and entrepreneurial mindset. He clearly sees
Watch Harvey Goldsmith explain how he reached the top in music entertainment - use in the video thing 6 w w w.thebestyou.co
opportunities and follows his instincts. From his early years of promoting Eric Clapton, clubbing, hanging out with The Grateful Dead through to organising tours for the likes of Manfred Mann and The New Seekers, he has simply been willing to go for it. The list of his achievements in the world of rock music, include organising the massive Live Aid concert in 1985 which raised £116 million for the starving in Africa and the later Live 8 concert in 2005 that saw rock music played on TV across the world for 17 hours. So how did he build such mega success? What stands out is Harvey's brilliant skill at networking. "Most people when they grow up stay within their peer group. I used to flit from one group to another and befriended a number of groups. I don’t know why, but I just did. I kind of enjoyed it." Enjoyment rather than money is at the heart of his motivation. "I never really thought about the money," he says. "My theory was that if I picked the right act, put on a great event, sold the tickets, it’s going to work and at the end of the day... Money was never ever my prime mover." He also learned from his own and others' mistakes. When he was young he attended an overpriced Ray Charles gig in which Ray Charles appeared for only 35 minutes. He angrily left, promising himself never to let that happen again. "So, I learnt how to look after people," he says. He was also prepared to take risks. "I had a good eye and ear for talent and the other thing that➺
The Rolling Stones
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Cover story
Harvey Goldsmith #TheBestYou
Harvey Goldsmith
Roll of Honour U2
Luciano Pavarotti
Some of the many amazing superstar acts Harvey Goldsmith has worked with include:
Diana Ross
Black Eyed Peas
I was prepared to do was to be where the buck stopped." When he got something wrong, he would always admit it. He is clear about the skills a promoter needs: "You’ve got to take care of the artists. You’ve got to befriend the managers, you’ve got to have trust within the agents who book the acts globally. You’ve got to have the balls and the resource to stick your neck out because you’re betting on the 3.30 every day. But beyond that you must take care of the crew. And the tour manager. And the stage manager. You’ve got to take care of that crew because you depend on their good will to make sure the shows start on time." "And then, when you come to the show, you have to make sure the audience is having as good a time as they expect, if not more. Because they’re the ones paying for everything and if you don’t take care of that audience... you’re not doing your job properly." So, what is his advice to those wanting to follow in his footsteps? "First of all, if you want to be in the entertainment business do some research. Do you want to be a PR guy, a roadie, a tour manager, in A and R? Whether it's general management, finance, agency, managing - think about what interests you." "Next be ready for some serious rough times before you get to the smooth times. You’ve got to be able to make mistakes and learn from those mistakes. You’ve got to be able to stick it through and be able to pick yourself. You’ve got to have confidence in yourself. This is a business about confidence." This last piece of advice is clear. "Today it’s that much tougher to break into the business. You’ve just got to be damn sure you’re bloody good at what you’re doing - and stick with it." b
Harvey Goldsmith At A Glance
Robert Plant
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• A living legend. • The reason he has such a great relationship with all the bands he has worked with is because he is down to earth, accessible without realising extremely knowledgeable man. • A unique guy who has in a lifetime who has made promoting events, bands and concerts around the world look easy.
• • • • • • • • • • •
Andrea Bocelli Bee Gees Bob Dylan Bruce Springsteen David Bowie Diana Ross Elton John Eric Clapton Genesis Jeff Beck Jools Holland
• • • • • • • • • • •
Led Zeppelin Luciano Pavarotti Lynyrd Skynyrd Madness Manfred Mann Marc Bolan Paul McCartney Pink Floyd Queen Rod Stewart Rolling Stones
• • • • • • • • • • •
Santana Shirley Bassey Sting The Eagles The Grateful Dead The New Seekers The Who U2 Van Morrison Wings Yusuf Islam
Organised many charity events, including:
•
Elton Jo
hn
Eric Clapton
First major global TV event The Concert for Kampuchea, which raised $2million from worldwide sales for the victims of Pol Pot in 1978. Pete Townsend
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Live Aid in 1985, alongside Bob Geldof and Midge Ure. Has an audience worldwide of 1.9 billion and raised £116 million for famine relief and over 60 world class acts performing in UK and US.
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Live 8 in 2005, which had 17 hours of live rock music played in the G8 states throughout the world.
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CBE in the Queen’s Birthday Honours List in 1996.
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Chevalier des Arts et des Lettres from the French Minister of Culture
Some of Goldsmith's many achievements and honours:
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International Music Person of The Year for his outstanding contributions to the Music Industry at the MUSEXPO by the City of West Hollywood.
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Honorary Fellowship from Ravensbourne, the university sector college innovating in digital media and design in September 2011.
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Lord Mayor of London gave him Freedom of The City in November 2011.
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July 2012, The University of Brighton presented Harvey with an Honorary Degree of Doctor of Arts.
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A Diamond Jubilee Award by HM The Queen for his contribution to The Arts.
Shirely Bassey
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Feature
Jon Smith The Super Sports Agent who invented the Game
Jon Smith
I think you are born with an innate desire to succeed, most of us are, but I think having a disability can make you that much more ambitious.
The man who practically invented the modern sports agent in the UK, brought the American National Football League to Britain and took Mikhail Gorbachev out to dinner talks about success, entrepreneurship - and the art of communication.
I
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#TheBestYou
Watch Jon Smith talk about being a top sports agent here on The Best You.
t isn't everyone who tells you that having a stammer beaten out of them as a child was a positive experience - but that's exactly what Jon Smith affirms. "I had the world’s worst stammer," he says, adding that people call him Jon rather than his real name of Jonathan because of it. "I’d go, 'Erm, erm, erm, erm, J, J' and eventually 'Jon -'. They’d be so relieved to hear something come out my mouth they’d go, 'Hi Jon' - and that was as far as the conversation ever got." Then he met Bill Kerr in the 1960s, a speech therapist with a completely unique view of stammering. His approach sounds barbaric by modern standards. Kerr believed stammering was caused by fear of communicating, so the brain had to be taught that the result of not communicating was worse. Which meant that he beat the kids whenever they stammered. He recalls he was 15 when he went on a week's course with Kerr. "There were eight of us in this class. It took us the first three hours to say 'Good morning' to each other!" "We used to be made to stand bolt upright, purse your lips, nod your head to every syllable and speak very slowly. If we stammered we’d get hit. I mean physically punched or slapped round the face or punched in the back. It was awful, but all of our brains seemed to say, after a day or two, 'This is actually something that we should do. We should speak properly ‘cause we’re getting hurt'. I was cured in three days." Jon had a particular problem with Ps, Ds and Ts and the day he went to the shops and "bought a polka dotted tie - that was the moment my life changed." Once he'd started speaking there was
no stopping him. It wasn't long before he started a record production company that made football records. "We made records for Tottenham Hotspur and Queens Park Rangers and Arsenal. We started making money. I was about 17 at that time." So, where did that entrepreneurial drive come from? “I think you are born with an innate desire to succeed, most of us are, but I think having a disability can make you that much more ambitious." By now he was on a roll. He became involved in the club scene and signed some lucrative music publishing deals. Then, when he was 29 his wife died of leukaemia. Jon was living in the US, and for three years he says he "lived out the bottom of a whisky bottle," only to be pulled out by close friends. While he was in the US, he realised something about the American sporting scene. "It was a culture shock for me to see sport as entertainment." One day he linked up with an old pal called Paul Mariner in England who had just joined Arsenal. Jon suggested that with his connections, they start a football agency that would make sport entertainment. The year was 1985 and First Artist was one of the first football agencies in English football. Luck was on their side. The England Team's agent was Harry Swales, and he decided he didn't want to be their agent any more. Paul Mariner had just left the England Team so they followed him. "I’d been in business about 15 days and I’d landed the England Football Team as my first contract!" The years that followed saw many highlights. Jon did lucrative "ambush advertising" for Coca Cola, brought the US National Football League to Wembley and
even brought Mikhail Gorbachev to the UK to give talks. Over dinner with Gorbachev, Jon was struck by what greatness is. He believes it's being sprinkled by "a bit of special dust" which means that people have "that extraordinary untouchable quality of knowing that their presence means something on this planet." Jon also believes everyone has that. When people ask “What does it take to be successful?” He answers: "Explore what you really are and take that bit of your soul and promote it to people. Everybody has a talent." So what is Jon's? "Mine is pretty abstract," he says, "it’s about getting people to work together in a team for success." At the centre of that skill, is the great talent, he was handed when he was a boy of 15. As he says himself of his success: "Communication is a cornerstone." b
Jon Smith At A Glance • Born with speech impediment. • Loved sport. • Had his stammer cured at age 15. • Made records of football songs at 17. • Made money on the club scene. • Became music publisher. • Wife died of leukaemia when he was 29 • Lost three years to alcohol. • Realised he wanted to change sport in the UK. • Became football agent. • Signed England team. • Made money ambush marketing football with Coca-Cola. • Brought NFL to Wembley • Continues as a high-powered football agent today. w w w.thebestyou.co 11
THE BEST
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Inner you
Connect with the wonderful, special, powerful individual deep inside... Learn new ways to get your mind and body in balance and bring out the rich core of your being... With mind and body in balance, discover the secrets that will enable you to take charge of your Inner Life and become the Best You.
Life Without Limits
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The Futurists
Anne Jirsch discusses Future Life Progression
Influencing Persuasion John La Valle talks about being persuasive
Beware the Emotional Vampire how to stop those pesky life-suckers
Tell us your inspirational story
Inspire others with your personal story of change. Email us at info@thebestgroupinternational.co
inner you: Ann Jirsch
The Futurists
#TheBestYou
Look into your own future
Anne Jirsch discusses Future Life Progression – the ability to discover what’s next in your life without leaving your armchair ...
I Today more than ever we need to be constantly re-evaluating ourselves. We need a little insight to guide us. 14 w w w.thebestyou.co
f you could take a little peek into the future would you? Imagine having a time machine that would allow you to take trips into the future to discover the next big thing in your field, or perhaps gain insight into where you will be in five or ten years time. It may sound fantastical but today business leaders are increasingly consulting futurists, business professionals who predict the future based charts, trends and logic. I have a better way. To be fair the futurists are pretty accurate but I am sure you do not want to spend a fortune on their services. I can show you how to get the same or better results that will be more personal to you. I work with Future Life Progression, you’ve probably heard of Past Life Regression well this is the flip side – we move forward to see the future. I stumbled upon this method by accident. Myself and two soldiers decided to look into the past. We brought in one of my students to guide us back but instead of viewing the past, all three of us spontaneously saw an event that was still to happen. At the time we had no idea of what it was or what it meant but three weeks later on
September the 11th as we watched the attack on the twin towers unfold on our screens it was exactly what we had seen. From that moment we began experimenting to see if we could predict more world events. Within a fortnight Dave had predicted that America would invade Iraq looking for weapons of mass destruction. The results were consistently accurate. I began experimenting with my willing clients taking them a few years into the future; again the results were amazing. They would see where they would be living, who was in their lives and how their work was progressing. We looked at our own futures and glimpsed properties that we later found and people that we eventually met. Clients were meeting their ideal partners, getting businesses off the ground, resolving issues with their health or finances. We knew we were on to something. Soon word spread and people all over the world began asking for sessions. I knew I couldn’t be everywhere and so set up Future Life Training. About this time Paul McKenna took an interest in our work and gave us guidance with tightening up our procedures and techniques.
Things were moving fast. Today more than ever we need to be constantly re-evaluating ourselves. We need a little insight to guide us. We cannot stay in one place otherwise we will slide backwards. All of us need to know which direction to go in. We simply cannot afford to waste time and energy by going down the wrong path. But imagine if you get it right and anticipate the future. Imagine knowing the right time to make a move, what to train in and what areas to develop. Imagine seeing yourself in 10 years time and see where you are most successful or even look ahead to see your own future genius idea. Among my clients I have writers and song writers, movie directors and inventors all using FLP to ‘see’ their own future successes and start working on them right now. I would love you to take a peek and see what you come up with. On my website I have a number of free downloads www. futurelifeprogression.com looking at London in ten years time would be a good one. While you are there focus on what youare doing at that time and how it is going? You never know you might just gain a little hindsight into your own future success story.b w w w.thebestyou.co 15
inner you: John la Valle
Influencing Persuasion
#TheBestYou
...each and every day, in all areas of your life, you are in the process of persuading/influencing someone to do something...
John La Valle, President of the Society of NLP, is one of the most sought-after business trainers in the world. Here he gives us an insight into the art of persuasion.
Whatever the reason, this is what happens. And we know that if/when we want to influence/persuade someone, we must have their attention. And that is really the first, and most important thing in any interaction, after making sure that you, yourself, are in your optimal state. If your child, for example, is playing their hen most people consider video game, or they're texting on their the idea of Persuasion and phone at the dinner table (I don't know why Influence, they automatically this would even be acceptable to you), and think: Business and Sales. And, you say to them, "Be sure to finish your homework," and they even respond with, yet, we are engaging in these "OK," all the while playing their video game, activities every day in all interactions with others. Think about it: On the very subtle side, then you can safely expect that they have not gotten the message as you have intended, or if/when you smile at someone, isn't that an encoded in a useful way. attempt to get a response back? If it isn't, And somehow, you even suspect this to be then why are you giving them a smile? On the case, and still don't take the interaction another side, if you are stopped by a police officer for speeding, don't you do all you can further. The same happens with many, many to persuade/influence that person to let you others in many, many different environments. go without a summons? As I have witnessed many times the other So, each and every day, in all areas of your person saying to someone else, "I heard you", they really haven't "listened" to you, meaning, life, you are in the process of persuading/ "message not received". influencing someone to do something: your For years now I have been teaching that spouse, children, boss, friend, neighbour, the first important step after getting into etc. using your entire system of verbal and your own optimal state is to change the nonverbal communications. Consider that each and every one of us other person's state, that is their emotional, goes through our lives thinking of whatever internal, neuro-chemical brain state. we are thinking of, in our own heads most This is quite simply because that state of the time, in our own "trances" or "altered is the one they are in at that time, and states", and while there, we are "self it may not be the best state for them absorbed", and not really paying that much to be in to receive your communication attention to what's outside of our heads. with the intention that you have for that
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communication. Without getting too "technical" about it, it is a matter of changing the other person's neurochemistry if/when it's not their best state for dialog with you. To put this another way, I have encountered many people who are interested in putting other people into what they would call a trance or altered state, when this is the easy part. The real first step is getting them out of their current altered state. Once you can do that, then you can begin with all the other language skills that we teach. b
Find out more at: www.purenlp.com ď‚–Buy Persuasion Engineering by Richard Bandler & John LaValle the book and DVDs from The Best You
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inner you: Matt wingett
#TheBestYou
Matt Wingett discusses some people's energy-draining abilities - and how to counter them.
S
Beware The Emotional Vampire How to identify and handle them.
o, you're buoyed up with enthusiasm and you're ready to take on the world with your big plans and your optimistic attitude. Then you meet that person. The one you know is going to make it all feel so very very wrong. You spend a few minutes with them and you part with no enthusiasm left, just a sense that things aren't as rosy as once you'd hoped, that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence and that actually the world is one big bitter pill wrapped in woes and sorrow. So what happened? Guess what? You just met the Emotional Vampire. For anyone wanting to get on with their lives in an enthusiastic way, the Vamp can be a real headache. At work the Vamp can sap the morale of a team, and in your personal life they can simply stop you living happily.
Identifying the Vamp Unlike traditional vampires, the Emotional Vamp does come out in daytime. However, their glassy eye and down demeanour is often a giveaway. Not always, though. Some Vamps have an initially smiley attitude - it's only when they start indirectly revealing their limiting beliefs and fears that you realise they just aren't someone to spend too much time with. Vamps can be identified by the way they shoot down ideas and suppress free thinking. Very often preoccupied with their own negativity, they are unable to respond to others' ideas and interact in a positive, supportive way. You'll often feel with a Vamp
that you are trying to wade through treacle in conversations, and that you're really not connecting. Think J K Rowling's Dementors, and you're in the right area.
What to do about a Vamp Nowadays, driving a stake through a Vamp's heart is frowned upon in polite society. Other tactics can be broken into three distinct categories: avoidance, deflection and full frontal assault.
Avoidance If you know that someone has a moaning "rainy Sunday afternoon mood" at all times, it's easier to deal with them by not dealing with them at all. Avoidance means they don't get to rain their wet weekend on you. Simply being too busy to engage with a Vamp is as good a tactic as any
Deflection If the Vamp is part of a team you manage and you have to work with them, you can also try deflection. Bounce the Vamp off to run a project separate from the team. This at least frees the team to do other things in a more positive atmosphere. Identifying two Vamps and getting them to work together is also worth considering. Whatever you do, keep them away from interactions with the public. I recently saw two young tourists walk into a lovely hotel only to be met by a Vamp at reception. I watched them visibly sink as the Vamp spoke, until they walked out, slightly
Recommended reading An Insider's Guide to Robert Anton Wilson
Robert Anton Wilson This work provides a fair and balanced look at Dr Robert Anton Wilson's writing and its relationship with the "Kaballah", "Finnegans Wake", "General Semantics”, etc. 18 w w w.thebestyou.co
Nowadays, driving a stake through a Vamp's heart is frowned upon in polite society. Other tactics can be broken into three distinct categories: avoidance, deflection and full frontal assault. depressed and intent on finding another place to stay.
Full Frontal Assault If you are skilled in keeping a positive frame of mind and you want to try turning your Vamp around, then there are several ways to do it. Very often a Vamp will have a passion, and you need to get them talking about it. You can use NLP to anchor positive emotions and get them to revisit those emotions on a regular basis. Be warned though. For many Vamps, the world is all dust and ashes, so subtlety may not work. In this case, you could simply be clear that their behaviour is unacceptable. Give them examples of how their behaviour affects others. An appeal to reason will work for some.
Deeper Issues Do remember that the Emotional Vampire is often someone with personal problems affecting their mood. Some Vamps are Vamps because they suffer from undiagnosed depression. This requires real, professional help to set them right and find the happiness inside. That said, it is also your job to protect yourself. Some friendships and relationships can be toxic. It's your judgement to decide which are worth keeping and which are not. Finally - Good luck. And remember: a Vampire hates sunshine, so keep a bright sunny smile with you at all times of day and night! b
The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out at www.thebestyou.co
No Matter What: 9 Steps to Living the Life You Love
Lisa Nichols Lisa Nichols knows first hand that the strongest muscle in the human body is the heart, as she herself is living proof.
Tai Chi: A Practical Approach to the Ancient Chinese Movement for Health and Well-being Angus Clark A practical approach to the ancient Chinese movement for health and well-being, Tai Chi.
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Enjoy life
Laughter, sport, humour, travel, love, dedication, joy - these add the sparkle that makes life worth living. Climbing a mountain, giving to others, starting a family, embracing life... What are the things you wish you had done, but haven’t yet? Life is no rehearsal - find ways to enjoy it, whenever you can!
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Keeping the Vision Janet Gray's amazing triumph over adversity
Tiger's Roar
We look at what puts fire in Tiger Woods's belly
More Than Just Chefs
Nia Jones on whether there's more to cooking shows than food
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Enjoy Life: Dr janet Gray, MBE
Dr Janet Gray, MBE
Keeping The Vision One woman's amazing journey from blindness to world class sport - and her return from near-death.
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hen Janet Gray was 14, she was told she could lose her eyesight, just like her brother and her father. "Though it was genetic, it was under control. Then a blow to the eye socket exacerbated the disease," she says in a matter-of-fact way. "Surgeons fought hard to save my sight, but their attempts were in vain." Janet had lived a happy childhood in Belfast, in which she had always been sporty and outgoing. Now she was faced with a very different life. "I tried to believe that once the surgery had settled down my eyesight would come back," she says. "When 22 w w w.thebestyou.co
I realised it wouldn't, it was a massive kick in the teeth. I was 21 years old and I went from being a confident person to being timorous and vulnerable. Even moving around my own home I was tripping over things." From the stress, she dropped from 8 stone to 5 stone 10. But bit by bit she regained her confidence. "You have to accept your illness first, before you can move on," she says. She took to using her white stick and just taking the bus to go shopping was a major breakthrough. From here, she set up a swimming club for the blind - a revelation for Janet because she'd believed that sport for
her was "out the window". Then her husband asked if she wanted to come along while he went waterskiing. "It was the first time back on the water for him after injury," she says. "Getting in the boat was great fun, but then he suggested I try skiing. I'd never skied before. "My husband, Paul, put two ropes out the back of the boat and skied along side me, talking me through what I had to do." It was a turning point in her life. She joined the local Meteor water ski club, started training and learned to slalom and trick. Then in 1997 she was selected to ski internationally by the Irish Water Ski
Federation for the European Disabled Water Ski Championships. She also competed against sighted skiers to raise her skills and soon found herself scooping gold medals at competitions around the world. "When you beat sighted skiers, it’s pretty cool," she says, with real satisfaction. After winning the 1999 World Championships, Janet got full funding for her skiing. In 2001 and 2003 she won all four titles in the World Championships, breaking the world record for each discipline. In the Florida Open she won in both the men’s and women’s categories. She was the only blind competitor. Recognition soon came. She was Northern Ireland Sports Personality of the Year 4 times, Northern Ireland Woman of the Year and she received an MBE. Then in 2004 disaster struck. Going out on the water with an unfamiliar crew in Florida, they mistimed a turn and whipped her into the vertical of a ski ramp. "All I can remember is this massive impact and going 'What the - ?' Suddenly I was gone." She was unconscious in Intensive Care for three weeks and cardiac arrested four times. She had broken and dislocated her left elbow, foot and ankle and snapped her thumb tendons. On the right side she had broken and dislocated her hip and pelvis, crushed the head of the femur, broken her patella and had rib and crush injuries. Worst of all, her face was "wiped out". Her nose, eye sockets and jaw were smashed and she lost part of her skull and teeth. Her husband was told by doctors to contact the undertakers before flying out to her. Yet somehow, Janet survived. Transferred to the trauma unit at Belfast's Royal Victoria Hospital, she was told she would never walk again. "I refused to believe it. The only thing that wasn't broken was my right arm and hand. There was a clipboard and pen. I got the attention of one of the consultants and I wrote: THIS IS TEMPORARY BELIEVE ME and did a massive underscore. "I may have lost my sight, but I never lost my vision. I was damned if I was going to be blind and in a wheelchair and totally dependent again." Janet fought harder than she'd ever fought before. Slowly, she learned to use her crutches and get rid of her wheelchair. Then she asked the surgeons to remove the metalwork from her body. The recovery period for this surgery was 18 months. One day she was with her childhood idol, Dame Mary Peters, visiting her old coach, when he suggested she go back on the water. "When Mary Peters saw me in the wetsuit, she went ballistic. She said: "You wicked girl, you mustn’t do this. the risk is too big and
have you told Paul?!’ Nevertheless, Mary Peters came out in the boat. "It was a heck of a risk. My bones were hollow and soft. My legs were shaking like a leaf - but this was my one chance to see if I could get on my ski." When I dropped into the water, I thought, "What if I don't get up?" but I pushed the thought away and shouted "hit it!" I tootled around the lake blowing kisses at the boat. We were all in tears. It was very emotional." Janet soon began to compete again and took five Gold medals at the 2007 World Disabled Water Ski Championships in Townsville, Australia. Janet has now pulled back from international competition while she continues to have surgery. She coaches and mentors Paralympics athletes, and intends to do the same with Olympic ones. She gives inspirational talks and continues to help disabled kids through various programmes. "I tell them to build their confidence bit by bit. It's finding out what you can do that enables you to push the boundaries to do something else." b
You have to accept your illness first, before you can move on.
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Enjoy Life: Dr Stephen Simpson
#TheBestYou
We look at what puts fire in Tiger Woods’s belly
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one, unleashing peak performance. The secret of Woods’s success is that he appears to be able to enter the peak performance mindset known as the zone, almost at will. The key to enter the zone is meditation. The best example I have seen of an athlete describing the zone is from Woods. He uses phrases such as: • • • • • • • • • • •
Eldrick Woods is more commonly known as Tiger Woods, or just Tiger. He is an American professional golfer, whose fame spreads far beyond the narrow world of golf. Until recently he was the highest paid athlete in the world, although he has now slipped slightly to second place. Elite performance coach Dr. Stephen Simpson examines the possible secrets of Woods’s success. In this extract from his latest book, The $447 Million Secrets Of Sport, Dr. Simpson proposes that Woods has discovered the priceless secret of how to find the zone almost at will. The zone is the home of peak performance, also known as flow. Perhaps you could use a bit more flow in your life too?
G
olfers are judged by how many Majors they win, and there are four every year. Tiger collected his first Major in 1997 just a year after turning professional, and soon after was ranked as the best golfer in the world too. He retained this position for most of the next 13 years. To date Woods has won 14 Majors, and only Jack Nicklaus with 18 Majors has won more. Woods has many strengths and one of them is his sheer physical presence. His competitors speak openly of being intimated when playing against him. Woods projects an aura of invincibility, and so often luck runs unerringly in his favour. Another strength is his enormous physical power and his ability to hit the ball huge distances. This power comes from his intensive training, physical condition, and superb coordination. If players wanted to
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be able to compete with Woods one of the things they had to do was to match his training programmes. Golfers were until recently not noted for their athleticism. Another example of Woods’s mental strength is his ability to close out in the Majors. When he has been outright leader, or sharing the lead at the start of the final round, he has won fourteen times, and only lost once. Woods's mother is a Buddhist, and so Woods was raised as a Buddhist too. He believes this has been the central foundation of his phenomenal development as a player and a person, not withstanding his recent difficulties both on and off the golf course. Meditation is a central foundation of Buddhism, and so Woods would have learnt this skill from an early age. Meditation can be used in many different ways, but arguably its main benefit is that of facilitating control of
the mind and the emotions. This is a priceless skill for any athlete to possess, and is the gateway to the zone. This is where mind, body, and soul combine as
Blackout moments Entrenched in the moment My subconscious takes over I don’t remember the shot until the ball leaves It is a weird thing Things slow down The last few holes take forever I don’t hear anything I am so involved in that particular moment I get out of the way I was sitting back and watching my body
If we did not know that Woods was talking about golf we would think he must be on drugs. He is – these are amongst the most powerful drugs known. They are not bought on the street, but manufactured within our brain. They include the endorphins, so named because their chemical structure is almost identical to morphine. However endorphins have none of morphine’s dangerous sideeffects, and are a powerful source of health, happiness, and control the gateway to peak performance. So how can you find the zone in your life? A good place to start is where Woods started, through meditation. In a future article I will explain how to take the first steps. In the meantime buy a guided meditation audiobook or CD. There are plenty to choose from. Listen to it for about 20 minutes a day, and after a month you will notice changes, and a new calmness. Those closest to you will notice it more. I wish you good luck, and look forward to hearing your results! b
Tiger Stats Tour wins
PGA Tour 74 (2nd all time) European Tour 38 (3rd all time) Japan Golf Tour 2 Asian Tour 1 PGA Tour of Australasia 1 Other 16
Major Championships
Masters Tournament Won: 1997, 2001, 2002, 2005 U.S. Open Won: 2000, 2002, 2008 The Open Championship Won: 2000, 2005, 2006 PGA Championship Won: 1999, 2000, 2006, 2007
Meditation is a central foundation of Buddhism, and so Woods would have learnt this skill from an early age. Meditation can be used in many different ways, but arguably its main benefit is that of facilitating control of the mind and the emotions.
Source: www.tigerwoods.com
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Enjoy Life: Nia Jones
#TheBestYou
Jamie Oliver
Cooking shows are the most popular programmes on television. Nia Jones looks at whether this culinary entertainment is just a tasty treat or something more ...
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More Than Just Chefs 28 w w w.thebestyou.co
ooking has been deconstructed and demystified in recent years, it isn’t just about food anymore; it’s about lifestyle and the knowledge that food is fashionable and inspires a certain kudos. The trends fed to us by celebrity cooks have become a shrine of authority; can they really show us how to find personal contentment by mastering the domestic cooking skills and make our lives better beyond the stove? Here are the five most popular TV cooks who have the greatest influence on society and the way we live.
Nigel Slater
Television Shows: The Naked Chef, Jamie at Home, Jamie's Great Britain, Jamie's 30 Minute Meals, Jamie's 15 Minute Meals A big hit with foodies Jamie Oliver has established himself as an unpretentious, young and funky chef; advocating fresh local produce and ingredients. His wife and 4 children have played a large role in his social image. Apart from his popular and simple family orientated cooking Jamie has a platform to share his food revolution philosophy. Opening a cookery school for under privileged young people with his restaurant Fifteen, Jamie Oliver has used his celebrity to educate and pioneer positive changes, his campaigns have included reviewing the quality of school dinners, childhood obesity and the issues surrounding the lack of healthy food education and skills within our society, few have been unsuccessful.
Nigella Lawson
His Shows: Dish of the Day, Simple Cooking, Simple Suppers
Television Shows: Nigella Bites, Nigella's Christmas Kitchen, Nigella Express, Nigellissima
Nigel Slater began being interested in food at age 9 after his mother passed away. Studying catering and being an apprentice chef in various places including The Savoy, he eventually became a food writer and editor. Nigel Slater’s style is very much about comforting, wholesome and uncomplicated healthy dishes for busy people. Growing and using fruit and vegetables from his own garden, he encourages people to “think out of the box” when trying a recipe, seeing it as merely a guideline and to veer away from rigid instructions. His cooking is fastidious yet leisurely, he embraces the use of leftovers to impress, is giving useful and practical tips to promote positive frugality among those wishing to eat well and cheaply.
Nigella Lawson is hailed as a ‘Domestic Goddess’ and has never trained as a chef or worked as a cook in any professional capacity, her love of food and cooking was ignited as a child learning from her mother. Anything goes regarding Nigella’s cookery style, cooking what she enjoys to eat; her recipes are really geared towards people who have a love of food, indulgence and extravagance in a simplistic form. Blending beauty with a quirky intelligence; her image is one of flirtation and gives us a sense of food not only being about social history but firm family history nostalgia. Nigella has had her fair share of tragedy, losing her mother, younger sister and first husband to cancer she presents food as part of emotional comfort, memories and celebrating shared pleasure; which makes her extremely endearing.
Gordon Ramsay Television Shows: Gordon's Great Escape, Gordon Ramsay's Ultimate Cookery Course Gordon Ramsay has a reputation as the bête noir of gastronomy, his background hailing from fine dining and Michelin Stars. But at his core Gordon is a staunch follower of light simple food, beautifully cooked. Sourcing the best and freshest local ingredients, he wants to show us we can all cook. Gordon’s image is of an aggressive potty mouthed perfectionist who doesn’t suffer fools gladly, even celebrities. What has inspired many about Gordon Ramsay’s style is that his inspiration lies in his heart and his genuine passion for what he does. As well as being a savvy business brain his trademark wrath is only displayed by frustration, taking his expertise around the UK and America to trouble shoot failing restaurants.
Ina Garten aka Barefoot Contessa Barefoot Contessa, From Martha's Kitchen: Ina Garten's Kitchen Clambake Ina Garten hails from the east coast of America and cooking was merely an interest to her, she opened a gourmet food shop called ‘Barefoot Contessa’, supplied private catering and the rest is history. Her surroundings are the exclusive superrich playground of The Hamptons, but what makes Ina popular is that her reputation is based on recipes that actually work and are easy to administrate. A seemingly warm presence, her style exudes a whiff of mother hen, making you feel welcome and cosy. Her methods produce stylish delicious, yet effortless looking food. She doesn’t offer a comprehensive party guide, but her recipes should help you make any gathering impressive with a touch of class regardless of status.
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The Ultimate Introduction to NLP Richard Bandler As co-creator of NLP, Richard Bandler has found a new and extremely readable way to give you an introduction to NLP. In this book, he has teamed up with Italian NLP Master Trainer Alessio Roberti and co-founder of the Irish Institute of NLP Owen Fitzpatrick to show you the fundamentals of NLP and how it can really make a difference in your life. The book tells the tale of one man's personal change as he attends his training in NLP. The book helps readers understand the remarkable principles of NLP and invites you to benefit from its skills, too. The story is simple, yet profound. Along the way, the reader encounters insights into NLP and gets a working knowledge of the subject, while being entertained. Richard Bandler has developed highly-effective tools over the past 35 years that have helped millions around the world, and this book enables you to understand them clearly and use them. It's a powerful read, and a very different approach to NLP - in contrast to the many manuals on the market now.
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Goal Mapping: The Success Pack Brian Mayne If you've been wondering how to kickstart your life, and achieve your goals, this 3 CD pack is an amazing tool. Brian Mayne is one of the greats of Personal Development. His system for setting and achieving goals has helped thousands of people, and he gives life-changing talks on his work. The 3 CD Goal Mapping Success Pack gives the listener powerful in-depth information, practical exercises, examples and illustrations to guide you through the entire process of creating your own Goal Map. With Brian's friendly and matter-of-fact guidance, you'll get there - and enjoy more success. So, what do you get? When you listen to this CD set, you will understand why setting goals on a regular basis is so important, and how to condition your unconscious to meet your success goals. Brian gives clear instruction on how to be aware of the way you create your goals and what enables you to bring your goals to reality. Brian also gives fantastic insights into the power of creative visualisation, and how to identify your areas of excellence. All of this is aimed at one thing: showing you not only how to create your Goal Map, but also how to follow it to its fruition. You also receive a 50-page workbook. In all, it's a really useful pack that has made a difference in many people's lives already.
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Confessions of a Conjuror Derren Brown Derren Brown is an extraordinary figure of the early 21st Century. Enigmatic, dazzlingly brilliant as a magician and also a superbly clever psychologist, he is also hilariously funny. His TV shows leave people gasping at the audacity of what he attempts, or questioning their own deeply-held beliefs. In this book, Derren goes back to the activity that brought him to prominence in the first place, his ability to conjure magnificently. The book opens with the conjurer about to perform a classic "effect" with cards while working as a restaurant conjuror. It is the job that Derren Brown himself did in the 1990s, and in many ways Derren is revisiting his old self. He doesn't like himself, either. That is quite clear. Confessions of a Conjuror is far more than a book about card tricks. Throughout the book, Derren tracks his own thought processes, giving us through the medium of the card trick, the most extraordinary insight into his past, the way his mind works, psychology, comedy, the best use of parmesan cheese and much more. At times hilarious and at others disturbing in its self loathing, the book is unique in the way it deals with one man's subjective consciousness. If you have ever wanted to find out what drives the amazing on-screen presence that is Derren Brown, this is a must-have. A fascinating read that reveals so much about this genuinely intriguing figure.
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The New Money Masters Anthony Robbins The New Money Masters comes from the brain of one of those masters of Personal Development, Anthony "Tony" Robbins. A series of DVDs, booklets and CDs, it lays out a means for you to get in charge of your finances. Along the way, Robbins introduces you to a series of people who made it. They came from the most humble beginnings, but learned not only how to handle money, but how to become generators of cash. Each has the most extraordinary story to tell. Robbins's financial adviser Jeff Walker made US $1 million in a day. Frank Kern made US $23 million over a similar period. Here, Robbins shows you how. What Robbins gives here is a blueprint for financial success. He lays out the principles of money-making and gives a series of connected insights into what is the essential "how to" course on money-making. If you are serious about money and wanting to get ahead in life, this course is well worth the investment. He even offers a money-back guarantee for those who don't find it useful. It's an investment that might well pay for itself many hundreds of times over.
If you are serious about money and wanting to get ahead in life, this course is well worth the investment. 38 w w w.thebestyou.co
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Who Moved My Cheese? Spencer Johnson One of the absolute classics of the self-help world, Who Moved My Cheese uses a series of parables to highlight two particular mentalities: one that sees life as an adventure and the challenge of change as exciting, the other that sees life as frightening and which is unable to adapt. The central message of this book is extremely simple. The mentality that you choose can either interpret a change in your circumstances as a "disaster" or an "opportunity". The story starts with two mice who are at a feeding station in a maze. One day, they discover the cheese they were being fed has gone, and they go off in hunt of a new place where cheese may be found. Also living in the maze are two miniature humans who also live on cheese. The human response to change is very different from that of the mice. They blame each other and blame the world for the fact that there is no more cheese. They argue, and expect things to be the same as it was before. Eventually, one of these characters goes off in hunt of the cheese, having a series of learning experiences and adventures on the way. The other stays put, and can't even be cajoled into trying a different cheese when the adventurer finds it. How this story resolves itself reveals truths about two very different mentalities to change. This is why it has been one of the most popular books of the last 20 years. A slender volume designed to make you think!
A slender volume designed to make you think!
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LIve love Legacy: Jessica Huie
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Love Sees No Colour Entrepreneur Jessica Huie has worked for 10 years at the pinnacle of the British media, including seven years under the wing of PR mogul Max Clifford. She's worked with the likes of Simon Cowell and Peter Jones and now at the age of just 32 runs the London Branch of Forward Ladies, a support organisation for women in business. The Best You find out how she started out, and what gave her the idea for her latest venture, Colourblind Cards.
Watch Jessica huie discuss with The best you's bernardo Moya how she is achieving her dreams. 44 w w w.thebestyou.co
J
essica Huie grew up in London, where her first dream was of being a ballerina. "In those days you had to be shorter than the male ballerinas dancers," she says with a smile, "so that was out of that window by the time I was 11." After that, she decided to be a journalist. But when she fell pregnant at the age of 17, it looked like her hopes would be dashed. "Initially my dad was really quite devastated," she recalls. "He'd worked all his life to give us opportunities. All the extracurricular piano and ballet lessons, that cost lots of money for us. So he was very disappointed." But under the influence of a mid-wife Jessica went back to college and her parents' belief that she had thrown her life away began to change. Jessica did intensive courses at college and went on to go to university. She was determined to prove that single mothers weren't the scourge of society, as the pervading message seemed to be at the time. At this time, too, came her big break when she was 18. "My very first job in the media world was working for Connie Filippello," she recalls. "One of my part time jobs was working at a hairdresser's. I was washing this lady's hair and you have to make small talk and she said ... she's a real large diva-ish, wonderful character and she said, 'Darling you are too intelligent to be working here. Come and work for me'." The woman was a publicist who worked for George Michael and Versace. After leaving university, Jessica went on to work for the BBC and numerous other organisations, before going to Max Clifford. While she was working for the publicist, the idea for Colourblind Cards came to her. "I was looking for a card for my daughter," she recalls. "She was going through this stage where she wanted to look life everything that she wasn't, and I wanted a card to represent her. She was seven, she has gorgeous curly, brown hair, but she wanted long straight hair like Barbie. So I went looking in the card
stores for a little black princess, and just realised there was a complete absence of anything representing the society we live in, which is probably the most multi-cultural city in the world." Jessica realised that it was really important that kids have access to images which represent them. She says: "We're bombarded, particularly girls, with ideals of beauty all the time, many of which are really unattainable and unhealthy. I wanted to create something which would say beauty comes in all guises and you're beautiful just as you are. That's kind of the ethos behind the range. On a commercial level it just seemed like a crazy oversight, considering the market and I came up with the idea of Colourblind Cards there and then."
We're bombarded, particularly girls, with ideals of beauty all the time, many of which are really unattainable and unhealthy Jessica started the business in her lunchtimes while working for Max Clifford, doing her emails in the evenings. She carried on for two years in this way, as the business began to grow. She then went on to set up her own PR company, but kept Colorblind Cards "ticking over" as she established her business. "Recently I re-evaluated it, and I'm spending a lot more time and focus now on Colorblind. We have a wonderful position, we have a really strong following and people love the brand and love what we're doing. Which is wonderful." The cards show a very strong mixture of multi-ethnic images, using real people to celebrate birthdays, Christmas
and so on. Alongside the cards are other gifts, such as mugs, magnets and baby-grows, and you can also personalise your cards with the name you want. The cards sell in the UK, South Africa and in the US, as well as Barbados and Bermuda. They are stocked by many independent retailers, and can also be bought from the website, colorblindcards.com. For anyone wishing to find a card that has something a little bit different and that is right for them, Colorblind Cards are certainly worth considering. Jessica continues to work hard, expanding her business interests and also running Forward Ladies in London, in order to help women entrepreneurs. Her efforts have won her recognition from the highest places, including a visit to Number 10. So what does she hope for the future? "I'd like to be the market leader globally for multicultural greeting cards. It's a real step forward that people can walk into the High Street and see black faces on greeting card shelves. I want to spread that globally. It's not about race, it's not about exclusivity. It's about inclusivity. We're all one people ... we're a human race and I'm trying to create something which is all-encompassing. We've got lots of plans." And how would she like to be remembered?"As someone who helped, I guess," she smiles. b
Jessica Huie At A Glance • Became pregnant at 17 • Moved out of home with her baby • Did intensive course to get her A-Levels • Studied a degree in journalism • Was approached to work with Max Clifford PR, where she worked with top names • Set up her own PR firm and began Colourblind Cards • Has won awards for being a young entrepreneur, including an invitation to Number 10 Downing Street w w w.thebestyou.co 45
LIve love Legacy: janet Murray
#TheBestYou
Janet Murray, author of Divorced But Not Desperate, discusses how you help your children manage the stress and anxiety of divorce & separation.
A guide to protecting kids through divorce
P
erhaps one of the biggest reasons my clients give me for staying in an unhappy relationship is the fear of what a separation will ‘do’ to their kids. So many of them watched their own parents separate as children and swore blind that they would never do that to their own kids… and are absolutely heartbroken to discover that they can’t keep that promise. Until your children are grown up and are able to see you as ‘people’ as well as ‘parents’ they’re always going to want you to either stay together or ‘get back together’. I’m not trying to guilt trip you here, just being honest about what a big deal this is for your kids, and for you. The good news is that there is a lot you can do to make the separation process easier on your children. Even if your own parents didn’t handle it perfectly (who does!), it doesn’t mean it can’t be done well. In my eBook Divorced But Not Desperate I go into depth on some of the more practical as well as emotional strategies you can implement to make this time easier on your children. However, for now I just wanted to share something positive with you: The resilience and coping skills you teach your children during this time of transition will benefit them not just now, but for the rest of their lives. You don’t need to be a therapist to help your children with stress. Perhaps the most important skill you can teach them during this time is that stress is something that can be managed. That it’s a part of life, and not some
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big scary monster. Imagine how different your life would have been had you learned stressmanagement techniques as a child! Some stress-busting techniques for children: Encourage and help your children to ‘name’ their feelings, where in their body they feel them, and then to ‘breathe’ into those feelings/places and imagine breathing the difficult feelings ‘out’. Suggest to them that stress is just ‘stuck’ energy and that going for a run, talking it out, writing it out, having a cry or getting a hug can be enough to ‘unstick’ it.
If you’re just standing in the kitchen, grim-faced knocking back a bottle of wine, or sitting in front of the TV comfort eating, or ranting at your ex in front of them, what are you teaching them?
Allow them to talk about their fears – don’t make any subject ‘off limits’ – never tell them that their fears are ‘silly’. Children are incredibly literal-minded and take such offthe-cuff statements as ‘facts’. Teach them the difference between ‘fantasy’ and ‘reality’ and remind them regularly that they didn’t cause your separation, and that it’s not their fault. Encourage them to use their creativity to express how they feel about the impending separation – often children can paint, draw or use puppets to express their anxieties with a clarity that is breathtaking, even if they don’t have the language to talk about it yet. Getting it “out” can really help them. Show them how to write down what they are worried about, and encourage them to think through several different ways that they might deal with those worries. You are their best role model for how to manage stress If you’re just standing in the kitchen, grimfaced knocking back a bottle of wine, or sitting in front of the TV comfort eating, or ranting at your ex in front of them, what are you teaching them? If so maybe now is the time to upgrade your stress management tools so that you minimize the impact of the divorce on them. Right now, I get that that this may not feel like much of a silver lining, but believe me that teaching your kids how to identify, manage and bounce back from stressful times are skills they will rely on for a lifetime. b Find out more from Janet Murray’s website: www.haveapositivedivorce.com
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Feel & look good: Sophie Keller
LOVE IS GREAT, LOVE IS KIND, LOVE IS ALL! Each February comes Valentines Day. Best-selling Happiness author Sophie Keller says the day is time for both singles and couples to think about what love means to them ...
If you're single and looking for love, remember, there are 7 billion people on the planet and that means there's someone out there for you. No matter what your age, the cards are always shuffling.
who respond to those issues in some way. Then, when you change and move on, if their attraction to you was based on something that wasn't really you in the first place, you're going to leave them behind.
It’s important to enjoy being single. Some people think their life will start when they meet somebody. Instead of thinking in that way, fill your time with fun things that you're passionate about. Enjoy doing courses, classes and hobbies. Go out with people and have a great time. After all, you won't be single forever. Make the most of the freedom single life offers!
Make sure you’re evolving while you’re single, do personal development trainings, go to therapy if you feel you need it. Do whatever you need to transform as a person, because the more you drop your masks and armour, the more likely you are to attract the perfect person.
Be confident about waiting. There's no rush. Take your time to improve and develop. Because if you have unresolved issues, you're going to magnetize people to you 48 w w w.thebestyou.co
Find your passions and follow those in classes too. It might be photography or art or languages, or anything else. It's not that you're filling in time while you wait for the person of your dreams. These new experiences also make you attractive. Your
emotional state is better when you've actively engaged. You're more interesting and sexier. You meet someone and say, "I've trained in this and I went and saw this" - and they see a passion for life, a passion for learning. They don't have to be into the same things, but they see the love of life - and that's always something to respond to! When you meet someone who's right for you, it's like you've come home. Every cell in your body will feel that this is the right person to continue the next stages of your life journey with. So make sure that every cell says "yes" before you commit more deeply. Once you're in that loving relationship, one of the keys to making it work is to LISTEN to each other. If they're mad with you, there's
always a reason why. If you really want to be with this person until you’re both 90, then both of you need to make sure that you acknowledge each other’s desires. The key is to bring out the best in each other and as long as you do that you can go the distance. Make sure you do little things for each other. Make them a cup of tea, or rub their feet, or buy them chocolates out of the blue. If you want someone to do something for you - do it for them. Show them your love. You’re not ‘working’ at your relationship, so to speak, as work can have a heavy connotation for some people. I like to say that you’re ‘playing’ at it. So keep your life varied. Go to a tango class together. Watch movies in bed. Go for a bike ride to the beach. That's the sort of playfulness that will keep you together. Remember, you can change someone's behaviour, like asking them to put the toilet seat down or getting them to wash up a bit more, that sort of thing, but you cannot change who they are. What you've got is what you've got.
#TheBestYou
Love is difficult to define, and it's true that some people become dependent on someone, and think this is love. But love feels different from everything that's gone before. When you meet someone who's right for you, it's like you've come home.
Make the right choice. My advice is to go for someone who's really sweet natured, open to growing, with a wicked sense of humour. Remember what I said about the bigger picture? Later in life, you'll appreciate those qualities. And obviously, going for someone you're sexually attracted to is important, too - but make sure kind, open and fun are on the list! You will go through ups and downs together and a good sense of humour can really pull you through! To sum up - enjoy life and find someone to enjoy it with. It really is that simple! If you want to find out more about Sophie Keller and the 'How Happy is' books & brand go to www.howhappyis.com You can buy Sophie Keller's How Happy is books from The Best You.
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Recommended reading The Riches Within
Dr John Demartini This book is for people who intuitively sense that they have within their innermost being a great, buried treasure.
The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out at www.thebestyou.co
Dare to Connect
Susan Jeffers The insight and tools we need to create a sense of belonging everywhere we go.
Edward de Bono's Lateral Thinking: A Textbook of Creativity
Edward de Bono In schools we're taught to meet problems head-on: what Edward de Bono calls 'vertical thinking'. This works well in simple situations - but we are at a loss when this approach fails. w w w.thebestyou.co 49
THE BEST
YOU
Feel & look good
Feeling good about yourself makes the joy shine from your eyes and your skin. It makes others respond to you in new ways, and it gives you a whole new outlook on life. Looking good draws others to you and enhances your lives in ways you haven't yet imagined. It's great to find new ways to feel and look good now!
Life Without Limits
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Nutrition Secrets To Create A Better Life Angela Steel on getting the best out of food
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Dressing for Success Fiona Thompson gives sartorial tips to impress
›› Contact: info@thebestgroupinternational.co ‹‹ The Best You is the perfect promotion place for authors, speakers, trainers, publishers and businesses wanting to connect with readers interested in personal development and lifestyle.
10 Tips for a Happy Bride Michele Paradise on having a great wedding day
Tell us your inspirational story
Inspire others with your personal story of change. Email us at info@thebestgroupinternational.co
Feel & look good: Angela Steel
Nutrition Secrets To Create A Better Life Nutritionist Angela Steel gives us insight into getting the best out of our food ...
#TheBestYou
Detoxing
Flushing the toxins out not only made my body feel cleansed, alive and vibrant, it also removed the dull veil from my thinking. Suddenly, my mind felt clear, full of energy and inspiration. Positivity pouring out, keeping me awake at night, filling me with huge energy for new projects. The seeds of where I am now, 8 years on (after a complete career change, new sense of purpose and confidence). I still look back on this often and think: “Wow, if it hadn’t been for this single decision, my life could be very different (and far less fulfilling)”
Why detox?
So much of our food chain is toxic nowadays. In fact it’s common to find residues of at least 5 persistent toxic chemicals in a single food. These chemicals interact with receptors in our body in ways we don’t yet even comprehend fully. One thing that has been established in studies is the link between these poisons and obesity. We know they mess up our metabolism and find protection in our fat cells (which can explain resistant flab!). Pretty good reasons to ditch them, don’t you think?
How do you go about it?
You can detox in many ways, from just cleaning up your diet of chemicals and processed foods to something more hard hitting but occasional like fasting. Certainly if you want to improve your life in 7 days, then swapping a beach holiday for a fasting retreat in a place where you’ll be looked after and exposed to bucket loads of eye opening information about food could be the best thing you ever did. Some smaller changes you can make on a daily basis:
Full Healthy Breakfast
genetics, or age. Wrong! There are many factors that influence it, but they are not all outside of our control. The food we eat is one of them. A very simple way of explaining what metabolism means, is ‘how good we are at using up the nutrients from our food to produce energy’, and in this respect, blood sugar is really important. We’ve all felt the effects of low blood sugars, when the brain struggles to function, we get cravings and can feel very angry and negative no matter what the circumstances really are. My opinion is that 90% of people in our western society struggle with blood sugar highs and lows, wasting hours of effectiveness due to poor concentration as a result (just 2 hours a day is the equivalent of 91 full 8 hour workdays over a year!) And how much irritation, frustration and relationship strain could be attributed to low blood sugar levels I wonder? Can you see how understanding better metabolism control could change your life?
How do you do it? Simple. The results? Your body gets so much better at burning fat, laying down muscle, producing energy and you become a lot happier.
A glass of warm water with fresh lemon every morning before breakfast. Drinking at least 2 litres of filtered water every day. Going for at least 8 portions of organic fruit and veg a day. Minimising animal products. Eliminating processed foods (especially those with ingredients you wouldn’t keep in your kitchen!)
Looking after your metabolism I often come across people who think that a good metabolism is just down to luck, or 52 w w w.thebestyou.co
Always have a good breakfast, preferably within 30 minutes of getting up. Have good sources of protein with each meal – pizza with some cheese on top is not good enough! Replace any white, refine carbohydrates, with denser, wholegrain versions as the fibre slows down the release of glucose into our system. Try to eliminate sugar completely Avoid caffeine.
Keep your nutrient bank account topped up Calories don’t mean a thing if you don’t consider where they come from. Some calories nourish you, whereas others tax your organs and deplete you. ‘Empty calories’ (like a white bread roll) cost you nutrients – imagine what’s needed to
metabolise and process this food – and yet doesn’t contribute in any positive way to the bank balance.
What nutrients?
So many nutrients need to come from your diet – the body can’t magic them: essential amino acids (proteins), essential fats (like omega 3s), vitamins and minerals, and the list goes on. Think of it like this: every forkful you put into your mouth is an opportunity to make a healthy deposit. Too much debt and you end up ill. It’s as simple as that.
Why so important?
It might not be an out and out illness – yet. It could just be feeling below par, or a bit low, or very prone to catching colds. All too often treated as a deficiency in caffeine, antidepressants, or paracetamol. Many people suffer for years from symptoms which in reality could be rectified simply through diet. Years of research have shown links between schizophrenia and vitamin B3 deficiency, numerous studies show the connection between essential fats and depression, and
the chemicals that produce motivation – well frankly without the right types of protein, we would just be sat on the sofa all day long. And I see people improving in so many ways when their diet changes, this is really the giveaway sign that the way they were feeling was just due to nutrient budgeting issues! So... As lifelong learners, we study avidly the methods at our disposal to create a better life for ourselves. More motivation, more positive feelings, more success in our personal and professional lives... We should never forget that a good nutritious meal is one of them. b
Carrot Juice & Fresh Carrots
Free Download The 7 Weight Loss Mistakes And How To Avoid Them" Download Angela Steel Free Report
w w w.thebestyou.co 53
NLP TRAINING
Feel & look good: Fiona Thompson
Dressing For Success
with
Richard Bandler in
Fiona Thompson
London
Fiona Thompson runs StyleSparrow.com, an online resource for women wanting answers to their real-life styling questions. Here, the former banker and prime ministerial advisor gives us some advice on getting the edge in business through fashion.
Introduction to NLP
10 th May 2013
Licensed Practitioner of NLPTM
11th - 17th May 2013
Licensed Master Practitioner of NLPTM
O
ne of the most common queries we see on StyleSparrow are questions about work. We all want our clothes to express who we are as a professional. Mostly though, we want to be confident enough in our outfit to be able to ignore it. Then we can focus solely on doing our best work: and that is the real value of dressing for success. So what are some of the principles we use to find a really successful work wardrobe? First, work out what impression you want to make. Is it conservative and highly trustworthy? Is it creative and innovative? Is it approachable and warm? Reject any piece that doesn’t contribute to that impression. Other people use what we choose to wear as a way to understand who we say we are. As little as one anomaly – scuffed shoes; crumpled shirt, pilled jumper will scream out, even if the rest of your outfit works well. We all intuitively look for leading indicators when
we meet someone – don’t let yours suggest you are sloppy or careless. Second, keep your cornerstone pieces neutral. There is a place for breaking boundaries, but it usually isn’t at work. That said, what constitutes neutral will depend on your workplace. A two piece suit may be neutral in an office environment, but it may not be in a teaching or caring environment. Really obvious statements in your cornerstone pieces (such as a very obvious pinstripe or a neon colour in a jacket) can easily overshadow the work you do or grate when worn frequently. Instead, inject personality into secondary pieces that are changed frequently (a belt or cufflinks) especially if you can find a signature style that reinforces your brand. You’ll know you have it right when what you wear reinforces your professional persona. Drop by StyleSparrow if you’d like help along the way! b
5th - 13 th October 2013
Book today on + 44 (0) 845 260 7930 www.nlptraining.com | info@nlptraining.com
NLPLIFE TRAINING DIFFERENTLY… MAKING A DIFFERENCE
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10 Tips for a Happy Bride
THE BEST
Wealth & Riches
YOU
Wealth [n] "happiness," also "prosperity in abundance of possessions or riches" from Middle English "wele", meaning "well-being". Riches [n] "valued possessions, money, property," Making money and bringing greater wealth to EVERY area of your life...
#TheBestYou Michele Paradise has worked with 1000s of brides, giving them confidence and up-to-the-minute tips and techniques. An ex-fashion model, life-coach and hypnotherapist who was trained by Paul McKenna PhD, she is recognised as the world's leading expert on coaching brides.
Life Without Limits
TM
Here are some of her top tips for making a happy bride:
Always buy your
wedding shoes in the afternoon or early evening when your feet are at their largest. Feet swell during the day.
Cover new wedding shoes
with cut off tights, wear them every day for 15/30 minutes to break them in at least a month before the wedding.
Know your body shape
before buying the wedding dress. Are you a triangle, circle, rectangle, inverted triangle or hourglass? Know before you buy!
Practice smiling daily so that your face doesn't hurt on your wedding day! Smiling releases endorphins so you will feel great as well.
Not sure about wearing hair up or down. Do both. Half up, half down. It will give you length and glamour at the same time.
The First 10 Seconds Matters
Choose a classic makeup look for your
wedding. It's timeless and will look good in the photos 10 years from now.
Emma Vitas on being the best job candidate
Let go of the things you can't control
like the weather and relatives. Focus on the things you can change.
Planning a wedding is
great and very exciting but remember to focus on the relationship. Without it there won't be a wedding.
The Bridal Coach four-DVD set is an amazing gift for any bribe-to-be!
to keep your mind decluttered. Record everything and decide what to do with it later.
For the Love of Money
T. Harv Eker on personal and financial well-being
to photograph you with a digital camera, up-load the photos on your laptop and repeat until you get it right.
Recommended reading Alan Austin-Smith 50% of what makes someone fantastic at their job has nothing to do with their job! What makes us good at what we do, is what we call ‘other’ stuff.
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Andy Hurst says it's not just about profit
Take a notebook with you everywhere
Looking for your best angle? Get a friend
Fantastic When Good is Not Enough
Increasing the value of your company
The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out at www.thebestyou.co
Anthony Robbins'Living Health Anthony Robbins CDs,Workbook & Summary Cards You will learn and immediately apply specific steps to dramatically increase your energy levels!
Nigella Lawson How to Eat : Pleasures and Principles of Good Food Nigella Lawson How To Eat is far more than just an imaginative collection of over 350 uncomplicated, delicious recipes.
Tell us your inspirational story
Inspire others with your personal story of change. Email us at info@thebestgroupinternational.co
#TheBestYou
Wealth & riches: Emma Vites
Guide to being your Best at job interviews The Best You continues its series of articles to help job seekers get their best start at a career
Be The Best Candidate at Job Interviews
THE FIRST 10 SECONDS MATTER Top careers and sales coach Emma Vites gives job seekers advice when they walk into their interview.
T
here are so many articles written about how to be the best in a job interview and most of them centre on finding out about the company and the role and preparing yourself with the questions you believe the prospective employer will ask. Although all of this is crucial I believe there is something fundamentally missing with this approach and that is it misses the fact that you are being interviewed by a ‘person’ and there is a certain human element to interviews. We have all heard the phrase “people make up their mind about you in the first 10 seconds of meeting you” and this is the same with employers and interviewers. This article is about how can you grab article needs to be about how can you grab the positive attention of the interviewee in those crucial 58 w w w.thebestyou.co
first 10 seconds to ensure that you have the maximum chance of securing the job. “The first 10% of any interview will dictate the final 90%” Roger Caras So what happens in those first 10 seconds? How do these quick opinions get formed? How do the employers decide if you are a yes or a no almost immediately? What we need to remember is that 96% of what we do, think and feel is subconscious and that creates our beliefs, opinions, values and perceptions. This means that without us really knowing it; our subconscious is forming opinions of people all the time, which allows us to make these quick judgements! As quick as 10 seconds! We decide who is confident, smart, successful and employable before someone
Look smart & presentable. Wear smart clothes, minimal jewellery and polish your shoes. Be punctual. No more than 10 minutes early and definitely not late! Stand, don’t sit in reception. It creates a ‘subconscious perception’ of confidence.
Build rapport on topics the person will be interested in. With the rise of social media, it is now easy to know information about the person interviewing you. Look on LinkedIn,Twitter and ‘Google’. If they have written an article, positively comment on it. This information will help you as “people like people like themselves” and “people often employ people they like”.Mirror their behaviour, ask them about their background and about themselves. I encourage you to read ‘How to win friends & influence people’ by Dale Carnegie.
Research lots about the company. Find out what is happening in their industry and come prepared with intelligent questions. even opens up their mouth! This is a great hint to know when going on job interviews, because you can create an amazing impression almost immediately. The best way to do this is to close your eyes and really think about what characteristics you would see in people that would enable you to perceive them as confident, smart, successful and employable. Use your imagination and start to visualise what would they look like? What clothes are these confident people wearing? How are they standing? What questions do they ask? How do they speak? Can you think of any famous people who emulate confidence? What is it about them that has caused you to formulate your positive opinion and perception of them. b
Did you know? The top 10 in demand jobs in 2012 did not exist in 2004 We are currently preparing students for jobs that don’t yet exist…using technologies that haven’t been invented in order to solve problems we don’t even know are problems yet The US Department of Labor estimates that today’s learner will have 10-14 jobs by the age of 38. Recruiters are becoming more risk averse and looking to recruit more experienced older staff. 1 in 4 workers in the US has been with their current employer for less than a year.
When answering questions...always use examples of when you have demonstrated certain competencies. You have 2 ears and one mouth and use them in that order! Please ensure you LISTEN attentively to every question so you answer them correctly Close them down for next steps and a commitment. Tell them you’re keen; find out what the next steps are and what their process is. Send an email after the interview thanking them for their time.
The first 10% of any interview will dictate the final 90%. w w w.thebestyou.co 59
Wealth & riches: Andy Hurst
Increasing the value of your company ( It's not just about profit! )
Andy Hurst tells us why it is important to add value to our businesses.
A
Get The Finance You Need To Grow Your Business In 2013 In 7 Steps (& Save Yourself Thousands In Professional Fees At The Same Time) If funding your business is part of your growth plan for 2013, then when you attend the ‘Show Me The Money In 7 Steps’ discovery session, we will walk you through the 7 steps to successfully raise the finance you need this year without the big professional fees normally involved. Join Simon Dixon, CEO & CO-FOUNDER OF
showmethemoneybf.eventbrite.com
It's a GREAT discipline to run our business as if we mean to sell it. It forces us to start to design a business independent of ourselves as owners. It tends to make us focus on the right things; on the fundamental assets that underpin the business model and not just revenue and profit. These assets create long term wealth. And they also drive current revenue and profit - income follows asset. Keeping the business assets under review on a regular basis acts as a kind of 'Log Book' for your business, keeping you honest to your vision and also making a powerful narrative to a buyer if you ever come to sell.
The Nepalese government has launched an ambitious new programme which aims to eradicate illiteracy in the country by 2015. The Literate Nepal Mission aims to ensure 1.38 million Nepalese people learn to read and write every year for three years, with an investment of Rs 3.95bn (£27.9m). According to the Ministry of Education (MoE), the country’s literacy rate currently stands at 70%.The MoE is encouraging all literate people to be part of the campaign, calling on civil servants, teachers and army personnel to help work towards the target. Around 36,000 centres will be created to teach literacy classes, with the help of 27,000 volunteers.
Personal development bring happiness
Andy Hurst
business owner said to me last week: "Why should I be interested in driving asset value when I have no intention of selling my business?" It's a reasonable question. And one to which there are lots of answers. Here are four:
Nepalese vow to stop illiteracy
It's often not about selling wholesale. Many businesses are greatly strengthened by equity-sharing Trade Partnerships. Many management teams are hugely motivated by equity sharing arrangements. To bring in trade Partners or your own management you need to understand the asset value - and to ensure you get the best deal it's obviously critical to maximise it. And that takes time. It's energising. Remember how it felt in the property boom knowing what your house was worth? It can be the same with a business. After all for most of us our business is the single greatest asset we have. Why not be energised by tracking and building its value? b If you'd be interested in learning more, please contact ahurst@shirlawscoaching.com
I’ve always been a spiritual person but I had never involved myself in any self Anne Assid development groups. But North Hampton, 2 years ago, I went through UK a terrible heart-breaking experience that woke the spiritual part of myself. As I was certain that everything happens for a reason, I started to look for an answer what could cause that situation. I came across Louise Hay and Paul McKenna's books and started using some techniques. After quite a short period of time after using them I had a feeling that the heartbreaking thing happened to somebody else not to me. 12 months ago I switched on to Louise Hay’s work and started using affirmations relating to buying a house. That task looked rather pretty hard to do. But I managed to buy a brand new house that I am moving in next month. My relationships with people and family have started to improve. As I started using Louise’s affirmations and Paul’s visualizations techniques, our relationships shifted. My job relationships have never been bad but they shifted too and recently I have been offered a more responsible position to take. My days are generally brighter and nicer. @AnnaAssid
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The Rocky Road to Success
Wealth & riches: The Rocky Road to Success
Traits you'll need on the way Bernardo Moya Who are your heroes? @Bernardo_Moya
Nikola Tesla
Helen Keller
Elon Musk
Nick Vujicic
The Genius
Early childhood and illness
From Paypal to the Stars
Life Without Limbs
Born in Serbia in 1856 to an illiterate mother and a priest, Nikola Tesla was no doubt a genius. At college he showed how he could perform integral calculus in his head, prompting his teachers to accuse him of cheating. During his first year at University he worked from 3am to 11pm every day, but later became addicted to gambling, losing all his allowance before winning it back and returning the balance to his family. He failed to graduate and worked as a draftsman. During this time he had a nervous breakdown. Then, in 1884 he sailed for the US, arriving with only four cents in his pocket. Here, he was hired by Thomas Edison at his Edison Machine Works, where he was asked to solve some of the company's most difficult problems, including redesigning Edison's direct current generators. After arguing with Edison, Tesla set up his own company and devised an alternating current electrical system. He went on to invent the Tesla coil, wireless electrical transmission, laid down the foundations of radar, made early studies of X-rays and in 1898 demonstrated a radio-controlled boat. His inventions were so advanced that they were used at the cutting edge of technology. When Marconi made his famous first ever transatlantic radio transmission in 1901, Tesla quipped that it was done with 17 Tesla patents. Tesla’s work on electricity and radio at the beginning of the 20th Century were the foundation of many things we now take for granted. As such, there is no doubt he was an extraordinary, world-changing figure.
Born in the US in 1880, Helen Keller was struck blind and deaf by a mystery illness at 19 months. Though she had the basic ability to communicate using hand signals, her life was one of frustration at not being able to understand what was going on around her. She had no way of connecting an object with a word until her instructor, Anne Sullivan, took over her teaching. Sullivan's problem was clear. How could she get Keller to understand that each thing in the world had a word signifying it? The breakthrough came in a famous moment when Helen Keller connected the concept "water" that was being spelled on her hand with the water being run on her other hand. After that, she wore Sullivan out asking her for the words for the things around her. This breakthrough revealed Keller to have a first rate mind, and after attending a series of educational establishments she was admitted in 1900 to Radcliffe College and in 1904, at the age of 24, became the first deaf blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree. Keller learned to speak and went on to spend much of the rest of her life giving speeches and lectures, as well as becoming a famous author. Devoted to helping the disadvantaged, she became an influential socialist, an advocate for birth control, a pacifist and suffragist, she was a beacon of hope and an inspiration to millions throughout the world afflicted with disabilities.
Elon Musk is a man with vision. Born in 1971 he is co-founder of Paypal. But that's not all. He also co-founded Tesla Motors and founded the space company, Spacex, which designed the Falcon 9/Dragon, a private successor to the spaceshuttle. Musk showed his talent early on. As a 10 year old boy in South Africa he bought his first computer and by the age of 12 sold his first commercial software, a space game called Blastar. After graduating from university and inspired by innovators such as Nikola Tesla, Musk considered three areas he wanted to get into: the internet, energy and space. His projects over the following years saw each realised. In 1995 he started Zip2, which provided online content publishing software for news organisations, with his brother Kimbal Musk, which they sold for US$341 million in 1999. His next project was X.com, which later took over Paypal and was acquired by eBay for US$1.5 billion in stock in 2001. He then founded Space Exploration Technologies (SpaceX), in 2002, which was awarded a $1.6 billion NASA for 12 flights to the International Space Station, replacing the Space Shuttle. For Musk, this is the starting point of his goal of starting to colonise the stars. He even has plans for a greenhouse to grow crops on Mars. But he hasn't neglected Earth. Concerned with ecology, he also has developed the high performance Tesla Roadster, a car that runs on electricity and he has also conceived the idea of Solar City, designed to harness solar power.
Nick Vujicic was born in Australia in 1982 with tetra amelia syndrome, meaning he has no arms or legs, one toeless foot and the other with only two toes. Nick struggled with life as a child. He was bullied school and by the age of 10 was ready to drown himself. As he says, the only thing that held him back was his love for his parents A massive change came in his life when he was shown a newspaper story by his mother about a man living with a severe disability. It made Vujicic realize he wasn't unique in his struggles and he began to embrace who he was. From that moment on, he started to actively take charge however he could in his life. He learned to write using a special pen grip designed for his two toes, he also learned how to use a computer and type. He even learned how to throw tennis balls, play a drum pedal, get himself a glass of water, comb his hair, brush his teeth, answer the phone and shave. As he grew older, he was elected captain of his school and began working on fund-raising events for local charities and disability campaigns. By age 17, he was giving talks at his prayer group. He soon began a non-profit organization, Life Without Limbs and now gives motivational talks and raises money to help disabled people. On 12 February 2012, he married his fiancée Kanae Miyahara. Nick Vujicic's example is one of the great inspirational stories for anyone who feels they are at a disadvantage in life.
Nikola Tesla is often cited as the misunderstood genius of the 19th and 20th centuries. He overcame hardship to allow his brilliance to shine through, and many of the things we now take for granted were first conceived in his brilliant mind. Bernardo Moya
Our virtues and our failings are inseparable, like force and matter. When they separate, man is no more. 62 w w w.thebestyou.co
Helen Keller is synonymous with overcoming disability in order to become a full and active member of the community. She gave a voice to so many like her who would otherwise never have been heard. Bernardo Moya
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
In years to come, I believe Elon Musk will be one of the great inspirational names. The work he is doing is changing the world - and potentially much beyond it, too! Bernardo Moya
Land on Mars, a round-trip ticket - half a million dollars. It can be done.
For Nick, faith, love, gratitude and an amazing attitude turned his life around. It's something we all can learn from. Bernardo Moya
If you can't get a miracle, become one. w w w.thebestyou.co 63
THE BEST
YOU
Wealth & riches: T. Harv Eker
For the love of money…
21st Century Living
The pace of change can sometimes bewilder - but also gives amazing opportunities to meet new people, discover new things and thrive. Bring out the best in you by discovering the latest innovations that will put you ahead of the pack.
Life Without Limits
TM
T. Harv Eker As hearts and roses flourish on the High Street this February 2013, internationally acclaimed author and coach T. Harv Eker shares some wise lessons for financial-phobes on how personal and financial wellbeing may be linked, particularly during or postrecession…
O
n the face of it, a partnership between two people in love shouldn’t be affected by our own view of ‘The Mean Green’. Yet, as the process of love evolves and you settle into the nesting phase and beyond, money may impact more on your lives that you might ever have imagined, particularly today. There isn’t one publicly documented divorce case that doesn’t include or allude to the ‘divorce settlement’ in the copy. Cynical perhaps, but the facts override. According to the Office for National Statistics, a recession reflects spikes in divorce rates (see early 80s, 90s and post2000) and ‘Money’ would appear to be one of the major sources of conflict between couples (sorry to dampen Cupid’s bow but facts are
facts). But why is this? In the main, as well as not having enough money in the bank there may be underlying factors. Bottom-line, each of you will have a varying financial blueprint, ie a different standpoint when it comes to your psychological relationship with money. Let me explain further… If you grew up in a household where money was considered the ‘root of all evil’ and this expression was often used by one or both parents, you might grow up either believing this statement or resenting it to the very core. So having savings or creating wealth may be seen as a ‘negative’ or viewed as something potentially ‘damaging’. For your partner, perhaps he or she grew up in a household with no money whatsoever. Therefore, whenever they earn or save money in their adult life, it is spent quicker than you can spout the word ‘debt’, because they don’t believe money will or can stick around. Based on these two examples in the broadest of senses, there are bound to be differences in you and your partner’s approach towards money. The good news is that your financial relationship can change, regardless of where you started out. Here’s a quick guide for you and your loved one:
❶
Examine your own relationship with money, honestly and considering whom might have influenced your attitude towards wealth
Andy Forrester
Philip Green, owner of, amongst much else, British Home Stores, reached billionaire status faster than anyone else in British history. 64 w w w.thebestyou.co
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Discuss with your partner how you can better communicate as a partnership and manage your joint and individual financial future
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Talk about spending and saving in the context of joint and individual finances is essential, particularly if you have dependents
❺ Take action and responsibility for your
decisions and actions: make a plan together including individual and dual check-lists, look at monthly outgoings and what can be saved and use the T. Harv Eker ‘Jar System’ to help you better manage your cash Change rarely happens overnight as deeply ingrained habits are hard to break for most people. However, with a joint common goal, the stress of sole combat may diminish and you might even have spare pennies in your ‘Play’ Jar to spoil your partner every year on Valentine’s Day. If you don’t know what a Play Jar is you will just have to attend one of my Millionaire Mind Intensive seminars to find out…
10 Questions to Kickstart Your Business Idea How you can use "crowdsourcing"
Stressbusting at Work
The Best You helps you find peace in the workplace
www.millionairemindglobal.com Buy Secrets of the Millionaire Mind from The Best You.
21st Century Energy Saving Tips The Best You helps you save cash!
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Are you a spender or a saver and how does this compare to your loved one – do you
Recommended reading Top Man: How Philip Green Built His High Street Empire
argue about money or maybe money masks other problem areas
The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out at www.thebestyou.co
The Art of Flow Anders Piper
A short introduction to the concept of flow and then it is time to lean back and enjoy being taken through the process, guiding you towards that wonderful state.
Business Stripped Bare: Adventures of a Global Entrepreneur Richard Branson
From its creation as a mail-order record company to the literal launch of Virgin Galactic, Virgin is one of the premier 'way-of-life' brands in the world.
Tell us your inspirational story
Inspire others with your personal story of change. Email us at info@thebestgroupinternational.co
What if the funding target isn’t reached in time?
21st century living: Crowdsourcing
Ten Questions to Kickstart Your Business Idea In an age when banks are far more cautious about where they invest, how do you fund that world-beating project? Crowdfunding might be the answer. The Best You finds out about this innovative way of raising cash – and what it can do for you.
Many crowdfunding websites run an escrow system, meaning the money is only released to the project provided the criteria for investment are met. If not the money is returned to the investors. If you are considering investing it’s worth checking this. Other crowdfunding sites simply forward the money straight to the project.
Is it legal? There have been problems with crowdfunding in the US, due to the restrictions placed on individual investors by the law. If direct profit is being offered to investors as a return, then this may fall foul of securities regulation. However, the law has recently been changed in the US to enable crowdfunding more easily.
#TheBestYou
People seeking funding set out exactly how much they need and set a financial target and a timescale within which to reach it.
ArtistShare
Crowdfunding – what is it? Crowdfunding is a way for projects that need funding but don’t meet conventional business criteria to get started. It might be that the project is an arts project, that it is an independent business project without conventional backing. It could even be a more distantly-related request for funding that only helps the project indirectly.
How does it work, nowadays? Nowadays there are numerous websites acting as crowdfunding portals. Probably the most famous of these is Kickstarter.com. Each website does things slightly differently, but the essential format is the same: a creative individual, group or business with a project to fund pitches their idea on the website.This can be done with the written word, but also often involves a multimedia presentation. People seeking funding set out exactly how much they need and set a financial target and a timescale within which to reach it.
What notable projects have come from crowdfunding? The news is currently filled with crowdfunding success projects. From the initial arts projects that started the ball rolling, the phenomenon has expanded to all sectors. Here is a random pick of some of the more noteworthy projects:
How did it start?
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Elite: Dangerous, a video game requiring development funding raised US $1.25 million in 2 months.
An early instance of crowdfunding happened way back in 1997, when UK rock group Marillion asked their fans to help fund a US tour. The fan base got together and raised the £60,000 needed – and Marillion have used this method of funding tours ever since.
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Pebble Smartwatch raised US $10.25 million to get their e-paper watch into production. The first $100,000 was raised in 2 hours.
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One website is raising money to save an artist’s eyesight.
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One writer funded his walking tour of Europe, including receiving pledges of places to stay from funders on a crowdfunding site.
Kickstarter
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What’s in it for the investor? Many of the arts-based crowdfunding sites offer a piece of art in return for crowdfunding, a ticket to a show or a certificate, advertising – it could be anything. For many investors in the arts field, the satisfaction of knowing they got an arts project off the ground is enough. However, part of that presentation includes outlining what the investor will get back from it should the desired funding come through. This can be anything, and can often be staged depending on the level of investment. For example, one cake making company seeking investment offered three different levels of repayment for the project – including free cakes delivered to you and a friend, and membership of their cakes club. Another offered advertising in a book they were writing. A third offered a large discount on the product they were designing, once it came to production.
With Kickstarter.com alone raising $319 million in 2012, it’s never been a more interesting time to raise money. Crowdfunding is a genuine option to raise money for that project you are seeking to further, and for investors represents a great opportunity to meet creative and innovative people and get in at the ground floor.
Banktothefuture
Crowdfunding websites: www.artistshare.com www.campfirenow.com www.fundageek.com www.indiegogo.com www.kickstarter.com
Campfire
www.sponsume.com www.banktothefuture.com
Did you know?
Fundageek
Jeff Howe first coined the term crowdsourcing in a blog post accompanying his June 2006 Wire magazine article.
Indiegogo w w w.thebestyou.co 67
21st century living: Stress Relief
DE - STRESSING QUOTES:
Stressbusting at Work
The u t Yo Bes ey v Sur 3 201
No matter what the situation, remind yourself “I have a choice.” Deepak Chopra
Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Loretta Laroche
If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?
Drink Camomile
If you are used to going for that big caffeine hit in the morning, be aware that as well as energising, it can also build stress. So, try different hot drinks without tea. An infusion of camomile is relaxing, while nettle and ginger can bring you focus. Experiment. And remember, a hot drink in itself can be relaxing!
Rumi
The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. George C. Scott
Last month The Best You released the results of the 2013 Wellness in the Workplace Survey. It is clear that work in the 21st Century in modern offices is a very stressful place to be. Respondents overwhelmingly requested more assistance for keeping stress free at work. 67.7% said they felt they would be more effective in their work roles if they had support with well-being and mental health within the workplace. So here are five practical ways to beat stress and keep well at work with The Best You!
Reach for the sky!
We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, overreacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally.
Giving your muscles a good stretch helps your lymph system (which controls your immunity) to work better. Use a simple stretch like this: stand with your hands at your side, go up on the balls of your feet, raise your arms up in a straight line above your head, look upwards and reach for the sky. Repeat three times. It's amazing how much better you will feel after this.
Dalai Lama
Books to bring inner peace
Stand up!
Statistics show that people who spend the majority of their working day sitting down live shorter lives than those in more active professions. While much of this is to do with exercise, some of it is also to do with the pressure placed on your internal organs by being in a seated position. Make sure you stand up every twenty minutes. Whether that's a walk to the photocopier or a quick turn around the office, give yourself some standing room.
Learn to meditate
A general setting of calmness can be attained by learning the art of mindfulness and meditation. Meditation teaches the brain to work at a much slower more health-giving cycle and shows you how to dispel tensions and worries that seemed very important. It is a powerful way to get the stress out of your life and take charge once more.
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Breathe better
Many people breathe from the top of their rib cage rather than deep down from the diaphragm. Shallow breathing emulates panic breathing - so taking charge of your breathing can calm your body. Once you've learned diaphragm breathing, then stand, stretch, take a deep breath and hold for a count of three. Then let the breath go at the same time as releasing the stretch. Do this three times throughout the morning and three times in the afternoon. It's really effective.
Hypnotherapy for Dummies & Meditation for Dummies By Mike Bryant & Stephan Bodian
Buy from The Best You
LIke us on Facebook 68 w w w.thebestyou.co
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21 Century Energy Saving Tips that Save you Cash! st
we support
#TheBestYou
The Best You backs worthy causes that help our community Pauline is a great Bosom Buddy
In the 21st Century, saving energy doesn’t only mean saving the planet – it also means saving cash! The Best You gives some tips that you can use to make your home more energy efficient!
Buy a halogen oven
It can roast a chicken in 30 minutes. A halogen oven uses 75% less electricity than a conventional electric oven. When you combine this lower use of power with the 50% faster cooking time you are can see a big reduction in your electricity bill.
Block your chimney
An unblocked fireplace can mean money up the chimney – hundreds of pounds each year. You can cap your chimney or, if you use it occasionally, block the draught with an inflatable chimney balloon.
Install a voltage optimisation device
The difference between the voltage fed into your home and what your appliances need could mean that a standard appliance takes more than 4 % more current and consumes almost 9% more energy than necessary. The technology could save you up to 10% on your electricity bills. A voltage optimisation device will need to be installed by a professional electrician.
Get shower savvy
Modern high-power showers can use as much water in five minutes as it takes to fill a bath. Energy-efficient shower heads and faucet aerators can reduce the amount of water delivered from taps and shower heads by 50 % but still allow you to enjoy an invigorating shower. You save on your water bill (if you have a meter) and on the energy required to heat your water.
Cavity wall insulation
Up to 35% of heat can be lost through the walls of an uninsulated house. If you own a typical three-bedroom semi with cavity walls, insulation can save up to £135 a year in heating bills – and grants of are widely available from the major energy suppliers to pay for insulation.
Draught-proofing
Draught-proofing is one of the cheapest and most efficient ways to save energy but is often overlooked. Savings of £55 a year are possible, according to the Energy Saving Trust. Where it is practical you should seal windows, doors, loft hatches and pipe work leading outside
Don’t forget the letter box
The British-invented Ecoflap letterbox replaces the brush, seal and gravity flap draught excluders you traditionally get on letterboxes and uses the wind to blow it shut.
Loft insulation
You can lose a quarter of your heat through an uninsulated roof. Even where you have insulation it may be worth topping it up. The recommended level is typically 270mm (11").
Eco lighting
Lighting accounts for 8 % of typical household energy bills. Replacing one traditional light bulb with a compact fluorescent bulb of the same brightness will typically save around £3 a year, or £55 over the lifetime of the product, according to the Energy Saving Trust. LED lights are becoming increasingly popular and use 10 % of the energy of a typical light bulb.
More tips www.energysavingtrust.org.uk
Recommended reading Did You Spot The Gorilla? How To Recognise The Hidden Opportunities In Your Life
Richard Wiseman A recent series of ground-breaking psychological experiments saw volunteers shown a 30-second film of people playing basketball and told to count the number of passes made with the ball. 70 w w w.thebestyou.co
The Best You website is packed with loads of great books, DVDs, CDs, downloads, free articles and reports. Check it out at www.thebestyou.co
Coaching for Performance
John Whitmore 'Coaching is a way of managing, a way of treating people, a way of thinking, and a way of being. John Whitmore.
The 5 Levels of Leadership : Proven Steps to Maximise Your Potential
John C Maxwell One of the most established authorities on leadership today, John C. Maxwell's most popular topic is THE FIVE LEVELS OF LEADERSHIP, which he now shares.
Bosom Buddies UK
OTHER WORTHY CAUSES WE SUPPORT National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) www.nspcc.org.uk Katie Piper Foundation www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk
Alice's Blog alicepyne.blogspot.co.uk
Sebastian's Action Trust www.sebastiansactiontrust.org
Johnson Beharry VC www.johnsonbeharryvc.com
Teenage Cancer Trust www.teenagecancertrust.org
10millionmetres www.alexflynn.co.uk
Pauline Giles was recovering from a breast cancer op and the ensuing chemo when the idea for Bosombuddiesuk came to her. Formed in 2011, the charity's aim is to go into schools and educate year 11 girls, (16+) on signs and symptoms of breast cancer, and teach them how to check themselves. "It is the last time you can get 90%of the female population in one place," says Pauline. "Teaching 90% year on year will make a huge difference to how the disease is perceived. We also educate about treatment. Many women still think having breast cancer means the removal of the breast and what looks like a beanbag to stuff down your bra. Things have changed and women should know this." Pauline aims to place two ladies who have had breast cancer in the last five years working for Bosom Buddies in every UK county. Already 13 "buddies" are spreading the word, thanks to her highly-effective fundraising. She works 60+ hours a week and describes herself as "a woman on a mission". "The bill for treating breast cancer in its more advanced stages is expensive," Pauline adds."We hope to help women catch cancer early while reducing NHS costs." One Bosom Buddies project sells pairs of trainers with a "how to check" tag on their laces. Another project is to make an app available in 7 different languages so women all over the world who don't have access to medical care can check themselves. Pauline's charity has grown massively over the last 18 months. Your help will take it further. As she clearly says: "I won't be happy until I have world domination!" Help her achieve her goal. www.bosombuddiesuk.com
Alice Pyne
Alice's Escapes - Update Last month we reported about brave Bucket List girl Alice Pyne who set up a charity to enable families with a terminally ill child to go on holiday together for free. In January, Alice finally lost her fight against Hodgkinson's Lymphoma at the age of 17. Her mother continues to run the charity. Our hearts go out to Alice's family at this time. To donate to Alice's Escapes, go to: www.alices-escapes.co.uk/ w w w.thebestyou.co 71