The Black Family Magazine March 2023 Special Empowerment Edition

ABOUT

The Black Family Magazine is the first publication of magazines in the field of personal and professional development, wealth building, African American empowerment, and challenging predefined narratives applied to the African American community.

VISION

Our new platform is dedicated to bringing solutions to families in the black community. The platform is designed to expand your awareness, uncover truth, redefine life, renew strength, and help you to build a new legacy of health and wealth for families with intentions of changing the narrative one family at a time.

MISSION

Our mission is to break generational cycles and healing from generational hurts, and building generational wealth through personal and professional development.

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Exclusive Interview with 1st African American Commanding Officer for NAFVAC Southwest By Laurie Scott, A Navy TrailBlazer

You Made It To This Point by Undrai Fizer

Dreams Belong To You by Kevin Darley

It Still Belongs To You by Dr. Bridget Fizer

Social Buffers Reduce Stress by Jewel Taylor

The Empowerment and Inspiration Of Going To Counseling by Desiree Gordon

The Liberated Woman (Elevating Self-Care) by Yetta Young

What is Black? By Dr. Shwanda Onwuachi

Authenticity Proceeds and leads to Empowerment by Lolita McNeal

Exclusively Interview with Ann & Veronica Simon Guest Editor-in-Chief

Resonating With Oneself –Torsha Salley Anderson Passion Bradley – Never Give Up On You

SPECIAL SPOTLIGHTS:

Dr. Rico Short – Top African American Endodontist To The Stars

GAMBLE FAMILY HISTORIC SPOTLIGHT:

The Power Of Self-Love by Nataly Randle Victim or Victor by Sabrina Protic

Money & Legacy –Why It’s Missing from Black Families by Andre Parker

ME by Dann Alexander

The Life of a Champion Tori Nelson

Meet Pastor Wendell and Dr Oya Townsley

Special Message from

Veronica Simon

to educate oneself on Black History. After pondering over it for a while, it became bigger for me because Black culture isn’t just localized or boxed into one month, it is who we are. The essence of our being, the gravity of all that has come before us, those with us and those yet to come… A living, ongoing, evolving, inclusive culture that has NO end simply because of who we are as A People and more so as a NATION!

#TogetherWeAreOne

YOU Matter!

EVERY single month is an EMPOWERMENT (I AM POWERFUL) month that offers hope. Rather than entrap oneself to one month over another as a determining factor of it being an inspiration, let’s coin each day, month of the year an opportunity for YOU to rise in YOUR power. February was initially the target for this “Empowerment” edition because of Black History Month, where the focus becomes the celebration of Black culture and heritage as well as the opportunity

I am honored to have been given the opportunity to be the face of The Black Family Magazine’s Empowerment Edition as a VIP Ambassador! I was born for this, the assignment to inspire and reflect that empowerment is an opportunity for everyone. I am a February baby with an impactful mission of loving others to life! There is no coincidence that my zodiac sign is Aquarius. Though not everyone subscribes to the constellation of the stars (Zodiac signs), for me, I am spiritually/essence led from within when it comes to being in touch with what inspires me to dare to keep showing up as my authentic self. The ability to spend time with myself is empowering! To

make and take the time to just be with myself has afforded me the confidence to come out of hiding. In becoming comfortable with me, myself and I on a multitude of levels, I no longer question if I belong in any given area. Instead, I challenge myself to keep showing up AUTHENTIC! I have been able to remove the stigma of feeling the need to subscribe to the categories of others and to #TapInward to the power within.

I jumped at the opportunity to be the face of this edition simply because I wanted to inspire others to give themselves permission to be their authentic selves. To dare to pursue and live the life that they are destined to thrive through as if they were a water source that was once blocked/clogged and have now found the inner strength to identify, celebrate and release themselves to flow like a purposed passionate stream of living water which is the breath of their soul. I am the trademark owner of ‘Be You Boo! ™’, a brand that I wanted to formalize as another way to setup a series of ways to inspire ANYONE to dare to be their authentic self, regardless of social, economic, educational, ethnic

statuses. I dreamt and still dream to be a part of the solution to free others to be themselves while first loving who they are and not what others may desire them to be. The brand is set up to be a clothing line brand though my dream was to have it trademarked and secured for any instance, but I slept on it longer than I should have and missed the opportunity to secure every aspect that I envisioned so many times from within. I allowed myself to become my own naysayer because of what I felt others (without others even being identified other than the stinkin thinkin that some of us do too often to ourselves) would think.

Within this edition, you will read the articles of the writers, see their pictures and on some level be able to relate in some way, shape or form. At any given time, a point in your life or some fraction if not all of what they have written has been something that you may have encountered firsthand or know of someone who has. This edition is for the EMPOWERMENT OF ALL! The articles written will speak on the following sentiments:

• Self-Love

• Money

• Diversity

• The Power of Support (Love)

• Resiliency

Just to name a few…

How to contact or follow

Veronica via social media:

Facebook: Veronica Simon | Facebook

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/ in/veronica-simon-b718011/

A Navy TrailBlazer – 1st African American Commanding Officer for NAVFAC Southwest

Laurie Scott is a Navy Captain with over 26 years of service in the U.S. Navy Civil Engineer Corps. He is the first African-American to serve in his current role as the Commanding Officer for Naval Facilities Engineering Systems Command (NAVFAC) Southwest. NAVFAC Southwest includes over 3,400 personnel with a core mission of providing cradle to grave planning, engineering, construction, environmental, real estate and public works services for 19 Navy, Marine Corps and Air Force installations across Southwest United States. NAVFAC Southwest is his third Commanding Officer (CO) tour as he previously served as CO of Naval Mobile Construction Battalion THREE and NAVFAC Officer in Charge of Construction (OICC) China Lake. The interview below provides insight into Scott’s humble beginnings and his path to success.

Where are you from?

I’m from a small rural community in SC called Hemingway. When I was growing up job opportunities in Hemingway centered around farming and/or working at one of the local factories. Hemingway is the only location in Continental US where Tupperware is manufactured. I offer that because my mother, Mary Scott, worked at Tupperware, and it’s something I am very proud of as her work ethic and sacrifices for my three siblings and I served as an amazing role model early on in my life.

What was life like for you growing up?

It was great. We did not have much money, but my single parent mother ensured that we had everything we needed, not everything we wanted. I played sports with friends in my neighborhood, but was never good enough to make the team, which in hindsight was a blessing, as it allowed me to focus more on my studies, which my mother will tell you I needed.

How big of a role did your mother play in your development?

The role she played is insurmountable. The power of her example taught me how to treat people with dignity and respect and to work hard for what you want out of life. While she worked long hours growing up, she was a very engaged mom who put everything into my siblings and I so that we would have educational and career opportunities that simply were not available to her. My mom more than anyone else believed in me when I doubted myself and gave me the best advice ever as I was heading off to college, “manners will take you places books won’t”. Simple but true words.

Speaking of College, how did a young man from South Carolina end up at North Carolina A&T State University?

Great question because growing up my mom wanted us all to go to school in South Carolina. My older brother went to Morehouse College in Atlanta, GA so that opened

the aperture to explore schools out of state for me. I visited NC A&T’s campus with some classmates from high school and I was hooked; especially since one of their distinguished graduates was Dr. Ronald McNair, who was from a neighboring town in SC (Lake City) and tragically died in the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster in 1986. I also did extensive research and realized that NC A&T graduated more black engineers than any other college, which I used to convince my mom along with the fact that out-of-state tuition at NC A&T was cheaper than Morehouse.

What did going to NC A&T do for you?

It allowed me to grow both intellectually and as a leader. My mom was not fully sold on me going to school outof-state so I knew going in I could not give her a reason academically to bring me back home for college. From an academic perspective, I had teachers who were all-in on ensuring that I was technically prepared to be a Civil Engineer. From a leadership perspective, I was heavily involved in student organizations to include Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Student Union Advisory, Civil Engineering Honor

Society, etc. I held multiple executive offices in student organizations that allowed me to get practical leadership experience that proved critical in preparing me to effectively communicate with people from different backgrounds, which is a large part of what I’ve done throughout my naval career.

What made you decide to join the Navy?

I did summer interns throughout college and had a few civilian jobs lined up going into my senior year, but decided to join the Navy six months prior to graduating from college for two reasons. First, I was made aware of a special community in the Navy called the Civil Engineer Corps and the opportunity to not only gain relevant technical experience, but also early career leadership experience intrigued me. Second, my sister, Regina Scott, served in the Air Force and she has been a role model for service above self and I wanted to do my part to contribute to the defense of our nation in the same manner she did.

You’ve had a very successful Navy career, what are some

of the lessons learned you can share with those trying to emulate your success in their careers?

I’ve seen and learned a lot throughout my 26.5 year Navy career. I’ve had mentors who have helped me by sharing their lessons learned and life experiences, so let me return the favor by providing your readers with the top 3 things my experience in the Navy has taught me:

• Let your reality be your reality. Don’t look to external forces like social media or cable news to determine your reality and/or opinion about an individual or group of individuals. Live and learn from the people you interact with daily in the real world.

• Do the right thing when nobody’s watching. Early in my career I served as Company Commander in a Seabee Battalion. My Company routinely talked about relevant Navy topics as a collective group. While discussing what the Navy core values of Honor, Courage and Commitment meant to each of us, an enlisted Second Class Petty Officer replied, “it means doing the right thing when no one is watching”.

That resonated with me and I adopted “Do the Right Thing” as my Command Philosophy for all three units I’ve had the honor of serving as Commanding Officer for.

• Live an Honorable personal and professional life. When I was Commanding Officer of a Seabee Battalion I had the opportunity to serve as the retiring Officer for one of my Seabees. This particular Seabee was a selfless leader who had never previously done a big promotion party/ ceremony, but decided to do a retirement ceremony to honor her wife who she could not properly acknowledge previously under “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Her wife was a part of her personal life that contributed to her professional success and with the abolishment of “don’t ask, don’t tell”, she used her retirement ceremony to publicly acknowledge and celebrate her wife. It’s impossible to ask someone to live life honorably if they can’t share elements of their lives that matter most.

Parting Words? Aggie Pride and GO NAVY!

Belong Dreams by To You Kevin Darley

High expectations were established for the youngest of three and the only boy. Living up to the expectations became more challenging as I aged. From the beginning, as early as ten years old, I knew I wanted to be a professional football player. Understanding the process to get there was instilled while playing little league. Work hard, know the game, and go to college. At 14 years old I made the varsity football team as a sophomore. I was playing with juniors and seniors. Recognizing my leadership skills and

commending my work ethic, the coach asked me to be a captain my junior year.

In fall 1991, I walked-on to the University of Tennessee, Knoxville football team. It was the great Johnny Majors last year as the coach. The dream to make it to the NFL was in reach. Performance in the classroom and on the field would be the mission. Living in population would become a problem and I ended up getting dismissed from the team. Heartbroken and disappointed, I returned home after the spring ‘93 semester.

Entering the workforce was something I would be nervous about especially when I had not earned a degree. Making the decision to come home meant giving up on football and resetting a dream I had made since 5th grade. Most people dream and want it done their way, but God has a purpose in your life. It is imperative to hook up to that purpose. I worked moving furniture and pulling orders at a grocery warehouse. The two jobs were taking a toll on my body and I knew I was smarter.

Choosing job after job, dibbling and dabbling, selling,

and using drugs; I was merely existing. I had lost sight of my dreams. No direction or plan while making bad decisions, my life would begin to spiral downward. By 2005, I had my 3rd child by my third kid’s mother and still had not established myself as a man. I was codependent and a womanizer. I would manipulate women to get what I want. Selling drugs was the only avenue I had. It made me feel important, but this choice only worsened the way I was living and soon would destroy my character and any opportunity I had to teach math and coach football.

I could remember two scriptures shared with me as a young boy in church. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Phil 4:13 I press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. - Phil 3:14. Keeping these scriptures close to my heart reminded me I still had a chance. In 2009, I signed up to start college online. The object was to collect the stipends in order to survive, but God had a plan. It was already written. I would do well. By 2012, I earned a Bachelors in Social

Science with an Education concentration. I continued and began a Masters Program, in January 2013. April 28, 2013 would be the day I took initiative to change my life. Your life will not change until you change your life. While working on my Masters I entered a Drug court program that would help with my addiction of 20 years. The program would not only help me get sober but help me expunge my record and gain a pardon. In July 2014 I earned a Masters in Mathematics Instruction. In November 2014, I completed the 18 month drug intervention program. When I graduated from the drug intervention program I entered a recovery house to get my life back together. Learning to become independent, being able to wash my clothes, cook dinner, and clean my room became a norm. Ever since I graduated with my Bachelors I had a support system that was out of this world. My last class was challenging and I ended up in jail. My then girlfriend and now wife would mail my assignments into the jail house. I would complete the assignment, mail it back out, and she would key it in online. I ended up making an “A” in

that class. Giving up is not an option. It is important to know who is there for you. Who will stand with you through it all.

The crushing and the pressing is necessary. God takes you through to get you to. The storm does not always last. The conscious decision to choose Him makes a world of difference in your life. In April 2015, I opened my business, Demadje Painting and Design. I named it after my three girls Desiree, Madison, and Jayla. In October that same year I earned a Project management Certification and established my Company as an LLC. My dad had taught me how to paint at the age of 12 and I figured I would never become a painter. It was the only way I survived for 10 years.

When I figured out how to have a PGI, I was able to create a plan, set some goals, and make sure I had some interventions in place in order to keep moving. Stagnation stinks! It is important to stay in alignment with the vision and whatever comes in your way, allow God to go before you. Not knowing how I would fulfill my dream of coaching and teaching my youngest daughter came to me and

said dad you should volunteer so people can see what you got. I started helping out with a little league team and became Vice President for the organization the same year. My passion was evident. Eventually it would not work out as I was to coach at the middle school. God had a different plan. Before the next season could start I got a call to help out at a brand new charter school. Cleardot Charter School gave me a chance as a volunteer, coaching the Offensive Line. The administrative team found out I had a Masters in Mathematics Instruction and asked me to become a Math interventionist. Two weeks later the Math teacher was let go and I earned the lead Math Teacher position. Now I am the Offensive Coordinator. We are going into our third year and will be playing Junior Varsity.

The journey continues because I am Superintendent of Sunday school and in route to becoming a minister. Although we are all ministers, I intend to go into the community to help our young men become who they were destined to be. Dedication, Determination, Discipline and Drive is what

helped me understand the process. I knew I would get out what I put in. Do not give up on your dream. It belongs to you. It may not be exactly how you envisioned it but it is yours. God gave it to you. Do not be afraid to do what it takes to be connected to your purpose. Life will show up but you must show up for life. Believe, have faith, and do the work.

Dr. Bridget

It Still Belongs To You by The Short Story…

Bridget Fizer is a speaker and lecturer. She has been speaking professionally since 1999. She has a common-sense approach to interpreting the needs of all types of women. Women who are married/unmarried, with/ without children, in business, in school and those who are none of those things at all!

Bridget received her doctorate in 2007 from Latin School of Theology. She completed and received a certified Master Life Strategist and Life Coach certificate from Kairos Institute of Personal Discovery in 2011. Along with her husband, Undrai, she has traveled extensively in ministry and in business. They have experienced an abundance of insight as it relates to personal growth.

Bridget is a Life-Coach, she specializes in helping to merge creative business, creative life, and one’s spiritual/personal life all together. She facilitates and conducts personal retreats, small group coaching sessions, and personal coaching. She also facilitates an academy called “Defining Me Life Academy” which meets once a week for 6 weeks to empower, encourage, and equip for the next move.

Bridget is a Professor at Houston Community College, where she has taught for almost a decade. She teaches beginning students the fundamentals of design as well as advanced students in Tailoring & Couture. She has received numerous awards for her designs and techniques of designs and has received much attention both in the city of Houston and abroad as well as in the state of Texas.

New books, written by Bridget, are available everywhere books are sold. Bridget is married to Undrai and they have three adult sons, Benjamin, Loren, and Zion. She lives, with her family, in Spring, Texas.

Dr. Bridget It Still Belongs To You by

Spiritually attractive people are people who emulate intentional pursuit about their lives of Purpose. They have a way of speaking, imparting, & walking out truth in their lives that shakes all excuses right off you and out of your life. It is a healthy dose of what you would expect but you are also strong enough to not become co-dependent nor leachy.

There is power in having said balance and I understand the power of that leadership dynamic. I have great people in my life that has shown me what it looks like to pursue a Vision and Passion for my life, and I am grateful. I can count them on one hand. They are a quick message or a phone call away and I am very close to each of them.

However, I needed to make sure that as I submit to their authority of Companionship, Mentorship, and Teacher-ship (not a real word!), I also must submit to THE CALL on my life too. Not one leader has

ever asked me to do anything different than that and has always encouraged me to submit to and obey God for my own life!

1) Waiting for Discovery

• Gone are the days where someone tells you how to live your Godcommanded life. As a matter of fact, there has never been a need for that. We’ve just allowed others to dictate the how’s, the when’s, and what for’s of our path. By doing so, we give them the authority to take the blame for anything wrong or incorrect. Looking for affirmation, while in the process of discovering Purpose, from someone is not wrong, it just has its healthy place and it’s up to us to make sure it’s healthy.

2) The Opportunity Falls Through

• One can feel a kind of way when, those that

are important to us, asks us to join them in something important. It can be just to support them by being in the audience or as much as being a partner or colaborer in a personal moment or event. It can be an amazing wow-full opportunity.

• What God has given them and spoken to them is not the same thing that He has spoken to you. And that is okay. And something falling through does not necessarily mean that God is not with you or them. It may just mean that someone else, on the other end did not do their part. Purpose never falls through even when folks, that we don’t have any control over, does. Purpose is what belongs to all of us!

• And because you got excited, and your Purpose Baby leaped in your belly, speaks volumes to your season and how important it is! It also says that there was a connection between you manifesting what God has in you AND you being asked to manifest or be with what you felt

“would” allow you to be important, needed, and ultimately used for His glory. The feelings you felt are yours and belong to you and your Path. Don’t lose sight of that.

3) You’re Not Confused

• You know what you have heard, in your spirit, about who you are to be, what you are supposed to say, and what you were designed to do. You should search out those feelings that you felt about the opportunity seemingly missed. Don’t just feel bad about it not happening, allow it to be a gauge to help you learn where you should go next, in your Path.

• What did the Spirit say to you about the matter? Not to or about them, but to you? If you have not allowed the disappointment of the matter to deter you, you will still be able to hear clear direction. What did you learn? Most things that we learn is from things that failed well and not only things that worked out perfectly.

• There will come a time when YOU are the opportunity for another and some of the things that you felt that God has given you, will possibly fall through. It does not mean that you did not hear from God, and it also does not mean that others connected did not hear either. But what it does mean is that everyone is following the voice of God and you and I both are on our Paths... together. Fall throughs or not. The success is in the listening

So, you say that you have a vision for your life? I believe that you do and now you must believe that you do as well. Never stop pursuing your Vision even though some disappointments must happen.

• Disappointments allow you the experience of expansion to be well rounded and to prepare you for different spaces

• Gives way to having empathy for others so that you can genuinely connect to others and find mutuality in relationships

• Aids in the ability to help others in their Path understand where they are because you too, have understood where you are in yours

It takes courage to believe in yourself, especially when the only experiences you’ve had previously has been when you believed in yourself though the affirming love from another. We must learn to love ourselves without the other person’s approval. Plus, they ain’t even trying to be the person that you want approval from anyway. Sigh! I digress. Many times, we don’t really seek to start out that way, but when we have fallen into the lap of protection, prayer, and support from others so much so...we forget to give that same attention to ourselves.

YOU MADE IT TO THIS POINT! Now what?

WWhat have you truly learned, realized, and called to fruition? Did YOU actually pass, and complete, the Assignment? Did YOU actually experience a Shift in Consciousness and Awareness? How are YOU mentally and spiritually?

So many of us go through transitions, without actually completing the transition. We take with us “the various pieces of incomplete seasons,” and find ourselves interweaving the pieces into “various assignments of importance!” Yet, we end up in nothingness.

Our lives cannot handle another season like this. The lies. The fears. The doubts “mixed with anointing.” The fears of being exposed by the Demands of Life, itself. We can’t do this anymore. It isn’t right!

Did we waste the Journey? Did we produce the Results, based on the time we

invested? Did we truly discover our Purpose? Or, did we simply create another “great idea for the time being?” We made it to this point. Now what?

Have we produced the body of work that correlates with the Time we invested in the Journey? What was so great “that it distracted us from Powers of JOY and FOCUS?”

We are here. NOW!

What will we do with the Moment that we’ve been given? Do you sense that the Divine has entrusted YOU with a particular moment and key?

We are no longer dealing with “haters.” All the folks that need to be cut off, have been cut off. The floor is yours. The Horizon is open. The Timing is Perfect. What will YOU create today?

You are the Presence and Glory of God. YOU should be the experience of a myriad of Wisdom from your own Presence. YOU should find yourself, responding to your literal Presence, with the Utmost Honor. YOU are the living Image of all that is Brilliant in God.

YOU should never “be late for yourself” ever again!

The Empowerment and Inspiration of Going to Counseling

Desiree Gordonby

Counseling saved my life, literally. Back in 2011, when I finally realized that my marriage was quickly deteriorating and becoming a little hostile and more and more dysfunctional, I found myself in a very dark place – I didn’t want to live anymore. The fact that I am writing and sharing this article with you, is living proof that there is empowerment and inspiration in counseling. In fact, writing this article is therapeutic; it has healing powers. So many of us doubt the power of counseling. Why? Why do we avoid one

Cthe most empowering and inspiring life choices and personal change agentscounseling? There are several reasons, and you may have your own - these were mine:

- If I go to counseling, that means I’m crazy.

- I’m a failure.

- I’m a weak individual.

- Black people don’t go to counseling.

- I don’t need it.

- I’ll be judged by a stranger.

- The counselor will share my private information with others.

- I’m better off talking to a spiritual leader.

- I will get better as time goes on - this pain won’t last forever.

- I was taught and believe that no weapons formed against me will prosper.

How many of these reasons resonate with you? All? Some? None? Maybe, you have your own reasons. Let’s explore and explain some of my reasons.

If I go to counseling, that means I’m crazy.

No, sir and no, ma’am. NOT going to counseling will make you crazy, because life can become unbearably

overwhelming at times. Prior to making the decision to leave a loveless and very dysfunctional marriage, I struggled emotionally and especially, mentally. I didn’t know the symptoms of depression, prior to being diagnosed in August 2009, and was still in denial, even after the therapist at the Washington D.C. Veterans Affairs (VA) Hospital told me I was. I remember thinking, “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about” – she knew exactly what she was talking about. In fact, she immediately recommended that I enroll in one of the VA’s mental health programs, where they would prescribe antidepressant medication to help me better cope.

Something about that “M” word, mental, and having to take medication made me feel as if I was broken, fragile, unstable…crazy. I told myself, “There is nothing wrong with me.” So, I declined the help that was being offered to me (at that time), because I didn’t want to be labeled “crazy,” as some family members had insinuated, and sometimes, made me feel that something was wrong with me and that somehow, the dysfunctional marriage that I was in, was

my fault, and I should tough it out and stay for the sake of the kids. No, ma’am and no, sir – THIS IS WHY WE LEAVE, or else, another mental cycle can be created within the children. No parent wants that for their children.

I’m a failure.

I can’t get my life back on track. Everything is wrong in my life. My marriage is a failure. The children are witnessing a hostile and dysfunctional home environment. There was so much arguing. Arguing became the norm, as communication in that house. There was no family normalcy, as mostly it was just my girls and me at home alone. I remember feeling that I was failing my children, as a mother, who was depressed. I remember one evening the entire family sat down at the dinner table to eat dinner, which was very rare, but on this evening, with some convincing, my oldest said, “We are all eating dinner together.” She was so happy. But there were two adults at the table that weren’t so amused, but I wanted so desperately, not to look like a failure to my children. I had to put on a brave face daily,

to not look like a failure. I didn’t go to counseling, because I didn’t want to face a counselor or therapist, only to have them cosign that I was, in fact, a failure. I was so wrong! I have had some amazing counselors on my continuous counseling journey (2014 – present), and they have all been nothing short of encouraging, inspiring, and empowering. I love going to counseling and look forward to going each time.

Black people don’t go to counseling.

Yes, we do, and YES, WE SHOULD, because stress and depression doesn’t discriminate against any race. I am such an advocate for everyone going to counseling, especially someone that looks like me, because there is that stigma hanging over African American or Black’s heads, that our ethnicity does not go to counseling. Some say, “That’s a white people thing.” No, sir and no, ma’am. Counseling is for every race because we all have life changing circumstances that should encourage us to talk to a professional that has been educated and certified to help us when life throws

us those sour lemons. Sure, spiritual counseling from a pastor or other church leader is a good thing; however, I wholeheartedly believe that professional counseling from licensed counselors or therapists is better. Why? They are neutral, trained professionals that will not judge you. They are equipped to provide you with the best advice to help you move forward with your issues and concerns.

All the times I have left my counselor’s office, I felt empowered, simply because I took a problem or situation to my trusted counselor, and in return, she gave me some sound advice and solution(s) to solve my problem(s) – no judgment. What some people don’t realize is, when they talk to family members or friends, seeking help with their problems, there may not be any sworn confidentiality, and the people they confide in, family members and friends, may judge you. A counselor doesn’t do that. The information you share with them is confidential and it’s a true nonjudgmental zone.

Counseling saved my life and many others because it is empowering and inspiring.

Dr. Shwanda Ifeoma Onwuachi

Dr. Onwuachi currently serves as an administrator at San Antonio Preparatory Schools. Her passion to foster mathematical mastery in middle school African American boys led her to research the gaps in math and complete a doctorate in education. Her research study focused on the relevance of culturally relevant pedagogy and its possible connection to African American Boys ability to thrive in math. Dr. O, as she is affectionately known, has written curriculi for African American History for Elementary through High School children in private and charter schools. Her non-profit organization, Triumphant Community Development Corp., partners with school leadership and parents to assist children in closing gaps in math and reading.

Her mission is to ensure that CRP is consistently a part of the curriculum. Her viewpoint is that every child has the capacity to learn when the curriculum draws on the students’ own backgrounds, languages, histories, customs, and experiences. She completed a Doctorate of Education (Curriculum, Instruction and Assessment) at Walden University, Master of Education (Curriculum and Instruction) at Concordia University, and Bachelor of Arts (Business Administration with a Human Resources Concentration) at Saint Leo University. She has been in education for more than 20 years and has served in several capacities; administrator, curriculum writer for African American Studies, curriculum lead for math, classroom teacher, and mentor to first year teachers. Dr. Onwuachi lives in San Antonio, TX. She has one daughter, who is currently a college senior at Our Lady of the Lake University. She can be found on LinkedIn

Shwanda Onwuachi

What is

BLACK?

Dr. Shwanda Onwuachi by

II was sitting at a table at a recent event when a lady who wasn’t black appeared and made the claim that she was indeed a Black woman. Confused, I asked her what makes you black? “She said, “I am from Africa”. By now, I am even more perplexed at her assertion. That conversation led me to explore what it means to be Black.

Is Black a color, a culture, or an experience? To be black to me, a woman of Nigerian and West Indian descent was never a thought that I considered. Growing up with a Nigerian father, it was more about aligning myself with my Igbo culture than being Black. With my West Indian

mum, the purpose was the same. Understanding the cultures I came from was far more important than embracing what seemed to be a rabbit hole.

Is Black a color? When looking through my all knowing Google search, I found black is often described as a hue. You know, like in paint. If I wanted to stretch it a little, and put on my militant hat, black was described as the mother of all colors. Yet in physics and on the light spectrum, black is the absence of color. Why would anyone want to be associated with the absence of anything I pondered. In order to get the answer I was seeking, I had to ask specific questions, and what I found was quite interesting when we dive into, “What is Black?”

Looking at “Blackness”, it can be defined as many things. According to Cassie Darnewood of African American Family Values Black Culture emcompasses, “ values of honesty, integrity and treating their fellow humans with compassion, an attitude that prevails in many modern African American families’ ‘, and thus is key to Black culture. Hmmm, that is not unique to any one culture. So, compassion, prevailing,

honesty and integrity is black culture? The researcher in me believed that I was missing the premise. As I see, Black culture is a vibe, a way of life, a language, a swag, an essence that is often imitated by many, but marginally duplicated. Blackness in Western culture is described with not so many pleasantries. Which leads me to believe, Black is an experience. Let me deep dive into what I mean? There is such a thing as the “Black Experience”.

The Black Experience is how African Americans, namely, experience the world. A recent gallup poll noted the following, “more than a third of Black Americans had experienced unfair treatment in a store while they were shopping. More than one in five reported similar experiences in a restaurant, bar, theater or other entertainment place (Llyod, 2021, Gallup). Moreover, according to Lloyd’s article, “Black Americans are more likely than other groups to report having been on the receiving end of microaggressions, including receiving worse service at restaurants and stores, and people treating them with

fear or with less respect or courtesy than other people. The impact of discrimination at work on Black employees who report having experienced discrimination is heavier than is the case for White employees. Fewer Black employees who were discriminated against are considered “thriving” in their life evaluation ratings than Black employees who did not experience discrimination” (Lloyd, 2021, Gallup).

The Gallup surveys only touched the surface of the Black experience, but gives a sense of how the Black experience aligns with how differently a non-Black appearing person may experience the world, versus a Black American.

My article began with the question: what is black? How I see it, Black is an experience, it is a mindset, it is a consciousness of to be consciously aware of the trials but also how to triumph over them. It is the strength to create a pathway for who are often left behind. It is perseverance to work hard until change is materialized. Albeit that is just one author’s opinion.

Ask yourself is Black a color,

culture, and an experience?

It’s pretty interesting how our environment and experiences may influence our responses.

Social Buffers Reduce Stress Jewel Taylor by

LLoneliness is an epidemic and has been heightened by the historic pandemic.

If I had a dollar for every call or counseling session I have had from; women who are living alone, estranged from family members, missing their core family, exhausted from caregiving, grief from the loss of parents or spouse, never married, never given birth, isolated because of Covid, illness, long working hours, or experiencing high conflict divorces….I could take a nice long cruise to the islands.

As a talk practitioner therapist and the founder of Women on the Grow, Inc. 501c3, a nonprofit outreach for women experiencing adversity, my exposure to the heartaches and problems that many women face is worrisome and on the increase. We live in a time when the mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual crises that individuals and families are facing...are right in front of our faces through social media, tell-all books, podcasts, and television.

My family is small, and we’ve had our fair share of divorces, family disputes, being spread across many locations, blended families, and parents

who stepped up! There are many types of families…

· Nuclear Families - A nuclear family is two adults with at least one child. ...

· Single-Parent Families. In a single-parent family, there is only one adult who is raising children. ...

· Blended Families (StepFamilies) ...

· Grandparent Families....

· Childless Families. ...

· Extended Families. ...

· Your Turn.

Family isn’t always blood family. Opening my heart to foster and invest in extended family ties has been one of my remedies. I appreciate hearing from my ladies in our tribe that our activities and relationships are heartwarming, real, consistent, comforting, and safe for many of the women. So many times they report they have found solace and compassion that they didn’t have in their family. They are missing having a sister/sibling, a mother, grandmother, or a caring friend. Instead of feeling rejected, lonely, disconnected, or heartache... so many ladies in our tribe have created extended

families. We are very intentional about creating, curating memories via travel, retreats, weekly virtual classes, sending out greeting cards, visiting each other, offering transportation for medical appointments, celebrating each other’s birthdays, and accomplishments, as well as being emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes financially available during the sad and difficult times.

Just like healthy food and exercise, family/friends should be considered an essential investment in your health. Maintaining healthy social buffers is critical to our well-being. Those around us have an impact on our physiological feelings and emotions. When we are threatened and have no one nearby who makes us feel secure, our emotions (such as fear and terror) may rise, but we are less inclined to express how we feel.

Emotions alter emotions. A positive emotion has the power to alter a negative one. Compassion and forgiveness may transform sentiments of rage or disgust into feelings of safety and tranquility.

Our bodies, surroundings,

people around us, and other cognitive processes all have an influence on how we express our emotions. Relationships and your community are like buffers to smooth you out of the rough seasons and polish you up to cope and survive the harshness, uncertainties, and sadness that life can bring. Your relationships, connections, and spiritual community are your primary sources of health and happiness in your emotional life. Your relationships and sense of belonging reinforces your sense of identity, builds your self-esteem, decreases your stress levels, and can fill you up when you feel empty of faith, joy, and encouragement. During the pandemic, so many people felt disconnected, lost, alone, vulnerable, and fearful. Your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health are at risk when you don’t have healthy and consistent connections.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made by God to be social creatures. When stress, sickness, trouble, loss, death, and setbacks knock on your door…your social buffers can help you survive, heal, grow, and overcome the hardships. Because I had my

“social buffers” around me when my son passed away from cancer, I believe I was able to survive that horrible pain because I felt soothed, comforted, seen, and prayed for by my social connections (my buffers). I do not seek pity from my personal pain or losses because they awakened gratitude, joy, compassion, resilience, and passion within me to continue teaching others great life lessons.

During this pandemic, I made a conscious decision to remain connected to my friends, family, and Women on the Grow tribe. I made calls, sent cards, text messages, etc. Every week, since April 2020, each Sunday, many women in my tribe, and new faces show up in my signature zoom room. This is my master class empowHERment study group, up close and personal ...The Diamond INNERversity.

Don’t allow the hard days to win. The right “social buffers” can help to reduce your stress and sense of isolation. This positive experience promises to sharpen and polish up your faith, confidence, progress, peace, purpose, and gratitude. Remember, iron sharpens iron.

Liberated Woman Elevating Self-Care

Yetta Youngby

II thought I was crying for my friend Denise, who had just shared her testimony in front of a circle of fifty women at the Women on the Grow Retreat. She had shared some hard, authentic and vulnerable truths about herself as a mother and where she needed to improve. I could relate. I couldn’t stop weeping. Although I was trying to cry ‘silently,’ my entire body was in a state of convulsions. Women started passing the tissue boxes down my way as my friend consoled me. She asked, “Do you want to go up and share your testimony?” I shook my head no and through the tears, silently mouthed, “I’m scared.”

“I’ll go with you,” she assured me while raising her hand and proclaiming, “Yetta wants to share!”

That retreat was a huge part of my self-care. In fact, Denise and I had both had strokes in our 40’s. I was 47 and she was 45 and it was during my 8-day hospitalization that I had written off self-care as I knew it. My recovery depended on me disrupting the narrative that self-care was just pampering, pedicures and prosecco. I needed a radical self-care plan that would

liberate me from my own self-imposed limitations. The kind of self-care that would take me into the shadows of my deepest fears. The kind of self-care that would be a refuge and would bring me back to myself, renewed, restored and healed.

I also began exploring ‘community care’ as the backdrop to my self-care and how the two complimented each other. I became more active in Jewel Diamond Taylor’s Women on the Grow group, which she curated as a wholistic incubator for women to reflect, renew and rejuvenate.

As I approached the middle of the circle, weeping, I could barely speak. My friend kept her promise and stood behind me, like the ladies do in church, to catch you if you fall. Through barely inaudible words, I shared with them about not taking up space and how I was still learning to trust myself. Denise, had my back and I could feel Jewel, off to the side, holding me up spiritually – like they had done on other occasions.

“I’m newly in love and I want to be 100% authentic with him. When do I tell him that because of my medication,

I’ve lost all of my hair?” I asked the ladies rhetorically. This morning he called me on video and for the first time, I answered. God told me that “NOW” is the time to share and I did. At that moment, I unconsciously reenacted my conversation with him and removed my wig in front of the 50+ ladies. It was an outof-body experience.

EVERY lady in that room was moved to their feet. They closed ranks around me and the circle got smaller, while others waited in line to hug and love on me.

As I heard the African drums come through the speakers, Jewel shouted, “LIBERATION!” and started to dance. I danced a little as the ladies waited in line to affirm me:

• “You are beautiful.”

• “Honey, you should be on the cover of Vogue!”

• “You freed me today, Yetta” as she took off her scarf to reveal her shiny beautiful head, bald from chemotherapy.

• “I’m not ready to date because I’m afraid to show anyone my

alopecia, but I thank you for giving me the courage, should I change my mind.”

• And of course, many asked, “Well, what did he say when you showed him your hair?”

They danced around me, hugged and affirmed me until my tears dried.

Although I haven’t quite found the courage to unveil publicly like I did with my sister cohorts, what I discovered that day was a healing balm that was sooooo needed for my soul.

Dr. Yetta Young is a producer, director and playwright and she creates sacred spaces for women to connect and heal. She attends 1-2 retreats per year for restoration, renewal and fun.

She is a self-care advocate and Chief Scent Curator of Incense, Love & Meditation, premium self-care products, curated as a therapeutic

creatives,

those seeking to vibrate higher.

IG: @IncenseLoveMeditation

FB: Yetta Young

“Carrying and caring for everyone else requires that you be intentional about being carried and cared for, too. It requires a new pace and sacred space to go within.”

– Veronica Very Self-care is a beautiful act of loving you back to you. It is not a selfish pursuit, but the very tool that can be used to liberate you.

ritual for

healers and

Lolita McNeal

certified Life Coach through Life Purpose Coaching Centers International. A certified Health and Wellness Coach with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology. An ordained minister and proud veteran of the USAF. I currently reside in Lilburn, GA with my husband of 27 years, my three amazing adult children, and two handsome grandsons.

Greetings beautiful readers, my name is Lolita McNeal. I am a woman with a burning passion to see women living their best lives by walking in the authenticity and fullness of who they truly are. This

passion led me to start my life changing business, Walking in Wellness. Through my business, I educate, empower, and equip women to live a life of physical, mental, and spiritual abundance. I am a

My desire is that the following words encourage and empower you to do the work to be the true you. To show up shining in the beautiful glow of authenticity. There is something empowering about showing up as your authentic self and saying, “take me or leave me but this is who I am.” Authenticity brings freedom and power. Merriam-Webster defines authentic as: based on fact, not false or imitation, real, actual, true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character. Empowerment as: The process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.

AUTHENTICITY PROCEEDS AND LEADS TO EMPOWERMENT

By Lolita McNeal

How can you operate in authenticity if you do not know who you truly are? I challenge you to do the work to become an expert in the care and keeping of you. Spend time getting to know you, the real you. The good, bad, and ugly you. The you that is still hurting, you that shines brightly. Your likes, dislikes, fears, hopes, and dreams. You in all your complexity.

It sounds quite simple; I am sure many believe they have already arrived in their authenticity. My question to you is, when was the last time you did a deep dive into understanding you? Sat down and intentionally did a soul evaluation. In addition,

different seasons of life call for a re-evaluation as they can alter who we are. Seasons like motherhood, marriage, and menopause to name a few. Self-knowledge is not a one and done, I encourage you to be a lifelong student of yours. No one should know you better than you know yourself, except for the One who created you.

If you are one who is genuinely in tune with yourself, are you making decisions and living your life according to what is best for you? It can be easy to lose sight of you and go with what is popular and trending. This robs you of power, blurs your purpose, and leads to regret. When you flow in authenticity

your gift makes room for you. Opportunities come, doors open, and you are at peace. Let the work begin

Find a quiet place where you will have uninterrupted time to reflect. Having a journal and pen is a good idea as you want to keep a record of what you discover. If you do not know where to begin, I encourage you to answer the following questions:

1. What are your strengths and weaknesses?

2. What are your values?

3. What are you passionate about?

4. How would you describe your ideal life? Is it similar to the life you currently live?

5. What are you concerned about?

6. What do you like to do for fun?

7. What triggers you and why?

8. What makes you happy? Unhappy?

You can come up with your own questions or just freestyle. The main thing is setting aside the time and putting in the work to come to a greater understanding of

self. It is not enough to know what you do; the real flex is in understanding why you do it. In not just understanding what bothers you, but why it bothers you.

Bringing you back into focus

Once you lose sight of yourself, your dreams, ideas, and goals often fall by the wayside. I urge you to bring you back into focus. That will empower you to revive your dreams, dust off your creativity, and understand how remarkable you really are. Don’t get me wrong, focusing on you will not only reveal the great things but the not-so-great things as well. Guess what? That’s okay. I have personally asked myself, “Why did you respond like that?” and I haven’t always liked the answer. This allowed me to deal with myself and improve. That is powerful.

One of the best things about knowing who you are is knowing who you are not. Staying true to what you know will bring greater fulfillment, better use of your time, allow you to confidently say no, minimize regrets, and bring you closer to your purpose.

Will you join me on this journey of greater awareness

and understanding of self?

You are absolutely worth the work! I challenge you to take the next 3 months and become an expert in the care and keeping of you. I am cheering you on and looking forward to seeing you walking unapologetically as your authentic, purposeful, and empowered self!

In love, Lolita

McNeal

Tell Us About You

Greetings, my name is Veronica Simon, I am the biological daughter of Sherri Scott and John Howell, with my maternal grandparents as my legal parents. Which simply means that my grandparents raised me as their very own, placing me in a position where I have been blessed to carry several categories of existence within my maternal family. My aunts and uncles are also my sisters and brothers, my cousins are my cousins and my nieces and nephews. And on my biological father’s side, I am a sister to one sister and two brothers, a grand-daughter, niece, cousin and daughter

to my siblings’ mother. I was born in Kingstree, SC and raised in a small rural area (Nesmith, SC), attended school in Hemingway, SC., possess two degrees and several professional certifications to include being a certified life and leadership coach with the classification of being an Empowerment Coach simply because I am a People Enthusiast who desires for others to put first things first, which would be to focus on themselves.

I am a corporate professional with an extensive background in professional services, data management and customer engagement, the founder of a nonprofit organization, wife, mother of 4 and 1 fur baby. I have a trademark brand, Be You Boo™, that I am looking forward to working with my youngest daughter to create designs, etc. as she pursues her fashion endeavors in LA and abroad.

TAKE US ON A FLASHBACK JOURNEY... SHARE YOUR STORY

As a little girl, I knew that I was extremely special simply because of the structure of my family and the intense support to have so many who loved, protected and provided

for me. I was the little girl that many times felt like there was a tsunami of love as if there was something that was trying to be covered up only to find out that it was to ensure that I never missed or needed to question whether I was missing anything or not.

My teen mom and father use to have to sneak around for my father to have the opportunity to spend time with me when I was a baby, unfortunately with me being so young, I don’t have any memories of those times. Their parents made an arrangement that my mom and dad would stay away from each other, and I would be solely raised as my maternal grandparents’ child to dismiss any confusion of my belonging. I’m sure there are many stories like mine, yet I find my story being filled with love though there was separation/distance between my father and I until after I became a certain age.

My father and his wife (Ma), had several pictures of me when I was younger with them but I unfortunately don’t have many memories of those times but I do recall receiving a Happy 16th birthday call with my father on the line. I remember it

very clearly because I felt like I was betraying daddy (my grandfather whom I only saw as my dad), and honestly never questioned how we were aligned as a family because I never missed a beat of being loved unconditionally by anyone in my family. After the 16th birthday call is when I started making memories with my biological dad and the rest of his family. It felt strange but I also had a sense of belonging. My mom’s side was different because they were always in my life and that is what I know the most. My father’s side of the family, I became close with key people and normally only gravitated towards them because they would be the ones that I was around the most. Otherwise, I didn’t know how to really fit in other than to be the well behaved and loved person that I am naturally.

I am grateful and beyond blessed to have SIBLINGS via my dad, while being the oldest of the four of us. I took that title with much big sisterly pride. Just evident that I love, loving others and building my family. My siblings are blessings for me because I didn’t want to be an only child, I wanted what I

saw others have and though it was given to me in a different extended form with me being the baby girl of my maternal grandparent’s children legally, I craved to have younger siblings, too. The bigger the family, the Bigger the Blessing, Right?!?

Can you take us on a little journey, identify what you have experienced that may be a problem & a solution?

Sure! First and foremost, being the product of teen parents is not a problem (I wouldn’t classify my existence as a problem) yet an area where I believe that more mental, along with other support is needed/desired to encourage those parents and their children to never give up on their dreams and each other.

Being that I am the product of a teen mom and the structure that was formalized to ensure that I would never lack for anything was a divine blessing. Every teen parent (mother & father) doesn’t have the opportunity to experience that kind of support. One that gave me the freedom to love and to share the kind of love that my

family has not only shared with me but with others as well. They were community activist who obtained several awards from Williamsburg county for their community involvement, etc. It felt like my mom, and I were raised together, and I became her guardian as she was my light to encourage me to be myself no matter what and I was her light of reminding her of how well she did because she could have made a different choice.

In knowing my story and realizing that not every teen mom, nor their offspring has experienced the same, I wanted to share and help to create an inspiring environment that would encourage other teen parents and their children through my nonprofit organization which is entitled, “Mothers Of Virtue”. I desired for other teen moms to be inspired to not give up on their dreams, to meet other moms that weren’t teen moms, yet women who were destined to come along side them without criticism and love them to life, like I have always been loved.

Mothers Of Virtue was created as a lifeline, and the target audience initially was

just teen moms and then it expanded to all mothers whether it be an auntie, friend who may have never had children but stood in the gap as a mom to offer unwavering support and love to others. I have experienced the same love from other women who have not had any children towards me and their love is just as divinely potent to love one to life. And there is no doubt that it is a two way bond as I can definitely share of the many women whom have and still count me as their own and I theirs. I am grateful to be so very blessed and I want to share that kind of love with others through MOV.

How does your story equate to Empowerment?

Oh my, you just opened a pandora’s box. Just kidding but you did provide me with the invitation of the question to showcase MY Strength! Thank you!

Let me start with what Empowerment means to me. Empowerment means, I AM POWERFUL! If I were to tap inward and take the time to discover, know and become who I am the base of my power would be LOVE! And as

my own personally testimony, I AM LOVE, personified. Opening doors, creating seats at tables or yet, building tables as I do via my retreats affords the opportunity for women to become stronger and confident in who they are as a part of their innate right!

And to dig in even more for anyone, while pulling from my moral/spiritual background, If we don’t stand and execute on the new commandment, which to me is indeed the greatest commandment of all, LOVE, “John 13:34, A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”, we will continue to cause separation amongst each other and not just by the color of our skin or the division of our social status but by our falsifications that we have been taught to believe versus to dig in and glean for ourselves that which is true versus what is false. Man/Woman can and will lead you to falter if you aren’t wise enough to dig in and do the work and not be afraid to stand up for the fact that WE ARE HUMAN, regardless of race, social, economic, sexuality status, etc… EVERY ONE, EVERY SINGLE PERSON deserves to

be loved and respected. We can all use a dose of humility and DIVINE INTERVENTION to BE THE CHANGE THAT WE WANT TO NOT ONLY SEE BUT EXPERIENCE on this side of the grave, and for me that change is to BE THE LOVE that inspires, encourages, empowers others to be free to be exactly who they are without apology as long as it is not a plot to kill, steal and destroy the essence/life of another.

I was raised with the infamous Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I HAVE A DREAM” speech as a light unto my path. And my auntie took me to the King center on many occasions when I was younger, and as I got older, I would go on my own and experienced several of his birthday celebrations when I lived in Atlanta. His dream wasn’t just his dream, His dream is a collective dream of others who are not just dreaming but still pressing forward to the fulfillment of a dream that has inspired many other dreams…

MOV (Mothers Of Virtue) was being conceptualized while I was in my mother’s womb, it is a part of my DNA and though on several occasions, I have tried to lay my staff

down as a shepherd, yet my spirit won’t allow it because LOVE IS WHO I AM even on occasion when I question myself. I AM AN EMPATH, a low-key extrovert as I am a lover and protector by nature. I know the human factor that many speak about yet half heartedly arise to the occasion. Our human factor is not just a myth or a marketing ploy, WE ARE HUMAN, NO doubt and if we do our parts as individuals, we will collectively get to a point of becoming the focus through the lens of LOVE over everything!

What’s the ultimate message that you want to drive home?

You can’t give what You don’t possess. You must learn how to focus on you until you become the focus, which will lead you to #DKB: Discovering, Knowing and Becoming who YOU ARE… YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF!

What do you offer to your audience?

I offer myself through books that have been published, social media blitz and the hosting of intimate, engaging encounters via retreats which have evolved over the years, after every experience. I went

from being extremely rigid with the structure, layout to free flowing as I am led by the spirit. With a Masters in Project Management an emphasis on IT development, data and leadership, being structured was deeply ingrained due to my career path yet it became evident as I continued to create instances for the retreats that I needed to fall back and just allow a natural flow because it was needed to help others to decompress.

My retreats went through several iterations over the years and honestly, I have been in awe of meeting some amazing women. The concept of the retreats is for women, from any walk of life to join me via the invitation to: Relate, Relax and Release… while checking their titles and anything at the door that would hinder them from being fully present.

Relate: We are all women as the common denominator

Relax: Take the time to unpack

Release: Let go of the toxins which are hindering you

The retreats went from

Mothers of Virtues’ Relate, Relax and Release Retreats to the Still I Rise Retreats with the 3 Rs still as the guiding structure/factor for all…

Are your retreats just for women?

I knew that was going to become a question. Yes, they are just for women.

Would you consider hosting one for men?

Honestly, I would love to. With the thought of my biological father and what he experienced as a teen father, I would love to honor him as I am honoring my mom to assist with bringing the same support as a daddy’s girl. Fathers are just as important to their children as mothers, and quite honestly, I was surrounded by so much love, I didn’t miss any genuineness of love because I was engulfed by a tsunami from those who were very present.

Why Still I Rise?

Our life is our individual journey, and it will continue until it ends. Along the journey there will be many different terrains to navigate and as sure as we are human, we will experience valley moments. The pivoting point is to remember that as you

descend, you will have the opportunity to ascend while remembering that it is all about how you decide to navigate as the person at the helm of your journey. Like the concept of you being the author of your story.

The ’Still I Rise’ renaming of the retreats is simply to say, “No matter what you encounter, go through, YOU CAN STILL RISE!”

The 3Rs require your commitment of being INTENTIONAL!

How can the community stay connected to you or follow you?

www.facebook.com/veronica. simon.969

www.linkedin.com/in/ veronica-simon-b718011/

Photo: Rebecca Kuritz

ANN & VERONICA SIMON

EXCLUSIVELY INTERVIEW WITH Guest Editor-in-Chief

AGELESS, A Boudoir ExpEriEncE For WomEn ovEr 40

I was 48 when I dared to embark on becoming a part of Ann Landstrom’s project while thinking to myself, “Have you lost your ever loving mind… though you (Veronica) may think this is a good thing, it just may be another thing to keep you from progressing forward…” THAT was just another ‘STINKIN THINKIN’ thing that I’ve allowed to keep me in the boundaries of how I believed others expect/ expected me to adhere to versus being free to enjoy every facet of who I am. Our bodies change, at least for some of us if not all of us. LOL! And though we experience physical changes doesn’t mean that we aren’t the same. My essence whether I am a cool 124 lbs (NO desire to ever be that small again) versus a still radiant 170lbs (Definitely not a healthy weight for me frame), I AM STILL THE SAME!

How interesting that some of us will DENY ourselves for the sake of others not to be offended or uncomfortable as if we don’t have the FREEDOM or right to be exactly who we are!

Below are a few of the interview questions that Ann posed to me and my responses:

ANN: Did you fulfill your “Why” during your photo session? And what was your experience?

Veronica: I definitely fulfilled my why in the photo session, which was to dare to do something different, to capture the different facets of my essence, this time with much

less clothing as a cover. My experience was like none other, and I have taken plenty of pictures and have quite the portfolio yet this one felt more like my inner child saying, ‘BE FREE, BE YOU... ALL OF YOU!’ The ambiance of the setting, the intimacy and endearment of the photographer with whom I have already experienced was able to capture my essence, the same essence that she has captured on many occasions except for there were more clothing involved.

ANN: What does beautiful look like to you? When do you feel most beautiful?

Veronica: Beautiful to me is a person’s essence. It is that part of a person that shines through no matter what they may wear as you recognize their beauty; however, they opt to show up with or without clothes. I feel MOST beautiful when I feel free to be myself. My beauty is in some aspects of my power forward business suits versus lingerie to be honest. When I am not bothered or concerned about needing to be something or someone that someone else may be expecting to see, that is not me being my authentic self.

ANN: Why did you sign up for this project?

Veronica: I signed up because I wanted to execute that sexy, sassy, flirty side of myself at first as I have always tried to downplay that side of me, which is truly my playful, innocent, I just love me side. Yet it can be defined differently via the lens of others. I pondered over it after signing up and realized that it was going to go hand in hand with my BeYouBoo!™ branding that I was working on with another photographer. The two together would complete the full picture of MePhiMe. MePhiMe for me, means being free to be myself! Why should I have to succumb and consider how others will perceive me versus me being fully confident and loving ALL of who I am without an intent of being a distraction. While keeping in mind that I am desiring to be MY FOCUS. Focusing on Me Until I Become My Focus. It is liberating!

Ann: Would you recommend this experience to other women?

Veronica: I would MOST definitely recommend this experience to other women. It

is a body positivity experience to embrace all of YOU from the lens of an Essence capture photographer. It is like being introduced to yourself from an INNER reveal experience.

ANN: What is stopping you from tapping into your feminine essence every day?

Veronica: The thing that WAS stopping me from tapping into my feminine essence every day was being concerned about how I would be perceived. I didn’t want to become a distraction and I wanted to be taken seriously and not as if I were a flirt because of how things are sexualized, heck even if a person were wearing a paper bag. Or anything that may place a woman in a space of belittlement as if she can’t be beautiful and SMART with and without all the layers, too.

ANN: What did you learn from this jump out of my comfort zone opportunity?

Veronica: I learned that I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and that I AM MY OWN KIND OF BEAUTIFUL, with and without clothes. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and I AM THE BEHOLDER OF MY OWN BEAUTY!

ANN: What’s your biggest risk in sharing your photo with your friends and family?

Veronica: My biggest risk is not wanting to put myself in a position of receiving unflattering comments, to be judged because of how others would perceive my appearance, giving critics more power than my own voice that could place me in the tailspin of ‘STINKIN THINKIN’ due to how certain (MOST) industries perceive beauty via body types, complexion, hair, height, etc… The list appears to be exhaustive, yet most of what is showcased is a polished, version and not very authentic, natural in its truest form that equates to the beauty industries’ standards.

ANN: What was the biggest success of your photo session?

Veronica: I became more aligned with loving ALL of me. I couldn’t stop thinking about how powerful I felt while being so free as my total self. The reveal of the pictures immediately after the photoshoot were ABSOLUTELY STUNNING. I didn’t just see the outer appearance, I saw my essence and SHE WAS/IS ABSOLUTELY

STUNNING!

ANN: What were you telling yourself the night before your session?

Veronica: A better question may have been what wasn’t I telling myself as I was saying a whole lot of stuff in my head to myself, which was mostly negative self-talk. Yet, the most motivating part was when I shared with my daughters who were 14 and 19 at the time about the experience that I was about to embark upon. They were so proud of me, they wanted to experience it with me by being with me. My oldest was able to be at the session with me and to watch her approval and to experience her support EMPOWERED ME beyond words. I was this child’s mother, a wife, a Pastor’s wife, Ministers’ daughter, Corporate professional, founder of a nonprofit org to help Moms (women and especially teen moms), and a product of a teen mom... WOW! LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH!

ANN: How does it make you feel to share your story publicly?

Veronica: I feel empowered to EMPOWER other women to stop hiding behind their own limiting beliefs and what

may be the straight jacket beliefs of others who are also enslaved. It is not until YOU can release yourself to be yourself that you are able to help others to set themselves free to be who they are destined to be. Focus on You, Until You Become the Focus and allow your path to unfold as you give yourself grace and permission to JUST BE YOU!

It was a great experience, one in which I would encourage any woman/anyone to embark upon. A SUPER PROJECT to help women to not only see themselves but to dare to embrace the beauty which is UNIQUELY WHO THEY ARE! It provides the opportunity for the individual to bring oneself into focus with the right photographer behind the lens without the shame of judgment that has the tendency to plague many.

Kudos to Ann Landstrom of Ann Photography for creating such a project for ANYONE!

Ann Photography www.annphotography.com

info@annphotography.com

Torsha Salley Anderson

enjoys sharing information effectively, responding to participant questions, and leading activities that reinforce learning for personal or professional development.

Torsha is the oldest of four children, and the only girl. Torsha is the proud mother of one eight-year-old daughter, MaKinsey. Torsha’s hobbies include spending time with family and friends, baking, traveling, swimming, motivating others, and sitting alone in thought.

Torsha earned her Masters of Science in Human Service with a concentration in Organization, Management, and Leadership from Springfield in 2012. Torsha also earned her Bachelors of Art in Public Affairs in 1995. Torsha also earned her certification in Training of Trainers and

Torsha has worked in the Human Service field for over twenty-five years in the private and public sectors of South Carolina working with youth and their families to improve accessibility and coordination of services to assist in the improvement of the overall quality of life of service populations. Currently, Torsha is the County Director of Colleton County Director with South Carolina Department of Juvenile Justice. Torsha believes that it is important to be a “change agent” who enjoys sharing information which allows people to draw on their own strengths and realize their potential to live a fulfilling, happy life regardless of their situation. We are all servants in one form or another promoting compassion and support to help others to learn and thrive.

RESONATING

ONESELF WITH Torsha Salley Andersonby

contemplate, including spiritual hope. Bear in mind, hope is one of the few farbetween virtues that will stand the test of time.

Walking in Obedience

We desire to have an exchange of positive energy with others where we feel: appreciated, understood, loved, and united through our connections. Sometimes we do not allow ourselves to ever obtain the most rewarding element of life, which is self-love. This is so because we are constantly running and distracting ourselves. The instant our intuition acknowledges that we need to go inward we run.

At times, receiving joy from obeying God does not seem to make sense because the thought of obedience brings images of limitations, rules, principles, and willingness to

follow. When I finally decided to allow God to have his way with me, I can openly say, I certainly found it to be joyful to walk in obedience. Even though there are times that it is just difficult navigating the path, He (God) keeps his promise to always be with me. The beautiful thing about this newfound obedience is it has created a joy that can permeate our soul and fill it with happiness. Grounding oneself in this type of joy despite the fear of not doing the right thing, He will always set me straight if I slipped along the way.

Hope

Finding hope required me to look for hope in places that I did not previously

One day when I was having one of my moments where I felt lost, alone, that no one understood where I was coming from, I was reminded that He who waits on the Lord shall have renewed strength (Isaiah 40:31). Renewed strength, which gave me a new sense of hope to carry with me as I embarked on my journey. Every day, I reminded myself of this hope, and slowly but surely it became clearer to me that I needed to pour the same hope I poured into my clients, family, friends, etc., I needed to pour into myself. The more I began to strengthen my hope the fewer dark days and feeling trapped by circumstances. At that moment, I could begin to reclaim my desire to envision my future through a new lens and humbly acknowledge the

need for surrendering and letting go of control.

Deciding to remain steadfast in hope allowed me to look forward to the future with thoughts of self because I had a lifetime to go and I never wanted to have that feeling of losing myself again, especially since forever is a long time.

Faith

Surrendering to the work God does within us is not in vain because it brings greater awareness of his glory. Testing one’s faith produces perseverance. We live in him, and he lives in us, unifying us for love, therefore, selflove is not selfish. It is about bonding to one’s deepest needs, exalting the autonomy of being You, and honoring who you truly are.

Learning to love me again was magical— a divine relationship that helped me to improve all aspects of my life without sacrificing myself to please others and not settling for less than I deserved. Taking back ownership of my well-being and happiness is priceless. Though self-love is different for each person it is well worth the investment to figure out what that looks like for you as an individual

because it is a critical part of one’s mental health. Accepting oneself as you are in that moment means you have accepted your emotions for what they are and put your physical, mental, and emotional well-being first.

When we are grounded in the word of God, we can extend ourselves to others. Prayers, study, and action are key to making new habits stick and offer dedicated support because they set free old patterns of thought and behavior which are related to restricting beliefs and confined emotions.

Joy

Following Him was not an alternative to my joy; I can say that it is the secret to it. Obedience to God continually brings peace and joy to my heart which fueled my journey with self-love and strengthening my foundation. The instant we begin loving ourselves, we experience positive shifts with great ease. Our relationships and health improve. Therefore, life starts to feel good again.

As my self-love journey expanded, I was able to recognize what was and was not beneficial for me. To create a loving relationship

with myself, I had to recognize my needs because, without self-love, I would continue to dismiss my needs by ignoring them while prioritizing the needs of others. I said goodbye to codependency so I could develop into the person I strive to be. I no longer felt the need to seek happiness outside of myself, because I realized that I would not find it. It was in me the entire time.

The more love you show yourself, the better you feel and the better you feel, the happier you can become. We can only run for so long until we realize that we must stop, look into the mirror, and truly see what we are running from and take a stance to choose ourselves. I have decided to continue to practice self-love by being kind, understanding, gentle, patient, and compassionate to myself which is the way I would love someone else that I care about. And at that moment, you can say: I see you; I know you, and you are Me – God’s Servant.

Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright, 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Natalyn Randle

of SELF-LOVE THE POWER

Natalyn Randleby

At the age of 49, I made the decision to become a better person. Self-love was something I always wanted, but I had no clue how to get started. I knew I had to put in the inner work to make it happen. I remember praying to God in November 2010 for God to help me on my spiritual awakening and selfworth journey.

So, I took a chance and bet 110% on myself to find the JOY I was entitled to. It was terrifying to realize I needed to peel back so many layers of hurt, pain, unforgiveness, darkness, hate, distrust, and so on. Taking one step at a

time on my life journey has led me to discover my inner self, my self-worth, my selfpride, and most importantly, my self-love. You never know where taking a risk will lead you. God has truly blessed me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally as a result of my inner healing.

My healing has inspired me to write my third book, “TEMPLE TIME: 7 STEPS TO SELF-LOVE”. This book is a guide to spiritual awakening and inner peace. In this book, I discussed the following:

Spiritual Awakening: This is the process of evolving into a higher level of consciousness and becoming deeply aware of oneself.

Mindset: Changing your mindset is a critical step toward happiness and peace of mind. Quieting down my mind helped me to sort my thought process.

Healing: I remember fasting for 31 days in early 2017. During this time, I was able to re-evaluate some deep wounds that I had buried deep within myself, and this resulted in reconciliation and restoration. Healing myself provided me with a renewed sense of meaning and purpose.

Transform: This required me to rebuild, rethink, restore, rebook, and re-evaluate my inner being. This process was laborious and required me to be persistent while keeping my guard up.

Elevate: I became a better version of myself once I reached this stage in my life. I was aware that I was above everything that had happened to me in the past.

Gratitude: Gratitude was the phase in my life when I truly learned to appreciate life as it is. I let go of so many things and started enjoying myself in the moment. I refused to let a few setbacks derail my momentum. With hope and gratitude, I was able to reach

my true potential. Practicing gratitude transformed and improved many aspects of my life, from mental health to strengthening relationships with family, friends, and business associates. Finally, I encourage you; don’t be afraid to say YES to yourself first. Don’t be afraid to STOP and reboot. Don’t be afraid to RESET, and most importantly, PRAY about everything. I learned forgiveness, self-worth, self-love, gratitude, and how to be strong in the face of adversity by embarking on this journey. I discovered how to be a better version of myself. It took some time, but I eventually realized that I am worthy of love, kindness, happiness, comfort, and success. I encourage you to do the INNER WORK because it is the INNER WORK that will set you free!

CEO/FOUNDER, BLACK BUSINESS WOMEN ROCK!

Dr. Natalyn E. Randle

by MONEY & LEGACY –WHY IT’S MISSING FROM MOST BLACK FAMILIES

Andre Parker

When you hear the term money and legacy, what immediately comes to mind?

Growing up with a black single mom in the projects, a couple of things come to my mind: Money, we didn’t have any. Legacy was a picture of some relative in a dusty photo album that I knew nothing about. For most black Americans, money and legacy are missing. Well, at least the positive effects of the two are missing. A 2019 Survey of Consumer Finances shows the following:

White families have the highest level of both median and mean family wealth with $188,200 median and $983,400 mean family wealth, respectively. While black families have a median wealth of $24,100

and mean family wealth at $142,500, respectively. It also shows white families are substantially more likely to receive inheritances, gifts, and other family support than black families. 29.9% of white families receive an inheritance over 10.1% of black families.

The disparities in wealth are huge, but what can we do about it? It starts with you and your family. We can continue to find excuses, or we can finally become empowered to make the changes we need to when it comes to our money and legacy. Poverty is not only a vicious cycle, it’s a perpetual mindset that haunts black families. It’s going to take an army of change agents to help change this narrative within our community.

THE FIRST STEP

Your super power is your self-awareness. Many of us don’t see the problem until it’s too late. We learn money the hard way, like when the lights get cut off, when we don’t have enough to pay the rent/mortgage, or when the car gets repossessed. When the question is asked, “who taught you about money?” Most people typically say, no one did. The truth is that your environment did. Your money habits are typically passed down from things you’ve learned as a child from society, your parents, friends, and other family members. This subconscious money program runs deep to the point where you aren’t even aware it’s happening. Whenever the word money comes up or different situations come up around money, pay attention to how you start to feel emotionally. Once you identify the feelings, start observing what thoughts you are thinking about when it comes to money. This is your Money EQ. By far, this is the most important part you have to work on at first. You’ll start to discover whether you are happy, sad, depressed, or angry over money. Once you

start to become aware of old money habits, you can now spot your mental or emotional patterns around money. Believe it or not, this has nothing to do with how much money you actually have or don’t have, but it has everything to do with your deeply rooted beliefs around money.

Once this is done, now you can swap those old beliefs and upgrade to beliefs that serve you better when it comes to your money and legacy. Swapping those old disempowering beliefs to more empowering beliefs will shift your mindset to a more positive one and emotionally you’ll start to feel more powerful. Before you can move to

this level of empowerment, you must learn how to heal from past personal, family, and cultural money wounds. If you are always concerned about what happened in the past, you will be dancing with ghosts all your life. Don’t kill the messenger over the message.

Wasting energy on blaming your parents, your culture, or even yourself for past mistakes stops your money flow. Today is a new day. It’s

the day that you begin to dance with life, your present moment. You can only fix your life in this present moment and this is why the present is a gift.

Your legacy will be based upon what you start doing today for your family, and it will affect future generations to come. Imagine if someone from your family in the past sacrificed for your legacy today? Think about how that may play out financially? Imagine not having to borrow money for college or to start your business? Imagine not having to borrow money for a down payment on your first house? These are just some of the things a financial legacy can provide. However, our mission for legacy is greater than money. We must create a legacy not only focused on financial capital but on human capital as well. If we only prepare financial wealth for the family, we have failed. We must prepare the family for the wealth in all aspects of wealth from healthy intimate relationships, healthy lifestyles, and a healthy family dynamic! We must pass down a family’s mission and vision statement, along with guiding principles, core values, and life lessons to ensure we can

navigate through the most difficult parts of life. Not only do most black families start at zero financially, but we have to relearn lessons that could have been passed down to help us out emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and relationally. This is the wealth of human capital. Money and legacy are missing from most black families because, either we aren’t aware of it, our limiting beliefs about it, or it’s not a long-term priority.

WHAT’S NEXT AND HOW DO WE FIX IT?

As a Financial Professional and a money and legacy coach, my team and I see this day in and day out in our mission to eradicate this mindset that plagues our black families. We must individually do our part so that collectively we can grow. Collaboration and commitment will be the catalyst toward transforming our money and legacy in the black community. We must commit to each one-teach one, and this starts with your family. Understanding and upgrading your Money EQ and Money IQ is a start, but it doesn’t end there. The key is developing this new

mindset with implementing real action steps. You must build solid relationships with professionals like Financial Advisors, CPA’s, Attorneys, and even Family Coaches that can help you navigate your family through the challenges that can destroy your family, your money, and your legacy. Passing down wealth is a combination of having a legacy mindset, solid financial strategies, and the right vehicles to protect it through the transfer phase and beyond. It’s important to know that you have the power to shift your money and legacy for your family. In the words of Alice Walker, “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

Knowing we need to do better isn’t enough for the advancement of black families in America. Your money and legacy require these three sacrifices now…

· Start now, wherever that may be for you.

· Save regularly, no matter how much, and then build the muscle to do more.

· Be patient because building wealth and your legacy

takes some time. It’s not an overnight thing.

Go forward and be the best financial steward I know you can be and the legacy creator that your family has been waiting on. No longer will your future generations miss out on money and legacy because you are your ancestors’ dream realized and your descendant’s hope manifested!

Passion Bradley

NEVER GIVE UP on YOU Passion Bradley by

HHi! My name is Passion Monique Bradley and I would like to share my story with the intent to inspire, celebrate others who may have a similar story but you haven’t had the opportunity or thought it was good enough to share. BUT IT IS!

I am 39 years old, a mother of two wonderful daughters, and grandmother of two beautiful grandkids. Growing up I always had a passion for school. I enjoyed writing essays, science projects, and entering math contests. I attended Nesmith Way of Cross at the ages of 3 and 4 years. Then, I began attending

Battery Park Elementary School up until my 8th grade year. We moved to Kingstree where I began attending Kingstree Junior High School. And that’s when everything appeared to start falling apart for me. But I managed to stay focused enough to graduate from Junior High and progress to Senior High school that following year with my class.

I started high school after the summer was over. I was able to maintain it for a while, but it seemed like I just didn’t fit in there. I began getting into trouble, and was suspended for constantly cutting school. Eventually everything led to me getting expelled from school my 11th grade year. I was 16 years old and kicked out of school and not working. So, after being kicked out I never went back the next falling school term, I just dropped out completely.

At the age of 17 years old I got pregnant with my first child. Then, years later I was pregnant with my second child at the age of 21. I always regret quitting high school at such a young age. Because now here I am reminding my girls how important earning their high school diploma is in this world. Something my parents always kept telling me growing up. So, when my oldest, who graduated in 2021, handed me her school diploma, I felt happy but hurt in a way. Because she never let anything stop her from giving up on her dreams.

I took her accomplishment and strength and allowed it to motivate me to the point that I sat that night and asked God to just guide me down the path that He wants me to go. I also prayed and asked Him to help me accomplish all my life dreams, but most importantly help me to accomplish my promise to my parents, kids, and grandkids something I always wanted to give myself. That next Monday morning I enrolled at Adult Education here in Kingstree, SC. It was a struggle at first, because I was out of school for over 20 years. But I thank God for my teachers, school counselor, and my kids for pushing me

and never stopped believing in me. On February 14, 2022 exactly 6 days from my momma’s 78th birthday I completed my last GED test and passed all 4 subjects. I was given the privilege and honor to march across the stage to receive my GED. SO, DREAMS DO AND CAN COME TRUE and mine was to get my high school diploma! You must be ready to put in the work and effort to fulfill the pursuit of your dream. And continue to have faith and trust that God will see you through your journey. Just know that with hard work, motivation, and the right support system anyone can go back to school and earn their High School Diploma or GED, or anything that you so desire. If I was able to do it, then you can do it too! Just have FAITH AND PUT IN THE WORK!

Sabrina Protic

Sabrina Protic is an international inspirational community connector and relationship builder. She is an author, motivational speaker, wife, mother, and grandmother who loves educating and empowering her community as a licensed world-class financial coach and certified life coach.

Sabrina is the author of Growing Ageless: Think Young-Live Younger. She’s collaboratively authored Top 25 Change Makers, Keep Smiling Dose of Hope, and International Bestseller Wellness for Winners. She’s also the COO and co-host of international streaming live Thriving Women Talk on E360TV. Sabrina is a featured cover girl as a trusted financial coach for She Exist Magazine’s 2022 fall edition.

Living by the motto “Happiness is the prescription for longevity,” Sabrina enjoys inspiring people to overcome obstacles and live their best lives.

Sabrina found her purpose after pivoting from the corporate world due to pandemic cutbacks. Her passion as a financial coach is to help households put financial game plans in place that pass the test of time and circumstances. Sabrina has a strong focus on educating people about establishing financial legacies and creating safe layers of financial protection and growth. Being a financial coach is a peopleto-people culture. She has always loved connecting with people and lending herself to help others.

W.E.E. is an organization striving for continuous opportunities for women to expand their networks, develop relationships and grow their businesses. W.E.E. is active within the community by organizing events for women entrepreneurs and donating to various community charities each year.

Sabrina is the co-founder of The Sharper Woman Newsletter, a resource to help women live longer, younger, stronger and smarter lives utilizing the power of information. The sharper woman recognizes the value of information in mindfulness, mental well-being, fitness, women’s bodies and financial education in preparation for events that impact her life now and, in the years to come. She is equipped and informed to make smarter choices for herself and her family.

Learn more about Sabrina at www.SabrinaProtic.com

https://www.amazon.com/ author/sabrinaprotic

VICTIM or VICTOR

Sabrina Protic by

along the coastline but I said ‘No”! This was not going to be the end of my story, but rather the beginning of the chapters that I will write on my terms.

Competing in the unemployment ranks was not appealing to me as I knew that my demographics would close more doors than open. I chose to get a license as a financial coach, that would keep me in the driver’s seat at all times and no longer be subject to hire, fire or retire.

education. Photos of men and women in their fifties and sixties driving along a coastline without a care in the world, totally detached from careers, business ownerships and employment. Is that the crème de la crème? An active mind promotes longevity.

Embrace being Ageless and on fire at any age despite the odds that some people perceive are working against them. What do I mean by the word ageless? Defy the boundaries of societal classes by age, gender and

My story is living proof that being what is considered a senior, female and African American has nothing to do with limiting me to reach my full potential at any age. Several years ago, at age 62 my career job as a corporate Operations Manager was eliminated after 41 years of service due to cutbacks. I could have thrown in the towel and accepted that ride

In the past several years I have had a successful financial coaching business, become a public speaker and a 4-time bestselling author and launched book number six in March 2023, Hindsight to Insight – Money between Family & Friends. If I had not been let go none of my community contributions would have happened. I am a hero in my own world, living life with vibrancy, love, energy and empowerment. Each day I show up in my world with hair, makeup and heels ready to make a difference in the lives of others. Let your age and circumstances not define you. Do not settle for settling down if that is not your vision for you. Do not be a victim, become a victor.

Dann Alexander

If you ask Dann to describe himself, I will tell you that I am smart and put a lot of thought and heart into what I do with and for others. Because of trauma and past events, I would say that I have a hard time communicating with individuals and find it really hard to make connections. Throughout the years though I was able to maintain a few really close friends, they helped me to get through days alongside my therapist.

I am a 21-year-old intersex male. When you ask my friends to describe me, you will get: funny, nice, dependable and loyal. No matter the amount of trauma or bad day he is having he always finds the time to be there for us. He loves writing poetry, going on bike rides and bouldering in Joshua Tree with his best friend Renee.

MY plan for the future is to empower not only the black community and the LGBTQ2+ community but to empower youth to follow their hearts and do what they feel is right. There are no limitations on what can be done when you know who you are and have the strength to BE who you are. THE SKY IS YOUR/ OUR LIMIT! Hope is not lost. Let’s give ourselves more grace and mercy, while offering it to others to let ME/US be ourselves as love and support others in being who they are.

I am a poetry writer. I’ve used my writing as self-therapy and I wanted to take this opportunity to share the piece below that is entitled, “ME”.

ME

Dann Alexander by

I’m a person who turned depression into pain

I was young when I first heard the voices

Since then they have gotten louder and louder

I fight so hard to love myself, but the fight is endless

I don’t want to be friends with a razor anymore.

I met a boy, older than me

I thought he loved me even when he yelled and hit me

One night after being alone with him i went from:

Innocent to Damaged

Happy to sad

Warm to cold

That night i chose to give up the fight

I was no longer kind but instead losing my mind

No more friends

No more support

No more will to help

Remember the razor well it’s cutting deeper and deeper

My body was used, bruised and too late to lose. For the next 3 years, the boy continued My will for help became silent and I became numb and violent. I only became violent to myself because i can’t bear to hurt anybody else

Hate grew

Time flow

Things at home got worse with my parents and my grades were slipping. I couldn’t take it anymore and I knew I had to take my life. during this time I never heard the words I LOVE YOU!!

Or maybe the voices were too loud and the words didn’t make it through.

I found support in the one guy in my life that never hurt me. His first words were I love you and I know what you are going through. Those three words filled everything in me that was empty

My heart

My soul

I no longer feel dead, i feel alive

The scars on my body now a lie

I am loved

I am happy

I am important

I can finally say I love myself after 6 years even if it’s only a little.

God took the hate that dictated my life. My god is humble to the extreme

I no longer have to stumble over what i need

I thank God because i believe

Thank you, God for saving my life and I will live it and fight.

SPECIAL EDITION SPOTLIGHTS

DR. RICO SHORT

Top African American Endodontist To The Stars

Dr. Rico Short was born and raised in Columbus, GA to and by a single mother and didn’t know his father for 42yrs. His father left when his mom was about 8 months pregnant, and his mom thought that he would return but he never did. Rico’s mother proceeded to raise him as best as she could, while working as a mill worker with a high school education. His mom ensured that they had what they needed by working overtime on occasion and ensuring that her son would be rooted and grounded in a strong spiritual faith in the Lord. She had an impeccable work ethic in which Rico was able to glean from as his mother stayed on her job for 35 yrs where there was no room to move up via a promotion but

instead overtime was the only opportunity to help meet/ excel the needs of the family when necessary or desired. They lived in public housing where he experienced having roaches in his bed while learning that roaches do bite and can fly. Rico made a conscious decision at a young age that he wanted something different for his life, thus why he made it a point to keep his academic endeavors 1st in hopes to make his mother and teachers proud as well as having made it a goal which would be the means to get him ultimately to the career that he now triumphs.

Growing up, Rico didn’t get a lot of positive affirmations from within his community but he received it from his teachers and his mom. He took those positive affirmations in which he received and used it as the fuel to power his engine which afforded him a spot in a mentorship program where he met the 1st African American doctor that he had ever seen, who happened to be a dentist. His mentor became the steering wheel for him to navigate through college and dental school. Dr. Rico is a successful

Endodontist to the Stars, where he has treated people like Rick Ross, Usher, Lala and many others. He is an author of several books and has been on the cover of Dentistry Today. He owns a successful specialty practice in Smyrna, Georgia for over two decades. And his story continues to inspire as he gives us a glimpse as an African American male snippets of being raised by a single mom, fatherless for 42 years, minimal positive support from his community yet a burning desire to be the best version of himself for himself that he may inspire as he continues to pursue the fulfillment of his destiny.

At the age of 42, Rico decided that he wanted to find his father. His mother didn’t have much information but with the little information that she was able to provide, Rico decided to take to the internet to see if he could find his father. As God would have it, his desire was fulfilled, and he found his father. Two weeks after making contact, his father flew in to meet him and his beautiful family. The most astonishing piece that many may truly be in awe about is that Rico held NO malice towards his father.

He was able to welcome his father into his open arms and pick up right where they were to build their father-son bond. How is that possible? It is possible because of the strong spiritual faith in the Lord that Rico possesses and the desire for the connection with his father.

I wanted to get a snippet of Dr. Rico Short’s story because I believe it is one in which so many MEN and even moms can obtain hope and be inspired that all they need to do is the self-work, be the best that they can be and keep their personal spiritual relationship with GOD in the forefront, Not Man/Woman, as the one through whom all blessings flow. Stay positive and determined and you can live your best life without being anchored with regrets! Make you the focus and become the best version of YOU!

Special Thanks to Dr. Rico Short, for giving me the opportunity to share in this special Empowerment edition of The Black Family Magazine.

~ Veronica Simon

The Life of a Champion

Tori Nelson

Tori Nelson is a 13-time 4 weight division World Champion who was inducted into the Boxing Hall of Fame on October 22, 2022. Her success has been inspiring. With fans and supporters from all over the world, Tori has a magnetic personality that is felt by all who meet her…in fact, Tori is being inducted into the Boxing Hall of Fame in October of 2022 during a formal televised ceremony in Las Vegas, Nevada.

As a humble woman who only stands 5’6, she may very well be small in stature, but her heart and passion are more than mighty. Nelson put her blood, sweat and tears into her journey as a boxer. She says, “If you want to be the best, you’ve got to fight the best. That’s all there is to it.”

Her World Championship boxing titles lend to her overall authenticity as an athlete with a heart of gold and the mental capacity that enabled her to persevere through all that life has thrown at her. She continues to be a woman who completely understands

the benefits that come with following through with her dreams and goals until they are accomplished.

In being a single mother with two kids and holding down three jobs, Tori Nelson never fell victim to the many excuses she could have given herself not to go to the gym…instead, she made it a top priority with the understanding that in order to be mentally fit and prepared in life, one must also be physically fit with a strong mind.

Giving back to other women in her community who want to build a healthy body and mind is important to her. She leads by example and plans to open a gym that women with all body types can use. Throughout her motivational speaking work, she continually reinforces the importance of the mind and body connection that plays a powerful role in creating and maintaining measurable changes. It takes time to get in shape and adopt an attitude of excellence, and Tori is dedicated to help others reach their goals and beyond. She feels that if women are given the right environment with the right motivation, anything is possible.

Women truly run the world and she is going to let every woman who steps foot into her gym know that they are valued, appreciated and worthy of success.

Photographer: Santiago Gonzalez

Links to learn more:

https://www.voanews.com/a/6447650.html

https://g.co/kgs/AePnMN

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/magazine/ wp/2019/01/23/feature/this-42-year-old-boxer-has-a-job-atihop-two-kids-and-11-titles-she-isnt-finished-yet/ Various YouTube clips:

https://youtu.be/_elAODBtTNc

https://youtu.be/YBV4YGuYTg8

https://youtu.be/7-PfEU2pqM0

Meet Pastor

Wendell and Dr Oya Townsley

They Are Their Focus

How many of you truly know someone that has been in their life’s work whether in a corporate environment or elsewhere and have retired successfully without lacking anything so that they can blissfully enjoy the next phase of their journey together?

I have. It’s this beautifully anointed couple, to whom I am their baby bear. I have gleaned so much from both as individuals and as a couple. They are a part of my family not by natural bloodline but by the blood of Jesus that made it beyond natural for me to gravitate towards them and them towards me.

If you have taken the time to read my centerpiece in this edition of the magazine, it will be clear to you as to

why I desired to have Pastor Wendell and Dr Oya Townsley in the empowerment edition. The tie-in deals with how the support, unwavering love of a couple can have such a profound impact on another individual. They weren’t looking for me and I wasn’t seeking them out either, yet here we are a family! I would watch them as a young adult from afar when we all attended the Cathedral of The Holy Spirit in Decatur, GA. Pastor Wendell at the time was an Armor Bearer and it was just something about his presence, while Dr. Oya was the caregiver of her mom. It was so alluring to watch how they cared selflessly for others. Their essence was and is so very magnetic, and I was very smitten without saying a word to either of them from afar.

Both Pastor Wendell and Dr Oya Townsley are retirees and on an extraordinary adventure that has me on the edge of my seat for many reasons, but I will briefly identify a few:

• They dare to experience outdoor living which has most likely thrusted both of them into better shape than they have ever been in their lives.

• They have taken up bicycling and through their media postings have taken their audience on beautiful journeys as they have cycled along many vibrant locations; alone and with other cyclists.

• Dr Oya, learned how to swim during her senior years so that she could kayak alongside her husband. THAT INSPIRED ME FROM MY CORE as I am still telling myself that I will learn while loving and fearing the water at the same time.

• They kayak together like PROS! They kayak the Okefenokee Swamp, many lakes, ocean waters, and swam with the manatees to name a few of their many kayaking adventures.

• My Papa Bear records their underwater adventures and outdoor activities with a sports camera to share with their audience.

• They enjoy domestic and overseas travel, experiencing diverse cultures, and continue to seek new traveling adventures.

To sum up how I see things via their story: They are doing “AUHMAZING” Things at this point in their lives, from devoted professionals, pastors, now retired with a DIVINE GRACE of ministering through their amazing adventures that are beyond inspiring. It is simply EMPOWERING for them not to be celebrities but to be devoted professionals who have aligned to proceed forward in their devoted love for each other to keep moving

forward. From the adventures that they have shared over the years, to me, it shows how they are willing to face fears, to walk in courage, to ABSOLUTELY LIVE and set the course to enjoy the fruits of their labor that they have sown. While continuing to sow effortlessly, because it is who they are INSTINCTLY, is NOTEWORTHY and a real living example of YES, anyone can do the same with the right mindset and putting action behind their faith!

Make it a point to live for you, dare to Be Your Focus, and enjoy the fruits of the seeds you have sown!

GAMBLE FAMILY HISTORY

My Gamble Family Traceability

Excerpt taken from our Gamble Family Book

Written by Raimonda Martin

Below I am going to capture pictures and verbiage from our family heritage in which my cousin Raimonda Martin who is the historian for our Gamble family lineage. I had no idea of how in-depth our Gamble family had been traced until after I moved to the West Coast because we never spent much time attending family reunions on my grandmother’s (momma) side of the family like we did with my grandfather’s (daddy) family.

This family journey started with a request from my cousin, Lizzie (Gamble) Wesson in 1980 to find her father’s family from the Nesmith, South Carolina (SC) area. I not only found the descendants of Louis Gamble, and his sister Mary Ann (Gamble) Pressley; but my research has established the Gamble Family/Clan consisting of family from Nesmith, SC; Fitzgerald, Georgia (GA); with intermarried surnames of Pressley, Barr, McCutchen, Nesmith and Hempstead County, Arkansas (AR) with intermarried surnames of Muldrow, Muldrow/ew, Sampson, Flowers and Walker.

If one would ask, where did our ancestors come from? I would assume from Africa via Bermuda and early Colonial America. Since my research has not revealed names and places of birth prior to 1840, I can only start with ‘oral’ stories handed down within the Gamble family. ‘Mary’ Gamble was a ‘Quadroon’. This is a child born of a white and mulatto parent, the mulatto being born of a white and African or Indian parent. As told by Eliza (Gamble) Muldrow, she was part ‘Blackfoot’ Indian. The ‘Blackfoot’ were part of the Mingo (Chickasaws) that lived in the surrounding area of Black Mingo Creek and Indiantown of Williamsburg County, SC. My research has revealed that the ‘white’ slave owner was James Gamble Jr., a planter, descendant from Irish parentage. Many Irish immigrants came to the Carolinas from Ireland and received bounty to farm the backlands of South Carolina in early to mid-1700s. This brings us to the earliest record of the Gamble Family/ Clan and that is the will and inventory of slaves of James Gamble, Jr. of Williamsburg Co. Turkey Township in 1853. The following pages trace

the 63 slaves listed in the Gamble inventory of 1853 through emancipation, their early communities and their subsequent descendant lineages.

Today, we continue to hear stories about the disappearance of the Black family structure. We hear about one-parent households headed by females, the disappearance of the Black male due to the young Black teens becoming high school dropouts; consumption and dependence on drugs; alarming percentage of Black men and women being incarcerated and the ‘StandYour-Ground’ laws in many states whereby young Black men are just killed without much justice being handed out. But we seldom hear about the Black families that are staying together, how those Black families are educating their children, spiritually and academically. These families are succeeding and building strong foundations that will provide a basis for future generations. Strong families are a key to our survival in this world. The GAMBLE family is one such family.

Mrs. Maggie Wilson

Scott aka MOMMA

UPCOMING EVENTS