While it is common to gradually create distance when the intensity of a relationship is no longer desired, this often happens with the impetus of a break up - a moment when one party admits to the other that it is no longer working, and it is time to move on. Breakups elicit tears, heartbreak, sometimes sighs of relief, and can at other times be quite painful. One positive thing breaking up creates however, regardless of who is giving or receiving the fatal news, is the provision of a much needed thing for moving on - closure. Losing a loved one without closure is a difficult experience to overcome. In cases of death, there is certainty and a sense of the finite, and that in itself can act as a layer of closure, regardless of the remaining pain from the loss. Ghosting, in contrast, refers to the complete disappearance of a living person without explanation, or even notice. This phenomenon is becoming increasingly more common in today’s online and digitally enhanced dating world. On one hand, technology offers individuals the power to create their own shades of privacy, and on the other hand it leaves all of us more susceptible to the practice of ghosting, and also more accepting of it. Some lifestyle and relationship articles provide ways one might be able to determine when they are about to get “ghosted”, but the common cause for ghosting seems to be universal - either the person has suffered a fatal injury (in worst case scenarios), or well....they’re just “not that into you” and no longer want you in their life.
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GHOSTING
According to Dr. Jack Schafer, as described in his book “The Like Switch”, there are four basic components required for creating a lasting relationship: proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity. Dr. Schafer, himself an ex FBI Special Agent who specialized in behavior analysis and spy recruitment, says that if one removes any one of these components, a relationship will slowly dissipate.
