the b. quarterly
the b. quarterly
P h o to by G e o r g e M ay e r 2
all the ways in which we b.ehave
Micky Thakur Michael Morgan, MA P H O T O G R A P H Y & A R T George Mayer, Alex Buts, Fermata, Mirko Macari, Wolfgang Kraus,
Jo Ann Snover, Christian Hinkle, Valentin Valkov, James Pintar, Chet Verikov, Anton Belovodchenko, Kazakov Maksim, M oremar, Soup Studio, Fotolia, Bigstock Photo.
4
P s y c h o l o g y + L i f e s t y l e BQ4
FOUNDER & EDITOR IN CHIEF Dr. Baharak Sedigh, PsyD, MA DrB@TheBQuarterly.com SENIOR CORRESPONDENTS Dominique McGhee . Houston | TX DominiqueMcGhee@TheBQuarterly.com Cynthia Malone, BA . Kansas City | MO CynthiaMalone@TheBQuarterly.com CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Daniel Sher, MA Paula H. Cookson, LCSW S E N I O R W R I T E R S M.K. Angeles GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC COLUMNIST Dr. Colleen Mullen, PsyD, LMFT CONTRIBUTORS
SAN DIEGO . LOS ANGELES . HOUSTON . KANSAS CITY
we make print to keep.
600 W. BROADWAY Ste. 700 SAN DIEGO, CA 92101 619.413.7177 @TheBQuarterly GENERAL INQUIRIES Info@TheBQuarterly.com MEMBERS ONLY TheBQuarterly.com
© 2017 by The B. Quarterly, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. The B. Quarterly LLC and its editors reserve the right to edit and use, for prom ion and publication, all submitted material such as articles, interviews, advertisement, or any her related material turned in. All work submitted to The B. Quarterly LLC is assumed to be the author's authentic and original work, previously unpublished (unless herwise disclosed) in format submitted. This publication may n be reproduced, in whole or in part, on any platform in any format, without the express prior written permission of the publisher. The views expressed in the articles, interviews, advertisements, and general content of The B. Quarterly are those of the authors, interviewees and/or contributors and do n necessarily reflect the views of the editors, publishers, or their agents. All psychological, medical, legal, clinical and health related views, and all articles, opinions and/or information depicted in The B.Quarterly by its editors, writers, staff, contributors and advertisers are for informational purposes only and do n claim to be a substitute for any medical, clinical or professional advice or consultation. © 2017 by The B. Quarterly, LLC. Printed in The United States of America.
Peop le often ask ea ch other w here they are fro m . An d , if s o meo n e stan ds o ut fro m the crowd I assume w e are even more inclin ed to ask that questio n . I t's un der stan dab ly human . We attempt to mak e sense of the w or ld by creating schemas an d story lin es, an d w e in evitab ly categ orize the w or ld aro un d us to un der stan d it better. To mak e qu ick er sense of a fast mo ving mul tidimensio nal reality. So , be it fro m curio sity or otherwise , w e often ask ea ch other "W here are y o u fro m?" For s o me of us the answ er is lo ng er than for other s, but with the g lo bal nature of to day's existence that answ er is g etting lo ng er an d less revealing for al l of us by the minute . There w as a time in o ur human history w hen lo catio n predetermin ed much of w hat an d w h o w e kn ew, w ere exp o sed to , an d w hat s o cial cul tures w e to o k par t in . But h ow true is that to day ? Our tastes an d lifesty les are n o lo ng er depen dent o n g eograp hy , n or are they restricted by other s o cial divisio ns such as a g e , g en der, s o cial status, educatio n ...etc . N ot to say that th o se co nstructs have beco me meaning less, but rather to p o int o ut that th o se subgro ups are n ow often clustered tog ether by lik es an d dis lik es, by lifesty le ch o ices an d per s o nal per spectives rather than p hy sical lo catio n or proximity , or even fa ce to fa ce intera ctio ns. The truth of to day's w or ld is this: y o u may have more in co mmo n , kn ow more an d be clo ser an d in more co nstant co nta ct with an in dividual of a different g en der an d a g e living o n the other side of the g lo be w h o shares y o ur lo ve of trave l , fo o d , win e an d 18th century French history. Because al l th o se thing s 'live' in a dig ital 'co untry' w e al l be lo ng to. An d y et , y o u may have very litt le in co mmo n with y o ur n eig hbor w h o w as bor n an d raised
6
in y o ur h o metow n , but hates French history an d fin ds trave ling ann o ying. So much of w h o w e are happens by hear t , an d n ot by lo catio n . That has alw ay s been par t of human nature's b ril liance . To day's dig ital p latforms, mo bility , an d co nn ectivity have o nly been a mp lifier s of w hat is already at the core of human evo lutio n . Our ability to mo ve , to chang e , to adapt , to mix , to co nn ect ... an d stil l s o meh ow remain ab s o lute ly unique . So maybe w e sh o uld ask ea ch other, "W hat are y o u made of... instead . W hat mak es up mo st of y o ur time , y o ur passio ns, y o ur th o ug hts....? W hat are y o u made of ? B. ecause after al l , p hy sical lo catio n an d even cul tural setting s can chang e at any time , but w hat alw ay s remains co nstant is o ur ow n b ran d of psych o log y , made up of thing s w e thin k of, w e fear, w e lo ve , that in tur n impa ct ... al l the w ay s in w hich w e b. ehave .
Dr. B. Baharak Sedigh, PsyD, MA
ea Th ti e m ve in d
cr
a Q&A with D r. M i h a e la I va n H o l t z
8
The creative mind
10
You specialize in working with creatives and performers - what drew you to this specialty? I don’t think there is one specific thing that drew me to work with creatives and performers. It is more like many different aspects of my life came together and now, I do what I love to do. I have always appreciated creative people and arts in all forms. I cannot imagine a world without music, film, dance, stories, paintings… I also have a creative energy and there is a part of me that is creative. I grew up in Romania, during Communism, and I had no outlets to express my creativity. However, I think that when you have this creative energy inside you, no one can take that away from you. It will find a way to manifest. For me, this creative energy was - and still is my light. I followed my light. I dreamed of being a psychologist, but in Communist Romania there was no psychology school. My creative energy, my light, helped me find my way. Despite the odds and the fact that people were telling me I was chasing the impossible, here I am. I believe in this innate creative energy and how it to helps us create our own lives. In this sense, I feel artists and I are soul mates. During my doctoral internship, I started working with creatives and performers. It was then that I realized that I connected with certain clients on that emotional level that allows deep transformation, from the inside out. And, these were the creatives and the performers. Through whatever emotional challenges they were going through, I saw the core of who they really were. I saw that creative energy inside them. I do think artists need their creative energy to be seen and acknowledged before anything else. It’s the thread of their existence. And, when you work with them, it’s important to understand how their creativity becomes the thread that holds and binds together every aspect of who they are.
Dr. Mihaela Ivan Holtz is the Founder of Creative Minds Psychotherapy™ developed to help creatives and performers live with the emotional freedom to create their own careers and lives. She practices in Beverly Hills, California. She obtained her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at Pepperdine University, and is certified in psychoanalytic therapy, trained in the neuroscience of psychotherapy, and is licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist. CreativeMindsPsychotherapy.com
Th
e
cr
ea
ti in
ve
m
d
12
At the end of the sessions, I felt inspired by the work that we did, even when we were going through some rough moments. From there on, it became clear that creatives and performers were who I wanted to work with, who I was meant to work with. This field of creativity and performance is such a complex and rich world that it’s almost impossible to comprehend all of all its intricacies. Therefore, it is not like I call myself a “specialist” in working with creatives and performers. Rather, my focus on working with this specific population is inspired by the sense that I can see what makes this group so unique.
Therefore, for artists, it’s about finding that “sweet spot” with their emotional challenges so they can feel inspired to create or perform, and, at the same time, not get hurt by that inner turmoil. Creativity opens your heart and mind. Creativity is being in touch with your authentic self in such a deep and clean way that you simply have the courage to manifest your unique “You.” Creativity connects you to your purpose. Creativity is love for all that you are and for all that there is.
It is more about: I can see that creative energy in you that needs to create. I can hold that space for you to find yourself as an artist. I can see in you something that was not seen before, so you can see it for yourself and let it bloom. I can give you the gift of tolerating the unknown, so you can find comfort in the unknown and, from there, carve your own path.
I think of creativity as a form of life energy. In a way, we are all creatives. It’s just that there are different ways of manifesting that creativity. The people that I work with manifest that creative energy in making art and performing. But look further: scientists manifest their creative energy by bringing so many innovations for the world, business people by creating businesses, and parents creating nurturing environments… We all have creative energy.
As an artist, you live in the zone of uncertainty. You don’t know when the next project is coming. You don’t know when your art will be noticed... I can help you break through whatever holds you from being in touch with that creative energy to create not only your art, but your whole life too. It’s not about me having “the secret” of how artists can live their big lives. It’s about the meaningful work we do together.
How is creativity impacted by one’s mental health? Working with creatives and performers, I have learned one thing: there is no clear answer to this question. For some creatives and performers emotional issues become their creative energy. Whatever is in their life, the ‘emotional pain’ or the challenge, it is translated into art. And yet, for other creatives and performers, their “mental health” - or lack of it - is interfering with creating and performing. Their creative energy gets stuck and twisted in emotional conflicts, anxiety, depression, addictions, relationship and love issues, and more.
How does creativity impact, not only artists, but all of us as individuals?
The big question is: are you in touch with that creative energy? If that energy is blocked by any emotional conflicts, are you willing to do whatever it takes to get in touch with that creative energy?
What has surprised you the most in working with creatives? The precious moments during sessions when I get a peek into their inner creative world still surprises and amazes me. The way the person in front of me suddenly transforms into the artist who is completely in touch with his or her craft - it’s beautiful. When, they have the music in their mind, or the images, or the dance movements… you can feel that. I always feel privileged when that happens. It’s like they allow me to really see how amazing it feels to have the creativity energy flowing in their veins. You can see that connection to their art. In those moments you know why they are creatives and performers.
e v i t a e r c e d n Th i m 14
How can people who see themselves as being ‘non-creative’ better connect to their creative energy? I believe we are all creative. It is just a matter of how that creative energy is expressed. Some want to savor it in small bites, one little bit at a time. Some have a big and expansive creative energy that has to be expressed in big ways so they can feel connected to who they are. Some use it to create their beautiful homes, some for generating profit, some for finding a solution to a life problem. It is not about being a creative or a “noncreative.” It is more of a matter of that creative energy being free or being blocked by emotional conflicts or defenses. It’s about how much you are in touch with your unique creative energy.
How do you experience creativity in your own life and process?
For me, creativity is like a light that I follow through my life. At first, it was my passion for the mind that connected me to my creative energy. I had to be creative in order to become what I am now: a psychotherapist in Los Angeles working with creatives and performers. Now, I love this part of my life and the way I get to help people create their beautiful lives. In a way, I am a scientist and a creative at the same time. Just like a writer, an actor, a musician who knows their craft so well that they can put it on the side and be creative, I know my theories of psychotherapy well enough to use them without getting in the way of each client’s individual healing and self-discovery process. To me, creating beautiful lives is the most beautiful form of art. All my training in clinical psychology, psychoanalysis, or neuroscience just provides the tools to accomplish that.
Although I am trained to diagnose, I don’t diagnose. I see this professional decision to be creative in itself. Ultimately, you have to see beyond the diagnosis, to see the human being and what that human being is here to experience and to bring to life. I also have moments when I need to express my creativity in a more artistic way. I may get inspired by a beautiful night sky or the raindrops falling on my window, and then I need to express that energy. I write poems. I write for myself, just for the pleasure of expressing that energy.
This is one of my favorite poems It's dark and quiet everywhere The wind is blowing in my window Whispering about The mysteries of the world Wondering if ...why...and ...how We all exist Like dust in the wind Like flowers in the sun Like rainbows in the rain And how we, all Just want to Be seen Be understood Be heard Be loved To come Together In one And be born again Separate and one again To live With Beauty Love And Grace Again... and .... Again
16
THE POWER OF DANCE a candid talk with
HARPER WATTERS
OF HOUSTON BALLET
by Dominique McGhee
HARPER WATTERS Years of dance training, hard work, and a commanding personality have led Harper Watters, a soloist with the Houston Ballet, to carve out his own lane in the world; both on and off the stage. While I first discovered Harper on Instagram (he was nailing a dance routine on a treadmill while wearing pink high heels), there’s so much more to the young budding star than first meets the eye. Whether working on his craft or collaborating with some of the hottest brands around (Mr. Turk and Urban Outfitters, just to name a couple), Harper is passionate and true to himself. Harper is bridging gaps and addressing stereotypes all while executing intricate ballet performances. I was able to chat with Harper and get a closer glimpse into who he is, why he loves what he does, and what motivates him, and more… For those that may not know your story, can you tell us about your background? How did you begin dancing? I grew up in Dover, NH. I was originally born in Atlanta, GA, but was adopted at two weeks old. I’d like to think that extreme potential was the reason I was put in local dance classes, but I’m pretty sure it was because my parents couldn’t stand watching my one-man Nutcracker I choreographed anymore. I joined a competition dance studio at age 11, where I really developed the fundamentals of my dance training. I attended the Walnut Hill School for the Arts for my sophomore and junior year, and then joined the Houston Ballet second company in 2009 at 16. I joined the main company in 2011, the corp in 2012, I became a demi soloist in 2016 and was recently promoted to Soloist December of 2017. So, now you’re a soloist at the Houston Ballet, congratulations! What new responsibilities come with that? Thank you! This promotion is basically the next big step in my career, not only as a dancer but as an artist as well. Gone are the days of making sure I have enough cups on my tray to hand to the ball guests and triple checking that I underdressed my tights in the correct order so I can do a quick change from Arabian, into Mirlatons, into Flowers for Nutcracker. I now have the opportunity to sink my teeth into more in-depth characters and to push my technique for more challenging ballets. The first few years in the company were formidable; they taught me that dance is so much more than a physical art form. How to make roles your own…how to show you’re an asset…how to make yourself stand out…that’s what sets you apart from others and allows you to be given the tools to start working for a higher rank. I feel like I have the power now to really push my dancing, and I’m excited to see what I can accomplish. Rupaul says, “With great power, comes great responsibility.” Not really sure where I’m going with that, I just love Rupaul so much and thought it be fun to include him in a ballet interview! Do you have a routine/method that helps you prepare? An alter ego when you hit the stage? When I’m really nervous I get really quiet, which normally is never the case. I enjoy being around people before I go on stage, just being natural. I used to think that I had to create a certain persona or be someone else to allow myself to dance better. However, over the years I’ve learned that the only way I can dance my best is if I bring qualities of myself into each performance. Avoiding the temptation of comparison is a battle I think dancers and performers will constantly fight, but more and more I 18
HARPER WATTERS
20
HARPER WATTERS
HARPER WATTERS gain the confidence to trust my training, the work I put in during rehearsals, and my artistic choices. The only way I can convey certain emotions on stage, is if I express them authentically offstage. Before I step on stage I try to remind myself ‘be you, because you’re fabulous!’ A good Beyoncé track also never fails to get the blood pumping! You have an amazing social media platform, how do you use that to bring awareness to topics that are important to you? Because I’m a dancer I show, rather than tell. Instead of telling people that being your true self doesn’t mean you can’t achieve your dreams or telling young dancers of color they can take a dance classes, I’d rather show them through my posts, that they can. I’m proof that if you surround yourself with people who uplift you and put yourself in an environment that supports you, there’s no holding back what you can achieve. I want people to see that I’m an Out African-American male dancing ballets by the worlds leading choreographers, but that I’m also slaying a treadmill in pink heels collaborating with major non-dance brands and it has no effect on the quality of my work. There’s great power in being you and expressing yourself. You’ve accomplished so much at a very young age, what is next for you? First of all,“young”? Thank you so much. Second, with the momentum I’ve created through social media and my dance career I’d love a larger platform to shake up what people think it is to be a ballet dancer in mainstream pop culture. Ballet has been portrayed in such a heightened stereotypical way, of high drama, eating disorders, etc. Why can’t there be a ballet driven project that is funny yet insightful? I listen to Beyoncé, watch the Real Housewives, go to concerts, I’m not pulling feathers out of my back. Do I fight with my friends? Of course, but I also laugh with them. There are so many interesting stories behind the dancers on stage that I’d love to share and showcase. “The Real Dancers of Houston”? I can see it now! So we can add that to my list of dancing with Beyoncé and my own talk show. What is a piece of advice that you would offer a young person? “You’re never going to get the perfect wave, it’s about learning to ride the wave you’re given.” Finally, a fun one... what’s a little known fact about you? I have a ground breaking YouTube channel where I post blogs and my web series ‘The Pre Show” which is a backstage look at getting ready for shows! That’s not really a little known fact it just seemed like the perfect place to plug it! The Harper Watters on YouTube ;) So there you have it. A supportive family and network, hard work, and a bit of Byoncé motivation are some of what helps fuel Harper to keep excelling in the world of ballet and beyond. He’s a force to be reckoned with and he's definitely one to watch. I’m getting my ticket to watch Harper perform at the Houston Ballet; and I hope to see you there! 22
“Ballet is a dance executed by the human soul.” Alexander Pushkin
all pictures courtesy of Harper Watters
the b. quarterly limited edition items
24
what if our things had something to say? limited edition items with a message made in limited numbers & packaged with care
...COMiNG SOON!
26
THE TASTE & SPiRiT of New
Orleans in...
. . . . D owntown San Diego
St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square in New Orleans
Guitar Player in Jackson Square
New Orleans Fre n c h Q u a r te r s Photo by Christian Hinkle 28
Laissez les bons temps rouler! Let the good times roll captures the festive and Mardis Grasesque nightlife that is part of New Orleans and Bourbon Street’s well known reputation, but this most fascinating of cities embodies so much more than that. New Orleans was founded by the French exactly 300 years ago in spring of 1718, and was initially named Nouvelle Orléans. This was followed by a 40 year rule by the Spanish, hence the Spanish architecture in the famous French Quarter, and finally it was bought by the United States in the 1803. Also known as the Big Easy, New Orleans, the birthplace of Jazz, is revered for its vibrant live-music scene, and for its spicy, unique cuisine that embodies its history of French, African and American cultures – a cuisine that combines singular tastes to create a fascinating storyline through food. N ow t h a t s p i r i t h a s f o u n d i t s way t o D ow n t ow n S a n D i e g o ! Of course, where there is good food and a feel good vibe, there is a story of human connection. The right combination of people and circumstance is always the foundation for a place that quickly connects to the community and fulfills a certain need for its environment. Bud and Rob's New Orleans Bistro embodies that in many ways. A cozy Downtown San Diego bistro bringing authentic Cajun & Creole food to Southern California taste buds needing a little extra spice in their lives! Bud Deslatte and Robert Adams are not new to the restaurant business. They have done this more than a dozen times, across different city and state lines creating some 14 successful restaurants in New Orleans, Atlanta, Bay Area, Portland and San Diego of course, that they eventually always sold to one of their employees. Most of which are still running today continuing the legacy of Bud's cooking and carrying on the spirit and taste of his lineage and his love of food. And now, this dynamic duo is bringing their talent of combining amazing food with a cozy warm atmosphere to Downtown San Diego with a bistro that will make you fall in love with Cajun food all over again if you’re already a believer, and if you are not, without a doubt this should be your introduction to creole cooking.
. . . . D owntown San Diego
Paddlewheel Boat
Photo of Bud's first restaurant in New Orleans hanging on the wall at the new San Diego Bistro
New Orleans Building
30
B u d , a N e w O r l e a n s n a t i v e, opened the doors to his first restaurant in his hometown in 1979, taking off on a journey to become a life-mission of spreading knowledge of his heritage through food. A picture of his first restaurant still hangs on the wall at the new San Diego bistro, where, as partner Rob explains, “the recipes remain true to Bud’s original dishes, and the taste remains true to traditional New Orleans style Cajun and Creole food.” Bud and Rob met in 1992 and have now put their restaurant-making skills to test many times over, but Rob explains that in all endeavors, “Everything is created around Bud’s food.” And, when you taste the food you quickly find out why. However, everything around the food fits as well, it all feels true to the food’s heritage. You believe it all. If Bud’s food is there to feed your soul with just the right amount of spice, Rob’s hospitality and attention to detail create the kind of cozy and comfy environment that slowly takes a restaurant from being a business you frequent, to a place of comfort, of connection, and of community…. and what is more New Orleans than that?
WHEN WiNE CAME CALLiNG...
32
a candid talk with CHARLES MILLER & MICHAEL KENNEDY b y C y n t h i a M a l o n e
34
Chandler Hill Vineyards in St. Louis, Missouri
“My favorite wine is a wine I haven’t tried yet.” Said Charles Miller, Bar Manager at Chandler Hill Vineyards in St. Louis, Missouri as he wiped the bar and poured another glass for the tasting. The way Charles speaks about wine is mesmerizing. The passion in his voice sends chills down my spine as he tells me about State of Mind, a new label Chandler Hill has come out with that features wine from Napa and Oregon. He and I connect on a number of things – French whites, the wine bible, Windows on the World and the documentary, SOMM. It’s surprising when he tells me he hasn’t been in the wine business all that long and in fact, he spent his life pursuing a music career. An injury caused him to step back from the trumpet and while in recovery he began studying wine to pass the time. “It was something that my then fiancée, now wife, was very into and I figured that being a part of the classical music world, having some knowledge of wine would come in handy.” Flash forward years later and the initial spark led to working at a bakery in an attempt to be noticed by the wine merchant next door –which worked- to present day where only a short seven months ago he made the switch into wine full-time. Mutual friends brought Charles and Michael Kennedy, Director at Chandler Hill, together. “During those six months I wasn’t playing the trumpet, I shifted my consciousness from music into wine and it took over my life. He was managing at the Wine Spot in Cleveland when he was given the opportunity to come to Chandler Hill and the rest is history. Charles is taking his Certified Sommeliers Exam in April 2018 and is on his way to becoming a Master Sommelier. “I don’t know how I get roped into these high-pressure situations,” Charles mused. “Maybe I need it? From auditioning as a classical trumpet player to taking the sommelier exam, I love being the last person in the practice room. I love diving in full force.”
Cynthia Malone at Chandler Hill Vineyards
36
Chandler Hill Vineyards in St. Louis, Missouri I asked him about how he got the opportunity to go to the Cayman Cookout; an event that brings brilliant chefs from around the world to the Cayman Islands to hold tastings, go on tours, host dinners and be involved in a multitude of culinary delights along the magnificent Seven Mile Beach in the Cayman Islands. “When I got that call, my mind was so blown. I was told they were going to send me on this trip and that’s how we were going to launch State of Mind Wines. It was a true jaw-dropping moment.” Little did Charles know, but he and Michael Kennedy would be the wine provider for the celebrity chefs at their special dinner and Chef Eric Ripert and Dominique Crenn would be among the first of the public to taste their wine. At that time, State of Mind had been in the works for a year and January was the official launch of the brand. I spoke with Director Michael Kennedy about the launch of the new label and what consumers can expect. “The brand itself is really unique and focused on things that all chefs and wine people love, which is travel; a place telling an authentic story of where things come from. To have an opportunity to share those wines with people at the highest level and respect in the industry, is not something you think is going to happen- so when it does you soak it in.” State of Mind happened because a great group of wine lovers came together in 2008 with the goal to create something that reflected their passion for wine, travel and experience. We built Chandler Hill Winery in Missouri to make great wines in the style we wanted – creating wines that capture the essence of where they’re from- the terroir especially; the entire concept is based on terroir. Our goal is to respect what the grape needs and that is the guiding principle of why we produce what we produce.”
The wines at Chandler Hill are unique and some of the lightest and brightest of wines I have had out of Missouri. But State of Mind doesn’t stick to their home soil, they make wine out of Napa and Oregon as well. Every one of the wines I tasted at Chandler Hill was dry, the only off-dry wine they make has about 2 ½ % residual sugar, which is 1 /10th as sweet as a Coca-Cola to put it in perspective. “It’s like putting make-up on an already pretty girl. We like the purity of our wine to shine through.” Michael mused.
38
Chandler Hill Vineyards in St. Louis, Missouri “California has such a unique climate, Napa specifically, from the inner valley to the coastal valley. From Mayacamas to Calistoga to the elegance of Rutherford there are microclimates with probably 100 smaller microclimates within them. Then there’s the Finger Lakes and Willamette Valley that have so much to offer and such an incredible history. State of Mind is all about appreciating the incredible history the United States is making in wine.” It is clear he is passionate about putting more California wines on the map. The US is quite young when it comes to winemaking but there are so many wonderful wines that come out of the U.S. because we are arguably the most diverse wine growing region in the world. The team at Chandler Hill is full of passion and drive which leads to an impressive product. “We are really lucky to have Charles, every choice he has made has made him who he is now. He’s created an incredible challenge for himself in music and now and he is a total gem for the organization.” So how did Michael get into the wine business? His passion was fueled when his French teacher told his class that when a child is baptized, the French drop a sip of wine on the babies’ tongue – that’s how important it is to the culture. He got somewhat of an earlier start into wines – at the age of 12 to be exact – at a time when kids were stealing vodka from their parent’s liquor cabinet I was wondering about Bordeaux.” Kennedy’s encouragement into cultural exploration by his parents led him to where he is today; opening his own wine label, Component Wines in Napa Valley where his focus is showcasing the varietal as a whole. Take his 2014 100% Petit Verdot; it’s a lateripening, high-tannin grape with a thick skin and dark exotic aromas; but even with a resume like that, it’s only used 15% at most in a blend. Kennedy is bringing it to the spotlight and letting it tell its story.
“The challenge lies in doing something nobody has done before.” Kennedy added, “when you’re doing something different there’s a challenge in explaining what you’re doing and just because it hasn’t been done doesn’t mean it isn’t a good concept or that it can’t be done.” Kennedy is getting people outside of their preconceived notions of what a quality region is and helping find something special in each state. As I ended the call with Michael, I let him know I ordered a bottle of the State of Mind 2016 Sauvignon Blanc from Napa Valley. “It has this great volcanic ash in it that I think you will love.” Michael said. And love I did. I saved the bottle for a special dinner and it was the showstopper of the evening. It was the lightest Sauvignon Blanc I’ve had and had a great minerality to it. With notes of peach, grapefruit and fresh cut grass. The ash was subtle but present on the palate and I was immediately disappointed yet grateful for the one bottle I had. The good thing though, it’s an easy order online. It even came with a wine glass, etched with the Chandler Hill logo. Wine is bottled history, even if the history is a short one. The opportunity to explore the terroir of the United States through the bold flavors of State of Mind and Component wines is an exciting opportunity and I’ll have to agree with Charles, my favorite wine is the next one on the list.
YOU TAKE DELIGHT NOT IN A CITY'S SEVEN OR SEVENTY WONDERS, BUT IN THE ANSWER IT GIVES TO A QUESTION OF YOURS. Italo Calvino, Invisible Cities
40
THE POWER of
Claudette Cooper Owner & Broker
465 10th Ave San Diego, Ca 92101 C. 619.241.5447 License ID 01412748 E. Claudette@ClaudetteCooper.com www.BuySellRentSanDiego.com
Each OfďŹ ce Individually Owned & Operated
BEHIND all YOUR DECISIONS
42
the art of forest bathing shinrin-yoku
Shinrin-yoku can best be translated into “forest bathing” or the “taking in of the forest environment,” by being ‘bathed’ among trees in the forest, or herwise as a more general practice by being in physical contact with nature. This idea was developed in Japan in the 1980s and takes a prominent place in how the Japanese view preventive health care, and healing in general when it comes to health and medicine. Humans have always known this at some basic instinctual level, however, the past 30 years has also given rise to enough research to scientifically prove the benefits of Shinrin-yoku. Forest Bathing has been shown to boost immune system nctioning, reduce blood pressure, reduce stress, improve mood, increase ability to focus (even in children with ADHD), accelerate recovery from surgery or illness, increase energy level, and improve sleep! It was only in the 90s that the Japanese Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries invented the specific term Shinrin-yoku. However, our intertwined relationship with nature and trees more specifically goes back to the very ro s of our existence, and so it may n be as surprising as it initially seems to find out that research shows this: Trees release certain compounds that could be beneficial for us, such as the scent of cedar. Back in 2009, a small study found that these tree-derived compounds — known as phytoncides — reduced stress hormones in men and women while increasing white-blood cell activity. Further research has shown that inhaling cedar wood oils can lead to a small reduction in blood pressure. The science of Shinrin-yoku is still in its infancy, but research in this area is growing, and so is the practice among all health perspectives and practitioners. 44
I tried to discover, in the rumor of forests and waves, words that her men could n hear, and I pricked my ears to listen to the revelation of their harmony. Gustave Flaubert, November
THERAPY + MOVEMENT + NATURE
A Q&A with
Dr. Sarah Gray 46
To better understand the delicate and yet complicated relationship between health, psychology, and nature we turned to Dr. Sarah Gray. Dr. Gray is a Clinical Health Psychologist and Instructor at Harvard Medical School who specializes in behavioral medicine, pain psychology and rehabilitation psychology with multiple clinics at local Boston hospitals and in her private practice, Integrative Psychology and Behavioral Medicine. She is also one of the growing numbers of psychologists who offer walk-and-talk therapy - combining the benefits of movement, nature, and therapy all in one! Although more of us are now familiar with the concept of mind-body in health... many people are still unfamiliar with Behavioral Medicine, how do you define this approach? Behavioral Medicine involves the use of mindbody techniques to promote, maintain and/or improve physical and emotional health. In my work this takes many forms such as using motivational and values-based techniques to help my clients make lifestyle changes around healthy eating or movement, using biofeedback to reduce or control tension headaches and migraines, teaching meditation and relaxation practices to lower blood pressure and reduce stress, involving virtual reality or mirror box therapy to improve chronic pain, or utilizing guided visualization or medical hypnosis to reduce chemo-induced nausea in a cancer patient. More and more research confirms what most people probably instinctively sense.... that nature, being physically in contact with nature, is good for your mental and physical health. Can you tell us a bit more about this connection and how it translates into our everyday psychology? Until relatively recently in human evolution, humans have spent most of life deeply and inextricably connected to, immersed in and dependent upon nature. Our physiology is hardwired in many ways to respond to nature on a cellular level- for example, our circadian rhythms that influence sleep and the timed release of vital hormones and chemicals are intricately tied to exposure to light, though
these days the blue light of our technological devices may be more prominent than sunlight. Being in nature with exposure to fresh air, sunlight, and the visuals of plant life, open sky, flowing water, and solid earth as our ancestors were may in part be responsible for the numerous physical, mental and emotional benefits that have been reported and studied. In fact, even reminders of our connection to nature seem to help- studies have shown that simply having a plant in an office or a picture of a nature scene hanging on the wall, people have experienced improved mood, better focus, and faster healing. With the growing impact of urbanization and technology, psychologically and physically we benefit from making space for contact with nature in some form. You, as a Psychologist, offer walk-and-talk therapy in your private practice. What makes you do this as a clinician? How has the experience unfolded thus far? I was drawn to offer Walk and Talk therapy to my clients for a number of reasons. Knowing the research on the myriad benefits of exposure to nature on focus, mood, stress and physical health, I wanted to be able to offer my busy clients a chance to access more time outdoors. I purposefully chose my office location in part because it abuts a wonderful tree-lined bike and walking path that runs along a large pond. Being able to offer Walk and Talk therapy also has the added benefits of helping my clients exercise their bodies while at the same time benefitting from nature and being able to process thoughts and emotions with clinical guidance. In fact, one of the psychological techniques I am trained in, EMDR, notes a benefit to processing emotional material while experiencing bilateral stimulation, such as the bilateral activation of the body when repetitiously stepping with the right and left legs. Other research has shown the stress-reduction benefits of repetitious,
48
absorbing, mindful activities in general, which is often the experience with Walk and Talk therapy. While this approach is not appropriate for everyone, for example- certain therapies such as biofeedback are usually better done in the office setting- many clients report that being able to take their therapy “off the couch and into nature” has been very beneficial. Challenges include making sure that confidentiality is maintained (this is discussed extensively beforehand) and changeable weather (especially here in New England), but with preparation and planning these are easily managed. The knowledge is there about nature's ability, per se, but it still seems elusive in practice, both in our clinical and in our cultural perspectives. What do you see the future to hold when it comes to this integration... of including nature in our health practices? I hear from many of my clients that they feel disconnected from the outdoors in their busy lives and struggle to find time to access experiences in nature but are craving that connection and sense of awe and groundedness that often comes with fully connecting with nature and all that it has to offer. I think we will see more psychology practices offering Walk and Talk therapy as a way to harness this healing power on all levels- mental, physical, emotional and even spiritual (in the sense that it adds to our sense of meaning and connection with something larger than ourselves). I think interest in mindfulness-based approaches have increased in part because people are searching for those experiences that allow them to slow down, be more present in the moment, and absorb and savor experiences, which mirrors the effect that time in nature often has on people as well, and that we could all benefit from. I use light box therapy with my patients for some forms of depression and ‘winter blues,’ and this has been quite helpful even if they are not able to get outside as much as they would like.
I know that already buildings, including the hospital that I work at, have incorporated nature into the building design by optimizing natural light exposure and views to the outdoors, which can have positive effects on staff and patients, and I see this as a trend that will continue in building and urban planning. I’ve heard of nature getaway cabins- off the grid but close enough to urban centers that people can escape to them for a night and take a break from electronics and be in nature, and I see this as something that we might ‘prescribe’ for a mental health reset. Finally, the research suggests that something as simple as having a plant on your desk or even a picture of a plant on your homescreen, can have positive effects, so I think we can even start on a small scale with trying to bring some connection to nature into our daily lives in the ways we can. How do you enjoy connecting with nature in your own life? Despite being in the urban Boston area, I am fortunate to work and live in areas that offer access to beautiful public parks and walkways, which I utilize frequently. I walk to work when I can and take walks outdoors, even if they are short ones, during the work day. I prefer to exercise outdoors over being in a gym, so I kayak, bike, hike, run, and cross-country ski outdoors to keep my body moving. Having grown up on the coast of Maine, the ocean has always been my place to re-charge and continues to be my favorite way to connect with nature and engage the senses.
You can find Dr. Gray on twitter @DrSarahNGray or DrSarahGray.com
FATHERS & SONS
by Dr. Colleen Mullen 50
how unresolved father and son issues manifest in adult relationships
52
Ever wonder why a guy is possessive, talks about future commitments but then keeps putting them off, or holds in all his complaints until he explodes in an end of the world commentary on the relationship? Well, this may be due to unresolved father-son issues. We don’t usually think of men in terms of having “Daddy Issues”, but when a man has either been abandoned by his father, or was abused in some way by him, there are ways he may display these unresolved issues in his adult relationships. Unresolved father-son issues can develop when a man has a strained or non-existent relationship with his father. His father may have been in his life, but emotionally unavailable. Emotional unavailability is most often present when a parent has an addiction – this could be alcoholism, drug addiction or being left behind while Dad pursues his career as in the case of the workaholic father. Although, emotional unavailability can also stem from a personality disorder, or the father’s own unresolved father-son issues. In all those cases, the signal to the child is that they are not as important as the other things that capture Dad’s attention. The other behavior that can cause problems when Dad stays around is, of course, if a father is verbally or physically abusive. Then there are the cases in which the father drops out of the picture altogether at some point in a man’s life. If this happens early in life, even if the adult child has no recollection of Dad in his life, he may develop a feeling that he wasn’t worth sticking around for or was not worth loving.
If he was old enough to remember Dad leaving, then, that can cause some negative emotions around being abandoned by one of the only 2 people in the world who are definitely not supposed to abandon you.
When a man has experienced his father in any of the ways mentioned, there are several character traits that can develop. They may be distrustful of other men. The adult child may not have a lot of other male friends or talks about having been betrayed by others he has befriended. This is often a sign that they lack trust in others or they perceive that all the other men they befriend are potential betrayers. A man who is socially isolated can over-attach himself to a partner and expect that all their time be spent together as he will not have a need for a “guy’s night out” or have a pal to go to the gym with. If a partner has been in need of some attention, it may feel nice in the beginning, but after a while, this sort of attention can feel controlling and suffocating. They may avoid commitment in their relationships. This does not mean that they won’t talk about a future, it just may mean that they never really get around to “putting a ring on it” even though they say they feel that way about a partner. This is born out of the fear that others too will abandon them in the way they were abandoned as a child (either physically or emotionally). They can be wary of speaking up out of fear of punishment. If an adult child has been physically or emotionally abused by his father, he may be more fearful to express his true emotions when uncomfortable. The climate in his childhood home may have set the tone for him to be passive when it comes to decision making or saying what he really needs or wants in the relationship. He will seemingly be fine with a relationship as it is, but in reality, he will be keeping a laundry list of items to throw back at his partner when he finally lets his anger flag fly. They can be suspicious of their partner’s behavior unjustly. Being abandoned either emotionally or physically, or being abused by his father can leave a guy distrusting in general, whether it is a fear that you will leave him or fear that you will betray him (which is a form of emotional abandonment).
54
Being in a relationship with a man with such unresolved parent-child issues can be trying and frustrating, especially if he lacks insight into his behavior. And, although he might express being in love, he may avoid the conversation about taking the next step. If he does actually discuss this, he may then back away when it’s time to move forward with moving in together or engagement timelines. In conversations I have had with people who were in relationships with men with these “issues”, some common emotional themes appeared. A lot of feelings of confusion for being on the receiving end of their partner’s jealousy, sometimes to the point of allowing themselves to get into situations where they would do “check-ins” periodically through the day so that he would be comfortable that the partner was not cheating. In the end, the partner was worn out and felt unduly scrutinized. They reported difficulty with having their own social life without including him and reported feelings of being suffocated emotionally.
If he struggles with connecting with others, maybe it’s time he goes to counseling to talk his concerns over with someone who can help. Offer to go to couples’ counseling if he won’t go to individual therapy on his own. Very often the couples’ therapist will refer one or both partners out for individual therapy while they work on the relationship. It doesn’t matter how someone gets to counseling, just what they do once they are there. If you are the guy who recognizes himself in this article or can hear past partners’ complaints as they were laid out on this page, look inward. Why would you hold on to this pain and let it interfere in the present? How much more fulfilling would your life will be when you learn to let down those walls and let others in, taking a chance on truly being loved?
In situations where there was talk of moving in, or even getting married, partners often reported feeling that they were on the receiving end of what felt like empty-intentioned conversations. On reflection, they believe their partner wanted to be able to follow through on the commitments discussed, but as they got closer along their timeline, their partner was not able to step up and began pulling away. If you see yourself reflected in these scenarios with a partner with these unresolved issue, can you do anything about it? Let’s cover the “can’t” first. You can’t make them change and you can’t morph yourself into being the “perfect partner” to take away their insecurities, fear of abandonment or jealous behaviors. It’s just not possible and not healthy for you to attempt. It will leave you feeling resentful and lonely. What can you do? You can talk to your partner. You can express how you feel when he does not trust you. You can talk to him about your need to keep cultivating your personal interests and relationships with friends.
Dr. Colleen Mullen, Psy.D., LMFT
is the Founder of the Coaching Through Chaos private practice in San Diego, California. She is also the host of The Coaching Through Chaos and the Shrink to Shrink on Film podcasts. You can find her on Twitter @DrColleenMullen or CoachingThroughChaos.com
Photo by Jo Ann Snover
C O C K T A I L S and a cold night in T E X A S ! A u s ti n
Ho me of Sunshin e , Go o d Vibes an d Keeping Thing s Weird .
Bar to n Spring s, music festivals an d SXSW make Austin the perfect p la ce for a g etaw ay. But w hat if y o u’re there o ver the winter mo nths? N ot to fret , Austin is fun y ear-ro un d , y o u just have to kn ow w here to g o.
56
b y C y n t h i a M a lo n e What is a girl to do when out and about during an unusually chilly Austin winter? Eat and Drink. Two things I would be doing anyway no matter the temperature. The Austin food and drink scene is one to be reckoned with. Not just a place for Tex-Mex (though it’s home to some of the best out there) there’s a quaint spot for whatever you fancy. If you’re downtown, stop by The Grove Wine Bar for wine flights. Order a plate of Focaccia Bread and just watch your worries melt away with each bite. If you want to impress a date, have a girls’ night or just surround yourself with beauty – Eberly is your place. From the outside, the seemingly small white brick building with ivy is pretty but gives no indication of the glamour inside. I audibly gasped when I walked in and this is not my first marble-clad bar. From the finishings, the floors, the glass greenhouseesque area where you and ten friends can eat dinner is stunning. We sat at the bar and made it just in time for happy hour which I will now forever call, the happiest hour when at the Eberly. Even the bar has a unique story. It was moved to Austin from the historic and now closed Cedar Tavern of Greenwich Village. A bar where the owners of Eberly had spent many a good night and did not want to see it lost with the rest of the memories. The mahogany bar was built in 1886 and is over 140 years old and now part of the Eberly, adding more magic to an already charming place. The name rolls off the tongue like homemade butter; Eb-er-ly. I had to know more. Named after Angelina Eberly, an innkeeper in Austin in 1842 who stood up to President Sam Houston and his Rangers by firing a cannon to stave off the rebellion and preserve Austin as the capital of Texas. You can’t ask for much more than that in a bar on a cold Texas night!
58
THE
PAY
GAP
by
Michael Morgan
60
Considering that Fortune 500’s 2017 list of top CEOs counts a paltry 32 females (6.4% of the total), it’s hard to be convinced that the term “boys club” is anything but axiomatic when talking about the upper echelons of professional management. But it’s not only these lucrative, top-level corporate jobs that still report a male-heavy presence. A deep look at the many other job markets that have been resistant to female hires reveals a frightening aspect of our collective subconscious. While social and governmental initiatives throughout the developed world have increased the number of women filling top management positions and are steadily narrowing the gender pay gap, experts admit that as much as 40% of this disparity remains unexplained. Even adjusting for factors like genderdominated fields of study – something still doesn’t add up! One contending explanation is called “pollution theory”. It’s the idea that men hesitate to give women access to traditionally all-male occupations not because women are unworthy or threaten to replace male employees, but because society subconsciously equates ‘women’s work’ as less valuable work. Let’s first understand this: even in occupations dominated by a female presence, women get paid less than men. That is, even for jobs that require the same level of difficulty and expertise, ‘women’s work’ is valued less than similar occupations traditionally held by their male counterparts. Claudia Goldin, Harvard economist and author of The Pollution Theory of Discrimination, argues that this simple fact has led to a generations-long struggle to right the lopsided scales of economic fairness. Goldin’s theory goes on to suggest that the presence of women in the workplace doesn’t threaten a man’s ability to earn, but the social status attributed to his job. In essence, “new female hires may reduce the prestige of a previously all-male occupation”, she says. It’s a problem so ingrained in the human psyche that its origin predates recorded history. In his 2007 book Categorically Unequal: The American Stratification System, sociologist Douglas Massey uses modern isolated communities in developing countries as exemplars. His studies show how small communities in which the sexes share hunting and foraging duties exhibit a greater overall level of egalitarianism.
However, once societies separate those duties along gender lines inequality exposes itself. All-male groups tend to cultivate aggressive and competitive character traits while all-female groups tend to reinforce more nurturing and compassionate attributes. “The end result,” Massey explains, “is a divergence in genderspecific attitudes and behaviors that work to the detriment of females once the two sexes reunite.” At one time, inherent biological differences, like strength, and unequal access to education resulted in far more men being better equipped for some of the most skilled and physically demanding jobs. But with technological advances leveling physical differences and women earning 60% of American baccalaureate degrees, few would argue that women today are illequipped to perform as personal finance advisors, web developers or paramedics – all of which fields have been resistant to equalizing new hires along gender lines. In a recent interview with VICE, clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson suggested that eliminating things like makeup and high heels from the workplace could minimize how women are treated in male-dominated scenarios. The idea is that the wholesale removal of female sexual makers would reduce the male compulsion to view women as “others”, thus lead to a more neutral environment. But powerhouse evolutionary biologist duo Bret Weinstein and Heather Heying of Evergreen State College disagree. They argue that any attempt to solve the gender misalignment puzzle by altering the way women behave in the workplace is impractical at best and flagrant victim-blaming at worst. Between genderspecific clothing, inherent biological traits (including scent) and the litany of other social norms, far too many gender markers exist to hope that the elimination of the few most obvious would eradicate the perception of women as different from men. Those who lack a broad understanding of the issue will point to the (slowly) growing number of women filling top management positions and be satisfied labeling it “progress”. But the women who buck the odds and reach that rarified air are too often viewed as exceptions to their gender, not members of it. So while data-points such as these are easy to collect and add a wrinkle of pizzazz to reporting, this powercentric, top-down perspective can actually serve to reinforce old stereotypes.
Without these women having an increased visibility as “women” in the workplace, the value of “women’s work” will never climb the ladder with them. With each year, the gender wage gap gets more press. Public figures like Jennifer Lawrence, who spearheads her own aggressive social media campaign, are doing well to bring the issue into the hearts and minds of their fans. But simply learning about a monster living under your bed isn’t the same as evicting it. Tackling the problem is such a tricky task because we’re dealing with a subconscious association across an entire population. Whether we want to or not, our society still equates women with less valuable work. While lawmakers throughout the developed world are continually drafting policy that promotes equal pay across genders, all energy is directed in a top-down fashion. Perhaps the answer to eradicating the gender wage disparity isn’t just by paying women an equal amount as men who perform the same duties, but by also starting at the bottom and looking up. If we increased women’s wages in women-dominated sectors like nursing, teaching, social work for example, it stands to reason that the overall perceived value of “women’s work” will also increase. Because, in an environment where the base value of work cannot be drawn along gender lines, the concept of prestige pollution cleans itself up rather quickly!
62
Unique concierge services for all your real estate needs!
Susan Sajadi
C 832.517.2892 E S u s a n . S a j a d i @ R u s s Ly o n . c o m E Susan.Sajadi@Sothebys.com Realtor
CO64
HABiTATiON
by Cynthia Malone
CO-
HABiTATiON
A shiny new set of keys is handed to you by your significant other, the butterflies flutter and It’s official-you’re moving in together. Suddenly, there’s a whirlwind of things to consider. You’re in a new chapter now and from furniture to the future of your relationship, there are a few factors to think about before signing that new lease. Research shows that postponing the U-Haul until you’ve at least reached the six-month mark is key. Have a few arguments under your belt and get past the initial “honeymoon” stage. Making sure you are doing well as individuals and not as a co-dependent couple is a great first step in seeing how you will do together in the long run. If your heart isn’t leaping out of your chest to move in with someone, then perhaps take a moment to reflect on why you’re making this move. If saving on rent to see each other more is the approach, that’s all well and good, but be sure that neither of you would be in a bind if co-habitation doesn’t work out. Communicate and talk through the boring stuff- chores, groceries, bills, all not-so-romantic conversations but conversations that will keep the romance going long-term. Even if it’s marriage on the brain, that might still not be the best reason. Are you moving in together to “test the waters”?
The reasoning behind it (to see if you are compatible under one roof) sounds alright but if you aren’t compatible living separately, living together won’t change that. Co-habitation isn’t a trial run before marriage, you can never know what’s coming five to ten years down the road, it’s all part of the adventure -and the deal- when committing to someone like that. The present is as peachy as pie but what about the future? Are you on a similar path? Do you have the same ideas about the direction you both want to go and have you communicated your own goals and dreams? Finding out six months into a new lease that your S.O. is applying for jobs in Taiwan could be too big a curveball if it hasn’t been talked about. Living with someone long-term and it not working out is almost as complex as a divorce-or can be. Even if you aren’t sharing finances, you are probably splitting the costs of living, have bought furniture together, hung up photos together, gotten rid of the second coffee maker because you only need one, etc. Things that get messy if it doesn’t work out.
66
A shift in culture has of course contributed to these statistics. Sixty years ago, courtship was an art and a rite of passage for couples wanting to take it to the next level. Now, with men and women attending college, the rise of the corporate ladder, the delay in having kids and the ability to get out and travel – marriage has been put on the back burner. Knowing that it’s acceptable to move in with your significant other prior to tying the knot, the ‘rush’ doesn’t exist like it used to. Millennials are postponing marriage longer and longer. In 1960, the median age of marriage was 20.3 for females and 22.8 for males. In 2010, the average grew to 26.5 for females and 28.7 for males. In the 60s, 72 percent of adults over 18 were married. That is certainly not how it is today.
That said, a study by the Martin Prosperity Institute done in 2013, indicated that singles make up more than half the population in 27 states; single people make up half of all American adults so those reading this who are looking for love – the odds are in your favor! As a whole, society isn’t rushing to do things so don’t feel pressure to rush either.
The best way to know if you’re doing the right thing, is to listen to your intuition. Trust yourself and go with what you feel. Ask yourself the right questions and trust your instincts and the rest will fall into place. As for your decorating styles, you may be on your own on that one!
CO-
In 2010, that number sits at 51 percent of adults. As for same-sex couples, there isn’t a lot of data seeing as same-sex marriage hasn’t always been legal. However, the Census Bureau estimates nearly 252,000 households are headed by same-sex partners in 2013- a rise from 182,000 estimated in 2012.
HABiTATiON
There isn’t a term besides “breaking-up” to give to the weight of the situation. Not quite divorce but not a routine split either. Conscious Uncoupling? I’ll leave that to Gwyneth, but there is something to be said about this committed/unmarried dynamic.
68
a
a GREEN
MiNDSET by M.K . Angeles
In today’s fast-paced, highly connected society, publications are popping up to highlight a lifestyle that is not so much new as it is now considered niche. Green or “sustainable” living takes many forms - as evidenced by the variety of practices and approaches that share the same description. But, what does it even mean to be “green” in modern society? What has brought us to this point where behaving sustainably has become such a complicated psychological threshold? A recent study published in the journal “Personal Relationships” suggests that an individual’s mindset towards disposable objects extends into their feelings towards social ties. Author Omri Gillath, associate professor of Psychology at the University of Kansas and co-author Lucas Keefer from the University of Dayton, found that when a person relocates frequently to new cities, attitudes of disposability develop towards objects such as furniture, books, and merchandise. Gillath and Keefer’s research also reveals that such a mindset comes at a cost - namely in the realm of profound interpersonal relationships. The conditions of mobility which drive success have created a disposable culture that promotes superficial relationships rather than deeply rooted ones. "Research suggests only deeper high-quality ties provide us with the kind of support we need like love, understanding, and respect," said Gillath. "You need these very close ties to feel safe and secure and function properly. If social ties are seen as disposable, you're less likely to get what you need from your network, which can negatively affect your mental and physical health as well as your longevity."
70
It is not a stretch then to think that as a society we may take that same attitude towards things, as being that much more disposable and easily replaceable. A majority of shoppers in the United States still use plastic bags when checking out at the grocery. Banning or charging for plastic bags has proven to be a successful way of reducing consumption in other parts of the world. Companies save money on the expense of bags while accomplishing a “green” initiative, and consumers are by default put into a position where it will cost them to not be green. Implementing such bans and per bag fees have reduced plastic bag consumption in some cities by as much as 60-90%. Nearly all of Europe has followed suit by either banning or charging for bags. Joel Makower, author of “The Green Consumer”, sheds light on why consumers are not likely to make these changes without a little push. “Consumers, for all their good intentions, don’t really want to change. They want what they want — and what they feel they need and deserve — with little regard for where it comes from, how it’s made, how it’s used, and its impacts throughout its life-cycle.” Tony Webb, who founded Ethical Corporation, says “ALL the research shows, when you cut through it, that it will be systems change at the ‘top end’ that delivers sustainability at scale: By companies, in R&D, design, takeback and product makeup, and by governments, which will have to be pushed by alliances of companies and others to help support these changes.”
Developing more sustainable behaviors across a culture is not complicated. Humans
commonly behave according to group mentalities, and newly established societal norms. So in order to create more sustainable behaviors, individuals must believe that “everyone else is doing it”.
To apply this theory of the power of societal norms over individual behavior, Arizona State University professor Robert Cialdini and a team of researchers collaborated with a local hotel to influence guests to reuse their towels. Placed in each of the hotel’s 260 rooms was a card with one of the five messages: “Help the hotel save energy”, “Help save the environment”, “Partner with us to help save the environment”, “Help save resources for future generations”, and “Join your fellow citizens in helping to save the environment”. The last message, which suggested a societal norm, was proven to be the most successful in getting guests to reuse their towels - 41% of those guests complied. The messages implying environmental protection and the benefit of future generations came in second with a 31% participation rate. It is not surprising that the least successful message was the one which spoke to doing the hotel a favor. Only twenty percent of those guests chose to reuse their towels.
72
Because the conservative mindset is forged within an individual’s psychology, and that psychology is so heavily influenced by what a societal structure embraces, then the true battle occurs when advertising, film, social media, and even music sing in opposition to the values which make humans behave sustainably. If the overall value and the cultural norm is set in such a way that more, and bigger, and newer is always better then a green mindset is difficult to achieve. But, what if the cultural norm was to be set towards quality over quantity, experiences over things, and connections over constant competition. The issue becomes not so much a matter of public consciousness, but of the awareness that the normalcy of these behaviors is primarily driven by the free market which influences and glamorizes consumerism at the expense of long-term thinking. In creating a new normal, one that embraces green living as commonplace, individuals and communities can make the most of their time on the planet, and save resources for future generations by switching their focus onto conservation and sustainable practices, with a perspective focused on care and quality.
WE ARE NATURE
Photo by Alex Buts
74
76
THE GiN COCKTAiL
4 cocktails to MAKE YOU A GiN GURU
by Micky Thakur Micky Thakur is a Berlin based
Food and Cocktail Stylist who loves to create unique recipes to inspire our creativity while satisfying our taste buds and our aesthetic sensibilities! He describes himself as a family guy who is passionate about traveling, always in search of new inspiration, with a penchant for spicy food, Gin cocktails, and shoes. And, one line says it all about his love of cocktails, “Well, I think about cocktails before I fall asleep!� He gives us four of his most popular Gin Cocktail Recipes - each one a show stopper for any cocktail party or for any budding mixologist looking for inspiration. You can find more of his creations on IG @VEERMASTERBERLIN
78
THE GiN COCKTAiL
GREEN PA R A D I S E
INGREDIENTS 4cl Marinated cucumber juice 3cl Thai basil in sed Gin 1 Egg white 4cl Champagne 2cl Lemon juice 2tsp Mirin 1tsp Sugar Salt to taste
Shake all ingredients with cucumber juice and pour in a chilled glass. Garnish with favorite owers. 80
Cucumber Marinade Cut cucumber in small pieces and marinate with Mirin, sugar, salt, and lemon juice. Let sit for a few hours. Grind the cucumber with marinade, and then ďŹ ne strain.
THE GiN COCKTAiL
LITTLE SPRING
INGREDIENTS 10 Raspberries 1 Starfruit 2cl Lime Juice 3cl Lemongrass Simple Syrup 6cl wild berries tonic water 4cl Gin 1 cube of Mango Parfait
Grind raspberries and star fruit with lemon grass syrup, lemon juice and a few ice cubes. Then in a shaker mix the sorbet with gin and wild berry tonic.
Lemongrass Simple Syrup
Pour in cold glass, cut any shape of mango parfait and place in cocktail. Garnish with owers and fresh fruits. 82
1 part Sugar 3 parts water 1 lemongrass Boil together until sugar dissolves
M a n g o Pa r f a i t
100ml Milk 125g Egg yellow 125g Sugar 200g Mango Puree 250g Whipped Cream Whisk Egg yellow and sugar together Then add milk and mix Double boil all the mi ure until you get a smo h consistency Add Mango purĂŠe and whipped cream Pour the mi ure into a container and freeze overnight
THE GiN COCKTAiL
MANGO TANGO
INGREDIENTS 8cl Mango juice 3cl Tonka-VanillaLemongrass Syrup 2cl Lime juice 2cl Yuzu juice 1tsp Pop candy 4cl Gin
Tonka Vanilla Lemongrass Syrup 1 Part sugar Boil together until sugar dissolves 1 Part water 1 String vanilla 1 Tonka 1 Lemongrass 84
Shake all ingredients together and pour in cold glass. Garnish with favorite owers and fresh fruit.
THE GiN COCKTAiL
RED TANGO
INGREDIENTS 4cl Blood orange juice 2cl Thyme lemongrass Syrup 3cl Pear juice 2cl Brewed orange tea 2cl Lime juice 4cl Gin Grated fresh ginger
Thyme Lemongrass Syrup 1 part Sugar 3 part water 1 Lemongrass 5 sprigs of Thyme Boil Lemongrass, sugar, and water until sugar dissolves. Turn off the heat and put thyme in syrup and let it get infused for 20 minutes. 86
Shake all ingredients in a shaker with ice and pour in cold glass. Garnish with favorite owers.
THE GiN COCKTAiL
88
a p h o t o s e r i e s
GOODBYES
by M i r k o M a c a r i
90
G
O
M
O
i
r
D
k o
B
M
a
Y
c
a
E
r
i
S
92
G
O
M
O
i
r
D
k
o
B
M
Y
a
c
a
E
r
i
S
94
A Strange melancholy pervades me to which I hesitate to give the grave and beautiful name of sorrow. The idea of sorrow has always appealed to me but now I am almost ashamed of its complete egoism. I have known boredom, regret, and occasionally remorse, but never sorrow. Today it envelops me like a silken web, enervating and soft, and sets me apart from everybody else. Franรงoise Sagan
Bonjour Tristesse
T h e Fa c e l e s s Tr a v e l e r
I t ' s a l l a b o u t t h e t h i n g s t h a t le ave a n i m p re ss i o n ! It's not
about who I am. It's about
w h e re I go.
San Diego Coffee & Bites Edition 96
Wo o d y ' s B r e a k f a s t & B u r g e r s | S a n D i e g o , C a l i f o r n i a Whether a local to a city or a temporary visitor, one can never have enough coffee and casual bite options. If you are local to San Diego chances are you have at some point been to Woody’s, and if visiting and craving some coffee and breakfast with unobstructed views of The Pacific, then this unassuming spot will make you fall in love like the rest of us. Their upper deck offers seating with perfect ocean views and even a little privacy, should you be there laptop in hand planning to get a little work done! They start serving burgers at lunch time, and these burgers are juicy and a little famous around town, and the ocean breeze only makes them taste better. An additional perk, you also get to watch the San Diego lifeguards cruise around the beach for a little extra California-Baywatch-feel.
Ocean Lifeguard Services in San Diego began 100 years ago in 1918. At first, only three lifeguards were appointed. Today that number is close to 300, making it one of the largest professional lifeguard services in the United States.
Limited outside seating available
Minou Crêperie Pâtisserie | San Diego, California A new little Parisian addition to San Diego is Minou, a cozy new downtown Crêperie Pâtisserie by the same team behind longtime Gaslamp resident Cafe Chloe. Bon, c’est un peu de Paris et j’adore ça! Crêpes are their specialty, and they do them well. Crêpes actually originated from Bretagne, known to English speakers as Brittany, a region in the northwest of France. But, there is very little that is more Parisian than a hot crêpe with a taste of butter and a hint of sugar. All that said, their soups win the gold medal for me. The soups are unbelievable. What is there to say other than, do yourself a favor and try them. Any of them. For those staying away from Gluten, Minou is a good spot, all their crêpes are gluten-free, and they have daily gluten-free pastries. For those wanting to quickly pick up some food or coffee to go, they have a walk up window where to place your order quickly. They do offer beer and wine, but they close by 4:30-5:00, so this is not an evening spot!
98
Ke b a p S o f r a s i | S a n D i e g o , C a l i f o r n i a Kebap Sofrasi is a very new Turkish spot in Downtown San Diego, and they are still settling in. But, their food is on point and ready with a juicy punch! Spiced just right, the taste is authentic, and the portions are fairly large. And, if you are a lover of Turkish coffee,…well, this is the best Turkish Coffee currently being served in San Diego at a restaurant – because we all know the best Turkish Coffees are made at home by grandmas and aunties! But, this is close. Turkish brewing is actually the oldest method of preparing coffee – by boiling finely ground coffee beans with water, and sugar depending on taste, in a special coffee pot known as Ibrik or Cezve. And if as a coffee drinker you are new to the Turkish Coffee game, this is more Double Espresso than Americano with extra cream. This coffee is not shy, it punches you in the face with its coffeeness, and if prepared correctly it is absolutely delicious. Also, if you see someone cover their cup with the saucer after they are finished drinking it, to suddenly flip the cup over upside down, do not worry, they are simply trying to read their future in the remaining coffee grounds! The practice of reading leftover coffee grounds, also known as tasseography, is one of the oldest fortune-telling traditions in the world. Of course, Kebap Sofrasi only provides the coffee, you have to bring your own reading!
Tu r k i s h Coffe e
B a r b a r i B re a d & Yo g u r t A p p e t i z e r
Berry Cheese Tart raspberries & blueberries baked into a New York cheesecake on a shortbread crust topped with apricot glaze
Skybound Coffee + Desser t Lounge | San Diego, California If looking for a coffee and dessert shop that offers tasty sandwiches paired with a bit of a quirky attitude, Skybound Coffee + Dessert Lounge is your place. Hard to dislike a place that offers delicious desserts with an extra touch pizzazz when it comes to plating! Considering the casual setting and reasonable prices, the extra pretty adds to the experience. I usually get my coffee in a to-go cup, but have my dessert there so I can enjoy the plating paired with the people watching their Downtown location affords. But, fear not, should you get your sugar fix to go…. You will get the flower garnish all the same! And, their coffee beans are freshly roasted by a local San Diego roaster using the finest quality organic Arabica beans. Interestingly, they also do brunch… when they offer up the most unique and picture worthy Dragon Fruit mimosas!
100
LIVE LIFE in the FAST LANE
Co r s a V i t a . co m
P h o to by G e o r g e M ay e r
102
all the ways in which we b.ehave
the b. quarterly
104
the b. quarterly
