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CONTENT 02 Editor’s Note Rechelle-Lee Smith 03 Science and the Death of God Anonymous 05 Why Christians Are Failing at Being Christians Dani Page 06 If God Is Good, Why Do Bad Things Happen? Elisa Vital Jiménez 07
Body, Mind, and Soul Elsy Cornejo
09 Is God a Story Worth Telling? Anonymous 14 18 22 24 25
Questioning God Jasmine Pickett
You-soever Believes Kira Bruggemann
Hope in Times of Uncertainty Max Fer nandez Davila
The Different Colours of Faith Z o r i s h a Pe t e r s
A Question Worth Asking Anonymous
Layout Design by Jacqui McCarty
02
I once sat through a Bible study that was supposed to explore whether or not the Bible is valid. I know it seems paradoxical to go to a Bible Study in which the discussion about whether or not we should even be studying it, but I actually expected there to be invigorating discussion with various points of view presented. But no one posed “the” question. They sat there and read the Bible, satisfied with providing many examples of what an oxymoron would look like. Being the advocate of demonic behavior that I am, I asked, “Can anyone give me any evidence outside of the Bible that proves its validity?” There was a series of Bible thumping that followed. (I kid you not. Someone stood up and started slamming their fist into their Bible.) People were agitated at the fact that I had asked for something other than the Bible as a source of truth. By the end of the “Bible Study” no one was able to give me a solid answer. The more I explored the more I realized that no one could really give me concrete evidence for the validity of the Bible. I also realized that questioning God in front of a seemingly docile “Christian” (I use that term loosely) into a screaming maniac within a matter of moments.
editor’s note Rechelle-Lee Smith
I’ve spent about two years looking for solid evidence for the existence of God and have found none. That isn’t a long time to search, but the more I look, the more comfortable I am with knowing that I may probably never find the answer. But should there be an answer? If God is supposed to be someone that is beyond comprehension, does our explanation of God render him or her explainable and therefore limits him? If faith truly is the “substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen” why are we so bent on providing visible pieces of evidence that show that God exists? What’s the point of faith if we have all the answers? Is God still God if we know all about her? This issue will explore the stories and minds of those who have questioned and tested God and the results that followed. Can God take the scrutiny of a critical mind? Does God work as long as we don’t question him?
science & the death of god Anonymous
In ancient times, it was universally assumed that the earth was the centre of the ‘universe’ (the word universe wasn’t used until the first century AD). From today’s vantage point, we certainly can’t blame the ancients for their beliefs: To a hunter-gatherer living in East Africa 70,000 YA or a farmer cultivating the fertile crescent 20,000 YA, the places they inhabited felt like ‘the whole world’ to them. When early humans looked up into the sky, they connected the dots, so to speak, and at some point during the cognitive revolution (during which we evolved certain ‘higher functions’) groups of H. Sapiens began sharing stories about the Gods. In many of these stories, Deities occupied a different realm than ours; in ancient near eastern myth for example, the place of the Gods was separated from the earth by a firmament (rāqîa in Genesis). Nevertheless, our world maintained a status of tremendous cosmic significance: many ancient stories involve Gods (or God) travelling to the realm of humanity or vice versa. As monotheism developed over several thousand years, theology became increasingly rigid and formalized (in general). For many religious sects, this allowed adherents to enjoy a simple and streamlined worldview; birth, daily life, and death had a well-defined cosmic significance. However, as certain technologies were made possible by scientific advancement, many investigators began to realize that things didn’t add up. Many of their observations contradicted what the religious establishment had been teaching for centuries, and for those who valued honesty more than comfort, life would get tough. In 1609 Galileo Galilei was observing the night sky with his newly-invented telescope and discovered the moons of Jupiter. This discovery contradicted the church’s teaching that celestial bodies revolve around the earth in concentric rings. Galileo’s subsequent investigations resulted his work being destroyed and his being placed on house arrest until the day he died. Because Galileo recanted, his fate was relatively pleasant compared to that of others. The Italian friar Giordano Bruno was less pliable, and burnt at the stake for holding the same view as Galileo some three decades earlier. Bruno was not alone, the polymath Michael Servetus was executed for his discovery that blood from pulmonary circulation flows from the heart to the lungs, rather than
air in the lungs flowing to the heart as the church taught (his execution was instigated and overseen by John Calvin the reformer). These appalling retaliations to ‘facts’ we now take for granted might seem extreme to say the least. Why should it matter if the sun is at the centre of the solar system, or that blood flows from the lungs to the heart and back?! I think this question touches on the nature of scientific discovery in relation to God, and is something I have noticed personally: A ‘God of the Gaps’ becomes decreasingly important to understand the world as science makes the gap smaller. In other words, if we are using God to explain something we don’t understand, God becomes irrelevant once we understand it. The church in the 1500s understood a very real threat: Galileo’s work suggested that the earth was just one of many planets and not the epicentre of cosmic importance. Michael S e r ve t u s
04 demonstrated that God was not literally responsible for providing each human being breath. The gap was closing. Of course, no discussion of religion and science would be complete without Biology because it undermines one of the most deeply cherished pictures of God: that of a literal creator. In the mid 1800s, Darwin and Wallace’s observations sparked one of two revolutions (the other beginning with Gregor Mendel) that would make Biology a science, and anger a lot of theologians. Before the discovery of evolution, Biology was a disordered mess of taxonomy and anatomy devoid of any underlying logic. However, this rational, elegant, and evidence-based explanation of the natural world would come at a cost: special creation. Since speciation could now be explained scientifically, the incredible wealth of species with which we share the world could be traced back to their ancestors in ages past. St. Augustine’s (updated and u n fortu-
nately still popular) assertion that the universe is 5000 years old was first dismantled by the science of geology, and then by astrophysics. Finally, the expeditions to Olduvai by the Leakey family established the birthplace of mankind and evidence for human evolution beyond any reasonable shadow of a doubt. We, although a remarkable species, are another branch on Darwin’s tree. Thus, as science marches forward, humans are capable of explaining the world increasingly well without needing to invoke the supernatural; the gap between what we observe and what we understand is getting smaller. It has been suggested by a certain scientist that “God is the ever-receding pocket of scientific ignorance.” Perhaps then, believing in God is like believing in Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. When the truth hits you, it can be quite traumatic, and the end result is almost always a loss of trust. This fear is perhaps what has motivated our church to firmly root itself in conspiracy theories, and statements like “one day, we will understand,” or, “it takes faith...” This is of course, not a version of faith that seeks truth, but relishes in alternative facts and misrepresentation. It is a version of faith that relies on that shelf of books at Chapters next to the science section that everyone knows is not science at all. At the end of the day, some would prefer to have a simplistic, unfalsifiable worldview than one that values evidence, reproducibility, and authenticity. But this is not how it has to be. I would suggest that Science is only a ‘God killer,’ if you use God to fill gaps. “God is dead” only because “we have killed him.” We are the ones who crush God when we carelessly use him like drywall putty to fill gaps in our understanding. The conclusion seems quite plain to me: if God is to survive as an integrated, living part of our lives, we will need a better definition of what exactly ‘God’ means – a definition that does not require investment in belief systems of the past, or the conspiracy theories of today. Although I am grieved by the direction our church has chosen to take, I have faith that such a process of re-thinking is possible. If not, we might as well start digging the grave. Sincerely, A closeted humanist and a friend.
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Why Christians are Failing at Being Christian D a n i Pa g e
There are a few reasons that Christians are failing at being “Christian.” One of the main ones, that is especially prevalent in Adventism, is that our church has become a church of politics. Not only on an individual scale but also on an institutional one. On an individual level, one can see the constant struggle between “liberals” and “conservatives.” People will completely write off others just because they identify as conservative or liberal, possibly missing out on the great contributions that person could have. People hate on each other just because they identify a certain way. So, how are we supposed to show God’s love to non-Christians if we can’t even show it to each other? We need to be more accepting of each other, even if our opinions clash. If people look at Christianity and see us judging each other and fighting over the meanings of Bible verses, they will want no part of it. As for politics on an institutional scale in the church, there are certainly people using their positions to make very good changes. However, there are still faults within that system. For example, there are those that have the power to make significant (and much needed) changes but won’t do it because they are afraid they won’t be re-elected. This predicament is put best in the words of Philip Yancey, “Politics allure us to trade away grace for power, a temptation that the church has often been unable to refuse.” (1) So, some simple advice to those
that are afraid of not being re-elected, don’t be afraid. No one can guarantee that you’ll be re-elected, but if you make positive changes in the church, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you helped people and made a significant difference. In order to become better at being Christian, we must focus on respecting each other and following Christ’s example, rather than conflicting opinions and the pursuit of power. One other prevalent reason that Christians are failing is that we have plenty of knowledge, yet we lack love. When people look at Christianity, they focus more on our actions than our knowledge. So, what do people see when they look at Christianity? Unfortunately, they often see judgement. Judgement can be seen on a regular basis in the church; people are shamed for dying their hair an unnatural colour, getting tattoos, or wearing an outfit that is not modest enough. People are also judged for things like divorce, abortion, or coming out as gay, when what they really need most during that time is love and support. Christianity is becoming associated with bigotry and close-mindedness because we put so much emphasis on less consequential things and not enough emphasis on significant ones such as “love your neighbour as yourself.” (2) Jesus accepted people regardless of who they were, and we should do the same.
Footnotes (1) “39 Philip Yancey Quotes.” ChristianQuotes.info, 2017, www.christianquotes.info/quotes-by author/philip-yancey-quotes/#axzz4x2EsMw1v. (2) “30 Top Bible Verses About Love - Encouraging Scripture Quotes.” Bible Study Tools, www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/love-bible-verses/.
06 “The most powerful art in life is to make pain a talisman that cures. A butterfly reborn flowered in a party of colors” -Frida Kahlo I cannot even begin to explain the number of times I have been asked this question when I tell people that I’m a Christian. The question is sometimes asked out of curiosity and a genuine desire to obtain an answer that might clear their doubts, other times, it feels more accusatory, as if the person asking were telling me that I’m serving a hypocrite. On no occasion have I been able to answer this question. Many times, the inquiry has hit me by surprise and has left me speechless leaving remainders of doubt in me as well. You may look at the world around you and read the news only to find yet another article about a mass shooting, racist accusations, inequality, violence, etc. It seems to be a never-ending cycle of hatred and misfortune, and of course there’s people wondering why. If God is so powerful, why can’t He just end it all and make the world a better place? While working at camp last summer, I was put in charge of a group of girls who came from pretty rough backgrounds; I sometimes wished they didn’t have to deal with such challenges at their young age. One of them in particular had a journal where she would express her feelings and one day she opened up to me how much she had struggled in the past. I wasn’t shocked to know that this girl didn’t have a strong faith in a God, but behind all the pain and doubt, she was still a young girl with many passions and a burning desire to be happy. Nonetheless, it seemed as if this girl was running out of reasons to keep going and it saddened my heart. So, why did God allow this girl to suffer so much? I believe God wasn’t allowing her to suffer, in fact, many of the things that happened in her life were a result of the bad choices that other people made for her. There was nothing she could have done differently to avoid
that because many of the things she was struggling with in her present life weren’t a result of her own choices. I have come to the understanding that God gave us the ability to make our own decisions. Unfortunately, us humans have abused that privilege and that resulted in the introduction of evil unto the world. I’m certain that God has the power to stop all evil, but a lot of the times this evil was a product of bad choices. Though not always ours, our choices influence and affect each other and our environment; even if we can’t always see it. Even though suffering isn’t good, many good things can come from it. We are able to grow, to become more empathetic, more loving and more understanding. Nobody likes to suffer, but ironically enough, it is through this suffering that we learn the most. I won’t pretend this is the answer to this complex question because there is definitely more to it than just this; I have no explanation as to why famines, orphanage, war, abuse, etc. happen, but I believe that we are meant to help each other no matter what belief system we live by. However, does God allow suffering? Maybe, but not in a way that He just sits there and does nothing. I think that as much evil as there is in the world we still have the ability to be good and loving, and that, to me, is a sign that God is doing something for us. If God is a loving God, then why do bad things happen? They do undoubtedly happen, and will continue to happen, but we are motivated by His love, despite everything, to be good - even though we are the ones who bring about many of the bad things that happen in the world.
If God is good, why do bad things happen? Elisa Vital Jiménez
“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” – 1 Timothy 4:8
Body, Mind, and Soul Elsy Cornejo
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We have been intricately formed and made in the
higher accountability, a sense of belonging, and
eyes of God. God took the time to make every part
motivation for daily activities. Therefore, it seems
of us, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Unfor-
to not only be essential to promote physical health
tunately, due to the corruption of sin we tend to
but also our spiritual health.
forget about God and we become selfish. We have
Feeding ourselves mentally and spiritually is essen-
the natural tendencies to try to cope with stress-
tial for a balanced, healthier life style not only for
ful situations in order to meet our own wants and
the today but also for tomorrow.
needs, however all of our resources tend to be our own and not based on God. Due to our lack of com-
Here are some simple ideas for you to keep active
munication and connection towards God we can
physically and spiritually:
find ourselves overwhelmed by negative emotions or decisions, which can many times lead to detri-
1. Take a walk and read a spiritually lead book.
mental outcomes towards our ourselves, specifically
2. While on the treadmill, bicycle, etc. listen
towards our health. It has been proven that our
to some uplifting spiritual music. This doesn’t
bodies need regular exercise and proper nutrition
necessarily mean hymns; there are several other
in order to stay at our highest functioning level.
spiritual alternatives that can be listened to.
However, many studies have also found a connec-
3. Before going to bed and in the morning say a
tion between health and faith. Do you believe in
prayer (whether it be short or long), keep con-
miracles? Studies have shown that people who have
stant communication with God can help promote
faith seem to have the highest positive health ben-
better sleep and better coping with our daily ac-
efits, protection, coping, and recovery from illness-
tivities.
es. Having faith isn’t only good for our spiritual
4. Stressed or studying? Put some uplifting in-
wellbeing but it can also enhance our daily living
strumental or soft music, it has been shown that
by lowering levels of stress, better coping skills,
listening to spiritual music helps relieve stress
better mental health, greater social support, less
and can help focusing skills.
substance abuse, healthier choices, better sleeping,
09
“By reading narrative, we escape the anxiety that attacks us when we try to say something true about the world. This is the consoling function of narrative — the reason people tell stories, and have told stories from the beginning of time.” – Umberto Eco
Reading the quote (left), one might be inclined to think that Eco is talking about narrative and he certainly is. However, a much larger idea that he refers to is the inexplicability of reality. Science perhaps most concretely helps us to explain phenomena within the natural world, and though it broadens our knowledge of the world in which we live and the bodies which we inhabit, it can do little to explain the more existential questions (these being perhaps the realest questions) which I have found creep into my mind very late at night. They are small, but often painfully bottomless questions that we all wrestle with… or at least probably should. Who am I? What is good? What is the meaning of life? Why is there evil? Pursuing answers to such questions can often lead to very dark lines of thought (or perhaps seemingly so), often culminating in a sort of existential dread. Try it for a few minutes and see if you know what I mean. Eco shrewdly points out that narratives provide an escape from answering such questions. Narratives form an integral part of most world religions and Christianity is no stranger to them. It is founded on its own mythic narrative. ‘Mythic’, in this case does not mean untrue – far from it. If a story is described as a ‘myth’, it insinuates that it exists to explain a “practice, belief, or natural phenomenon” (Merriam-Webster). Nevertheless, Christianity and its beliefs, are rooted in its overarching mythic narrative of good versus evil, God versus Satan – what Adventists call ‘the Great Controversy’. This narrative very easily answers each of the questions we posed above: Q: Who am I? A: I am a child of God. Q: What is good? A: God is good. Q: What is the meaning of life? A: Well, God has a plan for my life. Q: Why is there evil? A: That’s easy! You see, Lucifer had too much pride and…etc. etc.
As you can see, these are easy, recitable answers to extremely difficult questions. Not only do narratives provide us with answers, but they do us one further service: they change. It could be argued that narratives change because they are highly dependent on social circumstance – an aspect of human life which is always in motion. Christianity is continually changing, expanding, or editing its narratives in minute ways, each alteration often met with resistance from select branches of the faith. These changes almost always take place in response to social development or progression. Modern Seventh-day Adventists are discussing, even now, a significant alteration to their narrative, namely, if the church believes the Bible permits the ordination of women as leaders and ministers. While this may seem like a dilemma with only internal repercussions, its origins lie outside of the Adventist bubble and will contribute to the more widespread social movement towards gender equality. Similarly, branches of Christianity have altered their narrative to accommodate scientific theories of natural selection and speciation in what is called theistic evolution. This too is a development that is initiated by social circumstance, specifically, the mainstream shift of popular belief towards evolutionary science and its explanation of the age and progression of life on earth. These are just small examples of how Christian narratives are changing in tandem with social circumstances. A more dramatic example perhaps could be that of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the central figure of the Christian narrative. Christ, in many ways, introduced drastic changes to the narrative of the Jewish faith.
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Is God A Story Still Worth Telling? Anonymous The reason Christians and secular historians alike will acknowledge Christ as a revolutionary figure in history, I would argue, is not necessarily because he was divine, but because he altered the narrative of the Jewish faith in so dramatic a way that it changed the world. Christ knew the narrative of his time. The people of Palestine and Judea were waiting for a messiah and Christ gave them one. He taught that to be saved, one only needed to believe. His was a message designed to reach an oppressed populace (“the meek will inherit the earth”, “it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven”, “blessed are the poor in spirit”). Christ effectively suggested to the people of his time that they no longer needed symbolic rituals to atone for their sins and he introduced them to a God who was always on their side. In effect, Christ gave the answers to the questions which we posed above and in doing so, initiated a striking divergence from the narrative of God which was widely accepted in Palestine at the time. I would suggest that Christ was successful because his new teachings were a response to the social circumstances of the people with whom he shared. But what does this idea of changing narratives mean for us now? We’ve briefly explored some ways the Christian narrative is changing presently, but I would argue that these changes and the gradual stagnation of Christianity we are seeing today might be an indication of a much larger narrative change on the horizon. Our social circumstances are changing and if the narrative of God is to continue to exist in the mainstream in the coming decades, it must change too. We
must begin to reassess it – and in doing so we must be ruthless. We must indeed put God on trial if the narrative is to remain valuable and prudent in a global, technological, and ever-advancing community. In the same way Christ, through his teachings, wrote a new narrative of God, we must as well. So what does that narrative look like? I will ask the question again, but I might pose a suggestion to stir your thoughts. Society is leaning more towards humanist sentiments of human agency and value and the belief that we can find meaning, fulfillment, and truth within ourselves. I will be transparent and say that I agree with these suggestions. But if we agree that social circumstance informs narrative, then… Is it time for stories about God to become stories about ourselves?
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poetry
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questioning god Jasmine Pickett
What is the difference between doubting God and questioning God? Doubting God involves having a belief in God in the first place. Questioning God is to question if he exists. I’ve had my share of both. Who is God? Why did he create us? Why does the Bible say that he wants us to be happy when there’s so much suffering here? Is He really love? Does he care about the small things? Does he want us to follow Him or does he even care if we do or not? Doubting means you’ve already decided that he really does exist. It’s not hard to doubt, because doubting is something that comes naturally. Doubting is: Safe. Safe? How can doubting be safe? If you believe He exists, why are you doubting Him? Isn’t your relationship with Him supposed to be based on trust? Okay but what is questioning God then? Questioning God is asking if he exists. Is there a God? If there is, what has He been doing for all of these years? What are the capabilities of this God? How much does he care about us, the human race? Does he want anything to do with us? When you doubt someone, you doubt who they are. When you question someone, you question if they ever were. Doubting and questioning Him are things that are normal. . . And yet? People yell and Scream And fight And say that it isn’t right but honestly What is light without the comparison of dark? We like to pretend that we all follow the rules and that we all trust that God is there or isn’t. We like to pretend that everything is all black or all white. But what happens when the two mix? What happens to the people that live in between? Do they become outcasts because they questioned God, doubted Him?
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a different take Kira Bruggemann
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.� - John 3:16
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You-soever Believes This is one of the most well-known verses in the Bible. One of the first you probably memorized as a child. you’ve recited it a million times, said it for scripture reading, read devotionals about it, heard sermons on it. This verse has become an integral part of the Christian life… But what does it mean to you personally? Maybe you know, maybe you don’t. Maybe you used to know, and now you’re not so sure. With the people I’ve met, there are usually two general responses/opinions to this verse. The first group of people hold it as their doctrine. This is their favourite verse, the standard, the verse that sums up the plan of the world and what it means to be a Christian. They read it in morning when they wake up and at night before they fall asleep. And if you take a look at their cell phone you’ll see these words gazing up at you as their wallpaper. With the second group, this verse is like a song on the radio. Over-played, over-listened to, over-spoken of, and they’re just so over it. There are so many other great verses in the Bible, why not pick another one for a change, something more original? Of course, the old “3’16” is to be appreciated, but it’s not the only important thing, right? I usually fall closer to this second category, or at least I used to. I think it’s a great verse, a fantastic verse, a necessary verse. But when I’m called to say my favourite bible verse, this is not the one I choose. Why you may ask? Because I like to think of a favourite verse as one that represents someone’s personal life story. And while I believe that John 3:16 should represent all of humanity... that’s just it, it’s for everyone. It’s not unique, and isn’t it a bit selfish to claim this promise for all humanity as “yours”? This is what went through my 12-year-old head when I was asked to write a report (for pathfinders of course) on how John 3:16 applied to me personally. And I wasn’t even sure if I should be thinking
those doubts at all. “Like, pause, let me not disrespect the Bible.” So what does this have to do with faith? Well this verse is all about faith. Faith that God really means what He says, faith that His promise will hold through. And the most practical faith, actually believing in what Jesus did. But before you can can get started on these faiths, you have to know how it applies to your life. So, great. We’re back at square one. Something that I’ve found helpful is to not so much focus on how it applies to my life, but rather the first step is to focus on that it applies to my life, and my life individually. That’s right, the prodigal pathfinder actually does believe that this verse has meaning to her life. Not on her own accord though, I had help. “Insert yourself into the equation” said my beloved teacher to whom I owe many a spiritual breakthrough. So, let’s do that. Try saying “For God so loved me that He gave His only son for me, that if I believe in Him I will not perish but have eternal life.” Is it different now? Yes? No? I hope this helped put a different perspective on it. But if it didn’t, don’t worry. No seriously, don’t worry. Everyone goes through periods of doubt in their life, I certainly have and I’m in one right now to be honest. In fact, I’m not sure if there has ever been anyone who isn’t constantly going through some sort of doubt about something. I’m not going to tell you it gets easier, because I don’t think I’m the one to do that. But I will tell you to not be afraid of doubting and questioning. That’s healthy and it means you care enough to not just blindly accept what you’ve been told. It helps you grow as a person, and when you finally figure out the answer (if you ever do), it will strengthen your relationship with God. And of that I can be sure.
story time
Hope in times
of uncertainty I It was a beautiful day. Through the window of my room, I contemplated the dispute between the dawn of a new day and the darkness of a night of joy. The birds started singing their morning melody. The sky changed its color to a navy blue, and a soft and fresh breeze covered the atmosphere. Everything was perfect on that Sunday, the 16th of July. The boys had spent all night telling their most intimate secrets along with playing table games. The adventure began with our awakening in a cozy house in the small town of Innisfil. Located on the western shore of Lake Simcoe in Ontario. Some of the travelers of this adventure were born in the famous city of Toronto; meaning "where there are trees standing in the water." It is ironic to think that these travelers would start this anecdote on the water. Everyone voted for breakfast at Tim Hortons, a coffee shop that is the patriotic symbol of Canadian culture. While we were putting all the Kayaks in the trunk, a crow perched on the window of the house. In a Hispanic country this animal represents bad luck. Maybe it was a herald, that was warning us of a tragedy nearby. II Once we finished loading, we undertook our adventure to our first stop, Tim Hortons. Among laughter and chats, we heard the broadcaster announcing on the radio that a storm was brewing. Ignoring the warning, we changed the station. After 5 minutes, we arrived at our first destination, the sky appeared to have darken, but that could not stop us from continuing with our adventure. Everyone ordered a double-double and wraps. After we finished eating, the fourth warning made its appearance. While we were heading out to the vehicles, light drops directed by the morning breeze fell gently on our faces tanned by the summer sun. We all exclaimed in one voice, "Nah, this is nothing!" There is a saying in South America that goes "full belly, happy heart," the spirit of adventure had motivated us. We all had different backgrounds, the only thing that united us was that adventurous spirit. Even with the weather against us, we revved up the engines and started our journey to Lake Simcoe. During the trip, dark clouds were accumulating behind the horizon, as the gales were held back. Suddenly rain began to fall at ground level reaching the small town. Without warning the winds stopped blowing, and the raindrops widened. I could clearly hear its rhythmic pounding against the windshield. However, I perceived a strange distancing from reality. It was as if I was in an already perceived world in which I had been thrown into astonished. I was discovering the things populating it; the wooden houses, the trees, the cars, the avenues... Everything surprises me with its presence, and that familiar smell. The smell of wet earth. For a moment I thought about my country, my homeland, and my culture. Who knows if the place I have been thrown into is a world of legends. Fascinated, I watched the scribbles drawn by the rain pushed by the wind. Everything fits in the limitless capacity of evocation of the capricious drops! Our thirst for an adventure was growing with each falling drop. The downpour that seemed endless comes to an abrupt end with our trajectory to the lake. The dark clouds dissipate in the firmament; the sun
makes its appearance giving the wilderness a touch of freshness. We all jump out of the truck. Smiles of victory were on our faces, possibly like Alexander the Great in each of his conquests. III Suddenly we saw two young people climbing the hill leading to the parking lot, both carrying their kayaks. With a sarcastic tone, I asked them, "Are you guys leaving? Why? The party has not started yet.� To which they responded with a calm tone, "It's going to get worse, this is just a break." They placed their kayaks in the back of their truck, and diligently pulled away. We started wearing the lifejackets and taking the kayaks out of the trunk. Once the unloading was done, we ran to the shore. Abruptly, the morning was clearing, and the presence of the sun became more intense on the aquatic vista. We let the kayaks float on the waters recently beaten by the impotent rain. One of us tried to get on the smaller kayak, but it sank. He was too heavy, to kayak with it. Among us there was a Portuguese man. He had more Latin spirit than a Westerner and his love for adventure in nature were reflected in his pupils. But that was not his only quality, he had a great talent for haggling things. A kayak was missing and we could not leave our friend on the border of this experience. In the middle of the suspense the Portuguese man exclaimed: "I'm going to go buy a Kayak right now." When I heard those words coming out of his mouth, the first thing that came to my mind was "hmmm he is going to haggle," but I did not make a comment. With smiles still on our faces we accept the proposal. He went into the truck and like the townspeople, he disappeared at the corner where the trail ended. Looking up to the other side of the lake, the mist was slowly dissipating like a curtain in a theater hall, letting the audience know that the show is about to begin. That dense wet concentration, caused by the atmospheric "thermal inversion," stickily covered everything that was on the other side of the lake. The distance between travelers and the island became closer, creating in us a curious sense of unreality. Confusion makes us free; free from a noisy world, free from the chaos of highway 401 in the mornings, free from the same routine that leads us to lose the meaning of life itself. These moments do not happen all the time, where the melody of nature gently accompanies the function that it is going to present. It seemed like a lonely island, but intriguing; maybe it was not the luxurious houses but the tranquility it projected from a distance. One hour passed and the Portuguese had not returned yet, we
22 Max Fer nandez Davila
all knew that he was convincing the salesman on duty to lower the price of the kayak. The curiosity to know what was on the other side of the lake, fed our spirit of adventure. Maybe the island represented our failed dreams, or perhaps the desire to break the chains that bound us to an urban life. Impatient at the Portuguese man not arriving, one of us proposed to undertake the trip without him with the excuse that he could reach us once he arrived. IV We all ran to the water to take a kayak. We started the competition, by then the sun shone in its greatest expression. We quickly moved away from the shore. I led the group. Adrenaline and excitement ran through my body. I felt like a child running through a field of candy. The wind made the task easy. Suddenly, the crossing turned into a melody, the paddle hitting the water, the sound of the wind, the waves hitting the kayak. I had not heard that melody for a long time, not since I arrived in this country. For a long time, the memories of my childhood returned, the forest, the chickens of my grandmother, the song of the rooster that was answered at intervals by all the animals of the hacienda*. I recognize the marks of my culture in certain elements, the lonely island, the sound of the wind and the encounter with the wilderness, this recognition soon became nostalgia. While enjoying the euphoria of the moment, I turned to see how far we were from the shore. The lake was furious, and it was hitting my kayak with great waves, barely illuminated by the flash of that lightning escaping from the sky. My friend clung tightly to the side of my kayak, but he knew that nothing could be done and that ultimately nothing would prevent him drowning in those cold waters. I thought about my mother, my country and in all the plans that I have not realized. The idea of dying in a distant country took possession of me. Suddenly I remembered God, and the multiple promises I had made to him. I looked up at the sky, and from the deepest part of my heart, I screamed: - “Lord, my God, help me, please!” But the roar of the waves, the intense rain, and the intensity of the winds threatened to sink the small boat that did not stop swinging. - “Lord, if you get us out of here I will dedicate my life to your ministry, help us, please!” I again implored with anguish. Unexpectedly the view turned cloudy, two of my friends were in trouble. Their double kayak had flipped in the middle of the lake. I could see in their expression how panic had taken possession of them. "They are drowning," I shouted. The rest of the
team had been carried away by the emotion of the waves that we had not heard our friends pleading for help. We returned to them to turn over the kayak. One at each end, we counted "one, two, three". At the same time, we tried to turn it over, but it was impossible. We tried to calm them down, one of them held onto my kayak while we tried to complete the task. The discouragement began to invade us and the waves took us with them. We were already so close to conquering our dream. We calculated that in 10 minutes we would be on the island. We tried to row with them holding on to the back of the kayaks, but it was impossible to move forward. The only way out of that situation was to ask for help. One of us decided to row the remaining distance to get to the island and ask for help. While this brave traveler rowed as hard as he could to get to the other side, we were about to be carried away by the wind and waves. Panic invaded each one of us, and like a play by Shakespeare, tragedy announced his entry into the distance. V Dark clouds were forming behind the horizon, I strained to see the shore, looking for a soul willing to help us. I recognized the torrent wall of water impeding my eyes to see the things that make the landscape easy to focus on. My eyes became increasingly cloudy. I did not know if it was because of the rain or the tears. The downpour seemed like it was never going to end. The dense clouds had transformed the wilderness into a diffuse canvas background for the raindrops; an unexpected metaphor for one's existence. Being shipwrecked implies survival in terms of a precarious and additional state of life. Each of the fragments of the catastrophe cannot be expelled from itself. That radical overturn that occurs when life ceases, and Death becomes the one reigning. Every survivor is obliged to live an upside-down life, a prolongation of a non- time, a permanence in which life and death, paradoxically, hold hands. Immediately, I looked up and saw a boat coming towards us. I started waving the paddle and whistling. However, the captain rescued the over turned kayak closer to the island. While this transpired, we were dragged by the waves into the torrent of rain and things began getting worse; water now started coming into my kayak, panic took possession of both of us. But soon, the boat returned and rescued our panicked souls. On the way back home, silence flooded the atmosphere. We had all been exposed to the same experience, but each one of us had transcended to different points of view. While driving, the promise I had made rumbled in my ears, “Lord, if you get us out of here I will dedicate my life to your ministry, help us, please!”. Nobody talked about what happened that afternoon. All of us without realizing it returned to our ordinary world empowered by renewed purpose, and an expanded world perspective. I learned that there is always a chance to travel. I am challenged to find those moments where sometimes we deviate from our material world to immerse ourselves in an unpredictable and impetuous world. Perhaps here, is where we find we are full of joy or possibly knowing that nothing is written yet.
24
The different colors of Faith
who is Rasterfarian believes that organic vegetables and a healthy diet is important for being a man of God. He
Z o r i s h a Pe t e r s
grows all of his own food, makes his own coconut oil and is almost completely reliant on his own garden for every aspect of his life. He burns incense as he prays because he believes that it carries his prayers and brings him better fortune throughout the day. My mother whole
Faith has always been a tricky ordeal for me growing up. I may have grown up Adventist but there were a vast majority of my family who were not. It was confusing to see all the different point of views in reference to my own. Did my faith mean that my friends and family were wrong in theirs? I wouldn't want someone to talk me out of my own beliefs, does allowing the same in return go against evangelism? By respecting another's
heartedly believes in paying tithe, no matter how little we had to spare over the years she always ensured her 10% to God, holding steadfast to the promise that God would take care of all our needs. Walking through this world there is a vast array of colors and stories that are being emitted to us. Every person taking in information to display show acts of faith proudly and strongly. It almost seems so fitting that God's promise to Noah was
beliefs does it admit a flaw in my own?
a rainbow. This world is filled with unique and beauti-
Now that I am older I see now that Faith has a lot in
from the Shinto practice of taking care of ancestors by
common with colors. Faith is described to be complete trust in someone or something, a strong belief in an idea or ideology without facts or evidence. The colors we see are not the true color of an object, but instead the color that is reflected back to us from the object itself, in essence, what the object emits completely defines how we see it. Though many of my friends were Christian, we took in the same holy book as the bible and emitted different lights, different point of views that we displayed to the world. Some Spiritual Baptists believe that the color of our outfit that we wear as we enter the holy church matters in the type of energy that we want to attract. In the presence of God, wearing white is important and covering your head to shield yourself from negative energy. I have some family members who do not leave the house without covering their heads and in that way they are showing their faith. My uncle
ful people, all displaying their faith in their own way, praying for their souls and leaving offerings after death, to the Egyptian mummification process that left the evidence of their faith thousands of years later for the world to see. They believed mummification preserved their bodies for the afterlife, that the beautiful tombs and gifts would sustained their past loved ones for journey to the grave. In my eyes, faith is less about focusing what is right or wrong about it and more about enjoying the spectrum of color around you. As long as someone's beliefs doesn't hurt or persecute others it shines brightly in this world. Everyone's experiences, heritage and beliefs. They color our world and bring life to it, from the woman picks up a four leaf clover believing in luck, to the souls who are saved in baptism every week. God asks us all to have faith. Watch and enjoy the different forms it may take, some people may change colors right before your very eyes.
a question
I would never dream of asking, “Does God exist?” because the asking of such a question consolidates God on a level so that the question itself becomes meaningless. So, what is a better question to ask? Religion is a powerful tool to unite people, but does the possibility exist that in this uniting force we punish it’s opposite? Fundamentally, the church works best when everyone within its paradigm subscribes to the idea that the preservation of the community is of ultimate importance. Morality judged through this lens will categorize anything maintaining a society of sameness as “good.” However, with the Western God, came Duality, so then the community MUST perceive anything dissenting as “evil.” Enterprise, daring, confidence, indomitable will, and limitless ambition? These traits are what is needed to make a dream reality. These traits are found in the visionaries that want to become their best selves. These traits are found in those who want to change the world around us in such profound ways that the aftershocks of their vision will echo through eternity. These traits are treated throughout the whole of Western Christian thought with utter contempt. Well, perhaps I shouldn’t be so quick to say that. I can think of a situation in which such traits are tolerated. First, we must treat our gifts as something that must first be approved by another before we can rejoice in it. It is not enough to just have talents: we first need permission. Once we have been obliged in this, we are still condemned UNLESS we debase our own achievements, our struggles, everything we’ve earned – – because all glory be unto God? I briefly touched on the Godly perspective on a strong, unapologet-
ic will earlier. I would be remiss if I neglected to mention another aspect of the Western God that has a powerful effect on our collective consciousness. Related to human will is the idea that God is wholly in control of every aspect of our lives. This can certainly grant peace and security to someone – but peace and security often breed complacency. One of the most troubling issues confronting Christianity is that they have been (often rightly) accused of taking a passive role in addressing the suffering of this world. They abdicate responsibility to an all-powerful God, saying that it is all in the ultimate plan of God that these things are happening, so as an individual, they are allowed to stand idly by and do nothing. The suffering of another no longer has to sting as harshly when you can tell them that God will ultimately grant them peace (a statement usually made from the safety of an ivory tower, I might add. For how much more comfortable is it to preach God’s generosity from a perspective of plenty?). And yet suffering continues to exist. And it will continue to, especially when we allow it. And I know what one might say to this: “Well don’t be too idealistic. Suffering will never cease as long as Satan has his way on this earth!” Perhaps. I just figured it would break our hearts more, is all. The second but no less troubling umbrella of issues that arise with our God is that of passivity about self-actualization for its adherents – self-actualization being the realization or fulfillment of one's talents and potentialities. In another display of shirking responsibility, many believers fall prey to one of the most heinous wrongs a person can inflict
26
worth asking Anonymous
upon themselves: the choice to not choose to attain meaningful goals and ultimately achieve self-actualization. Imagine with me, if you will: an individual is faced with a decision. The choice is one that requires intensive deliberation. But the idea of taking total responsibility for one’s direction in life is too cumbersome a burden to bear. They are afraid to take responsibility for their actions. So they defer their “choice” to “God’s will,” and remove themselves as the responsible entity in the equation. This grants them a strange sort of peace – knowing that while at the moment they are left unfulfilled, they cling to the dream that God has a plan in which they will be led along by a string unto their ultimate purpose. And so they wait. Such people die accomplishing very little if even that. But at the end of their life, at least they can safely assume that it was God’s vision that they accomplish none of their dreams. Worse yet are the cowards who haven’t the courage to make the choice they know will be viewed with disappointment and disdain; so they delude themselves into saying that their decision has become the calling of God. For who would dare argue with God? With God came disparity. For as soon as we became aware of God, we became aware of the vast difference between us as humans and them as divine. But instead of acknowledging the two groups as merely different; we decided that one of us had to be wicked, evil, and innately imperfect.
And so came this belief that humanity is intrinsically evil. “Born into sin,” is a phrase I hear a lot. So our purpose became clear: throw off the shackles of “humanity” and by living the lifestyle ordained by the religious West, become more like Christ (but not too much now, lest you risk blasphemy). And so for generation after generation, we are taught that our own humanity – our very existence – is to be shunned and sloughed off like a decaying shell, revealing the worthy Christ-like entity underneath. It’s important to emphasize that this narrative must be taught to us because, let me ask you a question, dear reader: when did you ever, as a young child, have the epiphany that your very existence was evil? Until told otherwise, did you ever consider yourself to be an innately wicked being? I know I never did until someone told me so. I never really asked why. And so we spend so much of our life trying to escape the reality of our birth. The church considers “Humanism” a dirty word: yet humanity is the only thing we can ever truly know. Would God really want us to hate ourselves this much? I’ve asked numerous questions throughout this essay. But I think the BIG question still needs to be asked: At this juncture, it seems to me that rather than endlessly debate the existence of God, we need to take a long, hard look at all the things our belief in God has done to this world and its people. If you have the courage, I would now ask you to take off your rose-tinted glasses and ask yourself: “Should God exist?”
And it sure wasn’t going to be God, right?
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