The HIgh Road | Guam's Guide to Elevating Your Life | February. 2011

www.highroadmagazine.com

THE LOVE AND ROMANCE ISSUE

FEBRUARY 2011 — GUAM’S GUIDE TO ELEVATING YOUR LIFE | LIVING | FITNESS | STYLE | TECH | STRONGER MIND + BODY

VOL. 2, Issue 3

publisher's post | 2.11 Publisher Norman Analista

By Norman Analista

Couples Can Conquer Communication Barriers Men and women exhibit fundamental differences in the way they communicate with each other, and being cognizant of these variations can help douse the flame in any heated argument.

When my wife and I first started dating over a decade ago, I was pursuing a communications degree at the University of Guam. One of our suggest-

ways.

For example, when I asked my wife to meet me at a certain time, she’d arrive five to 15 minutes late. When she had a problem and I tried to help her, she wouldn’t appreciate my advice.

And when I asked for a specific decision, I would get a variety of responses except for one, leading me to generalize that women can be indecisive.

These actions annoyed me. Upon reading the book by Dr. Gray, however, I became aware that men communicate literally, saying what they mean, while women often generalize. My idea of meeting her at 7 a.m. is equivalent to her idea of anywhere between 7 a.m. and 7:15 a.m. She wouldn’t be there at seven sharp, unless I was explicit about it.

ed readings was a book called “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” By John Gray, Ph.D. The book’s premise was that men and women communicate differently with each other. What one gender says to the opposite gender can be interpreted in a multitude of

I further learned that when a woman is upset, she just wants to be heard, offered companionship, and provided with validation for her feelings - not advice. And, this perception of indecisiveness was not necessarily a bad thing. Actually, thinking out loud, which many women often do, is their

definition: the high road also high·road n. The most positive, diplomatic, or ethical course.

way of weighing out a problem so they don’t rush through decisions.

Editor & DESIGNER Carlo Cariño Writers Maresa Aguon Hernalin Analista Leo Babauta Kat Barnett Dave Currie, Ph. D. Jill Espiritu Sean Fitzsimmons, M.D. Peter Lombard, M.D. Steve Oshiro Suzanne Perez MaryAnn Pangelinan Dave Ramsey

We all know women aren’t literally from Venus, although the things they do seem alien to many men. But, I’m also glad they’re so different, and that’s what attracts us to them. Even after 13 years of marriage, I still discover and appreciate new things about my wife. And, despite our differences in communication and the occasional argument - she’s still the most beautiful person to me, and she’s my best friend.

Photography Eugene C. Herrera

In closing, I hope you enjoy our latest issue. In it you’ll find advice on how to strengthen your relationships through a variety of approaches, like working out together or simply going on regular dates. You just can’t go wrong if you truly make the effort to keep that romantic spark glowing – and not just for Valentine’s Day, but everyday.

THE HIGH ROAD Vol. 2 No. 3 is published 12 times per year (monthly) by Triple J Creative Services, 157 South Marine Corps Drive Tamuning, Guam 96913; (671) 646-9126. Copyright 2010

by Triple J Creative Services. All rights reserved. The reporting in THE HIGH ROAD is meant to increase your knowledge in various areas of life and wellbeing. Because everyone is different, the ideas expressed and research shared cannot be used to diagnose or treat individual health or other problems. Seek professional help. The views expressed in this publication are the views of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of Triple J Creative Services, its staff, management or its Board of Directors. Triple J Creative Services makes no representation concerning and does not guarantee the source, originality, accuracy, completeness or reliability of any statement, information, data, finding, interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented.

Thanks for taking The High Road! See you next month!

Sincerely,

ADVERTISING SALES Greg Esplana Published by Triple J Creative Services For advertising Inquiries contact: Tel: 648-6081 Fax: 649-3679 ads@highroadmagazine.com

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FEBRUARY 2011 TABLE OF CONTENTS 4 | Rides: The 2011 Acura TSX 6 | Relationships: What is Romance?

8 | Community Pulse 10 | Ask Dave: Financial advice from Dave Ramsey 13 | Fitness: A Couples Workout 16 | Parenting: A Dad's Valentine's Duties 17 | How-To: Create a Custom Bouquet

22 | Good Works: The American Cancer Society 24 | Social Studies: Residents Talk Love and Romance

36 26

26 | Style: Wear is the Love?

32 | Smart Money: My Broke Valentine 34 | See Clearly: Protecting Your Eyes 36 | Dining Out: Al Dente 38 | Find the Right Fragrance

18 | Inspiration: A Love Story

39 | Ask the Bone Dr: Preventing Osteoporosis

20 | Live Easy: Big Romance on a Small Budget

40 | Editor’s Note: Asking for Help

FEBRUARY 2011 — GUAM’S GUIDE TO ELEVATING YOUR LIFE | LIVING | FITNESS | STYLE | TECH | STRONGER MIND + BODY

VOL. 2, Issue 3

www.highroadmagazine.com

THE LOVE AND ROMANCE ISSUE

Lieutenant Colonel Nick and Captain Marleen Legaspi of the Guam Army National Guard share their love story in our February issue.

The couple will be celebrating their 19th wedding anniversary this June. They reside in Mangilao.

Also on the cover is the 2011 Acura TL.

13

17

rides | 2.11

4 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

you'll never regret | 2.11

WHAT IS ROMANCE? Advice for the romantically challenged among us

There are few things in life that compare with being “in love."

Occupying the center of another person’s universe is an emotional ecstasy as addictive as any drug. It’s simply amazing to be wanted, pursued and valued. That wonderful feeling is innate to all of us.

Once we have experienced this healthy sense of loving and being loved, we long for it. We learn all we can about love. Innocently, we begin to play the romance game with notes, gifts, flowers and more. We learn to turn on the charm when we want to impress someone. We put our best foot forward on every date. We give gestures of affection and lots of attention. And...it works.

But when romance starts to feel like a game, it puts a bad taste in people’s mouths. Too

mance is both fleeting and defeating. It is the stuff upon which flings and one-night stands are made of but not a lasting marriage. Forming a relationship around a passing, insincere attraction doesn’t create lasting loving bonds. So should romance be abandoned? Hold on.

It’s true that the euphoria of being “in love” with its huge doses of romance can be an infatuation that is short-lived. Once the ideal catch is landed, the pursuit is often over. No more bait is

Can we still learn to do romance right?

I think so.

To me, romance is the expression of tender emotions and thoughtful gestures of devotion. often, one’s charm is deceitful. It can be doing what you do to get what you want. That, of course, is manipulation. If romance is like bait in sport fishing, we swim away to avoid being reeled in as someone’s trophy catch. We want to be loved for who we are.

This kind of self-centered ro-

6 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

needed. Romantic actions fade and soon the romance dies. Relational research shows that the rush of emotional adrenaline – the romantic “in love” feeling – lasts an average of 18 months into the marriage. What then?

Do we trust the wisdom of romance in marriage? Is it valid or

dangerous? I’m going to argue that romance is measured primarily by its motives. Healthy romance is about the other person first and foremost. It is giving. Unhealthy romance is about me – now and forever. It is taking.

Naturally, we long to be loved in return for our romantic pursuit.

But healthy romance is an un-

adulterated gesture of loving the person for who they are and not what we get in return. Real love is about volition, not coercion. Authentic romance reflects this.

But what about for those people who are romantically challenged?

Can we still learn to do romance right? I think so. First, let’s make

Send your questions to Dr. Dave at drdave@doingfamilyright.com or visit his website www.doingfamilyright.com for tons of great relational help. Get Dr. Dave’s daily marriage and family tips by following him on Twitter - www.twitter.com/doingfmilyright

sure we are on the same page. To me, romance is the expression of tender emotions and thoughtful gestures of devotion. It is the intentional and intense adventure that confirms attraction and creates attachment. To master this art for those who are romantically challenged, we would be wise to focus on the following principles

Romance is ESSENTIAL It keeps your love alive. Special treatment of your spouse is what drew you together. Don’t make assumptions. The deterioration of a relationship begins when you start taking your partner for granted.

Ongoing affirmation of love creates a security and a closeness that make for a good marriage.

Keep pampering, talking, flirting, and engaging as friends and lovers.

Romance is EFFORT Make no mistake. Romance is work but it has its rewards. It involves making intentional and consistent attempts to express your devotion. To romance well, you go out of your way to show kindness and even practical help.

Send her away while you watch the kids. Wash his car. Write a note. You simply must go out of your way to express love.

Romance is EXCLUSIVE The heart of romance is the unique focus on one person above all others. If you are showing affection to many you are not romantic, you are a flirt and a cavalier.

Real love is single-minded. There are no rivals. The ring on the finger says so. You think about them when not with them scheming about your next romantic expres-

sion that will confirm your loyalty.

Romance is EXTRAVAGANT The trivial can become significant. Little details matter. Time in travel doesn’t matter. Denying yourself is normal. Saving extra to lavish a big surprise is common.

Healthy romance is impractical, over the top and yet perfect because you know your spouse so well. You write a song or plan an evening. You surprise them with a getaway overnight. You lavish your beloved even if it seems crazy to others.

Romance is ENTICING It keeps your spouse coming back to you. Romance is attractive. To feel wanted, appreciated and exclusive is what we all crave.

The draw of attention and affection will keep your marriage strong to last long. You’ll never regret any efforts you make towards romancing your partner.

Romance is ENDANGERED You may say, “I’m not romantic."

I challenge you that lack of romantic intention is both careless and dangerous neglect. Love always takes an effort. Turn this trend on romanceless relationships around by first refocusing your own commitment to love in details. Then, model a crazy, engaging romantic kind of love in front of your kids and your friendship network.

You’ll never regret putting your marital romance first. Psssst...by the way, use Valentine’s Day to romance well this year. ■

If you have a positive photo of community interest, send it to community@highroadmagazine.com and we might include it in a future issue of The High Road.

In memory of Jesus S. Leon Guerrero and Anthony A. Leon Guerrero, the Bank of Guam contributed $10,000 to the Guam Memorial Hospital Volunteer Association to name a room in their honor. In the photo: Lou Lujan, GMHVA Finance Chairperson, Lina McDonald, Manager, GMHVA Gift Shop, Lulu Duenas, GMHVA President, Jackie Marati, Bank of Guam Senior Vice President/Marketing Administrator, Dorothy Borlas, GMHVA Past President, Wayne Santos, Bank of Guam Vice President/Marketing Manager. Missing from the Photo: Christine Calvo, Chair, Fundraising, Joyce Crisostomo, Vice Chair, Fundraising Citi announced the launch of two new services in Guam: wealth management, offering “Citigold” and cash management service, “Global Transaction Services” (GTS). The launch of the two new services coincided with the unveiling of Citibank’s rebranded and newly renovated branch in Hagatna. At the ceremony to mark the opening are Malou Leon Guererro, Citibank Mortgage Product Manager; Dina Jacob; Marilou Lacson; Sylvia Flores; former First Lady and current GVB Deputy General Manager, Joann Camacho.

Okkodo High School’s DECA chapter took top honors on January 27, at the 2011 Guam DECA Quiz Bowl and Leadership Conference. They were among nearly 170 students enrolled in the GCC Secondary CTE Marketing program in Guam’s five public high schools that gathered for the conference in the GCC Multipurpose Auditorium. Students competed in the marketing Quiz Bowl, and then attended various conference leadership sessions. DECA is an international association of marketing students that prepares emerging leaders and entrepreneurs in marketing, finance, hospitality and management in high schools and colleges around the globe.

Okkodo High School DECA chapter members, l to r, Aliandra Susuico, Rheeza-lynn Garcia, Kimberly Chargualaf, and Yukari Buccat rush to press their answer buttons. Present at the table earlier was Maria Raposa.

Penk Ching, master cake maker and decorator demonstrates how to make a bunny out of fondant. Ching’s notable creations include the inaugural cake of Philippine president Noynoy Aquino, and the bird’s nest cake for the Beijing Olympics. Ching was on island to promote the launch of Citibank’s new Citigold program as well as to provide culinary instruction for students.

finances | 2.11

SECRET SAVINGS AND SPOUSAL SUPPORT Dear Dave, I don’t hide debt from my spouse, but I do hide money from her. I’ve been squirreling away money for emergencies without her knowledge. She’s not terrible with money, but she always finds something to spend it on. We were never able to save anything before I started doing this. After hearing you talk about “financial infidelity,” I began to worry about her reaction when she finds out I’ve been doing this. What’s your advice? — Paul

you also need to explain that the reason you hid the money was you were afraid to speak up and disagree. Ask for her forgiveness, and let her know you’re committed to never letting it happen again.

At the same time, you’ve got to grow a backbone so you can let her know when you’ve got a problem. Managing money in a marriage is a “we” thing. Decisions should always be made together. It means you each

"I talk all the time about saving up three to six months of expenses. But deception is never a positive thing in a relationship. You’ve got to man up and tell her."

Dear Paul, I think you have every reason to worry. Not just about her reaction, but what this represents in your marriage. I believe in saving up for emergencies.

I mean, I’m Mr. Emergency Fund. I talk all the time about saving up three to six months of expenses. But deception is never a positive thing in a relationship. You’ve got to man up and tell her.

I know this won’t be easy, and you have to make sure you tell her in the right way. Don’t try to blame this on her. Basically, you’ve deceived her about this, and your lying isn’t her fault. Let her know that you’re sorry for not being honest with her, but

10 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

have a vote, but it also means you have to stand up and vote no if she wants to spend money on something silly when you guys haven’t taken care of business! — Dave ............................................

Dear Dave, We had just started your plan and saved $1,000 for our baby emergency fund when our laptop computer died. We do all of our finances online, including budgeting and banking. Should we dip into the emergency fund to replace the computer? — Erin

Dear ERIN, Yes, I think you should. Com-

puters used to be considered a luxury, but today many people find themselves in your exact situation. They use computers not as toys or just to surf the web, but to help run their households and organize their lives and finances on a daily basis.

Now, upgrading at this point to the biggest, baddest, coolest thing on the planet is a no-no.

That kind of thing is what we call a “want.” There’s a difference between a “want” and a “need.” So, you need stay calm and go find a good basic computer that will take care of your online needs.

Trust me, you can get a good new laptop for about $300.

That way, you can take care of your computing while only putting a small, temporary dent in your emergency fund! — Dave. ............................................

Dear Dave, I’m 36, and I’ve been placed on permanent disability due to primary progressive multiple sclerosis. Is there a possibility I could petition to have my student loans forgiven? Do you believe this is an issue of conscience? — Janelle

Dear Janelle, No, I don’t think it’s an issue of conscience. If you’ve been officially and medically diagnosed with this disease, and you’ve also been declared permanently disabled, then federally insured student loans can, and should, be forgiven.

I’ll tell you ahead of time that it’s going to take a lot of work— regardless of the reason—to get a request like this through the system. You’ll be swimming in red tape for a while, but having the loans forgiven is only fair

considering your condition and situation.

God bless you, Janelle. — Dave ............................................

Dear Dave, We recently saw a copy of our credit report, and one debt we had was listed as “charged off as bad debt.” What does this mean? — Sheila

Dear SHEILA, Simply put, it means you didn’t pay them. You had a debt you never paid, so the creditor never got their money, and they wrote you off as a deadbeat.

I’m being facetious, of course, but in credit terms that’s pretty much what it means.

If you want to get that cleaned up, you’ll have to go to the creditor and make arrangements to settle the debt with them. Once you do that, it will read “bad debt settled.” It’s still not an ideal situation, but it’s much better than having “charged off as bad debt” stuck on your credit report.

Remember, you always settle a bad debt in writing. Never give a creditor or collections company electronic access to your checking account, because lots of them will steal from you.

I’ve seen plenty of cases where there was no written agreement, and a collector took out more than they said they would.

Then, somebody’s house payment bounced! — Dave ■ Dave Ramsey is a personal money management expert, popular national radio personality and the author of three New York Times best sellers – The Total Money Makeover, Financial Peace Revisited and More Than Enough. In them, Ramsey exemplifies his life’s work of teaching others how to be financially responsible. For more information visit www.daveramsey.com.

Guam Community College Presents...

Open Campus Day 2011 Sustaining Guam’s Workforce

Afternoon Forum & Sessions

12:00—5:00 P.M.

Luncheon Forum (12-2 P.M.) Beyond the Buildup: Sustaining Guam’s Workforce Session One (2:00–2:45 P.M.) Introducing Office 2010 • Writing Effective Performance Reviews • WorkKeys – Finding the Right Person for the Job • Capacity Building with Service Learning • Financial Planning: How to Stay Green Session Two (3:00–3:45 P.M.) Project Management Course Preview • Keyboard Shortcuts for Windows & Microsoft • No More Death by PowerPoint • Business and GovGuam • Social Marketing for your Business Session Three (4:00–4:45 P.M.) MS Office Certification Prep • How to Build Green with LEED • How to Create a “Stress-Free” Workplace • Incorporate the Hafa Adai Spirit at Your Business • Workshop/Conference Energizers

Evening Activities 5:00—8:00 P.M.

Free Fun Activities For All Ages!

Join GCC students and instructors for an evening of fun, including dancing, singing, eating, and exploring the many programs GCC offers.

• Poetry Slam • The Apple Sessions (Mac, iPhone, iPad) • • GHRA Job Fair • Blood Pressure Screening • • Free Vehicle checkups • Learning Resource Center Tours • • Food Booths • Shadow Puppet Show • Dunking Booth • • Early Childhood Career Explorers: Kids explore careers! • • $5 (almost free!) Haircuts • GCC’s Got Talent Contest • • Promoting Job Shadowing • Using MathXL to Teach Math • • GCC EcoWarriors Recycling Contest • • Free movies • Video Scrapbooking • • Free Microsoft Office 2007 exams and more!

Come and join us for a day of fun and learning. Go to www.guamcc.edu for a complete listing.

fitness | 2.11

14 the high road February 2011

parenting | 2.11 By the Dads @ fathers.com

Valentine's Day: What's a dad's role?

What are your plans for this Valentine's Day? While you're planning that special gift, gesture, and/or date, it's also good to remember that you're still a father.

If you view your teenager's romantic relationships as an area in which you should not be involved, recent research indicates that there's a better approach, as reported by Sue Shellenbarger of the Wall Street Journal.

According to the studies, the opposite-sex relationships that kids form in their teens have a surprising influence on their development. Even more significant

— at Valentine's Day and all year long — sets a great example for your kids.

ACTION POINTS • Be intentional about spending "down time" with your teenager, or time working on something together. Show that you care and you're available if and when he needs to talk.

day they'll do something for their spouse and it will dawn on them: This is just what Dad used to do for Mom. Watching the way you treat their mother will create an invisible but indelible record in their hearts and minds."

me, 'I never saw my mother and dad kiss until I saw her lean over his casket and kiss him after he had died.' What a missed opportunity! But I'm thankful that my Pop wasn't afraid to show how he felt about Mom. I remember how I felt when I saw my dad hug Mom, or when he would do something special trying to win her favor. It was thrilling for me to see that, and maybe that's why I'm so big on encouraging all dads to show affection and be thoughtful toward their brides in front of their children.

Give those hugs. Hold hands with her. Hold doors open. Dads today don't do these things enough.

Have fun and be creative in coming up with ways to show her love and respect."

Carey added: "I have a friend, a successful guy in Texas, who told

This is part of your role, dad.

How you show love to your bride

children in this area, we are key models for our children of how a husband should treat his wife, as Carey Casey describes in his book, "Championship Fathering." When you serve your bride, "your children will be watching .... They'll be 'catching' it in ways they may not even be aware of.

They won't think, I'll have to remember this for later. But some-

How you show love to your bride — at Valentine's Day and all year long — sets a great example for your kids. for us, young people tend to have healthier relationships when their parents are available and willing to provide guidance in this area — not that we pry or try to control them, but we're there to listen and offer advice when they ask for it.

Along with gently coaching our

16 the high road February 2011

• Do you object to your child's choice in a dating relationship?

Instead of giving a mandate that she break it off — which would likely drive her even closer to that person — provide your feedback on what you see that worries you, and trust your child to see it eventually and make a wise decision.

• This Valentine's Day, ask your children what qualities they're looking for in a future spouse.

• Tune into something small that your wife enjoys — a particular type of chocolate, coffee, flower, music, etc. Set up reminders for yourself to give her a small token or gift regularly throughout the year.

• Are you a divorced dad? It's still important for you to model respect toward your kids' mom and other women. Encourage them to honor her in a creative way during the next few weeks. ■

how-to | 2.11

1

Treat Your Honey to a Personalized Valentine Bouquet

• Treat Your Honey to a Personalized Valentine Bouquet • • Show your creative side by putting together a special bouquet for your loved one this Valentine’s Day. It’s really easy to do – read on.

• • Things You'll Need: • Show your creative side by • Selection of cut flowers that will be pleasing to your recipient putting together a special • Foilage for color bouquet for your loved • Napkin and foil • Assorted colored paper and plastic sheets one this Valentine’s Day. It’s • Ribbon really easy to do – read on.

• Steps: • · Begin thinking about the flowers and foliage you want to feature in your bouquet. While the possibilities are endless, you may want to stick with more popular kinds that are fitting for the occasion like roses.

You will need: • • · Visit your favorite florist and check what types of flowers and greenery they have available. Make sure they’re in good condition • Selection of cut flowers that will be pleasing to and are not close to wilting or have bruises. your recipient • • Arrange the flowers so that they are positioned just the way you want them. Try various lengths and mix in some color. for color • Foilage • Secure the pieces together with tape, lay it on a moist napkin, and cover it with foil.

• Napkin and foil • Cover the foil with plastic to prevent the water from dripping out and layer it with your choices of colored paper.

• That’s it – quick and simple! You can even combine your bouquet with balloons, stuffed animals, chocolate • or Assorted a love note colored to make paper and plastic sheets it even more special!

• Ribbon • Photography: Eugene C. Herrera • Bouquet design: Jojo Sy-Quimsiam of Diana’s Florist

INstructions:

Step 1: Begin thinking about the flowers and foliage you want to feature in your bouquet. While the possibilities are endless, you may want to stick with more popular kinds that are fitting for the occasion like roses.

Step 2: Visit your favorite florist and check what

2

types of flowers and greenery they have available.

Make sure they’re in good condition and are not close to wilting or have bruises.

3

Step 3: Arrange the flowers so that they are po-

sitioned just the way you want them. Try various lengths and mix in some color.

Step 4:

Secure the pieces together with tape, lay it on a moist napkin, and cover it with foil.

Step 5: Cover the foil with plastic to prevent the water from dripping out and layer it with your choices of colored paper.

4

5

That’s it — quick and simple! You can even combine your bouquet with balloons, stuffed animals, chocolate or a love note to make it even more special!

Floral arrangement by Jojo Sy-Quimsiam of Diana’s florist.

Photo Credit: Eugene C. Herrera

inspiration | 2.11

MarleeN and Nick Legaspi spent last valentine's day apart while he was deployed.

A LOVE STORY:

By Jill Espiritu

IT ONLY added ANOTHER STORY TO THEIR ALREADY EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIP.

Just last year, Marleen Legaspi was bracing herself for the fifth Valentine’s Day in a row that she’d spend apart from her husband, Nick, who was off-island again during one of the most romantic days of the year.

This time though, it was not just a short training session, but instead a deployment to Afghanistan that began almost five months prior. Marleen thought maybe she’d get a call from Nick — if he remembered or wasn’t too busy in the field.

“Nick — he was so sweet last year,” Marleen says. “He made an arrangement with my daughter and had flowers delivered to me at work for Valentine’s Day. He called from Afghanistan, too — I really wasn’t expecting any of it,” she said.

“When I got home that day, my kids kept asking me, ‘did you get something today?’ It was such an emotional time for me. That had to be my most memorable Valentine’s Day,” the mother of three adds.

Although Nick routinely leaves for short periods of time as part

18 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

of his military duties, Marleen and the kids weren’t really prepared to be without Nick for over a year when he was called for deployment. The year went by torturously, as each holiday, birthday, and the couple’s wedding anniversary went by with Nick in Afghanistan and the rest of his family back home in Guam. Nick finally made it home right before Thanksgiving.

TOGETHER AGAIN “This year he’s grounded — if he has to leave again for any reason, I’m going to beat him up,” Marleen jokingly says.

Nick has over 25 years of military service under his belt. The lieutenant colonel was the former commander for the 94th Civil Support Team and was deployed last year as Team Chief for an Embedded Training Team

in Afghanistan. Currently, he is assigned as the J7, Chief of Joint Exercise Branch.

Even when Nick is on island, sometimes it’s Marleen’s turn to fulfill military service duties with temporary duty assignments. In addition to her full time job at George Washington High School as a teacher and now a counselor, the captain is a Medical Operations Officer for the Guam Army National Guard Medical Detachment and has six years of military service. Interestingly, while the fulfillment of military service may have kept the couple apart several weeks out of the year, it brought them together over 20 years ago, when both were ROTC cadets.

FIRST SIGHT “The first time I saw Marleen, she was reading a book under a

tree,” Nick recollects. “I remember she had curly hair then and was a fellow ROTC cadet. It was almost instantaneous. Other cadets were telling me, watch out — she’s a feisty one — but that didn’t stop me.”

Feisty or not, Nick persisted.

Although Marleen lived close to the University and would walk home, Nick always made it a point to ask if he could drop her home. He also would doodle pictures and write her letters and drop it in student mail for her. As Nick persisted more and more, Marleen resisted more and more.

“My friend even asked me, ‘why are you giving him such a hard time?’” Marleen reminisces.

Nick’s persistence finally paid off when Marleen said yes to attend Nick’s Commission Cere-

mony. From then, they started dating. December 1987 was the start of their lives together.

Although Nick got the girl he wanted, it was still an uphill battle for him. Marleen’s mother was very traditional and did not want her daughter to date while she was in college. Marleen was to graduate first and then take care of her parents, as the youngest of 13 children in her family. To make matters worse, the young couple’s first test of long distance came when Nick was ordered to go to Germany not even a year into their relationship. There were many nay-sayers who believed their relationship would not work with the two of them apart.

LOVE LETTERS “Nick wrote to me every day — if I didn’t receive a letter in the mail for a day or two, three letters would come in on the third day to catch up,” Marleen says. “These weren’t just a few lines here and there — they were seven pages long each!”

When Marleen was given the

“When we’re together at home, sometimes we’ll sneak in a kiss or hug each other in front of the kids and the kids will say, ‘Hello! Kids in the room!'” opportunity to go to training in Germany, she jumped at the chance to be in the same country as her boyfriend. She made arrangements with Nick’s friends to be picked up at the airport and brought to his place. When she arrived, Nick had been out in the field for a few weeks.

“When I got to the house, there were practically cobwebs everywhere — I thought to myself, was

this placed even lived-in?” Marleen says. “Then I saw it — he had this altar with all of my pictures. There was even this lifesize photo of me on the wall.”

The two eventually met up and spent some time together before Marleen had to leave. The couple continued with their relationship even when Nick was deployed to Iraq during Operation Desert Storm in 1991. There, he also

communicated with Marleen via satellite phone.

QUALITY TIME With all the time they’ve spent apart, they’ve learned to cherish the time they have together.

“When we’re together at home, sometimes we’ll sneak in a kiss or hug each other in front of the kids and the kids will say, ‘Hello! Kids in the room!” Nick says. “We just respond, we’re your parents and we’re still in love. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

OVERCOMING Like any other couple, Nick and Marleen have been through hardship that tested their relationship.

In 2002, Supertyphoon Chata’an sent floodwater that ransacked their home and destroyed nearly everything — including Christening gowns, letters Nick wrote to Marleen during their earlier years, and other family memorabilia. Two years later, Typhoon Tingting repeated history and left the family devastated without a CONTINUED ON PAGE 38

live easy | 2.11

WAYS to be Romantic — On The Cheap

By Leo Babauta

Often my articles on family are about spending time with your kids, but this month we’ll talk about another important aspect of families: couples. If you’ve got a significant other, I highly recommend you keep the spark of your relationship alive and find ways to show you appreciate each other, every week and every day, if possible.

Look for little, inexpensive ways to be romantic, and it will pay off for your relationship in innumerable ways.

least find some way to spend a couple hours together. If you’ve got kids, like I do, find a babysitter.

Why inexpensive? Well, you could rent a limo and take your love to a snooty French restaurant, or whisk him or her off to a trip to the snow-capped Alps, or rent a stadium and have the Three Tenors sing love songs for you while the New York Philharmonic plays in the background. I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford to do that kind of stuff more than a few times a month. The rest of the time, I have to resort to cheaposity

• Communicate. Romantic gestures don’t take the place of real communication. Take time to talk about your goals, your dreams, your plans for the future, your current lives, things you’re happy about, things you love about the other person, things you’d like to work on, things you’re grateful for.

• Weekly dates. I recommend you have a date at least once a week with your partner. It doesn’t have to be an expensive one, but at

• Inspiration. This list contains a lot of obvious stuff — you could probably come up with twice as many good ideas yourself. But the list doesn’t aim for originality — it aims to be an inspiration. Pick and choose some good ideas, or use it to spark some of your own.

Sometimes we just need a little reminder.

• Write a poem.

• Cook a romantic dinner.

• Give a full-body massage.

• Pack a sunset picnic.

• Pick wildflowers on the way home.

• Burn a CD with love songs.

• Give dark chocolates.

• Read poetry together.

• Prepare strawberries with fondue chocolate.

• Snuggle together on a rainy day.

• Leave little love notes everywhere.

• Send a love email every day.

• Take a moonlit walk on the beach.

• Snuggle together while watching romantic movies (Casablanca, Audrey Hepburn are my favs).

• Get good wine, watch shooting stars.

• Bring home good coffee or a decadent sweet.

• Take a walk down memory lane — visit some of the special places from your early days of dating.

• Make warm chocolate cake for dessert.

• Make a scrapbook with photos, mementos, and little notes from your lives together.

• Kiss in the rain.

• Bring home great take-out, and light some candles.

• Fix something or fix up the house just to make your partner happy.

• Slow dance to romantic music.

• Take a nap together.

• Make a list of everything you love about him or her.

• Write a love letter.

• Clip or email things that make you think of him or her, every day.

• Groom yourself, and try to look good for your partner.

• Take some quiet time and talk about your day.

• Feed each other grapes.

• Recreate your partner’s favorite romantic movie scene.

• Pretend you’re going on a first date —

Before we get into the list below, let’s look at a few notes on how to use the list:

20 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

• Forget Valentines. Boycott Valentine’s Day, as it makes people think they should be romantic on special occasions. Instead, pick one of these ideas and do it any day of the week — no need for a special occasion. 

Leo Babauta is the author of The Power of Less and the creator and blogger at www.zenhabits.net, a Top 100 blog with 175,000 subscribers — one of the top productivity and simplicity blogs on the Internet. It was recently named one of the Top 25 blogs by TIME magazine. Babauta is a former journalist and freelance writer of 18 years, a husband and father of six children.

show up at the door with flowers, all dressed up, with your car washed and cleaned, looking spiffy.

• Create a little box with a bunch of your partner’s favorite things inside.

• Give a little token to your partner to wear, and say it’s to remind him or her all day that you love them.

• Sing a favorite song to him or her.

Only do this if you can sing fairly well.

• Have dinner on the roof, with some candles. This doesn’t work if your roof slopes sharply.

• Hold hands, and walk somewhere with lots of pretty lights.

• Say I love you. In a different way, every day.

• Declare your love, very publicly.

• Enjoy fruit or berries and freshly made whipped cream.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

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• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Opus One in Anigua Oriental Supermarket, Agat Outback Steakhouse Paradise Fitness Center: Hagåtña, Dededo Payless Supermarkets: Micronesia Mall & Yigo locations PMC Clinic Port of Mocha, Tumon and Micronesia Mall PROA Restaurant Rambies: Micronesia Mall, Hafa Adai Exchange Seaside Fish Mart Shell SHIMBROS/Rhythm & Brews The Piazza, Hagatna Town House Furniture Store Triple J Auto Group Locations Triple J Commercial Tire Center Tropical Living, Hagatna Video Queen, Agat Video Quest, Tamuning

good works | 2.11

By Jill Espiritu

THE GOOD FIGHT THE AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY NEVER GIVES UP By 2020, more than 16 million new cancer cases and 10 million deaths (from cancer) are expected. That’s what the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention reports.

On the bright side, however, the department also states that cancer is “potentially one of the most preventable and curable lifethreatening diseases … (and) more than 25 million people are surviving for years after the cancer diagnosis.” The most common cancers worldwide are lung, breast, large intestine (colon and rectum), stomach and prostate, with lung cancer as the type that causes the most deaths.

The American Cancer Society (ACS) provides educational opportunities for the community to learn how to prevent the disease or detect it at its earliest stage. It also provides support resources for diagnosed patients and their families. The ACS also advocates initiatives that ultimately help reduce cancer numbers (i.e., tobacco tax increase) and supports national research initiatives. The Guam office is located on 479 West O’Brien Drive, in the Bank of Guam - Santa Cruz building, on the first floor, suite 102.

“The American Cancer Society works in communities across the country to eliminate cancer as a major health problem,” says Marisha Artero, ACS Community Manager – Health Initiatives. “We strive to save lives,

22 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

go to work at Andersen Air Force Base that morning, and I remember I cried all the way to work,” she added.

It was even more difficult to inform her family of the diagnosis. Upon hearing the news her husband then, the late George Rosenberger, immediately told her he was taking her off HELP IS OUT THERE. www.cancer.org [ island for treatment and care. help people when they need us the most and empower people to fight back against the disease.”

“You’ll hear about cancer or you might know people with cancer, but you will never know the MARISHA ARTERO [ depth of cancer until you’re told you have cancer,” says Annie Rosenberger, who was diagnosed with breast cancer on July 15, 1994. “When I first heard the words, it felt like the whole roof was caving in on me.

I even told the doctor to please leave me by myself for a few minutes. I just prayed and cried many tears,” said the 73-year-old Yigo resident.

“It was just like a hammer hit me, it’s a very hard thing to hear. Right after, I still had to

“When I was first diagnosed, I kept hoping it wasn’t happening to me, that it wasn’t really real – almost like a terrible dream that you want to wake up from,” Rosenberger says. “I was kind of numb after hearing the news, and I never felt that way before. The reality really set in just before my surgery.”

About two weeks after her diagnosis, Rosenberger went to Hawaii for a mastectomy and was in remission for a few years. In 2000, she had a gut feeling that something was wrong with her body and after a check up, it was revealed that her cancer metastasized to her liver. She underwent a new regimen that included weekly doses of intravenous Herceptin.

Although the Herceptin seemed to work, late last year, she was advised to go under a new chemotherapy regimen, this time with Taxotere.

In a collaborative study in 2009 by the Guam Cancer Registry under the University of Guam, the Department of Health and Social

“It was just like a hammer hit me, it’s a very hard thing to hear."

­— Annie ROsenberger, Cancer survivor

ANNIE ROSENBERGER [

Services and the Guam Comprehensive Cancer Control Coalition, researchers found that over 1,500 Guam residents have been diagnosed with cancer.

And, death statistics show that on average, about every two to three days, one local resident will die from the disease.

Cancer is the second leading cause of death in Guam, the study states. Incidentally, in a release

by DPHSS, heart disease ranks as the top cause of death in Guam.

Common risk factors for cancer in developed nations in large part include poor diet and nutrition and the use of tobacco, and in smaller part to infections, pollution and occupational exposures, the U.S. CDC Web site states. More than one third of cases develop from causes other than the aforementioned risk factors.

For the most fatal of cancers, lung cancer, cigarette smoking is touted as the main culprit for the development of lung cancer among Guam residents. Cigar and pipe smoking also contributed greatly, as well as exposure to second-hand smoke.

Prior to Rosenberger’s diagnosis, her link to the ACS was assisting in the coordination of military teams for past Carole Kai bed races, which at the time listed the ACS as a beneficiary. After Rosenberger’s diagnosis and subsequent mastectomy, she participated in a few programs including “Reach to Recovery” and also availed of wigs and head coverings, which she used after losing her hair following her chemotherapy regimens.

“I am thankful that I’ve lived as long I have and that I’ve enjoyed my life with my family,” Rosenberger says. “There are a lot of ups I keep telling myself – not everyone diagnosed with cancer has lived as long as I have. Whatever purpose God has, I just hope I am not failing Him.” 

social studies | 2.11

PERSPECTIVES ON LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Q: How do you preserve the spark

of romance in your relationships?

Hutapea: Our household of five children ages 1 to 10 is a busy one, to say the least. We’ve ‘lowered’ our expectations as far as romantic getaways are concerned. We would wake up early in the morning when the kids are all asleep and have our together time, and really communicate. My good friend has a neat way to keep the spark, she and her husband set aside Monday lunch time as their together time. We try to do this too, but between kids’ appointments, it’s a hit and miss. We enjoy it while we can, and we’re not too disappointed when we can’t.

Also, we pray together as it makes us realize we don’t have to fix the world’s problems ourselves. Lastly, play Kinect together, my daughter Faith said the boxing games will work out any anger issues!

Paulino: There are many reasons through the years why my wife

and I have kept our romantic flame going. Mainly, it has been the little things we do for each other. The unexpected surprises really go a long way in making for a lasting memory.

You may plan some grand event or just a simple lunch, phone call or card when she least expects it.

Calma:

We have our date nights out, like going to small restaurants. At times we have to really leave our girls at the grandparents’ house so that we have our time together. Those are probably the moments I look forward to. Just hanging out at a store, window shopping, going somewhere nice to eat and talking about future plans is the best time I spend with my wife and she enjoys that. We keep it simple.

Camacho: Honestly, it's always difficult to find quality time with my wife Rosemarie while both

working and taking care of our three kids. We make time for each other and for ourselves. Going to lunch together and having date nights, without the kids, it's something we make time for, to remind ourselves we're not just parents, we're also a couple.

Palmer: Spending time together, doing things you love to do.

The good times spent together get you through any difficult issue you face. It takes effort from both people to be nice and be a friend to each other. Sometimes this means doing what the other person is interested in, even if it isn’t your favorite thing.

Date each other at least once a month, more if you can find the time. Flirt with your spouse. Try to remember when you were first dating and bring that feeling back to your heart.

EVERY MONTH, we invite everyday islanders to have a conversation about the topic of the day. Here’s what they said.

OUR PANEL A: Ray Calma Fifth Grade Teacher, Maria Ulloa Elementary/ Owner, Ray Calma Photography Married to Loida for 17 years

B: Victor Camacho Executive Director Make A Wish Foundation Married to Rosemarie for 12 years

C: Siska S. Hutapea, MAI, MRE Managing Partner Captain, Hutapea & Associates Married to Edward for 12 years

D: Deanna Palmer Realtor RE/MAX Diamond Realty Married to Marvin for 25 years

E: Robert Paulino Director of Marketing & Business Development Personal Finance Center Married to Eiscelle for 12 years

Q: Sometimes the best gifts are the kinds that money can’t buy. How do you put that into practice?

Hutapea: My husband is willing to wake up in the middle of the night when the youngest ones are awake and cater to them. He knows I’m not the type that can go back to sleep immediately. It’s a small gesture, but it means a lot to me. I would cook the comforting Indonesian meals for him, and he really appreciates this.

He would also send me emails on his daily devotionals.

Paulino: My wife and I juggle 24 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

our family, careers and community involvement among other things.

So, trying to find time for ourselves is always a challenge. The best gift we give to each other is our time. Some of the best moments together are just talking and catching up with one another reaffirming our love and support. My wife says little stolen moments like an unexpected hug really go a long way as well.

Calma: Gifts that money can’t

buy are my communication and my

focus on my wife and what’s going on in our lives together. Being a schoolteacher, wedding photographer, and outdoor enthusiast, I'm away from my wife for quite a while.

So, I think that my time by her side, making her laugh, and just putting my focus on us during those moments is what she really cherishes the most.

PALMER: Listen to a story for the

tenth time. Help get that old project done together with a smile and give

a back rub.

Camacho: I don't know if you call it a gift, but I love to cook and I truly enjoy my wife coming home to a home cooked meal after a long day at work. Also we enjoy spending time together driving around the island, going to the beach, or just hanging out with the kids in our lawn watching the sunset. Those moments are little everyday gifts we sometimes take for granted.

Q: Which love songs mean the most to you?

Hutapea: “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion. I was away in Sydney and my husband (then my boyfriend) was in Jakarta. It’s a great love song! The other two would be Maroon5’s “This Love," and Alicia Keys’ “Fallin’."

Paulino: My top three songs are Robert Palmer’s “She makes my day," Steven Curtis Chapman’s “I will be there” and Allison Kraus’ “When you say nothing at all.”

These songs expressed exactly how I felt and still do about my wife Eiscelle. It documents the journey of our relationship through the years. “I will be there” was a song my wife sang at our wedding ceremony that expressed her commitment to marriage.

Calma: “I'll be there” by Edwin McCain. The song truly expresses that no matter what, we will be by each other’s side. I love the song

“I Will” by The Beatles, the best band ever. It’s a great song in its simplicity and meaning.

— Victor Camacho

“And I love you so.” We have been side by side in everything, business, late night exams, off-island trips, the birth of our three beautiful daughters. Those simple words

of "And I love you so" holds the greatest meaning and purpose. Finally, "You are the One” by Chris Cuevas is a song that I always played in my car when I was at-

tending the University of Guam while my wife and I were dating.

We played it everywhere we went.

When we got married we made this one of our wedding songs.

Camacho: “For the Love of You” by the Isley Brothers is a classic R&B song which nobody really knows all the lyrics and no one can really sing well, but we all try! It was playing at our wedding. “I Will” by The Beatles, the best band ever. It’s a great song in its simplicity and meaning. And finally, “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” by the Police. It’s not really a love song, but lyrically it has love song written all over it.

Palmer: All of them! Any song that allows us to slow dance, be held, and feel our hearts together. 

style 2.11

By Hernalin Analista

Let love be the source of your fashion inspiration this month.

Ladies, make it a point to understand your shape in order to better appreciate the way you look in your clothes. And since love is in the air, don’t forget to spruce up your wardrobe with a healthy dose of pinks and reds.

Identify Your Shape 1

Finding a dress that best flatters you depends on how well you know your shape and how much you understand what styles will help to improve your look. Although there are various body shapes, the most common are: the hourglass, rectangle, triangle and inverted triangle.

Model is wearing a strapless red and black dress

by Speechless.

Sen. Mana silva taijeron BECKY VILLAGOMEZ

0 The FIT IS IT

Opt for well-tailored pieces.

Avoid clothing that appears too bulky, too large, or too small.

Model is wearing black jacket by English Laundry, white shirt by Van Heusen, black and gray tie by Alfani, and khaki pants by Ralph Lauren.

TOP CHOICE [ If your shape resembles an inverted triangle, then your lower body tends to be fuller and/or wider than your upper half. Wearing a dress with a full skirt for example, works best for your figure, as the style will add to the lower body and give the illusion of fuller hips.

Model is wearing a gray faux fur vest by Material Girl, pink and grey dress by Tweeze Me, and chandelier earrings by Style & Co.

Men, if you’re aiming to dress to impress, first think about how you’re going to spend Valentine’s with your other half.

You’ll want to match your honey’s level of dressiness, the venue(s) you’ll be going to, and the type of activities you’ll engage in.

SUIT UP, MEN! 1 This grey suit and necktie with pink accents will be the perfect match if your loved one decides a fancy dinner is in order.

Model is wearing a gray pinstripe blazer and pants by Tommy Hilfiger, white Van Heusen shirt, and an Alfani multi striped tie.

28 the high road | January 2011

MATTHEW REEL

THE CASE FOR COMFORT ]

Does your date prefer a casual dinner coupled with a movie?

Then jeans and a sweater are perfectly acceptable.

Model is wearing Levi’s Silver Tab blue jeans and an Alfani red knit sweater.

[ QUALITY MATTERS

Choose your materials wisely.

Look for high quality fabrics. Fine clothing materials not only give the impression of wealth, they also promote the longevity of your clothes.

TOP RIGHT: Model is wearing a printed black, brown, and beige shirt by Alfani, black trouser pants

by Sequin Hearts, tweed sleeveless vest in black and gray by Michael Kors, and clipped earrings by Charter Club.

TOP LEFT: Model is wearing a green sweater by Ralph Lauren, plaid shirt by Ralph Lauren, and blue pants by Ralph Lauren.

RIGHT: Model is wearing a yellow shirt by Ralph Lauren and khaki shorts by Ralph Lauren.

CASUAL FUN1 Planning to go dancing after a quiet meal? A dressy longsleeve shirt and slacks won’t constrict your movement on the dance floor. And, it still looks like you made an effort to please your date.

Model is wearing a pink and white striped shirt by Izod and Ralph Lauren khaki pants.

CURVE CONTROL1 When your shape is more like a rectangle, too many styles will leave you looking boxy. To achieve a shapelier figure, try wearing shirtwaist dresses or a fitted dress with little or no waistline. These styles will help you appear curvier.

Model is wearing a pink ruffled spaghetti strap dress by City Studio and fuschia bracelets by Fossil.

CREDITS • Men’s and Women’s Clothing & Accessories: Macy’s • Models: Becky Villagomez, Mathew Reel • Venue: Hyatt Regency Guam • Photography by: Eugene C. Herrera • Stylist: Hernalin Analista • Make-up: Hairdresser by Kimberly, Sapphire Estrallado

30 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

smart money | 2.11

By Michael San Nicolas

I really start to get nervous When February comes arouND. This is the time that I have to make sure that I go the extra mile to make my lovely wife feel special.

What always gets me is that I do this on her birthday, Mother’s Day, our anniversary, and Christmas, so by the time Valentine’s Day comes around again I am fresh out of ideas and a little lean on the wallet. All of us know that there is no way around it, we just have to get creative.

The hardest part about running out of ideas on how to show people how special they are is that we oftentimes default to spending more. After all, who wouldn’t love the expensive handbag or the glittery gems and shiny gold jewelry? Luckily I have found out after five years of marriage that expensive things, while appreciated and welcomed, don’t need to be a consistent way to express how important someone is to you. Here are some ways that I have come up with to make valentines affordable and special.

TAKE STOCK First, take a step back and actually think about what your other half would really appreciate. For me, I know that it is more of my time, and the extra effort to make the day warm and intimate. What I am planning is a nice home-cooked meal by yours truly of my wife’s favorite "Mike meatloaf," with candlelight and a pretty rose, while our two children are babysat by Grandpa and Grandma (we’ll celebrate V-day early to make this work for everyone). I plan a lot of hand holding and “footsie," eye gazing and open expressions of love and appreciation.

To polish off the night I’ll give in and watch a “girlie” movie with her on the couch, and breakout a bottle of coconut oil for a longoverdue foot massage. The key is not to do anything different (I do these things for my wife every now and then), the key is to do all of it on that day, and make the effort to

32 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

show your other half how much they matter.

BE SENTIMENTAL Another great Valentine’s gift would be to think back to what you did years ago when you were both broke but able to make the most of the moment. I remember buying a couple of roses, a balloon, and a pretty candle and setting it all up on my wife’s desk before she got into her class at UOG. If she wasn’t on maternity leave, I’d probably conspire with her co-workers to set it all up for me before she got into the office in the morning. Here’s a secret: ladies always love to have their man express his mushy headover-heels love out in the open, especially on Valentine’s Day. My wife once made up a bunch of coupons for me, with a whole lot of different things that she knew I liked. Whenever I wanted something, all I had to do was whip out my coupon and she was stuck! Funny thing is, they turned into cute bargaining chips that I could wave around and trade for something else. Nothing is more fun for me than watching my wife try to “sell” me

something or to negotiate why she “needs” what she does. This special gift turned into something that made Valentine’s Day extend throughout the year.

In a nutshell, Valentine’s is all about making the one you love feel special, and feelings are more impacted by what we do and how we do it rather than how much we spend. This Valentine’s join me and be a broke valentine, and find out just how much more appreciated it is by that special someone, and the bank account you both share! ■

Michael San Nicolas is a Wealth Manager with BG Wealth Management Services in the Bank of Guam, and serves as a Financial Advisor with an educational certificate in Financial Planning. A proud husband and father, Michael is the author of "A Father's Hand: Lessons for Life from Father to Son.”

it’s that easy

see clearly | 2.11

By Peter Lombard, M.D.

7 ways to keep your eyes healthy in 2011 Along with the New Year's resolutions you read about in the January edition of The High Road, commit to achieving good "eye health" as well!

Wear uV blocking sunglasses when outdoors and especially when on the water.

Wear eye protection

Protect your eyes from the sun Wear ultraviolet-blocking sunglasses when outdoors and especially when on the water. The sun is always shining brightly in Guam! The conjunctiva, or thin layer of tissue covering the whites of the eyes, is susceptible to sunburn. Do not stare directly at the sun or at the sun's reflection, as this can damage the rod and cone photoreceptors in the retina. Permanent vision loss may result!

Practice eye disease prevention and get regular eye exams Most diseases that cause blindness, like glaucoma and diabetes, can be treated, or their progression slowed down with the proper diagnosis and management. While there is no cure for some eye conditions, there have been major medical advances for age-related macular degeneration, glaucoma, and cataracts. By visiting your eye doctor on a regular basis, you can catch eye problems in their early stages when they are easier to treat.

For most people a "regular" eye exam means every 12-24 months. If you wear glasses or contacts and are happy with your vision, it’s probably all right to wait a couple years between visits.

34 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

decreases the oxygen delivery to the cornea. It also sets your eye up for infection. The worse cases of corneal ulcers I have seen were the direct result of improper contact lens hygiene.

Also remember to NEVER, EVER store your contacts in tap water!

A particularly nasty organism called acanthamoeba can deposit on your lenses from the tapwater, and cause a horrible cornea infection.

For diabetics, an annual exam is an absolute must! High blood sugar levels eventually damage the blood vessels of the retina, leading to leaking vessels, abnormal vessel growth, and potential vision loss.

Practice good eyelid hygiene It is actually quite common for the eyelid margins to become inflamed and irritated.

This condition is called blepharitis, and it is largely unrecognized as the symptoms are generally mild and tolerable.

Dry eyes are one of the symptoms of blepharitis. The eyelid margins may also become red and itchy, and you may feel like your tears are thick and sticky.

To help with symptoms of blepharitis and dry eyes, I advocate a 3-step eyelid hygiene process, which includes (1) warm compresses applied to the eyelids, (2) a gentle eyelid massage with your fingertips, and (3) cleaning the eyelid margins and eyelashes with baby shampoo and a Q-tip or washcloth.

This process helps to loosen the blocked meibomian glands restore a healthier tear film.

Prevent and treat dry eyes Do you spend hours at a time in front of the computer?

Are you an avid book-reader or

TV addict? These activities demand visual attention, and as such, we tend to blink less as we are focusing on the visual stimuli at hand. This promotes the evaporation of our tear film, leading to dry eyes. Cornea dryness is irritating — it can feel like there is sand or grittiness in the eyes. Compounding the dry eye problem is the fact that as we age, our tear production naturally decreases, and blepharitis becomes more problematic.

Make a mental note of when you have dry eye symptoms, and if they are worse during certain task-specific activities.

Be conscious of blinking adequately, and if necessary take short breaks to replenish your tear film. Try using artificial tears before and during these activities… I like to recommend Genteal or Refresh eye drops.

Generally I do not recommend Visine as an artificial tear, as this is primarily a vasoconstrictor and does not treat the underlying dryness.

Practice good contact lens hygiene If you wear contacts, take them out every night! Despite the "extended-wear" labeling of some types of contact lenses, most ophthalmologists will recommend taking out your contacts every night for cleaning. Having a contact lens on the eye

Staying active and fit does not come without risks! Racket sports like racketball, and team sports like basketball are the perfect set up for traumatic eye injuries. Do the right thing and wear the appropriate eye protection for your activity. Ensure your children are doing the same.

For those with poor vision in one or both eyes, you should be wearing glasses ALL the time, and the lenses should be made of polycarbonate material that is shatterproof.

Don’t ignore ominous eye symptoms Flashing lights, floaters, dark spots in the vision, vision loss, sudden blurry vision, eye pain and redness, and double vision are all symptoms that should prompt an urgent visit to your eye health professional. ■

Peter Lombard, M.D. comes from a family with strong medical ties to Guam.

He is a Lieutenant Commander in the US Navy and was recently assigned to Naval Hospital Guam as the only military ophthalmologist on the island. He attended the US Naval Academy for undergraduate training, and completed medical school at Johns Hopkins University. The statements expressed here are his own and do not necessarily represent the views of the US Navy or US Government.

A

D

dining out | 2.11

E

By Suzanne Perez

If you love the taste of authentic Italian pizzas and pastas, then you’ll love the Al Dente Ristorante located in the Hyatt Regency Guam.

The restaurant boasts scenic views of Tumon Bay and provides a romantic setting for those wanting a nice, cozy dinner or lunch. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, the Al Dente Ristorante will serve as the perfect romantic venue for you and your loved one.

Chef de Cuisine Jo Ong said there are plans in the works for Valentine’s Day. “I will be serving up a special romantic six-course set menu,” she said. Be sure to look out for her special menu on what is coined as the most romantic day of the year.

The Al Dente Ristorante has served thousands of locals and visitors since its opening in 1993. The restaurant was one of the first to open in the Hyatt Regency Guam when the five star hotel also opened its doors eighteen years ago. When customers walk into the Al Dente for the first time, they’ll instantly be drawn to the dark wooden floors, furniture, and fresh white linen.

“The design of the restaurant is contemporary with an open kitchen, meaning the guests can watch their food being prepared by the chefs. The interior colors used inside the restaurant are earth-tone with wood and leather accents to convey a warm and friendly ambience,” said Ong. The Al Dente Ristorante has much more to offer than traditional pastas and pizzas. Ong said the lunch buffet features a good selection of antipasto and even has a wide selection of food tailored for vegetarian diets. “I can say that we have the best Italian antipasto buffet on the island…as for dinnertime, people can expect good food, friendly service and an upscale dining experience,” she said.

Every week, Ong comes up with a Chef’s special for lunch and dinner. She said some of the more popular menu items are the pizzas

36 the high road February 2011

B

F

C

G

I baked in a beech oven, the grilled lamb, Certified Angus Beef tenderloin fillet, veal saltimbocca, lobster and various pasta dishes.

The highly recommended appetizers are the Caesar salad, seafood platter and antipasto misto. Despite the vast array of menu choices, Ong has her favorites.

“My personal favorite item on the menu is the Chilean sea bass. It’s good for those who are health conscious,” she said.

The dish is served with vegetables - no starch. Another personal favorite of Ong’s is the lamb which she described as, “tender and juicy.” Although there are other Italian restaurants on island, Ong said what sets the Al Dente Ristorante apart from the others is their extensive wine list.

This is perfect for those who enjoy a nice glass of wine with their dinner.

Ong said the restaurant can accommodate up to 108 guests for dinner and up to 98 for lunch. The buffet lunch costs $22 and for dinner, the average check ranges from $40 to $60. The hours of operation are Lunch: Monday-Friday 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. and Dinner: Daily 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Call for a reservation today. 

H IMAGES OF TASTE A: Smoked Salmon. B: Chef de Cuisine Jo Ong. C: Pepper Crusted Ahi Tuna. D: Oysters. E: Grilled Beef Antipasto. F: Tomato, Mozzarella and Basil in Extra Virgin Olive Oil. G: A Portion of the buffet at Al Dente. H: Green Asparagus with Shaved Parmesan.

I: Marinated Prawns

inspiration | 2.11 continued from page 19

“I believe that as long as we have a strong foundation, we can put anything on it and build." home again.

together — the feelings we felt then,” Marleen says. “I believe that as long as we have a strong foundation, we can put anything on it and build."

“I’m just so grateful to have him,” Marleen adds, choking back some tears.

As much as possible, Nick and Marleen will sit down with their children and plan any

“Losing a house twice really humbles a man,” Nick says.

“I’ve seen other folks’ marriages go south because of hardship. We had some really hard times with the house, but we found that if we just talk things through we can work it out.”

“It usually goes to us reflecting back to when we began our lives

THE

family outings together. The couple will also schedule in some needed alone time. Now that Nick is back from deployment, he has rolled out the calendar and made it a point to map out the important occasions for which he must try to remain in Guam with his family.

One of the first few occasions?

Valentine’s Day! 

OF LOVE

FRAGRANCE IMPAIRED? DON'T WORRY Perfume and cologne are popular gift choices for Valentine’s Day, but purchasing them can be an intimidating task for some.

Fragrances safeguard against odors and they can also become your special signature scent.

If you want to be mysterious, choose a scent that has more of a musky smell. If you want to be cheerful, choose a light, floral or citrus-scented perfume. These are just guidelines and not strict rules.

tion points.

• Application points are behind your ears, the glandular points on your neck, your inner wrists or behind your knees. Some people prefer to mist the air in front of them, and walk into the fragrance.

• Refresh no more than once in the day or night for light scents that don’t have much staying power.

• Once you purchase your fragrance, make sure to keep it away from heat. Storing it in your car is a definite no-no.

Here are other tips you may find useful: • Perfume or cologne may smell wonderful when sprayed into the air, but once it’s sprayed onto your skin, it may not react well with your body chemistry.

Use a tester to spray it on and keep tabs on how it smells a few hours later.

• If you plan to give it as a gift - and it won’t be a surprise, take your other half shopping with you, so you can make the choice together.

• Evaluate each perfume for scent and allergic reaction. If 38 the high road February 2011

you get an allergic reaction, it won’t matter if it smells good.

• Be subtle about applying perfume or cologne. Try not to exceed two sprays per application.

• If you have a regular cologne bottle, avoid splashing it on.

Apply one finger over the bottle opening, tip it over and evenly apply it to your favorite applica-

Not sure what your honey will like? Kathy Walker, Store Manager for the Fragrance Outlet at the Guam Premier Outlets, offered these suggestions. They’re all top sellers.

FOR HIM

Givenchy Play: Amyris wood, patchouli, bergamot and citrus.

Bvlgari Man: Lotus, bergamot and violet leaf; middle notes are vetyver, woodsy

notes and sandalwood; base notes are cashmere wood, benzoin, white honey.

Versace Man Eau Fraiche: Lemon, rosewood, carambola, cedar leaves, tarragon, sage, musk, amber, sycamore wood

FOR HER

Ed Hardy, Hearts & Daggers: Blood orange and juicy Gala apple meet violet leaf while energetic waves of mango, apple blossoms, and pink jasmine join.

Beyoncé Heat: Radiant floral bouquet of magnolia, neroli and red vanilla orchid balanced with a kiss of luscious blush peach.

Ed Hardy Born Wild: Dewberry and cassis buds blend with the power of magnolia and peach blossoms to create a whirlwind of intoxicating aromas. ■

ask the bone doctor | 2.11

HOW I CAN fi ght OSTEOPOROSIS WHILE I'M STILL YOUNG? Dear Dr. Fitzsimmons, I’m approaching my 40s and have started thinking lately about how my bones will be when I become a senior citizen. Is there anything I can do now to prevent Osteoporosis?

Are there any warning signs?

– Cynthia

Hi Cynthia, This is a great question. Osteoporosis is a very broad topic, but I will try to highlight the most important points. The national osteoporosis foundation (NOF) recommends testing a patient’s bones using a bone density test in all women greater than 65 years old and men greater than 70 years old. Adults older than 50 who have had a fracture should also be tested. Women and men 50-69 years old should also be tested if they have multiple risk factors for osteoporosis (this is determined by your primary care doctor). There are other special medical conditions that can cause os-

teoporosis in patients less than 50, but these are not common. Incidentally, Medicare will cover most bone density testing in people greater than 65.

The NOF has also made guidelines for osteoporosis prevention. All individuals should consume at least 1,200 mg of calcium per day by diet or vitamin. The NOF also recommends a daily intake of 800-1000 IU of vitamin D per day whether by diet or by vitamin.

Regular daily exercise is also recommended.

This can decrease the risk of fall, strengthen bones, and improve posture and balance.

Walking 30 minutes per day in patients greater than 60 has been shown to decrease the risk of hip fracture. Patients should see their primary care doctor before starting an exercise program.

Prevention of falls in the elderly will also decrease hip fractures and checking home safe-

ty and using canes or walkers when needed is advised. The NOF also strongly advises patients to avoid smoking tobacco as this is detrimental to bones. Moderate alcohol intake is fine, but three or more drinks per day can weaken bones so avoid excessive use of alcohol.

Thank you for your question, Dr. Sean Fitzsimmons ■

Sean Fitzsimmons, M.D. has completed an orthopaedic surgery residency at Mount Sinai Hospital and an orthopaedic sports medicine fellowship at Lenox Hill Hospital, both in New York City. During his fellowship he worked with the New York Jets, New York Islanders, and Division I and II college soccer and basketball teams. He has training in the latest arthroscopic treatments for shoulder problems and knee ligament reconstructions. His office is in the Guam Medical Plaza in Tamuning.

If you have any questions for Dr. Sean Fitzsimmons, you can send them to questions@highroadmagazine. com.

editor's note | 2.11

By Carlo Cariño

Help! I need somebody!

Amazing things can happen WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU'RE LESS ALONE THAN YOU THINK. It begged a few questions, however. Why hadn't I done it before? Why do so many people choose to suffer on their own instead of turning to others? Why don't we ask for help when we need it the most?

Pride, shame, or previous trauma could be a cause. It could be a product of conditioning as well.

WHAT IS IT?

Success is hard to accomplish by yourself.

Failure, on the other hand, is usually a oneperson activity.

In last month's column, I wrote about going public with my efforts to lose 100 pounds. It was an admission of how much I've struggled with losing weight and a declaration that I was going to stop hiding it.

What I didn't realize was this — the article was an open call for help to anyone who was willing.

Incredibly, ‘anyone,’ turned out to be nearly everyone I know — and even people I've just encountered on Facebook or my blog. Their simple encouragement has proven to be more help than I could have imagined.

40 the high road FEBRUARY 2011

Asking for help isn't an admission of weakness. It's an act of trust. It's a show of respect.

Even the smallest bit of it can change a life. Don’t take it lightly — it’s powerful stuff.

WHY DO IT? Somebody had to show you how to change a tire. Whoever it was, that lesson probably saved you from getting stuck many times over since then.

Without them, you’d be standing by the side of the road, helpless and scared in the face of

lationships, work, parenting, or other kind of struggle — the effect is the same. You feel lost, alone, and immobile.

That feeling, as strong as it may be, though, is a lie.

Help is out there and it can get you going again. If you want it, all you have to do is ask.

HOW DO I ASK? Contrary to some opinions, people who ask for help aren’t mere whiners. They aren’t just looking for charity.

They don’t do it to seek attention. If you need help, you shouldn’t think of yourself that way either. Whatever your reasons are for doing it alone, you need to give yourself permission to seek help.

If you are honest about your struggles and your desire to move forward, then you’ll more easily find the help you need.

People are often more gracious and understanding than we give them credit for.

Asking for help isn't an admission of weakness. It's an act of trust. It's a show of respect. oncoming traffic.

Eventually, in all areas of life, we all find ourselves stuck in other ways.

We can feel mentally broken down and helpless in the face of oncoming disaster. Whether you have problems with addiction, stress, health, money, re-

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? An instant solution is sometimes the result. Most of the time, though, help takes the shape of a good listener and a shared experience. Maybe that doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s

the first step toward overcoming hardship.

You may have to look beyond friends and family. Don't overlook professional assistance like doctors, lawyers, clergy, and therapists.

If the first person you ask won't listen, don't give up. There are plenty of people in this world, you'll find support somewhere.

Speaking of which ...

SOMEBODY ASKED ME for help!

WHAT DO I DO? Congratulations! Someone is coming to you with hope and trust.

Don’t sigh. Don’t be annoyed.

Don’t think about your own problems. Your only obligation here is to listen without judgement. What ever help you can offer is much more than they had before they came to you.

You say you can’t help? Nonsense. Help can take any of the following forms and a thousand more: encouragement, advice, referrals, comfort, sharing a story, a hug, a direction, prayer, understanding, and a willing ear.

ISN’T IT TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE? Maybe. But you'll never know unless you ask. ■

Carlo Cariño is the Editor of The High Road. He is a writer, illustrator, cartoonist, and graphic designer. He lives in Yigo with his wife, Juvy. You can follow his 100Pound Challenge at www.itsjustcarlo.com.