Finding Me… Through the Pain

006 – What a year in my memory! It was a time I made brave, bold, and courageous decisions. Those decisions, although they led to even more heartache, they reconnected me back to me.

Prior to this fateful time, my life seemed to be in order to those on the outside looking in. However, that “life order” was ravished! Within weeks, my mother passed away, my main client contract abruptly ended, and I filed for divorce from a twenty-three-year abusive marriage.

How could I possibly face all these changes and challenges?

Who am I anymore? What is my purpose anyway? I don’t really want to be here anymore!

I felt as if I died a shameful death. Life as I knew it would never be the same. I no longer operated in any of my normal roles. Everything changed.

I stood before God with everything I thought defined me stripped away. Would I allow Him to be enough? He wanted to do a new thing in and through me. He had big plans for my life. I got to discover parts of me that had been lost.

I’m grateful for the many encouraging women, my chosen sisters, who helped me focus.

I fought the deadening numbness and chose to have hope, a new drive and to trust. I continued to move forward in the midst of devastation...even when I didn’t feel like it. In the book, God Has a Dream for Your Life, Sheila Walsh writes, “For many years I applied an anesthetic to my soul, only to discover that you cannot be selective about which parts of your life you deaden. When you choose to contain pain, you contain joy too.”

At a time when I felt at my lowest, felt abandoned, felt alone and completely devastated, I’m grateful for my faith in God and that He never left me. I could always trust Him. “Though the fig trees have no bud and blossom and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails, and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet as surefooted as the deer, he enables me to go on the heights and takes me safely over the mountain (Hab 3:17).”

It was at this lowest time in my life when I rediscovered ME. I returned to my trust in myself. I learned to speak truth over myself. Truth like, “You are stronger and more brilliant than you even know.” I got to thrive in the newness of all that would come in my life and re-frame so much. I discovered my new life vision. It was as if I was given paints, paint brushes and a huge blank canvas to begin creating a beautiful, vibrant, healthy me.

You, my sister, can do the same. It’s time. You are worth it.

Bio: Michele Modellas is a Results Coach, International Speaker, Author, and Corporate Consultant who is determined see individuals transform and thrive in all areas of life. Her certifications in health & wellness, life coaching and sound healing equip her to empower others to live life to the fullest and beyond what they can imagine.