volume 10_number 08_aug_2010
FREEN
GYPTIA
de poster insy
JAHMU SPARTANS & UPPER SUPERMEN In Action
SCANDAL-O-METER Bush Gee, Njiris & Nembu
DRiZZY The Best You You’ve o ve Neverr Heard rd
The ay d i l o H Issue
CONTENTS
What’s Sizzling This Month
Flicks To Watch This August Holz
Star Dust Cover Story Drake Drizzy pg 31
Chronicles 254 Ever Wonder pg 4
SLY
Piranha 3-D and The Last Exorcism
KASK
Funkie-licious TV (FTV) Riddim Nation
Eric
I’ll give The Switch a try if the trailer is anything to go by
Nanny McPhee Returns, yaaayyyyyy!!!
pg 35
Celeb Scene pg 8
DALLAH BILL
THOME Vampires Suck is a definate must watch!
Pink Diary Street Style pg 43
JIMMIE
I so wanna watch The Other Guys & Vampires Suck
The Expendables might be worth checking out
The iMC’s Coolest August Moments Draft Constitution
More Local Proggies
After the refferendum it’s time for less talk & more change we can believe in!
Tutawakilisha...
Very sad... l coo es Tr
i-Qru Moments
The Insyder Offices:
Good Stuff!
Music Fests Natioz
So not co ol
Terrorism
Hi, The holz are here and I know for sure that most of you are out to enjoy it to the fullest, just remember that all actions have consequences, so try to have some clean fun, will you? This month’s issue feautures the best
It’s Holz Time Yaaay!
Tamima
Main Feature
Cover Story you’ve never heard on the hottest kid in the rap game Drake M.O.G - The Best Of Drizzy! Including lots of tidbits on what’s happening in the Both Worlds entertainment industry from Brooklyn to Kingston. You know that we had to be at all happenin’ funkie scenes to bring you the vybe and sizzlin pics just flip through the mag for your dose of teentainment! P.S: Hit us up on Facebook on The Insyder Magazine Facebook Fan Page and let us know what you’re upto this holz. X0XO iMC
On The Cover: Drake Drizzy
Joseph Kangethe Road, Tel: 3861649/3861623, 0718 000 002, P. O. Box 51634 - 0200, email: yuaholla@theinsyder.com
a l l o H a Yu
If you want to feature in the magazine, give us the scoop on your school: The hottest funkie, coolest peeps and all the low down. On your mark get set spill... Hit us up on: yuaholla@theinsyder.com SMS: 0718 000 002, Online: www.theinsyder.com
I Be The Next Illustrator Vipi I-qru, I’ve been checking out teeniez artwork in the Insyder and I decided it’s time I show off mine. I’ll probably be your next art consultant (*Wink *Wink). What do you think? Cimonz (304) Uppah
MOB THANX!
Vipi Insyder, On behalf of Thika high, I’d like to say mob thanx for hitting our school. We really had a blast. Feel free to come again. Kenneth ‘JR’ Kago (Thika High)
ustartion Cimmoz’ ill a : Opiyo a.k. Tanya Art By High el el Ko 4 30 Soulja , School
Sizzling Cover! Hi i-Qru! ’re Kudos for the good work you off , July cover was doing. The the hinges! It was sizzling. Size 8 rocks! I’m so proud she’s a Statoe ex-can. Jojo (304) Statoe
More Ragga Please…
connect Prince Aziz aziz U da best by tha way thanks 4makin me famous last year novemba abdy frm L.A High ...Kask,Tamima & otherz thnks 1nce more Lisa AmaDivar Mugera Hey I.Qru!!!! You guys are doing an AMAIZING! JOB!!! !! Pyke shock s döpe. :) :) I mith u guys LOADS!!! Bt i pray u gt more SUCCESS!! daR!!:)* *nawapen Chi Ching Ching Brayo Chuo gani huvuruga mafanki kama si jina kubwa AQ sijui Barbie Paulynn Pwiz si u guyz lemmie feature on on of yo mag coverz....i gat w@ it takes..
Wah Gwan I-qru, Is it possible to include more I like your mag ni poa sana. a ragga posters? ragga features in it? Perhaps OJ ) (404 y Vinn
Billton Omollo Size 8 waa......! Shi’s rlly srmthng.
Hi Vinny, mand. Enjoy the Gyptian Vinny, you’re wish is our com poster!
The Insyder Magazine that Alkardo...we told ya peeps to invite us for a funkie na tutarepresent mara that! :-) Search: The Insyder Magazine on Facebook to connect with The Insyder Magazine and holla at us all your comments..
iMC
slang’r corne
Dabus
Origin: Revamped version of sheng word buda
Meaning: Dude
Alkardø ‘Henrik’ Møggz Insyder c u huk up AQUINAS next issue jo
As used in a sentence
1. Bana siku hizi dabus ni mgam kwa pesa ya mchoro. 2. Dabus wa ule dem ameangukia mkwanja ya ajab.
BACK 2 SCHOOL HAS NEVER BEEN THIS
Dettol Cool wants to make your back to school experience cool with lots of prizes to be won! Simply fill in the blanks to describe how Dettol Cool makes your back to school experience fantastic and stand a chance to win shopping vouchers from Nakumatt, Nairobi Sports House and Text Book Centre!
As I gear up for school I must have __________________ (item you absolutely must have on your shopping list...hint hint) so that it can keep me feeling ________________ (adjective). So that I can remain as fresh as _______ (your coolest celeb). Looking good, feeling cool and staying fresh will help me_____________________ (your goal/anything you hope to achieve). Entry: Name: _______________Age: ___ School____________________ Cell:___________________Email:____________________ Complete this entry form and send it to us at Yuaholla P.O Box 51634 Nairobi.
!
Your local Inteenet Log on for all the vybe, the teen reality, the school truths that no one else will ever tell you! Pg 6.........T-9 Playa Prezident Pg 8.........Celeb Scene Pg 14.......Word Play
EVER WONDER 18
16
2
17 Is the song ‘Andazi’
21. Will Hollyweird celebz now name their kids Vuvuzela, K’naan, Shakira or even Tsangalewa?
20. Since Breezy made his new squeeze; dress like Riri, get an identical tattoo at the same spot, shouldn’t he change his joint’s title to ‘I can transform ya into Rihanna’?
19. Having watched ‘Being Erica’ on KTN, Aren’t you glad Drake switched to rapping?
18. Who’s the hottest
14. And isn’t it funny
Stephan (Vampire
that he’s a fly and yet
Diaries) or Edward (Twilight Saga)?
17.
Don’t Blair & Serena (Gossip Girl) kinda
16.
Who is the hotter deal Tero or Tanya?
spread Malaria!”?
13.
Doesn’t the ‘Ng’arisha na Omo’ show on
remind you of Summer & Merissa (O.C)?
he says “Let’s go and
15.
Citizen TV remind you of ‘Omo Pick a Box?
12. Aren’t Styles and Eve a lil’ bit too old
How many lives does
for the stunts they
Louis the Pest have?
pull on Vibe City?
Aug
2 0 1 0
4
11.
4. Mr.
‘brother skool’?
of Circuit’s ‘Manyake’?
Uppah, Mr. Jahmu,
10. Is Madtraxx’s
Mr. Kitondo and Mr.
name the secret to his
Ndumberi, isn’t the
maard tracks? vampire Damon,
call Strach Gee their
the dot.com version
9. Now
explosion of pageants
that’s his changed his
in jamaa skools a lil’
name to ‘Madtreezy’
worrying?
will it kill his swag?
Kiss TV’s reggae
8. Does anyone
show host take the
really understand
‘Jamaican accent’ a lil
3. Doesn’t
2. Wouldn’t
Lady Gaga’s
bit too far?
‘Alejandro’video?
a rehabilitation clinic
7. And hasn’t Gaga
for Facebook addicts
swag-jacked Madonna
be the best get- rich-
in this video?
6. Isn’t
Statoe’s Naija accent swag just whack?
5.
Why do Starch Bee
quick scheme?
1. If
Nicki Minaj and Lil Kim actually did get into a cat fight, who’d win?
Your local Inteenet
Mchongowano
T-9 Playa PreZIdent
Why Chics Are Like Whips All decent dudes out there know the ABC’s when it comes to hot whips but are clueless when it comes to chics when the reality is the two are actually very similar. Your dream car might actually be a clue to the type of chic that you really desire....
Flashy Cars
It’s great for a playa’s ego to be cruising in the hottest whip in town, just like it is to be dating the hottest chic in your area code. But remember flashy Chics and cars are pretty similar whips will always get attention & jealousy, so will a hot chic. And just like flashy cars require high maintenance so will a hot chic.
Test Drive
If you won a million baab and decided to get yourself a hot whip won’t you test drive it first? So why do playaz still insist on changing their Facebook relationship status to ‘in a relationship’ just because you chatted up a gal once and she seemed nice. Haven’t you learnt anything? The Feminus Obnoxium is just like a chameleon and will seduce you with the perfect manners, but the moment umeingia box....hell on earth! Get to know her first.
Perfection=Deception
There is no such thing as a perfect whip. Likewise there is no such thing as perfect chic. Period! Just like whips there’s always another chic out there with better features.
Accidents
When your dream car gets into a nasty accident, ofcourse you’ll try to fix it but a real playa knows when it’s time to write it off. Same thing with relationships when the cracks turn into fault lines don’t wait for the volcanic eruption. Cut your losses and run because you can never go back to the way things used to be.
Aug
2 0 1 0
6
Your local Inteenet
CELEB SITE
SCENE AROUND
CELEB 101 1. Mr. Jahmu Ferdinand Bush strikes a pose with Avril & Size 8 2. Celebrity babes; Size 8, Avril & Maida with fans 3. M-Net Face of Africa Kenya Diana Simabress Nekoye at Parky Arya Beauty Star funkie
1.
3.
4. Hey-z doing his thang at Uppah 5. ‘’Nataka kurudi Orcha na wewe,’’ Q-ta-C was smitten with this Huruma Gee babe
4.
5.
2.
Fill in the blanks for each song and name the artist/s.
Local Song ‘Kuna blu ya ________blu ya_________ ‘Kuna blu ya_________blu ya________ ‘ile blu imebaki beste yangu________ Artist:_________________
Clue: He is thankful to ‘Majengo’
Local Song Clue: ‘Ntakupa jamii,_____ _________ Mgenge Halisi ‘Uwe msanii, ______ _________sitakuacha featuring a Bora unipe unacho niaahidi, _____ mi nimeapa ‘Lady’ Artist/s:_________________ International song ‘I’m not afraid to______ ______ ______ ‘Everybody come ______ ____ ______ We’ll walk this ______ ____ ______ Artist:_________________
Clue: He’s on the path of ‘Recovery’
Answers: 1.) Dondo, mogoka, njugu, kuchoma, namwokoa Artist: Mejja 2.) Ukinijalii nimeapaa, huna ganjii, mgenge, mapenzi bora. Artist: Nonini Ft. Lady Bee 3.) take a stand, take my hand, road together, storm, cold or worm Artists: Eminem
Aug
2 0 1 0
8
FAME BY NUMBERS Solve theproblems to find out the age of Anne Kiguta KTN’s sizzlng bombshell news anchor.
> >
The number of studio albums Rihanna has released thus far
=
A
The number of arms Paul the Octopuss has
=
B
Subtract the sum of A & B from C
>
The number of tribes in Kenya
C- (A+B) = Answes: 4+8=12 42-12=30
MISSING LYRICS
=
c
Your local Inteenet
Fact 1 d fats Kids nee mins and vita w. to gro
Fact 2 Blu Origine Band a in fatsl is high vitami and ns.
Fact 3
Jus spreadt 4 slices Blue B daily with a provid nd Origina and vi es the fats l ta need t mins kids o grow .
Aug
2 0 1 0
9
Daily Blue Band. Daily growth.
Celebrating the International Year of the Youth GPANGE is a youth movement that was launched in December 2008. GPANGE is about us young people taking control of our lives and living healthy lifestyles. Did you know the year 2010 is the International Year of the Youth? In celebrating this year, GPANGE will continue reaching youth with its five philosophies to enable us realise our full potential and to lead healthy lifestyles.
Know the 5 GPANGE philosophies:
h and HIV Know your healt of your partner status, and that
Increase your economic empowerment
Increase your knowledge and awareness of HIV and other life skills
Avoid risky behavior
Believe in yourself
What have we been up to? Shuga In December 2009 GPANGE in partnership with MTV Staying Alive Foundation brought you Shuga the riveting story told through the characters Ayira, Ty, Felix,Violet,Skola,Sindi,Leo Kennedy and Virginia. Shuga illuminates the risks of unprotected sex and the party-hard lifestyles common among Kenyan youth. Majority of the young people who have watched Shuga reported they planned to take a HIV test, after they realised their lifestyles could have put them at risk of HIV infection. Shuga is being rolled out throughout the country through community film shows and peer education sessions. Due to the great success Shuga has had, “Shuga II� may soon be a reality.
GJUE 1 Million Campaign GJUE 1 million is a cool campaign that seeks to reach 1 million youth with HIV testing and counselling and to link them to other services including health, recreational and economic opportunities. So far over half a million youth have been tested. We expect to have tested 1 million youth by December this year. Look out for GJUE activations near you.
GPANGE Skillz GPANGE in partnership with Grassroot Soccer will soon be launching the GPANGE Skillz football activities. GPANGE Skillz will train football coaches and players on HIV prevention information.
Your local Inteenet
word play
Joint: Get Down
Artist(s): Madtraxx Album: Super Producer, Super DJ, Super MC Chorus
vile una-wine your waist you get down remind me of my phone, vibrate and get down get down, get down get down, get down vile una-wine your waist you get down remind me of my phone, vibrate and get down get down, get down get down, get down
since umeshaambiwa wee ndio msupa huku nini ngoma yako mi nta-dance tu huku unanichekelea si unifundishe kidogo nishike wapi, hio style ni poa jo
Blue Korna
Jina ya Gova: Simon Njoroge
ah, OK, ah sa naishika lakini una kinywaji, naskia kiu kabisa si twende basi juu siezi beba zote na maji baridi juu mazee uko hot like woah mazee unani-confuse like woah the way you moving your body like woah baby you got my attention my attention, you’re my attention
Msanii: Shrekeezy
Chorus
ka’waida
Verse 2
Verse 1
FLOETRY FURY
sa nacheki uko tipsy kiasi ma-double vodo ndio zina-check in basi kila song inachezwa unasema that’s my favorite and thats my song mpaka za Kofi Olomide kidogo wasee wanawika utado warr? kwani hii time yote haukujua eeh ni mimi Maddy aka Madtreezy Madtraxx eeh Mwendawazimu Mchizi sa lugha yangu imekuwa tamu aje juu unacheka na mimi sana tu mazee na hizo drink zote tatu zimepita kila moja ukisema ni ya mwisho and for the last one hour spin your last two songs lakini si-complain juu ushaniweka zone na ndani ya jeans zangu you know what’s going on you know what’s going on? now get down
Reppin’ : Koelel Track: The Guider Nimerelax mtaani na ka_ insa’ida nikichop saga flani ya ma_ alka’ida afta that blue corner maze ka ndo nicheki ka MC’Z wana think vi’wider nimekuja kurealize wananeed mawaidha kutoka kwa g.o.d wa rap;SHREKEEZY THE GUIDER maze kingdom ya me imegrow vi’tighter naskia hivi juzi imeget Taita
Red Korna Jina ya Gova: Eve Njeri Msanii: Vixen Reppin’: South Tetu Galz Track: I made you look
Chorus
Am shootin’! -- Aw made you
Verse 3
You a slave to a page in my
DJ anacheza ma-locals za zamani Kalamashaka na tumetoka wapi Githurai Mona Lisa (nipe shilingi) na ma E-sir Nonini Jua Cali mazee tukikatika
look rhyme book E-V-E got all the boyz in the hood on a stoop Thug girl owning this page on my red korner Aint messing na ma fala wa
kuku dance, kuku dance kuku dance everyone kuku dance slide, slide, slide, slide helicopter, helicopter mosquito, mosquito kadunga, kadunga ka Chinesey, Chinesey kangaroo, kangaroo sting, sting and get down
Chorus Aug
2 0 1 0
14
blue Korner Coz upende usipende I made you look Swing around like you stu-pid, king’a the town, yeah I been that You know I click-clack where you and yor men’s at Do the Smurf, do the Wop, Baseball Bat Rooftop like we bringing ‘88 back
e u j e i h J mbis a b u life!
&JUIFS XBZ OJ QPB LVKVB X X X H Q B O H F D P N